Chapter Four: Saccharine
With sourness comes saccharinity. While it can be difficult to find the sentimentality in such situations, there is always light. Once you discover that light, a moment of epiphany or deep understanding, you can finally grasp the saccharinity. And, right now, my moment of saccharinity is humming in the bathroom as she finishes her bedtime routine. She was unusually quiet on the way home, and I knew the teenagers at the restaurant hurt her more than she cared to express. It hasn't always been easy for her to open up about her feelings. But, I'll always be ready when she needs me.
I smile as she walks to our bed, dressed only in a t-shirt, hair damp from our shower. She feels for the edge of the comforter as she climbs in, scooting closer to me. I hold my arm out so she can curl into her usual spot against my chest.
"Which movie will it be tonight, baby?" I ask, leaning down to kiss her. I feel her smile into the kiss, and I relax, knowing she's feeling better.
"I'm not in the mood for a movie," she whispers against my jaw line, teardrop kisses making their way down to my neck. Her hand slides underneath my shirt and tickles its way across my ribs, right below my breast.
"Mmhm, what are you in the mood for?" I giggle out as I sit up, pulling her into my lap to straddle me. I slip my hands underneath her shirt, relishing in the softness of her back.
"You." I can feel her tongue against my collarbone, and it's addicting. The feel and the smell of her are overwhelming in the best way. Her legs are locked against my hips, and I'm home. I'm lucky enough to be the one she opens herself up to, and I'll cherish her forever. I snap out of my haze as I feel her hands reaching for the hem of my shirt. I help her lift it over my head, giving her more room to caress, to kiss, to feel.
If I had to choose something positive about her blindness, it's that her touch is breath-taking. She takes in more with her touch than a sighted person could ever dream of taking in with their eyes. It's taken my breath away since the first time she touched my face.
It was our second date. I took her to the carnival, and I can still remember the excitement in her face when I won her the stuffed rabbit she still loves. She ducked her head and blushed when I told her how beautiful she looked, admitting that her mom had taken her shopping specifically for our date. I told her she'd look perfect in anything and kissed her cheek.
I gasped playfully when she told me she'd never had cotton candy before, so I bought a cone to share. She held the cone tightly as I tore a piece and held it to her lips. I smiled and watched her figure out the texture with her tongue. I smiled even harder when she said her lips were sticky, but reached for another piece. In that moment, I wanted to kiss her more than anything. We boarded the Ferris wheel and rested her hand against my thigh, palm up. I remember the way she threaded her fingers through mine, engraving in her mind the way my hand felt. My heart picked up speed as she told me she wished she could know what I look like. This is the only time I have ever despised her blindness, because if there were ever a day that I couldn't see her beautiful face, I'm not sure what I would do. I gently grasped her wrists as she cupped my face in her hands. It's the same touch she used to 'see' my face that still takes my breath away.
Her kisses against my breast bone draw me back in.
"Yeah? What do you want to do to me, baby?" I whisper up the column of her throat.
"Make you writhe," she husks out as she bends down and takes my nipple into her mouth.
I look down to see her head is tilted to the side; her curls are swept clear of her neck. "Oh God."
She releases my breast with a giggle, "Actually, it's Santana. But, that works, too."
"I need you more naked, San." I nip at her exposed neck as I reach down to the hem of her shirt. She moans out in pleasure as my fingers graze over her breasts, pulling the shirt off and throwing it to the side.
"I love you," She gasps out as she rests her forehead against mine, stroking my cheek with her thumb. Her left hand is playing with the elastic of my panties.
"I love you, too, so fucking much." I rise up enough to help her pull my underwear down. My muscles flex as my grip on her back and butt tighten. She loosens her legs around my waist long enough for me to lay her back and slip her panties off, but she's back in my lap before I can blink.
I feel those amazing fingers working their way down my abs, and I shiver when her fingertips cup my mound softly. Her lips work the skin near my ear, taking the lobe into her mouth as her fingers slip into my sensitive folds.
"Mm, you're so wet, baby." There's that husky voice that never ends to send a jolt where I need it most.
"Only you can do that to me, beautiful," I whisper against her lips before taking her bottom lip between my teeth.
"Tell me what you need, B." She finds my clitoris so easily, like only she can, and I choke out my request.
"I-Insi-," I manage, but she understands my moan, and teases downward to my entrance.
She slides one finger in, enough stimulation to get me ready for a second finger. Caressing my folds with her thumb, she slips a second finger in. I still can't get over how well she knows my body. She knows which movements create the most pleasure, and at exactly which moments to apply or relieve pressure. She leans down to take my nipple into her mouth as her fingers pick up speed, curling upward on each pump. I can only grip her waist in my hands as my hips start to roll into her thrusts, laying open mouthed kisses to her bare shoulder. I can't suppress the moans that are tumbling out against her skin and she deepens her thrusts, teasing her fingertips against my g-spot. Have mercy, how she knows my body. I feel her arm wrap around my back for support as my thighs quiver under her.
"That's it, baby. Let go," she says breathlessly against my ear as her thrusts quicken even more, and her fingers curl against and tease my spot relentlessly. I can feel myself stiffen and arch, my hips still moving in tight circles. The ball of warmth low in my stomach releases, and her thumb slips against the wetness.
"Oh, baby," I can't help but gasp out as I kiss her neck. My breath comes back to me as I take in her face. She's blushing furiously, and her mound comes in contact with my belly with every circle her hips make.
"Please touch me, baby. Please." She begs and she leans in to kiss me, her arms wrap around my neck as she continues to grind herself against my lap.
"Shh, I'm right here, baby," I try to comfort her frantic movements. Lowering my head to her breast, I take in her nipple and suck gently. I secure my grip around her back and lay her down. Her hips are still making circles, searching for stimulation. I lift my mouth from her breast and kiss a wet path from her chest bone to her belly button. Holding down her hip with one hand, I reach down to spread her folds before licking a hot path from her entrance to her clitoris.
I can hear her satisfied whimpers, but I'm too submerged in everything Santana to encourage her with words. I only trace patterns and words into her folds before taking her clitoris into my mouth. I can feel her wetness seeping onto my chin, and I never want to leave. I release her swollen nub to I trace 'I love you' in her folds before returning to suck gently.
I reach my right hand down to enter her with two fingers, and I let my left hand tickle up to grasp her breast. Her nipple is painfully stiff as I roll it between my fingers. Her scent is overwhelming as she rolls her hips into my face and fingers. I know her body better than I know my own, and I know what her whimpers and sighs mean. Gently scissoring my fingers, I release her clitoris to zigzag my tongue against her folds. By the way her head is thrown back against the sheet, and the beads of sweat rolling toward her collarbone, I can tell this is exactly what she needs.
I tease my fingertips against her g-spot, and flick my tongue rapidly over her clitoris to bring her to her crescendo. A moan rises from her throat as the tendons in her neck strain. I slow my pace as her whimpers lessen and her thighs relax around my shoulders. When she relaxes, I kiss my way up to her mouth.
She releases a content sigh as she curls into my side; her leg rests against my hips. Her left hand comes up to caress the apple of my cheek, and in this moment I've found my saccharinity.