I don't own these characters or profit from them.
TMNT: The Return of the Mutant Women of Channel 6
By, Clayton Overstreet
Fresh from their adventure to Turtle Prime (See the actual TV special: Turtles Forever) Shredder and Krang were deep under New York city tearing out most of what the Ootron Shredder had installed in the Technodrome. Rocksteady and Bebop watched with dismay.
"Are ya sure yas want ta throw it all out boss?" The rhinoceros mutant asked.
The Warthog said, "Yeah, I mean most a dis stuff was pretty cool."
Shredder glared at them from behind the mask. "And most of it can't be trusted. I'll admit that alien version of me from the other dimension had some good ideas, but he was downright crazy!" He waved a bladed hand around. "Most of this stuff is completely useless. That psycho wanted to destroy the world. Krang and I want to rule it! I've put too much work into trying to conquer New York to see it leveled to the ground. And all of this advanced technology looks great, but I've dealt with too much not to recognize a betrayal waiting to happen. Maybe our old foot soldiers can do with an upgrade, but there's probably some secret virus or something that is timed to kill us all if that little pink monster is gone too long."
As the mutants shared a concerned look and glanced around as if expecting guns to appear from the walls and vaporize them all Krang appeared on the monitor nearby making them jump. "Shredder (browwwl) what do you want to do with this thirty tons of mutagen we've got sitting around?"
The other Shredder, before going on a cross dimensional jaunt to destroy reality as they knew it, had taken the mutagen from Shredder and unleashed it on his own world. The Turtles from that somewhat darker and grittier world had been inflicted with an army of human-mutants including that Hun character who had been turned into a mutant turtle himself, much to the gang lord's horror. A problem for that other world once they stopped the multiverse from being erased.
The Ootron Shredder however had gone a little overboard. It only took a little of the stuff to make a mutant and he had created a gigantic vat. Even after creating hundreds of new deadly mutants who made the Shredder's own mutants look like cartoon characters in comparison, they had barely used more than a couple gallons or the glowing pink ooze. Far too dangerous to store in the damaged technodrome but also too good to waste,
That stuff was dangerous and used recklessly it could… hmm… now there was an idea.
"Krang would it take you long to whip a little something up? I know you are working on that giggle ray, but I think I have an idea on how to distract the turtles until it is finished."
"Shredder you've got that look in your eye. (Slurp) What are you planning in that devious brain of yours?"
He chuckled. "Let's just say I'm thinking of making a weather forecast. It looks like rain with a chance of mutation!" Learning that his battle with the turtles was the basis for near infinite realities had put two things into his head. One was the realization that he might win or lose, but just as his double had said in some form his battle with the turtles was never going to end. There were turtles and yes Shredders on a million worlds and they would always be at each other's throats.
Second this meant he could be as petty and vindictive as he wanted over this whole thing. His victories would always be few and temporary. Even if he somehow won some version or clone or parallel version of those blasted reptiles would show up to foil him. He might rule the world for hundred years but they would be back and probably undo whatever he accomplished just as he would always be there to attack their world and try to rule it.
So just this once he was going to just forget about winning while he and Krang focused on their plans and simply give the turtles something to occupy them in the interim.
000
Outside the rin poured down over the city. April O'Neil was curled up on the couch watching an old movie with a cup of hot cocoa. She wore a pink robe and was just enjoying a break between her career and regular dangerous adventures. One thing she had learned from the turtles' foray into inter-dimensional transport was that despite what she thought, the threats on her life had very little to do with them and just as much to do with her. Without the guys she would have just been killed by something else weird. Getting attacked by a monster banana had really driven that home. Still she liked her life. Her only complaint being that she had never wanted to be a damsel in distress so much as a hero.
Speaking of people who were unhappy with aspects of their life, the door to the apartment opened and Irma came in. She was soaking wet and looked miserable. April looked up and asked unwisely, "So how did your date go?"
"That's it, I'm done with men."
"Again?"
Walking to her room Irma spoke, "I'm serious this time April. I mean what am I supposed to do? This guy was great. Handsome, rich, single… at least I thought so. next thing I know his wife shows up at the restaurant and starts yelling at me." Hair wrapped in a towel and wearing a blue robe she came back into the room and headed for the kitchenette. She made her own cup of chocolate powder mix. "I had to take a cab home in the rain." She sighed and walked up to the back of the couch sipping the steamy drink.
"I told you that guy looked a bit seedy."
"Yeah, I know. How come the only decent guys we ever meet are mutants, robots, and aliens? And even that doesn't work out for me."
"I don't exactly date much either Irma," April said. "The nicest human I know is a crazy man in a hockey mask who spends his free time beating people up with sports equipment while talking like Clint Eastwood. The guys tell me an alternate version of me was playing kissy-face with him but excuse me if I'd rather stay single in this world." She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I guess it's just you and me."
Irma snorted. "Maybe I should call my mother and have her start picking out china patterns." She said it playfully and sipped her cocoa, but as April turned back to the TV Irma's expression turned thoughtful. In the last few years she had happily thrown herself at just about any guy, including the green ones; and her best dates had involved being kidnapped by ninjas. And Shredder or even the fly guy Baxter Stockman had been more pleasant to hang around than most of the guys she knew.
She went around and took a seat next to April, curling up on the next cushion over and grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch. "So what are we watching? Tell me it's not a romance."
"Just some old black and white thing." April grabbed a corner of the blanket and pulled it over so they were sharing. "Wow Irma, your feet are cold."
"Sorry."
Setting her cup on the coffee table April said, "No, it's okay." She reached under the blanket and began rubbing Irma's icy toes. "You've had a rough night."
Irma sighed contentedly. "Thanks April." She closed her eyes and enjoyed it a minute. When her toes were warm and she finished her cocoa she said, "Want me to get your shoulders?"
"Sure." She shifted position and picked up her lukewarm cup as Irma put hers down and began rubbing her back and arms. "Thanks. I've got a knot the size of a goose egg back there."
"I can feel it," Irma agreed. "You know April you're carrying too much equipment around town. Half the time whenever you're on a story I see you running around with the TV camera on your shoulder."
April sighed. "Yeah, well most of the time I'm being chased by something or other. The night I met the guys Vernon and the film crew from the van had ditched me when we got attacked by some of Shredder's gang cronies. Before I even met the guys. Since then getting a crew who'll hang around when things get interesting hasn't been easy. So I have to carry most of the recording equipment myself if I want any decent shots. I keep a small video camera on me at all times just incase, but the quality just isn't great. Do you know how hard it was to convince people an alien brain is trying to conquer Earth? They all thought it was a hoax."
"Well you did prove it," Irma said, rubbing her thumbs into April's shoulder blades. "And you re now the highest paid reporter in the city."
"Mm, that feels good. But sure, I make a big paycheck, but half of it goes to paying off the equipment I get trashed. The insurance guys won't pay off on any of it any more. You know that van Donatello built is one of my old news vans. So don't think I'm actually making much." She sighed. "Maybe I should have covered the Ghostbusters instead."
"My cousin Janine works for them. I asked her about it once Turns out they have a lot of overhead too and ghosts don't really appear on film. You're better off with mutants. Besides you wouldn't give up on the turtles any more than I would. Not only are they great guys, but they're good friends and we've helped save the world a couple of times if only because we saved them. You can't buy that sort of job satisfaction."
"They keep making me try," April said ruefully. "You're right. I'm sorry to complain, but it would be nice to have some certainty in my life other than that I'll be attacked by monsters at least once a week. I totally get your search for the perfect guy."
"Well like I said, I am done with men."
April laughed as she leaned into the backrub. "Irma you've got the biggest heart I've ever known. The day you give up on romance is the day Shredder gives up trying to take over the world."
Irma chewed her lip and then leaned forward a little, until her mouth was by April's ear. She slid her hands around the other woman's shoulders and said, "Who said anything about giving up on romance?"
April was silent for a moment, taking this in. Then she leaned back against Irma and under the blanket absently rubbed her hand against the other woman's calf. It was pretty smooth. She had shaved her legs for a date after all. Warm. No scales. Nice really. She liked the turtles and yes she had considered dating them, but there were certain things she just could not get over. The fact that sitting in the lap of any one of them was about the same as sitting on pool furniture. This was a lot more comfortable as well as comforting.
Well no need to think too much of it. Neither of them made of move, but they did not move away either. Leaning back on the couch they watched the movie and eventually fell asleep together on the couch content and spooning. Outside the rain pounded down.
Neither of them was awake to see the modified mousers fly up into the sky or the falling water splattering their window had taken on a luminous pink tinge a moment later.
000
"Leonardo! Donatello! Raphael! Michelangelo!" Splinter called. "Come quickly!"
The turtles leapt from their beds, grabbing their weapons and masks. Except for Raphael who forgot his. When they arrived in their living room Michelangelo pointed it out and Raphael touched his face. "Oh no, the world will know who I am."
"Dude, there are only four of us in the world, we're talking turtles, and we have our initials on our belt buckles."
"Oh yeah… why do we wear masks again?"
"I always presumed master Splinter had trouble telling us apart as babies," Donatello said.
Raphael did have vague memories of being called Michelangelo as a child. "Oh."
The rat stepped forward. "My turtles; look!" He pointed at the television.
"Whoa, I think I've seen this one. Attack of the Animal People from Mars, right?" Mikey said.
Suddenly a cat woman appeared on the screen holding a microphone. She wore a yellow jumpsuit she filled out nicely with the top undone to flash a little furry cleavage at the camera. "As you can see downtown is a menagerie as the citizens of New York have been mutated into human-animal hybrids…"
"April!" They said, recognizing her from the last time she had turned into a cat-woman.
"What happened, master?" Leonardo said.
"They are unsure," Splinter said. "Though it is obvious to us who must be behind this."
"Shredder," Leonardo growled. "He's mutated the entire city!"
A moment later their turtle-com was beeping. Donatello answered t, "Hey April, what's going on?"
"I'm having a little trouble fellas. I walked into work in the rain this morning and by the time I got there I needed a body wax in the worst way. Vernon's more of a weasel than usual and Mr. Thompson's starting to really look like his basset hound."
"Well they do say pets and their owners start to look alike…" Raphael said.
"Yeah, but they usually don't go chasing cars together," April said. "He always called himself a news hound, but this is ridiculous."
"How are you doing April?" Donny asked. "Last time you mutated you weren't exactly yourself."
"Actually I feel fine," she said. She examined her claws. "I need a manicure and maybe a trip to the dentist, but other than that I'm swell. Speaking of swelling though you should see Irma."
"What had she mutated into?"
"Herself. Only… bigger."
He paused. "She's a giant again? How's she doing?"
April turned her com camera to the side. Irma was sitting at a construction site on a stack of girders. "Not bad. And this time she isn't even feeling hungry."
"Great, I'm going to be chased by men in military uniforms again but for the wrong reason." Irma moaned. "Why couldn't I have gotten back those super powers?"
Donatello said, "That's interesting. The mutagen seems to have affected the two of you based on your previous transformations. Reasserting the mutations caused by the meteor radiation that enlarged her before and the matter transporter that mixed you with that cat. Only it seems you're more stable than last time."
"Stable, maybe, but still hirsute. Do you know how much razorblades are going to run me?"
Raphael put his third finger to the corner of his mouth. "One million dollars?"
"We're on it Missus Bigglesworth," Leonardo said. He closed the communicator and looked at the others. "Don, can you do anything?"
"Sure thing Leo. We're still in the first few hours of the mutation. I can whip up an antidote. The problem is a delivery system that will cover the whole city."
"And not de-mutate us," Leonardo reminded him.
"No need to worry about that. We've been mutated for so long that it's practically impossible to undo, like the time I tried to turn Master Splinter back into a human. Or when we were fighting Dregg and became hyper mutants. It might take for a little while but we'd revert in quick order. Which is why we need to get everyone turned back as quickly as possible."
"Do we have to?" Mikey said. "In a city of millions you just know there's got to be a few turtle chicks out there."
"Mikey, we can't take advantage of girls just because they're in a spot."
Raphael said, "Well I don't think we're getting anywhere with personal adds. Once you mention you're under four feet tall and bald and teenagers they don't even get to the turtle part." He sighed. "Though I suppose even in turtle form the running and screaming part would not exactly make us feel better. I'd rather get stuff thrown at me by humans than other turtles."
"Guess you got a point," Mikey said. "Sorry I let reptilian puberty get the better of me. That time of the year, ya know?"
"I have never been so grateful that you are not mammals," Splinter said. "Hurry my turtles. Before this city tears itself apart."
"Right master," Leonardo said.
"You guys will need to pick up the ingredients for the anti-mutagen," Donatello said, "I'll get the Turtle Blimp ready for takeoff so we can drop it from the sky. Though I suppose I should rig up an aerosol since we don't have a rainstorm going on to spread it around."
"Be stealthy my turtles," Splinter warned.
"Actually master I think we can just walk out the front door today…"
000
Out on the street the turtles looked around. There were people everywhere, so to speak, looking at their new animal forms. Being New Yorkers most were just rolling with it, while others were causing trouble. Fur or feathers people still had to get to work. There were cops around. You could tell by the uniform even if they had mostly morphed into humanoid dogs, horses, and household pets.
They found Irma on the way. Raphael said, "Hey Irma, care to help us tote a few hundred gallons of chemicals back to the lair?"
"Sure, I'm not doing much else," she said. "I hope April doesn't think I'm too butch carrying a tanker truck."
"Where is April?"
Suddenly something moved in Irma's giant shirt and April's head stuck out from under the hem of Irma's turtleneck. "I was um… taking a cat nap. Irma's bra is surprisingly comfortable." Up above Irma's face turned red.
"I always thought it might be," Michelangelo said.
Crossing her arms in front of her as April landed on the ground with cat-like grace Irma said, "You'll have to take April's word for it."
"We weren't going to ask any of the guys in town," Leonardo said.
"I heard that!"
April interrupted, "Guys, look at that!" She pointed up to the sky. "Something shiny is up there."
Leonardo peered up. "It's metallic, whatever it is…" He looked around and saw a man-eagle. "Hey buddy; can you see what those things up in the sky are?"
The bird-man peered up. "They look like little robots. Shaped like tiny t-rexes only with helicopter propellers.
"Mousers," Leonardo said. "Shredder must have used them to disperse the mutagen."
Mikey said, "That's not good dudes! They can eat through walls like I eat through pizza sticks! If we send the blimp up there it'll get chewed up."
"We need to distract them," Leonardo said.
"Shredder's not going to let that happen," April said.
Raphael snapped his fingers. "I have an idea. Knowing chrome dome I bet he got impatient and just sent the mousers up there without reprogramming them right. Mikey, April, and I can take care of the mousers for a while. You guys just get Donatello the chemicals."
"You got it," Leo said. "Come on Irma, we have to hurry."
She sighed. "The whole world changes and I am still doing menial labor."
April said, "I'll make it up to you afterwards. Dinner at Sari's. I'll have the fillet of fish and you can have the entire buffet cart. Candlelit with a violinist and everything."
Irma batted her eyes and clasped her hands. "Well you know what I'll go through for a romantic dinner. Come on Leonardo."
"Uh sure," he said giving the others a shrug.
"So what's the plan Raphael?" April asked.
"Well Mikey is the party dude, so you head to the party store and get as many balloons as you can and a tank of helium. April, you and I will hit the pet store. I think you'll enjoy it. We'll meet back here in half an hour."
"You got it bro," Mikey said and they rushed off in different directions.
000
"April, spit it out!" Raphael snapped as he tied yet another mouse from the local pet shop to yet another balloon. There were only about five hundred of them. Mikey could not get more. Apparently there was some big to-do at Canterlot High and some pink girl had bought out most of the balloons in the place. Hopefully it would do. He had also gotten all the rats, guinea pigs, hamsters and gerbils.
Currently one balloon was sticking out of April's mouth by its string, her left cheek bulging and moving a bit. Glaring at Raphael she spit out a traumatized mouse, catching the string before it could float away.
"I guess the good news is if it works on you, it should work on those tin plated rat catchers," Mikey said. He and Raphael had their hands full of squirming rodents on strings and even a few cat toys.
Sp did April, but while they were still filling the balloons they heard a pair of familiar voices. "Can you believe we can just walk down the streets and ain't nobody screamin'?"
"Yeah, but ta be fair, these days they don't scream at all mutants. Just us cause we keep shootin' tings." Rocksteady and Bebop, eating ice cream, sauntered into view. "hey look, it's the toitles!"
"Some of 'em anyways. Let's get 'em!"
"April we'll…" The turtles began.
April said, "Hold these!" She handed them her own balloons and then while they were struggling to keep them from floating away she did a back flip, hitting the two oncoming mutants in the chest with her boots and sending them flying as she landed nimbly on her toes.
Raphael sniffed. "Yeah well you're a mutant cat. Try those moves with a hundred pounds of shell and the reflexes of the world's slowest aquatic reptile."
"Yeah, maybe we can get Master Roshi to lend you one."
Giggling April jumped and twisted, landing on the fallen goons as they tried to pull weapons, batting them away with a snarl. She dug her claws into their chests kneading them a little and making them flinch and cry out. Then she grabbed them by the ears and yanked them close enough to see her teeth. "At this size a housecat is basically a tiger. Do you know what tigers eat?"
"Uh, meat?" Rocksteady guessed nervously.
"Right. And do you know what you two are made of?"
"Meat?" Bebop said again.
She nodded. "So which do you want boys? Should I be a lady, or a tiger?"
"Uh, hows about we just leave and pretend we never saw nothin'?"
"Good call pork chop," she snarled. "But first, tell us what Shredder's plan is."
"He ain't got one," Rocksteady said. She roared like a jaguar. "No seriously. He just had all that extra mutagen that Krang looking Shredder left and he decided it'd keep you all busy if he dumped it on the city. No plan. Just Shredder bein' Shredder."
"Yeah! Da boss ain't really up ta nothin'."
She sneered, but said, "I believe you. Get out of here." She stepped off and they scrambled away. Flipping her hair she added, "Some guys just can't handle a strong woman."
"If you're done patting yourself on the back… something that could make cats the new dominant life form if they could all do that… we've got some robots to distract." Sniffing she sashayed back over her hips and tail swinging from side to side. Raphael got his communicator. "Donny, you about ready? We're going to start that distraction soon."
"Yeah, before all these rodents eat their leashes," Mikey said.
"I'm ready to go guys, just let me know when."
"If this works, five it five minutes." He nodded to the others and they let the balloons go. Then April caught a handful of them. "April!" Raphael pulled a plant mister from behind his back and squirted her with it. April hissed and let the strings and their squeaking passengers go. "Be a good girl and we'll buy you some catnip."
"I'll show you catnip." She swiped at him and Raphael ducked his head into his shell, avoiding the claws. From inside he said, "Man, I love being a turtle!"
Up above the mouser robots detected a mischief of mice and rats and other rodents (note: that's what a group of mice and rats is called, a "mischief". No idea why, but a group of sheep is also a flock just like birds while a flock of crows or ravens is a "murder", so who can say?) and their original prime programming as rat catchers kicked in. Shredder had not programmed them to ignore rodents twenty stories up. They had on the other hand been looking for a blimp AKA a balloon.
000
Down in the Technodrome an alarm blared. Shredder looked up and saw that the mousers were converging on a target. It flashed TARGET AQUIRED. A moment later TARGET DESROYED. SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED. Krang looked over and said, "(Blooork) You know that even though it's a flying balloon high above the city they're somehow not destroying the turtles."
"I am going to pretend just for a while that they did," he said. "Hand me that neutrino wrench while I work on this reactor…"
000
April in her cat form was on the TV. Behind her played a clip of Donatello in the Turtle blimp flying over the city with a trail of yellow gas in his wake. "And that's how once again the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have saved this city and restored its citizens to their human forms. This is April O'Meow with tonight's Action Mews. In other news hear about the strange rain of rodent pellets and then rodents that dropped out of the sky and invaded a playground…"
In their lair the turtles looked at her and Leo said, "Action mews?"
She shrugged, rubbing her wrist down her hair and over her whiskers. "Berne thought it was cute and while you guys have made it more acceptable to walk the street as a mutant, if being a bit twee keeps the animal control guys off my tail, all the better. My apartment building has a pretty strict no pets policy. Plus instead of human interest stories now I'm going to do semi-human interest stories."
Donatello said, "I'm sorry we couldn't change you back April. But you and Irma's first mutations were originally caused by manipulations of energy fields. You both reverted when the energy was removed, but the mutagen affected the damaged DNA and stabilized it into the first mutations you experienced."
"That's okay Don, it's not yourrrr fault. Besides it could be worse. I remember that bull that was so unstable it became two and then merged again. Or that swamp water that made people younger. And I was turned into a fish that time. Or a wasp. I spend so much time with you guys I'm surprised I didn't mutate into a turtle or a rat myself. Not that it would have been a bad thing, but considering what you told me about that Hun guy…"
"It's cool April. Just keep being you. Even if you have a tail and a craving for kitty treats."
"Like I said, I'm purrrrrfect. What about Irma?"
"See for yourself." A moment later Irma walked in from another tunnel.
She looked the same, but she was about eight feet tall. She bumped her head and instead of saying "ow" the edge of the roof crumbled under her skull. "Hey April, like the new look?"
"Wow… did you do something different with your hair?"
"Ha-ha, very funny. Do you realize how much a new wardrobe is going to cost? Bras alone are going to be an issue. They don't make Triple Z. Maybe I can offset it by joining the WNBA."
"Sorry I couldn't shrink you down any further," Donatello said, walking up to her. "Like April the mutagen stabilized your earliest mutation from the meteorite. Only this time the energy from the ooze is offsetting your metabolism so you don't need to eat as much." He held up her wrist where a solid band with a red and green triangle was glowing softly. "That wrist control allows you to modulate your size down to this and grow back to fifty feet when you need to. Leo told us how you stopped that riot in downtown the other day. The smaller you are though the more compact your molecules so you'll be stronger and nearly invulnerable when you are this size, so I included a kinetic energy absorber so unless you turn it off you won't destroy much or hurt people. Otherwise you'll be as strong as a fifty foot woman. Either way you're going to be pretty amazing."
"Should be a nice surprise the next time Shredder tries to kidnap us," Irma said flexing. "I'm just glad I didn't turn into a rat again. No offense Splinter. On my paycheck getting my new longer legs waxed will take more work than I like."
Splinter said, "I understand completely. You would not believe how many brushes I go through in a year."
April walked over to her and said, "Well I think you look great." She placed her hands on Irma's chest and leaned up. Irma leaned down and kissed her.
"Mm, I could get used to this," Irma said behind steamed up glasses. "From the feel of those claws and fangs and that tongue though it's a good thing I'm invulnerable… most lesbians have a problem with long fingernails. Sandpaper and knives on tender areas would not have been fun otherwise."
"So you two are…" Mikey began.
Raphael banged his palm on his forehead. "Of course. That's why you never asked us out on dates."
Irma and April shared a "Let him have this one look" before turning and saying. "Oh yeah. Totally. That's why."
"I knew it," the turtles all said as one.
Splinter looked down at the water around his ankles. "Well it's not the Nile, but it'll do." He looked at the girls. "I made a funny."
"Yes, at our expense," Mikey said.
"Having lived celibate in a sewer since before you hatched, I have very little sympathy for you my turtles." He paused. "Is now the time to mention I am pretty sure Michelangelo is a female?"
"What?" Mikey asked. "You're still kidding, right sensei?"
"I don't know Mikey, he might not be. You're mutant reptiles who only just hit puberty. Maybe you should see a herpetologist…"
"While we go back to our apartment," Irma said, picking up April who curled around in her arms and purred. "But you know, you guys… or girls… can call us the next time you need help saving the city." She sighed as she looked down at April. "Always knew I'd end up growing old with a cat…"
"You could have ended up growing old with Vernon," April pointed out.
"You know I think I'm good. You do realize we're cosplaying as She-ra and Catra for Halloween."
"Of course…though you'll look a little silly with a cat tail."
Remembering how Irma had hightailed it back to the city when they were facing off with Leatherhead for the first time the turtles did not hold their breath about her threatening their job as the stars of the show. But they wished the girls a good night as Irma lurched off home.
"You know they're going to want to play with us all the time now," Raphael said.
"And April was looking pretty good when she took on Rocksteady and Bebop."
"Irma too," Leonardo said.
"You don't think they'll take our jobs, do you?" Donatello asked.
Splinter rubbed his chin. "Something tells me that at least in the immediate future they will be otherwise occupied."
"How do you know that master?" Don asked.
"I sometimes forget how young you are. Let us just say that if you were taking April home after kissing her like that, I am certain you too would be busy for some days to come." They stared at him blankly. "Forget it my turtles. Just focus on your training and finding Shredder."
"Oh, well that seems like a good plan,' Leo said. "Maybe we can ask that Vincent guy who lives two sewers over sometime for the details. Though getting past the C.H.U.D.s could be a problem…"
"But first," Mikey added.
"PIZZA!" They all shouted.
Next time: April and Irma are invited to join a superhero team with the lizard lady Mona Lisa and Ninja All Star Lotus Blossom. They are soon more popular than the guys, but it does not take long before infighting, helped along by Shredder's mother returned to youth by the mutagen waters of Leatherhead's swamp, gets the best of them.
Depending of course on whether or not you guys take five minutes to review this sucker! I expect at least ten from different people containing at least three sentences each explaining what you liked or did not, so I can do better on the next one.
Author's Note
I tried to keep it to the style and time limit of the old episodes.
Mostly I wrote this one because I got the whole 80's series on DVD at Walmart (who knew the dad from Fresh Prince of Bellaire was the voice of Shredder?) for a pretty decent price and I just kept seeing Irma and April as a couple.
For the record April and Irma as a couple isn't exactly a huge leap. In "The Old Switcheroo" Irma actually told April she would share a guy with her and the two were always complaining about men and frankly their options were kind of limited. She pointedly told April once that she needed an engagement ring and April said she would talk about it later, she dragged April into a jewelry store to look at them, dressed her up, saved her with super powers, they went on a European vacation together, the owner of the station took one look while rewarding them and decided they should go on a two week Hawaiian vacation together, and by season 4 they were always together in the van…
Casey Jones in the old series wasn't exactly a catch unless you're a huge fan of Dirty Harry (off his meds) and I'm not sure the turtles are actually compatible with human anatomy. The other guys they ran into weren't exactly great either. And let's face it they both give off a pretty big "I like girls" vibe. Maybe it's the yellow jumpsuit and the sensible shoes (and you can easily picture April's lipstick and hickeys under Irma's turtle neck sweater). To quote April, "Rock with me Irma! Do it harder!" Sure they were tied up together on a giant lens watching the sun rise over Italy, but that doesn't exactly hurt the image.
I think even the creators got that which explains why in later series they toned down Casey's psycho vibe (and yes, the one from the first movie is still less intense than the original cartoon version) and wrote Irma out of the later series and movies. Even made a really big deal about April and Casey's wedding and great grandson. God knows there's plenty of fan art online.
The 80's April is still the hottest version of the character and Irma was not bad in a Velma sort of way (plus it's funny she wears turtle neck sweaters) and she is extremely… love oriented. Perhaps trying too hard to hide it or make April jealous? If made today they probably would have been a canon couple. It definitely felt like the two of them were going to be together forever. I mean Kimber and Stormer from Jem got together in official comics. She-ra and Catra, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, Bertha and Prudence from Beetlejuice, Carmen Sandiego and her Ivy too. Webby from Ducktales got a girlfriend and Goslin from Darkwing Duck… well she's got that same vibe. My Little Pony has lesbian couples, which is not surprising since girls outnumber guys 9-1. The creators of Scooby admitted Velma likes girls and Janine from the Ghostbusters struck me as at least willing to experiment and pretty sick of guys by the end of the series. Even PBS has lesbian couples in its cartoons. And so on and so forth. If they make a new Kim Possible she and Shego will likely hook up.
What can I say? Romance is always so much better when there are no men involved. And there are plenty of eighties and nineties cartoon girls who would have been lesbians if they allowed that sort of thing on TV back then. Gods know it's kind of weird that after 3000 years on an island where men are killed on site Wonder Woman doesn't have at least one or two girlfriends before trying to date guys.
Of course now they are allowed o do it, so maybe Irma will be April's girlfriend in the next one and we can stop shipping her with Kurai. In Batman VS The TMNT they had a girl who sort of looked like her being dumped in a pizzeria.
And April and Irma were getting attacked by tentacles and covered in slime together before it was popular in anime. April even did the cat girl thing.
Vincent from Beauty and the Beast and the CHUDs are eighties references you can look up.