When Ghosts Can't Ghost (a Bleach Fanfiction) by Seth's Kiss:
A/N: Hello there, ladies, gents and everyone else, in between and beyond! I'm Seth's Kiss, very nice to meet you! I've been writing on here for more than five years now, and I particularly dabble in the dark, angst and/or horror genres – yes, I write twisted, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, for the sake of awareness, you're very welcome. And on occasion, I also try to write humour? A semblance of it? ...Something? Well, I do try, up to you then if I do it justice, I guess, ha. Anyways, please do enjoy my attempt at being funny! Or insane - pretty sure this is full-out crazy.
Before further ado however, I'd like to mention that this is my little entry for the December's Gift Exchange Event, created, hosted and organized by the amazing SerenaJones-san - thank you SO much for letting me take part, dear X3! I'm like SO happy that I managed to finish by a deadline other than my own lol – I'm really bad at being able to be on time, it is disastrous and not even funny at this point T_T Anyways, I was the Secret Santa of my dearest friend, the absolutely lovely and wonderful NekoPantera – hope you enjoy this little here gift, love!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach or its characters, I am not Tite Kubo-sensei after all. I do own everything else however (plot and ideas); it all stemmed from an idea, suggestions, and an eccentric imagination. I'd also like to apologize beforehand if any of the characters are O.O.C, so let me know when you believe they are. I mean, I'll try as hard as I can to keep them in character (as we all attempt to do as fanfic writers), but I tend to let my writing take over my imagination at times (true story T_T).
Warnings: Um, very corny humour? Like I can't tell if it's really bad or just stale, so...sorry? Maybe mild horror - MILD though. We also got dearest Yumichika and lovely Yoruichi using they/them pronouns - I put these in the warnings for those who come at me like how dare you. Tis fanfiction, that's all I got to say. Oh, and also there'll be Language, here and there. Other than, as with all my fics, this will be Rated M, because Heaven above forbid you come across my other fics on accident – I kid you not when I say I write dark, not an exaggeration, no, no. That said, any advice within your reviews is, as always, warmly welcomed. However, if this story isn't in any way to your liking or if you sense something off, or if these themes or literally anything else doesn't appeal to you, either because it offends you or you're still underage please, freaking please, DON'T read. Kindly go back and browse for another fic... In all due politeness, shoo.
Summary: AU Oneshot: Kurosaki Ichigo says he never gets scared. So, he is dared to spend an entire chilly December night, alone, in the most haunted house his best friends know about. Whatever could go wrong? Light-hearted. Written for laughs. Gift for the lovely NekoPantera. Part of SerenaJones585's December Gift Exchange Event.
"I SO wish Ghost-mas was a thing," sighed Ayasegawa Yumichika as they threw themselves and slumped down in the sofa, a shy away from pouting "I still ain't done with Halloween. Give me those spooks all freaking year, damn it."
"Halloween is pure rubbish, if you ask me," stated Kurosaki Ichigo dispassionately, promptly earning a sheer aghast look from the other, before they glared pure white hot daggers his way.
"First, we did not ask," countered Yumichika smoothly, as they gestured at their little friend group, before they pointed an accusing finger at an utterly unperturbed Ichigo, smoking coolly "Second, how dare you."
"I will dare. It's just SO, UTTERLY, useless," grimaced Ichigo, earning dumbfounded stares "What's there to be scared of anyways?"
Shinji Hirako, Yasutora Sado, Madarame Ikkaku and Yumichika all exchanged glances then - two of them were amused, the other two unconvinced - before Ikkaku joined the conversation, grinning with a hint of derision: "Because, Kurosaki, of course, ya never get scared, do ya?"
"I don't," deadpanned Ichigo with absolute candour, causing Yumichika to actually shudder, while Hirako and Sado, watching on with amusement, smirked wide, and Ikkaku just gawked.
"Are you serious right now?"
"Does it look like I'm kidding?"
"Ok, bigshot. Prove it then. There's this super haunted house over down in Naruki(1) Town. It's like really haunted. There's even a documentary all about it – that place is almost cursed."
Smirking, Yumichika paused then as they honestly expected Ichigo to start sweating profusely and calling out on his own bluff. But instead, the other just nonchalantly drawled out: "Yeah, and?"
"Uh, well- Well- Well, we dare you spend a night there. Since you 'don't get scared' and all. Surely, you can, right-"
"Sure. And when do you wanna do this exactly?"
"Tonight?" let out Yumichika softly, with wide eyes, looking far less confident now, though Ikkaku nodded ardently, which merely led Ichigo to shrug in response, then get up to his feet.
"Alright, a bet it is. I'll go get ready then. Oh, and better decide on a decent amount for me to cash in when I win. Could really use that right now."
Everyone else in the lounge watched him as he left to get ready, before Ikkaku frowned as he tilted his head upon realizing something.
"He just said when I win, not if, didn't he? Didn't he?"
"Oooooof, yeah, mate, better start praying ya don't lose that bet. Last I heard, ya both broke," cackled Hirako with vigour, whereas Sado, beside him, nodded in strong, wordless agreement, leading Yumichika and Ikkaku to lock rather wide, concerned eyes with one another. Uh-oh. What had they just gotten themselves into?
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In all fairness, Ichigo had to admit, the house was pretty impressive, and daunting, to look at. An old, but unusually massive minka(2) stood there, in all its imposing grandeur, that simply did not seem to end as it stretched out into the horizon and beyond, snow falling all around it. But it looked decent, despite the eerie chill it instilled in a person upon looking at it too long...
The more Ichigo stared, however, the more he had a sense of intrigue tickle him, and not fear. Which couldn't be said for Yumichika, who was shaking like a leaf but vehemently blamed it on the cold, and Ikkaku, who only agreed to be here after fully downing five bottles of sake. Great thing they'd gotten here by cab - since the only one with a driving license was Ikkaku. And as fearless and utterly uncaring as he was about non-existent ghosts and that bullocks, Ichigo genuinely didn't want to become one of them - who would? ...Not this young anyways.
Inhaling the clear, chilly air, Ichigo eyed his friends, currently standing a good distance away: "You're not coming with?"
"Why? Scared? Already?" taunted Ikkaku with a wide grin, oblivious to his own jittery knees, given how not sober he was at the moment, causing Ichigo to stare blankly, before he sighed.
"So stupid. The hell you'll be getting your proof of me being scared like you want me to be?"
"Take this," interjected Yumichika, thrusting a walkie-talkie towards Ichigo, before giving the latter a firm look "Do not turn it off at any point. We'll pull an all-nighter and be listening in. Just, in case, you know, there is something there."
Yumichika looked troubled out of their mind. Ichigo smiled softly at that. Such a mother hen. Nice to know one of them was worried for him. He could not say the same for Ikkaku though. Then again, the latter was drunk out of his mind, so...
"You so much as scream, Kurosaki, you freaking lose. Heh. Loser, you'll be a bloody loser."
On second thought, screw Ikkaku.
Shaking his head affectionately at his two friends, he then adjusted his backpack and grinned: "Kay then, so, see you guys tomorrow."
Yumichika came in for a hug, before they and Ikkaku waved Ichigo off as the latter carefully - and pretty sure, illegally - made his way up the path, before he found - broke - his way inside.
His friends stayed there for a minute or two, warily, worriedly, listening in case Ichigo opted out, or ran out like all hell broke loose. But it was so very quiet. Too quiet. Menacingly quiet. They both shivered, before they glanced at each other, concerned.
"...What if there won't be a tomorrow for him? What if this is our last time ever seeing him?" fretted Yumichika, pretty eyes wide, half-tempted to dash after Ichigo and drag him back out, if they weren't genuinely terrified of going near the place.
"Nah, Yumi, don't do me like that, please," shuddered Ikkaku, already walking away fast, heading towards the hotel they had booked in for tonight, to not be too far away from Ichigo "Let's just go. This damn house is freaking me out."
Biting their lip, Yumichika was about to follow but instead, pulled up their own walkie-talkie: "Ichigo? Hello? Hello, Ichigo? You can hear us, right?"
They then joined Ikkaku but waited, with bated breath, as only static was played back to them.
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"Hello? You can hear me, right?"
"Yep. Loud and clear," replied Ichigo as he dusted his clothes after just about breaking and entering the abandoned place, before looking around with a fairly stunned and curious gaze, all while idly keeping the conversation going "On your way back to the hotel?"
The other didn't reply to that, instead throwing question upon question: "How's everything? You're doing okay? Are you afraid? Want to leave yet?"
"Yes, Mother, everything's fine," teased Ichigo as he rolled his eyes and laughed "Can't fret over me forever, you know? I'm a grown man now, and you'll have to just let me go one day. Sad as that is, I know, I know."
Surprisingly however, rather than react to that either with mirth or frustration, the other asked yet another question: "So, what's it like? Over there?"
"Real ancient. And really abandoned," observed Ichigo as he spotted debris and rotted wood, his remark making the other snort audibly in quite the atypical fashion - rather inelegantly "Hey, you asked. And we both know I ain't the best at descriptions, screw you."
"You're not my type, but thank you, I'm flattered."
That, had Ichigo falter in his step, eyeing the walkie-talkie with an expression of confusion. Yumichika wouldn't make a joke like that. No way. Not the Yumi he knew. Absolutely not. Fully Ace as they were? Wait. ...Was he even talking to them right now?
"I wasn't-" began Ichigo, before he then cut himself off as he saw something in the distance "Oh wow."
"What? What is it?"
Ichigo blinked, not too sure: "I think I just saw something phase through the wall. Just now."
There was a wave of silence, before the other burst out at the top of their lungs: "Excuse me, but WHY THE HELL, ARE YOU ALL COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED ABOUT THAT?!"
Again, he was taken aback even double-checking to make sure the walkie-talkie was working. It was. So why the hell did he have the impression the device had crossed dimensions, leading him to speak with another Yumi? Or, maybe even another person...talking with Yumi's voice.
"Because I am cool, calm and collected – most of the time. It is part of my brand, you know," eventually drawled out Ichigo lightly, opting to test out something a little insane, even for him "I mean, the heck is there to be afraid of, right? Ghosts don't fuckin' exist, after all."
The quiet that echoed loudly then was deafening, with only the gentle crackle of the device in his hand wavering to and fro, before a rather deep and dauntingly low voice spoke up slow, one Ichigo could definitely confirm was not Yumichika, at all.
"Ho? So, you think this is a joke, do you."
All of a sudden, with a little, barely noticeable spark, the walkie-talkie died out. Just like that. Try as Ichigo might to get it working again. But nope. Dead and gone.
"Hello? Hello? Oh well, there goes the walkie-talkie, I guess," shrugged Ichigo as he dropped the device to the floor, before sighing and readjusting his bag a bit "Time to find me a room."
Little did he know yet, several eyes, some curious, some furious, some incredulous, from their place, deep within the shadows, watched him, very closely, as he pranced about their domain. How dare this human do so. How dare he.
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Finally settling in one of the many rooms, after saying to hell with it and going eenie meenie miney mo, Ichigo dusted and cleaned up a bit as best he could, then laid out his stuff for the night - a sleeping bag, a warm blanket, a torch, a packed bento, his phone and its power-bank. He had considered bringing more, but it was only one night. It wasn't like he was moving in, right?
Sighing, he then found himself pondering over the weird occurrences that had taken place, ever since he had set foot here.
First, the walkie-talkie - he was pretty sure that he had not been talking to Yumichika. At all. And then, whatever, whoever he had seen walk right through the wall. He barely got to see it more than a couple of seconds, but he could have sworn that the shadowy figure was male, with bat-like wings and outsized horns on its head, but Ichigo couldn't be fully certain or sure.
Getting up and leaving the room to access the adjoined bathroom, Ichigo washed his face up, brushed his teeth and combed his hair, before he stared up absent-mindedly at his reflection, then glared at himself: "Pathetic, aren't you."
A loud noise resounded behind him, leading him to swirl around, only to find the door closed. It had been slammed shut. Arching an eyebrow, Ichigo walked over and tried the door handle. Yet, it would not budge. No matter how he tugged or rattled it.
But then, an awfully thunderous bang, coming right from the bedroom he had just been in, shook the walls, before a screeching sibilant sound whistled right through the air, to and fro, followed by cracking and breaking wood.
It went and lasted it for a very long time, before everything suddenly fell completely silent. And the bathroom door swung back open, by itself.
Ichigo tentatively peeked his head out, to glance around the room. And how damaged it was. Well, more than it had been. The floor was in tatters and the walls had words sliced into them. GET OUT. LEAVE. YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE. GET OUT. GET OUT. LEAVE. LEAVE.
Ichigo blinked, before sighing and moving forth to pick up his stuff, and then uttering aloud: "Guess I need to find another room."
All of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere, a black cat jumped down from the cracked ceiling, and bounded over to where he was seated, before staring at him with its large, golden eyes. Ichigo stared on straight back, unblinkingly - although he probably should be blinking a little, 'cause last he checked, felines and cats viewed an unblinking gaze as a threat, didn't they(3)?
Before he could think about it any further however, the cat went up and snatched his blanket, before darting away at full speed, like a black bullet swerving across the ruined floorboards, with a large blue waving flag of pure cotton trailing behind it.
"HEY!" bellowed Ichigo at the top of his voice, as he jumped to his feet and dashed after it. And then began a wild goose chase around the huge minka - up and down, and down and up the stairs and halls alike, in and out, and out and in of a wide array of rooms.
The cat was like lightening, incredibly and awfully fast, and Ichigo, fairly athletic as he was, was having trouble keeping up, running out of breath now.
And clearly missing his footing too apparently, because his very next step led him to fall right through the rotted floors, earning a yelp from him as he tumbled down with dust and debris. As the mess settled and the initial shock had subsided, Ichigo was relatively glad to find that he hadn't sustained any injuries, nor did he have any broken bones of any kind. Good, good...
He glanced up to find the cat peering down at him from above, his blanket caught strongly in its jaws as its golden eyes glinted with mischief, before it turned its nose up and walked away. Ichigo huffed a breath. Well, this was fairly annoying for him, wasn't it? And...where was he?
"Play with me."
Startled a slight by the childish voice, Ichigo snapped his head around only to find an amass of soft toys, plushies, teddy bears and dolls, all mounted up in a somewhat make-shift throne. But after he looked long enough, he saw that, seated upon it in was a young teenage girl, with magenta pigtails for hair and an eerie, eyeless gaze, staring him down, her head tilted a slight as she repeated herself, voice crystal clear yet also faintly faded and distant: "Play...With me."
There was a level of finality to her tone, as though failing to comply with her demand would result in something quite dire. Utterly unfazed however, Ichigo calmly got up and headed over to her throne of toys, before he crouched down upon the heels of his feet and looked up at her: "What would you like to play?"
Stunned, the girl gawked at him, jaw dropping a smidgeon as she struggled to say something: "You- You'd play with...someone like me?"
"For sure, yeah. Why not?"
"You aren't afraid of me," concluded the young girl, regarding Ichigo with a hint of wonder.
"Should I be?"
"Everyone else is."
"I'm not like everyone else, really," muttered Ichigo soberly, scratching the back of his head, a deep frown to his brow, gaze growing distant.
Seeing the way his features darkened a tad, the girl hopped down from her throne, gracefully floating till she dropped down in front of him and peered into his face: "You're really pretty."
That brought Ichigo out of his little, bitter, ugly musings with a laugh, eyes wide: "Thanks! I'd say the same, but I don't wanna be a creep – you look rather young."
Rather than be slighted, the young girl appeared to be utterly delighted: "I am! You can tell? Aw, thank you! Say, do you still want to play?"
"Sure," grinned Ichigo, leading her to beam bright, before proceeding to beckon him towards her mountain of toys upon toys, fidgeting about high above ground, with childlike excitement.
As he got up to join her, he sneezed pretty loudly, a series of shivers running down his spine, leading her to glance at him: "Bless you."
"Thanks," sniffed Ichigo, shivering still "Wish I had my blanket - didn't think I'd be as cold."
"Did you lose it?"
"Uh, sort of?" he trailed off, before he shrugged easily, like nothing that had happened since he had set foot here was insane at all, and that he wasn't currently talking some ghost girl "There's this black cat that kinda nicked it from the room I was in-"
"Oh. Yoruichi-san," nodded the girl solemnly, clearly a lot less oblivious than him "Oh yes, they do like to play too."
"Ya called?"
Quicker than a whiplash, Ichigo looked around to witness the cat, golden eyes glinting and tail twitching, unflappably perched up on the fallen debris from the floor he had dropped through. But that was not what made him react the way he did.
"...Your voice," pointed out Ichigo "You were the one speaking to me over the walkie-talkie. Oh, by the way, can I have my blanket back - I'm getting cold."
As if the cat had human features, Ichigo caught onto the frustration and astonishment on its face: "You know something, kid? The fact that you're all SO nonchalant about everything, freaks me the heck out, are you for real? Ulquiorra has been phasing through walls ALL over this damn house. Kenpachi even went and wrecked where you were, hello? Be afraid already, Mr Ghosts-Dont-Fuckin-Exist."
"No, thanks. Not into that," deadpanned Ichigo, causing the girl to giggle while the cat sighed.
"Bruv, I didn't ask for your kinks."
"Yoruichi-saaaaaan," called out the girl, as she hugged one of her plushies and pouted sweetly "Play with us?"
"Love to, Riruka sugsar," uttered the cat gently with soft eyes, before glancing Ichigo's way "But that prissy prince is a bit - a lot - mad right now, so, um... Uh, fearless child, or whatnot? If you could vamoose the fuck out of here, that'd be real grand of you, okay?"
But rather than agree, Ichigo simply shook his head firmly, again, totally unperturbed by what was taking place here, and that might as well just be a fever dream: "Yeah, no, can't do that. But I'll leave tomorrow first thing in the morning, can promise that though."
"Now, would be LOADS better," countered the cat, its tail twitching with absolute annoyance.
"Can't though, I'm here on a dare."
"SCREW dares, kid! Not everyone here will be lenient with ya, so LEAVE. RIGHT NOW."
"No, thank you," stubbornly refused Ichigo with a wide grin which made Riruka giggle softly.
The cat called Yoruichi however, was not as amused: "I'll scratch your fucking face off, kid."
"That's assault," commented Riruka in a hushed voice at Ichigo, who nodded in agreement, but again, remained utterly blasé about it all.
"What's assault now?"
Looking up, he found himself drowning in the bluest eyes he had ever seen, and his mouth fell dry fast, heart beating wild. Oh wow. A rather wide Cheshire grin, of pearly white teeth and fangs, upon handsomely tanned features, greeted him from above: "Why, hullo there, pretty boy. Like your eyes."
"Um, thank you, I guess?" replied Ichigo slowly, carefully, as he finally faltered ever since he had gotten here, unsure how to compute what he was feeling at the moment. Was he seriously crushing on some ghost? A very, oh-so smoking hot ghost, mind you. ...Was he being weird?
As Ichigo struggled with an inner conflict of spiralling emotions, the ghost above him reached down, dim-hued feline-like claws for hands, a near shy away from cupping the human's face, before the blue-eyed, and blue-haired, ghost grinned eerily: "Give them to me?"
It took a moment for Ichigo to comprehend, then realize, the other was talking about his eyes.
"Uhhhhhh, how about no?"
The other's grin grew wider: "Aw, come now, don't be coy. I'll take real good care of them."
Somewhere at the back of his mind, Ichigo clearly registered the other was not a threat at all. So why was he asking for his eyes? Wait a minute. Eyes. In symbolism, didn't they mean-? Oh. (4)
Ichigo rapidly flushed an unhealthy shade of deep red: "Are you...flirting with me right now?"
A stunned look crossed the blue-eyed ghost's features, but then he was all grins again, looking elated, excited now: "Oh, you're fuckin' clever. Fuck, I really like you. Be mine, pretty boy."
"He is NOT staying here a second longer," boomed a voice before Ichigo could say anything, leading everyone to turn and look up towards a figure, floating high in the air above them all.
Ichigo immediately recognized this ghost as some sort of authority - if the floating up high in the sky was not arrogantly proving so already.
With a silver crown of thorns upon a beautifully long mane of shiny, black hair, he radiated elegance, nobility, from his entire attire to his presence, as well as in the shift of atmosphere when he had appeared. It felt thicker, so much heavier... Almost deadly.
"You. Human bumpkin," declared aloud the newly-arrived ghost as he pointed right at Ichigo, a glare in his eyeless gaze "Get. OUT. Of here. RIGHT THIS INSTANT."
Completely ignoring the crowned ghost in favour of locking gazes with the blue-eyed ghost, Ichigo murmured in a conspiracy-like fashion: "Uh, I have no clue what bumpkin is, but ouch, I guess?"
The blue-eyed ghost smirked at Ichigo, before throwing a glare up towards the floaty ghost: "Kindly fuck off, prince."
"Tsk, as vulgar as ever," sneered the other, eyes narrowed "My home, my rules, Grimmjow. You know this. ALL of you know this. You are meant to scare every Human away from here. Not...patronize with them."
"Yeah, no, kid doesn't get scared," shared Yoruichi jadedly, currently curled up comfortably upon Riruka's lap and looking just about fed up with entire situation.
That had the crowned ghost stare down at Ichigo, an elegant eyebrow arching up rather high: "Is that so?"
An aggressive, loud gust of wind came out of nowhere, violently shaking the walls, cracking the floorboards, and sending debris up in the spiralling air current, making Ichigo, inhaling, quickly raise his hands up to cover and protect his face. Since when did wind blow in-doors?
It took a moment before it eventually all died down a little, leading Ichigo lowered his hands. Only to find the glaring ghost just a shy away from his own face, before the crowned spectre firmly grabbed Ichigo's face: "What if I end your life? Will that instil fear within you then?"
Ichigo's features fell blank, eyes wide before the threatening ghost in front of him, and then gasped: "Are you for real? I mean... Well, I'd rather not be to be honest, but my life is pretty boring anyways, so if I kinda get to move in here with ya'll... Sure thing, yeah. Let's do this."
A short moment of stunned silence fell upon them all, before Grimmjow roared with laughter while the crowned ghost recoiled, looking utterly flabbergasted: "...He is downright insane."
"Yup, he sure is," crooned Grimmjow with immense pride, before he languidly licked his lips "Fuck, I really like him."
"Of course you would, horny bastard," sighed Yoruichi as they curled up around Grimmjow's neck and shoulders, since Riruka had floated up to Ichigo, peering up at him with large eyes.
"Wait, do you-? Do you really want to stay here?"
"Why not? Haven't played yet - I did promise," grinned Ichigo, before chuckling warmly as she squealed and cuddled him, with all her ghost might.
She then made the purest, cutest puppy eyes towards the still flabbergasted and dumbfounded crowned ghost: "Can we keep him - alive if possible, Byakuya-sama - pretty please? Please?"
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"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, wait. Wait. Hold up. Hold the BLOODY phone, ya're doing WHAT?!"
Yumichika was gaping wide-eyed at Ichigo with a horrified expression, staring at the latter as if their dearest friend had grown three new heads, or had outright gone bloody bonkers mad. Ikkaku didn't know what to say. Hirako was oddly silent. Even Sado looked a little perturbed.
"Yeah, I'll be moving into that house," repeated Ichigo evenly, earning a couple of shudders from his friends, with Ikkaku letting out a nervous chuckle.
"...You're crazy, Kurosaki."
"Heard that before, yep, yep," brushed off Ichigo casually, before he got a hold of his suitcase and strolled off, waving at his friends "Well, gotta go now, see you around. I need to get the lease to my new house and all. Thanks SO much for partaking in the payment, Yumi, Ikkaku - what with me winning our lil' bet and that. Feel free to pass by, okay?"
They gawked at their retreating friend, before all four of them stared at each other, wide-eyed and awfully worried. What the-? What the absolute hell?! Was Ichigo alright in his mind? Had he gotten possessed or something? Should they be concerned? Call a freaking exorcist?!
"What the HECK?!" exploded Ikkaku, all-too uneasy by the whole situation that didn't seem to disturb their friend at all "Why isn't Ichigo AFRAID?! Can't those ghosts fucking ghost?!"
"...What did you just say?"
All of them swirled around, gazes gone wide and startled straight out of their skins. And then, they all stopped breathing in one go. Behind them was a lean, tall shadowy figure of darkness, with big, hefty horns on its head and large bat-wings, eerie green eyes looking down on them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Screaming at the top of their lungs in terror, the four friends ran away at full speed, not once looking back. And thus totally, missing out on the smug look that crossed the ghost's features.
"That's what I thought. Still got it."
The End.
(1) Naruki City is where Asano Keigo is, since I very much recall looking this up for another fic and if I remember correctly, Keigo is the only one who doesn't live within Karakura City.
(2) A minka would be the name given to very old, but traditional-styled, houses within Japan - I'd suggest giving them a look, they're really pretty (personal opinion, really, I'm biased lol).
(3) Yep, a real a thing - I love watching documentaries about animals, so I get to know stuff.
(4) Subtle hint here at my favourite expression of all-time: Eyes are the window to the soul.
A/N: You'd think I was high while writing this, and to you thinking that, I'd say, you're right. Kind of. I was on meds during half of the process of writing this, so yes, this is utter insanity, and you're right to think it. I was trying to be funny - my humour's bloody broken, ain't it XP
Anyways, thank you SO much for giving this fic a moment of your time, genuinely hope you enjoyed it – I really tried here, I'm so sorry... Till next time, take care and be safe! Bella Ciao!