1.
It's late (or early?) when they arrive in Hawaii, they're exhausted, the time difference is astounding for still being in the United States, and both of them are still a little shocked that this has happened; twenty-four hours ago, neither of them could've predicted they would be on vacation, together, in Hawaii.
After they check into their hotel room, Josh collapses on the bed – the first time in nearly a year, probably, that he actually has the opportunity to sleep as much as he wants. He doesn't close his eyes, though. Instead, he watches Donna as she putters around taking stock of their hotel room. She opens the closet, peeks in the drawers, disappears into the bathroom, and then returns to look out to the balcony at their view (even though the sun isn't out yet).
It's not that this is new, at all – he's seen Donna take stock of a lot of hotel rooms in the past nine years.
But it's completely different now.
Since Election Day things had shifted between them. Neither of them had really been sure what it meant, but one thing was for sure: the attraction, the feelings, the desire that had been hidden for years (sometimes, not so subtly) was laid out on the table now in some aspect and had uprooted the entire premise of repressed feelings their relationship had run on for years.
Now they're traveling together – something they've done a thousand times, but this time there's no guise of work to it. There're no memos, no agendas, no meetings, no campaign rallies, no speeches, no colleagues. It's just them, on an airplane, traveling for pleasure. They've barely "been together," if they can even call it that at this point, a few weeks- maybe hours, depending on how you look at it. They haven't even gotten a chance to really get their footing here (or even talk about what it is). Yet here they are doing the most domestic of things: Donna sleeping open-mouthed next to him on an airplane, Josh waiting for her outside of the ladies' room in the airport, juggling their luggage together and hailing a cab, checking into a hotel and taking stock of the room.
It shouldn't feel different because they've done all these things together, before. But it feels wildly different because it is.
Donna frowns when she can't see much of the view outside the window – the sun still isn't up – and Josh laughs a little. She turns to him and puts her hands on her hips, surveying his collapse onto the bed.
"You can't go to sleep now or you'll never adjust to the time change."
"What's it matter?" he asks, his eyes shining with delight as he sits up and reaches for her hips to pull her close to him, "We don't have to leave this room all week," he murmurs kissing her gently and softly. "We're on our own time."
She rolls her eyes, but she giggles anyway, the newfound excitement of all this getting to her. She's been in brand new relationships before, but never had one felt as thrilling as this.
"You have a point," she says with a gleam in her eye. She has to admit, she's exhausted, too.
"I know this whole thing is new, but is it unromantic if I proposition you to bed with me and it's really for sleep?" Josh asks with a chuckle and a kiss to the side of her head.
"God, no," she says with a contented sigh. "That's the most romantic thing you could say to me right now."
She pulls away and he's amazed when she opens her bag and pulls out a change of clothes, pulling off her shirt right in front of him. Things like that are definitely not things that used to happen before, and he has to say he really likes this newfound layer to their relationship.
2.
Donna wakes up and looks at the clock in their hotel room.
It's 2pm.
She blinks and looks at it again in disbelief. Josh is still asleep next to her, and she takes a moment to appreciate him like this – peacefully asleep and actually allowing himself some rest. His hair is a mess, his hand is thrown over his face, and his pillow is nowhere near his head. His mouth is open slightly and he's breathing heavily but he's not quite snoring.
She tries to quietly slip away to the bathroom, but when she returns, she finds that he's awake (albeit only slightly).
"It's 2pm," he tells her as blinks his eyes from sleep several times and tries to focus on her as he pushes himself to sit up on the bed.
She laughs. "I know."
"We slept until 2pm."
"We're wild."
"We had eight hours of sleep. I don't know that I've ever had eight hours of sleep."
She shakes her head but can't help but grin at him as she falls back down onto the bed beside him. "What should we do today?" She knows his answer to her question almost immediately based off the glint in his eye, one she's beginning to recognize. One she's beginning to like, a lot.
"I'm finally well rested for the first time in years and I've got a lot to do, right here," he says simply as he reaches for her. "I owe you a proposition to bed that's not for sleep."
"Josh," she mumbles as he kisses a path from her neck to her collarbone.
"Let's spend the day right here."
"We should go out and explore," she weakly protests, his plans already starting to sound interesting.
"I'm going to spend the rest of the day exploring every inch of you."
She continues her protest and she's not sure why because she doesn't think that she even wants to convince him. "We're in Hawaii."
"Figure out where you're ticklish," he adds as he runs his fingers lightly over her ribcage, testing out one hypothesis that he's already begun to discover and is confirmed when she gasps and giggles slightly.
"We should probably get food," she protests.
"Find out what drives you crazy." He sucks the skin into his mouth and she has nothing to counter with this time. "Figure out how to always make you say my name that breathless way you did in Houston."
She bites her lip. "Well, you're not off to a bad start if that's your goal," she admits.
"Then," he says, "I should probably do it all over again, just to make sure I've got it down." He places a kiss on her arm. "For research."
"Okay," she relents. "Let's do that."
3.
Their resort has a nice restaurant and, to Donna's surprise, Josh (who has been firmly in camp let's-stay-in-the-room) has insisted they go.
After his last-minute invitation to Hawaii, she'd packed quickly and hastily. She managed to come up with the basics, but she hadn't been in her usual form of planning for every possible opportunity and scenario that could happen on a trip, not to mention half of her wardrobe was in storage. She hadn't had much use for swimsuits and formal wear on the campaign trail.
The hotel has a few shops so she separates herself from Josh (much to his chagrin) for the first time since they'd arrived to go find something to wear to dinner.
"You can watch CNN if you want," she tells him as she heads out the door. She hasn't seen him turn on the news or pick up a newspaper once, he didn't bring his phone or his laptop. She's shocked he hasn't had a breakdown by now, having no clue what's going on with the transition in his absence. Either he really trusts Sam or he's really trying to make a statement to her.
"This is vacation!" is his answer as she closes the door.
She finds the most reasonably priced dress she can and she notices with some glee that this is her first-time shopping with Josh in mind. Though she probably shouldn't, she knows he likes her in red. She's seen the way his eyes follow her when she has a lowcut back on her dresses. She's caught him enjoying dresses with high slits up the side. If she's completely honest with herself, she's picked out a few dresses during her tenure as his assistant with his reaction in mind though she had written it off as completely innocent.
Now she gets to do it in a completely non-innocent, fun, thrilling way.
When she dresses for dinner that night (after Josh complains he missed her while she was gone for all of forty-five minutes and spends some time showing her just how much – and unfortunately, the mark he left on her neck will not be covered by this dress she picked out, but who even cares) she finds that she's enjoying this freedom to express her feelings for Josh more than she ever imagined.
She steps out of the bathroom and he's busy buttoning his shirt, but then he glances at her and his jaw drops momentarily.
"Jesus, Donna," he says instantly. "You are so damn sexy."
Things like this she's not used to yet, despite the fact she's been imaging his reaction to the dress since she went to the shop. The words immediately make her stomach flutter and her heart race faster, but after nine years of having to hide any and all feelings they had for each other, hearing things like this come out of Josh's mouth give her a start.
"Hmm," she says, looping her arms around his neck and playing with the hair at the base of his neck.
"I'm serious," he says, pulling back from her to tug playfully at the thin strap over her shoulder. "You drive me crazy." He kisses her and whispers against her lips, "Always have." He places several gentle kisses to her shoulder and she feels his hand slide over her bare back. Oh, all the times she imagined they could do this when she wore those dresses, before.
"Josh," she half grumbles, half sighs as he moves his lips to her neck and down towards her shoulder. She's getting distracted and they have to go to dinner.
"We're taking this off later, though," he says seriously and his hands move to her hips and give them a squeeze. "Like, immediately after dinner."
Yeah. She could get used to this.
4.
The infamous talk comes in bits and pieces.
On the airplane, Josh explains that this vacation is his intention to truly give this relationship a go. Donna agrees with the plan.
The first night they order room service and Donna clarifies why she needed to quit. She explains to him what CJ had told him, how she had felt going to Gaza, and how she'd felt upon returning.
Josh feels guilty that he hadn't noticed the signs. Donna confesses she tried to hide them.
It's the fourth day when the elephant in the room is finally addressed. They've come to understand they want a relationship. Josh has admitted he won't be perfect at it but he's willing to try. Donna assures him she understands his job and she's not asking for perfection. He understands more about why she quit, now. They both understand with certainty, now, that their feelings of longing were mutual and had been there since the beginning.
The one thing they've yet to talk about is Josh's lack of willingness to promote her years ago, the events leading up to how she quit.
She knows she has some pent-up anger about this situation – but she knows he does, too. That's why their relationship had become so contentious on the early days of the campaigns.
It's bugging her that this topic of conversation is still lingering between them. She doesn't want to spoil anything by bringing this up, part of her afraid they'll return to the rhetoric they had in the early days on the campaign trail.
So finally that day as they ponder where to get dinner, something about their banter reminding her of the days they ordered lunch together at the office and the infamous last lunch that never was, she just blurts it out. "You were mad at me for quitting."
He's taken aback momentarily, having not expected this conversation at this particular moment.
He rubs his temple. "No, that wasn't… that's not…" he's not sure how to explain. "I wasn't mad."
She raises her eyebrows in disbelief. "Josh."
"I was upset. You just walked away."
"Because you couldn't you make time for me!" she remembers all too well how many times she had begged him to sit down with her.
"I know," he finally admits.
She quirks an eyebrow in annoyance. "You know?" she repeats in question.
"I should've," he says, open and vulnerable in his expression. "You want honesty – that's the honest answer. I should've. I made a mistake."
"A mistake?" she grumbles. "But all those years you just kept me there-"
He knows where this is going, remembers her comments about a short order cook. "I was never trying to hold you back. Not intentionally."
"You never promoted me –" she continues.
He huffs. "I didn't know that's what you wanted."
"I asked you for more!" she exclaims, knowing she had been very clear about that.
"I didn't know you wanted a promotion! That you wanted to leave!" he defends himself, because he'd truly never understood that. "I thought you just wanted more job responsibilities!'
"But if you really cared about my career-"
"I did!" he defends, because it really agonizes him that she continues to think that he didn't. "And I do!"
"Then why didn't you just think to promote me on your own? Why did I even have to ask for more? I mean, I get it. Bosses don't usually let good assistants go of their own volition but we were friends. If you really believed that I was worthy and capable and that I could do more then why didn't you push me to go?"
"Because I was in love with you!" he shouts and the room goes silent. She blinks at him a few times as she processes his words. He seems surprised, too, because maybe that's the first time he's realized the reasoning himself.
He calms down a bit and owns his words. "I probably should have because you deserved it, but I never sat there and intentionally thought about keeping you there selfishly. I was in love with you and it would've killed me to think about you leaving so I never thought about it."
"Oh," she finally says, as if it all suddenly makes sense to her and that relieves him in some way. "Was?" she finally asks, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.
"Am," he clarifies softly, nervously, his voice cracking. He rubs his forehead in frustration. "God this isn't the way to…"
Now she's laughing and he's not sure why. It doesn't seem like a particularly good sign that she'd be laughing right now – in the middle of a fight, when he just said he loves her (and has loved her) but for some reason it makes him crack a smile as he asks, "What?"
"Of course this is how we say we say it," she says with a fond roll of her eyes.
"We?" he wants to know, noticing she's included herself in the declaration of love.
"Yes," she confirms confidently with a small laugh as she grins and loops her arms around his neck, the argument from before starting to fade into a memory as she leans in to kiss him deeply, opening her mouth to him immediately when he seeks access. She pulls back for a moment and decides she should really say the actual words if they ever have a prayer of getting out of this pattern of misunderstandings that they sometimes fall into so she adds, "Yes. I love you."
He lets out a breath at the words, words he's never really imagined he would actually hear from her for so many years. He returns them himself in a more calm, clear, civilized manner this time. "God, I love you." He kisses her this time and then breaks away to add, "We should finish that discussion we were having," he protests weakly, knowing they probably still have more to say.
"I'm good," she mumbles against his lips. "I'm sorry for quitting that way because I'm sorry I hurt you."
"I get it," he confirms and begins to guide her backwards towards the bed.
"I thought we were going to dinner?" she teases him.
"Right now I'm going to show you how much I love you," he explains simply as he reaches for the hem of her shirt.
The words come out without her having to think twice about them, natural as anything. "You always have," she says softly, visions of Christmas gifts with meaningful notes, flights to Germany with only the clothes on his back, committing perjury over a diary and sitting with her on a park bench suddenly flooding her brain.
They've made mistakes (and she knows they will again) but everything is alright.
5.
They've spent the majority of the evening drinking various Hawaiian centric cocktails and Donna is definitely feeling the buzz and a hum of contentment as they head back to their room.
Josh stops at their door to find the keycard and she giggles uncontrollably when he inserts it into the door and gets the red error light: of course. He tries again, but he's had a few too many lava flows, too, and he can't even do this sober.
She laughs and swats at his hands. "Just let me do it," she says, grabbing the card from him and pushing him out of the way gently. He acquiesces instantly and instead wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her neck. He's distracting her (and, the alcohol), so she doesn't get it right on the first try either which makes him laugh into her neck. The feeling almost makes her give up on trying to open the door but she puts all her focus into the task at hand and hums triumphantly when the door opens.
Josh is equally glad, but only so he can get her inside and up against it.
6.
They've spent a lot of their time in Hawaii in their hotel room, but despite this they have managed to get the hang of how to find the best chairs at the private beach at their resort.
(Only one time did it take someone recognizing Josh, congratulating him on his win, and then vacating the chair for him.)
Donna's looking through a travel brochure – he's not sure why, really, because they have only one more day left before they have to go back to DC and she's still musing over all the various activities the island has to offer (including activities that require reservations months in advance, activities she would never convince him to do – except, he's sure she could – and activities that cost an arm and a leg).
He closes his eyes as he listens to her – she's talking about ziplining and how many different stations there are, how one goes right over the ocean and even dips you into the water if you want and then she's talking about the history of different Hawaiian volcanoes and suddenly it hits Josh that this is everything he wants for the rest of his life.
And the way it hits him, it doesn't even terrify him like he thinks it should, because really, this is everything he and Donna have always been but now this is them on a beach in Hawaii on vacation and he could easily take a lifetime of these moments, no longer having to be hidden behind the guise of work.
It seems crazy because they just started this, but in reality they know each other so well (the good and the bad) that now just finally get the good parts of it all: the affection, the words, the vacations, the flirtation, the sex.
He wants to listen to her strange facts and random trivia every single day.
A week ago, he was hemming and hawing over this whole thing, saying he didn't think he could get a handle on it in four weeks. Now six days later they're on vacation together, he's told her he's in love with her, and he is already thinking in terms of the rest of his life.
Maybe he should thank Sam for this.
"And older islands like Oahu used to be much taller," she says. His eyes are closed, listening to her and he's lost in his thoughts. She waits a beat before she says, "Josh?"
"Yeah," he responds.
"Were you even listening?" she asks, scrunching up her nose, but there's not even a hint of irritation in her voice and he notices her nose is a little bit pink – they should probably go back to the room soon, and he likes the sound of that.
"Hawaiian volcanoes were explosive during the last ice-age and the world's most massive volcano is located on the Big Island," he repeats.
She blinks. "Yeah."
"I'm always listening to you," he says. "I could listen to you forever.'
She frowns at him now. "Okay, are you having sunstroke?"
He just laughs and closes his eyes again, feeling contentment in the moment.
7.
It's their last day in Hawaii and she insists they venture out of the hotel room and the resort.
They rent a car and the only car available without a reservation is a Jeep Wrangler. The clerk at the car rental desk shrugs at them and says, "A lot of people want Jeeps when they come here, so we have a ton of them."
Donna loves the idea and they take the Jeep out for a drive to the North Shore. Josh grumbles about the car the whole time, but drives anyway. One of the trivia facts Donna had spouted off to him this week was that the months of November through February are the time of the infamous big waves on the North Shore and she wants to see them.
He has to admit he enjoys the drive, seeing more of the Island, the coastal route they're taking a big contradiction to the weather they'd be immersed in right now if they were still in DC.
She picks the music and sings along, her bare feet up on the dashboard and he can't imagine anything better.
They stop along the way for food from a food truck Donna has researched prior and take the food with them to the beach where they watch the surfers surf the big waves and many of them wipeout.
It's the drive back when the sudden downpour hits – it's rained several times already, but they've always been in their hotel room or their resort and ready to run for cover. The top of the Jeep is down and the rain pours down on them suddenly, Donna shrieking and Josh trying to focus on driving despite the rain soaking them.
"Where are the damn wipers on this thing?" he asks, blindly reaching around the car. Donna hunts for them and finds them, but she has no clue how to turn them to stay on, so she operates the wipers as he attempts to drive, rain still soaking them both.
Just as the rain intensifies, they reach a stoplight and pull off the highway. Suddenly they're both laughing and Donna jumps out of the car.
"Help me get the top up!" she says. They try and work the canvas top but it refuses to budge and they're both drenched now, anyway. The rain stops just as quickly as it started and they both stand there, stupefied.
"This thing's broken," Josh decides, still tugging at the roof.
Donna laughs, having given up on trying. "You're soaked."
"You're one to talk," Josh shoots back, taking in her hair dripping from the ends, her mascara running down her face.
"What just happened?" she laughs.
"I couldn't see a damn thing on that highway!" Josh recounts.
"I don't know how to make the wipers stay on," she adds.
"Let's go before it starts again," Josh insists and they spend the remainder of the ride driving back to their resort soaked, a puddle of water at Donna's feet, as she studies the wipers (just in case) and rings out her hair as they both laugh all the way back to their hotel.
Other guests give them glances as they walk through the resort drenched, a few of them understanding as the random torrential downpours are common in Hawaii.
He kicks off his shoes right away and Donna rings out her hair, it being a tangled mess by now.
"I look bedraggled," she laments as Josh tosses his wet t-shirt on the floor.
He grins at her and says, "Not the word I'd use."
"Okay Mr. 760 Verbal, what word would you use?"
"Hot," he says and she huffs out a laugh, understanding suddenly.
"This is hot?" she quirks an eyebrow at him.
"Amazingly," he tells her, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him towards the bathroom towards the shower.
8.
He seems relaxed on the plane, but she's antsy. She jiggles her leg and then she crosses one leg then the other. She flips through the magazine without reading anything, she closes her eyes and then opens them and tries to watch the movie.
The last week had been amazing. They've talked – they've talked about the past, they've talked about the past year, they both agree they want to give this relationship a real try.
She's got a small bit of anxiety at the back of her mind: what if, despite his best intentions, he returns to his zombie-like behavior with no time for anything including eating and sleeping, lest of all a relationship.
He's reading a newspaper – the first time he's really looked at current events at all, except for the couple of times he lingered on CNN in passing when he flipped the channels (and maybe when she was in the shower, she's sure).
He's already grumbled something about Secretary of State and he was scrawling notes on a piece of paper just a few moments ago when she tried to close her eyes.
"Donna?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you going to do about CJ's?" he asks.
"CJ's?" she asks, confused. Just hearing CJ's name is another dose of going back to reality, as does having to think about things like her unresolved living situation.
"You were staying with her before, right?"
"Yeah, I – I don't know. I guess I'll be able to get back into my apartment soon, but-"
"Don't."
She frowns. "Don't what?"
"Don't get back into your apartment soon. Move in with me," he says, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, not a hint of nervousness or anxiety in his demeanor.
"Move in with you?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "That's what you're thinking about right now?" she realizes, surprised as she had assumed he was in a DC politics state of mind already once he got his hands on the news. She remembers their conversation at Leo's funeral and adds, "Josh, you don't have to feel obligated to-"
"This isn't an obligation," he says simply and she watches as he folds the newspaper and puts It away in the pocket of the seat in front of him, like he wants to focus on her and this conversation completely. "I want to be with you all the time, just like this week. How can we go from that to living in separate apartments?"
"But-"
"And when things start getting crazy at work at least we'll wake up together. And come home together."
She's starting to feel her fears melt away. "Well, except for the days you crash in your office or leave at the crack of dawn for work. I hope your new assistant is prepared."
"Is that a yes?" he asks, taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze before rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.
God help her, people would think she's crazy: she's been in this relationship less than a week, give or take some days and it's moving at the speed of light. But really, it's not and the choice is obvious.
"Yeah. Yes."
"You should think about it carefully though, because I will have a Secret Service detail soon and that could be-"
"Yes."
The grin that comes over his face assures her that this is the right choice.
"Thank God," he says with a sigh. "I've never wanted anything more than you."
"What about getting Matt Santos to the White House?"
He laughs, that real deep laugh that's always made her insides twist but now they twist an enjoyable way because she knows she can act on her desires. "Close second."
"Josh."
"What?"
"You can't just say things like that when we're on an airplane and it makes me want to…"
He smirks and she receives a look that, she realizes now, she's always received a subdued version of but now he can give it to her without any hesitation. "Turning you on, Donnatella?"
"Josh," she hisses. "Stop it." He sees her cheeks blush and he knows that this relationship is going to continue to be amazing.
He lowers his voice to a whisper just for effect, because they have the row to themselves and no one's listening but he knows it will do things to her. "Mile high club?" he teases as he draws soft patterns on her knee over her jeans.
"Josh!" she whispers harshly, her face really flushed now. "No way. We're not doing that, you're too recognizable."
He snorts. "Good to know that's the only thing stopping you." He lets his hand still on her knee over her jeans and it teasingly slides higher, squeezing her thigh and lingering there, casually drifting to the inside of her thigh with a barely there touch. She lets herself enjoy it for a moment before swatting at his hand.
"Stop it. Insidious."
He winks at her. "Okay, well, I'll just save that energy for later when we get home."
Home.