What is Love?
A fanfic by sorrowXdarkness
A Yu Yu Hakushou's fanfic
oooOOOooo
I don't know what I'm doing. Ever since that day when my world came crashing down, I felt the shards of broken glass with every step I took. Feeling each cut below my bare feet as I continued with this tranquil walk. The only sound I could hear are the cracks below as I look ahead. I managed to keep myself occupied with work, putting on a false smile each time someone comes up to me to make small talk. It only deepened the glass that pressed into the sole of my feet, but I kept up with the facade. No one needed to know about what was going on with my life. No one.
It was not anyone's business while I'm heading down a road of degradation.
Their knowledge of my actual state of affair was more prevalent than my wellbeing. Was that weird? I didn't think so. I entered the familiar cafe as I ordered my routine drink with the same employee standing behind the counter. She smiled as she knew right away what I required. It made the transaction simple as I replied with nothing more than a smile before paying for my drink. As I walked away, the employee spoke to the next customer. The customer spoke about me and how I presented myself professionally. The girl agreed as she spoke about how she wished she was like me. Their attention went towards the next order as I mustered every once of my will to not scream.
I'm not happy.
I'm not strong and independent.
Everything I did was so I could escape from myself.
I wanted to tell them not to become like me. That should be the last thing anyone wanted to be. But I didn't. I kept walking with empty hands. My drink was now discarded in the first trash outside the establishment. My mood worsened, but I did nothing to remedy it. Taking my seat on the wooden bench, I waited for the next bus to arrive. It should be here in a couple of minutes. Sighing, I played with my watch on my wrist. I was not one to dabble with my phone. Especially when it only contained the message I refused to delete. Suddenly, I felt someone's presence as they sat beside me. At first, they said nothing as they closed their eyes. The person was a bit short, something I could tell from first glance. But still, he was not bad looking. His face was tense, but so was his body. Then again, who was I to judge? I was in no better shape as I had to take medication to deal with my anxiety.
Just thinking about it, only fueled my frustration. Five years. It was five years ago since my previous self vanished. No, better yet, she was killed. Betrayed. Backstabbed by the one she thought she knew so well. How gullible was she? And the best part? She honestly thought they had a future together since grade school. It only made sense after over a decade of this game. Only to end with her being the loser in every sense of the word. She lost everything she deemed important. Everything she accomplished since then, was to keep me suspended. 'Borrow time' as my soul continues to rot.
It seems my feelings were getting the better of me as the tears began to set. Upon feeling them leaking out, I whispered. The words came out, but I didn't expect to get a response.
"What is love?"
What is the point if it leads to nothing but false promises? Unfulfilled wish? Future never realized? Dying words? Was there a point with her trying? What was I trying to do exactly? Pretend everything was fine and hopefully move on? That's what I've been doing for the last FIVE YEARS AND STILL! I can't sleep. I can't eat. Everything I tried...everything I did...was so he wouldn't matter.
Yet he did. My actions were counterproductive as they proved how much of an effect he still has over me.
"I don't know."
I froze when I heard his voice.
"But whatever happened to you wasn't love." There was no doubt in his voice as he slowly turned his head towards me. His crimson eyes stared at my own as he presented me with a handkerchief. "There is no way love would do that to a person."
Feeling the fabric softly against my cheek, I cried.
That day, two strangers shared something they haven't shared with anyone in a long time. The guy spoke about his share of romance and how it ended so effortlessly. His girlfriend, a woman he proposed to at the beginning of their senior year of highschool, decided to leave him. He was not compatible with her 'dream', so she cast him to the side. His reputation was unbecoming of her and her ambition. And ironically, she was now dating someone whose reputation was well known across the town for his act of delinquency. Did that make sense? No. But then, love was never straightforward.
I agreed. Yusuke lied to me. Fed me hope and promise of a simple dream. That we'll grow old together. To give birth to a child and give that sweet baby everything we could. And despite the fights we had, part of me enjoyed them. It showed how close we were, and no matter how hard I slapped him he would always bounce back. His snarky attitude, perverted mind and constant need to validate his existence were endearing to me. So why did he leave me? Why did he say the things he said?
They were like siblings? When did I ever tell him that I thought of him as a brother? NOT ONCE! So I'll ask again. I'll look to find what is right. To avoid what is wrong. Protect the happiness I desire. Yes, I'll ask again. My face felt warm and partly swollen, but still I asked the guy.
"What is Love?"
oooOOOooo
"Love is only a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning.
Don't give up. Remember, it's always the last key on the key ring that opens the door."
― Paulo Coelho
Author's Notes:
It has certainly been a while since I last uploaded anything. For some reason, I find myself returning to these two, and feel somewhat compelled to write another story about them. It may be because I started to listen to a song that reminded me about them. I don't understand why exactly that was the case, but it did. So here I wrote another fanfic between Hiei and Keiko. What did you think? Until next time! -sorrowXdarkness
P.S. The song is "What is love? By Jaymes Young