All the kids in Royal Woods loved Christmas a lot

But young Lio who lived in the Loud House, did not

Lio hated Christmas, the whole festive season

And if you asked why, he'd tell you the reason

An incident from when he was six was the cause

When Lio was peed on by a drunk mall Santa Claus

"Okay, do we really have to tell that to the reader?" Lio asked with a huff.

"And how long are we going to keep up this rhyming stuff?"

Lio wasn't the only one who didn't like old Saint Nick

For his girlfriend, Kat, Christmas made her quite sick

The reason that Kat hated that day

Was that three years ago, her dad passed away

The youthful couple decided Christmas wasn't worth keeping

In their eyes it was time for some holiday reaping

So they hatched up a plan, ignoring carolers humming

"Somehow someway we'll keep Christmas from coming"

"Oh not Lieutenant, I think our worst fear has come true" Lio let loose.

"Don't tell me Colonel, we're trapped in a parody of Dr. Suess!"

But in that instance, they hatched up a scheme

An idea that was awful, devilish and mean

"I know exactly what to do," Lio said as he cleared his throat.

"We'll have Leni make a Santy Claus hat and a Santy Claus coat"

The two went to the Loud Family Seamstress

Not letting her know of their intended meanness

"Wait, so why do you two need these costume again?" Leni asked.

"Why to entertain some friends," said Kat, "and prove we're up for the task."

"Oh okay, then here you are"

"Wait, how come Leni doesn't speak in rhyme?"

"Who cares? It's Christmas stealing time!"

Lio and Kat waited till stars hung overhead

Then they awoke from their sleep and rose from their beds

There were Loud Family stockings all hung in row

Kat said "These will be the first things to go!"

Although their plan was quite unpleasant

They stopped themselves short of stealing the presents.

"I don't know," Lio said, "seems like we're going too far."

"Then we'll leave these gifts be," Kat replied, "and leave them alone as they are."

Then with a look of malevolent glee

"And now," they declared "We shall stuff up the tree"

The moved the tree towards the chimney and started to push

Before hearing a yawn that caused them to shush

The two turned around and do you know what they saw

It was Luan Loud who watched them in awe

"Baby brother and future sister in law, why?" Luan asked. "Why are you taking our Christmas tree?"

Oh, but Lio and Kat, they had their wits

They thought up a lie and they thought it up quick

"For you see Oneechan," Lio said with a smirk

"There's a light on this tree that just doesn't work"

"So we're going to get it fixed," Kat spoke

"And we'll bring it back before everyone is awoke!"

And their fib had fooled big sister Luan

She went back to bed as they continued their plan

"Not quite fooled," Luan remarked as she poured a glass of warm milk for both Lio and Kat before setting out some gingerbread cookies for the two of them. "Just for when the two of them tire out."

"Wait, cookies?" The kids asked.

"Only for the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys," Luan said.

Kat said "Meh, this "stealing Christmas" thing was boring anyway."

Lio replied "Let's just watch Nightmare Before Christmas and hope Santa gets slayed"

And so on the couch, the three of them sat down

And watched holiday movies until morning came around

The End

One of two short Christmas stories I wrote for the holiday. I'll admit, I'm not a huge Christmas celebrator anymore, but there is some charm to the holiday and it allows the opportunity to tell wholesome stories or make silly parodies. This story is the latter. The second Christmas story of today shall be the former. Keep your eyes peeled.