Apparently fanfic didn't push my story back to the top of the update list after i posted the last chapter. What the fuck ff? This has happened to me THRICE

My exposure! :pepehands:

Anyway, this story's running on its last fumes with how things go. As fun as this is to write, i've got like 4-5 other things

I do wanna keep this one going tho. Issei is like Saitama on crack with Freed a B-movie Flashy Flash as his equally deranged partner. So basically 2 Deadpools

PS: Sorella means 'sister' in italian. This'll be often used by Freed

The Dogs of War

[Chapter 3]

||A Severe Lapse of Judgment||

Issei and Freed were not known for their temper. Rather, they were far more reputable as people who would set others' blood on fire and egg them on until that person experienced a cardiac attack due to severe anger and frustration. This had happened once, when they were tasked to eliminate an investor of a certain firm and made it seem like an 'accident'.

But by any means, they were not immune to anger. Especially when some street whore tried to mug one of the extremely select few people they do give a damn about.

"Hey!" Issei shouted, and the Fallen Angel and the exiled Twilight Maiden froze in place to snap their heads towards him. The Fallen Angel whose attire seemed to be missing more than just a few fabric was obviously wasn't trying to just yank his big sister's veil off. This he knew for certain.

"The hell do you think you're doing!" Freed joined in, his Holy Saber — a sword with curved light blade, buzzing in his grip. "If she says 'no' then it's straight up rape!"

"...I-Issei! Freed!"

"Hang in there sister. We'll take down this pervert."

"...Nice bod though."

"She's a crow," Freed said to Issei, annoyed. "If they don't have an hourglass-body then they're a fake."

"Oh yeah, good point."

The Fallen Angel smirked at these brainless brats. They didn't look any younger than her. That damn Exorcist must have missed these stragglers… that, or these brave idiots were the newcomers sent by the church. One guy seemed competent but he was likely another of those meek Exorcists who thought too much of themselves. The other one with the slippers, however… seemed to her to be a moron that didn't know when to run.

Whatever… she'll make a quick mincemeat out of them and deliver this sister to her generous lord and master and leader.

"Playing heroes are we…?" Raynare smiled and stepped away from the Maiden, and conjured her violet violently crackling lightspears into her hands.

Freed raised his eyebrow. "Heroes?

"Hell no. Heroes only get paid in exposure and gratitude, which is basically jack shit," Issei griped. "Remember; morality pays poorly," and war is goddamn profitable. But Issei left out the last half of their motto because their sister was there, and she'd give them an earful if he blurted that.

"Mind your tongue!" Asia briefly scolded, briefly forgetting the danger they were in, before clasping her hands as if to pray. "And please be careful…!"

She gasped as the Fallen Angel lobbed her light-based spears, and was about to scream a big 'NO!' until Issei caught said spears with one hand like he was catching a baseball, while Freed effortlessly deflected the other, sending it spinning in the air, before grabbing it with his left hand.

'Oh fuck,' immediately invaded Raynare's mind once she registered what her eyes just saw, and the quicksand she had gotten herself in.

"Huh…? What's this?" Issei cocked his head to one side, looking absolutely pissed. "Are you trying to gauge our strength by pretending you're fucking weak huh?"

"You know what pisses me the hell off? Cocky assholes like you, jackass."

"Language my dear!"

"C'mon Sister. There's this girl committing indecent exposure, and you're bothered with our usage of curse words?"

"Please try to tone it down…"

"...Alright fine… but only because you asked nicely, and because it's been a while."

"We'll chat later Sis," Issei stated, clenching his fist and severing the lightspear in two, causing it to fizzle out and disappear as he summoned his shiny crimson gauntlet. "Once we absolve her from her sins. With her life."

Raynare proceeded to drop more cold sweat. Her knees felt like jelly, and her arms felt like spaghetti. She could feel vomit in her stomach already. She should have recalled her wings and fly away, but now she was too terrified to even move. That thing was no Twice Critical. She knew Twice Critical at least didn't have that many spikes. That was the Boosted Gear. The real deal. Not to mention that black-haired psycho seemed like he wanted to chop up her body and stow it in a freezer.

She was a goner if she stayed here any longer.

"W-w-wait, w-wait—" she couldn't even say her words straight because of the thick dread in throat. "M-m-maybe we can sort this out without the need of violence… yes? Talk it out as adults would…"

"Oh now you're saying we're not worth your time?!" Issei shouted with anger, and Raynare winced as her hands began to tremble upon witnessing the massive, dangerous, ominous dark aura cloaking him. Did his eyes just glow green? "Alright, lewd lady, you're officially on my shit-list. Effective immediately."

Raynare nearly fainted on the spot. "W-w-we can solve this peacefully…"

"No. I want to do it violently."

Freed then tossed his caught lightspear, and moved his sword-holding hand at a speed that Raynare couldn't comprehend. Before she knew it, the thrown lightspear had been sliced into millions of pieces before bursting harmlessly into dust.

"See that? That's you," Freed whispered with a manic grin, pointing his sword towards her. If there were any bystanders, then they would have thought they were the ones harassing her. Unfortunately for her, the only witness there was the Holy Maiden, and she was clearly more concerned about these two psychopaths than her.

"You picked the wrong sister to mug," Issei added, starting his own devilish grin. "May God have mercy on your soul, because we won't."

Issei spread his dragon wings, ready to propel himself forward, and he was about to, until Raynare blacked out and fell flat on her back.

"Oh dear!" was the last words she heard, coming from the Twilight Maiden.

"Careful now Sis!" Freed warned. "Gotta be a trick!"

"...No dude. I think… I think she's out for the count," Issei muttered quietly as he approached Asia and the Fallen Fainted Angel with apparent carelessness. "Which is what she expects us to think!" Showing mercy or lowering their guards was a mistake learned.

"She fainted," Asia whispered, using her lap to serve as a headrest for the Fallen Angel. "Hmmn… the night air must not have done her any good."

""Oh.""

"We must help her."

"What," was Issei's flat response.

Freed was equally baffled. "She literally tried to kidnap you! …Sisternap? Nun-nap? Whatever— she can't be up to no good, Sorella! I mean, look at her! She looks like she dances around a pole! A lot! And probably get tipped a lot too."

Credit where credit's due after all, and the two hitmen had nothing but praises regarding the Fallen Angel's physical appearance. Alas, looks alone would not tempt them, unless they were only looking for one night entertainment with no strings attached.

"Do not repay evil with evil," Asia reminded, wagging her index finger like she was scolding two rowdy kids. "And I expected better of you to judge the book by its cover."

Issei glanced down. "She might as well be a newspaper."

"In any case… it's so good to see you two," Asia smiled sweetly. So sweet that the two prominent hitmen thought they had contracted type 2 diabetes. "How have you been eating? Well, I'd hope."

"What are you doing here?"

"Erm… it's complicated," replied Issei as a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. "We're uh… 'extending' our reach… networking… y'know… it's like, important to build connections…."

"Ah, spreading the teaching of the Lord? How quaint… Sister Griselda must be very pleased with how you two have grown up to be."

"Hahaha… yeah… totally…" Freed nervously laughed. He was certainly glad Asia wasn't the type to think badly of people. But that was exactly why they must keep this a secret from her. Neither had it in them to break out the news that her two little brothers were cutthroats that served both the light and dark and all the shadows in between.

They feared it would break her heart, and they knew enough that Asia Argento had had enough heartbreaks in her life and not enough luxury. And they were about to earn plenty to share.

Although they had to spit out more bullshit to reject her offer to hug, saying they were a bit sweaty while in truth Issei had a faint lingering scent of blood and visceras. Whereas Freed just didn't like hugs because it made him feel weird and he was not a hugging type.

Asia was quite sad from the rejection, but didn't try to press it. Someone was in need after all.

Break

Carrying the fainted Fallen Angel was no big deal for someone with a pair of gigantic scaly leathery draconic wings on his back, even with a very worried nun clinging on to him. But as that didn't leave much room left for Freed to hang onto - at least not comfortably or not in a humiliating manner -, the formerly white-haired Exorcist now black-haired former Exorcist used it as a reason to collect their pay, stating that he didn't mind walking.

As they departed, Issei learned that while the place Asia was renting was nearer, it was located in the thick of the neighborhood, meaning routine patrols were likely roaming around, and he wasn't going to risk being seen with a semi-naked woman in his arms. Or wings. The wings might be harder to explain, actually.

So he flew to their hideout; their decently-sized house that used to be a spot where children would try and snuck in to see if there were ghosts, chickening out immediately due to its remote location and the nearby 'haunted' shrine.

"Oh, this is where you live? My… it's very spacious," Asia smiled as she peered around. "Have you been eating well? Don't eat too much cup noodles, I hope. Once a week is fine, but it's better if you don't."

"Of course, of course," Issei then used his toes to drag a cushion from under their cheap round table, and lowered the Fallen Angel's head right there as he placed her down. "We just got here today, actually."

"Truly?" Asia perked up, taking out a handkerchief, brought it to the nearby faucet, washed it down and squeezed most of the water out before approaching the barren living room. "Were you sent by the church?"

"...Categorically," Issei replied vaguely, a little bit nervously.

Don't be mistaken. He had absolutely no problem with lying or crafting believable lies — some might say he was born to lie. A natural liar. He could convince a five year old girl with pigtails why giving him her only lollipop was a great idea, and he wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt.

But things got complicated when he had to lie to someone he knew and practically grew up with. He could feel the 'guilt' starting to kick his blackened heart, like a bunch of tiny little green midget goblins repeatedly probing him with thumb-sized pitchforks, chanting 'Shame! Shame!' with a very insulting tone.

Therefore, instead of having to resort to lie, he instead chose to switch the subject.

Yet before he managed to speak, Asia asked him first. "Is it connected with the recent murders…?" she said with a bitter, dejected look. "It's horrible…"

'Ah. Must be connected with the Devils,' he thought.

"So many Priests and Exorcists… so many lives lost. So many ghosts…" she continued sadly.

'Wait what?' Priests? Exorcists? Shouldn't the Devils be okay with that?

"Yeah… very erm… unfortunate…" he said cautiously, feigning sympathy. "Have you always been here, Sis? Or…"

She shook her head as she placed the wet cloth over the Fallen Angel's forehead. Her expression was that of sorrow. "I was… I arrived here recently too. Just yesterday. Two days ago, I mean…" she corrected herself, looking a bit embarrassed as her cheeks flushed lightly. "I received a letter from Father Giuseppe requesting my help. To tend the injured. But when I arrived… he has been murdered."

"..." Issei had no idea who the hell Giuseppe was and felt nothing for him, but he tried his best to look at least concerned to make her feel slightly better. Then something hit him. "...Wait a minute… I thought you were… y'know… E-worded."

"Excommunicated?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. W-well… yes, that is true… but I was never completely abandoned by the Church. There are people, generous people that send me parcels and gifts… In fact, I was given a new cell phone," she smiled proudly as she took out a, to his surprise, a fairly new model of a touchscreen phone. It was certainly newer than his or Freed, but the two never cared enough about these kinds of luxuries.

If it could make calls and text and order food then it was good enough for them.

"I still chat with Sister Griselda from time to time… Among a slew of others…"

"Ah yes. The miracles of the information age."

"...Father Giuseppe was one of them," her smile dimmed slightly.

'...He's a miracle of the information age…?' was the first thing that popped in his mind and kept there because Issei realized it was stupid.

"I was planning to leave after I tidied his things and sent them to… the Church and charities, but… I feel that God has sent me here for a purpose. After all, I never expected to meet the two of you here, no?"

"Ah… but of course, of course…" Issei nodded. Whatever keeps her boat afloat, he thought. He was certainly not here looking for people who wanted to off certain people. Or an entire cult. Those strange robed guys in that church there were sketchy as hell, but hey. More payout for him.

"Speaking of which, have you met Xenovia?"

"I was just about to ask you that."

"So you have!" her eyes light up. "Do you know where she is? I fear she might put herself in trouble with the Overseers here… since… since last I heard, she went rogue a year ago."

'Bit too late for that…' "I've got no idea, Sis. We just said hi. We were both a bit busy at that time… y'know, unpacking our stuffs… buying more stuff… filling our fridge with… stuff… Or at least planning to."

Asia sighed mellowly. "...But you have met the Devils, yes? Regardless of who they are, this is their… ermm… territory," she recalled the term as she continued, "We still have to ask permission from them, yes?"

"Yep. We certainly have," Issei nodded and smiled. "In fact, Freed is probably talking to them right now to fill them with our latest… progress…"

"That's wonderful then," Asia brightly smiled as she clasped her hands. "I'm glad that you didn't let your differences cause strife between you. There are lessons to be learned from them… if only they can see that there are not many differences between them and us..."

"Mhmm. Lessons, yes… very important," Issei just kept on nodding, fighting the urge to add 'lessons and fat stacks of easy friggin' cash.'

"So uh… do you know anyone else around here? Anyone that we should know about? Or… keep an eye around?"

"There is another. I'm not sure if you've heard of her or met her… Her name is Jeanne; her… birth is similar to Freed."

Oh. Another product of genetic engineering. How great. How wonderful Because obviously Freed and Lint were great successes.

"But instead of Sigurd, she has the blood of Joan of Arc. And… the problem with her is—"

It was then Raynare woke up with a groan, causing Issei to actually wince in surprise because he forgot she was there. He even had a hand raised in the air, ready to clock her out again with a solid right hook to the jaw.

"Oh! You're finally awake, thank goodness."

Raynare blinked a few times, before sitting up, and inspected her surroundings as the damp wrapped handkerchief plopped down to her belly, giving her the shivers and an uncomfortable feeling.

"...What the… where the hell…?"

"Hey there. Rise and shine," Issei greeted as if saying good morning to a family member who was sick. "How're you feelin'?"

"...Who…?" Raynare glanced around, still disoriented, uncertain on how she got herself in this dumpy place, and narrowed her eyes upon meeting Issei's disarming hazel brown eyes. "...?"

"Yeah I thought I'd looked too generic. She isn't though," he nudged his head towards the fair blonde maiden next to him. Asia had lowered her black nun veil earlier, letting her hair flow freely down her back. She was beautifully cute, and, unbeknownst to her, she had built up quite a few rumors and admirers from around the town.

Asia kindly waved her hand.

The gears in Raynare's head instantly clicked, and began to feel nauseous as she recalled the moments of their encounter.

"Oh…" she weakly whispered, already feeling beaten and down on her luck. "L-look… I'm just a nobody…"

"Doesn't matter" Issei grinned like he was up to no good. "I'm gonna ask you some questions and you will answer all of them. Don't. Lie. Unless you want to be set on fire."

Asia smiled through all that, mistaking Issei's threat as a rewording of a playground rhyme. Raynare, however, was wallowing in deep regret for ever deciding to leave her house this early.

"...Alright…"

"Good, good," Issei nodded, pleased that the girl wasn't trying to fight. It seemed he had severely overestimated her earlier. He thought she was different from the others since her outfit was the sluttiest of them all. "First of; the hell were you doing? What do you want from her?"

"...Her Sacred Gear…" Raynare sighed defeatedly.

"Details," he groaned as a venomous green light covered his left arm, leaving the Boosted Gear in its wake. A rather effective method of intimidation for people who understood the implication behind it.

"Oh! Hello Ddraig."

"Howdy," came a voice from the glowing green orb of the Boosted Gear. "It's good to see you are well, Sister Asia."

"Likewise. Thank you for always looking after him."

"My choices aren't exactly broad, but you are welcome."

"Hey, save the niceties for later. I'm interviewing here."

"Oh- yes. I'm sorry."

"Now then. Answer."

Raynare stiffened and avoided eye contact, cursing her luck inwardly. "W-we're planning to… to…" she fumbled through her lexicon, desperately searching for a word that might lessen the ugliness of the truth. "...extract it from her."

Issei furrowed his eyebrows. "...You can do that?"

In his mind ran six digits deals as he pictured him and Freed handing over some sucker's Sacred Gear to a generous buyer or collector. In his mind, a pathway to a new kind of ridiculously profitable business had been laid before him.

"Y-yes…" Raynare muttered.

"Okay. How?"

This was the time where Raynare began to sweat head to her toes. "W-well… there's a… certain ritual you have to go through first… which… erm… might require some sacrifices…"

'Balls,' lamented Issei. He really wished it was just as simple as nabbing them away from the holders.

"...Hold on a minute, so you're telling me," his voice darkened as his eyes narrowed viciously. "...you weren't only going to kidnap her, but you're also going to kill her? Is that right?"

"W-well I'm not the one who's going to do the killing."

"You're still an accomplice you jacka—" Issei briefly glanced at a concerned Asia, "—lope."

Raynare was shivering then. Which shouldn't be much of a surprise considering her poor choice of nightwear since it was colder than usual that night despite summer was creeping around the corner. But it wasn't the cold that bothered her, but the very transparent possibility of her losing a life.

"I'm sorry. Please don't kill me."

"Oh don't worry dear. No harm is done. You won't hurt her, will you Issei?"

"...Well…" He should be more surprised, but he somehow wasn't as it was Asia who asked. Obviously he had to kill her. The girl had not only attempted to take his sister's life, she also had learned of his real name and he wasn't going to gamble whether his name was a common one in this country.

"Issei," the nun resaid, adding some pressure in her soft, airy soprano. "She's no longer a threat and she is cooperating with you."

"Sh-she's right, see?" Raynare gulped. It was ridiculous that her target had become her only way out, but she wasn't going to complain. "I-I won't— you won't see or hear anything from me again after this."

"Oh I can assure that without needing you to make any promises," Issei smiled, draining the color from her face.

"Issei. We are not savages in a lawless land."

"...Yes, Sis…" he sighed. "But if she tries anything funny, I'll have to hang her upside down and beat her with a stick for misusing our trust. Unless she's into that thing, in which case I'll just improvise."

"Hmmn… Sister Griselda does mention that certain people require different methods… Some of the kids won't learn if they don't get punished... If you believe that is what it takes for her to repent, then… I suppose it is how it must be."

"That's all I needed to hear Sis."

Raynare did not like the general vibe of his grin. He was absolutely going to kill her the moment she was outside the Sister's sight. A mad dog that wouldn't hesitate to hound her if he wasn't leashed.

Her heart slammed against her chest. Beating quicker and quicker as dread grew heavy in her heart. So much so that Issei could hear them thumping. He was actually starting to feel kinda bad for her.

Not that he'd show it.

"How did you know she's here?" he then asked.

"I… my contact told me—"

"In details," Issei barked, annoyance quickly erasing his budding pity.

Which caused Raynare to rapid-fire her answer in panic, "He-he's a Priest on our payroll! His first name is Giuseppe— h-he sent for her and has been supplying us with information about anyone the Church sent here!"

'...Giuseppe…? There's like a thousand Giuseppes in Italy…' The name did ring a bell for some unapparent reason, but Issei coudln't pinpoint why. Probably wasn't someone important and just another case of Priest wanting easy money.

"...F-Father Giuseppe…?" Asia muttered in shock.

"A-average height. A bit fat. Clean-shaven, cropped black hair. Doesn't wear glasses. H-he lives- lived in an apartment in the suburbs… That's all I know, I swear!"

"Zip it," Issei demanded, and Raynare clamped her lips. He then glanced at Asia because of her earlier tone, and saw that she looked like someone had just kicked a puppy in front of her and she couldn't do anything but watch. "...Uh… You okay Sis? Was it something she said?!"

Raynare shrieked. "Chill! Chill!"

"No… but… I… Father Giuseppe…? Why…?"

Then Issei remembered why the name was familiar. Asia literally talked about him minutes ago.

"Ohhh… Oh no. Oh man. I'm uh… I'm sorry Sis."

"But… I don't understand… He was a kind man…?"

"He was probably paid more by them than the Church in a year," Issei said. "You! How much did you pay him?"

"F-five million…"

"FIVE MILLION?!" his eyes widened. "In Euros?!"

"...Y-Yen…?"

"Oh. Convert that into Euros. Now."

"B-b-b-but—"

"Nah I'm just messing with ya."

"...Oh… ha… haha… hahaha…" Raynare forced herself to laugh, but her tears started flowing as well instead. "...haha…" she sniffled, and covered her eyes, and wept. "...hah… I really thought you were going to kill me…" another sniffle. "...It's not funny…"

"...O-oi now… hey… C'mon. Don't start crying. If it's crocodile tears then I'm seriously gonna be pissed off."

"Come here dear," Asia rose up, and knelt near the Fallen Angel as she pulled her into her arms. "It's alright. It'll be okay. I think we've asked enough questions for tonight, Issei dear… Let the poor soul rest. She doesn't even look any older than you! How old are you dear?"

"...Twenty…"

"See? She's only a year older. We make silly mistakes when we're young, no? But that's how we grow… by learning the mistakes of our younger selves."

At this, Issei could only sigh. How Sister Asia was capable of putting aside her sorrow and prioritized others above herself was still a mystery to him. A white sheep in a world of ravenous wolves.

"...Alright," he conceded. '...Freed, goddammit, where the hell are you…'

Then he heard his phone ring a brief tune. More like a 'ding' rather than a 'ring'. He got up, kept his eyes on the Fallen Angel as he didn't fully trust her, and nabbed his phone that was located by the only kitchen counter since he left it there before their recon.

It was a text message from an unknown number.

He smiled. All of the night's troubles were wiped away like dust in the wind.

'New funds received. Your assets are safe with us.

This is an automated message. To stop receiving automatic notifications, respond with 'STOP.'

Any payday is a good day. He could practically hear Freed's cackling laughter in the back of his mind.

…

Still, Issei realized he might have to postpone their planned vacation.

Neither him or Freed would ever leave Asia here and get herself killed in the process. Or worse; be converted into a Devil. They knew how crafty Devils were, especially after dealing with their requests of assassinations where they would have to kill in a very specific place.

No. They'd deal with these annoying problems with Priests and Devils, and then leave with her. With the money from the contract, he estimated they should be set for at least a year. Half a year if they splurged carelessly, but that wasn't something he was worried about as they weren't crazy about luxury items.

Yes. That was a good plan. It was simple, straightforward, and therefore good and achievable. The problem would be the execution part.

They should get something nice for her tomorrow, all things considered. She'd be happy to receive, but perhaps they should buy her some new clothes. For her and themselves since time was against them when they were in Italy and they only packed their absolute necessities.

So clothes… and then booze. Lots and lots of booze, to deal with the fact that they couldn't leave Kuoh as soon as they'd hoped, and the possibility of encountering any other kind of bullshit. Perhaps some bounty hunters or the sort. Or someone vengeful towards them. Or a goddamn Dragon for whatever reason.

Eh well. They'll just deal with it one by one. Or bravely bail out.

To be continued…

Alternate title: Raynare Encountered Escaped Asylum Patients

F for Raynare. Can't believe she rolled double 1s in her luck check

What does an older Asia look like? Well just google blonde anime girl nun and convert the artstyle to the old DxD version. That's basically her.

And instead of cockblocking Issei from porking Rias or any girls in DxD, she's now cucking him from killing

Oh joy!
It's actually kinda funny for hitmen being cockblocked from doing their dang job

Jokes aside, I'm actually pr content to have a kind of a big sister character with good morality. Sure Rias can be like that, but she's not exactly nonviolent. Rather than keeping her as a generic occasional harem member #24, she'll be this… sister-motherly figure for the boys.

Basically she's their walking leash, while also being their berserk button.

It's actually thematic; she's that cute dog walker volunteer who walks a pair of pitbulls that have eaten other pitbulls and some poor bastard's baby. Their ears are like bitten off a bit, there's a "MOM" tattoo on their chest, etc. etc.

I think I'll add some characters from other anime/manga. Not much, but I kinda do need some minor characters to serve as bounty hunters and expand the criminal underworld a decent bit. Not John Wick The Continental level, so don't expect too much. This fic isn't that serious and should be easy to swallow ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

First imminent one is Jalter from Fate, because DxD's Jeanne sucks ass

Also fun fact: Issei never asked for Raynare's name for obvious reasons

Uhhhhh review goddammit waaahh wahhh :C
kbai