Tell me, Muse, of the (girl) of many ways, who was driven far journeys...

繕う、 守る

Sakura had not put much thought at all into running away.

At just twelve years old, she'd had the startling realization that things in the Village Hidden by Leaves were very seriously not right. The first inkling of this she'd had came when Naruto carried an unconscious Sasuke through the an gates early one morning, the rest of the retrieval squad dragging their weary feet behind. They all were in horrific shape, most limping with their arms looped around one of three Sand nin Sakura recognized from the chuunin exams.

She'd been in plenty dire straits for someone so young and seen her fair share of bloodshed—hell, she'd bled plenty of her own blood in the months since she'd graduated as genin. Unable to parse why she felt so conflicted, she'd initially shrugged it off as shock. The first hours of their return had been hectic, a whirlwind of activity as higher-ranking nin arrived and shuffled the boys off to the hospital or to the Hokage's office, depending on how critical their condition. Sakura had stuck by Naruto's and Sasuke's sides until Lady Fifth's assistant shooed her out of the room to begin work, promising that everything would be just fine.

She did not yet know that this was the last time she would see the boys, her dearest friends in the world, for some time.

It was there in the hospital's waiting room that the gears in her mind began turning with any semblance of conscience. Sasuke had actually done it. He'd left. He'd been willing to be branded a missing nin, a traitor to Konoha, all for the sake of power. But then, she supposed, that wasn't it alone; that power was for a purpose, and sitting there alone in a plastic chair she shivered to recall his words from their first day as Team 7.

My dream is to kill a certain man.

Could that snake freak really promise such a thing, such an incredibly enormous thing, that Sasuke would forsake his home?

But she dove further. His home had left him all alone with the memories of his murdered family, and fleetingly she wondered how he hadn't done something like this before. Naruto, too, had been left with little more than a crappy apartment and his own devices, and hardly anyone cared that he'd been bullied his entire life.

Further still she fell down this rabbithole of thought. Neji had returned with a gaping hole in his stomach, and Chouji was bloated and blue like a corpse that still walked. Kiba and Shikamaru weren't as obviously injured, but their haggard appearances and slow steps spoke volumes. And then there was Sasuke, knocked cold beneath his bruised face, and Naruto, his knuckles split and bloodied, who'd collapsed the moment they'd reached the hospital.

And all of this, for what?

But then a hand was on her shoulder, and in her brain her thoughts were suspended when she glanced up to see Kakashi there. Team 7's sensei had always been a comforting presence, but in an unconventional way that never sat right with Sakura. He liked to say things like It'll be all right, and Don't worry, in such a tone she suspected fake, but then when push came to shove, he'd always gone above and beyond for them and their safety. He was a fierce fighter—downright terrifying, if she were honest—but this day she saw it from a new perspective.

As his eye crinkled in that way that was his smile, she knew then that it wasn't really a smile at all, and never had been. It wasn't that he was fake, but that he had nothing else left inside of him. There was a sadness there too deep for her to comprehend, and beneath his mask she understood that he was just as fragile as she felt, this man who'd risked his life and sacrificed his health, body and mind alike, for the sake of a village that regularly threw its children to the wolves. With a heavy and startling clarity she saw that Kakashi had so favored Sasuke to keep him from ending up like their sensei had, and she fought a wince.

She stood and thanked him for always trying his best to be a comfort to her, despite everything. And she hadn't meant to hurt him, but it was the truth that his attempts had never really sunken in. Now, she had a vague idea why, and as she bid him farewell (her mother has been so worried, you see, so she really should be getting home now that Naruto and Sasuke-kun are back), her heart felt like its own sun in her chest, impossibly heavy and scorching her every step.

It was true, her mother had fussed over her much in the last week. Sakura barely ate and hardly slept, but both of her parents were still working when she returned home. She marched upstairs and pulled a single bag, the one she always brought with her on their overnight missions, and began packing. Methodically she folded her tunics and compression shorts, sports bras and underwear, and as she placed each garment into the bag she repeated over and over to herself her reasons for doing something so incredibly stupid.

Power was the first, and the most obvious. But the power for what?

To make sure this never happens again.

So what never happens again? she asked as she reached into the fridge for her plastic water bottle.

This!

She hated fighting her inner voice, especially when she knew she would just do what it said anyway. But she had to be sure, right? That even though this was about the dumbest thing she'd ever thought to do, that it was still justifiable in whatever ways she could manage.

So no one ends up like Sasuke-kun or Kaka-sensei ever again.

And this will fix that?

Who else is out there offering infinite power to kill certain men?

I don't wanna kill any men, she thought.

Well, if we do this, we can stop certain men from trying to kill each other all the time. We could've been strong enough to stop Sasuke-kun from leaving in the first place!

Yeah, right. But of course Inner Sakura had always been the truest form of Sakura, able to voice all of the things the outward one was far too weak to. Maybe it was the combination of that small seed of doubt planted when the boys returned home, with that soul-crushing feeling she'd had all year that she just wasn't good enough, that she was destined to be nothing more than a burden to those around her. But with every step she took, her confidence solidified more and more.

It was not until she took a sheet of paper and had pen in hand that she realized how badly she was shaking.

Mom and Dad, she wrote as steadily as possible. Got called out on a last-minute C-rank. Nothing crazy, just patrolling the southwestern border near Sand. They're our allies now, so we have a ton of backup if anything goes wrong. Love you both, see you soon.

She read over it once more, knowing it was a feeble cover. No one, except perhaps Ino, would even notice she was gone, and if they did, this was the last thing they'd suspect. She was not known to be an impulsive person, not even to her own self. But when she did not come home within the week, or if her parents spied any of Team 7 around the village in the meantime, they'd alert Kakashi to her disappearance. His nose alone could probably track her scent for miles, and if his failed, the Inuzuka family would take over the search. Besides, the first thing sensei noticed would be the area she mentioned, likely sussing it out as a diversion. She didn't know much about genjutsu, but it was one of the only things for which she'd ever been praised, and she'd do whatever she could to cover her tracks to the best of her novice ability.

She stepped out of her house, giving the area a brief sweep of her eyes. For how her heart beat its frenzy, nothing else was amiss in the village: civilians walked down the main road like normal, chatting and laughing lightly as they always did. The sky was a clear blue and the weather warm, a cool breeze on her skin. She'd never before considered that her talent for being completely unremarkable would ever come in handy, but she knew now no one would look twice at a young girl with a rucksack walking down the street. Still she shook, but closed her eyes and took in a breath.

Get movin'! You think Sasuke-kun was scared at all when he left?

Honestly? Probably, and that was what gave Sakura the final push of strength to steel herself and put one foot in front of the other, making her way down the main road and out of the an gates with only one thing on her mind:

If Orochimaru was expecting Sasuke, how could she convince him to let someone as insignificant as her take his place instead?