23
In Vino Veritas
Chloe could blame Linda for the current awkwardness of her situation. For whatever reason, her friend had suggested that it might be fun for the tribe to expand a bit. Not always, but sometimes it was healthy to do things with the guys too. That was fine for Linda to say. She was co-parenting well with Amenadiel, was friends with Dan, and probably still made a mint as Lucifer's therapist. She was not agreeing to go to a Christmas party with her ex-husband and her ex-whatever she and Lucifer had been to each other. There wasn't quite a word for never sealed the deal and would have but there were evil priests first.
Ha!
Make that card Hallmark.
However, she'd agreed to the gang group bonding festivities on the understanding that Linda would have her back, be the buffer. Instead, poor Charlie was having a bout of the Christmas flu and was miserable at home with Linda and Amenadiel both. That left Chloe at Lucifer's penthouse, sitting on his sofa, sandwiched between Maze and Eve, who were in town for the holidays and who had never found a form of PDA they didn't like, as well as Ella and her date, a forensic tech named Renee Diaz who was usually on third shift. As far as Ella had already explained that night, the two had met at a conference a few months ago and weren't quite defining things yet.
At the piano, tickling the ivories and already into a couple tumblers of Scotch-not that she assumed it could affect the Devil much even with her around-sat Lucifer. Dan was by the bar and, worryingly, also working through some of Lucifer's top shelf pretty fast. He'd cast glares every so often toward Chloe, and she wasn't even sure what that was about. There'd been tension between them since everything with Trixie at Lucifer's that time Tiernan's assassin had broken in. He was mad at her for not having kept an eye on their daughter and Trixie's talent for Ubering. Chloe was frustrated because he'd started skipping his weekends or coming up for pale excuses to quit early and return Trix by Saturday night.
She wasn't sure what his deal was, but her ex was spiraling through something.
But Chloe was already drowning too much to really help him.
"Do you want to do the white elephant gifts next?" Eve asked, as effusive and bubbly as ever.
When Eve had first shown up over a year ago in Los Angeles, Chloe really had wanted to hate her. But she was so sweet and so maternal it turned out (and had apologized since a lot for Pierce/Cain, which wasn't her fault even) that Chloe couldn't help but be won over by her. Besides, Eve and Lucifer were ancient history and by the way Maze had her arm around Eve's shoulders, that was a ship that had well and truly sailed.
"I never understood that tradition," Lucifer replied, finishing the carol and standing up. He crossed the room to sit at one of his chairs and now that she knew, it was hard not to see him for what he was. Chloe wasn't sure how she'd failed to see it before-that regal bearing, that otherworldliness. He sat in a regular armchair like it was a throne. "What's the point of buying presents no one actually wants? What? Grab some slinky at a dollar store and have a good laugh when someone else is stuck with it."
"Dude!" Ella exclaimed. "The point is that you don't just have to buy affection. Ooh and the planning for the perfect let down. Once, I had Ricardo thinking I'd got him a PS2 for Navidad and-"
Dan stayed where he was, but he barked back gruffly, interrupting Ella. "Because, Lucifer, the rest of us can't just drop ten grand on something from Tiffany's or on a Rolex and call it a night."
"Yes, well, it's hardly my fault you all share questionable vocations that were never going to pay well."
Chloe groaned. "Maybe we'll do gift exchanges later, okay, Ella?"
Her friend nodded but seemed to smile a bit less brightly after Dan had called her on the carpet. There was something there lately, and Chloe wasn't exactly sure what these days. Still, Ella seemed tense around Dan, and Dan was just snapping at everyone.
"Okay, maybe something else?" Ella said.
"Ooh!" Renee said brightly, squeezing Ella's hand. "I have an idea, paloma. Why don't we do truth or dare?"
Chloe could think of few things she'd rather do with Dan and Lucifer in the mix. She'd way rather get a root canal without anesthesia in point of fact.
Maze rolled her eyes. "Are we twelve?"
"But," Eve interjected, "maybe we could make it fun? Have more stakes?"
Maze's eyes twinkled. "Oh, I get it. Like strip truth or dare, cause I'm in for that. No one here who isn't hot. I mean, even Dan is okay in a pinch."
Chloe shook her head. "No, let's not go that far."
"I dunno, I've seen Luce nude before," Ella added. "That whole nudist colony sting was an eye opener. You really get used to no clothes pretty quickly."
Chloe disagreed on that. She'd seen Lucifer naked a few times because, frankly, he was bad at dress codes and pants and not having assless slacks, but the images were burned deeply into her mind and even now could sneak out in the worst ways at work. Distracting her on cases with him.
"No, I veto the stripping," Chloe said.
"Me too," Renee added.
Chloe decided she liked Ella's date's common sense then and there.
"No way I'm being naked in front of Lucifer," Dan spat.
Lucifer laughed. "Do not flatter yourself. You would be a slow day on Tuesday midmorning when nothing else is available at best, Daniel. At worst, a bad story to try never to think about a few weeks down the line."
Ella stiffened at Lucifer's joke, and Chloe filed that away for later. Sure, her friend had spiraled with her faith being lost, partied too much, but Dan? There was no way Ella would do that. She was pretty professional, and Renee was her first LAPD relationship and one she never even worked directly with. But Dan?
No way...although it would explain a lot of the tension there.
"Anyway, let's truth or dare. If you want to pass on something, you gotta do a shot. If it's a dare you don't want to do, then you have to do double. What's your strongest stuff, Lucifer?" Ella said, establishing the rules.
The Devil stood and walked with a fluid grace that, even now, left Chloe wishing things had gone so very differently this last year. However, he went to his bar and pulled a tall bottle of vodka from his collection. It was a brand she had no familiarity with but the label was in Cyrillic so she assumed it was both imported from Russia and cost more than her rent for a few months.
"Yes, this little beauty will do it," Lucifer said.
He gathered up shot glasses and put them on his table. Chloe, like all the other women around the sofa, leaned forward to take their shot glasses, to accept any liquor if the truth or dare was too horrifying to attempt. Dan muttered under his breath but sat down at the far edge of the sofa on the other side of Eve and got a glass too.
"All right, Lucifer, I'm sure you'll be the emcee for all of this. When aren't you?" Dan groused.
"Actually, I can do it. Not that I don't want a turn too," Ella chirped.
It was hard to say no to her so even Dan, despite his grouchy vibe, seemed to relax a little. Then again, maybe he was relieved Lucifer wouldn't be coming up with everything.
"You keep the rules judged, Ellen," Maze said. "We go around the room. There's no way I'm wasting a good chance to ask Granny Panties Decker some hard truths."
Even though she hadn't been invited, Chloe poured herself a shot and drank it in one go. Lucifer arched an eyebrow at her and whistled. "That's the spirit, Detective!"
"Uh, thanks," Chloe replied.
"Lovely," Lucifer said, settling again and crossing one leg over the other in his seat. "So, who wants to get us started?"
"I will," Eve said. To her left was Ella so the first woman focused her attention on her. "Okay, Ella, truth or dare?"
"Dare, I am up for anything!" She then blanched a little, seeming to realize how that sounded before amending the statement. "Well not anything-anything. No orgies."
"Haha, that's not a thing, right?" Renee asked, genuinely confused, her face scrunched up at her date.
"Not lately. I've slept with Lucifer so many times, it's like by rote now, and it's been a while anyway," Maze said. "And since he and Eve aren't a thing, the weekly orgies stopped here. I wouldn't mind getting a shot in with Decker though. That offer? Open."
Eve nodded. "Could be fun later!"
Dan started coughing on his drink, and Chloe made a mental note never to agree to anything Linda begged her into again. Ever. She also decided to ignore Lucifer's appreciative hum and the tiny-super tiny-pang of curiosity and regret about a night with Eve and Maze. In a different world or set of circumstances, she might have at least picked Maze up somewhere for a night, and then decided it was a terrible drunk mistake once the demon started sharpening her knives over breakfast in the morning.
"Lovely image there, darlings," Lucifer said but then nodded to Renee. "No, I will put the kaibosh alas on orgies. You're far too new for it, and Miss Lopez is like a sister to me. It would be decidedly a terrible time with you both in the mix. But if I get bored enough one night, Mazikeen, perhaps old habits die hard."
Maze gripped Eve a bit tighter. Yeah, Chloe could have called that. Maze might make those statements about her time with Lucifer and literally in Hell, and some parts of Chloe's mind were still having trouble wrapping around the reality of that. However, Maze and Eve's thing was fairly new, and it was clear from her body language the demon wasn't looking to share. Or worse, risk Eve going back to the Devil.
Chloe could understand that. Lucifer, even knowing what she knew, had a gravitational pull about him that one couldn't escape. She wondered if anyone could ever really be over him. She was certain she'd never be, which made being in the penthouse all that much worse of an idea.
"Anyway, my turn first," Ella said. "Eve, dare away!"
The first woman bit her lower lip and thought her idea over. "Ooh, prank call. You have to call your captain."
Ella laughed. "No problem, easy peasy." She pulled out her cell, and the captain must have actually answered on the second ring. Ella must have dialed something to block the caller i.d., since she exaggerated a Mexican accent and asked the captain if he had "I.P. Freely at his house."
She hung up right after. and Renee chuckled politely while Ella and Lucifer busted up like the goofballs they were.
Dan rolled his eyes, and Maze sighed. "See middle school shit," the demon said.
"I can do better," Ella supplied. "Maze, truth or dare?"
"Truth, should be interesting."
"So, you're a 'demon,'" Ella said, making air quotes with her fingers. Chloe winced internally a little. To be fair, about half the party were convinced that Lucifer was a method actor, but it still felt shitty sometimes to be hiding so much from Dan and Ella, even now. "How many people have you killed?"
Ella and her date both laughed, and Chloe tensed up. Whatever answer Maze gave would be a real body count, not that half the people in the room would know it.
"I don't know," Maze replied honestly. "Technically damned souls are already dead, but I've done things on earth when Lucifer needed it."
"Wet works are fairly rare in my line of work," Lucifer qualified. "However, sometimes Mazikeen does go freelance."
"I'd say a few hundred, depending on if you total up that time I had a ball around the Civil War here. There were some definite throats needed slitting on the battlefield. Happy to fuck around then."
Ella laughed so hard she's doubled over. "God, I don't know how you and Luce do it. You two never break character. It's amazing!"
"Because I'm a demon, Ellen."
Renee chuckled too. "You're right, paloma, never seen two actors more dedicated. In this town, that's saying a lot."
Maze rolled her eyes. "I'm the toughest of the Lilim. It's real."
"You're very tough, sweetie," Eve said, kissing her girlfriend. "Okay, so Maze, who are you gonna ask?"
"Easy, Decker-you're up!"
Chloe paled, looked to Lucifer, and then quickly back at Maze. If she finally asked about that one dream... "Uh, dare."
Dare had to be better. She would not tell anyone about her horn fetish. Ever.
Maze smirked. "You know, Lucifer has a hot tub, so why don't you just re-enact your claim to fame."
Chloe wanted to kill Maze right there and groaned when she realized that wasn't something she could manage on an actual demon. "Are you kidding?"
"Maze what the Hell? That's the mother of my child!" Dan objected.
"That's kind of limiting," Eve said. "It's so out of date to refer to a woman as how she relates to a man and as his property, trust me."
Ella nodded and fist bumped her. "Right on! Dan, that was bullshit."
"Fine," he huffed. "Chloe isn't doing it."
Lucifer grinned like the cat who'd eaten the canary. She could tell his heart wasn't completely in it. The expression lacked the detached, jaded edge it used to have when she'd first met him, and he'd tried to get her to sleep with him just to "get it out of his system." It hurt her heart to see it more than if Lucifer were being completely honest with himself. It hurt in a way that he just...that neither of them could ever quite move on and just be truly casual with the other. That there were mountains between them, and her stunt in Rome had put them there.
"I pass, Maze."
"I knew you'd bail, Decker. It would have been too interesting." She nodded to the vodka bottle. "Two shots, Lucifer, pour 'em out."
Chloe rolled her eyes. She was terrible at holding her liquor and her two glasses of wine and her first vodka shot already had her buzzed. Still, she was not in any universe doing a hot tub high school reprise. Lucifer poured the shot as demanded by Maze, some weird power game of theirs, she'd noted. When Maze and Lucifer were together, he always poured her drinks and never the other way around. Her work partner handed her the tumbler glass and one, long finger grazed her own. She flashed back to the balcony after they'd cracked that case of Charlotte's, finished the sting. He'd tried to warn her, and she hadn't understood.
She'd promised him then and then in that alley the next day he wasn't a monster to her, and now...
It was just...his other face was so horrifying. She desperately wanted to get past it, even now, but wanting something and being able to do it were very different things.
And yet, when they even got this close-which was so painfully rare now-it felt like everything possible was between them still.
"For you, Detective," he said, pulling away far too soon.
She took the shot and then the second, and by now her head was definitely spinning.
"Okay, so Decker passed, but she gets to ask next," Maze declared. "Pick your victim, Granny Panties."
She looked around the room. There were so many things she could do, questions she could ask. Something polite and innocuous for Renee to include her. Maybe something to Dan and hope he'd take truth so she could get a clear answer about why he was avoiding their daughter. With Lucifer, maybe, she could finally get the most important answer of all, know if there was a chance left for them and since it was him there would be nothing but truth in his answer. Or maybe she could...could she dare him to kiss her?
Would she ever be that bold?
No, of course not. Maze's nickname wasn't unearned. She wasn't audacious like that, never would be.
She turned to Renee instead. "So, truth or dare?"
The tech smiled and pushed a strand of highlighted hair back from her face. "Ooh, truth!"
She grinned between Ella and her date. "What was the thing that made you say yes to hitting things off with Ella?"
"Size matters," Renee said coyly.
Ella laughed, and Dan choked on his drink again. Lucifer murmured something about Ella being a cheeky minx. Maze was already shouting about needing to know where Ella bought her strap-ons.
Chloe was definitely going to upgrade her to do list from never agree to things with Linda to get revenge on Linda.
"Dudes, no!" Ella admitted. "She loves Trek too, and I have this great signed merch collection."
Renee nodded. "She's being modest. Ella has collectibles I thought were just legends. It's amazing. How could I have turned her down after that?"
Dan's color started coming back, and Lucifer made an exaggerated pout.
"Miss Lopez, I had been so impressed, and now, well, I suppose it's best not to know too many details about my surrogate little sister."
Then, Ella winked at him and nodded to Maze. "I can get you details on where I shop for stuff later though, Maze."
Lucifer laughed. "That's the Miss Lopez I know and adore."
"I'm in Hell," Dan muttered. "This is Hell."
Chloe agreed. Never invite Hell's best torturer and the Devil to truth or dare. It was a veritable nightmare.
Renee took her turn to look toward Dan. "Okay, I get all these just get over it already vibes from you. All that posturing and anger is no good for you. So, truth or dare, menso?"
"Dare," Dan said super-fast. Chloe filed that away too. Yup, her ex was hiding something, and she normally wouldn't care but what was eating at him lately was affecting his relationship with Trix, and that was really worrying her. "Hit me."
Ella leaned over and the two whispered together. It turned into giggles, and it was adorable to be honest. After the year Ella had suffered through after Charlotte's death and her lost faith, well, Chloe was glad to see someone happy. It was nice too that Eve and Maze seemed to be a good-if super demonstrative-couple. Some people in their circle should be happy. Just, apparently, it wasn't gonna be her for now.
If ever.
Finally, Renee decided on a good answer it seemed, and she looked back at Dan. "I dare you to kiss Lucifer."
"Hell no!"
"I do object. I haven't enough mouth wash to get the taste of douche out of my mouth," Lucifer huffed.
Chloe knew Lucifer was far from selective. She'd questioned ninety of his previous partners (all in the same month and a slow one for him apparently. He'd lamented that a lot back then). However, by now, Dan and Lucifer had such issues with each other kissing was off the table even as a game. After all, between Dan blaming Lucifer for Charlotte's loss because Lucifer hadn't been clear about Pierce's Sinnerman status, and Lucifer seemingly tired of Dan and his daily insults,it wasn't a dare that was going to go well.
"Oh, come on Dan. It's not gonna kill you," Maze said. "Honestly, Lucifer's a good kisser. He does this thing-"
Dan stood and grabbed his jacket. "Nope, no. This is dumb. This whole night is bullshit. I'm going home."
"Actually, you promised to stop by my place tonight after this. It's your weekend with Trix." Chloe reminded him, as she had at least five times that day at work.
Dan froze and looked suddenly like kissing Lucifer would be on top of his list, at least above seeing Trixie. "I...can I do next week?"
"Next week is New Year's week. We were trading off because you have the weekend before Christmas with her since I have actual Christmas day. This matters to her. She is so excited to give her gifts to you."
"Chlo, I..."
She stood and, needing the extra courage, grabbed a shot and then a second of vodka. Her head was on a tilt-a-whirl now, but she needed something to steel her to finally get all of Dan's avoiding shit out in the air. "Balcony, now, Dan. I'll put up with a lot, but you are not ruining Trixie's Christmas."
"Tell 'em, Decker!" Maze said.
Ella and her date stood. "Huh, I think maybe we overstayed our welcome. Renee, wanna go dance?"
Lucifer, always the consummate host, stood and nodded to the elevator. "My lovely sapphics, let me take you downstairs and get you situated in the VIP section. All the drinks on me, of course."
"Only top shelf, you know," Maze replied. "That's the deal."
Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her, but Chloe was grateful they didn't go red. The instincts she couldn't fight, the caveman part of her brain that recoiled from what Lucifer actually was…she wasn't yet over it all yet. She wanted to be-how desperately did she want to be-but Chloe sometimes feared it was something she might never do.
"Mazikeen," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "We're going now."
And like a switch flipped, Maze shut up and trailed out to the elevator without another word. Eve, Ella, and Renee filtered behind her with Lucifer taking up the rear. Chloe took in a shuddering breath and walked to the balcony, opening it wide so Dan could follow, and then slammed it shut behind them both.
"All right, this is enough. What the Hell is wrong with you, Dan?"
He started to pace. "Oh, I'm the butt of a joke or dare or whatever, and it's somehow my fault?"
She set her hands on her hips and looked at him sternly. "Renee didn't know better. Everyone has a few drinks in them, and she was just doing a silly dare. You refuse and take an extra shot or two. It's not personal."
And honestly, a few drinks was beginning to be an understatement for her. She'd never been good at holding her liquor and four (or was it five) shots of vodka weren't exactly playing well with her either.
"And all of you just keep pushing. I don't even know why we have to hang out with Lucifer. We see him hours on end at work. Great, so then we go and have to lap it all up at his rich guy penthouse and-"
"Is this a jealousy thing? Because you know he and I are only work partners. You get that, right?" That hurt to admit, but it was true. After everything she'd messed up and, honestly, Lucifer lying by omission…it didn't matter what she wanted.
"It's a Lucifer poisons everything he touches thing. We have to keep humoring him and dealing with him, and I'm tired of it."
She nodded. "If this is about Tiernan's men…no one ever figured out why they came here. Yeah, Tiernan figured out about his son being hurt and assumed things about another business owner in the city, but that kind of thing hasn't happened in months. This isn't a dangerous place, and it was a fluke-"
"You didn't pay attention to Trixie using Uber."
"It would never align like that again. Trixie wouldn't get a ride share over again, and there won't be wet works monsters coming here to hurt someone else. It was terrifying, but she's safe, and the worst did not happen."
Dan shook his head. "Why do you always defend him? For a few months after you got back from Rome, it was like you finally got what a piece of shit he is. And now…I just don't get it. He has so many of you guys snowed."
"Dan, that's not the problem we're actually having," she pointed out, trying to keep her voice cool and detached. "Do you know why I'm mad at you?"
"Because Lucifer makes everything warped."
"No, because ever since all that stuff happened here and Trixie almost…after she almost got hurt, you have just shut down. You miss days with her, you could time short, and you're not the father you used to be. I know it was hard. It was terrifying. The ride over here when we figured out what had happened…all of it was just a type of Hell. But she's okay. She's right here, and you pushing her away for months doesn't fix anything."
Dan blew out a hard breath and ran a hand through his hair. "We almost lost her. That damn app and how smart she is and this place that's always got some shit going on."
"Even Lucifer isn't usually the target of assassins. Come on, Dan."
"I know, but Charlotte and…so many things are really his fault. And Trix, yeah, it was so hard. I just can't deal with losing her."
"If you keep pushing her away, you will. She's about to hit those teen years, when it's hard enough to get her to want to hang out with us. You don't want to give her ammo to cut you out, Dan. I…if you're mad at me, then be mad at me. Trixie never did anything, so don't be mad at her."
"She's better off-"
"Don't finish that sentence. Divorce is hard, but I thought we had a system going. For a few years there, we both were spending time with her, but you've just shut down, and I don't know why but you need to deal with it. See a therapist, take some vacation days and get away for perspective, talk to someone if it can't be me, but you have to be the father you were for Trix. You really need to do that. I…I cannot go back to her tonight and break her heart at Christmas."
"Chlo, I just…I can't."
Dan walked past her and to the sliding glass door. She reached for his wrist and held it tightly. "Don't do this. Please. This is the kind of thing that she won't forgive, that she'll remember at twenty or seventy…the time her dad ditched her on Christmas."
"She doesn't need to be around me right now. You're right about one thing. I can't keep my head on straight, and I just…she'll have a better holiday with you." He yanked his arm away from her grasp and disappeared into the penthouse.
Chloe didn't bother following after. Her mind was reeling. After all, she would have to go home soon enough and hold their daughter while she cried for her dad. It wouldn't be the first time since Dan started skipping his days that Chloe had had to do this. Until he got the bug out of his ass or whatever else was bothering him seen to, Chloe knew it wouldn't be the last either.
Sighing, snuck back into the penthouse long enough to grab the bottle of vodka and take long draughts from handle. She was definitely beyond drunk at this point. And it didn't make the frustration or her heartbreak on her monkey's behalf more bearable.
However, she was so out of it, she didn't notice that anyone had come out till a hand was on her shoulder. Chloe startled and dropped the (by now) fairly empty vodka bottle. Lucifer caught it with no issues and set it on a chaise lounge. Then he frowned. Or she was pretty sure he frowned. At this point, there might have been two of him in front of her. And they were blurry.
"Oh, I think I need a minute," she said.
Lucifer nodded and helped lead her to a spare chair. He knelt down next to her. "Detective, I noticed Daniel storm out of here. I assume he will not be heading directly over to spend time with the Urchin and relieve the sitter?"
"No. He's…he's being an ass."
"Yes, well, that seems to be his default position," Lucifer huffed. She laughed despite everything. It didn't make any damn sense. The literal, Biblical Devil was beside her and mocking her ex-husband. Why? Why on Earth was he so devoted to spending time with her, of all people? "However, I sussed out that might be the case. I've seen Maze and Eve to spend time with Beatrice instead. Not exactly hard to get that request across. Was a far sight harder to keep Mazikeen from gutting the Douche."
Chloe blanched at him and, despite everything she wished she could be, she still failed and shook like a leaf. The jokes were one thing when she just thought Maze was a psychotic bodyguard/lover. It was different to know that the Devil had just called off his best torturer to keep Dan in one piece.
It was horrifying.
Lucifer noticed the shift in her mood and stood. In fact, he took a few steps back from the chair and held his hands out placatingly. "Detective, I'd never let harm come to anyone you care about, which alas, at least for Beatrice's sake has to include the Douche. Maze also is rather fond of him as a friend, but she's almost as livid about his lack of attention to the spawn of late as you are."
"I thought…I'd hoped only I was noticing. I didn't even want Trixie too," she croaked out.
"Yes, well, I know things with him…he's been irate with me since Charlotte, but he's been even more backbiting and cruel after everything in my humble abode and with Tiernan's ruffians. I'm sorry this hurts the Urchin so. It grieves me that it grieves you too."
"Why do you care so much?" she asked, too upset and too drunk to dance around things politely the way she had for months on end at work.
Lucifer blinked at her. "Have you been hit on the head recently, Detective?"
"No, but I do miss the vodka, give it over."
He shook his head and held the handle in both hands. "I think not. You've never been any great shakes at holding your liquor. Am I right that after Daniel left, you indulged in quite a bit more?"
"Maybe, and I don't care if there are three of you, and you're spinning, I'll take it back."
"Please do not, Detective," he replied, sitting down in a chair near her. And, like always, he sat on it as if he were perched on a throne. That regality and Celestial nature, he couldn't really hide and had never bothered to. "Do you wish to talk about it?"
"I want to keep playing truth or dare."
Her words confused even her. They hadn't been expected, but, then again, she was three sheets or more to the wind. Her id was clearly driving right now, and her id wanted answers for once.
"I hardly think that's a brilliant idea."
"No dares, then."
"Yes, well, you haven't the coordination to do the most simple of challenges anyway," he conceded.
"Then just truth for once, Lucifer."
He sat up straighter and picked lint that didn't exist from his immaculate blaze cuffs. "I always tell the truth. Point of pride, Detective."
"Yeah, but you tell the truth and then expect us not to believe it."
"You're still rather cross, aren't you? After all this time, after over a year of knowing who I really am…you still assume I lied to you."
"No, but I thought of 'I'm the Devil' as a metaphor or a delusion."
Lucifer huffed. "Yet you needed the eggs and let me be your partner-still do-because I was good at getting the evidence and confessions you needed. Admit it, for a while you had qualms. You knew I wasn't truly mortal. You did shoot me after all," he replied. "That bullet made quite a lovely necklace, I'll have you know."
She reached for her throat automatically. It had been her favorite gift she'd ever received, but after getting so serious with Pierce (that utter fucking creep), she'd taken the necklace off. It looked wrong to be engaged to another man yet wearing the gift of another. But after Pierce, she'd know, and there was no way Chloe could just keep that around her neck either. Would it damn her? She didn't think it would, but she didn't even know all the rules, and Father Kinley had lied over and over to get her to hurt Lucifer.
She just didn't have a clue.
"It did."
"But I am the Devil, and I have told you as much."
"But you knew I didn't believe it, no more than Dan or Ella do now. You must have found it hysterical for me to twist myself into knots or to keep assuming you were using some weird metaphor that you and Linda were doing in therapy to work through your issues."
"Alas, my father is all powerful and I wish that were not true."
She sighed and looked down at her hands. "Well, we know that now. Or I do. I…why me?"
Lucifer frowned at her. "Beg pardon. I don't think I understand."
"Why did you…at least for a while…why did you fall in love with me. I meant what I said when I cried here, when-"
"You could hardly stand the sight of my other face?" he asked. Lucifer had been trying to keep his tone light; she knew him well enough to know when he was going for bitter and cutting, but this wasn't how he actually sounded.
No.
He sounded so wounded that a literal eternity couldn't repair the cracks in his heart.
"I want to get past it. I really do."
Lucifer sighed. "You're only human, Detective. It's understandable. A fear of me is instinctual for you all."
"But Linda and Eve know. They're not scared of you."
"They're different. Our relationships are different. Linda is my therapist, and Eve now is a dear friend. Besides, she met me eons ago in the Garden. She was never confused on who I was, though I was not Devilish whilst frolicking with her then either."
Chloe nodded. That actually made a bit more sense on how he wooed her away for a while from Adam. Otherwise, he had to have scared Eve off, like he did with her. Hadn't he?
"But I want to be better. I just…it's scary."
Lucifer sighed and scrubbed at his thick afternoon shadow. "Yes, well I am scary. Again, as I used to believe it, that's how Father wanted it. On the other hand, Amenadiel has a theory on angels self-actualizing that I've come to subscribe to since everything at the loft. I…I do believe a deep sense of guilt has given me this face." Lucifer laughed, but there was no joy in it, just brokenness. It chilled her to hear it. "In point of fact, a sense of guilt and self-hatred has given me more than I had bargained for."
"I don't understand."
"Detective, it's been a long night. You've had a row with your Douche, and though Beatrice always has a lovely time with Maze-"
"My walls don't. Always knife holes in them when I get back."
"Well, she is Mazikeen. Your spawn is being well trained."
She laughed genuinely then. Her life was sometimes too bizarre not to. "But what do you mean you have more now and, also, why me? I meant it. I'm just Chloe. I'm a nobody, a regular human, and you're literally older than the planet and have seen probably everything."
"Not as much as you'd think spending most of my time running Hell. That place is very same-y. But, yes, I've seen different epochs in your history, at least for a few days or a week at a time. However long I was granted reprieve until Amenadiel or sometimes even Michael came to herd me home."
She wrapped her mind again around the reality that your meant human history and not just Chloe's personal experiences. Nope, that would never stop blowing her mind. It just wouldn't.
"Then there's nothing about me you could possibly be that interested in. Nothing about just Chloe Jane Decker that stands out."
Lucifer frowned and knelt down before her again. "You didn't believe me on The Cabin case, did you?"
"I…it's so hard. I don't get why you can bleed around me. I don't get why you're affected by me. I don't even understand how you could care about a human. I'm just one of billions and you're an angel."
His expression stiffened. "I am hardly that. You've seen quite the reminder of it in the last year or so."
"Yeah but-"
"And you're hardly ordinary. You're the best human I've ever met, and I've bumped into others over the years: Shakespeare, Wilde, Cleopatra…they all come to mind. I meant it years ago on the beach, I know I don't deserve you, but I can't help but think that you will always deserve someone who truly knows you. Who can see that you try no matter what, that you're driven to get justice for those wronged, that you're so good and kind that your heart breaks for every victim. You're the very best of what Father's project had to offer. You're a wonderful friend and mother and detective, Detective. How could a being not love that?"
She quirked her head at him. "Do you still?"
"Love that about you, yes, of course."
Chloe shook her head. It was the vodka's fault. Tomorrow or later or somehow, she would blame the vodka. "Do you love me? Are you in love with me?"
Lucifer stood and sighed, his shoulders slumped as he did it. "Detective, it's late."
"Are you still in love with me?"
Lucifer twisted the ring on his left hand and sighed. "And what if I am? What bloody good does it do either of us? You've made your feelings quite clear, I've grown rather fond of crime-solving with you, and we both have a stable work partnership again after too many ups and downs of late. It doesn't matter that I do. It changes nothing."
She stood then and ignored her spinning head. "It changes everything. I was afraid you hated me or were just going through the motions because you like just the job."
"Loathe the job. Can't get my head around the boredom of endless paperwork and the coffee there tasted like cigarette butts and somehow of grease. I adore working with you."
She stepped toward him and set a hand on his cheek. "Then, it matters that you love me. I…I love the partner I have. I love somehow the sleazy night club owner I first met. I really do love you."
He stepped away, and she felt the pain sharply at the loss of contact with him. "You love what I had curated for you; you're not wrong about that, Chloe."
She frowned at him. "I want to understand the Devil side more. I can't help that my like lizard brain or caveman side or whatever gets scared. It is scary…you can be scary, but I want to learn to work through it. I'm a cop. I've seen worse, but I just don't want me having some stupid phobia to keep getting between something we both want so badly."
His eyes widened in wonder. "You still care for me?"
"I love you to, but I just…the Devil side is a hard thing to swallow."
Lucifer slumped more and before she could ask why, he rolled his shoulders and huge, bat-like wings unfurled before her. They were massive, so red they almost looked black, and adorned with spikes on top. The wings looked impossibly heavy and dangerous as Hell.
Without realizing it at first, Chloe stepped back on the balcony. She only noticed at all when her back hit the high railing of the veranda, forcing her to stop. "I don't understand. I thought you said that humans made up most things about you."
Lucifer laughed ruefully. "They do. This is like a damn feedback loop, I suspect. If Amenadiel is right, and we do self-actualize, then our own guilt and self-hatred dictate the form."
"So you grew those?" She stopped herself before saying anything about monstrosities, but they were everything even a former atheist like her would have associated with the Devil. "How long?"
Lucifer shook his head and then brought the vodka to his lips, taking a healthy swig. "Too long, but to be precise, around the time of all the Tiernan nonsense. I sent him to the precinct as citizen's arrest, didn't fix it, but I think most of this is because I truly loathed myself after reflecting on breaking Julian's back. It was beyond the pale, and I never should have done such a thing."
She wanted to move, to reach out and touch his shoulder or one of the wings, which bobbed as he breathed, to reassure him. But her mind was warring again: her empathy and profound sadness for his condition fighting against her instincts screaming at her to run. All that ended up in a tie where she couldn't offer comfort, but she was stuck there, trying to at least be there for him.
At least she wasn't crying, and that was a pyrrhic victory at best.
"Yes, but you didn't go further after that, and I understand how you felt after Joan was killed. You haven't gone over the edge on any suspect since. I…you don't deserve this."
He snorted bitterly and the wings moved with every breath. It was terrifying but almost hypnotizing too. "No, but fat lot of good that does with my wing sitch. I can't make them be as they should be. I can't bear to see them, but therapy has hardly helped and being regretful for breaking a mortal's back…it is something I cannot stop."
"Lucifer-"
He shook his head. "I can appreciate that you might love the other sides of me, but this is too big a barrier between us. I hardly can deal with my monstrous side, even before these blasted abominations on my back, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to, either."
She came forward, somehow finding courage. Maybe that was what the vodka had been good for. Still, seeing Lucifer that wounded, that hurt…it tore through something inside of her. He didn't deserve this pain, to feel this alone. And had he and Linda both been hiding this for months?
Did Maze and Eve even know?
"I… you discuss this in session?"
"A bit, but I couldn't make it better, and I grew tired rather quickly of the good doctor asking after them. I try to ignore it all, and yes, I'm aware in my case the Nile is not just a river in Egypt. But I fear dwelling on it might just make the damn things worse or they might yet spread. Don't fancy horns too, believe you me."
Chloe continued inching toward him and tried not to think about that mental picture or the fact that she definitely had a kinky side for horns.
"Is she the only one who knows?"
"Yes. My brother would attempt banal and inhumanly long pep talks. Mazikeen would laugh in my face. I…Eve is a kind woman, but she'd slip and it would all get back to Maze regardless."
Chloe found herself so close to him by then, staring up at him, but chin to chest with him in effect. "You could have told me."
"You hardly would have wanted to know." He spreads his wings and the span of them is hard to understand; they have to be thirty feet across tip to tip if they're an inch. "This is far more hideous than even my face. I…you cannot even being to fathom what an affront these are to true wings. Perhaps another reason I've not mentioned this to Amenadiel. He'd find them as blasphemous as I do."
"I thought you didn't care about your father."
"I don't, not really, but wings are a divine gift. These have been warped to be anything but. I might be far from an angel these days, but the truth of that still stings sharply," he admitted.
She set her hand on his chest, mirroring a bit what had happened on The Cabin set. "I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this alone."
"Detective…how drunk are you? How much did you imbibe?"
She shook her head. "Too much, but for now there is just one of you and you're not spinning, so I think I'm sobering up some."
"You don't have to touch me. I quite understand."
"I don't. I…I do mean it. I miss you. I miss us."
"We never quite made it as a couple, Detective."
"You know what I mean. I miss the flirting and the little touches, the things that always meant more. Now, you're so good at being polite and giving me space and being just work partners, but it's so fucking hollow, Lucifer. I miss the best parts of working side by side. I miss feeling like we almost are always on the same page. For months, it feels like we're not even reading the same book."
He swallows hard and, believe it or not, the wings shook a bit as he did it. "I know, and it grieves me too."
"Then why didn't we just-"
He stepped back and there was barely motion blurring across his face before his eyes were red and his face burned. Chloe startled and backed up, a small, keening noise escaping her throat, despite her best efforts to rein it in.
Lucifer's face fell, and how she could tell with his eyes so red and a face nothing more than burned skin, Chloe wasn't sure. Maybe it was something in the dimness of the eyes to now the jaw going slack. She wasn't sure.
"And this is why I said nothing, Detective. I don't hold your instincts against you. Your humanity is your most beautiful point, but you're human and I'm not, and I was made to scare you."
"Unless it's just self-actualization right? And you're punishing yourself. Lucifer, I know it's hard for me to deal with it."
"With me," he corrected.
A vice squeezed her heart, and Chloe wanted to kick herself over and over for messing this up. "Yeah, with you, but I want to try. I am trying. I'm still here and not running from this balcony."
"Not exactly at ease with it all either."
"I know, but I can learn, Lucifer. I learned that I was wrong about there not being anything after death, and I have managed to rearrange my brain to a having a demon for a friend and an angel for that matter, to working side by side with you."
"The Devil?" He asked bitterly.
"No, my partner." She sighed and started to pace in her own corner of the balcony. "I wish I was more like Eve, believe me. I wish I was even like Linda. My brain has been freaking out for so much more than a few weeks. But I do love you…I just need to get over phobias on this side of you because you're right and either way, red faced or not, you're still you under there."
He shook his head again. "My wings say otherwise."
"One day you can get them back, the ones you'd want, right?"
"I don't know if I want them at all, hardly wish to have them to one day do Father's bidding. I just…I see a monster too, just so you know, but the difference is you get to get away from him."
That broke her then, all that hatred and simmering anger in his voice, and all of it aimed at himself. Despite her fear, despite the pounding of her heart in her chest, Chloe rushed across the balcony and wrapped her arms around his waist as best she could. His shirt for obvious reasons was in tatters, and his wings flared up to make room for her arms, but after a beat, he accepted it, and set his hands on her back.
"You know, you're not quite the hug expert Miss Lopez is, but I missed you very much like this, Detective."
"I know." And she sniffled into his chest. "I don't know where we go from here, but I do love you, and I know I'm not ready for everything…every side, but I want to be, and I think that should count for something, that I'm not leaving."
"No Rome?"
"Never again. I was an idiot in the first place."
"Not really. I had not given you full answers, and you saw something terrifying. I needed to find a better way for you to get your questions answered. Maybe if I'd asked Linda and Amenadiel to track you down, to offer succor. I do not know."
She held him tighter. "I am so sorry."
"And I am too. It was perhaps short sighted to cut you off as I did after everything came to light with Kinley. But, alas, betrayal I am so used to: my parents, my siblings, Maze often as that is a demon's nature…but it mattered when it was you. You weren't supposed to be capable of it."
She pulled away but left a hand on his elbow. "I'm human, and we fuck up a lot."
"So, I've noticed," he replied. She noticed that he rolled his shoulders a few time as they stood there, but he didn't seem able to make the wings disappear for now. Groaning, he just pulled them tightly to his back. "Detective, I don't know what to do. I miss our intimacy too."
She giggled a bit, glad he didn't take the bait he'd given himself.
"Me too."
"But I know I scare you, even now, and that is quite the cross to bear."
She nodded and sighed. "I know that too, but maybe we can start…like exposure therapy? I'm sorry I'm not there yet, but this isn't as scary this time around."
Lucifer nodded and while the wings didn't disappear yet, his face was soon peach and normal again. Eyes brown and hair full as usual too. "Then, would you like to spend the night here. We can talk or I can play piano or we can just watch something. Ooh, I think there's a Bones marathon on."
Chloe laughed. That was what being in Lucifer's life was like. The Devil-massive bat wings and all-was offering to spend time with her to watch a TV show she basically hated because it got everything about police work wrong. However, he adored it, and seeing that relief in his expression, that joy, for the first time in months, it was too much to pass up.
Bones or no Bones.
"Then a terrible cop show date it is then," she agreed heading through the sliding glass door and to the sofa.
"Wait, Detective, did you say what I thought you did?" Lucifer asked as he came back through the door.
"Yes, that's the dare for the night. We have a date, and no Celestial nonsense or evil priests or bodies dropping interrupts it. In fact…" she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and turned it off. If Maze was watching Trixie, her daughter was basically the safest person on the planet until Chloe got home. "…that's better."
Lucifer smirked, despite his stress and his wings, and grabbed his cell from the top of the piano and did likewise, shutting it down. "Then that's just lovely."
He cued up the television, and she kept herself from groaning at the theme song. The things she did for her partnership…for the man she loved.
Chloe nodded to him and curled up on the sofa. It took a few minutes for Lucifer to settled beside her, considering the wings, but he managed and soon, she found herself cuddled up in his embrace.
And when she woke up in the morning, Chloe realized waking up in a wrap of not just arms but also great, red wings was one of the most comforting things that had ever happened to her.