my take on a nearly next-gen fic as well as the only way i can pull off fluff
christmas shopping
by raspberryfanfics
The snow sparkles in the evening darkness, lit by fluorescent yellow street lights. The buzzing of Christmas tunes and bustling of frenzied shoppers fills the streets with a strange positivity.
Three young teens, a girl and two boys, curl their hands in their mittens as they look around the street, intimidated by the abundance of red and green, the millions of trees and candy canes that mock them. Their foreheads are covered by a metal plate, a symbol resembling a leaf engrained on each. Their eyes are large and innocent, they each have a handful of cash in their pockets.
"Where should we start?" the girl asks, her gaze darts around the stores. Neither of the boys respond, hoping to rely on each other to answer first. She glares at the two. "Seriously?"
"Do you think we have any idea of what Neji-sensei would want for Christmas?" says the shorter one. He runs his fingers through his messy hair.
"You could at least try!" she groans, frustrated.
He scoffs. "C'mon, not like you're being very helpful either,"
"Shut up, Konami!"
The third one only grins, simply enjoying the banter between his teammates. His entertainment is noticed quickly, however.
"What are you smiling at, Nikkoki?" the girl barks. The conflict is suddenly revolved, Konami stands behind her with his arms crossed in solidarity.
He suddenly backs away, waving his hands, mind scrambling to ease out of his unpleasant situation. "I'm sorry Akahana!"
Akahana's temper dies down quickly and she just sighs, wordlessly heading into the largest department store. The two boys follow her without a second thought. They are engulfed by the bright lights and mess, the floor is stained by the mud of everyone's boots.
They scan through items slowly, brushing items that they wish they could buy for themselves. Other shoppers rush past with purpose, giving the three a slow glare of judgement before forgetting about their existence.
"How about this sweater?" Nikkoki suggests, holding up a forest green crewneck with vertical white stripes.
The two others cringe.
"I don't think he would wear that," Konami admits honestly. Akahana nods in agreement, but she scans the other sweaters on the shelf.
"How about this one?" she holds up a knitted one.
"That looks like something my grandpa would wear."
"But Neji-sensei dresses like a grandpa!"
"Fair, but still ugly."
"This one?"
"The colours are too bright for his dry personality."
"Only Lee-sensei would wear that."
Konami picks up a light blue sweater that nearly resembles Neji's pale lavender eyes. His two teammates examine it closely, rubbing their chins extensively.
"There's something about it I can't put a pin on…" Nikkoki says.
"I know, it's like…like I've seen it before…" Akahana agrees.
The silence between them lingers for a few seconds until Nikkoki snaps his fingers. "I know! That looks awfully like the sweater Neji-sensei wore occasionally last year!"
Suddenly, the mystery is solved. "Yea! Then Tenten-sensei stole it and he never wore it again."
"Do you think she'll give it back?"
"Probably not, but I don't think buying the same sweater would be very thoughtful…"
As they wander aimlessly, Akahana steps into an isle without warning, peeking her head in for a quick look. Her teammates allow her to more closely examine the isle and she thanks them with a small nod before crouching down to look at the variety of fruity body mists on the shelves.
With little else to do as they wait, Nikkoki and Konami search the rest of the isle, skimming the items patiently. Akahana becomes satisfied with her findings, despite not carrying anything to buy for herself. She approaches them as they stop looking at items, a sign to leave. However, she stops again at where the boys were standing. The skincare shelf stares at them, welcoming them into a world of confusion.
"What if we bought him a face mask or something?" she suggests.
The boys look at each other, recalling that Neji Hyuga has clearer skin than a glass orb. The search for the perfect skincare product starts, though they soon realize that they know nothing about their sensei's skin, nor skincare. Each of the masks seems to target an issue but for all they know, their sensei has none.
"Does Neji sensei have oily skin?" Konami asks, his eyebrows knit in confusion.
"I think he has normal skin," Akahana replies.
"There's nothing normal about looking like a porcelain doll," Nikkoki offers, but he only receives eye rolls from his teammates.
"Do you think he would prefer the aloe vera face mask with the green graffiti packaging or the kawaii one?"
"I think he would prefer a face mask that's well beyond our price range," Nikkoki realizes. Konami and Akahana sign in unison as he picks up a jar of body butter. "Hm, this kind of smells like Tenten-sensei."
He exchanges the butter and they do in agreement. "Do you think this is the one she uses?"
"I think vanilla is a pretty common scent."
The three tread around the store a second time. Konami holds up a scarf. It's a beautiful scarf, beige cashmere with black and white plaid stripes. The price point is fair and the design feels taken straight from a British magazine. They easily envision their mentor sporting it around his neck walking home after taking them for ramen.
They each look at each other convinced that this present is the one. Yet as they barely reach the check-out lane, Akahana halts in her tracks, her doe-like eyes wide in alarm.
"Wait! When was the last time you saw Neji-sensei wearing a scarf that wasn't the ugly one Tenten-sensei knit him?"
The boys groan in frustration and they rush back to the clothing department, dropping it on the nearest change room rack.
By now, the team is exhausted. They scan through chocolates that they know he won't each or will just give away to Naruto-senpai and candy cane lanterns with no real meaning other than being a forgotten decoration. They have tried to find their sensei a Christmas present but the hours have only passed and the day only lurks closer with each moment. They sit on a couch in the department store, watching people pass with little interest. Yet as they observe for longer and longer, they notice that a good number of people have purchased the exact same bottle of wine, people who are of similar age to Neji and have forehead protectors.
They rush towards the aisle without a second thought, grabbing the familiar bottle before pausing, realizing far too slowly that they are underage and cannot purchase alcohol.
"Are you serious?" Konami groans. He looks around, deciding that if he were to throw a small tantrum, it would only be within the view of his teammates. The coast appears to be clear. "Why did we have to get the most privileged, confusing sensei?"
"If we bought him chocolate he would pretend to like them," Nikkoki points out.
"That's literally so depressing," says Akahana, her shoulders droop.
They place the bottle of wine back onto the shelf, about to leave before a voice calls out in surprise.
"No way! Team 3?"
They turn towards a familiar voice and are met with a familiar face. Tenten has a basket filled with miscellaneous items and she looks truly happy to see them. She immediately sets down her items to give all three of them a good bear hug, one that parallels the ones of Gai and Lee-sensei. As the three struggle for air, she grins down at her work.
"So, what are you three doing, by the alcohol of all places…"
Akahana jumps. "Please don't tell Neji-sensei!"
Tenten raises an eyebrow. "Were you three planning on—"
"No! It's not like that!" Nikkoki interrupts.
"Yea! It's not what it looks like…"
"Hey, look guys," Tenten shakes her head in disappointment. "I'm not that crazy of a role model, but you kids are too young. If you guys really want to drink I can take you out for dinner and give you a cup of sake each or something. If you're going to do it you need to be under supervision. I don't want three drunk genin running around. Neji would be heartbroken if something happened—"
"Tenten-sensei, we weren't trying to buy anything for ourselves. We wanted to buy a gift for Neji-sensei and we wanted you to keep that a secret!"
Her face goes through several stages of realization until she laughs at herself, reaching for a different bottle of wine than the one they had originally bought.
"This one is his favourite, introduced to him by me, of course," she winks. "I'll buy it for you three. It's really the thought that counts when it comes to gifts like these."
Their eyes light up and they follow her to checkout, waiting patiently in line. Tenten hums a romantic Christmas tune, lost in thought. Yet when she looks back at the genin, they are whispering, scheming about something she cannot hear. They push each other back and forth until Nikkoki steps forwards in perfect posture.
"Actually, Tenten-sensei, there's another favour we need from you."
While confused, she nods. "Anything for you three…"
On Christmas day, Neji is met by a huge, huge present in his doorway. He sees his genin peeking their heads out from being it, sweat trickling down their face. He rubs his eyes, extremely confused.
"What is going on here?" he demands.
"Merry Christmas sensei! This is our gift to you!" Akahana announces.
Konami directs him to the bow. "You can open it here,"
He reluctantly pulls the ribbon and the sides of the present fall down, creating a large bang as it hits the floor. To his surprise, his own teammate stands in the centre of where the box used to be, a blindfold wrapped around her eyes. In her hand is his favourite bottle of wine.
"Tenten?" his voice is alarmed.
She rips off the blindfold and meets his pale gaze, equally shock. They are at a loss for words, only able to turn to the three who are smiling innocently.
"We didn't know what to get you, but then we remembered that everything we tried to get you sort of just returned back to Tenten-sensei. Which is why we just decided to get you her."
It is only then that Neji and Tenten realize that above their heads hangs a perfect bouquet of mistletoe. They look at the genin who wait expectantly, then back at each other.
Suddenly, without any warning, Neji and Tenten start to make out with each other furiously, leaving no room for the Christ in Christmas. All three of them scream out in horror, their virgin eyes scarred with the scene before them. The scene before them replays over and over with no end.
"Oh god! What have we done?"
end