and then it was morning
—
Eyes slowly adjusting to the morning light, Donna's forehead creases as she tries to take in her unexpected surroundings. It was definitely not her bedroom, nor any other part of her apartment as given by the huge space and its less lively aura than what she'd prefer for her own home. She lets her eyes roam until her mind eventually picks up on the familiar interior and on the scent tickling her nostrils, realizing just now that her head is laid on a sweater clad chest.
She woke up at Harvey's place. In his living room, to be exact. If the unpleasant pounding in her head isn't enough, the empty glasses on the table would give it away that alcohol is partly to blame for her current state.
This isn't their usual — let it be the part where they both had one too many drinks and ended up having to spend the night in each other's place, or the part where they wake up sitting on the same couch they both deemed uncomfortable for sleeping; Donna's legs tucked together on the couch with one of Harvey's arms keeping her close as her head rests atop his chest.
He had called last night at an ungodly hour which is anything but new for them by now; hiding under the guise of work discussions before conveniently venturing into more personal questions and stories, like they were friends casually catching up and not two colleagues who share the same space 12 hours a day. Donna can't even pinpoint the exact moment when they decided a phone call wasn't enough anymore. In her hazy memory, at one point she was lounging on her own couch and in the next she was suddenly grabbing a coat and leaving her apartment despite the time nearing midnight.
The phones in their hands were replaced by glasses of whatever drink he could offer as she made herself comfortable and Harvey sat right beside her— both exhausted but finding comfort in the assurance that the most significant parts of their friendship remain undeterred by recent events, that Harvey could still lay himself bare in front of her and his every tell is still stored at the forefront of Donna's mind, and the same goes when it comes to her.
—
the previous night:
Halfway into their bottle of scotch, Donna tells him about her recent encounters with the new faces at the firm.
Robert Zane was slowly warming up to her role and while she still can't get a full read on Samantha Wheeler, something tells her the blonde can be more of an asset for their team if they all played their cards right.
She and Harvey have been leaning towards each other more often again lately, allowing themselves to bask in the familiar ease between them amidst all the changes they've been forced to accept.
As he listens to her intently now, though, he can't help but notice the gap between them; like he missed the last few months of her life and they're only reconnecting now.
"I don't think I've asked you enough how you've been adjusting to COO." Because he's been busy dealing with huge changes himself as the firm's managing partner and again when he passed the torch to Robert. Because he brought Paula back into his life and that seemed to have taken a 180 overnight. Because he had yet another fallout with Donna, and just when they were still picking up the pieces and nursing some wounds, their friends moved to a new city and left an entirely new hole in their lives.
He didn't even treat her to dinner or help arrange her new office when she got the promotion and Harvey only realizes now how much he regrets having missed those opportunities. She's been part of every single milestone in his career and he wants to play the same role in hers.
He silently vows, then, to invite her out on a celebration some time soon. It's also the least he could do to thank her for deciding to stay after all that's happened between them.
"I think we both know that job has been waiting for me since our first day at the firm," she says and Harvey smiles with an obvious hint of pride.
It would be a lie to claim he had no difficulties losing her as his secretary for the second time, but it doesn't dispute the fact that he knows her abilities deserve far beyond handling his daily life, and that he's truly happy to see Donna fulfill her own goals, after having put him first for so long.
"So, you got it? The 'more' you were looking for?"
Donna stares at him blankly for a second or two, knowing deep down that, although she has no regrets asking for COO, it didn't turn out to be whatever she was referring to that night at his office. And as she looks at him now, all cozy without his usual armor of three-piece suits, eyes fixed on her with the same warmth she likes to think is reserved only for her — the unsettling pit in her stomach that suggests a different kind of "more" comes rushing back. She takes a sip from the drink in her hand and manages to shove it down just as quick as those thoughts.
She hates that it's becoming easier to lie about them since their screaming match at the lobby, but she also promised herself she won't take the first step again and sometimes that includes shying away from certain truths.
Luck's on her side, though, since she's dealing with someone who often fails to pick up on her half-truths. "I did."
"Good."
He refills their glasses and they briefly talk about Chicago next, how it was for Harvey to work with his mentor again and all his complaints about the city.
Then the newlyweds get mentioned and the air between them noticeably changes; carrying their shared loneliness that's been piling up in the past two months.
"He had a briefcase full of pot on his interview and now he's running an entire firm with Rachel," Harvey recalls, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all.
The kid may have always been full of potential but if anyone had told Harvey six years ago that the fraud he was mentoring would turn into the licensed lawyer Mike is today, he would've laughed at their faces.
"And you wanted to fire him on his first day. Almost passed up on a lot of fun for you and the puppy."
He raises a brow at her direction, certain she wouldn't have objected if he did fire Mike early on. "Like you didn't want me to?"
"Of course I did," she replies, the horror brought by her former boss's reckless decision still fresh in her memory.
She eventually learned to adore Mike and willingly protected him to the best of her abilities, but back then, to her he was more of a threat to Harvey's entire career than anything else.
"Doesn't mean I wasn't glad when you chose not to, anyway."
"Because he brought you coffee every morning?"
"That, and because I knew he might be good for you."
He sets his glass on the table in front of them and angles his body towards her direction.
"Good for me how exactly?"
"Mentoring someone like Mike takes more than just throwing cases at him then letting Louis or Jessica handle the reprimanding. You took him on as your responsibility. You let yourself care about some random kid with a photographic memory but no clear path in his life… That meant a whole lot to the Harvey Specter of six years ago."
"I guess it did."
He doesn't make a big deal of how much he's changed over the years, usually out of being too hard on himself, so it's always been Donna's job.
But as he looks back to the highs and lows of hiring Mike, Harvey allows himself now to recognize the truth in her words.
"Seattle has no idea what they just welcomed," she adds and he huffs out a laugh.
They fall into a comfortable silence after that and his eyes naturally remain trained on Donna, the late hour making him less wary of his actions around her.
"It's just us again now."
He doesn't even realize he said it out loud until Donna meets his gaze, getting a read on his thoughts.
She supposes there should be a trace of bitterness in what Harvey said, but instead finds none. The sentiment is simply meant to appreciate how they were able to stick side by side through all those years, through every single person that's come and go, through every change at work and even in their personal lives.
And maybe this is why Donna came over tonight — to reacquaint themselves in the world where they're back to just being the two of them. No Mike, Rachel, Jessica, and everyone else from Zane Specter Litt. Just two people who were fortunate enough to find someone who could be their partner as they establish their place in the world.
There are times when their unhealthy codependency and the way they're too tied to each other irks Donna, moreso when it stands in the way of her trying to make a life outside of this bubble they've formed around themselves, but tonight is not one of those instances.
She lets out a sigh in mock exasperation, holding up her glass.
"To 14 years of being stuck with your enormous ego."
Harvey picks up his own glass, clinks it with hers, and Donna finds herself mirroring the grin on his face as they pay tribute to how far their friendship has come, despite all the bumps they've had to overcome.
"And to 14 more years."
—
present morning:
The first thing Harvey notices that morning is the never ending trail of red blocking almost everything in his sight.
He blinks once, twice… it doesn't fade away, and his consciousness takes longer than usual before alerting him of the pain in his neck and the numbing in his left arm that's been draped around the woman still comfortably snuggled on his side.
The initial panic begins to rise together with the understanding of just who he's woken up next to. He snuck out in the early hours of The Other Time to avoid an awkward morning, but this isn't the first time they fell asleep in the same bed or couch. It's either the third or fourth, he doesn't really remember since every single one of those times felt all the same — something too right that it causes his breathing to cease, something that feels like a puzzle piece fitting into their empty spaces right when they need it the most.
Then comes a clearer train of thought.
She stayed.
And yes, that can be blamed on the late hour and their inebriation, but it doesn't make the thought of Donna always choosing to stay by his side any less true.
She's here because he needed to find consolation in the knowledge that she's still right there with him, just like all the other times when their midnight phone calls ended with drinks at a nearby bar or at his place.
I'm the person you call at six in the morning, or at midnight when you need someone.
Her words from months ago ring in his ears and he regrets disputing them before by saying he doesn't want more from everything she's mentioned about their relationship. She was right to call him out like that, he just hasn't realized the weight of their connection and its significance until now.
She was his constant, and his earlier wave of panic makes way for a new overwhelming urge to let her know that he is hers, too. In all the ways that matter.
They're both aware by then that neither of them are still asleep, seemingly in a silent agreement to not move nor even acknowledging each other, and rather too engrossed in taking in their current state; for Donna, how it is to start the day at his place and being engulfed in his presence again, while Harvey welcomes the strange feeling within him that says this is not like all the other times he woke up next to someone else before.
He allows himself to revel in the newly discovered epiphany, at the same time trying to find the right words that would bring her there too, until he decides he's done being careful when it comes to them.
"Have dinner with me."
He feels her momentarily freeze in his arm but they don't look at each other just yet, both out of comfort in their current position and out of fear for wherever this conversation is heading.
"It's 8 in the morning, you're not even going to offer me breakfast first?"
"My offer actually comes with a lifetime worth of breakfast with me, too."
That makes her pull away from him, just enough to meet his eyes and Donna finds that she likes the sight. The lightness in his face, the unfamiliar determination beneath his puffy eyes.
Knowing it's set for her and not for a case or another woman he's trying to win over almost makes her lightheaded.
"Why now?"
"Let's just say I've been too blind to see what's right in front of me, but not anymore."
"Harvey, I-"
She looks down, shaking her head, and he already has an inkling of what's coming before she gathers enough courage to face him again.
"Harvey, there's been a lot of change for us recently, especially with Mike and Rachel leaving and, believe me, I understand how hard it must be for you because I've been feeling-"
He places his hand on top of hers, effectively cutting her off.
"Donna, this is not about that."
The anxiousness mixing with desperation in her orbs tell him that she needs more, and he really needs her to understand that this isn't about his loneliness or fear of abandonment, or some kind of midlife crisis.
This is him coming to terms with the truth.
This is him finally being ready to come home to them.
"You've always been here for me even when I don't deserve it, and I want to be here for you, too. Not just in the office… but for everything that you're willing to offer because I'm ready to be worthy of those things now, Donna. I'm ready to be worthy of you, and I'm ready to face the truth that the reason I could never fully commit to anyone else was because I've always been keeping too much of myself for you."
His gaze doesn't waver for one second, and in the past Harvey expected the world to come crashing down on him once he let those words out, but the weight that actually gets lifted off his shoulders surprises him.
She tilts her side slightly, lips wobbling and voice almost breaking.
"We can't go back from this."
He picks up on the underlying fear that says she won't be able to handle another fallout.
He won't either.
"That's the last thing I'd want us to do."
She takes her time searching for any sign in his face that tells her she should walk away, but she hasn't even let him in yet and she's already feeling all of him.
Harvey's right here with her. And he's here to stay.
That final thought pushes her to heave a deep breath then finally nod.
"Okay."
His face lights up and god if she hasn't already fallen in love with him and that smile, she would now as he beams at her with so much love while the morning light streams on his peaceful face.
"Okay?"
"Okay, you can take me out to dinner."
He lets out a sigh he didn't even realize he was holding, not having the slightest bit of idea what to do next, now that he actually got her on the same page with him.
"It's a date, then."
"It's a date."
The grins on their faces only widen and they settle for looking like two idiots just staring at each other for a while, until Donna's mind catches up on what she had just agreed to, along with all the privileges that have suddenly opened up.
"Any chance we could have that breakfast first?"
"Sure, I'll go buy us some of those pastries you like from-"
"I wasn't really talking about food."
That's about all the cue Harvey needed before he's carrying off to his bedroom.