I struggled as I open my eyes. 'Where was I? Why did it seem so familiar.' That was all I could think about until I heard a voice. A voice I couldn't ever forget. No matter how much I wanted to get rid of that memory, I could never seem to erase it. I remember now, I was at the run down house where the kidnapper hid me from the people. I was 10 years old when they kidnapped me. They tied me with a plastic rope on my hands and feet so I won't escape. every two days, they would inject me with some liquid substance that I don't have knowledge about and each took about 1 hour to take effect. It made me sick, it made me feel everything about in the worse side. Once I almost died but they immediately inject me with an antidote was what they called it. After that incident, I knew that I was a lab rat, they tested chemicals and put it inside my body to see how it would react. The only thing I didn't know was, what it was for. I began to look for the exit because seeing this environment makes me feel nauseous.
But then I saw a familiar door. I walked towards the room where the door was slightly opened. My heart beats fastly as I see the room. I was there, not me as a teenager, 16 years old but me as 10 years old. I was tied down, crying and shouting for help but no one came. I remember this moment, and anytime this moment a young girl will be thrown in this very room with me. The young girl was my childhood friend.
She looked at me in shocked. Surprise to see that I was also there. She was 2 years older than me. She ran beside me and wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. "It's going to be okay, I'll be here with you." Instantly the man pulled her by the hair to tie her hands and feet. "Now be a good girl and stay quiet." He said before pushing her. He slammed the door closing it. "Why? Why are you..." I shakingly ask and noticed that She had to move every muscle that she has just to sit down and look at me. "...here?" My 10 years old self manage to finish question shakingly. She saw the fear in my eyes, She knew she had to say something that would make me feel more ease at this situation. "I came to get you" She smiled at me like everything was fine but I knew everything was not fine. She would feel every pain that I were receiving.
No more, I don't want to remember anymore, I'm down at the floor curled up. It was the most painful memories I have. It was something I've wanted to forget. "No more.. no more.." I cried and closed my eyes. A little while later I heard thousands of voices "What a coward..." I opened my eyes and I was at a different place. I wasn't sure where I was but I knew something off is happening. Then I heard it again "What a coward" "A wimp" "You could have warned her.." "You killed her.." andthings I've heard after she was killed and I was saved. "Why aren't you the one dead." This time it was my voice that spoke but it wasn't me. I turned to where the voice spoke and saw... Me? but it has golden eyes. I tried to speak but none came out. "Who am I? I'm you" He was smiling but it was a scary smile. "You killed her and blamed your brother becuase you're a coward." He was behind me and speak at my ears. "Enough.. enough... enough..." I keep on saying enough and covering my ears. "You're just a coward that always escape from the problem." I can't take it anymore "ENOUGH!" I ran out of that place opening door to door. It was endlessly. Until that last door that seem to opened to a stairs going down. Unaware of this I found myself rolling down the stairs.
"Senpai!" An unfamiliar voice rang through my head. "Kaizaki-kun" Now a guy's voice was heard. I sat up and found about 8 people surrounding me. I panicked and punched the guy infront of me. I rolled backward and took a fighting stance. I was breathing heavily upon running. The guy that I punched has a bleached hair who looks like a punk. I realize I was having an anxiety attack but I seem to get used to it after 4 years of continuously having the attack, yes I know it's not a normal thing but it happened. A silvered guy stood infront of me. "Kaizaki-kun we're here to help you" Help me? How? "Who the hell are you people!" I was breathing heavier each second that passed by.
An arm wrapped around me which gave a sense of comfort and little by little I found myself being relaxed. I looked at the girl who hug me, She had pigtails, brown hair, Brown eyes and she was crying. Why was she crying? Why did I calm down when she hugged me? "Why?" Was all I manage to say. She looked at me with tears in her eyes she still hasn't said anything. "Who are you people?" I turned around to see them. Before they could introduce theirselves I saw myself the golden eyed one "Well well well look who it is. The coward. The one who always wore a mask. But still the fact remains that you still killed her." I shook my head violently "No i didn't!" Upon hearing what he said the panic attack that came earlier came back. "You even blamed your brother!" I shut my eyes and covered my eyes "Shut up! You're not me!" The other people took a stance "Get ready to fight, guys!" The silver haired guy shouted. But I still closed my eyes "Very nice, Very nice!" The shadow laughed.
I felt a hand at my back "Senpai." This was the voice that I first heard after rolling down the stairs "We're here Senpai." I opened my eyes and faced the girl that had pigtails. She wiped the tears that was streaming down my face. I didn't even noticed I was crying. "Senpai, You don't need to get scared, We're here to rescue and protect you but you need to accept your shadow." Shadow? "You mean that guy in my image with the golden eye?" She nodded. I looked at the shadow that kept on shouting "You killed her!" I know it ever since. I know I killed her. I kept it hidden in my heart. I took a deep breath and stood up. I walk towards my shadow. "Well look who's here, It's the murderer" The shadow was defeated and keep on glitching on the ground seated and leaning on the wall.
"I know, now will you just shut up" I said as I got closer to my shadow, I sat down next to him. "I knew ever since from the moment it happened I knew that it was me that got her killed. I was too busy protecting myself. If I didn't get kidnapped then she wouldn't have been looking for me. She wouldn't have felt the pain that I have gone through and endure. I even blamed my brother for leaving me in the park alone but I know.. I know that I was just blaming myself all those years. I never blamed my brother for her death. I blamed myself. I just.. I just said that because I wanted myself to believe that it wasn't my fault. You were right. I could have stopped her, but I couldn't. I couldn't even move because I also knew that day I wanted to die. I wanted to end my life just as much she wanted to end her's. I couldn't because I was a coward. I was weak. You're my part that always blames myself for her death. I'm you and you are me."
The shadow started to glow up and became a card that disappeared after a second.I blinked then looked around to see where did it go "That's your persona" The silver haired guy told me. I guess that was the funny feeling I felt earlier. "Senpai, why are you biting your nails?" The girl in the hat asked me. I didn't even noticed I was biting my nails.I quickly hid my hands behing my back "Just a habit"
"So where are we?" I look around as I asked. "Well, we're in the TV" I heard a familiar voice. It's the guy that borrowed my guitar. "Hanamura?" He quickly came in front of me "Hey, thanks for letting me borrow you're guitar" He chuckled. Suddenly the girl in pigtails came at his side "The guitar you played was his?" Hanamura nodded at the girl. The girl eyed me that it made me avert my eyes. "Senpai, can you see in your bangs?" I nodded. Well my hair is short but long enough to cover half my face. This hairstyle made me much comfortable than having them to see my eyes. Then for a minute I couldn't believe my eyes that we are actually in the Tv. I thought they were joking but it was totally real but with what happens I guess anything is really possible. After getting out from the Tv we walked outside and it was very hot.
My bangs we're sweaty. "Ugh it's so hot" And brushed my hair to the back. Little did I know that the girl in pigtails were looking at me. "Senpai!" I quickly looked at her surprise "You have green eyes!" I raised my brow at her "Yeah why?" She was smiling ear to ear then shook her head "It's just beautiful and rare" What's with her?.
We got in the Aiya's to eat. Man I'm starving, I don't even know how long I've been gone. I ordered their Curry rice. While waiting for the food they introduced theirselves. The girl in the pigtails came first "My name is Rise Kujikawa, but you can call me Rise!" She gleams up and got closer to me. I move a bit farther from her. The next one was the unspoken leader of this group "My name is Narukami Yu" Came next was the girl with a long jet black hair "My name is Amagi Yukiko it's nice to meet you Kaizaki-kun" She bowed which made me bow as well. Next was the girl with a short hair and was wearing a jersey jacket. "My name is Satonaka Chie" Came next was the girl that has blue hair "Naoto Shirogane, senpai it's a pleasure to meet you" Came next was Hanamura "My name is Hanamura Yosuke but you already know that." The next one was the blonde little guy "Name's teddie!" He smiled very big. The next one was the one I punch. I was trying to avert my eyes but it might seem rude to him "My name is Kanji Tatsumi, You know how to throw a punch senpai"
I scratched the back of my head and laughed awkwardly "Um yeah haha well my name is Ryuuji Kaizaki" Then quickly averted my eyes. Thankfully the food we ordered came. Narukami started with the explanation with how the shadows and TV works. "So you mean if I didn't accepted that shadow. I would be eaten by them?" They all nodded. How messed up is that? "Senpai, Do you remember how you got kidnapped?" Shirogane was the one who asked. I guess because she is a detective. "The last thing I remembered is the concert you guys had. I was watching because I was curious on what Hanamura was going to use it for. Then just when I'm almost at my house there was a huge smack on my head and I fell unconscious." I took a big bite out from my food. I miss food "How long have I've been gone missing anyway?" Kujikawa shifted slightly "About 4 days Senpai" I blinked. 4Days? I quickly stood up and left some money at the table "I'm sorry but I got to go, My sister and mom might me really worried right now." I ran out of the restaurant. I already got kidnapped once before, who knows what their gonna do if it happens twice.
"Mom? Nee san?" I heard footsteps coming my way "Ryu-kun?" I saw mom and Nee san on the verge of their tears as they start to ran towards me and gave me hugs. "Thank God!" Mom was crying so much. "I'm here, I'm alive don't worry. A group of people saved me." Mom pulled back "I want to meet them Ryu-kun." I took a deep breath knowing Mom wouldn't take no for an answer I nodded "Okay, I'll invite them tomorrow for dinner." I smiled but then I smelled a food that made my stomach growl "I'm hungry what's for dinner?"
I sat down the dinning table. It's September 2 and I was gone for 4 days. August 29 was the date when I got kidnapped. It's really weird if you think about it. I've been unconscious for about 3 days. I don't really remember how or what happened in the Tv. I only remembered being in that house that made me a lab rat. All this thinking makes my head hurt.
September 3
Yasogami high
Morning
*Yawn* Man I'm so not good with mornings. I sat at my seat beside the window and saw familiar faces, it was Narukami, Amagi, Satonaka and Hanamura. I just remembered I got to invite them later for dinner but I'm too sleepy. I could just invite them later. I slumped my head at my desk and closed my eyes, I was about to doze off until Narukami spoke "Kaizaki, How are you feeling?" I look at them but remained my head at the desk "Other than the weird feeling that I didn't know you were my classmate? Pretty good, I guess" I shut my eyes again because it felt so heavy. My does school start early morning. I hear myself groan at my thought. "I'm guessing you're not a morning person" Narukami sat at his sit which was by my side and I still didn't know that they were my classmates until today.
I nodded and felt myself dozing off. "Good to see you're back Kaizaki-kun" Dammit! just when I thought I could doze off the teacher came that second. I leaned at my chair "Good to be back too" I smiled at her "I guess" I said quietly but Narukami heard it, he just chuckled. After the war between me and my eyelids have been concluded I therefore say that I successfully won this war with only a tiny gap. I stood up but I sat down again and Stood up then Sat down. I'm still contemplating whether to each lunch or no.
"What are you doing Kaizaki kun?" Amagi asked me while looking at me being bewitched by my thoughts. "I dunno if I have the strength to eat or I should just sleep" I closed my eyes and swayed back and forth. "You should have seen Kaizaki fighting his drowsiness" Narukami was laughing at me. "I saw that! there was one time at class when his head fell from his hand." Hanamura joined in. "Actually I like the part when Kaizaki kun fell from his chair and made the excuse that his pencil fell. What's funnier was that the teacher believed him" Chie was laughing her stomach out and everyone laughed. I just knew these people for 1 day and they're already laughing at me.
"I'm just going to eat" I was trying to sneak out of them so they wouldn't laugh at me "How bout you eat with us, We will be discussing about the TV anyway" But they manage to pull me to the rooftop and eat with them. When we got into the rooftop Kujikawa was already there. She jumped in front of Yu "Did Kaiza-" Then she saw me then jumped in front of me "Senpai! You're here" I took a step back "Uh yeah" I scratched the back of my head. Why did it matter if I was here. Kanji came from behind that manage to surprise us all. Everyone took a seat at the floor of the rooftop. They opened their bentos and ate. I opened mine, Kujikawa kept on looking at me and it made me a bit uncomfortable. The door opened and Shirogane stood there "Hey did you know tha- Ah senpai good to see you here"
I forced smiled at them. I tooke a bite from my bento and allow myself to swim at my thoughts. Well I guess it's understandable knowing I just came home yesterday. Speaking of home, I just remembered I needed to ask them something
"Senpai?" Kujikawa called me. I looked at her with a brow raised. "Can I try?" She asked me while pointing at my bento. I handed her my bento so she could try it. "Uhm my Mom actually invited you guys for dinner, She wanted to thank you for saving me. Is that alright?" I asked them, Narukami was the first one to speak "That's great, I don't see why not" Amagi sat beside Yu "We will be there Kaizaki kun" She said with a smile the others nod. Then I saw Kujikawa burning up. I grabbed my yogart and gave it to her. I looked at my bento and saw that she ate the pepper. I looked at her chugging the yogurt "You do know that what you ate was the pepper?" She shook her head. "I guess that's why it's so spicy" She chuckled.
After lunch. I had another war with myself. After our classes I went straight home. Apparently they wanted to change clothes first before going to my house which was perfectly fine for me because I want to take a nap. "I'm home" Mom appeared from the kitchen "Ah Ryu-kun where's your friends?" I removed my shoes and closed the door behind me. "They wanted to change clothes first before coming here. They told me about 6 pm." Mom nodded "Okay, I'm gonna finish cooking our meal for later, ah and Ryu-kun dear, could you run to the store and get us some of these." She handed me a list of grocery shopping. I nodded and head to my bedroom to change clothes.
I wore a plain black hoodie and shorts. I wore my casual sneakers and head out to the store. I was looking at the list that Mom handed me. If I'm gonna guess what she is gonna make, then I have no idea because the only thing in this list is pepper, salt, onion and some spices.
After buying the groceries I head home. I opened the door and saw lots of shoes in the doorway meaning they are here. It seems like I took a long time at the grocery. "I'm back" I head to the kitchen where Mom was cooking "Ah thank you Ryu-kun" She was cutting up some spring onions for the garnish. She stopped and looked at me "Why did you lie to us Ryu-kun" I swear I could see Mom in tears right now and I don't know what she is talking about. "Why did you tell us you forgot" Ah, I see. Let me tell you a story from the past. After I got out from being a lab rat. I came home with some trauma. My brother hated every inch of me and my parents kept on making me go to therapy. I didn't want any of it, It just didn't help so 1 day. I was very exhausted that I passed out. After waking up I told my parents I don't remember any of it. They decided to let it go but still kept a close eye for me.
My sister was beside Mom and they both know now that I was faking my post amnesia about my kidnapping. I slowly walk towards them "I'm sorry" I leaned at the counter "I saw you and dad fight about me. My brother hated every ounce of me and he kept on hurting me." I looked down at my hands "I just didn't want you to fight with dad just because of me. I didn't want to break up our family just because I got kidnapped, It wasn't fair for you guys" Mom gently placed her hand at my cheek "But it wasn't fair to you" She said weakly. I felt a tear streamed down my face "Ryu-kun I'm sorry" Mom hugged me. "Ototo I'm so sorry too" Satsuki also hugged me. Satsuki is my older sister.
I pulled away from the both of them "You gotta finish cooking or else it'll burn." I chuckled Mom glared at me "Don't you dare question my cooking skills or else no supper for you" I raised my hands in defeat. I got to the living room and they all seemed worried about me. I crossed my arms "So who spilled?" They all had guilty faces that made me laugh "I'm just kidding! I didn't even asked you guys to keep it a secret" I sat down at the solo coach beside the sofa. It wasn't their fault that they told my Mom, I didn't even told them about me forgetting my memory. "But still we shouldn't have blabb-" I stopped Satonaka-san's thought of blaming theirselves "No, besides I'm actually thankful because I didn't know how to open it up to Mom."
"Why did you lie to them that you have forgotten about it?" Kujikawa who has a clear curiosity face on. I scratched my cheek. Should I tell them the reason? I mean it's kinda personal but on the other hand they knew my one of my deepest secrets. I hung my head high crossing my arm. I looked at them seriously "You wanna know?" They looked at me and think about their answer "If you're not comfortable telling us, it's fine senpai. We don't want to force you" Kujikawa stood up from where she sat and came closer to me. She gently place a hand at my shoulder. "It's fine besides you already know about my past" They all nodded and slience filled the room.
Here goes nothing "After I have escape from that house, I came home covered in bruises. Though the bruises faded but some retained just like this scar." I removed my bracelets and watch from both of my wrists to show the scar from being tied up though it was like a line that didn't really stand out. Then I showed them both my ankle that has a faded scar. Both the scars at my wrists and ankles wasn't really obvious but when you totally look at them they are visible. I saw their faces when they saw the scar, It was sad, petrified and shock. It was the normal reaction so it didn't really bother me. Moving on "My parents found me unconscious in front of our door so they took me to the hospital. I woke up screaming and terrified because of the nightmare and trauma that the house caused me." I could still remember that dream that caused me to scream in fear, just the thought of it made me shiver to my bones. "Senpai?" Kujikawa gently touched my arm to grab my attention. I seemed tohave drowned in my thoughts. I shook it off "After a couple of test and days of rest the doctors allowed me to go home. My parents got me into therapy. Ever since I came home my brother would blame me for her death. He would get physical but mom and dad wouldn't find out because he kept it within my clothes." I heard some of them gasp but didn't pay any mind to it. "After months and months of being beaten up, My father saw my brother punching me. That's when my parents start to fight every night at their room which I happened to hear. They would disagree with one thing or another. Other than that I wasn't getting better with the therapy. So when I passed out due to stress and exhaustion. I grab the chance to pretend I forgot about the kidnapping incident."
I felt another hand at my back, I turned my back and saw it was my sister. I could see her trying not to cry. She was my bestfriend in the times when I always get nightmare. She was the one I run to whenever I was scared. The nightmares lessen but we still remained close. Maybe that's why it was also a shock for her to hear about what I did. "You're not alone little brother." She smiled at me to assure that she will always be there and protect me. I then turned again to see the team looking down and depressed. I could feel Kujikawa's hand tightening the grip at my arms. "Kujikawa, my arms can't breath with how tight you're gripping it" I chuckled but I felt a tear at my arm. "But Senpai.." Kujikawa was having trouble letting out the words while she cries. "You pretended to forget the most painful memory you have just to keep your family whole. I just couldn't help but think, You must have been lonely all those years.." I looked at her immediately with widened eyes. What she said was true.
I was lonely all these years just trying to keep my family whole. I slumped at the couch where I was sitting. I laugh, smile at everyone. I even made friends because I don't want my Mom to worry. At first, it was hard to pretend but as time goes, It became a habit. I can even do it in my sleep. Little by little I felt more lost than I ever was. I felt I was losing myself by pretending. I even blamed my brother after I got discharged from the hospital but when I pretended to forgot about what happened I tried to get close to him but he always slips through me. I don't blame him, If it were me I would have avoided myself. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I guess I was lonely.." I whispered but was loud enough to be heard by the whole team. After saying my realization I quickly stood up. "Dinner's ready, Let's eat" I smiled at them.
Rise sat beside me. Beside her is Yukiko and was beside Yu. At the middle was Teddie. The other side of the table was Chie and Yosuke bickering beside him was Naoto and Kanji. At the middle of Mom and my sister sat beside each other. Mom made two pots of curry because she reasoned out that some doesn't want spicy. Me and my sister are the one that wants spicy. Dad would also want it. My brother and Mother are the one that doesn't want spicy. "So who wants the spicy one?" Mom asked the whole table. Kujikawa along with me and my sister was the one that rose their hand. So she likes spicy foods huh. My sister was giving me THE look. "Baka nee san" I muttered. it means idiot sister but ofcourse I don't mean it literally, It's just the way we are.
Satsuki Nee san giggled beside me which made me roll my eyes. "So you also want spicy foods huh, is that why your bento was so spicy?" Kujikawa might be reading my mind. "You ate the pepper Kujikawa and Yeah, my mom actually told me that the first food that I ate was spicy and I really liked it." It was true. My dad was eating his food and it was so spicy but when they were not looking I took a scoop and ate a spoonful of the food. Mom came back with the plates with spicy curry and lay down the table. "It's true Rise-chan, he and his sister gets it from their father. It was troublesome cooking two pots each night." Me and my sister reacted to what mom said and stood up saying bunch of things. In our defence, We agreed that the meal will be taking turns spicy then next day not spicy. Mom just laughed while looking at us "You both are really siblings and a duplicate of your father" She sighed and sat down at her sit. Me and my sister pouted and sat down. Well most of them would say that me and Nee san is very alike.
"I invited you all here to thank you for saving my son" Mom bowed which to my surprise. My mom is a Lawyer and rarely bow to anyone. As a lot of people say my mom is a strong woman. "And If it wouldn't really bother any of you, Can I ask you to keep an eye at my son so he wouldn't keep on fi-" She continued but I stopped her when I quickly stood up "Mom... It's alright, I could handle myself"
Rise's Pov
September 3
Evening
Kaizaki residence
I was startled by Kaizaki senpai, he suddenly stood up in panic, Even if I couldn't see his eyes, I could feel it by his movements and actions. "Mom.. It's alright, I could handle myself" He said clearly in panic. What was he hiding? I turned to Kaizaki-senpai's Mom Satowa looking concerned for her son "But Ryu-kun..". Senpai was eager not to let us know what she was talking about "Mom, please..". Satowa decided to let it go but I still could see the concern in her eyes.
"Well let's eat, did you guys know that mom's curry is the best" Satsuki-san tried to lighten up the group. Senpai sat down at his chair beside me, he had an expression that I couldn't read. I would say a poker face but not clearly. What was so important that he didn't want us to know? Everyone ate in silence but soon that silence were filled with bickering from yosuke senpai and chie senpai then soon the others joining in. I could see Kaizaki senpai smiling and laughing but I knew something was off. It felt like he was just forcing himself. I didn't like that.
Kaizaki senpai excused himself from the table. That's when Satowa-san began to talk about what happened earlier. "You see, Ryu-kun has a bad habit of-" I saw Satsuki-san held her mother's hand "Mom.. Ryu doesn't want to let them know.." Satowa held her daughter's cheek "Suki-chan I know but I'm really worried, aren't you?". Satsuki-san sank at her sit "I am but Ryu will get mad at us..". Satowa-san smiled at her daughter "I know". This time Satsuki-san was the one who told us "Ryu has a bad habit of fighting" She looked straight at us. Habit of fighting? What did she mean? "It first happened back when we're in tokyo, there was a child being bullied by the middle school students. I still remembered how he looked like. He was enraged so he ran to the students and beat them one after another. I couldn't go after him because my twin brother held my arms tightly and told me not to get involve. He always hated Ryu. Ryu actually beat all five students but he was full of bruises." Satsuki-san sighed, he has been fighting other people? hitting and punching them? But all I could see was a lonely boy begging for help. It's like a cry for help. Satsuki-san took a deep breath as she continues "Ever since that day he would come home full of bruises. He was just 13 years old and to think he began to fight everyday. I know he is protecting kids that was being bullied but still.." Satsuki-san looks down as tears streams at her face. We look at them in horror to think that Kaizaki-senpai has been doing this for 4 years straight. "Have you ever stopped him?" I told them but it came out as a growl. I found myself being irritated at them for allowing him to do this. "We did stop him once.." Satsuki-san said quietly but was loud enough to hear. I was about to blow at them but I saw them being embarrassed at what was happening. "I'm sorry" I told them then walked away from the dining room. I heard Yu-Senpai stopping me but I don't plan on stopping, he was screaming for help. I searched for Kaizaki senpai but he was neither in the Living room and his room.
I know it was his room because it was said at the door. Then I saw a door that was slightly opened. I took a peak and saw him sitting in front of the piano, writing something. He stopped and bit the pencil. He crossed his arms and is thinking of something. I couldn't see his eyes because of his bangs but Pfft, he looks so cute. I wonder what he looks like if he cut his bangs? Well his Mother and sister was insanely gorgeous, they both had blonde hair and green eyes. I wonder what his father looked like? Did he get his looks from his father? I flinched when he moved. He bit his nails from time to time, he said it wasn't intentional and it was a habit he had ever since he was a kid. You've been through a lot senpai..
He stood up from his sit "Kujikawa?" I jumped when he called me. my foot slipped at the stair in the room. In a swift move he caught me. His bangs were parted at one eye and allowed me to see his gorgeous eye. I feel like his eyes could see my soul but I snapped out of it when he let go of me when I find a steady footing. Once I saw the full room full of instruments, I knew that this was a studio. That reminds me that he was the one that lended Yosuke senpai the guitar. Does he know how to play? "What are you doing in here?" He gently asked me as he sat in front of the piano. His voice was soothing as well. "I was looking for you senpai.." He looked away from me and sighed "Let me guess, My mom still told you about me" My eyes widened, did he heard? or did he just read my mind? He chuckled "Your expressions are very expressive Kujikawa". I quickly hid my face using my pigtails "Meanie senpai!" I pouted but he just chuckled. He has a wonderful smile but I feel like it isn't his true smile. I wonder what his true smile looks like.
I sat beside him but my back was in front of the piano. "Why are you doing it?" I looked at my feet, I saw him flinched at my question. It was a sensitive topic but if he doesn't want to talk about it I'll wait until he opens up to me. "I thought it would make me feel better." I looked at him though he was looking at the piano. "I was mad for them bullying someone weaker but other than that I just felt free when I did that. It was like-" He looked up "A cry for help.." I finished for him that made him look at me and smile a little "Yeah.." I put held his arm gently "Senpai, have you tried to stop fighting?" He hung his head "Well yeah but everytime I did it didn't got any better. I still find myself fighting every goddamn time." I moved in closer to him but was cut short because the whole team came in the studio. "Woah! a land of instruments, Is this yours Ryuchi?" Teddie came in excitedly. Before Senpai could answer he already had another question "Do you know how to play all this?" This made Senpai chuckle "Yeah, I do" Teddie's eyes had more sparkle "Can you show us? Pleaseee" Senpai laughed at Teddie "Sure, what instrument do you want me to start with?" Teddie looked around and carried the electric guitar "This one!" Senpai came over to teddie to grab the guitar. It wasn't the one that Yosuke used at the performance. This one had the color of sunburst with black on the side. I don't really know what it was called but I know that it's a great guitar. "What kind of guitar is that Kaizaki-kun? Did you boight it?" Chie-senpai was the one who ask. "it's a Epiphone les paul standard 50s vintage sunburst. It's a gift from dad when I turned 14. Well shall I play?" We all nodded.
(A.N. SEARCH IN YOUTUBE 10 levels of guitar (feat. ichika nito - i miss you) Cover.
Disclaimer: This song is not mine, all credits to XLEZZY
it's one of my favourites!
After he played we were left in awe with our jaw at the floor. He played so smoothly and other than that the way he play captured each one of us. Each not he played felt like a whole new world. "That was so cool!" Teddie was already jumping from his seat. "Man that was like the best things I've seen in my life" Yosuke Senpai who looks like he still got shivers from Kaizaki senpai's playing. "That was really great!" Yu senpai came over and held Senpai's shoulder. Naoto, Kanji, Yukiko senpai and Chie senpai was still amzed by his playing. Including me I know my jaw was still at the floor. I was still captivated by how he played the guitar. I don't know what would happen if he played the other instruments. "Ryuchi! Could you play this one next?" Teddie was jumping next to the drum and pointing it. Kaizaki senpai playing drums. Tapping each drum with power and beat. I found myself imagining how sexy he would playing the drums. He sat in front of the drums and started playing.
Each beat I swear I could see his eyes little by little. What would he look like if he played the drums with his hair not in the way? Senpai you're killing me! He looks sexy while playing the drums. I could watch him all day playing instruments. After playing the drums he sat infront of the piano because Teddie kept on pointing at it and played, Just awhile ago he was powerful playing drums then another he's graceful as he played the piano. Just how talented can he get. The song finished and Teddie was already pointing at the Bass. Senpai set the bass and began to play. Slapping the string there and here. Once again How talented could Senpai get?
Belive me after him playing most of the instruments we are in totally awe at him. I swear even the boys in the team were inlove with him at this point but on the other hand the girls are too. This thought made me frown, wait why would it make me frown? I shook my head and sat beside Senpai. "Say, Senpai. How bout you and me perform at the cultural Festival at school?" He looked at me and I know he was raising his brows but it didn't looked that way to me because his hair is in the way. "You could sing and play instruments?" His question made me blink, He didn't know I was the Risette? Or maybe he is just messing with me. I laughed "I can't play instruments but I could sing, you know." He tilted his head "Really?" This made me blink again and now I could see the others get confuse as well. "Dude, don't you know she's the Risette?" Yosuke senpai was at his side slapping his back lightly. "Risette?" He again tilted his head.
"You seriously don't know?" Yu senpai was the one who asked. "Should I know?" Senpai scratched his head. Does he really not know? " How could you not know, Kaizaki-kun?" Yosuke senpai whined. "Well, you could tell me what are her songs, I don't really remember the artist sometimes." He laughed awkwardly. Yosuke senpai Grabbed his phone and showed my songs to Kaizaki senpai. "Oh, That's her huh." He didn't seem surprised. "So you really don't know me huh" I pouted and he quickly shut down that thought "Oh I know you. I just don't listen to your songs after I heard your second album. I might've forgotten your stage name but I couldn't forget you voice and songs." I looked at him with curiousity as he continued. "Well I really like your first album, each and every song came with such passion and love. You showed how much you loved your music here and there but when the second album was released. There was something different, something was music. i tried to see what it was then I realized that you lost your passion and love for music. Though I don't really know what happened or maybe it is not what I thought it was, so please forgive me if I overstepped my boundaries." He bowed to me but I couldn't help but cry "What was that senpai.. You tell me you forget about my stage name but clearly you listen to my songs. You even knew without seeing or meeting me" He wiped the tears that fall on my face gently. "I don't really read the artist's name. I just listen to music and songs. I don't even know who sang the song I was playing." He chuckled, I couldn't stop my tears from falling but senpai was there catching them gently. He was so gentle that it made me want to cry much more.
He knew, He knew just listening to me. He didn't even know my name nor how I look yet he saw through me. "You okay?" He patted my head which felt so calming. I nodded drying my tears. I saw the others looking at us in a teasing way. "You guys should go home, It's getting late and we still got school tomorrow" He says as he looked at his watch. I looked at mine and it was about 10pm. We all headed to the front door. "Kaizaki, join us at lunch tomorrow okay?" Yukiko senpai said standing in front of the door. "Or else we will drag you again" Yu senpai sends threat to Kaizaki senpai in which he chuckled "Fine fine see you tomorrow". Chie senpai jumped in front "I look forward watching you struggle in class" Chie senpai giggled. " Hey, I'm just not a morning person nor even a class person" Senpai whined which made me raise a brow "What was that about?" I asked them. Me naoto, Kaji and teddie was confused. "We will tell you on the way Rise-chan" Yukiko grabbed my arm and started to walk away. The last moment I saw Senpai he was waving his hands at us.
September 4
Morning
Yasogami high
Ryuuji's PoV
I really hate morning. My eyes are burning and still hungers for sleep. For those who are asking I'm not a loner. I have friends but I still kept my dkstance because I don't really want them to know or mention about my childhood. I saw Yu and the others already there. "Good morning Kaizaki-kun" Yukiko first greeted me. "Morning Kaizaki, Still sleepy I'm guessing?" Yu who was seated next to my seat. "Yeah so sleepy that I just wanna go home this instant and lay down my bed" I could see Chie and Yosuke still bickering about something. I put my bag at the handle of the table and sat in my seat and lay my head. "Kaizaki, you'll go with us later after right?" I raised my brow at Yu's question. "Go where?" Yukiko came closer to me "The Tv" Oh right, but today was thursday. "Sorry I got business later after schokl" I smiled at them and lay my head down and shut my eyes. They seemed to let it go and it was fine by me. The class started and once again the war commence!
Once again they were laughing at me for being caught this time. We are heading to the rooftop and no one was still there. We all took a seat and began about last night I seemed to have not yet answered Rise's questionabout performing together. Well I don't really mind it since the Cultural Fest is still a month away. After awhile everyone was at the rooftop "Senpai!" Rise beamed next to me "Are you gona come with us later?" I scratched my cheek "Sorry but I got plans for later maybe tomorrow?" She pouted next to me "What plans?" I didn't guess she would push it, I cleared my throat "I'm gonna go to okina city" She looked at me "What are you gonna do there?" She really isn't gonna let this go "Stroll around.." I was averting my eyes from her. Naoto pulled her away from me "Rise-chan, senpai seems uncomfortable" Thank you Naoto. I don't really know what I would do if she hasn't pulled her away.
Time flies by so slowly at school but after it ended I grabbed my things and bid goodbye to others. i was at the shoe lockers when I stopped and think how should I go to okina city. Should I take the vespa or the train.
Yasogami high
afternoon
September 4
Rise's Pov
I saw Kaizaki Senpai thinking in front of the shoe locker. At lunch there was something suspicious about how he acted when I asked him about his plans. I texted Yukiko senpai I would be following Kaizaki senpai but she texted me 'Wait for us' But if I waited he might leave now. Seconds later Kaizaki senpai was wearing his shoes at the same moment I heard panting from Yukiko senpai with Yu senpai. "Come on, Chie and Yosuke said if we're too many Kaizaki might see us" I nodded at Yu senpai. After following Kaizaki senpai he was headed in the train station. We head in the train after him but at the other door so he would not see us.
After awhile of following him, It got crowded and we lost him. We searched and searched for him. My gheartbeat was getting faster and faster every minute that past. The three of us searched in the alley and we heard a groan. All three of us head to where we heard. "Senpai!" We saw him. Standing there while all 4 guys were on the ground. His back was facing us and I could clearly see him panting. He faced us and I could see his eyes. It seem so lifeless. A small guy stood up and approached Kaizaki kun. He looked at him "Thank you" And bowed. I could see Kaizaki senpai soften his gaze at the guy. "It's no problem" Then the guy walked away. Kaizaki senpai on the other hand walked towards us. I see blood at the side of his mouth. His hair was messy but it allowed me to see his wound at the corner of his brow. His uniform was a mess. I knew the expression we were looking at him was a horror. "Why are you guys here?" He simply asked as he fixed his uniform and picked up his bag.
"We were worried about you.." He looked at Yukiko Senpai and sighed "You don't need to be worried, it's a normal thing anyway." I found myself getting irritated by this "What do you mean normal thing! And What do you mean by don't need to be worried! We are so worried about you! If we didn't then we shouldn't have come and rescued you! We wouldn't waste time looking for you in Okina!" My eyes fist was closed as I shouted. "Who told you to come and rescue me anyway" His voice were lowered but was loud enough for us to hear it. It made my eyes widened. He walked past us not looking back. I clenched my fist again "We're here to help you whether you want to or not. We will always worry about you without your permission. We wanted to save you because we wanted to. No one told us to rescue you but we wanted to. So don't you tell us not to worry about you cause we will be worried about you or how you're doing." He stopped in his tracks and looked back at us. He scratched the back of his head and sighed.
"Fine. Are you coming or what?" He put his hands in his pocket. We all go back to Inaba and we followed him to his house. He looked back at us "Isn't this far enough?" We shook our head as we entered the house. I couldn't see Satowa-san and Satsuki-san. "Mom is at work until monday. Nee-san is staying at her dorm every Wednesday to Saturday." He disappeared in the hallway. After a while he came out of his room and stood at the hallway just about outside the living room. He was wearing a plain gray shirt it tucked in and a black pants cropped above the ankle. I could see the bruise at his mouth unattended. Maybe even his wound at the corner of his eye is still unattended. I stood up and entered the bathroom. I searched every cabinet just to find the first aid kit. I could see Kaizaki senpai standing leaning at the bathroom door. "What are you looking for Kujikawa?" I didn't answered him and continued with my search. I just know the guy for 3 days and why am I so worried about him. I mean yes even Yukiko senpai and Yu senpai are worried about him but my worried is past another level. I don't like him romantically but I just.. I just can't leave him alone. I saw the first aid kit and grabbed it. I also grabbed senpai and dragged him to the living room. "Please remove your shirt senpai." I firmly told him as I sat in front of him. Well I wasn't going to take no for an answer, he knew that and sighed in defeat. He stripped his shirt and I could see some bruises. He had great body. Considering that he has been fighting and winning every time. "Yu senpai could you grab me an Ice pack. Yukiko senpai could you grab me a hair clip." The two stood up and grab what I've ask. I on the other hand opened their first aid kit and I could see they were very used. Considering that Senpai is always carrying bruises. What does his room even look like. I furrowed my brows at the thought. Senpai suddenly flicked my forehead "What thought has gotten you to furrow your brows?" I rub the part where he flicked me.
"I was just thinking how your room looks" I told him then grab the thinks Yu senpai and Yukiko senpai handed the things I've asked them "Here hold this to some of your bruises at your body" He grabs the ice pack and did as I told him. I grabbed the hair clip and was reaching out at his hair but he quickle stumbled back. "Uhm about that could you leave the bruise in my eye." I raised a brow at him. I saw him gulp "Please? I swear I'm gonna tend it." I closed my eyes and let it go "Fine." I put my hair behind my ear. I started tending his wound at the corner of his mouth. I touched his chin and place it where I could comfortably tend his wound. I could see his cheeks get pinker everytime, which make my cheeks get pink. Seeing him up close his lips looks so.. kissable. Snap out of it Rise, it isn't even the time to think about that. I shook my head. I placed the bandaid gently. "How can I eat with this?" I sighed at him "You know yoir bruise isn't even touching your mouth and the band aid isn't touching your lips." He raised his hands "Okay okay, can I put my shirt back on?" I nodded as I clean up the first aid kit.
He slipped on his shirt and slumped at the coach beside me."How long will you guys be here?" He seems tired, Who wouldn't after punching and fighting older guys you don't even know after school. "Until we are sure you wouldn't fight again". He looked at us "Are you serious, Narukami?" Yu senpai nodded "Of course. Even if your helping other people, It isn't good fighting others. It's not healthy for you Kaizaki" I could feel Kaizaki senpai getting irritated at us but that's fine if that would make him stop fighting we would welcome it. "Kaizaki kun, we're just doing this because we're worried about you. We don't want you to destroy yourself" Yukiko senpai was the one who told him. It's true seeing him in that state wasn't the Kaizaki senpai we saw in the Tv. He just slumped down at the couch and mumbled quietly but I heard it loud and clear "Too late, I'm already broken." I'm not going to watch by and destroy himself again and again "Then we're here to help you fix yourself" He looks at me.
September 4
Kaizaki residents
6pm
Ryuuji's PoV
"Then we're here to help you fix yourself" I looked at Rise and blinked. She said Help you fix yourself not we're here to fix you. Every time I got to therapy that's all I could here from the doctor and therapist. We're here to fix you That was all they said like I need no effort to do this, like it isn't my choice not option to fix myself. Like I was just an object where they could earn money from. On the other hand, they are the first people who told me that they would help me fix myself. I know it's confusing but it was really comforting to know they weren't treating me as an object. "Fine." I told them "I'll try not to do it again but don't expect I could do it right away" I eyed them but I know they couldn't see it since my bangs are in the way. I could see Rise beaming up at what I've said. "Then I'll be walking you home everyday!" Rise enthusiastically said. But isn't her house at a different way than mine? "I'll be joining you, since my house is just 2 minutes walk and you Rise chan don't need to walk him through his house. Don't worry I'm also worried about him" Yu casually told Rise but it was giving me shivers and I might have been misunderstanding something here. "I'll be joining you guys till the intersection" Yukiko moved next to Yu.
I looked outside the window and let myself drift towards my thoughts. They followed me to the Okina city and and ran around to look for me because they lost me. Ah right they might be hungry from running around. I stood up from my seat. "You guys must be hungry, What do you guys want to eat?" Rise raised her hand "I want spicy!" I also like spicy but we should tone it down since some of us don't like spicy food "I like that but next!" She pouted. Yukiko raised her hand "Sushi!" I also like that but too bad we don't have any sushi "Unavailable.." She also pouted. Yu raised his hand "Let's just order from Aiya's since most of us is already tired" In which we all agreed on. After the food arrive we ate at the living room. I suddenly remember Rise's question from last night. "I'll do the performance for the cultural fest." I told them then took a bite of my food. They all looked at me while Rise was jumping at her seat. "Really Senpai?" I nodded at her. "Yeah" She was about to hug me but thankfully someone knocked on the door. I got up and opened the door it was the rest of the team.
Teddie hugged me "Oh Ryuchi you're alive!" when did I even die? "Aw! Teddie I was gonna hug him first!" Rise who was behind me whined. I just shook my head. "So what are you guys doing here?" I let them in and closed the door behind them. "Well we were worried about you but let Yu to follow you so you wouldn't see them following you and-" Yosuke explained and stopped as he saw the food and Yu eating. "No fair partner!" They all sat in the living room. For a while it was a ruckus until Rise announced that I agreed to the performance. Ruckus wouldn't even explain it. It was like a war that's happy and party. "So senpai what are we gonna sing?" Rise moved at my side. Well the cultural fest is still a month and a half away so it wasn't really rushed. "What would you like to sing?" She looked at me like something surprising happened. "um I don't know. Maybe something romantic? hehe" She flirtatiously told me but I ignored it "Romantic huh. Well I'm gonna send some songs to you later check it out if you want to sing those" She nodded at me like a kid. The night was filled of smiles and Laughters.
September 18
After school
Ryuuji's PoV
After school Yu invited me at his house because his cousin wants to meet me in which I agreed on. On the way there we parted with Yukiko and Rise at the intersection. "Have you tried to take your life.." I could hear Yu's hesitation when he asked me that. Have I ever tried to take my life? I swiftly go trough my memories and see if I did, but I didn't "Tried isn't the word for it Narukami, More like I've thought of it" Yu looked at me. "You can just call me Yu, Kaizaki. And what did you mean by thought of it?" I raised my head and looked at the sky, It was such a beautiful day. "You can just call me Ryuuji then." He nodded at me and waited for my answer "I meant I've thought of it everyday, it was hunting wherever I went. I just thought of ending my life like imagining it doing it to myself. Jumping on buildings, cut my wrists or even... hang myself.. Well to think of it It actually lessened a lot after the Tv incident and when you guys came after me at Okina city" I chuckled and Yu just nodded "That's good to hear" Yu opened the front door and we were greeted by a little girl. "Welcome home Nii chan! Who is that?" She asked while pointing at me, she must be Yu's cousin. I kneeled in front of her and introduced myself "Hello, My name is Ryuuji I'm a friend of your cousin" I extended my hand for her to shake. She shook my hand "My name is Nanako, It's nice to meet you Ryuuji-kun!" She was smiling really big. "Just call me Ryu, and It's my pleasure to meet you Nanako" I smiled at her. She walk towards the living room while I removed my shoes to come in.
"Nanako, I'll be preparing Dinner, Would you mind accompanying Ryuuji?" Yu who is at the kitchen asked Nanako who was seated beside me. Nanako shook her head "I don't mind!" She's really cute and makes me wanna protect her smile. I found myself in awe looking at her. Then I noticed a guitar beside the Tv. I walked towards it and grab it "Nanako can I borrow this guitar?" She nodded at me. "Ryu-kun do you know how to play guitar?" I chuckled by how she called me. "Yup and do you know I play this really well?" Nanako gleamed up at her seat "Really?" I nodded at her. "Can you play some songs?" She was really eyeing the guitar. "What song do you want me to play Nanako?" After a few minutes of thinking "I don't really know but can you play me something?" This little girl is so cute. "Okay then, here's a song I composed just last year" I smiled at her while I played the guitar.
A.N. The song is Oh, Mexico By Jeremy Zucker
Disclaimer: The song Oh,Mexico is not mine and will never be. All rights is at Jeremy Zucker
No, I don't miss you yet
You're just a feeling I'd rather forget
So I pierce my skin and I buzz my hair
I'm going to Mexico
No, I don't feel the same
The lack of chemicals in my brain
Won't keep me warm
So I pause and pray
I don't wanna feel the cold
So I'm going to Mexico
Oh, Mexico
Sounds so sweet
But I'm going there alone
I tried to be myself but still
I've got some room to grow
I'm going to Mexico
I could remember why I wrote this song, It was my experience those years I've blamed myself. Each day, Each hour, Each minute and Each second that has passed. I just wanted to feel at peace because it was eating me alive. I remembered when I pierced my ear back in middle school, at some point I even buzzed my hair because they all know my hair because it was white. After that they noticed my eyes so I let it grow until my eyes aren't seen. I colored my hair black. I got help from my mom to color it every month.
And I won't miss you then
The weight of every word on my chest
So I curse my name
And my fragile frame
Anywhere could feel like home (Anywhere)
But I'm going to Mexico
Oh, Mexico
Sounds so sweet
But I'm going there alone
I tried to be myself but still
I've got some room to grow
I'm going to Mexico
I'm going to Mexico
I cursed myself for being weak and an easy target that was why every morning I exercise. I always regretted being weak in mental and in physical. After all these years I still yet to try to be myself. I didn't really meant going to Mexico it's like an example of paradise. I'm finding my paradise and peace in this head of mine that's been in war ever since. "You're really good Ryu-kun! but you seemed so sad" I blinked looking at Nanako. I laughed and ruffled her hair. "Was that really what you hear?" She nodded looking down. Well I guess it was kinda sad too. "Come on guys, let's eat." Yu from the kitchen called us. Me and Nanako got to the Dining table and sat.
It was getting late so I bid Yu goodbye. Nanako was already asleep. "Take care then Ryuuji" I nodded at him and he quickly reminded me "Don't go anywhere else. Just go straight home or else Rise would scold you again" I chuckled "Yeah yeah Thanks for tonight. Tell Nanako I'll visit again next time" Yu nodded and I walked away. On my way home I slowed down my pace then I heard something at the park. I was contemplating whether I should go or not. That's when I heard someone screaming "Help!" It was faint but I know he was screaming for help.
I ran as fast as I could and saw him getting beaten up by 4 guys. They were really big, much bigger than Kanji. They looked at me "Who's this piece of shit" I'm sorry Rise as much as I hate broken promises, I need to break my promise. "Didn't you guys know that you should fight someone the same size as you?" I told them. One of them started to charge at me. I easily dodge him and kneed him at his stomach. Another one was charging I moved to the side and punched him at his face with the help of his acceleration. Then another one attack me from my back but thankfully I could react fast and kicked him at his face hard. The other one was already charging that I couldn't react very fast.
I winced at the pain, I got slashed above my eye at the left side just above my eyebrow. Thankfully it wasn't really a big slash I could cover it up. I quickly grabbed his wrist that was holding the knife and punched him at his face. I guess their body's just for show. They got down after one punch. I kneeled beside the guy and my eye's widened. He was just in middle school. "Thank you.." He said so weakly while crying. "You're bleeding.." He added. I chuckled "We're both bleeding. How are you?" He looked up to me "I'm much better than earlier when they were kicking me" I ruffled his hair "I know it's hard kid" Then he started crying. I guess he was penting in all these things that's been happening to him.
I heard a thing being dropped down far behind. "Kaizaki..Senpai?" My eyes widened. Oh no, I'm in trouble. It was Rise's voice. "Hey kid, would you do me a favor and if anyone ask tell them what is my appearance tell them I had blue hair?" The kid nodded. "Sorry but I got to go run" As soon as I stood up I quickly felt a hand at my shoulder. "Where do you think you're going Senpai?" Yep I'm dead. She really emphasize the senpai part. I looked at her with a smile "Hey, Kujikawa.." I saw her getting shocked about a part of my face was bleeding. I knew she wanted to scold at me but when she saw the kid she stopped. "Where's your house?" She asked the kid. He pointed at the blue house. "Come on let's get you home" She said softly. Then She grabbed ny hands and ensured that I won't be going anywhere. "You know, I was really going home but I heard him screaming he-" She quickly turned to me that made me stop talking. She took a deep breath "Let me treat the wound and I'll let this go." I thought of her suggestion. "Can I put on some blindfold? I'm really not comfortable people seeing my eye" She looked down for a minute then nodded.
After we knew that the kid was inside the house she still held my hand and pulled me towards my house. We got in and she directed me in my room. She got in and looked around.
Evening
September 18
Kaizaki residence
Rise's PoV
His room wasn't what I expected. It has beautiful murals at his wall. Does he paint that? It was mostly green. He had an L shaped desk, He also had a shelf of books at the head part of his bed and in which he mentioned before that he liked to read. There were some canvases at the side some has painting some weren't and some were hanged. It was well lightened. He had that little space beside the window in which he put on some hanging lights and some comfortable pillows. His room was much bigger than I thought. He had Tv and couch inside. Does his mother and sister also has this? He has his own way to the bathroom I guess that was what the door was for. "Done searching for something Kujikawa?" I decided to tease him "Just call me Rise. and Well are you hiding something very naughty senpai?" Let's see how he would react? "And what if I do?" He smirked at me in which I didn't expected him. He chuckled "I'm just kidding I don't have those things you're thinking Kujikawa" Again with the Kujikawa I pouted at him "Call me Rise, senpai" I whined "No way, I'll just call you Kujikawa, Kujikawa" I was getting irritated by the way he say Kujikawa "You're really good at pissing people off you know hmph" He laughed as he took a seat at his bed "I know right and it's pretty fun too!" I grabbed the first aid kit while he grabs a hanky and tied it to cover his eyes. Why are you hiding your gorgeous eyes Senpai? What made you hide it?