Bella's PoV
The house was very much what I expected when I originally saw this house, it was no longer light and open, it was dark, it felt like someone's heart had been broken and I was the surgeon looking desperately for a way to repair it.
I sucked in a breath as I began to ascend the stairs to see what damage had been done up here and sunk deeper into my numbness as I ascended the stairs to see the wreckage unfold. Alice and Jasper's room was opposite Edward's so I didn't have to look very far once I was at the top. I sank to the floor trying my best to hold it together so Jasper wouldn't feel what I was feeling. Edward's door had been burnt in place then smashed to pieces, his room was a mixture of wet black and red paint, ash and broken shards. Everything had been broken or torn to ribbons, his curtains, the couch, all in threads. His music and book collection, smashed to pieces or burned in a pile. I forced myself to look into their room and saw a similar treatment. The only difference was that Alice's clothes were lined up to be burnt one at a time, some were unharmed, hanging on a hanger ready to be burnt or shredded. I could see a few that had been torn before being burnt laying in a corner. There were shoes, bags, hats, scarfs everywhere. Jasper's words swirled around my brain, he was charging to protect me yet Edward pushed me out of the way because he saw in Alice's vision only one explanation for Jasper to charge. None of them had given Jasper the benefit of doubt except me, a lowly human. I knew I was never afraid of him, I never would be, only for him and the pain he must feel every moment I'm around or from the scars I had seen earlier tonight.
As devastating as it was to stare upon their rooms, it felt right, the damage expressed how I felt inside and how Jasper probably felt inside also. Those two were always thick as thieves with an attitude that they were better than everyone else. Jasper found me shortly after sitting on the ground in the hallway, lost in my musings.
"You've gone numb again, I can't tell if that's a good thing right now or if you disapprove" he asked as he gently pulled me to a standing position with my hand. I knew I should say something but words were always getting stuck in my throat these days. I was always second guessing the point of speaking. I spoke out once, I said what I wanted and it meant nothing to him, he left anyway so what was the point.
"Okay well now you're spiraling down a rabbit hole of depression which I can gladly join you in, do you drink whisky by chance? I poured you a drink" he said as he handed me a glass with ice clinking inside. I accepted and took a few sips as I followed him up more stairs into the attic. I had seen it once and it definitely wasn't the same, instead of boxes of old stuff and dust mites, there was a simple king sized bed, a dresser, a massive tv with some of Emmett's games underneath, a table with a chair and a laptop in one corner.
"Welcome to my humble abode or rather where I've been hiding from my problems. There's a bathroom downstairs next to Carlisle and Esme's room. Don't feel weird, I already replaced everything in there since I personally felt weird going in there at first" Jasper informed me.
The walls had been freshly painted a dark blue with shades of dark black mixed in as you neared the floor. His bed sheets were a dark black as well as his duvet. It was hard to not see how I felt inside being represented in this house, my heart was broken in pieces like this house and was dark, untouched by light in other places.
"Alright I'll be right back" he said before heading down the stairs. I noticed he didn't zoom everywhere like everyone else did and I definitely appreciated it. A minute later he returned with two edibles and the bottle of whisky, he gave one to me with a big smile.
"I'm going to find a deer to convince to eat then then i'll bring it back, tuck it up in my old room, I'm sure they will like to eat her clothes and in an hour's time we should both be high, give me five minutes and I'll be back, help yourself to the whisky, and I promise I will be back, this house is real, it's not a dream and you have my word Bella that I will come back for you" he said as he cupped my face gently with his right hand. I smiled sadly and sat on his bed to start drinking out of the bottle.
Jasper's PoV
I sped off as fast as I could, not wanting to keep her waiting for long and soon found what I was after. I walked calmly up to the deer and offered the chocolate in my hand then stayed incredibly still. It took a minute and my use of my empathic ability to push trust and curiosity into the deer. Eventually she walked forward and started eating the chocolate right out of my palm. Once it was completely consumed, I gently carried her on my back, forcing fatigue into her so that she would sleep and not freak out as I ran a million miles an hour back to the house. I placed the deer in the room knowing she would be passed out for the rest of the night.
Bella heard me enter and came to have a look.
"Alright, take your chocolate and then in an hour we should both feel the effects if this works. She took hers and continued drinking whisky. I wasn't too worried about her stomach as I knew once the effects kicked in for her she would experience the munchies. I had never been high before but I knew the effects. Once she was munchie I would order something to be delivered or cook if I didn't feel out of it.
We passed the time playing one of Emmett's silly car racing games while laying back against the headboard of my bed. It was cozy and intimate and I wondered why Edward was such a child for leaving her after a few drops of blood were spilled.
"Whoa" said Bella after around forty five minutes, I had kept an eye on the time on my watch. I could feel what she was feeling and it felt insane, I wasn't sure if I even needed to drink the animal that was down stairs as her feelings were projecting so hard that I could hardly think straight but where was the fun in that, I wanted to drown my feelings for a few hours also.
"Yeah I can feel that, you're projecting, I'll be back in five, something tells me i'll crash a few trees on the way back so don't freak out if you hear some fall?" I said while holding her hand gently in mine.
She nodded her head and I quickly left. Once I was a fair distance out, I drained the deer, it was honestly probably the kindest kill I had ever made before. Immediately I felt my own high and it was insane, why haven't I ever done this before? Oh that's why, because the rest of the family were prudes that didn't believe in fun except my brother Emmett. As predicted I smashed into many trees on the way back before jumping to the attic window and opening it to climb in. Bella was giggling at me and it was the best sound in the world, I couldn't figure out why she was giggling though. I stumbled to the bed and sat down next to her again but Bella was still giggling hysterically at me.
"Okay what, do I have mud on my face?" I asked, suddenly feeling self conscious.
She giggled some more and I could feel that her stomach was hurting from too much giggling, she pulled out a twig from my hair and passed it to me. I laughed as well seeing the joke. It felt good, to just feel silly, happy, light, alive. I didn't think either of us had really felt that in some time, she was stuck in her funk and somewhere along the way, I had fallen into mine without really acknowledging it as I was focused on her. She had moved closer to rest her head on my shoulder which felt amazing, there were sparks flying in all directions where her head connected to my shoulder and everything felt crazy numb.
"Jasper, how come you aren't affected by my blood any more, and that night if you were not charging at me, what were you charging for?" Bella asked
"That night, I was scared that Edward was going to hurt you the moment you cut your finger, he was standing so close to you so I charged to get him away from the smell. Everyone mistook my actions for me trying to get to you and by the time I had given in to try to talk to them about my intentions, you had already hit the piano and there was blood everywhere. No one believed me except Rosie and Emmett. I'm not affected by your blood any more as it just reminds me of my failure and guilt, guilt for what I did to your life. If I hadn't been there, you would still be with Edward, you would have been happy. Why I wasn't affected that night, well that's the million dollar question I hadn't bothered to work out yet" I replied.
Bella squeezed my hand gently and sparks flew through my body again.
"Are you hungry yet?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah we should order?" she asked with her eyes half closed. I suspected mine was the same, this groggy feeling felt amazing.
"Sure, what do you want?" I asked as I fished out my phone from the back pocket and started to download a food delivery app. My once super fast brain was sluggish, slow, human and I struggled for a minute to navigate my suddenly very complicated phone. Once I downloaded the app I gave the phone to Bella and watched her scroll through options, eventually she chose Mc Donalds and went for a simple double cheeseburger combo with a coke and a chocolate sundae. It would arrive in twenty minutes so we continued playing games and smashing into each other for fun. Once her food arrived we made our way to the kitchen so she could eat at the breakfast bar. I offered her some bourbon that she could mix with her coke if she wanted which she accepted. I knew Edward would not approve of any of this and I certainly was enjoying her party side.
After she had finished eating we made our way back to my room to continue playing games with her beverage in her hand.
"When do you have to be home tomorrow so your dad doesn't worry?" I asked after one of our matches finished.
"I said I would be home for lunch but I'm not sure if I want to be any more. I spent the last four months in a haze till you woke me up and now the thought of going back to my room, where it's filled with memories of him, I just want to curl up and cry or run, very far away" she confessed. The walls felt like they were shrinking on us and I couldn't breathe, I quickly pushed love and calm into her in big doses as an anxiety trip while on a high would definitely end badly for us. I also pulled her close to my chest, wrapping my arms around her small frame as I struggled to breathe. This seemed to help calm her down which was a relief.
"Sorry" she whispered.
"Hey, you don't have to be sorry, If you don't want to go back, did you want to run away with me? Maybe get a change of scenery for a few months? Maybe it would help us both heal?" I asked after releasing her to hold her hands again and stare into her eyes.
"I'm not sure, what about school and Charlie? I don't want to intrude on your life" she mumbled.
"You're not intruding, and you're failing school so that doesn't matter. You could just tell your father that you need to get out of Forks for a while for your mental health. He would allow that, he's been very worried about you the past four months" I replied.
Bella didn't reply so I decided to lean back and enjoy the buzz while we failed at gaming since our reactions were sloshy. Eventually she began to yawn and at a quick glance at my watch, it was two in the morning.
"Hey, you should probably sleep, you can borrow one of my t-shirts and a pair of my shorts if you want for the night and please feel free to shower. The purple tooth brush is yours in the bathroom by the way" I said. I had ordered fresh soap, shampoo, conditioner, a shaver, a toothbrush and toothpaste when I had ordered the shopping.
I left her to her own devices and found my guitar to strum some music on while she did her thing. She showered, washed her hair and shaved from the sounds emanating from the bathroom. Bella definitely hadn't washed her hair in around a week and once she emerged from the bathroom in my t shirt and underwear shorts, I took her bundle of clothes to wash them and dry them while she slept. I returned shortly after to find her fast asleep which gave me joy. I stepped away for a moment to make a call to Rose after pulling the blankets up and over her shoulders so she would be warm.
"Hey Jas, what's up?" Rose asked as she answered after the first ring.
"Dude, being an empathic is amazing and being high is amazing and having Bella eat food is amazing!" I rambled
"Okay, so why did you call?" the ice queen ever the prude replied.
"Oh, um, oh yeah that's right, I might be coming back down soon but Bella might be with me, I finally let her see me tonight. Did you want to let Pete and Charlotte know?"
"Pete just told us a few minutes ago, we are very excited and Charlotte is busy ordering food and setting up a room for you guys" Rosie said in a very unimpressed tone.
"Damn, alright well don't go crazy and please be nice to her, she's been through hell and don't go crazy, she needs calm, not a million new things and too much food. Just be normal" I said.
"Says the person who's currently high, you know how I feel about that, touch her, and I'll remove your favorite body piece for the foreseeable future"
"Wow, no faith I see. Just you wait, we will do this again and I'll project everything, you will like it!"
"Just remember, you touch her, you lose it"
"Yeah yeah, goodnight ice queen"
I hung up before Rosie could retort with some smart comment about vampires not been innocent or trust worthy. I decided that I would sit at the table to read for a bit. Bella slept soundly for nearly three hours before she started thrashing, crying and screaming in her sleep.