"My mom called today," Donna says one night as she cooks pasta in the kitchen. "I'm going to go to Wisconsin for Christmas this year."
Josh looks up at her from his memo. "Oh?"
"I just thought – I don't know. Things are going to get really busy very soon and I figured a Christmas in Madison would be nice before we're in office." There's a beat and she adds, "I didn't go last year."
He feels like this is some kind of relationship test but he's not sure what it is.
"Also, my younger brother is coming. He just got engaged. I haven't met his fiancée yet. And he hasn't been back in years. The last time he was there, I wasn't, and vice-versa. It's a vicious circle."
"Okay," he says slowly, watching her every move carefully as she continues to stir the sauce without looking at him.
"You're welcome to come," she says simply, tapping the spoon on the side of the pan momentarily. "But it's okay if you're too busy. I know Christmas isn't your holiday, anyway." He watches her for a moment as she once again continues to stir the sauce again and then she stops and turns to him, as if she's reading his mind (which, he's not surprised anymore if she is). "I'm serious, Josh. This is not a trap. If you've got a lot going on – stay. I'm okay with that. After all, I know you just took time off for Hawaii."
He studies her a moment more and he knows she's being genuine. He thinks this relationship has a prayer of working out not only because of the fact that he's decided to make an effort to make time for her, but also because she completely gets it if he can't always.
"Your parents are okay with me coming with you?" he asks, genuinely. This relationship is still new, he wonders if her parents really want the brand-new boyfriend tagging along to their family get together, especially if their daughter hasn't been home for Christmas in a while.
"My mom is the one who suggested it," she states, suddenly feeling a pang of hope that he might want to join her.
He hates the idea of her spending Christmas away from him, even though he doesn't celebrate Christmas. He hates the idea of her traveling without him, now that they've spent a vacation together. He hates the idea of being home without her even though he's lived alone his whole adult life and she's lived with him not even two months yet.
It's still transition and she's probably right that it's going to be harder to do anything in a few months. At least right now he won't get called into the sit room, that's still CJ's problem. He also knows the Santos family will be in Texas, soaking up their last holiday before he's sworn in (though their lives have already dramatically changed since last Christmas when Josh came barging in to their home, and they're already dragging Secret Service along with them). Sam will be back in California to be with his fiancée who hasn't made the move yet and tie up his loose ends, and Lou has been prattling on about some sort family drama she is clearly heading into for the holidays (Josh has to admit, he's not sure where).
"I'll come," he says and she raises her eyebrows, surprised at the speed of his decision.
Josh knows Donna's mom fairly well – their time in Germany together was an intense experience. Josh guesses that her mother had figured him (and his feelings) out back then. It's not every day that a boss flies to another country on a moment's notice to be by his assistant's side, sitting vigil at her bedside for days on end.
Her dad, however, is more of a mystery to him. He hasn't had the same interactions with him. When Donna had her accident, he himself had recently had a surgery and was unable to fly.
"Welcome, Josh!" Angela Moss says when they step inside the foyer, giving him a warm hug and saying how good it is to see him while Dave Moss shakes his hand. It feels good to see her again, as he remembers the last time that he saw her was in Germany with Donna still in a hospital bed. It's a much happier occasion, now. He imagines that she feels the same. "We're so happy to have you here. We'll let you two get settled," she says. She turns to Donna and says, "We set up your room."
Donna beams. "Great. Thanks, Mom," Donna says.
"We have a lot of family coming in," she turns to Donna, "all your brothers," she adds. "And the kids! So, we have to be efficient with space. We figured we'd break the no boys in Donna's room rule for the first time." She waggles her finger at them both in teasing and laughs. "So, no funny business!"
"Mom," Donna rolls her eyes. She turns to Josh, who looks stricken at the idea her mom would even think of them doing funny business. "She's joking. Come on, let's go upstairs."
She grabs his hand and pulls him towards the staircase, glancing a warning back at her mother.
He follows her up the stairs and looks at the photos lining the upstairs hallway. Lots of babies – unable to gather which Moss child is which, except for the one with a big bow on her head. He smiles at that because he can tell that it's Donna, could tell even without the bow because her facial expressions are still the same. There are family photos: Donna at a dance recital, her bothers in football uniforms, a family vacation shot, some family pets.
He's so distracted by the photos he almost misses it when she stops at a door and turns the knob to push it open.
"Here we are," she says and is waiting for him to make some kind of comment about her childhood room.
Instead, he looks around, suspiciously quiet which makes her weary. He's definitely processing the photos of the now grown teenage singers who were popular in her teenage days, the stuffed animals on the shelf (only the special few that held sentimental value that she could never give away), the photos of her and her friends as teenagers that were still stuck to the mirror, the random trinkets that say a lot about her personality as a teenager. But he says nothing.
It amazes him that they're here: in Madison, in her childhood bedroom, together. A year ago, they were still working together in the White House and she was still his assistant. A year ago, she was just about to quit her job but hadn't even done it yet. A year ago, they were still in their familiar routine of working together every day. Then they went for nearly a year without seeing each other or being able to talk to each other without a hint of resentment and now they're here. A year ago, he wouldn't have necessarily predicted this but oddly enough just a few months ago he would've said with even more certainty that this would never happen.
He looks at her now, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She doesn't have any makeup on (or, maybe mascara, he thinks?) and she's wearing an old sweatshirt and jeans. This woman amazes him. She's going to be chief of staff to the first lady in about a month and he couldn't be any prouder of her. She's sweet and kind and she does wear her heart on her sleeve but she's also determined and courageous. She drove from Wisconsin to New Hampshire all those years ago determined to make something of herself and a year ago she got up the courage to walk away from her job in order to do something more. Although he'd been broken up over it at the time because of his own personal issues, he has to admit it was a bold, brave move.
Suddenly he could imagine them coming here every year, he even has a flash of children in tow some years in the future. (Is this what it means to have a life?)
They've really only been together about two months and he knows. He knew it in Hawaii, honestly – he knew it the minute he asked her there. But right now, it feels more real than anything and it doesn't make him anxious and he'd honestly propose tomorrow if it wasn't insane.
"I love you so much," he says, and she blinks at him, confused since she has not followed the thought process in his mind which makes him love her even more.
"Not one comment about Donna Moss's childhood bedroom?" she asks with a tease, hands on her hips.
"Oh, we'll get to that," he says and she laughs.
Christmas Eve is a huge ordeal in the Moss family. They celebrate with her mother's side, the Italian traditions taking over. Her father has always gone along with the Italian culture his wife brought along, including most of the names of his children: only the oldest was named after him, with the rest having traditional Italian names. Donna tells Josh that he just asked for one to be named after him, her mother could give the others all the Italian names she wanted.
Donna gives Josh the trivia about it all, as she does everything she's informed on. "In Italy, Christmas Eve dinner is traditionally lighter with seafood and not a lot of meat. Of course, Italian-Americans have turned it into more of a feast. But we still eat seafood. Just, way too much of it."
"So much for keeping it light," Josh jokes and Donna laughs.
"Exactly. That's the Americanized part of it."
"I don't like seafood," her four-year-old niece Francesca pouts, listening to her conversation.
Donna runs a hand through her hair. "I'm pretty sure Grandma is making you chicken nuggets," she assures her and the girl grins in a way that Josh recognizes instantly is surprisingly Donna.
He meets her brother, Mateo and his fiancée, who arrive with a dish of smoked salmon crostini, which makes her sister-in-law Megan gasp in delight.
"Megan's a chronic dieter," Donna whispers conspiratorially to Josh. "But she throws it out the window every holiday. January 1st she'll be resolving to lose ten pounds, never mind she only gained two."
They eat, then they sit around talking while the kids are each allowed to open one gift, then they eat some more. After a lot of eating, the card games start. Various bottles of wine are opened and finished throughout the night. Josh has limited his alcohol intake considerably, watching himself and his first impression on Donna's family. She, however, is slightly tipsy in just the best way and keeps laughing and giggling and snuggling close, her entire being radiating contentment. After the kids go to bed, the card games start and go late into the night.
Her extended family come, too which includes her aunt and uncle that he met years ago in the White House come over for dinner – they remember him and he watches Dave Moss listen in seeming approval to the story of how he treated them in the White House (thank God he hadn't made Wisconsin jokes like he'd wanted to. Who knew then they'd be here now).
The cats that he'd put on the Supreme Court wander in and out of the mess, playing in the wrapping paper and running from the younger kids who try to grab them. Donna eventually leads them upstairs and puts them into her parents' room and out of the kids' reach when she feels like they've been antagonized a bit too much and Josh loves her for that, honestly.
When they lie in bed that night, Josh turns to Donna and states the fact that's surprised him all evening. "I didn't realize your family was really Italian."
Donna quirks an eyebrow. "You thought I lied about being Italian?"
"No. I thought it's something like, yeah, my ancestors are from Italy. Not you have a full-blown Italian Christmas Eve every year."
"My name is Donnatella," she reminds him.
"I'm aware," he grins. "It's sexy," he says with a smirk and she laughs but she feels her cheeks flush because she's always felt a little thrill when he calls her that.
"You know, my parents were very strict about my bedroom growing up. I couldn't have anyone up here – girls or boys – not even with the door open. I don't know if they were worried about sex or drugs or just plain old Midwestern mischievousness like we might prank call the supermarket or what." She crawls over him and kisses the space between his neck and his ear and she lets her tongue swirl around behind his ear. "This could be my first time in my bedroom."
"Donna," he chides with a gulp. "Your mom said no funny business."
"I swear, she was joking! It'll be fine," she assures him. "It's been days, Josh," she whines. "I want you so much."
"Your family will hear us," he insists, thinking about her brothers and their families in all of the other rooms up and down the hall, not to mention her parents' bedroom is not all that far away.
"I can be quiet," she tells him with a nip to his ear.
He huffs a laugh. "You're never quiet."
She smirks. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that you turn me on so much," she breathes into his ear. "You make me feel so good."
"Donnatella," he warns, his resolve crumbling.
She grins. "There it is," she teases him, showing her own appreciation for his use of her full name. "I can be quiet," she assures him as her hands slide down his chest. "It will be good practice for when we christen the White House."
"We are not christening the White House," Josh warns, the list of disastrous outcomes infinite.
"You've thought about it, though," she notes, as she pulls at the hem of his t-shirt. "The place where we used to be together all the time, hanging all over each other."
He doesn't even deny that. "Of course I've thought about it," he admits too easily and she gets a smug smile on her face. "But, that's not happening."
She ignores him. "I've never done it in the White House either," she whispers.
"You better not have," he retorts and she laughs.
"Have you?" she asks, slightly worried about the answer, thoughts of Amy popping into her head.
"No."
"Thank God," she murmurs, then returns to the task at hand. "Jo-osh," she pleads.
His resolve has crumbled because honestly will there ever be a time that he can turn down Donna? After all the years he had to pretend he didn't want her, he would be an idiot to turn her down now.
Christmas morning starts early.
Her oldest brother David (David Jr., but no one ever calls him that – he's David and her father is Dave so no one gets confused) and her sister-in-law Brenda have an eleven-year-old daughter who does not like to wake up (ever), and an seven-year-old who is just getting old enough that he's suspicious about Santa, so he's not in any hurry to get up. Donna knows he was up late last night trying to spy on Santa.
However, her second oldest brother, Antonio (Tony, for short), has a two-year-old and four-year-old twins who don't sleep in, ever.
Therefore, Christmas morning starts when the smallest kids wake up, Dave trying to distract them from ripping into the gifts long enough for all the adults (and children who actually sleep) to gather downstairs.
The kids tear into the presents from Santa while the adults watch, then as they fight over toys (and, for some reason, boxes and wrapping paper – eleven-year-old Olivia is trying to make a reading nook while four-year-old Ben wants to make a fort), the adults exchange gifts in a much more calm and relaxed manner.
When Angela goes to get everyone coffee, Brenda turns to Josh. "You know, in all the years David and I have been together I've never seen Donna bring anyone home for Christmas."
"Oh?" Josh quirks an eyebrow. This is news to him – he'd tried hard enough to stay out of Donna's personal life (or: stay ignorant to details he didn't want to know and sabotage what he did know if necessary).
"Well, of course, when David and I started dating she was with that jerk – I mean, I'm sure you never knew him but he was this jackass doctor who convinced her to drop out of school to pay his way through med school. He was here with her one Christmas, but only for an hour or so on Christmas Eve. Ate some of the food then bolted, had something better to do after that, apparently, and left. Never saw him again though rumor had it she was still with him for a few more years. She went off with him most Christmases, sometimes she'd come for Christmas Eve but then she'd spent Christmas Day off with him in their apartment."
He did actually did know about the guy – remembers when Donna came to New Hampshire, running away from that relationship. Remembers when she went back to Wisconsin, back to that relationship. Remembers when she came back again. It's crazy to Josh how their relationship goes so far back that he actually knew the version of Donna who was entwined with the jerk that he's never met but he hates.
"Anyway, after that she never brought anyone here again. There were a few years she didn't come home though, off with some guy or another – one year supposedly she flew off with a guy to some fancy inn or something, one year she was in DC looking after a guy who had been in an accident? I don't know. But she never brought anyone here. It's nice she brought you here."
Josh nods, fairly certain that he was the guy who had been in an accident – he vividly remembers her sitting with him in the ER that Christmas Eve and taking care of him afterwards. He'd been so wrapped up in his issues he'd never asked her why she wasn't at home for Christmas that year. In hindsight he knows the reason why – she'd been watching after him for some time before that and hadn't wanted to leave him.
Angela returns with the coffee and a plate of cookies. The kids run over them for the cookies so the adults stick to their coffee.
When there's a moment of quiet, Josh slips Donna her gift. There's always been some pressure to get her a meaningful gift and now he finds it heightened tenfold.
She opens the small package, giving him a grin as she does so, to find a necklace with an amethyst stone.
"Amethyst is the birthstone for February," he explains the meaning of the gift to her.
"My birthday isn't in February," she reminds him, knowing he's well aware of that.
"No. Our anniversary is." Her face goes through several expressions: confusion, understanding, surprise, appreciation, then confusion again.
"Isn't our anniversary in November, now?" she questions. They'd fought over the February-or-April work anniversary for years and now he concedes it's February just when she would probably insist it's November.
"I do appreciate November," he agrees. "But it'll always be February. I always gave you a hard time about February because you left but… we have a lot of history – good and bad. And it all started in February."
She melts a little and leans in to kiss him chastely. Still, her brother Tony whoops and one of the kids says, "Ew!" while her sister-in-law Megan grins at them.
They take a walk that afternoon to get out of the hustle and bustle of the house, the kids throwing around leftover wrapping paper and begging their parents to assemble toys. Her brother Mateo made a run for batteries that has suspiciously taken him nearly an hour when the closest CVS is right down the street. Meanwhile the kids have started rioting in chaos as they wait.
"You couldn't even look my mom in the eye this morning," Donna teases as Josh takes her hand which instantly warms her despite the freezing temperature.
"I defiled her daughter in her childhood bedroom last night. After she told me not to."
Donna laughs at his interpretation of everything. "She was joking, Josh."
"Still, I don't think she was encouraging it."
"I was quiet," she adds with a smirk.
"That was actually hot," Josh agrees and she gives his hand a squeeze and laughs.
"This was my elementary school," Donna says, nodding at the building they're passing. "When I was in elementary school you were probably…"
"Let's… not go there," Josh laughs.
"Oh, and over there is where my dad taught me to drive," she says as she points at an empty parking lot. "I ran over that curb there," she says as she indicates a small curb on one of the planter dividers in the parking lot. "And I cried about it and refused to drive again for a week."
Josh laughs, because it's so inherently Donna. "Madison is different than I thought," he says. He's been here before, but never like this – usually it's for a campaign event or something else for work and he's in and out without seeing any of the city other than the event center or business hall.
"You thought it would be a lot of Republicans walking around in their red elephant t-shirts?"
He snorts. "No." They're quiet for a moment and he adds, "Because it is a swing state, after all."
She shakes her head, eyes shining in amusement. "I love you," she tells him softly.
"I love you, too," he returns. "This is good," he says simply and she knows he's not just talking about their trip to Wisconsin, but their entire relationship.
"This is really good," she agrees softly.
"It's moving fast," he notes.
Donna agrees. "It is."
"Too fast?" he asks.
She shakes her head. "No," she says quickly, confidently. "For you?"
"Honestly, no," he admits. "I feel like… we've had a whole life together already, y'know? We've been exchanging Christmas gifts for years, we've had plenty of fights, I put your parents' cats on the Supreme Court, I almost got fired a few times and you were always there. We went through Rosslyn and Gaza, three campaign trails, two terms together in the White House. We got lost in Indiana for crying out loud. You were the one who told me my dad died. We basically committed perjury together. I've got a thousand random inconsequential memories of you that make me smile."
She laughs. "Like the eleven Minsk candles?"
His face brightens. "Exactly."
She remembers how pleased he'd been with himself when he told those stories to Jack Reese, how mortified she'd been. Those are good stories about you, though. Those stories would make me like you. In retrospect it's telling, the stories he chose about her, the stories he finds amusing and endearing.
"I know what you mean," she agrees. "This part of it is new, but – the foundation is not."
"I feel good about everything," he states. "President-Elect Santos going to the White House – he's the guy, and somehow we got him there. Being chief of staff is going to be a challenge but I've got Sam and Lou. It's a strong senior staff. Your new job – I know you're going to be amazing," he says softly and she blushes a little, squeezing his hand. "Us. For the first time I have something I want to come home to after work."
"Josh," she says softly.
"We should come back here next Christmas," he adds.
She chuckles, knowing next year at this time everything will be chaotic as they come up on the end of their first year in office, not to mention the detail that will be traveling with him by then. "Let's see how it goes."
When they go to bed that night (late and exhausted, but content), Donna thinks about a time, years ago, that she slept in this bed. She knows better than to tell Josh this story (he will probably be unbearable) but she decides to do it anyway.
"Remember when I left?" she chooses her words carefully – they've bantered over this time in their relationship plenty but she chooses not to say left you because now that they're in this place, she knows that it actually did feel to him like she left him. It's not surprising to her, really – being that she knows Josh fears losing everyone he cares about. It also makes sense why he took her quitting so personally, which she realizes now.
"Left where?" he asks, clearly not on the same train of thought as she is.
"The Bartlet campaign," she says and it clicks for him so he nods. "After the car accident, when I broke up with him, I came here. I looked at the ceiling and I thought about you."
"Me?" he asks.
She nods slowly. "I thought about you and I knew I made the wrong choice coming back here. I felt like… I missed you. I told myself it wasn't just you it was all of you guys and the campaign and everything – but I absolutely missed you. I don't know how I convinced myself to go back, I thought you'd have a new assistant already or maybe you wouldn't take me back but I just… suspected you would. Because you were a good guy. You weren't like him."
He's not unbearable after all, he just rolls over and wraps an arm around her, tucking his chin onto her shoulder and giving her a squeeze as they drift off to sleep.
Finally on their last day in Madison, Josh feels comfortable enough to venture downstairs for coffee in the morning alone, while Donna is still asleep.
He finds her parents sitting at the kitchen table, drinking their own morning coffee while her dad is reading the newspaper.
"Good morning," he greets them with a smile.
"Josh!" Angela says, delighted to see him venture downstairs without Donna escorting him. "Do you want something to eat?" she asks eagerly. "I have eggs on the stove. But, I could make you anything."
"No, no – thank you," he says. "Just some coffee would be great."
"Sure," she says happily. "Help yourself."
He fixes a cup of coffee and now he's not sure what to do, so he carefully sits down at the table with the Mosses.
"Have you enjoyed Wisconsin?" Dave asks, peering out at him from behind his newspaper.
"Yes," Josh says, carefully, still not sure how to read Donna's father. "Actually, I just told Donna the other day that I never really had a chance to spend time here before. I've been here for campaign events or work things but I've never spent any real time here."
"Less cheese than you expected?" he teases and Josh has to chuckle, remembering all the cheese jokes he used to make to Donna, all the hard times he gave her about Wisconsin. God, he knows now that he loved her then. He never imagined then to be with her in Wisconsin one day for Christmas.
"Almost," Josh jokes and both her parents laugh.
"I, uh-" he begins, "I know you have probably heard a lot of things about me," he says carefully. He knows he wasn't always the best boss. He kept Donna at work late, she probably missed some family events. Sometimes he asked her to do menial things and he wonders if she ever complained to her parents about her boss. Who knows what she told them about the past year, why she quit or why they were on two different campaigns. "We have a lot of history, me and Donna. But I just want you to know how much I love her."
"More than politics?" Dave asks him bluntly. "Than the job?"
"Yes," Josh says immediately and in such a definite way that it almost takes himself aback. He sees the faintest hint of a smile on Donna's father's lips.
"Look, things are going to get busy as soon as we get back to DC. It's going to be just as busy for Donna with her new job, not just me. I just, I don't know when we might get back out here and… it might seem like this is fast? But I swear to God it's not and I just want you to know I'm completely in love with her and I have been for years. So, I'm hoping that sometime before next Christmas maybe – I think – I will want to ask her to… marry me. I just wanted to… tell you now, because I don't know if we'll see each other in person again anytime soon." He's not sure if this should be a complete 'ask for their blessing' kind of thing or not so he toes the line. "I hope you will support that."
Angela smiles warmly and pats his hand. "I think you've been part of this family for a while now, Josh, it's just nice to actually have you here."
Dave pipes up, "You know she's been in love with you for years, too," he says simply. Josh gets it – this is why he's never been able to read her father. He's known for years how Donna felt and he was afraid – still is, probably until Josh proves him wrong – that she's going to get hurt.
Angela adds, "I knew it when you came to Germany. Beat me there, actually," she recalls with a wistful smile. "She's always talked about you, always with this smile on her face, this tender tone of voice. I used to worry about her little crush. I even told her one time not to do something stupid that could ruin her reputation in DC. She was so mad at me," Angela recalls with a chuckle. "But then you came to Germany and saw you with her there and I realized it wasn't a one sided-crush."
Josh agrees. "It never was."
They pack up their bags and Mateo is going to give them a ride to the airport.
Angela hugs them both and tells Josh, "Bring your mother next time! I know she's Jewish, but all the more reason. She doesn't have a Christmas to celebrate with someone else. We'd love to have her, spend some time with her."
"That's very nice of you, Mrs. Moss," Josh says.
"Angela, please," she reminds him.
He nods and repeats, "Angela."
To his surprise, Dave Moss leans in to give him a hug. "Nice having you, Son," he says. Then he tells Josh quietly, "I look forward to getting that call."
Josh knows what call he means, the call that will probably come before they come back here again, the call that Donna will make after he proposes to her and he takes this as Dave's acceptance of him, their relationship.
"Until next time, Wisconsin," Donna says with a laugh as they step out of the minivan Mateo borrowed from her brother Tony and into the unloading zone. "Whenever I leave, I always think about how much will change before I get back here, especially after I started working in the White House and didn't make it home every year. A lot has changed since last time I was here," she notes.
Josh knows without a doubt that next time they come here she will have some kind of ring on her finger, because he knows he probably won't even make it to summer before proposing.
"Yeah," he says absently as he maneuvers both their suitcases.
When they get out of the cold and into the terminal, Donna stops him. "I'm so glad you came with me," she tells him, giving him a kiss and warming him up from the cold.
"Me too," he agrees.
"And you never figured out which of my family are Republicans."
Josh grimaces. "I prefer it that way. Ignorance is bliss."
Donna just laughs and gives him a grin over her shoulder as she heads to the counter.
(Of course, they don't make it every Christmas. They do come back two years later: not engaged, but married, Secret Service alongside them which adds to the family's chaotic adventures. They will come back again with a toddler in tow who tears through the gifts along with her cousins. Eventually they're coming with three kids, who go sledding in the backyard with their cousins and have a snowman building contest that they make their grandparents judge.
Which, sometimes, also includes Josh's mother.)