AN: Happy Christmas Bitterbyte! I chose the prompt: something bittersweet. I hope that you enjoy!
My world has changed in so many fundamental ways. Zelgadis thought wistfully as he walked through streets he had last walked down as a small boy, holding tight to his mother's hand. It's actually comforting to think that Kamin City never changes.
No one who knew him as a boy would recognize him now. He had been altered so thoroughly that the question of whether or not he was even the same person was debatable. But the streets of Kamin City hadn't changed in the years he'd been gone. He stole some glances at the passersby and wondered if any of them had been friends with his parents or even with him. But if he was among familiar company there was no flash of recognition. Still, he'd been very young when his parents had died in the fire. Up ahead of him Lina and Gourry talked about where they should eat. Zelgadis thought about mentioning a restaurant he remembered eating at with his parents but he didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to invite questions.
"This is a cute little town." Amelia sighed as she gazed at the shops.
"Hm." Zelgadis agreed quietly. He hadn't said a word about this being his hometown. While he wasn't happy with himself for keeping the secret he also didn't want the group to pressure him to try to reconnect with his childhood home. That, and he feared that if he started opening up to Amelia he would never stop. And since there was no future for a love like theirs he needed to place every brick he could find between them. Building a wall was hard but it had to be done.
"Hey let's try this place!" Lina said as she pointed to the restaurant, and Zelgadis smiled under his mask as Gourry agreed enthusiastically. Somehow those two had happened to find the restaurant he had loved as a childhood.
A warm nostalgia filled him as he walked in and recognized the owner as she walked over to greet them. Still, he didn't give away who he was as she led them to a table and had them sit down. He quickly perused the menu and found his favorite entrée, put in his order and soon was enjoying it as Lina, Gourry and Amelia fought over food.
He tuned them out with practiced ease as he caught the ends of a conversation from a nearby table. "I reckon he figured he had nothing more to lose since he's being hung tomorrow, so he confessed to killing the Greywards."
Zelgadis coughed as he choked on his food, causing the group to look at him in concern as he pounded on his chest to clear it as he hoped he had misheard when a redhaired woman repeated loudly, "The Greywards? Don't recall that name."
"They were a strange family that moved here about a decade or so ago." And older man said as Zelgadis felt as though someone had doused him with cold water as Amelia turned to look at him while Lina looked at the floor awkwardly, "They didn't like to talk about their past and the man, Battai, always seemed to be glancing behind his back. They seemed to be running from something if you ask me."
"Didn't they die in a fire?" The restaurant owner asked.
"They did. Someone hired him and gave him a lot of money to make it look like an accident apparently. And to ensure that their boy wasn't home when it happened."
Amelia's eyes widened with trepidation as Zelgadis felt the burning heat of a spotlight upon him as the owner said, "I remember their kid. He had a funny name though. I can't seem to remember it now that I think of it. Such a sweet kid. I still remember him going to the library when all of the other kids were out playing."
"Rezo!" Zelgadis hissed as the room started to sway as the floor seemed to crumble away beneath him as he felt as though he were traveling through a tunnel. How had he never suspected it before? Without fully comprehending what he was doing he stood up and turned to the door.
"Mister…" Amelia started as she stood up as reached a hand out to him.
"Leave me be!" Zelgadis spat as he continued walking.
Lina put a hand on her arm as they watched as Zelgadis stormed out, earning a mere glance from the other patrons who soon went back to their conversations. Amelia sat back down and the group all stared at their food awkwardly for a few minutes. "Just give him time, Amelia. Something like that has to be hard to learn." Lina said consolingly.
"Oh, I understand. A little too well. It's hard enough when someone you love dies. Worse when they're murdered." Amelia said softly.
"And it's worse still when blood does it." Gourry added quietly.
"What do you know about that?" Lina asked.
Gourry averted his eyes as he seemed to shrink in his chair a little as though he wished he hadn't said anything as Amelia stood up, "I wonder if there's a florist that is still open at this hour."
Strange how he headed in the direction of the graveyard without realizing it. Strange how he was drawn to the place that had terrified him as a child even before he had been orphaned. And after, if he had ever visited their graves he had no recollection of it. Rezo hadn't even bothered to take him to their funeral.
Yet he had long ago outgrown his puerile fear of cemeteries. Grief and desire were the emotions he carried as he walked among the tombstones and methodically checked them one by one. If fate played any role in guiding him then she took her sweet time as Zelgadis felt as though he had searched the entire graveyard by the time he found them and he collapsed in relief that he wouldn't have to continue his search elsewhere.
The relief was short lived as anger rushed through him as he wondered how had he never suspected Rezo? Not even after Rezo turned him into a chimera he never thought he'd stooped to killing his parents, his own descendants!
He never thought that even Rezo would orphan him.
He didn't look up as someone approached. He hoped they would simply walk away and ignore the strange man crying in the graveyard. But then Amelia said quietly, "Mr. Zelgadis?"
He was about to snap at her to go away, but she spoke before he could, "I thought you might want these flowers to leave behind."
Zelgadis was momentarily winded as he turned to look at her and found that she was holding a bouquet of blue gladioluses. A sudden memory of walking through the countryside blanketed by flowers rose as he remembered how his mother would pick them to decorate the house. He felt himself grow warm inside as he reached for them and tried to find the words to convey his gratitude but found that he was unable to speak.
She looked at him haltingly, as though she wanted to give him a hug but was afraid to. He put his hand over hers and indicated that she could sit beside him. She moved and he took the flowers. Leave it to Amelia to think of such a touching gesture. As he placed the flowers on his parents' graves he wondered if this was the first time someone had left a token of affection behind. He hoped it wasn't, despite the fact that it was obvious that the grave was eroded and poorly cared for.
Rezo. It was all Rezo's fault! Rezo had prevented them from being properly honored!
"It must be so hard to learn something like this." Amelia said.
"It's stupid." Zelgadis said quickly, "They've been dead for years…"
"It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I still get like this when I think about my mother." Amelia said, "And there's been no new revelations about her assassination since the initial inquiry, years ago."
Somehow her words helped him to feel a little better as he felt the brick wall he had built between them shatter and fall. For a vain moment he tried to recover the bricks. He thought of what he had lost. He thought of how he could have grown up here, followed in his father's footsteps, remained human, possibly have gotten married and have had children.
But Amelia wrapped an arm around him and he gave up on rebuilding the wall as he surrendered to her comfort. Terrible things had happened to him and those he loved, and those things have brought him and Amelia together. And suddenly he realized that by maintaining the wall he was keeping out the best thing he had found in life. He turned towards her and buried his face in her shoulder as she held him, and allowed her to share in his grief.
AN: From interviews HK has revealed that Rezo murdered Zel's parents but he doesn't think Zel realizes that they were murdered. I had Zel confront this one time in Fate, but he was with Lina and Gourry's daughter in that story and I hadn't explored him confronting this with Amelia. I figured Bitterbyte's prompt of bittersweet would be a perfect prompt for this!
I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and has a wonderful 2022!