Author's note: I forgot how old Noah was and in my head in this fic, he's 8-years old.

Christmas Snowstorm

Olivia climbs the frosty footsteps to Elliot's apartment, her stiletto heels crunching into blankets of snow. She regrets wearing her red, silk blouse, which dips between her breasts and ties up together at the front in two gold laces. It compliments her olive complexion and seemed festive at the time, until it began snowing, fluffy snow melting wet patches into her blouse. Wearing this top with her black jeans, freshly curled hair, shadowy makeup and stiletto heel boots, Olivia feels like she's masquerading as someone else. Another woman who washes, blow-dries and curls their hair every day and doesn't just reach for the first clean clothes they can find. Even Noah noticed that she had taken longer than usual to get ready.

Olivia convinces herself that it has nothing to do with seeing Elliot tonight.

Noah trails behind her, oblivious to his mother's anxieties.

Olivia takes in a steady breath and then knocks.

Elliot answers the door. He struggles to contain the smile that breaks across his features.

"Liv, you made it. I wasn't sure if you were going coming."

Olivia winces slightly. "Sorry I didn't call. The date snuck up on us."

At the mention of us, Noah steps from behind Olivia and leans close to his side, nervous. He watches Elliot with guarded eyes.

Olivia gestures to her son and introduces him. "This is Noah. Noah, this is my old friend I've been telling you about, Elliot."

Elliot crouches a little to lower himself to his level, passing him a soft smile. "Hey Noah. I'm glad to finally meet you, Liv's told me so much about you."

Noah nods, his body softening with ease as he takes in Elliot. "You, too."

Elliot's ears prick up at his and his eyes flicker to Olivia's, curious, but her eyes remain composed, not giving anything away. Noah steps forward and offers Elliot a container, layered with sponge cake, jam, custard and cream.

"We brought you some trifle, Mom made it."

Elliot raises his eyebrows at her as he accepts the food. "Thanks Noah." He glances at Olivia, a teasing glint in his eye. "You baked huh? Should I be worried?"

Olivia casts him a stern look and casts Noah a warm smile. "Noah helped me. He's turning out to be quite the pastry chef, you should see his cookies."

Elliot notices the way Olivia looks at her son, a proudness that radiates across her features and in her eyes. Noah bows his head down, a little bashful.

"That's great Noah. Maybe you can help my mama with her cookies? We're still decorating the Christmas tree…would you like to help with that too?"

Noah lifts his head up and grins, nodding. He turns to Olivia. "Can I?"

Olivia nods slowly, smiling. "Of course, honey."

Elliot steps back and allows them inside. A breathy wow falls from Noah's lips, in awe at their house which is four times the size of their apartment; with its floor to ceiling windows revealing city views and polished, hard wood floors, opening to the spacious living room where their Christmas tree stood.

Olivia breathes back a small laugh when she sees Noah already bouncing on the balls of his feet, eager to join the rest of Elliot's family who were decorating the tree and hanging tinsel, holly and other twinkling trinkets from the ceiling. Olivia is about to join them and say hi to Kathleen when Elliot reaches for her arm, encouraging her to turn around.

"Thanks for coming Liv. I'm really glad to see you."

Shock blooms in Olivia's eyes, then fades. She doesn't miss the way his eyes briefly flicker down her frame, before locking back onto hers. There's a heat in his eyes that makes her pulse race.

Olivia nods, her lips tilting into a hint of a smile. "Me too," she lowers her eyes briefly then says, "Noah was looking forward to this as well. Our apartment can't fit a Christmas tree this size."

"Mom, they have chocolate Santas on the trees, and reindeers, and mistletoe!"

Olivia's head snaps up at this and she follows Noah's gaze, finding the evergreen, mistletoe leaves dangling from the ceiling. She raises her eyebrows and casts Elliot a warning look. Elliot almost chuckles at her concern and raises his hands.

"Hey, I wasn't in charge of decorations, I promise."

Olivia is still eyeing him suspiciously as he and Noah hurry off. She studies the mistletoe for a moment, curious as to who put it there. Then she shakes her head, breathing out a chuckle at her ludicrous thoughts.

Olivia doubts Elliot placed it there but can't help but wonder if someone else from the Stabler family did, wanting to play match maker for tonight. It wouldn't be the first time someone from Elliot's family made suggestive comments about their relationship.

…

The Christmas tree is stunning, winking red, gold and silver.

Olivia is kneeling next to the tree, hanging the last few decorations up as Kathleen chats excitedly about her holiday plans. However, Olivia's attention is on Elliot and her son. Too short to reach the top of the tree, Elliot had offered for Noah to climb onto his shoulders so Noah could hang the gold star. Now Elliot is standing under the ceiling with Noah sitting on his shoulders, legs dangling around his neck as Eli, Seamus, and Kieran (who took a liking to Noah straight away) feeds Noah tinsel and tape, and Noah attempts to tape it to the ceiling.

Olivia watches the tender care Elliot shows towards Noah, the warmth and playfulness in his tone, the way he gently guides Noah's hands when helping him to decorate.

Olivia forgot how good Elliot is with kids.

"Mom, how does it look?"

Noah proudly points to the string of red and silver tinsel hanging from the ceiling and stretching out to each corner of the room, curved in little u shapes across the wall.

Olivia smiles. "It looks great honey."

Elliot crouches to the ground and lets Noah drop from his shoulders.

"If anyone's free, I could use a hand decorating these cookies!" Bernie pops her head into the room, flashing the children – Noah, Kieran and Seamus – a smile.

Noah shares a grin with Kieran and Seamus and the three of them hurry after her.

Kathleen stands up and brushes flakes of tinsel off her jeans, saying, "I better keep an eye on them, we don't want anyone setting the fire alarm off again."

"Don't ask," Elliot says when he sees Olivia's questioning look. "It was taco Tuesday; Bernie was cooking tortillas. She, ah…forgot to take them out."

Olivia nods, letting out a small ah. She stares out towards the arched doorway separating the living room from the kitchen, where she can hear Bernie 's warm voice warning that the cookies are hot.

"Noah's making friends quickly."

Elliot follows her gaze. "I'm not surprised, he's a sweet kid Liv. You did an amazing job."

Olivia blinks, a little taken back by the compliment. "I'm blessed, he is an incredible kid." She meets his eyes and says, "Thank you, for doing all of that."

Elliot raises his eyes. "Doing what?"

Olivia lifts her shoulder to her ear and gestures to the side, exhaling, trying to find the words. "You know, inviting Noah to hang the star, making him feel like a part of the family. It means a lot."

Elliot swallows, swept up in the sincerity in her words. "It's Christmas Liv, I – we all want you and Noah to feel included." He's silent for a moment, then tilts his head towards the tree.

"The tree looks great by the way. So do you."

Olivia blinks, startled. "What?"

Elliot lifts his shoulder up in a nonchalant shrug, his lips curling into a flirtatious smile that crinkles around his eyes. "I'm saying that top is nice. You look good Liv."

There it is again, that same, heated look. Elliot squints slightly, watching her, half amused and half curious at her shock.

Olivia exhales a small, incredulous laugh. She turns her head away, escaping his intense gaze.

Elliot arches a brow. "What?"

"Since when do you notice what I wear?"

Elliot shrugs once more, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I never notice."

Olivia tilts her head to the side, studying him curiously. Olivia thinks about how he's changed since they found Eli that night. His features are softer, his eyes less guarded, his body less tense. It's like his titanium walls have melted, opening a new side to Elliot; the challenging and curious arch of his brow, the fire that dances in his eyes as they penetrate her soul, the way his tongue moistens his lips, which quirk into the faintest of smiles, giving away his desires. Warm, playful.

His feelings for her are completely out in the open, named and acknowledged. He's not afraid to hide how he feels anymore.

It terrifies her.

Olivia finally tears her eyes away, breaking the tension. She begins to stand, her eyes finding the mysterious mistletoe once more, dangling at the centre of the room.

Olivia tilts her head towards the green trinket and asks, "So, who is overseeing the decorations then, if not you? You're not the least bit curious that someone wanted to hang mistletoe when everyone else, except me and Noah, are part of the Stabler family?"

Elliot arches a brow. "What are you saying Benson, that I put it there to kiss you?"

Once again, Olivia is taken back by his bold honesty. She gestures to the side and parts her mouth, then closes them, unable to find the words.

Elliot steps forward once, then twice. Olivia's heart skips a beat at the closing distance. She holds her stance firm, even as his eyes flicker slowly down her frame, lingering on the whisper of lace at the top of her blouse before trailing back up again, making her want to quiver.

Elliot's voice lowers. "If I were you Captain, I'd be asking why someone who has no interest in standing underneath this mistletoe with me, keeps trying to draw my attention to it."

…

Olivia is tipsy.

She's sure that it's the four glasses of Christmas passionfruit punch and cotton candy clouds expanding in her mind, making her float, that is filling her with reckless thoughts.

And that's why all night, she hasn't been able to stop staring at Elliot, or that God damn mistletoe.

During Christmas dinner when she was two drinks in, Olivia kept admiring the stubble peppering Elliot's jawline and creeping down the slope of his neck, cutting off at the collar of his shirt.

Three drinks in, Olivia was wondering what it would be like if the two did stumble under the mistletoe and she could kiss a clear pathway down the slope of his jaw until she was sucking at the hollow of his neck.

Olivia would never give him the satisfaction of caving in so easily, letting him win.

Yet four drinks in, Olivia is eyeing Elliot, wondering just what game they're playing and if there is no game, why she's holding back.

"Olivia?"

Olivia startles, breaking from her thoughts, turning back to Bernie, who is setting up the desserts on the dining table (which fortunately, include much more than the soggy looking trifle Olivia assembled).

"Sorry, did I distract you dear?"

Olivia shakes her head, dragging her attention back to Bernie. "No, sorry. Here, let me help you."

Olivia takes the plates from Bernie 's hands and begins to walk around the table, setting down the plates.

Bernie leans over the table to peel the gladwrap off the Christmas cake and begins cutting equal slices, not taking her eyes off her work as she talks. "Elliot's happy that you and Noah are here tonight."

Olivia casts Bernie a curious look. "Really? What makes you say that?"

"I know my son Olivia. And I see the way he looks at you." Bernie finishes slicing the cake and straightens back up, casting Olivia a caring look. "You know, I'm surprised we don't see you around more often."

"Well, Elliot's had a lot on his plate," Olivia speaks carefully as she sets down the last plates, deciding not to address what Bernie was insinuating. "And I've been busy at work and with Noah too."

Bernie nods slowly, a despondent smile tugging at her lips. Then to Olivia's surprise, she takes her hand, giving it a warm, gentle squeeze. "Life is short Olivia. I hope we can see you around here more often."

"Mom!"

Olivia raises her head before she can interpret her reply anymore, a little relieved for the excuse to step away.

Noah hurries into the dining room, his fingers blue and green, and cheeks smudged with red paint. There's a green dinosaur painted on the top of his forehead. "Can you run into Eli's room and get the glitter? Elliot doesn't want us to get paint on the bed."

Olivia's eyes widen with surprise, taking Noah and his mess in. "What's going on?"

He casts her a smile. "We opened Kieran's Christmas paints and started doing some…experimenting," Noah shrugs, then looks at his stained fingers. "It was Kathleen's idea to add glitter."

Olivia tries to ignore the splattered paints on his sweater or think about how long it might take to wash off. "Well, can't Elliot get the glitter?"

Noah shakes his head. "Nope. He's covered in paint too."

Olivia raises her eyebrows, stunned. She follows Noah into the living room. She can see Dickie laying more newspaper out on the floor, Kathleen using the stencil to paint blue stars on Kieran's cheeks, Eli choosing colours with Seamus and Elliot, wiping down some spilt paint on the coffee table with a cloth, two pink candy canes painted on his cheeks.

Olivia breathes out an incredulous chuckle as she takes him in. She leans back against the door, arms folded, and raises her eyebrows at Elliot.

"I didn't think you liked candy canes."

Elliot lifts his head up and shrugs, smiling. "Noah picked it out."

"Actually, this was all Noah's idea," Kathleen pipes up as she swirls her paintbrush into the water, a gingerbread man on her wrist.

Olivia looks at Noah who shrugs, hiding a small smile. "We did it in class last year during connection week. I thought it could be fun."

"It does look like fun." Olivia looks back to Elliot, her eyes softening with concern as she sees the paint stain on the collar of Elliot's shirt. "You're okay with the mess?"

Elliot shrugs, a twinkle in his eye. "We have three kids filled with sugar who got a lot of arts and crafts for Christmas. I feel like mess was unavoidable." Elliot reaches for a paintbrush and tips the end in red paint, gesturing to Olivia's cheek. "Candy cane?"

Olivia laughs, eyeing him thoughtfully. "Okay, but my turn first."

Olivia takes his paintbrush and steps forward, closing more space between them. Olivia's fingers grace over his jaw and down to his front shirt, searching for space. She unbuttons one button, then two, exposing a few inches of skin at the top of his chest. She hears his breath hitch in his throat. Olivia casts him a playful look than leans forward to paint. She's so close that Elliot feels her breath brush against his neck and swallows, hoping she can't hear his hammering heart.

"Liv," Elliot whispers.

Olivia shifts her eyes away from the pink heart she's painted on his chest and follows his gaze up to the ceiling, seeing the mistletoe hanging above them. She stills for a moment.

Then Olivia leans forward and brushes her lips against the corner of his mouth just underneath the candy cane in a chaste kiss, her lips closing around his smile lines. He smells like passionfruit punch. She can sense the shock blossoming across his features as he inhales sharply underneath her.

Olivia smiles into his skin. "Merry Christmas Elliot."

…

Fortunately, the paint washes off easily, and the evening rolls by with dessert, more present opening, and Christmas crackers. Then, Maureen leaves with her children, then Dickie and then Bernie, who retires to bed.

Noah is playing Mario karts with Eli. Olivia is in the kitchen, clicking her Tupperware container shut and preparing to gather the rest of her belongings when Elliot drops by.

"Leaving now?"

Olivia nods. "Apparently the snow's supposed to pick up, I'd like to get back before it gets heavier." Olivia pauses, looking down as she thinks for a moment, then meets his eyes. "Thank you for having us tonight, Noah had fun."

Elliot smiles. "Thank you for coming. I'm glad I finally had the chance to meet him." He hesitates, thinking, then says, "Noah was telling me about his dance lessons. He said he has an end of year recital coming up."

Olivia nods slowly, watching his eyes.

Elliot parts his mouth then closes it. He tries again. "Noah invited me, Eli and Kathleen to come. I wanted to check with you first."

"Oh…" Olivia lowers her eyes, her brows pulling together slightly as she processes this news.

"Liv, we don't have to go," Elliot quickly speaks as he reads her response, then winces slightly, worried about her reaction. "I told Noah I would think about it."

"Elliot, it's not that I don't want you there." Olivia stops, then blows out a small sigh. She looks across the room, trying to find the words, then looks back at Elliot. "You have to understand, you're not the first man to walk into his life offering to teach him cricket or to take him out for ice cream. Noah's had men step into his life to be that father figure, Ed, Peter, Barbara, Nick…and every one of them left. And he's had his heart broken so many times…if you understood what he's gone through…" Olivia swallows painfully, remembering Sheila. Her voice catches in her throat, raw with emotion. "Elliot, I'm grateful that you decorated the tree with him, and painted with him and – and that you're bonding, I just…it's just too soon, and I don't want to get his hopes up."

Elliot searches her eyes, his breath catching when he sees glassy tears forming behind her glassy eyes. He whispers, "Liv, what's this about?"

Olivia presses her lips together and she looks down, folding her arms, shielding her heart. Then she looks back up and says softly, "I don't know how to trust you again Elliot. And I – I don't want to hurt Noah…he's already been through so much."

Elliot's face falls. He understands completely and once again, hates himself for everything he put her through. He steps forward and reaches for her arm, his eyes pleading. "Please Liv…let me try."

Olivia doesn't let him pull her in further, but she doesn't fight him either. She lets him hold her arm, studying him carefully.

Elliot presses on. "I'm not going to leave you again."

Olivia swallows. Then she whispers, "How do I know that?"

As he meets the pain in her eyes, he realises just how much he has hurt her. It crushes his heart.

"Elliot, you leave, and then you come back. You push me away with this letter, and then you say you love me. You go undercover without so much as a phone call for three months, andthen I find out about Angela…"

Olivia stops, swallows back the pain rising in her tone. Finally, she whispers, "I just…I don't know."

Elliot's silent for a moment, anguish crumpling his features. Finally, he whispers, "Liv, I am so sorry…I never wanted – you have every right not to trust me. But please…give me one last chance. I can't lose you again Liv."

Olivia swallows. She searches his eyes, sees nothing but sincerity. She takes a steady breath and tries, "Elliot –"

"Dad, Liv!"

Their heads snap up to see Kathleen, standing at the doorway, panic stricken and a little breathless, like she jogged over. "You need to come and see this."

They hurry into the living room. The Wii has been turned off and Eli and Noah are watching the news with worry, as Warning, heavy Snow Storm flashes on the television screen.

"….A weather alert has been issued for the city of New York as wild Snow Storms are expected. Weather bureaus are warning residents to not leave their home, and if already out driving, to seek shelter immediately…"

Shock and worry expand in Olivia's eyes as she searches the glass windows framing the living room. Olivia sees nothing but white; powdery snow falls everywhere, like an explosion of dust clouding every inch of their home.

"Nobody will be driving out in these conditions," Kathleen says quietly.

"Mom, we won't be able to get home."

Olivia looks at Noah's anxious face and crouches down to embrace him, wanting to draw out his fear.

"You can crash here," Kathleen says firmly, turning around to Eli and Elliot for confirmation. "We all can. I'll bunk with Eli."

Elliot nods. "We'll set up the couch for you two in the living room, it turns into a guest bed."

Kathleen smiles, looking proud. "I told you buying a sofa bed would pay off."

Olivia stands and passes the family a grateful smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry we had to intrude like this –"

"Liv, stop," Elliot says, squeezing for her arm.

Olivia meets his eyes, sees a deep tenderness softening in his gaze. She reaches for his hand on her shoulder and squeezes it. She doesn't need to say anything, she can tell from Elliot's look that he hears her appreciation, loud and clear.

"Come on Liv," Kathleen says, with Noah already standing by her side. "I'll see if I can find something for you two to wear. Bernie keeps spare toothbrushes in her bathroom."

…

It's midnight. Olivia can't sleep.

Fortunately, Noah's sleeping soundly next to her, his legs tangled around the woollen blanket, his chest rising and falling with his content beathing. Olivia's grateful that he fell asleep minutes after he laid his head down on the couch, just before the power outage happened. Olivia pushes his curls from his eyes, admiring the peace softening his features.

Olivia lays her head back down on the pillow and closes her eyes once more. Against her will, the whole evening replays in her mind…she remembers her heart melting when she saw Elliot decorating with Noah, smelling passionfruit and musk when she kissed the corner of Elliot's mouth under the mistletoe, she remembers their earlier conversation…

"Please Liv, let me try…I can't lose you again."

Olivia tosses, then turns. Sighing, she finally sits up.

She needs closure from the conversation, and her mind won't let her rest until she has it. She looks down into the hallway where Elliot's bedroom is, and wonders if he's awake too. She casts one last look at Noah and, reassured that he's sleeping, slips out from under her covers and pads down the hallway.

Olivia presses her ear against the door. She can't hear snoring…slowly, she opens the doorknob and steps inside.

It's completely dark, Olivia can't see a thing. She whispers, "El, are you awake?"

Olivia hears a rustle, the sound of bedspreads moving.

"Liv?" Elliot squints through the darkness, just being able to make out her shadowy form in the doorway.

"I can't sleep," Olivia whispers back sheepishly.

"Come here," Elliot says and pats the area next to him.

Olivia navigates her way through the darkness until she finds his bed. She pats the mattress down, checking that it's empty, then crawls onto it. Her knees bump into his leg as she does so and she wriggles back, making room until she's sitting on the backs of her feet, next to him. Olivia squints in the darkness and can just make out his shadowy form, sitting up right, resting back against the headboard.

"I hope I didn't wake you," Olivia whispers into the darkness.

Elliot runs his hand up the back of his neck as he shakes his head. "I couldn't sleep either."

"Too much on your mind?"

Elliot studies her shadowy form in the darkness. "Something like that. How's Noah?"

Olivia smiles. "Fortunately, he had no problems getting to sleep."

Elliot nods. Instinctively, he reaches for the bedside lamp, then remembers they're in a power outage. "Do you need some light? I think I have a torch somewhere…"

Elliot begins leaning over her to reach his bedside table, but Olivia reaches for his arm, stopping him.

"It's fine. We can just…talk, in the dark?"

Elliot smiles. He sits back up and rests against the headboard.

Olivia bows her head, thinking. They sit in silence for a while. Olivia's about to ask him what's on his mind.

Then Elliot speaks first. "Liv, I ah…have a confession to make…"

Olivia lifts her head up, listening.

"I hung the mistletoe."

The punch hits his arm before Olivia registers throwing it, small and playful.

"Ouch!"

"I knew it," she whispers loudly, then laughs. "What were you thinking?"

Elliot chuckles into the darkness, rubbing his arm. "You can't kill a guy for trying right? And hey, it kind of worked…"

Olivia studies him in the darkness, a small, fond smile gracing her lips. "It wasn't the mistletoe El."

Elliot's ears prick up at this and he looks up, almost hopeful. "Yeah?"

Olivia laughs a breathy, bubbly thing in her chest and looks down. Her hands tangle together in her lap as she thinks. She defined the parameters of their relationship, was specifically cautious, safe. Friends, for now…

Yet somehow the boundaries seem blurrier than before.

Elliot notices her silence. He studies her through the darkness, her bowed head over her lap, almost protective.

"Liv, I meant what I said when I want to find balance here. I want to earn your trust back again. And I want to hear more about your life…what I missed."

"There's a lot you missed El…"

"I'm listening now."

Olivia looks up. She can see his body turn towards her in the darkness, hear how earnest he sounds, waiting expectedly.

"Okay." Olivia takes in a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "You know how I see someone, Dr. Lindstorm?"

"Your psychiatrist?"

Olivia nods. "I started seeing him after the trauma I went through… Before Noah, six years ago, we were investigating reports of sexual assault, and uncovered that the perpetrator was a serial rapist and murderer."

Olivia pauses, thinking that it's easier in the dark, where she can't see his reaction, where she can hide her pain in the velvety shadows. It's only then that she realises that Elliot is holding her hand, supporting her to continue.

"His name was William Lewis. We lost the first court case, he got to the witness first, raped her and then killed her. That weekend, I came home, and he was at my apartment." Olivia feels Elliot tense next to her. "He kidnapped me, assaulted me and held me hostage for three days." Olivia's voice breaks and she squeezes her eyes shut, feels tears biting behind her eyes. She feels Elliot's hand squeezing hers, as if he can take away some of her pain. Despite how many years have passed and how much therapy she's had, the pain still resurfaces with every memory. "The squad found me."

Elliot is speechless.

Olivia knows there's more to share. Lewis interrogated her on the stand, tried to humiliate her and drag her name through the mud, then broke out of prison to lure her out and torture her somehow. But she can feel Elliot tensing underneath her, his breathing growing ragged. Instinctively, she reaches for his hand, which is closed into a tight fist. She can almost feel the bump of his veins as his fist tightens with rage.

"Hey, El…"

Olivia closes her hand over his knuckles, trying to soften his anger.

"I'm so sorry Liv…I-I had no idea…"

Elliot thinks about how this never would have happened if he was still here. He would have taken Olivia home, not let her walk back to her apartment defeated and alone after the gruelling court case. He would have asked her to flash her lights when she was inside.

He would have seen the sick fucker and punched him before he had a chance to lay his hand on her.

"El, please don't…"

Elliot shakes his head, his fist clenching and unclenching, doing nothing to ease the anger bubbling in his body. "How did this happen…how did it take three days to find you…"

"Elliot, stop." Olivia's vice is firmer this time. She crawls over to him, kneeling between his legs. Olivia reaches for the sides of his face, her thumbs mapping over the slopes and curves of his features before settling on his cheeks. She's trying to ground him, to bring him back to her. Olivia hears emotion break in his throat, and she tips her forehead to his, closing the space between them. She whispers desperately, "El, he's dead. He's gone. Don't do this to yourself."

Elliot squeezes his eyes shut. He feels one of Olivia's hands slide down his cheek to find his hand. Slowly, he lets her unravel his clenched fingers, until their hands are intertwined. He can feel her small puffs of air kissing his nose as she holds him close.

"I should have been there."

Olivia brushes her thumb over his cheek and whispers, "You're here with me now. That's all that matters."

Elliot's lips tug into the faintest of smiles at her words. He's overwhelmed with emotion and in awe at her compassion and patience. "I've been such an arse to you Liv. I don't deserve you."

Olivia laughs a breathy, bubbly thing. "You have been an arse, Elliot Stabler." She studies him for a moment, her thumb tracing the corner of his brow and over the slope of his cheek, outlining his face in the dark. "But I don't want to lose you either."

Elliot's heart bursts with hope at her words.

He squeezes her hand once more and says, "Thank you Liv, I'm glad you shared this with me." He runs one hand up her side, feels her shiver slightly against his touch, until he finds her face. His thumb caresses her jaw and bushes a fallen tear from her cheek, then his fingers gently tilt her chin up. "I know it couldn't have been easy…you okay?"

Olivia nods slowly, her cheek leaning further into his touch. "I am now. It's still hard but…it gets easier with time."

Elliot thinks back to where he was months ago when he first came back to New York and Kathy died, compared to where he is right now. Her words resonate deeply with him. Time heals wounds.

They're silent for a moment.

Then Olivia asks, "What are you thinking about?"

Elliot thinks through her words. "Tonight…us."

Olivia raises her head, arching an eyebrow. "Us?"

Elliot lifts his shoulder up in a small shrug. "You kissed me under the mistletoe Benson. Tell me you're not thinking about that too."

Olivia almost laughs, taken back at his boldness. "That wasn't a kiss…that was…us having a moment."

She feels Elliot's fingers trail up her sides, coming to rest on the curves of her waist. She feels his fingers ghost over the whispers of bare skin peeking between her shorts and top and shivers.

"So Liv," he whispers, his lips nearing her jaw. "Will we have anymore moments? Or are we in one now?"

Olivia heart accelerates, realising just how close they are. Her mind is yelling no, yet her body melts under his feathery light touches, never wanting him to stop.

Elliot's tone grows serious when he asks, "What are our boundaries here Liv?"

Olivia's silent. She's been asking herself that question all night. Her mind is demanding her to leave the bed, to put five feet between them. Yet her heart and body are pulling her further into his touch, craving him, missing him after all these years.

Finally, she whispers, "I don't know."

"Is what I'm doing okay?"

Olivia feels his thumbs trail slow circles around her waist.

"Should I stop?"

God no.

Olivia shakes her head, confirming her answer. Then she feels one hand leaving her waist and reaching for her hand once more, unravelling her fingers and bringing them up to his lips. Olivia inhales sharply when she feels his lips brushing over her knuckles, sending her heart galloping.

"What about now?"

Elliot's turning her hand over and placing feathery, light kisses up along her wrist, until his mouth closes over her pulse. Olivia closes her eyes, melting under his touch.

"That okay?"

Olivia manages to muster a breathy, "Yes".

Elliot smirks into her wrist. Then he drops her hand and angles his head towards her jaw, his mouth just skimming along her skin, nose tickling her hair, until his lips are lingering near her ear. "How about this?"

Olivia knows where this is going, knows what he's trying to do. Yet she feels her resolve melting under his touches, reawakening every desire, and feeling she's held towards him for the past twenty-two years, that she's tried tirelessly to keep at bay.

Olivia doesn't answer Elliot. Instead, she turns her head towards him and closes the space between them, capturing his mouth in hers. The kiss is slow at first, gentle. Then Elliot pulls her deeper into the kiss, his lips parting hers and drinking her in, like a drowning sailor starved for air. She feels her skin catch fire wherever he touches her…circling around her waist, up her arms and curving behind her neck to tangle through her hair.

Olivia straddles his waist and pushes her body up against his, wanting to close the space between them as if she can chase away the last ten years that's driven them apart. She wants to close the space until he's inside her and wrapped around her, until she's drowning in his touch, his taste, his musk, in him.

Olivia breathes him in and feels like she's home.

Olivia breaks the kiss first, breathless, her cheeks as flushed as they were when she was four drinks in. She can feel Elliot smiling into her mouth.

Olivia pulls back, studying him in the dark through squinted eyes. An elated smile dances on her lips. She whispers, "Hi."

Elliot chuckles and circles his arms around her waist, pulling her body flush against his, her lips inches from his once more. "Hi."

Olivia runs her hands up his sides and down his cheeks, letting them explore areas that had been forbidden for so long, his jawline, his shoulders, his chest…

Elliot closes his eyes under her touch, and whispers, "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that Liv."

Olivia pauses, surprise blooming in her eyes. "Really?"

Elliot reaches for her hands and intertwines their fingers together. "You really don't know? Liv, I've loved you for years."

Olivia is speechless. All those years she thought she loved him, alone. She was never alone.

Elliot breaks the silence and whispers, "So, where to now Liv?"

Olivia swallows back the trepidation beating in her heart. Once again, he's made it clear how he feels and is allowing her to set the parameters of their relationship. Olivia's eyes flicker down, then she meets his gaze once more though the darkness. "I guess we're not just friends anymore, huh?"

Elliot chuckles. "After you kissed me like that?"

Olivia dips her face down until their foreheads meet and laughs a breathy, beautiful laugh that rumbles in her chest.

Elliot would run to the edge of the world to chase down her laugh.

Elliot brushes her curls from her eyes and Olivia blinks back down at him, thinking. Finally, she says carefully, "How about we don't label it yet…but I let you take me out for dinner?"

Elliot's heart leaps. "Yeah?"

Olivia almost laughs at his joy. "Yeah."

Elliot captures her mouth in his, pure elation consuming him. Olivia laughs into his mouth as she chases down his kiss. When they break apart once more, he's caressing her hips slowly, savouring every inch.

"You know," Elliot says, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "You sitting on top of me, in my bed, is giving my ideas."

Olivia can feel his arousal growing harder underneath her.

"Oh really?" Olivia raises her eyebrows. Then she arches her back and rolls her hips into his, experimenting. She smirks when she hears him groan.

Elliot squeezes her arse and pulls her hips deep towards his, tearing a breathy moan from her throat that rings gorgeously in his ears.

"El…"

Even in the darkness, she can see pure desire flaming in his eyes.

Olivia leans forward, pushing her hips deliciously up against his once more as she does so, and whispers, "Hmm, as tempting as that is, I think you're forgetting our children are in the next room detective." Olivia brushes her lips against his ear, then her lips close around his in a chaste kiss. "Besides, I think we should play the long game here."

Elliot's face falls and Olivia almost laughs at the aching frustration she can sense vibrating throughout his body. "How long are we talking here?"

"Not another twenty-two years, I promise you." Olivia pauses, then says tenderly, "I want this to El. I just need time, okay?"

Elliot nods, understanding. He reaches for her hand and kisses her knuckles. "Take all the time you need Liv. I'll be waiting."

Olivia's heart melts at his words.

They're silent for a moment. Olivia knows she should probably head back soon but can't bring herself to untangle herself from Elliot's body. And judging from the way his arms are encircled securely around her frame, she knows he feels the same.

It's Elliot who speaks first. "We don't have to do anything tonight Liv…but stay, please. For a bit more."

Olivia lifts her head, surprised.

Elliot smiles sheepishly. "I'm not sleeping anyway. Tell me about Noah."

Olivia blinks and tilts her head to the side, curious. "You want to hear about Noah?"

"Of course I do Liv." He squeezes her sides encouragingly. "You never told me how you got him."

Olivia takes another moment to study him, then nods slowly.

Olivia tells him everything.

She tells him about Noah and how she adopted him. She tells Elliot about how she almost lost Noah twice, once when Sheila kidnapped him, and then when she was investigated on false allegations for abuse. Olivia tells Elliot about Cassidy, and Simon, and finally, Ed Tucker.

Olivia knows there's so much more to share. But by then, it's early morning, and she can see faint, morning light peeking from the curtains and bathing the side of the bed in a misty glow. Olivia can see Elliot's face too, and he looks as tired as she is.

"You're tired," Olivia whispers, seeing him fight a yawn. "How about we bookmark this for next time?" Olivia sees him about to protest, and says, "It's early morning. Your family will need you."

Elliot nods. He blinks once, then twice, and says, "To be continued?"

Olivia captures his mouth in a final, tender kiss and whispers, "To be continued."

…

This was so much fun to write! Please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. I'm also taking prompts right now. I plan on flying out to see my family tomorrow and if I need to quarantine, will have so much time to write.

This fic was loosely based off a memory I have when I was at a school fate and my Mum painted stars on my cheeks. I thought it was cute.

Also, okay, so can we please talk about flirty Elliot, and how he's being open with his feelings, openly flirting with Olivia, checking her out and so clearly communicating his desires for her? I am IN LOVE with this Elliot and want it to keep coming! Elliot and Olivia flirting last episode pretty much inspired this chapter too. I NEED MORE OF IT.