1 November 1981
It wasn't until mid-afternoon on the first of November that Remus finally made it to his cottage in Yorkshire. He was in a daze. His night had begun with innocent drinks with his best friends and had culminated in clutching Dora's dead body. The night had brought terrible news.
Sirius was in Ministry custody for having killed six Death Eaters. While not inherently wrong, according to Moody's judgment, Aurors weren't supposed to kill first and ask questions later. He would be under investigation until punishment was given for his rash actions. Remus visited Sirius briefly that morning, having found him in a catatonic state. He kept muttering "I killed them" under his breath. Remus suspected a mental breakdown, and was unable to speak to his friend in any coherent manner.
James and Lily were both dead. James had been killed just after the attack on little Tonks. James died in front of his son, who was none the wiser. Sirius had seen James fall dead, and before he could stop Voldemort, the Dark Lord had made an attempt on Harry's life – which had failed.
It was then that Severus' account filled in the gaps in the story. Severus brought Lily from her safe place, only for her to be killed by Bellatrix Lestrange. Sirius' rage had snapped, and he killed Bellatrix on the spot. Severus was also in Ministry custody, as well as every other soul found with a Dark Mark anywhere near the Potters' residence. Remus would be testifying on Severus' behalf later that month.
Harry Potter was now with the Tonkses, in some curious twist of fate. Harry's godparents – Sirius and Dora – were no longer able to care for him. Dora's will had been found suspiciously quickly, and it stated clearly that Harry should grow up with the Tonkses should Sirius or Dora be unavailable. Dumbledore found it puzzling, and attempted to find the Dursleys, Lily's family. They were mysteriously missing from Britain, and so Harry Potter was now in the Tonkses' care.
Remus knew he should visit St. Mungo's, where little Tonks was currently comatose. The thought that she might grow up to be the dead woman he loved made Remus howl with pain, and so he avoided the hospital for now. He would eventually find a way to see them, if he could ever manage his grief.
Remus stepped into his semi-derelict cottage, stepping loudly on the floorboards. The sound was different than before. The floorboards once had a hollow quality about them. Now, there was a distinct muffled sound beneath his feet.
He lifted a floorboard, to find a satchel and an envelope with his name written on it, in Dora's hand. His heart skipped a beat, wondering what she had left him, and why.
Remus tore the envelope open, and pulled out a thickly folded piece of parchment. He opened it to read.
My dear Remus,
If you're reading this letter, I am dead. I am sorry for dying, and I hope this letter brings you some closure.
I once promised I'd be as honest with you as I could, and now that I'm dead, I no longer have an Unbreakable Vow holding me back. Please forgive me for what I have to share with you, but if you don't forgive me, I suppose it won't matter to me. I'm dead, right?
The witch you knew as Pandora Black never really existed. That was a name I gave myself, with the help of my Uncle Alphard, and the sweet Scamander family. Dora Black never existed, but Nymphadora Tonks did (and hopefully still does, if my gamble paid off).
Perhaps you had your suspicions – I could sometimes see them in your mind, but as you never asked, I never said anything. I couldn't have, anyway.
My name never was Pandora Rosemary Black. My name is, was, and will be Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks. I was born on 5 November 1971. I also suffered a terrible accident at the Department of Mysteries at one point in my life, which sent me back in time to the day I was born. Yes, Remus, I woke up on the day of my birth to find my world had fallen apart. The time I came from was so different than the time I stumbled into.
I loved you from the start. In my time, I knew you as an adult. You were such a charming lad, and I had to keep you at arm's length due to our age difference and the knowledge I had. Please know I never wanted to hurt you. From 1971 till now I only ever worked to prevent the suffering I knew in my time. You were always at the forefront of my efforts.
I'm dead now, if you're reading this letter. Hopefully little me – little Tonks – is very much alive. She and I are the same, in so many ways. If I've done my job correctly, she won't grow up to be Pandora Black. If I did everything right, Nymphadora will only ever be Tonks, the truest Tonks. She'll be who I wanted to be for years before I dabbled in Dark magic for the sake of saving you all. She'll be who I've wanted to be, but couldn't. She won't become Dora, because Dora can't – and shouldn't – come back. This is why I'm not giving you the date of my departure, or my age at the time of departure, or your age when I knew you. I can't and won't be sent back in time again. If I'm sent back in time again, the timeline will reset, and every memory you have of Dora will be gone forever. Every bit of work I've put into building a better future will have been wasted.
I know this, because there was another version of myself that did this experiment before I did. She left me a letter, and taught me that time travel is not the way to fix things. I worked hard to make sure that little Nymphadora would never be put in the same position as I was. She'll never be Dora – at least, not the Dora you knew. She'll be happier, I hope, and less burdened by the world.
I am sorry about all this. I took Dora away from you and left you. I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but the fates weren't on my side. (Were they ever, I wonder?)
Dora was real in as many ways as I could make her. The Dora you knew loved you, across all times. The Dora you knew was very much related to the Black family, and loved her cousins. She had once been an Auror, preaching the gospel of "constant vigilance" with Mad-Eye Moody, and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. The Dora you knew was once a little, clumsy Metamorphmagus who had an unhealthy obsession with a stuffed toy wolf. The Dora you knew wanted only the best for you. I'm gone now, and I want you to find happiness. You no longer need to wait for me.
I wish you a wonderful life, Remus. You deserve it. I've left my savings to you in the satchel. Please don't refuse the gold. Nymphadora Tonks is the sole benefactor of two massive vaults at Gringotts. She'll want for nothing. I don't you to want for anything, either.
Please forgive me, Remus. I was only ever trying to make a better world for you and our friends. I'll love you, no matter where I am, or who I am.
Love always,
N. "Dora" Tonks
P.S. The moonstone ring you gave me is now with little Tonks. I thought it would give her strength, in case I died in front of her. If you read this letter…she'll need all the strength she can get.
P.P.S. Dumbledore knew I was a time traveler. I left letters for him, Sirius, my mother (Andromeda), and the Scamanders.
Remus' hands trembled as he held the letter from Dora. He and Sirius were right, after all. Dora was Tonks; Tonks would be Dora. According to the letter, the Tonks that existed now would never be Dora. The Dora he had known was gone forever, leaving behind a brokenhearted, penniless werewolf.
No, that's not right, Remus thought grimly. He gingerly opened the satchel, finding a note atop that listed the staggering amount of gold: 15,000 Galleons. Remus' breath hitched as he realized how much Dora had saved, with the obvious intention of leaving her savings for himand him only.
He tossed the satchel aside. He didn't want gold. He wanted Dora. She said she never really existed, but she did. She was his; he was hers. The woman he loved had once been the child he knew, but the child would never become the woman. Remus' heart ached, the raw grief spilling over again. He had never felt worse.
….
2 November 1981
"Terrible business, just terrible," Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge said, shaking his head at Dumbledore. Albus was decidedly unamused by the Minister. Terrible was not strong enough a word for just how devastating and catastrophic the events of the weekend had been.
"I agree," Albus replied evenly. "I plan to return to their home to see if there is anything I can salvage for young Mr. Potter."
"Who is caring for him? As Minister for Magic I believe I have the right to know of his whereabouts," Fudge said, smirking proudly.
Albus' temper had been tested more than once in the last few days, and Fudge was a snide comment away from being scorched by Fawkes in his next rebirth.
"Mr. Potter is in safe hands," Albus replied. "He has been placed in the care of the Potters' family friends for the time being, until his legal guardians can be found. Lily Potter had a sister, and we are trying to locate her."
"You don't think You-Know-Who killed them?" Fudge asked, wide-eyed. "Another Muggle attack?"
"I do not suspect foul play, Cornelius. However, I must go to the Potters' home while I can. If you'll excuse me."
Fudge was unhappy with the turn of events, but shuffled out of the Floo, back to the Ministry. Albus followed in his wake, taking the Floo to the Hog's Head, and emerging from the fireplace with soot on his black robes.
"Albus." Aberforth said flatly. "I see you've failed another young woman."
"Please don't," Albus said, pained. "Not today."
"She probably trusted you, too," Aberforth seethed. "Another young woman, dead, under your watch."
"I'm not…please, Ab. Not now." Albus felt the weight of his brother's accusations on his shoulders. If he had been less naïve, less hopeful that Peter Pettigrew would not betray his friends, several more lives could've been saved. He had chosen to see the good in Peter, and his naivete had cost lives.
Albus walked out of the Hog's Head in solemn silence, and Apparated to Godric's Hollow, searching for clues of Voldemort. He had yet to believe that Voldemort was truly gone, should Dora's memories serve as indications. In her first timeline, Voldemort had created an accidental horcrux in Harry Potter, but she hadn't known where Voldemort had gone.
The Potter home was in ruins. The only space with any semblance of order was the room where James and Dora had died. Albus went up, eyes welling with tears at the proof of his failure. Dora had warned him – and she had paid the price for his hubris. He cast spells to find any traces of magic or persons, and found a bit of residual magic on the floor near what had been Harry's crib.
With a careful eye, and on his timeworn hands and knees, Albus found three squares of parchment swept underneath the crib. To his surprise, they were labeled with three names. Albus, Andromeda, Sirius.
With a heavy sigh, Albus realized that Dora had planned for her death. Just days before, she had written to him to let him know that she would be in charge of the situation. She fixed what he couldn't. He was certain of it, before he even attempted to open the letter addressed to him.
Albus disillusioned himself, and sat on the remains of the scorched, bloodied floor. He opened the letter, and read.
Dear Albus,
I'm dead, but you know that by now. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this letter. I've written 'happier' letters to the others, as they don't know as much as you do. I left a letter for Remus at his cottage, and the other two letters for my family, both original and adoptive. If you've found them, please send the letters along to those they belong to.
There's some information you need to know, especially regarding Harry Potter. Let me tell you what I did to avoid the mistakes of the past.
If Lily and James lived (if they didn't, I will be very angry, even from the grave), then Harry will be returned to his parents and will not be an orphan. Little Tonks will continue living her life, and will have served as a "double" anchor for Harry's blood protection, which is why I needed her there with me. Allow me to explain.
I concocted a Blood Binding Potion and united the blood of Dora, little Tonks, and Harry Potter together. We each will have consumed a vial of the Blood Binding Potion by the end of the night. Dark magic, perhaps, but necessary. My life was sacrificed for Harry's. Harry and little Tonks should be bound together, as I bound myself to them. My sacrifice should have saved them both.
I hope that Voldemort's soul didn't split as it did in my original timeline. I attempted to imbue additional protections on both little Tonks and Harry through the Blood Binding Potion, to prevent any other magic or life tainting theirs. It was highly experimental magic, having never been necessary before. I do hope it worked.
I did a little bit more experimental magic on little Tonks. I did a Blood Magic ritual with the two of us that should have weakened me considerably, but given her more strength. I was terrified that after Voldemort tried to kill me, that he would be successful in killing little Tonks. I couldn't do that to my mother, or to her.
I gave her some of my magic and life. It works similarly to a horcrux, actually, but is based in love, rather than splitting one's soul. Spending years in the Love Room allowed me to see that life could be created, given, and sustained through love. I took all the love I could muster, and with some highly volatile and experimental magic, I shared it with little Tonks through cuts in our palms. I gave her my love, magic, and life. As it was so experimental, I have no way of knowing if she'll have inherited any of my own magical skills or abilities, or even my memories. Try to warn Andromeda if you see or hear anything suspicious. I'll give her a rather vague notion of what to expect. If little Tonks survives, then having her share the same blood as me, Dora, and Harry, will give Harry so much blood magic protection. He shouldn't go anywhere else. Allow me to explain that as well.
The Dursleys aren't in Britain anymore. I arranged for them to move away months ago. I shan't tell you where they are. Anyway, it shouldn't matter. If I'm correct, Lily didn't sacrifice her life for Harry, thus ending whatever need Harry needs for his maternal family. Believe me when I say this is for the best. The Harry I knew who grew up in the shadows of the Dursleys was treated no better than a house elf. He slept in a fucking cupboard under the stairs for the first eleven years of his life. I can't believe you let that happen, or if you were even aware of that. I kept that to myself, in the hopes of outsmarting you this time around. Harry shouldn't go to the Dursleys. It would be pointless.
If James and Lily died, the Blood Binding Potion connected Harry to the Black-Tonks household. You are welcome to seal the blood protection charm now that I'm dead. The blood flowing in Harry and little Tonks' blood is related to mine, and therefore that of the Blacks and Tonkses. With little Tonks also sharing Harry's blood, they are tied to each other and will provide mutual protection. They are, in many ways, tied as if they'd been born to the same parents. Harry's going to be safest with the Tonkses, and I know my mother will care for him like her own. He'll be loved there.
If my plans worked, then James and Lily should have lived. I will have kept them both far away from Godric's Hollow. I sent Lily to be with Severus, and James to be with his Marauder friends. My parents will be in their home, hosting a little Halloween gathering. Something catastrophic would have to happen for James and Lily to die, but I've made provisions for that with my sacrifice.
Make it known to Andromeda and Ted that Harry is as good as their son now, and shouldn't go anywhere else. I'm confident my parents will cherish him. Little Tonks already does.
As for the press, I remember in my time that Harry was called the Boy Who Lived. I hope that doesn't happen again, but I can't control the news. I hope he'll have his parents to help him through the ordeal. If not, he'll have mine. Voldemort knows the prophecy and will target Harry eventually, I'm certain of it. Do your best to impress on Andromeda and Ted that Harry will need every protection available, and not to worry about the cost.
You see, I have great hope that the Lestranges will soon be imprisoned, and if I'm dead, then the contents of the Lestrange and Black vaults are now Nymphadora's. I made a few unusual barters with a goblin this morning to ensure it all. Let Andromeda and Ted take whatever they need to keep little Tonks and Harry safe and happy.
Do take care of Remus for me, as well as Sirius and Severus. I hope Sirius stays out of prison! I told Peter the only way he could possibly redeem himself was by keeping James far away from Godric's Hollow. If Peter fucked it up, please murder him for me.
It's been a wild ten years, hasn't it? Give everyone my best, and after June 1996, feel free to tell them everything I told you about my original timeline.
With love and irritation,
Dora
P.S. In a few days' time, if I've died, a cantankerous house elf you know as Kreacher will present you with several hundred memories from my two timelines. Most of them are yours to keep and review as you see fit. Some are specially marked for use before the Wizengamot. I have enough memories of Death Eater activity and crimes to get so many of them imprisoned for life. Please use them, so there's less work for little Tonks if she becomes an Auror. There's a set for Sirius, memories of Regulus I wanted to share with him. There's a set for Remus, memories of us together, both timelines. I have a hunch that when I transfer some of my life and magic to little Tonks, that some memories might go to her too. I'm not giving an almost ten year old graphic memories, violent or otherwise, which is why I've taken so many out of my head and given them to you, Sirius, and Remus for safekeeping.
Albus wasn't a man who was usually shocked or surprised, but Dora's letter to him had astonished him. What she had managed to accomplish in a few short years – binding herself to Harry, giving her younger self part of her life, and preventing Harry's misfortune with the Dursleys – was beyond anything he could have imagined.
Lily and James were dead. There was nothing Albus could do about it, but it made perfect sense why Dora's will had so clearly stated that as Harry's godmother, she would want Harry to go to the Tonkses. She had made it so that Harry would be safest with her, or her parents.
Albus was confident that Harry was a horcrux. He had inspected the boy's lightning-bolt shaped scar, and it held magic. He sighed, feeling older than he had in years. According to the prophecy, the boy would have to die one day. He would be kept safe and sound with the Tonkses until then.
The horcruxes. Albus stroked his beard, contemplating the matter. Dora had known where the horcruxes were, and she had promised that they would be well kept until the time was right. From her memories, Albus was confident that the giant snake that attacked an Order member was a horcrux as well. Now that Voldemort was "defeated," both he and Albus would have to wait for his "return" with the snake.
The graveyard. Dora had mentioned the graveyard and a potion to bring Voldemort back to life, but Voldemort's family's remains were no longer interred at the graveyard in Little Hangleton. Tom Riddle would find a different way to return corporeally…of that, Albus was certain.
There was little Albus could do until the puzzle pieces began fitting together. Until then, he had two children whose welfare mattered more to him than any others' in the world.
….
3 November 1981
"Happy 22nd," Remus said flatly. Sirius looked up at his remaining best friend, a curtain of black hair slightly obscuring his view.
"Didn't think I'd spend my 22nd in a Ministry holding cell," Sirius muttered. "At least not for manslaughter."
Remus shifted from one foot to the other. "I'm not much better, if that helps."
"You're not looking at ten years with dementors."
"We were right about Dora."
Sirius' eyes grew wide and he leaned against the bars for support. "We were?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Remus said bitterly. "She was once Nymphadora. She left letters for us." Remus pulled out a sealed envelope, marked with Sirius' name. "Dumbledore found this at the Potters' yesterday and asked me to give it to you. He's got other business to attend to. Apparently Dora left behind hundreds of memories, and he's sorting through the ones that will go before the Wizengamot to get Death Eaters to Azkaban. She was prepared to die."
"After all that time, Dora knew it all," Sirius breathed. "When we were kids she once said I'd have a stint in Azkaban. I wonder why she didn't do more to prevent it." Sirius scuffed his shoe against the stone floor, angry that Dora had disappointed him again.
"I wouldn't blame her yet," Remus said quietly. "I haven't read her letter to you – she's charmed it so only you can read it – but I'm under the impression that she did change things for the better."
"Can you give me the bloody letter then?"
Remus handed the letter to Sirius, who tore it open easily. He sat on a grimy chair in the cell, and unfolded the letter to read.
Dear Sirius,
Yours is the last letter I'm writing, and I'm running out of time. If you're reading this, I'm dead. You were right about the theory that I was a time traveler. I often saw it in your mind (hazards of becoming an accomplished Legilimens) but couldn't say anything. I hope you feel vindicated in knowing that you were right. I can't say much about the details, ask Dumbledore if you're desperate.
I did want to tell you what happened to Regulus. His death hurt me deeply, and I wanted so badly to keep him alive. In my first timeline, I never met Regulus. I came to know of him when I was older, and he had been dead for decades. When I got to know him in the 70s, I came to love him as a brother, as I did you. When I first learned of Regulus, you said he'd died as a Death Eater, but no one knew the details as he wasn't 'important enough.' I put the pieces together later.
Voldemort had special treasures that he collected and kept. They were crucial to his survival, and I knew about them before many others did. There was one in particular that I had been hunting for years, only to find that Regulus got to it first. Regulus died a hero, getting the treasure out of Voldemort's hands. It's in a secure place now, and it will be destroyed when the time is right. It was a pure accident that Regulus found out about the treasures. He was never meant to know, and he gave his life to get it. He shouldn't have known, if Voldemort hadn't asked for a house elf to help hide the treasure. Voldemort made the mortal mistake of using Kreacher, who Regulus and I loved. Kreacher wasn't well after Voldemort borrowed him, and it didn't help that Rookwood had murdered Cyrus just weeks before. Regulus took Rookwood down in his attempt to get the treasure. He died a hero, Sirius. It should have been me that died or risked my life for that treasure. You'll never know how sorry I am that he died.
That was an event that I realized was "fixed," no matter what I did. The treasure that Voldemort had I had once seen in my original timeline, which meant that Regulus had always died an unsung hero.
As for you, I hope you didn't do anything stupid. I tried keeping you out of prison. In my timeline, you were framed for the murder of twelve Muggles, and were tossed in Azkaban without a trial. You spent twelve years there until you managed to escape. In that time, no one knew you were an Animagus, and that's how you managed to escape. Even after your escape, you weren't free, and you were bound to Grimmauld Place. I felt so sorry for you, Sirius, and I did what I could to keep you out of Azkaban.
I am truly sorry none of you knew my past, but if I've done everything correctly, my past is going to be different now.
Be safe, Sirius, and take care of Remus for me. Give my parents all my love, and make sure little Tonks and Harry both have long, happy lives.
Love,
Dora
Sirius wiped a tear from his eyes, and handed the parchment to Remus, who turned over a different parchment to Sirius. They exchanged letters, and after several moments of stunned silence, they turned to one another.
"Fucking hell," Sirius managed to say. "Dora outdid herself."
"It would seem that she had the right idea in trying to save you," Remus said. "Ten years isn't as bad as going to Azkaban without a trial. You're getting a trial, at least."
"And Reg's death wasn't in vain," Sirius murmured. "She loved him too."
"She loved all of us, and we were dicks to her."
"Dora made mistakes too. Can't forget the time she hexed all of Marlene's hair off."
"She has the same Black temper that led you to killing your own cousin."
"Bellatrix had it coming to her," Sirius growled. "She killed Lily in front of my eyes. I think I did the world a service."
Remus exhaled forcefully and leant against the bars separating him from Sirius. "You did, but not in the way the Wizengamot will appreciate. When is your trial?"
"Next week. Moody's rushing the paperwork, something about Dumbledore helping."
"Dumbledore's probably going through Dora's memories to find every crime the Lestranges and Avery ever committed. If you're lucky, there will be enough to consider the killings justified."
Sirius grimaced. "I've already been told I can't be an Auror anymore."
"Better that than a decade in prison."
"At least Harry's being cared for by 'Dromeda and Ted."
"For now," Remus said. "Lily's sister Petunia is nowhere to be found, but I got the impression from Dumbledore that Dora orchestrated their absence."
"She didn't kill them, did she? I wouldn't put it past her, honestly."
Remus snorted. "I wouldn't put it past her, either, but I don't think her temper is as poorly controlled as yours. She probably helped them move out of the country. The way Dumbledore made it sound, Harry's likely to be raised by the Tonkses."
"Better them than Petunia and that load of a husband," Sirius said darkly. "'Dromeda and Ted are good parents. They'll take good care of Harry for me."
"I think that's why Dora chose them. She chose her own parents to raise Harry."
"They'll be good to him. Ted's a Muggleborn, and he'll introduce Harry to that ridiculous foot game they play."
"You mean football?" Remus asked, raising a brow at Sirius.
"That's the one, football," Sirius said. "Harry will play the football, and he'll get the experience of Muggle and wizard life. He'll also get little Tonks for a big sister."
Remus groaned upon being reminded of the young Metamorphmagus.
"How are you holding up?" asked Sirius, his tone more somber than before.
"I dunno," Remus said, his face guarded from any emotion. "I think I might try to move away for a while. It's too painful."
"Care to say more?"
Remus' face contorted from his neutral expression to raw anguish. "What can I say without sounding like a desperate pedophile, waiting for her to grow up, if I'll still be alive, or if she'll want anything to do with me. I usually say I wish I hadn't been born with the lycanthropy, but right now I wish I hadn't been born."
"Moony, don't—"
"—you don't understand," Remus said angrily. "She tells me she was Nymphadora and expects me not to react? Not to panic? It should have been me that died instead of James, so I wouldn't have to put up with this misery."
Sirius shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, beginning to feel desperate at his friend's anguish. "They're different people, Tonks and Dora. There's no reason to—"
"—there is every reason to want to end this nightmare. How am I ever going to look at that child and not wonder or hope she'll grow up to be Dora? What kind of torture is this?"
Remus now began pacing before Sirius, the cell bars in between them. "How am I going to live? I've lost Dora, and all I can do is hope that Nymphadora will be Dora, and I'll have her again. The child is barely ten years old! I'm a monster! I'm a waste of breath, of life! How will I live with myself?" Remus was pulling his hair out, looking crazed.
Sirius frowned, thinking hard over his friend's fate. Never had Remus been so agitated, even after a particularly bloody moon. "Cast a Muffliato," Sirius said quietly, while running his hands through his long, black hair. "Then hand me Dora's letter to you again. I have an idea."
"What could you possibly—"
"—I'll need your wand, too. I'm going to write a letter, and I need you to help me."
"Who is this letter going to?" Remus demanded.
"Dumbledore. This has nothing to do with you. I realize you're having a mental breakdown, and I'm not trying to stop it," Sirius said flatly. "I'm on the hook for up to ten years in Azkaban. You can put aside your girl problems for a minute, can't you? I need your wand and parchment so I can conjure the rest."
Remus shot him a dirty look, his face now red and his eyes gleaming as if ready for murder. Reluctantly, Remus handed his wand and Dora's letter through the bar, to Sirius.
As soon as Sirius had the wand in his hand, he swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. Before Remus could react, Sirius pointed the wand at Remus and cast, "Obliviate," concentrating on removing every trace of memory that Dora and Tonks were ever connected. It was almost cruel, Sirius thought, to remove the information Dora had wanted him to know about her true self, but Remus was losing his mind. Sirius couldn't lose another friend – not again.
As soon as Sirius was satisfied with his memory modification on Remus, he tucked both of Dora's letters in his pocket, to keep Remus from finding them for as long as possible. He would need to write to everyone else to let them know what he'd done to his werewolf friend.
Remus was still slightly dazed following the Memory Charm, and Sirius stuffed the wand back into Remus' hand.
"Moony, mate, you alright?" Sirius asked, feeling guilty.
"Mmm? Yeah, fine. Just tired." Remus ran his hand through his shaggy hair, looking around the holding cell.
"I asked you a question," Sirius said slowly. "Should I ask again?"
"Yeah, sorry about that, must be grief. I feel so lost without her."
"Without…?" Sirius asked, hoping he'd cast the Memory Charm properly.
"Dora, of course," Remus said, eyes welling with tears. "Didn't have a chance to say goodbye, or tell her how much I loved her."
"I'm sure she knew." Sirius tucked another tuft of hair behind his ear, and looked back up at Remus. "Anyway, I asked if you'll be at my trial?"
Remus frowned, deep in thought. "As long as it's not the day of or after the full moon, yeah. I'll write you."
Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Moony. You'll be alone for the moon?"
"I don't have a choice. I have nowhere else to be. Dumbledore offered the Shrieking Shack, which I'm taking. I'm afraid I might kill myself with how terribly I'm doing."
Sirius stared into Remus' eyes. "I can't lose another brother, Remus."
"I know, Pads, I know."
A guard passed by Remus and Sirius, announcing the end of visitor hours.
"I'll see you soon, I hope," Remus said, shaking Sirius' hand through the bars.
"I'll be out soon," Sirius said, as a sinking feeling came over him, as he didn't believe it himself.