Author's Note: Hope you enjoy.

Ray blinked as the world around him seemed to dissolve as he watched the portal he'd walked through close ending that part of his life. He'd chosen to walk away from the Waverider and time travel to ensure his new bride Nora had a normal life after everything she'd gone through. But as he tried to head to his new home, it wasn't there.

"Give him a minute," a familiar voice came, "He's been in longer than any of us."

Ray shook his head as the world morphed into what looked like the Waverider library with several people all watching him.

"Dr Palmer?" Gideon said but instead of from all around him her voice came from the woman standing before him, "Dr Palmer, if you can hear me, please let me know."

Confused he asked, "Gideon?"

"Yes, Dr Palmer," she smiled before glancing behind her, "The transfer has worked, Captain."

"Transfer?" Ray demanded, "What transfer? What's going on? Where's Nora?"

"This is not going to be easy to accept," Rip's voice came just before he moved to stand by Gideon, "And I am so sorry, Ray."

Ray stared at the man, "You're alive? Where have you been? How is Gideon now a person? What is going on?"

"Let him answer the first few questions and he'll get to the rest," Snart's voice came from one side.

Ray stared at the man and asked, "Leo?"

"Okay," Rip brought Ray's attention back to him, "The past few years, since we docked at the Vanishing Point haven't been real. It has been an elaborate simulation the Time Masters put us all in."

Shaking his head, Ray replied, "That makes no sense."

"Take a seat, Dr Palmer," Gideon said kindly, "Let us explain this to you fully."

x

Rip frowned as he watched Ray try to understand what was going on. Now he had been brought into what the others had termed 'The Waiting Room', it was Rip's responsibility to explain to him what had happened.

And he hated it.

It was a horrible thing to tell someone that everything that had happened to them was not real, while the friends he had, and the woman he'd married were all computer simulations.

"I understand how you feel," Rip said softly when Ray finally took a seat and dropped his head into his hands, "We all do. Martin especially lost a daughter and grandson."

Ray sighed, "I loved her so much. How can she not have been real?"

Rip shook his head, "I wish I could answer that, Ray and I'm so sorry."

"I'm glad you're not dead," Ray told him, "I know we didn't get along before you…"

Rip grimaced as Ray trailed off, "That wasn't me. I left the simulation after the incident with the Spear. The version of me from the Time Bureau onwards was a simulation."

"Really?"

Rip nodded.

"You must hate us for how we treated you," Ray said.

Resting his hand on the other man's arm, Rip assured, "You were only reacting to how Geoffrey, the AI in control of the simulation, portrayed me."

Ray rubbed his hand over his eyes again with a sigh.

"Why don't you get some rest," Rip told him, "We've all been through this, and it takes a little time to acclimate. If you need to talk, we're all here."

"Please remain still, Dr Palmer," Gideon's voice came from around him as the world solidified around him, "You have been removed from the simulation and your body needs time to recover."

"The others?" Ray murmured.

"Captain Hunter and Mr Rory were released first," Gideon told him, "Both are now fully recovered. They are helping clean up the aftermath of our rescue from the simulation."

He tried to ask about Sara, the only member of the crew who was still submerged in the simulation but couldn't get his voice to work.

"Rest, Dr Palmer," Gideon said soothingly, "You'll feel better soon."

Ray closed his eyes and slipped asleep without realising it. When he opened his eyes again Ray felt stronger and was surprised to see Mick Rory standing above him.

"How're you feeling, Haircut?"

Ray licked his lips and forced out, "Slightly better."

Mick handed him a cup, "It's water. Drink it all."

Ray followed Mick's instructions before asking, "How are the others?"

Mick shrugged, "Getting there. Hunter is supervising them bringing blondie out the machine just now."

"Why was she left in longer than the rest of us?" Ray asked confused.

"It was safer to bring everyone who was in the waiting room out first," Mick explained, "She was still in the simulation anyway."

Ray grimaced, he started to move off the bed confused when Mick rested his hand on his shoulder pushing him back.

"You might feel better," he said, "But you're not. Your muscles need strengthened again. You should be able to walk by tomorrow at least."

"Mr Rory is correct," Gideon spoke up, "Gilbert is arranging for you to be transported into the same room as Mr Jackson and Professor Stein."

Ray nodded.

"Mr Rory," Gideon stated, "Your presence is requested in the docking bay."

Mick nodded, "See you later, Haircut. Do what Gilbert tells you, he isn't as easy going as Gideon."

With that he left, and Ray closed his eyes once more.

x

"Ray."

The familiar voice made Ray open his eyes and he smiled to see Jax and Martin on beds beside him. Martin had his eyes closed while Jax smiled to see him

"Jax," he smiled, "Are you okay?"

"Feelin' weaker than a kitten," Jax noted with a slight shrug, "But other than that not too bad."

"Well that is expected considering," an unexpected and unmistakable voice of Cisco said as he appeared from the other side of the room, "From what we know the simulation takes a toll on the body as your mind is telling you you're running about and doing all sorts of things when you're not. Apparently, the Time Masters never bothered trying to work out how to fix the problem."

"How long were we in there after Mr Rory and Captain Hunter were removed?" Martin asked curiously surprising them that he was awake.

Cisco shrugged, "Not too long. Rip and Mick didn't need the same healing time as the rest of you."

Curiosity filled Ray and he demanded, "Why?"

"From what I was told they both have nanites in their system meant for a medical emergency," Cisco's eye lit up with excitement, "It looked really painful but after a few hours sleep they were both up and about. No one will let me see the schematics for it though."

"It is technology far ahead of your time steam, Mr Ramon," Gideon scolded him.

Cisco pointed to the ceiling, "And that's the answer I've got to basically every question I've had about this place."

"How did you get here?" Jax asked.

Cisco grinned, "Mad sorcerer guy appeared and demanded to speak to Gideon who then contacted this even weirder guy in a blue and gold costume. The next thing I know me and Barry are travelling through time. We ended up on the Waverider and then all hell broke loose."

"How?" the three men demanded.

"Gideon sent out some signal to the other Captains," Cisco explained, "They all appeared at the Vanishing Point and took over. The Council are now in the cells and the Captains' are in charge."

Jax sighed, "So we won. That's something at least."

Ray nodded. It was a victory, but it seemed so hollow considering what he'd lost.

When he'd lost Anna it had changed him but losing Nora, learning that she wasn't even real, felt like a knife through his heart.

His best friend was also a made-up character, and as happy as he was to know that Snart, Rip and Martin were alive, part of him wished that he could get back to the world with the people he loved.

And he hated himself for wishing that.

A knock on the door to the room he'd been given to rest overnight made Ray jump, "Come in."

The door slid open, and Rip appeared before him, "Good morning. I trust you slept well?"

Ray shrugged, "Bed was a bit hard."

"Unfortunately, these were the only accommodations available outside the ship," Rip apologised, "And currently being on board isn't possible while Gilbert has you under medical supervision."

Ray shrugged, "The room isn't that bad. Reminds me of my dorm room in college."

"Well," Rip said as he leaned back against the wall, "These are the cadet quarters. I lived in one of these rooms all through my training."

Ray frowned slightly confused at the smile that touched Rip's lips, "I didn't think that would be a happy memory."

"Some of it was good," Rip replied softly, "The time I spent with Miranda will always be happy."

Ray took a breath before saying, "I'm sorry we couldn't save her for you."

"And I'm sorry about Nora," Rip told him, "I know it isn't easy waking up and discovering she wasn't real in this world when she was completely real to you."

Ray stared at him.

"You've still lost your wife, Ray," Rip said softly, "She's the person you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I know how painful that is. You've also lost friends who you remember fighting side by side with."

"Rip…"

"You're allowed to grieve," Rip told him before grimacing, "I'm not exactly the person to listen to considering what I did when I lost my family but don't make my mistakes." He paused and looked around the small room, "When you get home, remember you're not alone."

Ray watched Rip turn to leave before calling out to him.

"When you were here," Ray said, "You spent a lot of time in one of these rooms with Miranda, didn't you?"

A sad smile touched Rip's lips, "One of the first rules I broke was sneaking out of my room at night to sneak into hers. She was a terrible influence."

With that he nodded and left Ray alone once more.

x

They were a sombre group as they headed to the Waverider to return home. Ray felt strange as he walked side by side with Jax back to the ship, his memory of leaving with Nora still fresh in his mind.

Entering the bridge, Ray frowned seeing the chairs were still in the configuration they'd been in when they first joined Rip.

"Everyone grab a seat," Snart called as he walked in, "We're leaving in two minutes."

"Where's Sara?" Ray asked before Jax could.

"Sara," Rip stated as he walked onto the bridge, "Is in the brig. She unfortunately didn't accept the truth of what happened even when Mr Snart laid it out for her. We cannot leave her loose onboard the ship."

Ray saw Jax and Stein both frown as he himself grimaced. Sara had been their Captain and that loyalty tugged at them.

"Let's go," Snart said before anyone could argue, "I want to see my sister."

Rip nodded, "Gideon, do we have authorization from control?"

"Yes, Captain," Gideon replied, "You may leave the Vanishing Point when ready."

Ray closed his eyes as the ship began to ease away from the station, knowing that although he was going home, it wasn't home anymore.

x

Landing the Waverider in the abandoned lot in Central City where they had first seen her, Rip opened the cargo bay doors and looked at the people who had helped him once they were outside the ship.

"I know I lied to get your help," he said softly, "But I am so grateful for each and every one of you. I understand that it will be difficult to go back to your normal lives, but it is for the best. I hope you all stay in each other's lives and support one another. I also ask you help Sara reintegrate and understand what happened. I wish we could have done more to help her, but I can't. The only other option we had was to remove her memory, but I won't do that. Not without her permission."

Ray watched as Kendra hugged Rip, Carter shook his hand, as did Martin. Jax hugged him then it was Ray's turn. Knowing there was nothing more he could say to the other man, Ray hugged him quickly as well.

He joined his friends to watch the Waverider leave and they all stood staring at the empty sky for several seconds.

"I can't believe Mick went with him," Jax said suddenly.

Snart sighed, "He was a bounty hunter and wanted to help the others once they were released. He can do more there than here."

Before they could ask the sound of a vehicle drawing up made them all turn to see the Star Labs Van stop.

Cisco stuck his head out the window, "You guys need a lift?"

Ray tinkered with the ATOM suit in the small lab he'd been given to use in Star Labs. It had been a month since Rip had left them back in their own time and it was so strange. All the memories he had of these people after he left on the Waverider weren't real and he forgot every so often.

"So," the familiar drawl of Leonard Snart came from the doorway making him turn, "This is where you're hiding."

Ray stood surprised to see the other man, "What are you doing here? How are you?"

Snart chuckled, "I'm okay, and we're here so Cisco can tell Lisa I'm not lying about where I've been for the past few months."

Ray nodded.

"How are you?" Snart asked, before noting, "I thought you'd be back at your fancy big office building with your high-tech labs."

Ray shrugged, "I thought about it, but I'm not really needed there. Team Flash were happy for me to stick around and help out here for a while."

Snart nodded in understanding.

"Heard from any of the others?" Ray asked as he grabbed the coffee pot and offered Snart some.

The other man nodded, "I checked in on Jax last week, he's at college while Stein has retired. Kendra called a few days ago to check up on me. She's happy, so is Carter now they no longer have Savage hanging over their head."

Ray nodded, "Good. That's good to know. What about Mick?"

Snart sighed, "Nothing from him but I don't expect to hear from him for a while at least. Pretty sure they're going to be really busy for a while after what happened with the Time Masters."

"Have you heard from Sara?" Ray asked, "Because I did try to call her, and she didn't answer."

Snart sighed, "No, I haven't. I tried to call her too."

"This just feels so wrong," Ray shook his head, "We spent years on that ship."

"Six months," Snart corrected.

"I made friends, I fell in love," Ray cried, "I got married and suddenly she's gone? It isn't right."

Snart's head dipped in sympathy, "It isn't and if we'd had any control over that part of the simulation, I'd have made sure it didn't happen."

"Well it did," Ray snapped, "And Rip dumped us back here."

"To be fair to Hunter," Snart replied, "Things in his world are in chaos right now. He wouldn't be much use to us."

Ray let out a snort.

"No love for the guy but he lost his family too," Snart reminded him, "And the people who raised him and he worked for most of his life turned out to be the ones who took them. He sent us back because this is where we're meant to be." Snart patted his shoulder as he headed out, "You should check in with the others."

With that he walked out the lab leaving Ray alone once more.

x

Kendra smiled as she ran over to hug Ray when he walked into the restaurant. It was now three months since Rip had dropped them off and this was the first time they'd managed to arrange to all meet up.

Once Kendra let him go, Jax then Martin hugged him, Carter shook his hand before Snart nodded his greeting.

"So," Kendra smiled, "How is everyone?"

"Good," Jax shrugged, "I'm at college. Though got to meet up with Grey every day so we don't explode."

"Clarissa has gotten used to him being around," Martin chuckled, "She always makes dinner for three these days."

Jax grinned, "I eat well."

"What about you two?" Ray asked Kendra and Carter.

Kendra smiled, "We're doing well. Got jobs, learning to live knowing this is our only life now. It's good. Leonard?"

As all eyes turned to him and he shrugged, "I'm fine."

"Don't go overboard telling us everything," Kendra teased.

"Did you invite Sara?" Ray asked, realising there was an empty chair at the table.

Kendra nodded, "She didn't reply."

"So, no one's heard from her at all?" Jax demanded.

They all shook their heads.

"We can't just leave her alone," Jax noted, "She was our leader. We owe her a hell of a lot."

Ray frowned as he realised that was only true for half the people at the table, Kendra and Carter had left before Sara took over while Snart had been, as far as they knew, dead.

"It's Sara's choice," Snart replied, "We can't force her to talk to us."

Kendra nodded, "I just wish she wasn't shutting us out. Maybe Rip should have blanked her memory. It might have been better for her."

"She'd never have agreed to that," Snart reminded her, "And Hunter wouldn't do it without her agreement."

They sat in silence for several minutes before Martin spoke up.

"Perhaps we focus on the fact we are all here," he said, "And all alive. We can think of a way to help Sara after we enjoy our meal."

With that pronouncement, they changed the subject, but Ray couldn't stop thinking about what Kendra had said.

It had been easy to send a message.

Gideon in the Time Vault was as helpful as the one on the Waverider, although without the Waverider Gideon's sense of humour.

He headed back to his apartment, wondering if he'd even get a reply or if he was shouting out into the void.

Just as he was sitting down to eat that night a strange noise came from behind him and Ray turned surprised to see Rip walking through a portal.

"Is the Time Courier real?" was the first thing Ray asked.

Rip smiled, "It is now. The original design was something I came up with several years ago that the Time Masters rejected. Since the new council grounded everyone while everything was getting sorted, I took the time to work on it." He held up his wrist, "This is the prototype."

Ray nodded impressed.

"But that's not why you asked me here," Rip said, "Is it, Ray?"

Ray sighed, "I want you to remove my memories of what happened. I don't want to remember what I lost. I don't want to remember Nora."

Surprise covered Rip's face, "Are you sure?"

Nodding Ray sighed.

"You have to understand what you're asking," Rip continued, "It won't just take your memories of Nora but all the memories of the time you spent with people who became your friends."

"But they weren't real," Ray snapped.

Rip sighed, "Jax, Martin and Sara are."

"That isn't fair," Ray frowned.

"I'm not trying to be fair," Rip replied, "I just need you to know exactly what you're agreeing to give up."

Ray rolled his eyes, "You don't know what this is like, Rip. I loved Nora. I loved her and she's nowhere. I have nothing to hold onto."

"I know how you feel," Rip reminded him.

"But at least your wife was real," Ray snapped at him, "You have that at least, Nora was a computer simulation. Nothing was real."

Rip let out a slow breath, "Okay. If you're sure, then I will remove your memories tomorrow."

"Why not now?"

"I need to programme the wiper," Rip explained, "To make sure I remove the precise information and not anything you don't want to lose."

Ray sighed, "When?"

"I'll return at 8am tomorrow morning," Rip told him, "Make sure you have everything sorted so that once your memories are removed there are no problems."

With a nod, he reopened the portal and left Ray alone once more.

x

Ray spent the night writing message to his friends, so that they knew he'd asked Rip to wipe his memories of his time in the Waverider after their 'defeat' of the Time Masters. Once he set the emails up to send after Rip had performed the wipe, to make sure none of them tried to stop him, Ray watched the clock move closer to 8am.

The moment the clock hit 8, the portal opened in the room and Rip walked into his apartment again.

"Good morning," Rip said softly, "Are you ready?"

Ray hesitated for a moment before he nodded.

"Okay," Rip replied, "Before we do this however, I wanted you to look at something."

Confused Ray took the tablet Rip handed him. Looking down he stared as it lit up and Nora's picture appeared. A few seconds later, it changed to show them together. It slowly moved through a mixture of pictures and video of Nora with him, with the others or on her own.

"What?" Ray whispered looking at the man standing watching him silently, "What is this?"

"This is the woman you loved," Rip told him softly, "The memories you hold with her. This is more than I have of Miranda. Do you really want to give these up?"

Ray frowned at him, "You were never going to remove my memories, were you?"

"I don't like playing with people's minds," Rip reminded him, "That is what Druce and his followers did, we are trying to be better than the old regime." Rip shook his head sadly, "It might not have been real, Ray but your reactions to it were. Just like Snart chose to sacrifice himself, you did a lot during your time with the team that make you who you are. You deserve to keep your memories. I know it's hard but try and focus on the good things."

Ray watched him open the portal again but before he stepped through Ray called, "I hate you right now."

Rip shrugged sadly, "You're not alone in that respect."

He walked through portal which closed behind him as though it had never been there.

Left alone once more Ray sat watching the photos and videos of Nora. Watching her, he smiled slightly and took a slow breath before stopping the emails he'd spent all night writing from going out to everyone.

Cursing Rip under his breath, Ray knew he had no choice but to keep going.

No matter how much it hurt.