Ralph Wrecks the Internet - Ralph and Vanellope Play "LEGO Dimensions" (But Inside The Game)

Opening

Vanellope: Come on, Ralph! Let's check out this game!

Ralph: Yeah!

Unknown dimension

X-PO: Hey, I found the thing! Uh. I mean. "Anomaly located, master."

Lord Vortech: Yes... I've found it!

X-PO: Uh... you found it?

Lord Vortech: After all these years of searching, it really exists… Foundation Prime. This depicts the Foundation Elements - artefacts from the start of time, scattered across the dimensions. And only I can gather them all in one place.

X-PO: Just so you know… the Foundation Elements are the cornerstones of time and space. So they're… Kinda important. To the… Entire universe.

Lord Vortech: Your services are no longer required.

X-PO: But the elements can't be safely harnessed - it's too dangerous! And what about that pay raise you promised meeeee…?!

Lord Vortech: I will have them all. I will control their power. I will make universes collide! Aargh- No! I will not be denied perfection! My dedication to this work has taken its toll. Not for much longer can I freely pass between dimensions… But, there is another way. (Laughs)

DC universe

Robin: Hey! No littering. What does Bane want with all this Kryptonite, Batman?

Batman: What everyone wants with Kryptonite, to take down Superman. But not today. Cut him off at the bridge - we'll have him cornered.

Robin: Okay, Batman. Whoa!

Bane: Oh. And we were having such a nice chase.

Batman: Robin?

The Lord of the Rings universe

Gandalf: You shall not pass! Aaaaarrrrrr!

Frodo: Gandalf!

Gandalf: Fly you, fools.

Frodo: Nooo!

Batman: Where's Robin?

Gandalf: What? Behind you!

Batman: I said, where's Robin?

Gandalf: My dear fellow, I have no idea what you are talking about. Have you tried looking in a tree?

Batman: Not a Robin - Robin. He got sucked into a weird hole in Gotham. I jumped in and it led me to you!

Gandalf: And you are?

Batman: I'm Batman.

Gandalf: My thanks.

Frodo: Gandalf!

Gandalf: Frodo! The Ring! Frodo has the One Ring - it cannot fall into the enemy's hands! Quickly, fly!

Batman: I'm not an actual bat, Gandalf!

Samwise Gamgee: I s'pose we'll just wait for them, then.

The LEGO Movie universe

MetalBeard: Arr! It be Wyldstyle who jigged the best-

Unikitty: This dance-off was FIXED! I mean "Well done, Wyldstyle."

Wyldstyle: Yes! I mean, y'know, whatever. Ngh! Hey, wait, that's mine!

MetalBeard: Whoa! Wyldstyle! What, wh- WHOAAAAA! Arr! It be a kraken, I know it.

Emmet: What the- Where'd MetalBeard go?!

Batman: Agh!

Batman (The LEGO Movie): Oof!

Wyldstyle: Batman?! Gandalf! Batman?!

Batman (The LEGO Movie): Ow - you landed on my back, man.

Batman: I'm Batman.

Batman (The LEGO Movie): No, I didn't say... Hey, I'm Batman!

Batman: I'm Batman!

Batman (The LEGO Movie): I'M Batman!

Batman: I'm Batman.

Batman (The LEGO Movie): I'm BATMAN!

Gandalf: Oh, twins. I wonder if one of them is evil?

Unikitty: Where did you come from? And why are there two Bat… mans? Bat… men? Bat… mens?

Batman: There aren't. There's only one Batman... ...I don't know who the stiff is.

Batman (The LEGO Movie): Hey!

Gandalf: Well, this is all wonderful, but I don't suppose you saw a young Halfling pass this way?

Emmet: What's a Halfling?

Wyldstyle: The only thing we saw was our friend MetalBeard getting dragged into a strange vortex.

Batman: I think it was some kind of dimensional rift... Where is it?

Emmet: It disappeared after it took him.

Wyldstyle: So you didn't cause all that?

Gandalf: Might I suggest that we set out on a quest to find this, er, "rift" you say?

Unikitty: A quest?! Let me go pack some rainbow colored LEGO bricks!

Emmet: ANd I'll get my wrench!

Gandalf: We shall be the Fellowship of the- Aaaaarrrrr!

Wyldstyle: Aaaaarrrrr!

Batman (The LEGO Movie): "Fellowship of the Aar?!" That's a terrible name!

Emmet: Aw! They left without the whole gang!

Unikitty: Gang, shmang! They left without *me*! Rargh!

Batman (The LEGO Movie): That guy wasn't anything special. Ngh... Hup! Oof! Dang it!

Emmet: (Laughing)

Strange vortex

Gandalf: We are at this strange beast's mercy and I do not trust where it is leading us, we must get out!

Batman: Agreed. I need your scanner. If I can locate whatever's generating this rift… …Then I can disrupt it.

Gandalf: Does that mean it worked?

Vorton

Vanellope: Man. It's so dark in here, I can hardly see a thing.

Ralph: Yeah, I can't find a light switch either.

Vanellope: Oh, wait! I have an idea.

Ralph: Oh, yeah. Good thinking, kid.

Vanellope: Thanks. Huh? Hey, Ralph, look. There's a little light over there.

Ralph: Huh? What is this?

Vanellope: Some kind of... gateway, maybe? Hey, it looks a little bit like the gateway in the Wi-fi Router.

Ralph: Yeah, it does a little bit. Uh... kid? Why do you feel so weird all of the sudden?

Vanellope: What are you talking about? Oh, boy. Same with you, why do you feel so weird all of the sudden? Ah!

Ralph: Ah!

Vanellope: What the... what happened to us?

Ralph: Our bodies have changed!

Vanellope: What? [gasps] Ralph, wait! Maybe this is a good thing, when I watched "The LEGO Movie" and "The LEGO Batman Movie", the characters were made out of LEGO. This must be a LEGO game, so when we came into this game, I think we've become... LEGO characters. So, I think we're okay.

Ralph: What, really? Oh, yeah. I see now.

Vanellope: Whoa! How sweet is that?

Ralph: Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Vanellope: Cool! Even my BuzzzyPhone is made out of LEGO! Huh?

Ralph: Huh?

Vanellope: What is that?

Ralph: Huh. Looks like some kind of vortex. Luckily, it's not sucking us into it.

Vanellope: Yeah. [gasps] Something's coming, I can feel it coming from the vortex, let's hide.

Ralph: Yeah, okay.

Wyldstyle: Well, I don't quite know what you did, but we're still alive.

Vanellope: Is that Wyldstyle from "The LEGO Movie?"

Gandalf: Are you sure?

Ralph: Gandalf?

Vanellope: He was in "The LEGO Movie" too. Also, he was in the movies "The Lord of the Rings," the Disney Princesses told me about him because they've heard of him on the entire internet because he's a really famous character from those movies.

Batman: This technology looks advanced...

Vanellope: Whoa. And Batman from "The LEGO Movie" and "The LEGO Batman Movie." Awesome.

Batman: My guess? That gateway created the rift that brought us here.

Gandalf: Which gateway?

Batman: The one that exploded.

Vanellope: Hey, Batman, Gandalf, Wyldstyle! Ha! I never thought I'd meet you guys for real!

Wyldstyle: Whoa! Wait, you know us?

Vanellope: Yeah, I've seen the movies of you guys, what you were in. Except the movie of you, Gandalf, but you were in "The LEGO Movie," And my friends, the Disney Princesses told me about you because they've heard of you, because you're a really famous character from "The Lord of the Rings" movies.

Gandalf: Oh.

Wyldstyle: And you two are...?

Vanellope: Oh, yeah. I'm Vanellope Von Schweetz, this is my best friend, Ralph here. People call him Wreck-it Ralph because he's the bad guy of his own video game.

Batman: Bad guy? That's it, he's going down!

Vanellope: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's okay. He's supposed to be the bad guy in his own video game, that's his job. He's programmed to be like that, but he's a good friend to me. And after the arcade closes, me and Ralph hang out.

Ralph: Yeah.

Batman: Okay, I get it.

Wyldstyle: I'm sorry, I'm confused a bit, did you say "Arcade?"

Vanellope: Yeah, we're video game characters. I'm from the Sugar Rush racing game.

Ralph: Yeah, we come from Game Central Station, which is located in the power strip. It resembles a gigantic underground subway station on the interior, but on the exterior, it is the power strip for most of the consoles in Litwak's Family Fun Center and Arcade.

Wyldstyle: I can only understand about half of that, but it sounds pretty cool.

Vanellope: That's okay.

Gandalf: Nice to meet you, young one.

Wyldstyle: So, what brings you two here?

Vanellope: Oh, me and Ralph are just game exploring on the Internet, checking out lots of fun and cool games, like this one.

Wyldstyle: The Internet? You're in the Internet, and you came here through the Internet?

Ralph: Yeah, there's a whole world of the Internet out there. We came from the arcade using the inside of a Wi-fi router that Mr. Litwak plugged in about 6 months ago, and that takes us to the Internet.

Wyldstyle: Wow. I have heard of Wi-fi routers, and the Internet and stuff, but... seems really impressive about the Internet world.

Vanellope: Yeah, pretty cool, huh?

Wyldstyle: Awesome.

Ralph: So, uh... what happened to you guys, how does the... game go?

Wyldstyle: The thing is, some weird dimensional vortexes have been opening between our worlds and dragging our friends into them. For example, MetalBeard got dragged into one of those vortexes.

Vanellope: MetalBeard?

Wyldstyle: Yep. He's somewhere, we just don't know where.

Batman: My friend, Robin got sucked into a vortex in my world too and separated from me.

Vanellope: Robin's your friend? I thought he was your son, you adopted him, didn't you, in "The LEGO Batman Movie?" And why do you sound a bit different?

Batman: What? I don't recall any of that, and I'm not from this "LEGO Batman Movie." And my voice has always been like this.

Vanellope: Huh. That's really odd.

Ralph: Maybe this is a different Batman to the one you've seen, kid.

Wyldstyle: Yeah, this is a different Batman to the one you've seen, Vanellope. But back in my world, there is the Batman you know.

Vanellope: Whoa, cool!

Wyldstyle: But I'm sure this Batman will still be cool as the one you know.

Vanellope: Yeah, I reckon this one will be much cooler.

Gandalf: My friend, Frodo has gotten separated from me as well.

Vanellope: Frodo? Who's that?

Gandalf: A young lad who I know, I've grown very fond of him.

Vanellope: I bet he's really nice.

Batman: Alright, I think we should start rebuilding the gateway.

Vanellope: Hey, would you guys like some help?

Wyldstyle: Yes, please, we could use some from you guys.

Gandalf: We just need to find the right pieces.

Vanellope: Got it.

Ralph: Right.

Gandalf: I SHALL pass… this over to someone else.

Wyldstyle: [grunting]

Vanellope: Whoa! Cool acrobatics, Wyldstyle.

Wyldstyle: Thanks.

Vanellope: Hey, watch this. [glitching]

Wyldstyle: Whoa! What, was that? You were, like... covered in pixels.

Vanellope: That was my superpower, my glitch.

Wyldstyle: Glitch, your superpower? Wait, I thought glitches were like code errors, and they kinda crash computers and games and stuff.

Vanellope: Yeah, some glitches can be like that but my glitch is totally safe, so it's okay.

Wyldstyle: Okay, one question though, how do you glitch just like that? That's the first time I've ever seen a person like you glitch like that before.

Vanellope: The thing is, I used to be a glitch, I was turned into one. It's a long story. You know I just told you that I live in the Sugar Rush racing game in Litwak's Arcade, yeah? Well, it's a candy go-kart racing game, and inside the whole console is a whole candyland world, full of sweets, candy, sugar, chocolate, and all that candy you can ever think of and imagine, it's got a sweet big racing track. But when we first got plugged in, this crazy hacking racer from another classic racing game named Turbo hacked into the code room of the game, which is the source code, where all the codes are. And he went for my code, he tried to delete me, he tried to delete my code, but instead, he just pulled off the wires of it, and that turned me into a glitch. And he also locked up our memories, and that made the other Sugar Rush racers turn against me, they bullied me and they were trying to stop me from racing with them. They thought because I was a glitch that I might crash the game, and it would get unplugged, and I couldn't leave the game either. Turbo just took over the whole game for himself, for his own selfish purposes, and he disguised himself as King Candy. I was an outcast my whole life, for fifteen years, and I would be stuck in there, probably forever if it hadn't been for Ralph.

Wyldstyle: How did you and Ralph meet?

Vanellope: He happened to be bored and tired of living alone in the garbage in his own video game, he had no friends either.

Wyldstyle: You said he's the bad guy of his game, right?

Vanellope: Yeah, when Felix, known as Fix-it Felix Jr. named after the game, Fix-it Felix Jr. won a medal every time he fixed the Niceland building with his magic hammer what he got from his father, Ralph was always upset that he never got one. And the people, known as the Nicelanders, always chucked the bad boy off the building, and then he landed in a giant puddle of mud at the bottom of the building. And then when the Arcade closes, the people all head to their home and Ralph goes to his. He was being treated like a real bad guy, even outside of gameplay, and that's when he set out to find a medal, but he kinda did it at the wrong time and it nearly got his game unplugged. So Felix started looking for him, Ralph got a medal from another game called Hero's Duty, and then he crashed-landed into my game, and then his medal ended up at the top of a candy cane tree. He started climbing up there, and then that's when we met. We didn't really like each other from the start, I was kind of annoying to him and I used his medal to enter the Random Roster Race. We both made a deal that if I won the race, I would give him back his medal. We first had to go to the bakery to make me a new kart because the other racers destroyed my old homemade Likkity Split kart, and we both worked hard to mix, bake and decorate it, and there it was, my first built real kart that me and Ralph ever made together. It was a little bit messy, but I loved it. Ralph started liking me then, and he taught me how to drive because I didn't know how to drive a real kart at first, probably because of Turbo locking up all our memories, probably causing me to forget how to drive a real kart. *chuckles* And he believed in me when nobody else did. He felt really sorry for me that I was being treated badly, and then he realised that he didn't need a medal to tell him that he was a good guy, and that he still has to do his job as the bad guy of his game, he can still have friends like me. And I made him this candy medal, to show him that he was my big goofy hero. And he also found out that I was supposed to be part of the game, he found out about what Turbo had done to my code, and if I cross the finish line in the Random Roster Race, the game would reset and I wouldn't be a glitch anymore. And that's what I did. And then, when a bunch of Cy-bugs came out of nowhere and attacked my game, Ralph's other friends Felix and Calhoun came to fight them. What are Cy-bugs, you ask? Cy-bugs are like a virus, they don't really know they're in a game, all they know is eat, kill and multiply and they'll invade any game if any of them get out of Hero's Duty, Calhoun from her game Hero's Duty told me all about them. Ralph saved me from getting eaten by them and my whole game, by making a beacon out of Diet Cola Mountain in Sugar Rush, punching the mentos from the top of the mountain into the hot springs-lava, he almost died and sacrificed himself for me, falling into the hot springs-lava but luckily I glitched and drove fast enough in time to save him. He saved my life and my whole game, so it was my turn to return the favour.

Wyldstyle: What happened to Turbo?

Vanellope: We all teamed up, Ralph, me, Felix and Calhoun, and we kicked his big stinky manipulative butt! Pretty sweet, huh?

Wyldstyle: But how did you do it though?

Ralph: Turbo was a Cy-bug, when I made the beacon out of Diet Cola Mountain, he must've gotten attracted to the light as well.

Vanellope: I don't know how Turbo became a Cy-bug though.

Ralph: Do you remember that Cy-bugs become what they eat, kid? When the Cy-bugs invaded Sugar Rush, during the race, one of them must've eaten Turbo, and that's probably how he became one.

Vanellope: Maybe after I escaped from him from getting rammed into an incoming stalactite, during the race, in the tunnel, using my glitch, it must've happened then.

Ralph: Right.

Vanellope: Anyway, I crossed the finished line, then the game reset, and I was turned into a princess. And the other racers apologised for the way they treated me, I did kinda joke with them, they thought that I was gonna kill them as revenge for the way they treated me, but I know it wasn't really their fault. I know that it was all Turbo who brainwashed them into bullying me, I just wanted to see their faces, [giggles] I did accept their apology though.

Wyldstyle: Phew. Yeah, you kinda had me there too, just now.

Vanellope: [giggles] Anyway, I didn't really want to be a princess, 'cause if I was going to race, how am I going to fit that poofy pink nightmare of a dress into my kart? I won't, will I? 'Cause it's too big to fit into my kart, so I became the president instead.

Wyldstyle: How come you're still glitching then, like now.

Vanellope: I decided that since I had complete control over my glitch then, I decided to use it as my superpower, it turned out that the players loved my glitch, and I was able to leave my game whenever I wanted. And then when Ralph was about to head back to his game because the arcade was about to open, I gave him a hug, and I offered him a place in the castle in my game where no one will treat him like a real bad guy ever again, but he turned down my offer and he accepted his job as the bad guy in his game. He said he's already got everything that he always wanted, and I was glad that he became my friend, and I'm still glad that he's my best friend. And then we insulted each other goodbye, jokingly. [giggles]

Wyldstyle: *chuckles*

Vanellope: And so far, so good, We've both had better lives, the Nicelanders in his game treated him better than the last 30 years, and I've been a playable character, just l always wanted to be. Me and Ralph have changed things for the better for each other, and we've been best friends for 6 and a half years ever since we met. And we've done everything together, play games, have burgers and rootbears.

Wyldstyle: That's nice.

Vanellope: Yeah. And whenever I'm feeling down, he's there to comfort me and cheer me up.

Even when some nights, I have nightmares about Turbo coming back to haunt me again, and attempt to kill Ralph. I'm still worried that, one day, Turbo will come back and really haunt me to the death again. But Ralph kept telling me that Turbo is long gone, but… what if my nightmares are more than just bad dreams? What if I'm getting visions that Turbo will come back to haunt me? It's really scary to think, he first attempted to take over that old RoadBlasters racing game, but then he became such an evil monster.

Wyldstyle: Wow. I see you've been through a tough life there, kid.

Vanellope: Yeah. *sighs* I just wish none of that had happened at all, me, being a glitch, being trapped in my game, and being tormented and bullied by everyone in Sugar Rush all because of Turbo.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide... is what to do with the time that is given to you.

Vanellope: Whoa, yeah. I guess I never thought about it like that before, [chuckles] you are a very wise person, Gandalf. Thank you.

Ralph: Come here, kid. Alright. Okay, you're getting a little clingy on me here. Alright, shall we continue looking for the rest of the gateway pieces and rebuild the gateway?

Vanellope: Yeah, let's carry on helping out our friends here.

Gateway Keeper: Rerouting from back-up power. All systems are go. Limited system functionality restored.

Wyldstyle: "Limited system functionality"? Am I going to lose an arm if I go through that thing?

Batman: It does look unstable, I saw some glowing parts get sucked into it - they must have been important.

Vanellope: Does that mean if we don't quickly go through that thing and go wherever and find the gateway pieces and bring them back here, the gateway is going to explode again?

Batman: Probably.

Gandalf: Well, it seems to be... alive, at least.

Wyldstyle: My relic scanner's showing that there's definitely something through there.

Gandalf: Could it be leading us to the missing bricks?

Batman: Could be...

Wyldstyle: Or MetalBeard?

Batman: Couldn't be.

MetalBeard: Aaaaaar!

Wyldstyle: That's MetalBeard! He's in trouble! Or he's happy, he uses "Aar!" for a lot of things. Either way, we have to find him!

Vanellope: Batman, Gandalf and Wyldstyle, we're going with you! We'll help you find your friends, and find out what's going on between your worlds! And whoever is behind this, we'll help you stop him or her!

Wyldstyle: Great, we could use some company, welcome to the team.

Batman: Alright, let's go.

Vanellope: Cool! Come on, Ralph, let's follow 'em!

Ralph: Hey, wait for me! Kid, come back! Wait! Hey, don't leave without me! Vanellope!

Vanellope: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! WHOO!

Ralph: Kid!

Vanellope: Ralph, isn't this great?!

Ralph: No, it is not!

Vanellope: Whoo-hoo!

The Wizard of Oz World

Vanellope: Wow, wow, wow! That was so totally cool! Ha! I've never been through a dimensional rift before!

Ralph: Where are we now?

Batman: We are not in Gotham anymore.

Gandalf: I would have had a more pleasant journey on the back of that Balrog.

Batman: It's so... colorful.

Gandalf: Yes. It is rather pleasant.

Vanellope: Look at that cute little peacock, it's adorable.

Wyldstyle: I can't see MetalBeard.

Batman: Well, something's close. You're still tracking that signal. This way.