Another life.
That's what it felt like. Another life. Someone else's experiences; she was looking at them from some faraway place. Through a pair of binoculars, or the scope of a rifle.
Lappland places her hand on the glass. Window shopping: even someone like her could enjoy something like that, every now and then. Yet as she peered through the translucent pane only inches from her face, and took notice of the dress's frills - the accents, the ribbons, the long black sleeves - she found that she suddenly didn't feel like buying anything anymore.
It was a maid dress.
Someone once said that the past was a gaping hole. One could do their utmost to run from it, but no matter how much distance you put between yourself and it, the tendrils that slink out from that terrible darkness always slither forward. There was no escaping your past. Anyone who told you otherwise was a fool; ignorant. Some mistakes and missteps were invisible to everyone else. Some were not. Her scars were a testament to that. She wore her mistakes on her skin, with the biggest regret being marked on her face, straight through the eye.
But this was a maid dress. Maid dresses always made her think of Siracusa. Her hometown. Her first real gig. The forks on her life path, the choices she's made, the choices she didn't make.
Rivers, streams, rivulets. It all flows out into the big open ocean. Here she was now in the city of Lungmen. This was her ocean now, and she'd never felt like a smaller fish than in this very moment. Even as Exusiai leaned in and stared right at her…
…even as Exusiai gave her a frankly ridiculous expression.
"Yo?" Exusiai put a finger to her own cheek. "Why do you have such a serious look on your face? It's really bumming me out!"
Lappland smiled, easily. "The phantoms of the past. Do you see?" She pointed to the suits and dresses beyond the window, and Exusiai hummed in thought.
"Looks like Siracusa. You and Texas," Exusiai told her.
"Indeed. This boutique is trying to emulate the Siracusan style. I just thought it was interesting."
"Just interesting?" Exusiai smirked. "You looked like you were about to start crying. Do you wanna go in? Maybe check it out for a little bit?"
"Hm? No, no, no… there's no need for that. I was just…" Lappland's words trailed off before she found them again. "Reminiscing."
"Come on." Exusiai held out her hand. "It's not like we don't have time! We can just check it out for a little bit. I'm curious now!"
Lappland scoffed, placing her calloused hand into Exusiai's softer palm. "Very well. We can take a look… for a little while. But only for a little while. To be in a store like this… no doubt these clothes are fake. Cheap knockoffs of the real brands," she muttered, like it somehow meant a lot to her. Maybe it really did.
The aroma of fancy perfume wafted straight past Exusiai's nostrils. It wasn't overpowering, but it sure smells expensive. Most things in Lungmen were overpriced anyway, on account of that dreadful economy. The gaudy chandeliers above their heads filled the space with an almost overwhelming brightness. There was no missing all the fine jewelry; the watches, the cuff links, the bracelets, and necklaces. Twinkling gemstones, shining pearls, fake fake fake fake fake. It was all a façade, but there was nothing wrong with playing pretend in a city like this. A city where almost everyone had another name. Another life.
Another life…
Exusiai tugs on Lappland's sleeve, breaking the dreamy Lupo out of her stupor. "I'm going to try something on!"
Lappland just nodded. She was about to comment on how out of place she felt in here. It's been years since she's even worn a suit, or a dress, with all the grandiosity such things would signify in that country.
Now her hair was disheveled to hell and back, like she'd never heard of a brush. Her tail, too, was an absolute mess. A well-worn feather duster of a Lupo tail. Her eyes go from her own backside, to the man behind the counter. A distinguished-looking Lupo, just staring at her, like he knew damn well that she didn't belong in here anymore.
He smiled nonetheless, exposing his pearly white teeth. Sharp. Fake, too.
"Buonasera! If you need help, please let me know, lupa. I can do your measurements, too." The man bowed his head, respectfully, prompting Lappland to smile.
"Grazie," she muttered, turning into the lake of dark suits and crisp buttons. She disappeared before she got to the other side, sinking into fancy wool, cotton, cashmere even.
How did she even get here?
It was a question that popped into her head suddenly. Surrounded by all this silk, she suddenly remembered a time when she belonged to a Family. A Family of her very own. No such things existed in Lungmen. Only whispers and remnants remain. Like this store she was standing in, it was all fake. The halcyon days were done. Now there was just dust.
Dust, and…
Exusiai suddenly rounded the corner, sticking her arms up. She wore a big grin on her face, and a dark suit jacket that was much too big for her. Lappland couldn't even see her hands - they were still hidden in the black sleeves.
"Check it out!" Exusiai beamed. "If we just go a few sizes smaller, I think I could wear it out! I've never really worn a fancy suit before… Does it feel good?"
"It does," Lappland told her, smirking, finger beneath her own chin. She looked Exusiai up and down, her expression putting her bemusement on full display. "You need the pants to go with it. And a dress shirt. And a tie. Although, you don't strike me as the suit-wearing type."
Exusiai pouted. "Well, neither are you!"
"Perhaps not so much anymore. You should ask Texas about it sometime."
"She does not like talking about you." Exusiai paused, and then frowned. "She doesn't even like it when we hang out. She thinks you're a bad influence on me! Can you imagine?"
"I simply cannot." Lappland took a red tie off the rack beside her, holding it up to the bubbly angel. "This complements you. Take it."
Exusiai took the tie from Lappland's grasp. "Now what?"
"A dress shirt and pants, of course. And a smaller jacket. You look ridiculous."
"You're jealous. You're totally jealous!"
"You might need to be measured," Lappland mused, "you have a small frame. Small hips. A big butt, though - most likely from all those sweets that you eat."
"I like to bake, sue me!" Exusiai stuck her tongue out, though she didn't protest as Lappland removed the suit jacket from her body. From there, it was only a matter of finding a much smaller size, something more in-line with Exusiai's more lithe frame.
"And this one," asked Lappland, "how is it?"
Exusiai chewed her lip thoughtfully. "It feels… better. A bit tight around the shoulders, though."
"We can get that fitted better for you," Lappland assured, taking Exusiai's hands in her own and raising them sky high. Exusiai's cheeks reddened from such a simple, yet intimate gesture. Her hands slipped through the sleeves of her jacket and stopped just above the wrist, which Lappland decided was satisfactory enough, at least for now.
"Now the shirt… and then the pants," said Lappland. "Piece by piece."
"Are you going to get these pants off of me, too?" Exusiai teased, only to be met with a flick against her nose. "Ow!"
"Don't be depraved. I'm in no mood for something like that. Although I suppose we'll see how I feel after I see you in the full outfit…"
It doesn't take very long to put together an outfit for Exusiai. Sure, it may not fit exactly right… but it's nothing that a bit of tailoring can't fix. Standing in front of the flustered angel, Lappland concentrates on helping the Sankta with her burgundy tie.
"Are you ever going to wear something like this? Or is this simply fun and games for you?" The Lupo asked.
"I think it'd be nice to have my own suit," said Exusiai. "Especially since… this kinda stuff… really appeals to you and Texas, doesn't it?"
"Do you do everything just to appeal to Texas and myself?"
"Yes."
"You had better not," said Lappland, and Exusiai couldn't help but laugh it off. She stops laughing once Lappland secures her tie for her, and the unpredictable Lupo went a step further with her unpredictability, deciding to kiss Exusiai over the forehead.
"Whoa." Exusiai blushed, suddenly feeling even smaller. "What was that for?"
"It looks good on you," Lappland complimented, smiling widely enough to show off her canines. "Let me buy it for you. The suit."
"Double whoa! Are you sure? You don't have to do that! And hey, maybe you shouldn't. If Texas finds out…" Exusiai didn't finish her sentence. She only frowned.
"I'll deal with the consequences," Lappland said, winking. "You ought to accept my generosity before I change my mind, little angel."
"I'm really not that much shorter than you!" Exusiai pouted cutely. "You don't have to keep calling me Little Angel!"
"...you think that's why I call you my little angel?"
"Eh? It doesn't have anything to do with my height?" Exusiai blinked, and suddenly her face grew twice as hot. "Could you… elaborate?"
"No."
"You're just gonna refuse to elaborate?"
"For now." Lappland held out her hand again, and Exusiai naturally took hold. "One day, I'll buy you a real suit. Something worthy of a Sicilian's graces. You can impress Texas with it," Lappland told her, smiling at the thought.
Exusiai looked pensive for a moment, even as she was led all the way to the front of the store. "What about you?" She asked.
"What about me?"
"What if I want to get in your good graces? What would I have to do then?"
Lappland turned her head to look at Exusiai. Exusiai, who was suddenly looking down at the floor, not daring to look straight in the Lupo's eye after saying something like that. Still, despite the Sankta's apprehension, Lappland's reply comes easy.
"You would have to never bring me in here again," she told Exusiai.
"You looked… distant. Like you were remembering something important. It's the same look I get whenever I see… a shiny new pistol. Or, when I see Mostima again, after all the time she spends avoiding me."
Lappland didn't know what to say to that.
She opted to say nothing, in the end. Sometimes nothing is the right choice.
Well, she squeezed Exusiai's hand as she held it. That was something she could give her, to go along with her spiffy new suit. But the silence between them was golden, and it was worth so much. Perhaps it was worth more than a trip down memory lane. Or, perhaps, every fake-ass brand in Lungmen.