A Duel With the Mind

By Cody Guli

I'm going to be completely honest, I haven't really been putting much work in my writing the past few months. I've been hopping from job to job and trying desperately to fix my sleep schedule, and yet I'm still exhausted as heck. My Journal of Renault series has stalled yet again as a result.

Still, since 2021 is winding down, I've decided to dedicate what time I have left in the year to reach my writing goals. In the meantime, enjoy another Fire Emblem Three Houses fanfic.

Evening was drawing closer. Dimitri's army barely made it out alive from the battle with Cornelia in the capital of Fhirdiad, and they needed a well-deserved rest. Byleth caught his breath, still worn out from the battle that had just happened. The Empire seemed to grow stronger by the minute, and at any rate they could very well end up overwhelmed. This didn't bother Dimitri in the slightest, who was still marching his hulking body around with a grimace on his face, mumbling to himself like a madman. It was enough to concern Mercedes greatly, enough to bring it up with Byleth. The two decided to bring themselves outside by the castle's courtyard to discuss their lord's wellbeing.

"Personally," Mercedes began, " I'm very concerned for his health. He hasn't slept or ate much since we took our leave from the monastery. What's worse is that he lumbers around talking to himself all the time, and that he's more violent than I remembered him being."

"I understand your concerns Mercedes," Byleth replied. "However, I'm afraid we've not much choice. Dimitri has lost himself to revenge, to madness. You know as well as I that since the fall of Garreg Mach and the identity of the Flame Emperor being revealed, it's the only two emotions that he's been able to feel."

"There must be something we can do for him though. There must be!"

"You care a lot about him, don't you?"

Mercedes nodded solemnly. "He was such a sweet, handsome, and academic man back when we were students. He was strong and good-willed, and would throw himself in front of a blade for his friends. But now…all I see when I look in his eyes is a cold, emotionless being. Like a living husk, only…"

"Only what?"

She shook her head. "Oh, nothing. I just wish we could do something to bring back the old Dimitri, the kind and strong Dimitri. But how?"

"I wish I had an answer for you, Mercedes. I really do." He paused. "Night's coming soon. We ought to get some rest."

"I'll…I'll wait a little."

"Mercedes?"

"I just need to clear my mind before I go to sleep. Good night." The two waved each other goodbye and went their separate ways, Mercedes walking as fast as she could inside. She hoped Byleth wouldn't realize what she was actually intending to do.

Meanwhile, in the castle's church, Dimitri stood alone in the middle of the room, motionless, expressionless. He looked at his gauntlets, which were still stained with the blood of his enemies. The sight of it started to make him feel odd, and suddenly he could feel the room growing darker around him. The more he looked at the blood, the darker the room got. Then, as if by magic, the candlelights illuminating the church went out, leaving only the moonlight as the sole source of light in the room. Dimitri readied his lance, scouting every inch of the room around him. Suddenly, he began hearing voices inside his head. He could hear Solon, Lonato, Miklan, Cornelia, even Edelgard, whispering, almost mocking him. Dimitri's heartbeat grew faster and his breathing became snarling as his eyesight continued to circle his surroundings. Soon he began to hallucinate, the first vision he saw being soldiers of the Adrestrian Empire slowly marching towards him. He jousted with his lance to try and push them back, yet they kept moving forward. He gritted his teeth and charged towards them, but as he was about to make contact, the soldiers vanished and were replaced by an Umbral Beast. The Beast growled menacingly at Dimitri, who snarled right back. As he raised his lance to strike, the vision turned this time into a little brown-haired girl. He lowered his weapon and gazed into her eyes, feeling a familiar sense within himself.

"You…" he replied with a wince, preparing his lance to strike again. "I should have done this years ago…" He drove his lance forward, but the vision vanished again. He grew angrier and angrier by the moment. "Come on out you dastard! I know you're here messing with my head! Edelgard! Reveal yourself!"

As if his words were heard by some unknown force, Edelgard approached him from behind and slammed the blade of her axe across a pillar, causing both to be destroyed. As Dimitri swung around, the scenery changed again. This time Dimitri and the fake Edelgard were surrounded in a ring of fire, the burning corpses of several soldiers lining the circle. The veins in Dimitri's forehead throbbed as he clutched the handle of his lance. But then an idea appeared in his head.

"No…" he said to himself as he threw his lance to the ground. "The blade is too good a death for you. No…if I'm going to kill you, I'll make it slow and painful." He suddenly leapt forward and clutched 'Edelgard's' throat, dragging 'her' to the ground. His eyes were filled with a strange mixture of bloodlust, anger, and satisfaction as he began to choke the vision's life away. The vision pleaded with him, clutching his arms tightly, but it was no use. This only drove Dimitri to further suffocate the vision as he began to chuckle maniacally.

"Dimitri! Stop!" called a voice from somewhere. Suddenly, he felt something dragging him forcefully to the ground, ending the hallucination. He looked up and saw Byleth standing over him, looking worried and shocked. He sat up and saw Mercedes down on all fours, coughing and spluttering, tears streaming from her eyes. Dimitri slowly began to realize what had happened, his eyes widening as he looked at the both of them.

"Teacher…Mercedes…what have I done?!" he cried out before suddenly fainting.

Mercedes managed to stand on her own two feet, still shaking and breathing heavily. "Dimitri…"

"He passed out," Byleth examined. "Are you okay? Will you be able to help me carry Dimitri to his room?"

"I-I think so…" Mercedes cleared her throat and put one of Dimitri's arms around her shoulder. Byleth did the same with the other arm and the two dragged him with all their might to his quarters. There they gently laid him on his bed and told the bishop nearby to keep an eye on him. Byleth offered to walk Mercedes back to her quarters, but she refused kindly. "I-I need to stay with him."

"But Mercedes," Byleth replied, "he nearly choked you to death. What's to say he won't do that again?"

"He was clearly hallucinating, but like you said he passed out. He probably won't wake until the morning. Until then I…I need to make sure he'll be okay." She placed her hand on his chest softly and smiled. "I'll be okay, I promise."

"Mercie…"

"Please don't worry about me Professor. I'll make sure it doesn't happen twice. And if it does, the bishop here can help me calm him. You must trust me, Professor."

Byleth sighed. "Okay, but please do be careful in case he does act out again. Good night." He shut the door to Dimitri's room slowly and left the three of them alone. Mercedes' smile quickly went away as the door closed, and she quietly began to weep.

"O-Oh Dimitri," she sniffled, "I wish we could go back to how things used to be…you were so much happier then…"

Although Mercedes couldn't see it, a single small tear rolled down the side of Dimitri's face.

Thank you for reading! If you haven't already, go follow my Journal of Renault series so that you can know when it gets updated. And don't forget to follow my Twitter handle (codyguliwriting) as well as review and follow for more fanfics like this one!