Hey Guys!

Here is chapter 8.

And what I think has been waited for, it's Edward's POV!

Surprisingly not much hate for Edward as I thought, so hopefully this will clear things up.

In other news, I will be moving house! So please bear with me as it's lots of packing and then changing of Wi-Fi. I do hope to upload next week but won't hold any promises, but will update if and when I can :)

SM owns all things Twilight.

Enjoy!

E POV.

I lay on the bed as I looked up at the ceiling.

The alarm clock flashed 4am, meaning I hadn't slept since getting into bed, which as only three hours ago. I would be up in a few hours anyway so trying to sleep would be pointless. The bed beside me was cold and had been for the past few days.

Bella had left for New York two days ago, without a word. I tried to see her, but she refused to let me into her room. Although I could overrule security, I knew the right thing was to do as she asked. I had completely and utterly fucked up.

I knew I should have been by her side, but I couldn't. I couldn't shake the guilt that ate me up inside. The screaming from Alice that her best friend and sister could be dead because of me was enough to make me feel like everything was my fault. And it was.

I had never really sat back and looked at what me being President would do to Bella. I knew it would be a stressful job and there would threats to our lives, but I never truly took them into consideration. I just wanted to be President of the United States since I was a little boy. It was my dream, and nothing was getting in the way of it.

But I had allowed it to make my wife unhappy. Although she never vocalised her opinions or feelings, I knew deep down this wasn't what she desired, but for me she did it all. I was a tiny bit angry that she felt she couldn't talk to me about these things, but then as Jasper had pointed out, she had, and I just didn't listen.

I'd pushed everything away for this job. My family, friends, wife, children.

My heart ached at the thought of children.

What my Bella must be feeling.

Hearing the news that not only was Bella pregnant but that she had lost it, felt like the world was collapsing around me. I knew then she would never be able to forgive me. I would never be able to forgive myself.

I became President, forcing her to become First Lady and putting her in danger. Although it was me Jacob wanted, he knew the pain it would cause taking away the love of my life. We had pushed children aside for so long and finally it had happened.

Dare I say, not at the best time, but we would have made it work. Somehow, we would have got through it together. But now that was ripped away from us. I don't know how we would recover from this.

Bella would hate me. I hated myself. The loss of child was just too much to bear. Too much pain.

I decided that Bella would be better off without me. That's why when Riley explained to me that Bella wanted to leave for Chicago, I let her go. I knew she needed time away, to heal and process what happened without me. Without the person who put her in this situation. Some may say it is selfish, but why would you want the person who caused you so much pain by your side?

I heard the door creak open. My eyes squinted at the light coming through.

"Edward?" I heard Jasper whisper. I sighed, sitting up so he could see I was awake.

"Come in." I replied. I switched the lamp on at the side of the bed, illuminating the room and Jasper's face.

"What's up?" I asked. If it was Jasper, something must have happened that needed my attention. He was the only person who could tell me how Bella was. Alice and Rose had left to be with her, while Rose refused to tell Emmett anything, Alice would tell Jasper how she was, thus keeping me informed.

Although Alice probably hated my fucking guts, I think she wanted me to know so I could try and do the right thing.

"Alice just called. The girls are planning a little memorial for your baby. I thought you would like to send something?" Jasper said. My heart stuttered at this. A memorial for our baby. A baby that although I never knew existed until I knew was gone, was loved so much.

"That sounds nice. I'll have a think and let you know. Did Alice say how she was?"

He sighed, "Pretty much the same. Won't eat, cries, gets angry. The usual."

This had been every update. She wouldn't eat, she cried all the time, and she was incredibly angry which was understandable. I don't think Alice told her anything that Jasper was saying about me. I knew Jasper had told Alice why I felt unworthy to be by her side, but she hadn't said anything to Bella.

"Do you think I should go?" I asked Jasper. While he may be the closest person to me in my career, I sometimes forgot that Jasper was my brother and would speak to me brother to brother, not President to Chief of Staff.

"Honestly, no. I think you would make it ten times worse. Her anger needs to simmer down. But then you have the worry that the longer you wait, the angrier she gets. It's a lose lose situation." He replied. I understood where he was coming from and although I loathed myself, I wanted to be by her side.

"I can't stand the thought of staring into her eyes and seeing the hurt, betrayal and disgust." I whispered, bowing my head. I felt so fucking ashamed of myself. My family seeing me like the absolute dick I really am.

They always said Bella and I were perfect together. The one to last a lifetime, grow old together, unable to be without each other.

And yet, my wife is on the other side of the country because I put her in danger. In pain because she lost our baby because of me.

"Maybe if you explained she would understand? Tell her how you are feeling. Communication is key in a marriage Edward." Jasper said. I knew what he was saying but he hadn't done anything without understanding Alice's feelings on it all. I just did it because I believed my dreams came first.

"Look, mum and dad are here now. Talk to them. They might be able to help you on this and give you some proper advice." Jasper added. I nodded and slipped back down into the covers.

"I'll clear your schedule for the morning." Jasper patted my shoulder and walked out, leaving me with my thoughts.

"So, are you going to go to Chicago?" My mother asked. Esme and Carlisle have been here since the shooting. They flew out as soon as they heard and have been living with me in the residence ever since. I knew they seen Bella while she was in hospital, but they didn't try to stop her leaving.

"I don't know mom." I sighed. I had conflicting thoughts all night, tossing and turning so I'm running on no sleep at all. Plus, I had another press conference this afternoon. More information was coming forward about what had happened and of course a trial would be looming. Jacob had thankfully been caught a day after the shooting and was going to be severely punished.

"Well, I'm sure the country would understand that you need to be with your wife." She commented. I gave her a look. The tabloids were running riot that Bella had flown to Chicago all by herself. So many headlines, rumours. None the truth though.

"I'm sure they would mom, but I doubt Bella would want me there anyway." I retorted. My father raised an eyebrow at me. I gave him a look but that didn't stop him from saying what I didn't want to hear.

"That's rubbish and you know it. Get on a plane and get to Chicago before she files for divorce. She may be in pain and angry, but she loves you to death." He stated angrily. Sometimes I wasn't sure what he was angry about. The actual situation or the name Cullen being slightly smeared with all the rumours.

"Divorce is the last thing on my mind." I snapped back at him. I stood up and pushed away from the table, unable to hear anymore. I was already swimming in guilt let alone being told that it seemed imaginable that my wife was favouring divorce.

The thought made my stomach churn.

"Edward, sweetheart, we just want to help." My mom said as she followed me into the sitting room. I sighed as I sat down.

"I have the entire world on my shoulders. I have people wondering whether I'm good enough to be President. I have enemies left, right and centre. I have so many questions that are unanswered and above all else, my wife fucking hates me."

Esme sat down next to me and put her hand on my leg, "You don't know if she hates you because you haven't actually spoke to her. Get on a phone or a plane and speak to her. You aren't going to solve anything or know how either of you are until you speak."

"You are the President of the United States. You have a huge voice. You've used it on the people. Now use to talk to your wife." She patted my leg and went back to the dining room to finish her breakfast.

I pulled out my personal phone, looking at the picture of Bella as my screensaver. I pulled up her number, taking a deep breath and dialled it.

Ring… ring… ring… ring...

It went to voicemail. I debated leaving one but decided to hang up instead. Coward.

I dialled another number.

"Jasper, tell them to get Air Force One ready to go." I demanded.

"Chicago?" Jasper replied, I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Chicago." I replied. I hung and went to my room, packing a bag.

My mother was right. I communicated daily with people, gave press conference, kept the world up to date. I needed to communicate with my wife if I wanted to grow old with her. The thought of not having her by my side was worth than death itself.

I needed to win my wife back and going to Chicago was a start. Like everyone said, the population would understand. I would be a far better man, husband, and President with the love of my life by my side.

I just had to hope that I wasn't too late.