AN: A dinner party, a meeting and an answered question.
My thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight who never fails to beta quickly no matter how late I send her the chapter, to Midnight Cougar who, despite how busy she always is, comes through for me time and again, and to ghostreader24 without whom I'd never get my head straight and for challenging my thinking so I dig deep for my words.
I thank every single one of you who leaves a review, follows or favorites this story of mine.
Disclaimer: SM owns it all
Deceit and Destiny Chapter 41
Bella
Rose had been trying to get everyone together for dinner for a while now, and tonight everyone was free. The arrangement was to gather at Alice and Jasper's house, as they were the only ones with a place large enough to have a dinner party.
She wanted us all to get to know each other better, and going to the local bar was too noisy for us to have any real conversation.
Connor was excited to sleep over at Matthew's house, and I didn't envy his mom having the house full of five- and six-year-olds. I dropped him off at around five, returned home to collect my things, then Angela picked me up and we headed over to Jess's where we would all get ready.
Jess had already showered when we arrived, and opened the door in her robe with a towel around her head.
"Come on in, girls," she chanted. "Virgin margaritas in the refrigerator for the two pregnant ladies. I have the real thing," she said, waving around a glass half-full with lemon-colored liquid.
Grabbing a glass each from the kitchen, Angela and I followed Jess upstairs to the main bedroom.
"How have you been?" Angela asked. "Has your blood pressure settled down?"
"I've been good, thanks, and yes, it's settled down. No more dizzy spells or fainting. I'm trying to get more rest, you know? Put my feet up, take a nap, and take a short walk every day. I am feeling much better."
"Thank goodness; you scared me and Sophie last week. You'll have to drop by and prove you're okay as she hasn't stopped asking about you."
"Jess and Didi have been fussing over me at work, too. I feel as if I've been wrapped in bubble-wrap. Mom's been a godsend, picking Connor up from school and keeping him with her a little longer every day. She even feeds him and brings me dinner, so I don't even have to cook every day." I laughed and shrugged. "Honestly, although it gives me time to get home and put my feet up for a while, I'm ready to go it alone now."
"We all just want to take care of you, Bella," Jess said, resting her hand over the swell of my baby bump. "All of us can't wait to meet this little one."
I smiled and put my hand over hers. "Where's Mike, by the way?" I asked.
"He's gone out to get some wine to take with us, before he picks up Ben."
"I'm taking a shower," Angela said, heading for the bathroom. "Didn't have time before the sitter arrived."
"Towels are in the bathroom on the shelf, and help yourself to shampoo or body wash as you want."
Jess waved her hand in the direction of the en suite, then dragged the towel off her head, turning it upside down to shake it out.
"Can you pass me my brush, please, Bella?"
After I'd done as she asked, I pulled both the dresses I'd brought out of the garment bag.
"Wow, they're beautiful," Jess said as she came up behind me. "Why two, though?"
"I already had one, but I'm almost seventeen weeks now, and my bump is beginning to show. I wasn't sure if I should wear the blue sheath one that'll definitely show it, or the other one which will kind of hide it."
Jess hung them side-by-side on the closet door. The one I already owned was dark blue, almost navy, with long sleeves and a scoop neck, but it was a fitted dress and would definitely show my bump. I loved the velvety feel of it and it was slightly glamorous with a soft sparkle to the fabric.
The other was also blue, with elbow-length sleeves. It had a V-neck that would definitely show off the extra bust I'd developed, but my baby bump would be hidden in the flowing skirt.
"You know Edward won't have eyes for anyone but you, don't you, Bella?" Jess said. "And I don't think what you wear will make the slightest difference. They're both nice, but personally, I'd go with the fitted one; be proud of your bump. It's his bump, too."
I sighed. "I don't know, but every time I see him, he's walking away or in a snit. I tried to ask him to talk to me when I was at the hospital, but he ignored my question. I need to talk to him, to tell him about the baby and assure him I never meant to keep it from him. But how can I do that if he won't even stop and talk to me?"
"Does Rose know?" Jess wanted to know. "About the baby?"
"What? That the baby's Edward's?" I shook my head. "There are enough people who know the truth, and I didn't want anyone else to find out until I'd spoken to him."
The bathroom door opened, letting out a billow of steam as Angela stepped out. "All yours, Bella," she said.
I had already washed my hair this morning, so I showered quickly, brushed my teeth, and moisturised my skin, paying attention to the small swell between my hip bones. I was lucky I didn't have many stretch marks from when I was pregnant with Connor, and those had faded to faint silvery lines. I mused that either Edward hadn't seen them when we were caught up in each other, or was too polite to mention them.
Back in the bedroom, Jess had already put her hair up in a high ponytail and was just putting the final touches to her makeup before slipping into a cream silk dress.
"I don't think I've seen that one before. Is it new?" I asked. "It's beautiful."
"Yep, it was a treat from Mike. He bought it for me when we spent your birthday weekend in Seattle."
"He's so good to you; I'm almost jealous," said Angela.
Her purple wrap dress was looser than mine since she was two weeks farther along. It was hanging on the closet door while she finished straightening her hair.
"Are you wearing your hair up or down, Bella?" Jess asked. "Do you need me to help?"
"No, I'm all good, thanks," I said. "I'm going to leave it down and curly, and hopefully, being indoors all evening will prevent it from frizzing up like it usually does when it's damp outside."
I decided to take Jess's advice and dress for me, slipping into the dark blue fitted dress. The new one would be useful when the bump was larger, although I generally lived in leggings and oversized T-shirts when I was at home.
"That dress does look good on you. It doesn't look as if you've put on an ounce; it's all baby," Angela said. "I've put it on everywhere."
"No you haven't," I scoffed. "You're positively glowing."
"You both look fabulous," Jess interrupted. "Edward won't know what's hit him, Bella. You look absolutely gorgeous. Maybe you can dazzle him into agreeing to meet you somewhere to have that talk? He hasn't made it easy, has he?" she said sympathetically.
"Definitely not," I answered wryly. "And it's me who's the dazzled one. Twice, I've had the opportunity to speak to him and neither time have I managed to be coherent. The third one doesn't count; I was too busy worrying about the baby."
"You can be forgiven for the first time, Bella. There was a lot going on, and by the time everything had calmed down, Edward had left the hospital. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"I don't want to make his life difficult, Jess, but he needs to know, and I need to know if he wants to be involved or not."
"Well, if you need someone to tie him down, I'm your man—or woman. Come on, the boys are probably getting fed up with waiting."
She led the way downstairs where Mike and Ben were indeed waiting, and after last-minute hair and teeth checking—Jess making sure she had no lipstick on her teeth—we made our way outside to the cars.
After a short discussion, Mike and Jess drove together, with Mike gallantly telling Jess that if she wanted to drink, he'd be designated driver, while I rode with Angela and Ben.
Alice and Jasper lived in a large house at the end of a cul-de-sac on the outskirts of Port Angeles, the drive taking us about fifteen minutes. It looked as if Rose, Emmett, and Edward were already there with three cars parked in the drive and at the curb.
I recognized Edward's car, and Ben pulled up behind it, Mike and Jess parking just behind us. Ben helped Angela out of the car, then me, holding an arm out to each of us. I took a deep breath, and we set off up the path toward the front door.
Before I could prepare myself, the door was opened by Jasper. "Hey guys, come on in, welcome to our home."
Because I was here without a partner, Jasper helped me off with my jacket and hooked my arm in the crook of his elbow to lead me into the living room.
Rose and Emmett were standing over by the window talking to Edward. While his attention was on the two of them, my eyes drank in his frame. Dressed in black slacks that hugged his body with an open-necked black shirt tucked into the waistband, he looked as if he'd stepped out of the pages of GQ.
His hair was as untamed as always, and selfishly I hoped it was because he'd run his fingers nervously through it at the thought of the two of us being in the same room. I had to admit I was nervous, too, but while he wasn't aware of my gaze, I let my eyes travel freely over him.
"Bella." Rose caught my eye and called my name, beckoning me over to where she stood. "You're looking well. I love that dress on you; it really shows off your baby bump."
Edward turned, his eyes falling on me, soft and mossy green, and held my gaze before his eyes dropped to the bump, clearly visible. For a few moments, I was unable to look away until Jasper's voice reminded me I wasn't alone.
"What would you like to drink? We have wine or beer, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, or I can mix something for you?"
"Can I have a soda water with lime, please, Jazz?"
"Oh, that's right; you're expecting a baby, aren't you?"
I nodded, giving him a small smile, aware of Edward listening.
"I'll have one, too, thanks Jazz." Angela appeared beside me, linking her arm through mine.
Jasper gave us both a beaming smile and headed toward the bar. I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face, then Angela and I walked over to Rose.
"Hi, Rose." I leaned forward and hugged her.
Emmett pulled me into his side and practically lifted me off the floor one-handed. "Bella," he exclaimed. "I see your black eyes are finally gone. How are you feeling?"
"I'm good, thanks, Emmett. It's been over a month now, so I'm back to full health."
"Bella," Rose said, "I heard you've met Edward, though from what I understand, you weren't at your best after your car accident. Let me introduce you properly. Edward, this is Bella Black, someone who's becoming a good friend, and Bella, this is my stepbrother, Edward Cullen."
Stiffly, Edward held out his hand, and I placed mine in his. Warmth and tingles spread from where the palms of our hands met, traveling up my arm and through my body. He showed no signs of having felt the same, and quickly dropped mine after nodding to me.
Rose looked at him quizzically but shrugged lightly, changing the subject to the baby and leaving Edward and Emmett to drift away, talking about sports.
Jasper brought over drinks for Angela and me, and inevitably, the men gravitated toward each other while the women took seats. Alice popped her head around the door not long after we arrived to say hello.
"Hi, everyone. Dinner will be around thirty minutes, okay?"
I stood, heading toward her. "Is there anything I can do to help, Alice?" I asked.
"No, the meal's all under control, I think, but thanks, Bella. You can come and talk to me in the kitchen, if you like. Rose, Ang, Jess?"
I could feel Edward's eyes on me as we followed Alice into the kitchen, helping her by finishing setting the table, which already had a white tablecloth and placemats set out.
Alice arranged the starters on a platter, giving them to Rose to place in the middle of the table, and handed two large bowls of salad to Ang.
Turning to me, she spoke. "I didn't realize Rose's brother, Edward, was the same Edward you met in L.A., Bella."
"What?" Rose whirled around. "You know Edward already? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you tell me you recognized him in L.A., Alice?"
Rose and I spoke at the same time.
"That's because I didn't," Alice said. "He and Jazz have known each other since before medical school, but he'd left for San Francisco before I met my Jazz." Alice shrugged. "He couldn't make it to the wedding, and until he moved here, I'd never met him face-to-face."
"Bella?" Rose repeated.
"We spent a little time together when Jess, Angela, Alice, and I went on vacation earlier in the summer. We never really got to know each other."
It was my turn to shrug, and I turned away pretending to straighten the flatware on the table to hide the blush that I was sure was flooding my face.
"As if Edward 'sleeping'"—Alice held up her hands to make air quotes—"in your room at the hotel doesn't constitute knowing him," she scoffed. "You and he were so into each other, Bella. I'm not surprised you're divorcing Jake after meeting Edward."
"Alice!" Angela gasped.
Alice kept talking despite the outraged tone of Angela's voice. I couldn't bring myself to turn around and face them. Jess was the only one who truly knew what had happened between Edward and me, and she wouldn't have told anyone. Alice had put two and two together, and unknowingly had come up with the right answer.
"Oh, I wasn't saying you shouldn't divorce Jake, Bella," Alice back-peddled. "I just meant that Edward and you seemed so good together, and it must have really opened your eyes. Now you know what a real man can do for you. I didn't mean anything by it, Bella."
"You slept with Edward?" Rose exclaimed. "When did that happen? Why on earth didn't you say anything? I would never judge you. I thought we were becoming friends."
"We are, Rose. I-I just couldn't—" I turned at a sound behind me to find Edward in the doorway. I swallowed a sob and brushed past him, leaving the room, almost running, as I looked for a restroom.
Finding one down the hallway, I slammed the door shut behind me, leaned against it to steady myself, and closed my eyes, tears leaking from under my eyelids. I was mortified to have lost it so thoroughly, and in front of Edward.
Blinking, I dashed them away, using the facilities, then splashing my face with water. I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink, wondering how the heck I'd made such a mess of things. I'd been level-headed all my life, yet since I'd met Edward, everything was chaotic and topsy-turvy.
A light knock on the door startled me, and a soft voice came from the other side.
"Bella? Do you want to get out of here?"
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door a couple of inches. "Jess?"
Pushing open the door a bit wider, she slipped inside. I choked on a sob and covered my face with my hands.
"Shit, Bella. Don't cry! It'll be okay." Jess pulled me into a hug. "Come on, I'll drive you home."
I grabbed some tissues, wiped my eyes, and blew my nose. "What about Mike?" I asked.
"It's fine. Mike said he'd hitch a lift with Ben a bit later."
Outside the bathroom, Rose waited, looking distressed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you. Are you all right?"
"Thanks, Rose. My emotions are just really close to the surface right now, and it doesn't take much to set me off. You did nothing wrong. I'll be fine; I just need to go home."
"Okay," she said. "But if you want to talk, please don't hesitate to call me. I don't tell my brother everything, so whatever you say to me will stay with me. I promise."
I nodded and followed Jess outside, slipping into the passenger seat of their car when she unlocked the door. I grimaced at how much of a spectacle I'd made of myself, and made a promise to apologize to Alice and Jasper tomorrow for ruining their evening.
As if she could read my mind, Rose tapped on the window. Lowering it, she poked her head inside. "Don't worry, Bella. Everyone, except us girls and Edward, thinks you're not feeling well. It'll be all right."
I nodded, thanking her. She was fast becoming another very good friend.
"I'll call you soon, Rose, and explain everything."
In my head, I qualified that with "as soon as I've told your brother everything."
The car was quiet all the way from Alice's house to mine. Jess drew up at the curb and switched off the engine, turning to me.
"Do you want me to come in? I can stay for a while or even all night, if you need me to."
I nodded. "For a little while, yes. I'd like the company."
Pushing open the car door, I climbed out, walking up the pathway to the front door with Jess following me. Unlocking the door, I switched on the hall light and kicked off my shoes, hanging up my jacket. I felt kind of numb and a little fuzzy-headed, as if I'd had a couple of drinks too many.
"I'll make you some tea, Bella. Go and sit down," Jess said, as she hung up her jacket and headed for the kitchen.
"Thanks. I'm going to get changed first."
Making my way upstairs, I could feel the exhaustion stealing over me. It had been a very emotional evening and I hadn't realized how seeing Edward would make me feel. I changed into a pair of sleep pants and a T-shirt, slipping my robe over the top, and my feet into thick fluffy socks, then cleaned off my makeup.
Downstairs, Jess had put two cups of hot tea on the coffee table and was sitting with her feet under her on the sofa, waiting for me.
"Better?" she asked.
I nodded. "Tired, though," I said, leaning back.
"I'm not surprised. Seeing Edward like that was more difficult than you expected, wasn't it?"
"It was." I blew out the breath I was holding and leaned forward to pick up my cup. "Damnit, Jess, all I want to do is talk to him and explain. Every time I see him, either I'm crying or he's running away. It's so fucking frustrating."
We were quiet, drinking our tea for a few minutes. Jess broke the silence.
"I know you didn't want to ask Rose before, but now she knows about you and Edward, maybe she can help. Get him to agree to meet you?"
I shrugged, thinking that maybe it was time. Before I could tell Jess my thoughts, there was a knock at the front door. I checked the time, seeing it was after ten.
"Who the heck can that be at this time?" I wondered.
Putting down my cup on the coffee table, I made my way to the front door.
Opening it, my gaze landed on Edward, standing back on the top step of the porch. I gasped, and my eyes widened in shock. I felt light-headed as my heart rate increased and my breathing sped up.
"Ed . . . Edward?" I stuttered. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk," he said stiffly. "Can I come in?"
Wordlessly, I opened the door wider and moved to one side to give him room to step through the doorway and into my house.
He stood still, looking at the floor, while I pushed the door shut.
"Who was it . . . ?" Jess came to a halt in the living room doorway. "Oh, my goodness . . . hi, Edward."
I couldn't take my eyes from his face, watching as a fleeting smile appeared. "Hi, Jessica," he said quietly.
Jess's eyes flicked from him to me. "Um, I'll be going then, Bella. Unless you want me to stay?"
I shook my head. "No, thanks. It's fine," I answered.
"Okay." She nodded.
Edward and I watched in silence as Jess slipped on her jacket, each of us avoiding the other's gaze.
Opening the door, Jess murmured, "Call me, tomorrow, okay? Or later if you need me?"
I nodded, closing it quietly behind her as she left. I turned, and for a second, I leaned back against the door and looked directly at Edward for the first time this evening.
There were a thousand miles between us, and I had no idea how to bridge the gap.
"Do . . . would you like a drink?" I stuttered.
Edward shook his head.
I took a shaky breath, my legs feeling unsteady. Willing my nervousness away, I stepped toward him, close enough to reach out and touch him. Instead, it was he who touched me.
"Is it mine?" he asked hoarsely. His hand gripped my arm. His eyes were fixed on mine. "Is. It. Mine?" he repeated.
Unable to speak around the sudden lump in my throat, I just nodded. He slumped against the wall, letting my arm go. His hands went straight to his hair, his fingers making it stand up on end.
"Fuck, Bella! Why?"
He paced to the front door, linking his hands behind his neck, then walked back in my direction, breathing heavily.
Why what?
I didn't understand his question, but I hoped now he was here, I would finally have a chance to explain.
"Why don't we go through to the living room and we can talk?" I said.
He stopped in front of me, his eyes capturing mine.
"I have so many questions, Bella, and no idea where to start. I need some time to think."
Turning abruptly, he opened the door and stepped outside.
"Edward." The word came out in a sob. "Don't go, please," I begged.
He stopped, but didn't turn back to face me, and I had to strain to hear his words.
"Tomorrow," he said. "I'll come back tomorrow."
I could only hope he wouldn't have second thoughts as I watched him hurry down the path, climb into his car, and then he was gone.
~ oOo ~