Haven't seen Spider-Man: No Way Home yet but I plan to see it soon. In the meantime, I hope you will enjoy this, do not get me started on how stupid the Iron Dad trope is, however and it's a wonder why Aunt May didn't call Tony out on his treatment of Peter in Civil War or Homecoming and I find it stupid how they stripped Peter of what made him classic Spider-Man and turned him into Iron Man Fanboy No. 1 to prop up Tony. I've already done a similar crack fic in Arrowverse but I thought, 'Why not?'

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel Cinematic Universe.

"You're not trying to blackmail my nephew into going with you into another country again, are you?" Aunt May asked.

"No. This is more of the 'internship' thing and I don't mean web-slinging. I've got a machine I'm working on and I'd like to ask for Peter's help." Tony said.

"O…kay. As long as there are no webs or armors or guns or anything like that involved." Aunt May said and Peter nodded.

"Don't worry, Aunt May, it's gonna be fine." Peter assured as Aunt May smiled and kissed him on his cheek and fondled his hair.

"Play nice." Aunt May said before she left.

"So, what were you working on again?" Peter asked.

"Behold… Spider-Bot!" Tony said, showing Peter a miniature robot shaped like a spider.

"But I already have a Spider-Drone." Peter said.

"Yeah, but this baby is Spider-Drone 2.0, it has upgrades your bot doesn't have. Still got some tweaks to do and it's a prototype, so I was hoping you could help with some ideas." Tony said.

"OK." Peter said.

They were wearing goggles and doing some adjustments to the Spider-Bot with some tools before Tony closed the Spider-Bot's cover.

"OK. Turn it on." Tony said.

"OK." Peter said as the Spider-Bot turned on.

"Hello, Peter." Karen said.

"Hey, Karen." Peter said.

"What 'Karen' means, kid?" Tony asked out of curiosity.

"No abbreviation, just a name I liked." Peter shrugged.

"Peter, you have to make the name worth something meaningful, like a good abbreviation. Otherwise it's gonna bug you and you gotta kill those bugs." Tony said.

"Kill mode activated. Detecting bugs." Karen said as they saw a bug fly around and their eyes widened.

"Karen, wait, deactivate—"

Spider-Bot jumped with a spike, about to impale the bug but missed as it landed on the ceiling.

"No! Deactivate kill mode!" Peter said.

"Target still alive." Karen said.

"We haven't tweaked the programming, it won't listen!" Tony said as the Spider-Bot started to shoot and attack and trash the apartment, while trying to kill the bug.

Ten minutes later

"Well, I think I still have to make some adjustments to your AI." Tony said.

"You think?" Peter asked sarcastically as Tony picked the trashed Spider-Bot before they heard the door open and they looked around, sighing in relief, since they at least managed to clean up the mess.

"I'm home!" Aunt May said as she looked around. "Anything interesting happened?"

"No. We're fine." Peter said.

"All good, May." Tony said as he chuckled, patting Peter on the back as Peter laughed awkwardly.

"OK, I'm gonna go freshen up and then I'll make you a steak, if you're hungry." Aunt May said, hanging her coat and heading to bathroom, unbuttoning her shirt.

"Mr. Stark, did you clean up the bathroom?" Peter asked.

"I thought you did." Tony said, looking at Peter in confusion before their eyes widened and they paled.

"Aunt May, wait—" Peter started, when Aunt May entered the bathroom to see the mirror and tiles and the bathtub shattered, curtain ripped and bathroom accessories lying on the floor as Aunt May had her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Anthony Edward Stark!" Aunt May exploded.

"I know a guy, Captain Rogers and Barton might be able to clean it up, be right back, see ya!" Tony said quickly as he put on his nanite Iron Man suit.

"Don't you dare! I'll have some words with you—"

"Oh! And don't worry, I'll bring you some nice chocolate cake when I get back!" Tony said quickly as he flew out through the window.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR PETER AGAIN!" Aunt May shouted and Peter tensed. Well, he was not going to argue with Aunt May on that front. At least she wasn't directing her wrath on him this time, like when she had caught him in his Spider-Man suit.

Poor May and Peter, LOL! Tony, not so much.

Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.

With regards

Bl4ckHunter