A/N: This is another story based on the movie of the same name as my title. It's with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long, highly recommend that you watch it, if you haven't already. Of course, my interpretation will have some differences, but I will stick as close to the film as much as possible. This film holds a special place in my heart, and means a lot to me, so I hope you all enjoy this crazy journey with me, and enjoy the first two chapters. More updates are to come, including on other of my stories. :) Happy reading!
Emma was never big on romance. She was never even big on relationships. She figured, why bother? Relationships were tough. She liked her life to remain simple, living in her apartment with her roommate and friend for many years- Killian. He knew about her sexuality, of course, but that didn't stop him from trying to pick up on her when they first met. After years, he stopped- which Emma was thankful for. Now, he just likes to listen in anytime she gets 'lucky.'
She had her job, which she would admit, she wasn't in a place in her career where she was completely happy, but hey- it was still the music business and she would look for something better. It was all a matter of time.
She was actually proud of herself over one thing. She had been repeatedly seeing the same girl for two months now, which was the longest she had ever gone in being with anyone. Today was Natalie's birthday, and she wanted it to be special.
She had set everything up in her apartment that night. Take out from Natalie's favorite Chinese place, Mr. Wong's. A birthday cake placed in the middle of the coffee table surrounded by all the take out. That was all included after having hung out with their friends at a bar for some drinks.
Now. she found herself on her couch, on a lip-lock with Natalie that frankly was beginning to work her up.
"Thank you," Natalie murmured against Emma's thin lips, pulling away from their kiss as she smiled. "And thank you for the take out." She glanced over at the take out laid on the coffee table.
"Of course, it's your birthday." Emma smiled, running a couple of her fingers through Natalie's brunette hair.
She smiled, looking into the blonde's eyes expectedly. "So…?" Her brows shot up.
"Oh, right." Emma grinned, taking her by the hand and racing off the couch. "But, we have to go to my room because Killian's here."
"Oh… Are we done in here?" She froze, looking quizzically at Emma.
"What?" The blonde's head slightly tilted. The last thing she wanted was for Killian to peek out at them while they fucked on the couch. It happened before.
"I just thought… That this would be a perfect time for you to give me my gift." She smiled once again, excited to see what her girlfriend bought her. She frowned upon seeing Emma's lost features.
"Oh, shit." The blonde murmured, her cheeks turning slightly pink. "I didn't get you anything."
"What?" Natalie's face fell.
"You told me that you didn't want me to get you anything." Said Emma. She frowned upon seeing her girlfriend's eyes water right before her eyes. "Oh, God- what's happening? Are you really crying?"
"No." She turned away from her sobbing, not wanting to look at her.
"Baby, wha-? You have to explain this to me, okay? Because you specifically said not to get you anything for your birthday." She followed her across the room, coming to a halt once Natalie turned on her heels, furious and with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Emma, I tell you to not get me something, so you'll want to get me something because I'm the girlfriend who didn't ask for anything!" She snaps.
"What?" Emma's brow furrows, feeling utterly lost.
"You are such an asshole!" Natalie grunts, heading straight toward the door.
"Okay, wait a minute!" Emma rushes after her, stopping her before she can even walk out on her. "Just wait. Why don't we just go out and I'll get you something now, okay?"
"It is not about the goddamn gift!"
"What do you mean it's not about the gift? You're the one who brought it up-"
"Emma," she sighs, taking a deep breath afterward. "It's a lot of things, okay? I've invested so much in this so-called relationship of myself and I don't feel like you're doing the same."
"Oh, come on." Emma rolled her eyes.
"I don't even think this means the same for you. I don't think you're fully into this." She pauses, looking into the blonde's green eyes expectedly. "Are you?"
There's a minute pause, before Emma can force herself to say, "S-sure."
"Oh, my God." Natalie rolls her eyes, rushing toward the door again.
"Okay, wait a second, Nat!" Emma reaches out for her feeling the brunette yanks her arm away. "Ugh!" Next she felt the impact of the door as Natalie swung it open so close to her face, it hit her on the nose.
"You're worse than a guy! Don't even think about calling me back!" She shouts out into the hallway.
"What? What does that even mean? Okay, wait a minute, Nat. Does that mean that you want me to call you or that I really shouldn't call you?" Emma awaits an answer, only getting a grunt in response and the finger before she sees the brunette rush off across the hallway. "So, it means what it means- good." Emma says to herself before shutting the door to her apartment.
"Killian!" She called out.
"Do you need my assistance?" He shouted from within the closed door of his room.
Emma chuckled, "No, you perv, but I could use a drinking buddy. How about we go back to the bar?" She reached for her red leather jacket that was on the coat rack, along with Killian's black one.
"You had me at: 'drinking buddy.'" He grinned, sticking his head out of his bedroom door before rushing out and catching his jacket which Emma tossed mid-air. "I'll call August on the way."
Regina ran as fast as she could across the office building. She was hired to work as a temp in The New York Times as credit for college. And during the time she's been working here, she has never been late. Except for today. She needed to hurry.
"Excuse me, excuse me- sorry!" Her heels clicked faster against the thin carpeted floor as she picked up speed, pushing past a couple of people throwing glaring looks her way. "Ow! Son of a bitch!" She ran so fast, she missed a neglected open cabinet near her feet and impacted her leg right on it. But even that wouldn't stop her from getting to where she needed to be, even if she had to hop on one leg for the remainder of- okay, Ingrid's cubicle was as far as she was getting. For now.
"You're late." Kathryn speaks to her while placing her palm over her cubicle phone.
"Really? Thank you, Kathryn. I forgot that's why I was running." She said sarcastically to the woman while her hand quickly rubbed away the throbbing pain right on her leg before rushing into her temporary boss's office.
An older man's eyes glared her way right under his glasses that rested on the tip of his nose. He was a dwarf of a man, Regina could easily take him if she wanted to- not that she was one to get into fights with the male species or female- but she could take him. He obviously hated having temps here wasting his time judging from the scowl look on his face. But, hell, Regina couldn't stand being here either. She couldn't wait to go back home to Los Angeles and finish school.
"You're late." Said Mr. Pearson.
"I know, I-"
"Sit." He pointed to the only empty chair in the middle of the other two women before his desk.
Regina sat, crossing one of her legs over the other, but quickly retorting back, deciding to remain with her hands rested against her lap instead. She brushed back a strand of her jet black hair, while Mr. Pearson picked up his red pen and began marking Regina's newly written draft right before them. Her brow furrowed at the silence in the room, at the savage scratching of his pen against her paper. It took her back to her high school years, sitting in debate class in Mrs. Loch Ness monster's class. That woman would adore using her red pen in all of her graded assignments. Maybe her and Mr. Pearson were related?
"Did he use the red pen with you two?" She murmured over to the two women sitting beside her, shifting in her chair.
"No." Both women replied in unison, facing forward.
After scratching an infinite circle on her paper, he finally set the paper and pen flat on his desk, removing his glasses. "Well, it's an impressive report." He said matter-of-factly.
"Thank you." Regina smiled.
"However, it needs to be completely restructured." He dropped the brunette's paper across the desk. "And uh, a spell check wouldn't hurt. 'Municible' courthouse? Not sure where that is." He stood from his chair. "Thank you, ladies."
Regina released a heavy sigh, flashing her newly decorated report, flashy in red pen markings to Kathryn with a dull look to her face.
"Where are you going?" Kathryn asked the brunette while reaching for her purse.
"I'm thirty-one. I'm an intern. I'm going to get wasted." Said Regina.
"Amen. I'm in." Kathryn rushed over to the brunette who happily left with the idea of having several cold drinks.
"Will you look at this mess?" She flashed her graded paper at the blonde.
Kathryn's brow furrowed as she glared down at it. "Oh, my God, he bled on it."
The Huntsman was the spot. It was Emma's turn to buy their next round of beers, so she decided on a pitcher, setting it down on their usual booth. The music was playing just right tonight- like every night. There were people playing pool, others playing darts, it was a busy night.
"I still can't believe she broke up with me." Said Emma, refilling their glasses.
"Of course, she did, dumbass." Said August.
"What, because I didn't get her a gift?" Emma shook her head.
"It's not about the gift." August replied.
"He's right, Em, I really don't think it's about the gift." Killian popped a pretzel into his mouth.
"How does everyone except me know that it's not about the gift?" She asks.
"Look, Em, I get it, okay?" Killian's blue eyes met with Emma's green ones. "You got dumped."
"Again." Said August, earning a glare from Emma.
"It sucks. You get upset, you go to your room, turn off all the lights, light some candles, put on a sad track and you go into that deep emotional place that women go. Where you're just like-" He hunches down and begins to make a wailing sobbing noise.
Emma's brow raises, while August can't help to let a laugh escape him.
"Is that really how you cry?" She asks Killian.
"Yes. What, like you haven't cried? All women do." He looks over at August, "Right?"
"She doesn't cry." August shakes his head.
"Yeah, I haven't cried yet, no." Emma takes a sip of her beer. "Actually, I don't think I've ever cried over a girl. Except maybe once, in high school." Her eyes narrowed in thought.
"Tough." Killian shrugs, "Well, maybe you didn't like her enough."
"What are you talking about? Of course I liked her. I liked her a lot. We were great together. I just… I don't know what happened."
"Come on, Em." August smirks, setting his glass down.
"What?"
"This happens every time. You go out with a girl, and then you never fully commit, that breaks her heart and she bails on you. And then, we both have to sit here and listen to you act all surprised about it."
"It happens all the time." Killian nods.
"All the time." August agrees.
Emma shakes her head, "It doesn't happen all the time. It happens occasionally."
"My left nut, it does. This happens all the time. You're worse than a guy." August chuckles.
"Alright- you know what? Fuck you," Emma points at August. "And fuck you." She points at Killian next before picking up her filled up glass of beer. "I'm gonna go clear my head."
"Are you going to the bathroom to cry it out?" Asked Killian, looking at the blonde over his shoulder as she walked away from them.
"No, I'm not going to cry it out. I just have to clear my head."
"Clear your head, cry it out. Same thing." He murmured to himself, turning his attention to August. "You know what I'm talking about, right? When you lock yourself in your room and you just let out a cry like-" He hunches over and begins to sob deeply once again, his body shaking up and down.
August chuckled, shaking his head. "If you ask me, that looks like you're trying to suck your own dick."
"What?" His brow furrows. "That does not-"
"Come on. If you didn't know me, walked into the room and saw me doing this without making any noise, what does it look like?" August mocked Killian's movements without the sobbing sound.
Killian frowned. "Okay, yeah- that looks like you're trying to suck your own dick. But that's not how you do it. When I suck my own dick, I lay on my back and throw my legs over my head."
August froze, blinking.
"What?" Asked Killian after taking a drink of his beer.
"Dude. You suck your own dick?"
"Yeah." He admitted it matter-of-factly.
"You cut your own hair, and you suck your own dick. You're like a Swiss army knife." August takes a much needed drink of his beer. He could have gone the rest of his life without knowing that fact about his friend. Ever.