Authors note: hi, this is my first fanfic. Reviews are much appreciated, and I'd love some constructive criticism to better my writing.
Mum: Nevaeh, you're forgetting something
Me: the story?
Mum: no, it's right below this authors note
Me: then what?
Mum: the disclaimer you weirdo
Me: do I have to say it?
Mum: yes
Me: fine… I don't own Twilight there I said it
Play for me, a Renesmee story
Prologue
Bella POV
My name is Isabella Swan, and I am frozen at 18. You're probably wondering why that is? Well I'm a vampire to put it simply. You must be thinking that I should get locked up in a mental asylum, well some people do actually. And by some people, I mean me. I mean the small nagging voice in the back of my head that says that I'm insane. I mean the part of me that sometimes wishes that things could go back to the way they were. The way they were before he left. And sometimes , I catch myself wondering what things would be like for me and Renesmee if he had stayed.
Oh, let me tell you about Renesmee, the light of my existence. Renesmee Rosalie Alice Swan Cullen is forever frozen at that awkward stage between 17 and 18, when you have to ask for her age because you're not exactly certain until she tells you. She is the most beautiful thing anyone could ask for. Her long bronze curls cascading down her back, The colour just like her father's. Then her perfect and pale face, so like his that it hurts sometimes to look at her. It rips open that carefully guarded black hole in my chest, the one that makes me fall to the ground and stop breathing even though I don't need the air. It probably would've been worse if she had his eyes, but she has my brown ones. Well, let me correct you on that, I now have gold eyes, but when I was human my eyes were chocolate brown. He used to say that they were the most beautiful… Bella, don't think about him it's too painful. I think this because my amazing daughter is in the room with me, and I can't bear to see her Face if her strong mother breaks down like this. I call myself that for a reason, I have to be strong for Renesmee. I have to be strong for her, because she is the most important person in my life. She keeps me grounded when other people can't, she keeps me hanging onto my sanity and stops me from running after him and flinging myself into his arms. Because I know deep down that I want that, but if I let myself break like that, I don't know what will happen to Renesmee. Because if I run after him, I don't know if I would remember anything except his hands, his touch, his love. Then, reality sets in. I can't go running into his arms, even if I could've, because I have no idea where he is. And then the sensible part of me, the part that reminds the insane part that he said himself he didn't love me. And the memories come rushing back, the memory of that fateful day in the woods, the memory of those two pink lines, the memory of all the times I threw up, the memory of the day when Charlie kicked me out of the house. And then the whole rips open to much for me to handle. That's why I only let my insane side out when Renesmee is at school. And even then, I don't let it go too far. When it does, I think of the voice of my best friend, my sister, my now lifeline Alice. Even though she's no longer a part of my life, Alice Cullen, a.k.a. Mary Alice Brandon, is one of the most important people in my life as well. She's his sister, but don't make assumptions, cause of that fact, you may be thinking that I would hate her. But I don't. Alice and me made a bond so deep, far from the tentative bond of future sisters in law. Because yes, Edward was certain that he would marry me one day, even though he was so adamant that I would not become a monster. And yes, being a vampire is inconvenient at times, but I would never change it for Renesmee. And now I've just unintentionally told you of one of the reasons why I named Renesmee Renesmee Rosalie Alice. Renesmee, because it is a mix between Renée, my mother, and Esme, his mother, and Alice because of my Best friend. And Rosalie, his other sister. When I had awakened from my change and found little Renesmee laying on a rock, and staring at me with innocent brown eyes, I had no idea what to name her. Many popular names flashed through my head, Natalie, Olivia, Ella, but then I decided I needed something unique because she was indeed a unique child. I had met another half human half vampire hybrid whilst I was pregnant, and he basically told me everything I needed to know about my miracle. He told me everything I needed to know, but then I was in a dilemma. I knew what to do, but I didn't have supplies. Charlie had already kicked me out by then, and I found myself driving aimlessly towards the Cullen house. Upon entering, I stared around in shock and horror. Everything was exactly as it had been the last time I had been hear. It was exactly like they just moved their cars and went without even packing a single thing. But then my mind caught up and I realised that could be easily what was had happened. Carlisle had enough money to last him for centuries if not more, and well it would just be more convenient to just move. After the initial shock, I noticed a white piece of paper sitting on the piano. It read as follows
Dearest Bella,
I saw flashes of what you would need, it's all in the guest bedroom. Blood is in the fridge, don't know why you need that, and the key to Carlisle's cabinet is attached to this note. The cabinet has the syringes of venom in the second drawer from the top. I know you'll need it, don't ask me why. Just letting you know, I love you so much no matter what Edward told you, and you're always going to be my sister. Good luck whatever you doing. please know I will always be,
Your dearest friend,
Alice X
PS: Rose likes babies don't know why you need to know that. Also, I found out my real name is Mary Alice Brandon but it's just Alice to you.
That note flashed in my mind, the words as I stared at my daughter, I knew I could not name her after her aunt, It would be too weird. And what if she saw them again? Then I thought of Renée, the woman who was my mother, the woman I could never see again. But I couldn't even bring myself to call her Renée, and then I thought of Esme, and it sort of just clicked. Renesmee. So I decided then that her name would be, Renesmee Rosalie Alice Swan Cullen. I could've just use the last name Cullen, I could've just called her swan, but I didn't want her to lose ties with either of our families even though he had left me. I showed her pictures of the family a lot, I even showed her ones of him though it was extremely hard to try and be normal for her. I starred into the curious innocent brown eyes of my daughter , and the one question I would never think that Renesmee would ask fell from her lips. "When can I see my daddy?" It has been 10 years from that day, and I still don't have an answer. Renesmee was physically around three when she asked that, mentally much older, but in actual fact she was only a few months old. And now it has been 10 years, and I finally decided on how. We are going back to forks…
Authors note: just letting you know, Bella actually isn't insane, it's just her internal battle whether to love and we don't to hate him. Also, some reviews will be absolutely awesome. I probably won't update this for awhile, because believe it or not I wrote this using the voice to text function on my phone, but I'll have a proper laptop soon. Thank you so much for reading the small piece of a great story well I hope anyway. Also, if you would like to beater the story just PM me, As I need a beater because I make loads of mistakes.
Love
Nevaeh