I was living vicariously through my best friend's love story.

I'd always dreamed of finding The One, falling in love, living happily ever after in a little house on the beach.

The mere thought that I used to believe I'd ever been in love with Bella is laughable especially, after I met Renesmee.

I used to pity Quil for having to play the waiting game until his Imprint was old enough, but I didn't understand the depth of their relationship. Now, I knew.

I loved Renesmee more than anyone in the world. For the moment, I was her best friend, the only anchor to normality she had. I could take her out for ice cream during the sunny days, without causing accidents, like the rest of the family would, with their sparkly skin. I allowed her to be a child with me and get me as dirty as she pleased. Of course, the uptight vampires around me had clearly forgotten that children are messy. Even Esme hurried to clean whatever smudge Nessie left on the pristine floors or furniture.

But there were times I longed to have Bella's love story.

I had to wait several more years for that to happen, and then it would be as easy as breathing for us to transit into another level of our relationship.

Until then, I was stuck to watching Bella and Edward.

I'd never imagined I'd look at them being in love and feeling every emotion involving their devotion and love for each other and not feel jealous. But I was happy for her, for them.

I could have chosen to live vicariously through any of the other couples, but they all intimidated me on various levels.

Carlisle and Esme were a big no, no. They were like the parents of this family, despite being only a few years older than us. Well, Esme was a whole decade older than me.

Jasper and Alice had the most intense relationship in the family. With Jasper being able to manipulate her feelings and Alice being able to see the future, they never needed to say anything. They usually had staring contests, gazing deeply into each other's eyes, before leaving the house hand in hand for some alone time in the forest.

Emmett and Blondie were a bigger no, no than Carlisle and Esme, and only because I wanted to hurl when I imagined Blondie naked.

So, that left me with the newlyweds.

I'd seen Bella and Edward through their troubled relationship, from the moment she discovered what he was, how she fell for him, how he broke her heart, how they made up, how their love could withstand any obstacle thrown their way – including myself.

I took my watching to the next level two years into my stay with the family.

We'd recently moved to Vermont.

I'd been an idiot to refuse Emmett's invitation to his and Jasper's hunting trip. They planned an extended one, and it wasn't like I'd have Nessie home if I stayed back. Alice and Rosalie took her to Montreal.

Carlisle and Esme were gone to their island for a much-needed vacation away from everyone.

So, I accompanied Emmett and Jasper to New Hampshire, and from there, they were headed to Mount Washington. To say the least, the trip was an interesting one, but I was excited to leave and get back to normal.

It was early morning when I returned to our new house.

Clearly, Edward and Bella didn't know I was returning.

Fuck. I stopped on the porch, wondering if it was possible to go inside the house without being noticed. They were somewhere downstairs by the sounds of their moaning, and if I witnessed whatever they were doing, it would take my vicarious life to the next level.

I was content with knowing I'd have what they did in a few years, but all those thoughts revolved around the feeling of love and devotion. I'd never dared to think of more because, for now, I didn't see Nessie like that. I knew everything would change when she became a teenager, but the mere idea of kissing her now revolted me. She was a child, my best friend.

And this had taken everyone in the family a long time to understand. Thankfully, Jasper and Edward had my back, promising the two psychos, a.k.a. Bella and Blondie, that I didn't have any impure thoughts or feelings regarding Nessie.

I pushed the door handle as slowly as possible, relying on the fact that they were too distracted to hear me. The fucking door creaked loudly, and I mentally cursed Emmett for not oiling it like he'd promised.

All I wanted was to disappear to my room, put my headphones on, and turn the volume of my music to the max. Because I didn't plan to leave my room soon, I decided to get snacks and soda.

Unfortunately, my senses telling me the happy couple was in the living room were wrong.

I stopped in the kitchen doorway, unsure if I'd ever be able to unsee this scene.

Edward had Bella bent over the sink. They were both still dressed, though it was obvious what they were doing.

Shit. I leaned against the doorframe because as much as watching them was wrong, I couldn't look away.

I was sure, by now, that at least Edward was aware they had an audience.

But I was a sixteen-year-old horny guy who didn't have any action. And I had live, free porn in front of me.

I should have gone to my room without the snacks, but I couldn't make my legs move.

Right when Edward's head turned to me, his eyes wide, reflecting embarrassment and anxiety, Bella arched into him, throwing an arm around his neck, and he immediately returned his focus on her.

One of his hands caressed her chest as he dipped his head to kiss her. His other hand lifted one of her legs, changing the angle he was going into her.

Fuck. My dick was rock hard. This was so fucking wrong.

Bella moaned in a way to put all porn stars to shame. She twisted in Edward's arms, and he pushed her ass into her counter, diving back under her short skirt.

I wouldn't have believed I'd ever act like a peeping tom, yet, here I was, watching my best friend getting fucked into the next week by her husband. And part of me was debating whether I was brave enough to push a hand down my pants.

Edward's clutched the edge of the counter so hard part of it disintegrated. "Get out," he spat, stilling his movement.

Bella gasped, looking at him confused, as her eyes then found mine.

I wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole.

She pressed her face into Edward's shirt, wrapping her limbs tighter around him. He rubbed her back, turning to narrow his eyes at me.

I tripped over my feet as I rushed out of the house, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened.

I didn't stop running until I was deep into the forest behind our house. I knew my not-so-little problem wasn't going away on its own, so I undid my jeans and propped myself with a hand against the trunk of a tree while I rubbed myself.

It felt like the worst release of my life. I couldn't even enjoy it since what had turned me on was so wrong.

I slumped a few feet away from the tree I'd painted in my cum. After buttoning up my jeans, I curled into myself. I'd never be able to face either Bella or Edward. They were probably just as embarrassed, and Edward most likely wanted to murder me.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but it was dark outside when I became aware of footsteps approaching my hiding spot.

Bella crouched in front of me, her cold hands combing through my hair. "Look at me, Jake."

"No," I mumbled petulantly.

"I'm not mad," she said gently. "And neither is Edward. Come on." She rubbed my shoulder reassuringly.

"I'm so sorry," I said to my knees, still not looking at her.

"I should have seen this happening. I told Edward I noticed how lonely you are."

I looked up, meeting her kind, golden eyes. "You expected me to spy on your alone time?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, no," she hedged. "I mean…I noticed the far-away look in your eyes when you were in the same room with us, and we cuddled or kissed."

"You mean, all the time?" I attempted a joke.

"We're not that bad."

I wasn't ready to start an argument with her because they'd happily live attached by the hip if they didn't have parent duties.

Bella took my hands, and thankfully, my body was accustomed to her cold touch. "Look, we understand, like I was saying. I'm not saying it's okay what you did…almost did…but I know how you feel."

I scowled. He'd just fucked her brains out, and she dared to feel compassionate about my state of horniness and loneliness.

She squeezed my fingers. "You have it much easier than I ever did, Jake. When she's old enough for your relationship to be more, you'll both take that step."

"I'm not sure I'm following," I admitted.

"Are you that dense? Don't you remember how Edward used to act? We'd been the same age from the beginning of our relationship. He barely kissed me, let alone allowed me to touch him. You have no idea how frustrating that was."

I laughed, relaxing. She smacked me lightly.

We walked back home slowly, and I couldn't help but comment on her earlier statement. "Sorry to bring it up, but you weren't the same age. Edward's older than your grandparents."

"Jacob!" Bella gasped, shoving me to the side.

I stumbled over my feet, making her laugh. To prove how much she'd changed and how quick her reflexes were, she sprung up, landing on a tree branch when I attempted to shove her back.

I kept trying to get my payback all the way home, but she always dodged me. Edward was waiting in front of the house, watching us curiously. Bella skipped to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist. Her other hand touched his cheek, most likely showing him that we were cool.

He pursed his lips, meeting my eyes. "If you ever do this again, I'll make sure you enjoy solitude for the next century."

"What the fuck?" You can't keep us apart forever; I hissed silently.

"Watch me."

him.

I'm sorry, really, I said as honestly as possible. "I'll be in my room," I mumbled.

"You know, his headphones are soundproof," I heard him say, only for a resounding smack to prove Bella didn't agree with his suggestion.

I knew for sure I was likely to avoid them for the next couple of weeks.