Thanks to the anon on tumblr who requested a fic with Upstead and their baby dancing to the record player! This was a fun one to write! Hope you enjoy!
Title from 1984 by Night Traveler
All the parenting books said to sleep when the baby sleeps. Which sounds like great advice.
Except when the baby doesn't sleep.
Jay feels like they have tried everything to get Olivia back to sleep. They have fed her, changed her, rocked her in the rocking chair they have in the corner of her nursery. Jay even took her for a drive around the neighborhood in the hopes it would put the six-month-old to sleep.
That's normally the trick. When all else fails, a drive around at night with either Jay or Hailey will put their little girl into a deep sleep. But then there's tonight and even their secret weapon isn't working.
Jay sighs, a mix between disappointment and a breathy yawn, as he unlocks the front door, Olivia's car seat firmly in his left hand. It's past three in the morning and Jay hopes that when he opens the front door, he will find the living room empty, a sign that Hailey went back to bed and caught at least forty-five minutes of sleep for the night. But when he sees her sitting quietly on the couch, he feels his disappointment grow.
"Why are you still up?" He asks quietly as he closes the front door. At this point, he's not even sure why he's whispering, Olivia already wide awake and fussy in her car seat, but it makes him feel like he's got some sense of control of the situation.
Hailey turns around on the couch with a sigh of her own and he can see the tiredness in her eyes. "Apparently not being able to sleep is contagious these days."
"Babe," Jay says sympathetically. He puts Olivia's car seat down on the ground and crouches down to get her out, glancing at Hailey once or twice as he does so.
"I should have taken her," Hailey whispers as he continues unbuckling Olivia. "Give you a chance to actually get some sleep."
"Doubt I'd be able to sleep either," Jay murmurs as he stands, placing Olivia on his hip and walking over towards where Hailey is sitting on the couch. He goes to sit next to her, settling Olivia on his lap as he turns to Hailey as he says, "I can't sleep if you're not there."
Instead of smiling, Hailey immediately throws her head back in a quiet groan, making Jay chuckle. "Don't be all sweet and romantic. I'm too tired for that."
"Don't blame me. Blame-"
As if on cue, Olivia starts fussing again, arching her back against Jay as her cries fill the room. Jay turns her around so she is facing him and she continues to squirm in his grasp, crying and scrunching up her face in pain.
"Come on, Lulu," Jay coos softly as he bounces their daughter in his lap, which only makes her cries worsen. "It's okay, baby."
"Let me try," Hailey reaches her hands out and Jay gives Olivia over without a fight, the little girl still squirming and crying as her mother takes her. Hailey stands up and adjusts her grasp on Olivia so she is resting against Hailey's chest, her one arm underneath Olivia's bottom and her other around the baby's back.
Jay watches as Hailey bounces Olivia in her arms, walking out from behind the couch into the open space of the living room. Olivia continues to cry, Hailey shushing her and whispering something to her.
"This calmed her down yesterday," Hailey says, becoming more and more disappointed that she can't help Olivia. "Damn teething."
"I know," Jay whispers as he gets up from his spot on the couch and walks over to where Hailey and Olivia are. He leans against the dresser that Hailey is standing by, his eyes trained on Hailey as she continues to bounce Olivia in her arms, slowly becoming mesmerized by the scene in front of him.
There are countless things he loves about being a father. Watching Olivia grow up, going from a fragile newborn to a healthy six-month-old. Seeing her smile at the end of a long workday when all he could think about for hours was that sweet little face. Hearing her laugh when he calls her his signature nickname, "Lulu," the one that he has called her since she was still in her mother's belly.
He has loved holding her in his arms on the hard days and playing with her on the good days. He's loved watching her explore the world and become her own little person. He's loved every moment.
He's even loved the moments that he does not love. The moments where Lulu is screaming her head off in the middle of the night and won't go to sleep no matter what they do. The days where she is miserable from teething or from being sick and won't give them a moment to breathe. The mornings where she spits up on her fresh outfit or when she makes a mess of herself not even five minutes after she gets out of the bath.
Jay loves all those hard moments – the crying and the messes and the sleepless nights – because when he looks at that little girl, all he feels is love. He sees bright blue eyes and a smile that reminds him of her mother and all of the sudden, he is falling in love with Hailey and Olivia all over again.
It's just like now. Watching Hailey sway with Olivia in her arms, pleading with the little girl to stop crying, he can feel his heart skip a beat. Because that's his wife holding their daughter and those thoughts are still so incredibly overwhelming, even after all of this time.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jay catches a glimpse of the old record player on the dresser next to him, and immediately, he has an idea. Without a word, he turns around and moves over to where they keep their records, going through them quickly until he finds one that will work. He can feel Hailey's gaze beading against his neck, but he continues his task, taking the black vinyl out and putting it on the record player.
"What are you doing?" She asks quietly, the question somewhat muffled by Olivia's continued cries.
"I have an idea," he tells her, adjusting the arm so it's hovering over the record and dropping the needle so it's running smoothly against the vinyl. For a moment, he holds his breath, the only sound being Olivia's cries, and then, Frank Sinatra's voice starts to fill up the room.
"Christmas music?" Hailey asks as Jay turns around and her face is a mixture of confusion and tiredness. "Jay, it's the middle of the night."
"I know," Jay hums as he takes a step forward, moving towards Hailey and reaching out for Olivia. Hailey easily hands her over, the little girl fussing as Jay settles her against his chest, her head going to rest in the crook of his neck. His one arm settles under her bottom and the other goes to gently rub her back, trying to soothe her as he starts to sway just the same way Hailey was going moments ago.
"What are you doing?" Hailey asks again, quietly watching as Jay and Olivia sway in front of her.
"Trying to get her to go back to sleep," Jay whispers softly, like it's the most obvious thing, and he thinks that if Hailey had any more energy, she might be rolling her eyes. But instead, she looks at him curiously, waiting for him to say more, eyes scrunched up and an unsure expression on her face.
"With Christmas music?"
Jay shrugs his shoulders lightly, just enough that Hailey can see it but not enough that it will disrupt Olivia. "She likes music. It sometimes calms her down. Plus, it's almost Christmas, so…"
"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Hailey asks, shaking her head.
"What?" Jay laughs softly, glancing down at Olivia before looking at Hailey again. "No one can be sad while listening to Christmas music."
"Yet you get mad every time I turn it on in the truck," she points out, a knowing look painting her face, and he knows she has a point.
He remembers the first year of their partnership, they were driving back from interviewing the family member of a suspect who lived over an hour outside the city. It had been a long day and they were both exhausted, not ready to have a conversation, and barely able to keep their eyes open for the drive home. Jay told her to just turn on the radio in the hopes that something, even some annoying song that he didn't like, would help keep him awake for the remainder of the trip.
It was late November and of course, the first radio station was playing Christmas music. Jay can't even remember what the song was, probably some pop version of an older classic. Immediately, he glanced over to Hailey, asking her to change it.
"It's Christmas music, Jay," she groans tiredly. "You really got a problem with Christmas music?"
"It's annoying. Please? Just put on country or something normal."
Hailey sighs as she leans forward, fiddling with the radio nob in the search of a station that doesn't come through with static. When she finds another station that actually comes in clearly, she pauses, waiting to see what is playing and, once again, it's Christmas music. She tries again, and then again, and then, on the fourth station, Jay tells her to just give it a rest.
"You sure?"
"It's all gonna be Christmas music," he sighs. "We can deal with it for another thirty minutes"
He doesn't remember the song, but he remembers the look on her face, the soft smile she was sporting, and the way he swears he heard her humming along to a song or two. They had only been partners for a handful of months at that point, but he thinks that was one of the first times he realized how much she meant to him. He started to see that he liked spending time with her, not just at work, but also in the simple moments. Throughout the drive, he found himself glancing at her more and more, studying the way her eyes lit up at certain songs or the way she tapped out the beat of the song against her thigh.
After a few songs, he turned the volume up and if Hailey noticed, she didn't say anything.
The next year was the same conversation and Jay was always able to win with the argument that he didn't listen to music in the truck while they were working. Truth be told, Jay was not really in the celebrating mood, having recently found out about Hailey's relationship with Adam, which left him alone to figure out his own complicated feelings. It was easier to say no to the Christmas music in general and blame the fact that they were on the clock.
But by his third year of knowing Hailey, she was in his truck during their off time too. They were close by that point, straddling that fine line of friends and something more, and Jay is sure there are many nights where they were driving back to one of their places or to a bar across town where they could get a little bit of privacy and Christmas music came on the radio.
"We're not even on the clock! What's your excuse this time?"
"The song's annoying. What the hell even is a partridge?"
"You're an actual grinch, you know that?"
As the years went on, though, he fought her on the Christmas music a little less. Because it was hard to say no when she looked at him with that smile or when she slipped her hand into his while he was driving. If it was on in the apartment, he didn't say a word, just enjoyed the way she swayed or hummed and the fact that he got to be there, celebrating the holidays with her at all.
And then there's today and he's the one putting on the Christmas music and he gets why Hailey is so surprised. It's not something he has ever done but right now, it feels right.
Without another word, Jay adjusts his grip on Olivia and reaches out for Hailey, a sweet smile on his face. When she cocks her head at him in confusion, he just softly laughs, whispering to her, "Dance with us."
Hailey smirks at him but she's quick to take a step forward, her arm wrapping around his waist as she softly jokes, "You're full of surprises tonight." Her other hand steadies itself on Olivia's back, supporting the girl against her father's side, leaving Jay's other arm free to pull Hailey closer to the two of them.
"Swaying calms her down," Jay murmurs and it's not like it's not true. Normally Olivia will settle if one of them sways her back and forth in their arms. That's all he's trying to do right now. Calm his daughter back down enough that she'll go back to sleep. The added bonus of soft music in the background and holding his wife close doesn't hurt either.
"Yeah, it does," Hailey whispers, starting to gently rub against Olivia's back, softly hushing the baby girl. They sway like that for a while, dancing around in tiny circles as the song ends and another one begins. He feels Hailey's hand pressed against his back and Olivia warm against his chest, and suddenly, he does not care what time it is or how tired they are going to be in the morning. All he can think about is how he would rather be here, living in what he is sure will quickly become one of his favorite memories, then sleeping peacefully in his bed.
This feels like one of those moments he did not even know to be excited about when Hailey told him he was going to be a father. One of those moments that surprises him but makes his heart swell with love. Like when Olivia smiled at him for the first time. Or watching Hailey lay on the couch with a sleeping Olivia on her chest. This moment, and countless others, are all reminders of just how lucky he got and how much he loves the life he is living.
It's the middle of the night and their daughter is crying, and they are both incredibly tired. But there is Christmas music flooding the apartment and Jay is dancing with his two favorite girls, and everything feels right in the world.
As the third song begins to enter into its chorus, Oliva's cries start to lessen, and Jay feels the little girl still against his chest. He continues to sway with Hailey and Olivia for a moment, hoping it's not just a temporary pause, but the cries continue to soften until it sounds like she is starting to settle. Carefully, he glances down and sees that Olivia is curling up against his neck and he smiles when she lets out a small yawn, her cries finally subsiding.
"I think it's working," Hailey looks up at Jay with wide eyes, with a certain sparkle that was not there moments ago. That look alone is enough for his heart to skip a beat and he leans forward, mindful of Olivia against his chest, and presses a soft kiss against Hailey's head.
"Lulu likes Christmas music," Jay hums as he pulls away, smiling at the way Hailey laugh's quietly at his comment.
"I think she does," Hailey smiles in agreement. They continue to dance around in the living room for a moment, both of them glancing down at Olivia, whose eyelids are starting to droop close before Hailey laughs quietly and asks, "Does this mean you like Christmas music now?"
Jay smiles and he does not even need to ask what she means by that. Over the past few months, she has teased him about how everything Olivia loves has become something that he loves too. When Olivia was going through a phase where bath time was her favorite, Jay swore it was his favorite time of the day. And when Olivia started to enjoy looking at the large colorful books they bought her, the ones where she could pull at the flaps and reveal another picture or run her hand over different textures on the pages, Jay would always try to sneak in an extra few minutes of reading with her.
"I'll probably fight the Christmas music a little bit less," Jay laughs, even though they both know that he'll probably never fight it again if it's something that makes Hailey or Olivia happy. By the way Hailey smiles up at him, dimples on display, it's clear that she knows that. Hailey drums her fingers against his back and hums happily, and as Jay looks down at her, he all of the sudden forgets why he had a problem with Christmas music in the first place.
"Question is," Jay continues, catching Hailey's attention. "If I'm on board with Christmas music, does that mean you two are going to keep dancing with me?"
A warm smile grows on Hailey's face, and he's barely done asking the question before she is happily nodding. "Yeah, we will…although, I wouldn't mind if we changed the time. Maybe schedule all the dancing in the afternoon?"
"Talk to our daughter," Jay whispers, still in awe of how those words sound. He's holding their daughter and he's dancing with his wife. Just a few years ago, this all felt like a pipe dream and now, it's all his reality.
"Maybe by next Christmas she'll figure out that you're supposed to sleep at night," Hailey jokes.
"Maybe," Jay agrees softly. "But until then, I don't really mind getting her to sleep like this."
"Me either," Hailey murmurs, leaning forward to rest her head on the free side of Jay's chest, opposite Olivia. Jay snakes his arm tighter around her, hand brushing against her lower back as she leans against him.
They continue to dance along to the music filling the apartment, even well after they are sure that Olivia is asleep in between them. As tired as he is and as much as he knows that they should get a little bit of sleep before work tomorrow, Jay can't find the strength to tear himself away from this moment.
Because he's got the two loves of his life right here in his arms. When he looks down, he can see his wife happy and his daughter safe, and he wants to stay here for a little bit longer. He wants to remember everything about this moment. The sound of Olivia breathing, the feeling of them both against him, the soft whispers of "I love you" that he and Hailey share.
They continue dancing until the music fades, still swaying when silence envelops the apartment. Quietly, Hailey hums out the tune of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" so faint that Jay almost can't hear it and it makes him think of all the past Christmases when she would hum along to a similar tune.
Only this time, he is humming along with her.
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