…
There was something about the man, despite the overall hobo look and the slight unkept smell that lingered around him, as soon as their hands shook something passed between them. Chemistry, awareness, of the opposite sex was not something you could always control, though Teresa Lisbon knew that what you felt did not always align with thoughts and actions. Life was full of choices, some small and some not so small.
Most of Lisbon's experiences dealt with the bad choices' others made.
It did not matter how she felt, that recognition that passed between them, ever the professional Lisbon ignored it, told herself it was entirely inappropriate and the man in front of her was not the least interested. Lisbon highly doubted Patrick Jane felt anything when their hands had touched.
She fought the urge to rub her palm against her pants, cursed the brief thought that she wished shed done something nicer with her hair. Its not like Mr Jane cared about his own appearance, he only cared about learning of the progress of Red John case. This was not just any man standing in front of her, this was a grieving widow who had found the mutilated and bloody bodies of his wife and four-year-old daughter after they had become a serial killer's latest victims. It was evident that Mr Jane blamed himself, the case files Lisbon inherited with the investigation painted in explicit detail why the widow would believe so, after all it was his interview and comments on the murderer which had led to the maniac's interest in the Jane family.
A lesson in humility, Lisbon gulped as she thought about it. Indeed, it seemed to have worked, after a year of not being heard from Patrick Jane was far from the obnoxious charlatan Lisbon had observed in footage, and perhaps she could recognise that the air of vulnerability and pain was what she was drawn too to unexplainably.
Despite appearance Patrick Jane was not so helpless and he wormed himself into their team, and each time she came across him he was just that little bit better. And still Lisbon viewed him as a wary figure she had to distance herself from, growing more and more professional despite the cracks growing in their interactions. The more Lisbon tried to control herself the more Jane appeared to see it as a challenge.
Though he never forgot his reason for coming to the CBI, for manipulating the situation and being taken on as a consultant, it became beyond just uncovering the identity of a vicious killer.
Patrick Jane found purpose, he found reason to get up and have a shower, slowly piecing himself back together. The pieces did not quite fit, they were chipped and loose yet every day they strengthened.
Most of the time Lisbon found Jane a nuisance, though he was a nuisance who helped her catch bad guys, faster than she ever had before.
Months turned to a year and Lisbon never let herself forget that their relationship was professional, and that's all it could be, and if sometimes his teasing - she was not brave enough to call it flirting - confused her the ring he still wore faithfully was a constant reminder that Patrick Jane considered himself a married man.
There were women who tried to get closer to then man, Lisbon had seen it herself time and time again, and she had seen Jane's response. Patrick Jane was not ready to move on, he was married after all. Married to a dead wife. It saddened Lisbon and a part of her craved to see him let the pain go, perhaps a part of her even hoped he would take up one of the many women who offered themselves up.
Despite the distance and professionalism Lisbon tried to keep between them they grew closer, she could not completely stop herself caring more and more for him, she could not stop the banter that effortlessly flowed between them or the way they had somehow formed a team. And though Jane had somehow put her in the position as the strict Mom and he the fun Dad position in their rag tag crime fighting team, Lisbon still found herself enjoying her work a lot more these days.
Teresa Lisbon cared about Patrick Jane, and sometimes she even considered that maybe he cared about her too. The lingering hand at her lower back when he led the way, the concern on his face whenever she put herself in danger, the tightening around his eyes whenever she ignored such concerns. Sometimes he was easy to confide to, after all she didn't even have to speak for him to guess her secrets so it made it that much easier when you get the answer to a question you don't even have to verbally ask.
They might even be friends on a good day.
There were many things Lisbon could name Jane. Even when she would think friend there was still a part of Lisbon that did not entirely trust the man.
Yet time and time again when she tried to push him away, he would reel her back, would force her to laugh, would force her to care. And she cursed the man for getting inside her mind and heart, knowing deep down somewhere down the line it would lead to her getting hurt.
It was tradition, a long-ago tradition from her time with the SFPD, that with each case closed Lisbon would have a drink. The bottle was kept in her bottom drawer, growing emptier and emptier until replaced by another. Her job was hard though and soon it became more than the traditional celebratory drink, before Lisbon could even give voice or thought to her concerns about the increase of her drinking – not wanting to see her father's reflection staring out from her own mirror – Jane replaced it with a much tamer case closed pizza or donuts.
The man never seemed to sleep, not at night anyway, he napped on his claimed couch in the bullring during the day, though Lisbon doubted he ever actually slept and long suspected it was a ruse to get out of tasks he was less inclined to do. Later and later his nights in the bullring became, it became near impossible for Lisbon to open that drawer without her pesky consultant appearing. In the end she stopped reaching for it, and the opened nearly full bottle of amber liquid remained the same one, no longer being replaced.
And so perhaps it was not just Patrick Jane who found himself healing the longer they knew each other, and perhaps it became harder for either one of them to pretend they didn't care.
It was not unnoticed by those who worked with them, a certain possessiveness they shared to the other, they certainly appeared close. The way they bantered and fought could almost resemble siblings, for though they were permitted to mess with each other they would not allow others to do so.
Some remarked Lisbon could not control her unruly consultant, others remarked that she was the only one who could.
Control slipped sometimes, even for the best of them, even for the most convincing con man.
If Lisbon had gone to work that day things might have been different, however she called Minelli and despite her lack of skill in lying he did not question her claiming she was sick. It was a different sickness that kept her away that day. Some cases just hit harder than others and Lisbon knew she could not face Jane's knowing gaze, his silent help, and she could not face any more death or despair.
Time. One day, maybe two, Lisbon told herself and then her mask could go back on.
The darkest bar closest to her house called her that night, somewhere no one knew she was a cop, somewhere no one would care if she drank a little too much.
So, when the curly haired consultant appeared and insisted on taking her home Lisbon told him to sort his own life out and stay out of hers, she was a grown woman who could get drunk if she wanted to. And she wanted to.
Lisbon said a lot of things, he'd smiled when she mocked his 'stupid' vest, laughed when she insisted he take the damn thing off and she hated him wearing it. They were the kinder comments though he chose to ignore her words.
They caused a scene, a biker tried to come to Lisbon's defence though he'd been shocked when he threatened Jane and quickly found himself flat on the floor with Lisbon hovering over him.
"Fine, lets go" she stormed out, her anger moving from the scum of the city to the man who followed her.
It was the first time Jane found himself inside Lisbon's apartment, boxes still packed up as testament to her fear of commitment even to something as simple as a lease. He knew she was drunk; Jane knew Lisbon also hated that he was in her space and seeing her like this, yet he did not leave, he took her harsh words and played caretaker, making sure she got to bed safely, making sure there was painkillers and a drink of water waiting for her.
The next morning Lisbon was sober and just as angry, not just at Jane, she was angry at herself. After a cold shower Lisbon freshened herself up and braved the journey downstairs to find Jane still inside her apartment, fast asleep on her couch.
A little anger vanished at the peaceful sight, at the even breathing and quiet snore. Feeling more charitable Lisbon went out to get herself some greasy breakfast and was kind enough to return with something for Jane too.
They ate silently, though she eyed him warily and promptly kicked him out. He wouldn't leave, that mouth of his went to work and his cocky attitude rubbed Lisbon the wrong way. She yelled he did not know everything, though inside she had no confidence in the statement because time and time again Patrick Jane proved himself right. Still, that was not the point and their voices grew louder, their bodies closer, and neither one could quite remember why they were angry to begin with, they just were.
It was that anger that drove the loss of control, one second they were fighting, matching barb for barb and then Lisbon seemed to realise just how close they were and the yelling abruptly stopped, breathing heavy. And the mask fell, it was just for a moment but in that moment Jane saw everything she hid as her pupils dilated.
A few seconds was all it took. A second to pause, a second to see, and in the next their mouths were busy doing more than yelling. Angry passion consuming them.
There was a moment that he briefly smiled, when her hands deftly unbuttoned his vest and slipped it off his shoulders, abandoning her self-proclaimed hated item to the ground. Then he couldn't think at all, and their clothes soon joined the vest and nothing stood between them.
It was quickly than Jane would have liked, the intensity too great to slow either one of them down. If he had thought about it Jane wouldn't have wanted it to happen like this, he would have wanted something slower and more careful, something a lot more comfortable preferably with a softer surface than a bookcase. Then again Jane feared that if he had stopped and thought about it then it would have never happened so he didn't complain about the circumstances as his body recovered and while Lisbon was still senseless from her orgasm, far from complaining herself, he carried her to the bedroom instead.
The lack of thought vanished quickly and was replaced with too many thoughts. Lisbon felt selfish, and more than a little guilty. Her rush felt more premeditated to the detective, for she feared she'd moved things so far and fast so Jane did not have the chance to change his mind, acting purely in the moment.
Lisbon did not believe this is what Jane wanted, and was loathe to admit she had been wanting it for much longer than even she realised.
"I can hear you thinking" Jane whispered against her naked shoulder as her breathing returned to normal and a crease appeared between her brow. Lisbon did not know what to say so she said nothing, and fifteen silent minutes later Lisbon escaped to the shower with instructions to lock up when he left.
The stubborn man inside Jane refused to just leave though when it became clear that Lisbon had no intention of leaving her bathroom until Jane had left the rumpled blonde quietly did as instructed.
A week later Lisbon finally returned to work, cornering Jane long enough to tell him that it never even happened before falling back onto avoidance.
It was different though because it had happened and now whenever Lisbon caught him smiling at her she saw a smug smirk instead, as much as she wanted to pretend it was not as easy as Lisbon had thought it would be.
"Stop looking at me like that" she hissed one day, pulling him into her office from the hallway outside it.
Oh, so innocent, "like what?" his smile drove her mad.
"Like you've seen me naked!"
Jane grinned, his eyes sparkling and he did not need words to let her know his response yet he spoke anyway, sounding far too smug.
And Lisbon just wanted to wipe the smug smirk off his face, kissing him seemed the easiest way to do so.
It was meant to be different than it was, yet somehow it was sweet and slow and yet just as passionate as their interlude in her apartment a month prior.
Then Jane had been the one guiding it, this time Lisbon pushed Jane onto the old couch in her office and climbed into his lap. This time he did not see her naked, and her hands gripped his vest the whole time.
Afterwards Lisbon was just grateful no one else stayed this late on their floor. She told herself it was just sex, easy controllable sex that was a result of a high-pressured job and chemicals. That did not completely explain how it became a habit, why either one kept turning to the other.
Every time Lisbon told herself it would be the last time, only for a week or two later to find herself making the same promise. Or threat.
One time she lasted a month.
Lisbon refused to look to closely at the situation, Jane was not sure either one of them could handle more than their late-night meetings in her office or those unpredictable visits to her apartment.
It was not lost on Jane that he found himself at that door more and more often until suddenly she stopped answering.
The fighting at work became more heated, Jane frustrated that Lisbon would not really talk to him, frustrated that he even cared that she would not answer her door anymore. It would be easy for Jane to simply pick her lock; he knew she was home and that she hadn't found distraction with anyone else.
Yet he didn't, instead Jane took a step back and stopped rising to her bait. And he watched and waited.
It was fear that held him back, and then Jane couldn't not say something. Did she think he was so clueless that he did not notice all the signs, Jane tried not to resent her silence and then one day he could not hold it in any longer.
The kitchenette was small, it was easy to get Rigsby to leave quickly and to block Lisbon's path of escape.
"When are you planning on telling me?"
Green eyes widened and Lisbon's honest face betrayed all her worries, "excuse me?"
"You know what I mean"
"Well," she was panicking, "if you already know something why do I need to tell you, huh, Mr I-know-everything"
"I need to hear you say it"
Her eyes raced around the room, Jane knew he'd won so he gave her the space to escape and followed her to the office and waited as she closed the blinds and locked the door. Lisbon didn't turn around, her back remained to him.
The thought had first entered his mind two weeks ago, yet he wasn't sure until four days ago, so when she confirmed his suspicions, it shouldn't have come as a shock yet it still did.
A pregnancy was a complication neither one had ever considered during their undefined moments, and both had very real reasons to not want this particular complication.
Lisbon was a private person, she liked to keep a very large valley between her professional life and her personal life, she also believed in the sanctity of marriage and despite not judging others for their choices being an unwed mother was not something Lisbon ever considered her path. Being a wife and mother was not something she pictured in her near future either, her career taking priority spot. In a very real way Lisbon did not want this baby, having this baby in this time of her life with this man would put her face to face with a lot of emotions and realities she was not ready for. Still, Lisbon also did not feel comfortable with abortion and apart of her feared Jane not wanting this baby, and she could admit to herself it was that fear and the that he may suggest not having their baby that had kept her silent for so long.
Because despite any part of her that did not want this baby a far larger one did. A part of her wanted this baby with this man. And that scared her more than anything.
After months of not talking about whatever was between them, they finally had to talk, and so they did. In her tiny apartment they discussed it for days, going over their options. Lisbon seemed to be trying to tell Jane every reason why it wouldn't work and though he agreed on many of them he disagreed on many others.
In the end they narrowed their choices down. It was simple really, Lisbon was having a baby, his baby, and Jane wanted to be there for both of them. As different as they were both were old fashioned in their own way, and they circled back to the same conclusion.
No one knew beforehand, Jane and Lisbon went to the courthouse and made it official with no one close to them knowing.
Lisbon met Patrick Jane as a victim, and somehow he'd morphed into her partner, then her friend and even her lover. Now the title of husband and wife was added to their relationship. They didn't exchange rings, they hadn't even discussed their actual feelings towards each other, Jane still wore his wedding band from his deceased wife and Lisbon remained Teresa Lisbon, naked finger and all.
A text to her brothers announced the marriage to family, and though the three Lisbon boys had raged at not being included they were pacified by the promise of a church ceremony in Chicago a month later.
Minelli, Lisbon's boss, was his own sort of angry when a contrite Lisbon sat across from the older man who had been her mentor, and admitted she had married the troublesome consultant that Minelli was fond of referring to as a menace.
It was not something he had expected and he'd given a long and furious lecture letting her know his disappointment. As a former detective Minelli did not have to be told the exact reason for the impromptu marriage, he'd guessed it a minute after Lisbon confessed she married Patrick Jane.
"I knew he was trouble but I thought you had more sense. Patrick Jane, of all men! He's a complete mess"
Lisbon agreed, but things happen and it was too late now.
The Red John case was taken off their team, Minelli spoke of propriety, how he could not have a wife investigating the murder of her husband's ex-wife, and though technically a relationship between them was not against any official CBI regulations Minelli did not feel comfortable with how close they clearly had become and considering Jane's unique behaviour in the field he did not want Jane on her team anymore.
All Lisbon could do was nod.
Despite the disappointment and the stern reprimand, after the disapproving lecture Minelli offered only his support to a terrified Lisbon.
Jane on the other hand received their boss's ire and a very clear warning, don't make the same mistake twice.
And the second time husband swore he would not, not just to Lisbon's brothers and boss, he swore to himself that he would not fail again, he would protect this wife and child with everything he had.
The open case of the Californian based serial killer was passed to Samuel Bosco Jr, Lisbon assured Jane he was a good cop and though at first Jane tried to work with the older man they clashed from the beginning. Bosco made it clear that Jane's place was not with him and Jane's success did not translate to the other team due to Bosco's refusal to respect Jane.
At the office Lisbon's marriage might as well not even exist, as private as she always had been no one was aware that the feisty special agent in charge was even dating anyone let alone married.
The disappearance of the quirky three-piece wearing consultant barely made a blip amongst the water cooler gossip. After all Patrick Jane's unconventional ways were hardly CBI material and now that Bisco had the Red John case and refused to work with the grieving widow there seemed no point for the man to stick around. What happened to Patrick Jane did not really matter to those in law enforcement, they were busy with other things.
Of course, some eyebrows were raised when it became obvious that Lisbon hadn't just simply eaten too many donuts, though it wasn't a surprise that an attractive woman of a certain age would be sexually active and anyone who tried to touch personal subjects with the woman knew there was no point to speculate.
Eventually Cho and Rigsby knew, Cho having deduced the father of his boss's child after noting that on more than one occasion before Jane left the man had suspiciously smelt of the same body wash and shampoo of their boss. Rigsby hadn't believed the other detective when he'd casually stated his believe when Rigsby had speculated on the 'bumps' origin.
Cho's evidence had convinced his friend though the two of them kept the knowledge to themself.
It was only when Lisbon left work early for an ultrasound that Cho politely asked if Jane was picking her up for it, she'd paused only for a moment before blinking and confirming that he was.
Their marriage was not like most marriages, both aware that it wasn't exactly a love match and they would not have married if not for their impending child. Jane was not over the loss of his first wife and child, and having another family so soon after caused a stir of emotions in the former psychic. And though there was hope and affection there was also bone chilling anxiety.
Lisbon was used to being independent, used to being the tough one, her default setting pushed against all Jane's protective, caring and hand on instincts. As hard as Jane worked on bringing his walls down Lisbon worked just at hard at keeping her own up.
It was easier to face your husband being in love with another woman, if you tell yourself, you don't love him either.
It was awkward at first, still just like it had been at work, at home they fell into a natural rhythm, complimenting each other's lives and bantering like an old married couple, and the further along her pregnancy went the more Lisbon allowed her husband to take care of her.
Maxwell Jane was born after a long thirty-eight-hour labour, his mother exhausted and pale while his father held him with tears streaming freely from his eyes.
It all seemed worth it now and a new purpose entered their lives, one that tied them together and they became a different sort of team. They had excelled on the field together and they soon learnt that together with the love for their small helpless child they worked just as well in another setting.
A few days before her maternity leave was due to end Lisbon opened the loud knocking on her door, tired and more than a little angry there was visitor when Max had just been put to bed.
"Sam, what are you doing here?" she stared at her former boss who stared right back at her.
Confused Bosco scowled, "what are you doing here?"
"Seeing it's my damn home-"
"Your home?" Sam hadn't completely pieced it together when the sounds of a crying baby broke their dispute and Jane suddenly appeared juggling Max and announcing the boy was hungry, he grinned as he passed the small infant to Lisbon while Sam watched on growing more and more furious, his face read when Jane called Lisbon by her given name Teresa.
It was a habit Jane had started and refused to stop after the second time they had been intimate, rarely slipping back to Lisbon unless in moments of shock or fear.
The tense ten-minute interaction ended with Bosco leaving in fury, Lisbon turned to Jane shocked at the man in front of her as she had never seen her husband behave in such a way. There had been no teasing or charm in sight, if Lisbon had attempted to drop her protective wall down she might have realised what she had witnessed was her husband being possessive and a little jealous, marking his territory to be precise.
On her first day back to work Lisbon knocked on Bosco's door and it took five seconds for the man to start expressing his displeasure. It did not go well for ether one of them and it was months before the two spoke civilly again, after Mandy Bosco had ran into Lisbon and Max at the grocery store.
Lisbon had laughed when Jane had announced once that Bosco was in love with her, denying it and blind to the men in her life and their true feelings towards her.
A truce was met, and when Max turned one the Bosco's brought their teenage children to the small barbeque. Jane and Bosco still did not get along, the older man making it clear he did not think Jane was good enough for Lisbon, while Jane simply did not care what Bosco thought.
Jane cared about two things, his son and his wife. And just as it had been at work, at home their roles were similar to the strict mom and the fun dad. Jane thrived in fatherhood, retiring to be the stay-at-home father, gambling occasionally to keep them more than comfortable despite Lisbon's objections. It took Lisbon a while to get used to always coming home to a warm and clean house, dinner cooked every night and more days than not a packed lunch as well.
It was the type of life style a girl could easily get used to, which made Lisbon nervous as she wondered when it would all just vanish. It didn't though.
Jane didn't suddenly change overnight, he didn't stop the affection and the warmth, he never grew angry and violent. Instead, the husband and father filled the house with joy. It was harder and harder for Lisbon to ignore the love that only grew more insistent.
To watch her husband and son together was inspiring, Jane adored their son and appeared to be the perfect father. Some days the comparison drained Lisbon, her self-doubt seeping into how she views herself as a mother no matter how many times Jane told her what a great mom she was.
When a few years into their marriage Jane asked his wife if she would consider having another child, Lisbon could not say no. After all Jane was such a perfect husband and father despite her belief that he did not love her.
Not only did he take such good care of her, their home and Max, Jane also was a constant help solving cases, being her sound board after work and often showing up incognito in the field to help her team out.
A little over three years after the birth of Maxwell Jane he was joined by his twin brothers, Timothy and Dorian Jane. This time there were no tears, Jane held his newest sons with confidence and joy, thrilled to be growing his family.
Fear had slowly lessened over time, he had a badass wife who carried a glock and could tackle men twice her size, and he had three healthy boys who kept him on his toes. Of course, Jane worried every time Lisbon left the house and breathed a sigh of relief every time his wife came home at night, yet he had long ago thanked Minelli for taking the Red John case away from Lisbon. It had been a conflicting thought at first, his desire to hunt Red John and rid the world of his evil, and his equal desire to keep his wife Teresa as far away from the man as possible. After Bosco took over the case Jane had made her promise to let it go, not to go near it, he didn't tell her why, never explained that the last thing he wanted was to draw the killer's attention to her.
Despite the pleasant setting of their marriage and the happy life they built together they still had many secrets from each other. They had never said I love you to the other, the time never seemed right and then as years had gone without the words it had become harder and harder to be the first one to say them. They both feared they would not hear it back.
They said it to the children, often and openly, and Lisbon could not find it in herself to regret the lapse in judgement that had led to her children. Each one was perfect and their own unique little person, a combination of their parents.
The three boys looked alike enough, easily spotted as brothers. Max and Timothy had a similar solid build that promised their fathers frame, while Dorian was slighter. Where as Max inherited their mother's dark hair and green eyes, the twins both had matching blue eyes and fair curls though Dorian's were the curliest and seemed a darker blonde, Lisbon suspected he would turn brunette with age. They all tanned easily like their father yet it was Max who had Jane's smile.
The eldest Max had a shy personality, more reserved, he went to his father whenever he was hurt yet called for his mother whenever he was scared. Timothy was fussy, stubborn and demanding, he would not admit if he was hurt or scared and always took a little longer to greet his mother when he went too long without seeing her. Dorian had an easy, charming personality though was fiercely independent and the most physically active of the boys, dragging his father around for adventures.
Lisbon could not deny she was happy and had a good life. Every aspect was going well, a successful and fulfilling career, three wonderful and healthy children and a husband…
A husband who treated her well, who took care of her family and who gave her the best sex of her life.
Yet despite all this Lisbon still wanted more and felt terrible that she did.
After five years of marriage and only a year after the twins' birth, Lisbon stood alone in the most out of way bathroom stall in the entire CBI, and stared down at the positive pregnancy test with the same amount of apprehension from her first unplanned pregnancy.
With the boys Lisbon had silently stressed how Jane would react if they had a baby girl, and had been secretly pleased when she'd had son after son. Not wanting her child to ever be compared against the sister they would never meet. Lisbon knew all too well how it felt to compete with a ghost and feel lacking.
This time Lisbon had a gut feeling that nothing would stop the inevitable, she was going to give birth to a little girl. Tears fell, hormones going crazy, and Lisbon was faced with that clawing want of more once again.
She wanted his love, she wanted him to love her as much as she had grown to love him because she did. Despite everything she had done to protect herself from that fate, Patrick Jane had clawed his way into her heart and planted himself firmly to the point she did not think she would ever be able to live without him.
And it hurt to think Jane would never feel the same way, that every time he touched Lisbon he still wore the wedding band that belonged to the wife he'd chosen for love, that he would not even let her near the case anymore.
Lisbon had not been able to keep her promise and the guilt had eaten away inside her. It had been too easy to talk Bosco into sharing everything in the Red John case with her, every new victim or lead, not that there ever was anything to go by. After all he owed her. A secret for a secret.
Lisbon held a lot of secrets. Mostly from her husband.
Secrets that were destined to come out, she just did not realise how soon it would happen.
The phone call seemed inconspicuous, Bosco only slightly more urgent in the message, Lisbon told herself she would go see him in his office the moment got to work. A few things had held her up and Lisbon was a little more hurried when she made it to Bosco's bullring, his secretary by her side carrying muffins.
And then there was screaming, and blood so much blood.
Bosco and his team had all been murdered but it was the last body found at another site that let it be known who was behind the murders, it was clear with the smiling face painted in blood.
Too many dead agents, a missing body and a guilty secretary later and Lisbon felt no closer to answers until a day after Bosco's funeral Lisbon remembered that voice message. She had never checked the Osborne file.
It had been a simple ploy, a copy of all the Red Jon files boxed under another case for Lisbon to go over without anyone being the wiser. Every night before he left work Bosco would update it if needed and any new evidence would be placed there for Lisbon to see before being moved to where they belong.
And it was there Lisbon found the sealed evidence of Carter Peak's missing clothes, or what was left of them. They were covered in old blood.
Red John's mistake.
Lisbon sat on the evidence unsure what to do, who to tell or trust. After Bosco's murder a disturbing theory had taken shape inside her mind. Red John was law enforcement.
The lack of and tampered evidence, the way he always seemed ahead of the police. Accomplices were a given, Bosco's secretary Rebecca being one of them. Lisbon did not know who else in the CBI could be involved, or even be Red John himself.
The secrets grew as Lisbon dived into her renewed investigation, and when the FBI took over the case and Agent Darcy focused on Red John the two of them slowly began to suspect a greater threat, and when they met Bob Kirkland, it didn't seem so crazy when he suggested a secret organization in California made up of corrupt law enforcement, judges and politicians.
They sent the evidence under a different case name, Agent Darcy vouching for Dennis Abbott from the Austen office hoping the ruse would deter suspicion. And then they waited.
At home Lisbon kept her secret investigation from her husband, her pregnancy becoming an advantage as it distracted the oblivious man. Jane insisted the small three bedroom they now lived in was going to be too small once they had four children, he was making plans, even commented how he hoped maybe for a girl after three boys in a row, an indulgent smile on his face as he said it wouldn't matter. His happiness made Lisbon feel even more guilty, yet she kept her secrets tighter to her chest and prayed to god that everything would work out.
It was a Sunday afternoon when it happened. Jane's Sunday, Lisbon called it, as they took turns between Lisbon taking the children to church and Jane taking them out. A compromise of faith.
This Sunday Lisbon left church alone knowing she would return to an empty house; her husband having taken the boys to the beach instead. Jane had promised to stop by her favourite market for apples and strawberries on the way home so Lisbon was looking forward to her family time in a few hours, hoping to surprise Jane with dinner this time before they relax for a movie night.
It's not every weekend that Lisbon gets murder free.
Yet the second she stepped inside something felt off, still Lisbon went through the process of taking her weapon out of the holster and securing the gun away. A little too slowly, her movements odd to anyone who knew her well.
It was habit that had Lisbon turn her phone to silent during church, yet it was a sense of knowing that distracted her that had Lisbon forget to turn the volume back on. If she had Lisbon would have seen the missed phone calls, the texts that went with them.
The bedroom door was closed. A normal sight for most households, a glaring oddity in the Lisbon Jane home.
Another habit born from trauma. Jane still occasionally had nightmares about the night he found his family murdered, the closed door with the note, having to open it to reveal the sight that awaited him.
They never left the door closed unless they were both already inside the room, Patrick Jane would never have to open his bedroom door again and fear what he would find on the other side.
The over dramatic display of ridding herself of her gun became forgotten as Lisbon reached for her still very much there second weapon.
A little too slow though as suddenly the watching figure moved before Lisbon could reach her hidden gun, body crushing into her. They wrestled, though Lisbon wasn't at as much of a disadvantage as her opponent had expected, her hand found the gun, a shot firing out into the ceiling.
It all happened so fast, her hands were suddenly empty, a burning sensation in her left shoulder followed by the realisation she had been shot. Lisbon felt adrenaline take control, her fight reflex stopping fear freezing her, she went to kick out only to witness her attacker throw the weapon away from the both of them and come at her again, a hand digging into her still bleeding wound.
A few second later Lisbon felt a prick on the opposite shoulder and then there was silence. The fight was taken from the woman's body as her limbs no longer responded to her commands and with her eyes wide open Lisbon realised the man atop her and drugged her with a paralytic. And fear filled her, not just for her own self but for her unborn child and for the husband that didn't deserve to find another dead wife waiting for him at home.
Her death seemed inevitable, the intruder stood with a smile, and then he leant down pulled her by her arms into the master room. Lisbon wanted to swear yet was unable to speak as her body was placed on the bed, almost carefully which caused an unseen shiver to tun down her back.
If there was any doubt who this was, the knife he pulled out gave it away. Lisbon knew she was finally face to face with Red John.
Unable to do anything other than watch and think Lisbon couldn't help but note he looked unremarkable, of a slim build with a weak chin and almost forgettable eyes, balding and grey haired.
Yet there was something familiar about him and Lisbon knew she had seen this man somewhere before.
A strange smile took over his face as he stared down at Lisbon, poised above her with a knee on either side of her. With two fingers Red John dug his fingers into her already bleeding bullet wound and then helplessly Lisbon watched him draw his signature calling card above her bed head, this time in her own blood.
I'm sorry, Patrick. Lisbon thought, preparing for her last moments.
"You know, when I was told who was getting a little too close, I was confused, who the hell is Teresa Lisbon? Forgive me for forgetting about you-" his voice was overly sweet as his hands casually began to undress her, "-but so many have been given my case. No one had ever come back for a second go though, but then again…" he smiled, "when I found out who you really are, it was like a gift and who looks a gift horse in the mouth, certainly not me" the knife tabbed her chin, "when opportunity knocks"
Chatty, aren't you?
"Oh, don't look at me in that way, Teresa. You of all people must understand temptation. Patrick Jane's wife" he laughed loudly with glee, "and pregnant no less" he stripped off her blouse, the knife tapping the swell of her belly as he did so.
It was more effort for him to shimmy her out of the pants. He took a longer time to pose her in the desired way, then Red John stood by the bed to look at her again smiling with approval.
"I did want the whole collection" Red John paused to pick up the portrait of the three boys that held the place of pride on the bedside table, "what a pretty picture the four of you would have made, I could have cut the latest little piggy from your belly and placed her in your arms. A girl I had hoped. Oh well" he placed the photo back down, "this shall do. It was just too difficult to get you and the children alone without Jane, he is much more attentive with this family" there was almost pride in the killer's words.
"I almost feel bad that I have to do this. But the poetry of it, you understand, I could not let it go. Darcy got a bullet, but you, Teresa, are special" his sick smile was still on his still familiar face, Lisbon tried to put a name to it, tried to figure out how she him just in case somehow she could leave a clue.
The next time his knife touched her skin, the blade's point at the injured shoulder, he let it draw blood. Bringing the knife to his face Red John ran his fingers over the bloody knife and Lisbon could only lay still as Red John placed his fingers on her face and she felt the wetness take shape, a circular motion before it touched both eyes and finally a large crescent over her mouth. A smiley face she realised, "special" he whispered.
Whatever was next Lisbon never found out, one moment Red John was above her, the next her face was suddenly sprayed in blood and Red Johns body was limp atop her.
Cho and Rigsby were there in her room, "Boss! Boss?"
Relief filled Lisbon and she let go of her fear, her acceptance of death, a lone tear came from her frozen face as Cho leant close to her, his fingers at her pulse "she's alive! Get an ambulance here stat".
It's over, Lisbon though as she waited unable to do anything else except perhaps to pray. Pray for her baby, and pray for gratitude.
Along the way Lisbon fell asleep, waking in a hospital room with the sensation of her limbs back, a numbness to her injured arm. Her hands automatically clutched the swell of her abdomen and was rewarded by a movement under her palms.
She whimpered.
The man next to her bed lifted his head, his face tired and red, lighting up when he saw her, his hands reaching for her and gripping them, "you're okay, you're both okay" and Jane pulled her into an embrace, "You can't do this to me, you hear? I don't know what I would do if I lost you, my love" voice filled with emotion Jane would not let Lisbon go, he clung to his wife.
Tears fell from both of them, and once they began they didn't seem to want to stop.
And suddenly after seven years it finally felt like the right time, "I love you, Teresa, I love you" Jane peppered kisses along her lips, resting his forehead against hers.
His words were perhaps the most shocking moment of her day, Lisbon sucked in a breath then let it go.
"I love you, too".
...
Authors Note: A little oneshot Au, I was thinking what if Jane and Lisbon did crack sooner how could it have possibly changed things. Though honestly in my head canon I vkinda think at one point they had a one night stand perhaps before the series started. i believe Jane's family was murdered about 5 years before the series (based off the 9 year anniversary in season 4) and it appears Jane met Lisbon a year after the death. in this fic the timeline has them married with a child before the series would have started and ended end of season 2ish with their eldest 4 turning 5. I feel like its a believable advancement, if they had given in to their chemistry, I can imagine Lisbon trying to pretend it didn't happen, I can imagine once given in they would do so again, and I imagine how easily he got her pregnant in season 7 that an unplanned pregnancy would be a believable development and that the tw of them would have a marriage of convenience for lack of a better word.
I also thought it very believable that without Jane going after Red John and putting them all in his eyeline, Bosco getting the case sooner, then Red Johns attention wouldn't have stayed on Jane and escalated as much as it did. It made sense to me that in this circumstance Jane would focus on his child/children and not want his wife working on the case even if Minelli was cool with it.
disclaimer, yeah i dont own any hit shows