Part 1 - Still Alive

Chapter 1

Draco Malfoy trudged through the streets, looking for the food he wanted to buy. He wasn't allowed to apparate anywhere he wanted, because the Ministry had put specific tracking on him, and they had laid out specific places that were the only places he was allowed to apparate at - he didn't want to find out what his punishment would be if he didn't obey. After everything he had done, the once proud Malfoy had had most of his pride stripped away from him - he clung to what little he had left with his life. The Malfoy name was no longer glorified, or even feared. Lucius could no longer use power or intimidation to get what he wanted. Instead, they all had to work for what they wanted, and given what horrendous things their family was now known for, they now had to work twice as hard, and they didn't even end up getting half as far in the end.

Draco scowled and grumbled to himself. It's not fair! We were once so renowned…. We were rich - I guess we still are, but what does it matter now, when we've lost our power and our glory? And for what? Because we allied with the Dark Lord? Well - what would others have done in our situation? He was powerful - it just makes sense! It was for our own protection, even if it didn't end up working out in the end….

Draco stopped dead in his tracks. Something wasn't right. Is it just me? He realized his mind was whirling up a storm. Oh no! It's happening again! He couldn't understand why, but ever since the war ended, he would randomly feel panicked and would see images in his mind - flashbacks of what he had already seen, people getting tortured and murdered. A snake - Nagini - eating the bodies. He would hear screams. It felt so real, and it had been real - it just wasn't anymore. Draco tried shaking it all off. I just want to forget about it all! I want things to be normal again!

He crashed to the ground in his fit - now his mind was full of nothing but blood and screams of terror. But it's not my fault! I didn't do any of this! Make it stop! But the thoughts persisted. Draco was shrieking out loud, himself, but the noises in his mind drowned his own noise out. He didn't know what was happening or how to fix it, but he wanted so desperately for it to stop.

Draco opened his eyes, lying on the street, soaking wet from the rain that had begun falling. How long was I out? Draco wiped the water from his face. He still needed to get his food. I'm almost there…. He continued walking down the street, feeling miserable. He was wet, hungry, and distressed. I hope my parents aren't too worried…. I don't know how long I've already been gone…. He was trying hard not to panic. I just need to focus on what I'm doing.

Once he had gotten the food, the one thing he had on his mind was how he was going to get home. He had to walk all the way back to his designated apparition spot. He sighed. The only thing keeping him going now was the thought of his manor, his parents, and food! His stomach was growling louder than ever. Of course, ever since the Malfoys had lost all their wands, they had to do things, like cooking, the muggle way, because they could no longer use magic. Draco grumbled, Magic makes things so much easier. I hate not being able to use it!

Suddenly, he heard a loud CRACK that sounded like it was behind him. He jumped, Who's there? His heart was beating rapidly, and he felt himself growing hotter, despite having been cold and wet. He couldn't see anyone. This is stupid, why am I so afraid? He tried to calm himself down and kept walking. No one is there… he was telling himself repeatedly, but then he heard someone yell, "Petrificus Totalus!" and a split second later felt his whole body freeze up and fall over. With no control in any of his limbs, all the boxes of food he was carrying flew from his grasp, as he collapsed into the street once more. Pain coursed through him as he hit the concrete.

His heart was beating so rapidly he thought it might burst from him. He could feel the rain pattering hard onto his back. He was confused, and he couldn't see what was happening, but he heard what he recognized as footsteps approaching.

"So…" a voice said, and Draco felt his invisible binds being released. "Look at me, now." The voice commanded. Draco did what he said. A man who looked to be around his own age was standing in front of him. His piercing blue eyes stood out against the gray sky. "Do you know who I am?" Draco shook his head - he had no idea who he was, but he didn't look too pleased to see him. "You - were a Death Eater - one who was never punished…. My dad was killed in a battle with Death Eaters!"

It happened so fast - Draco felt himself being pelted with a storm of spells, each one piercing him like a knife. He kept slamming harder and harder into the pavement. The last thing he heard was, "This is the punishment I'm giving you!" Then everything grew still and silent, except for the sound of the raindrops, which were still splattering onto him - it didn't even make a difference, as he was already so wet and covered in mud, and now blood. Whimpering slightly, he struggled to get back onto his feet. He found his boxes of food half buried in mud, but at least the food inside was probably still fine.

Whimpering and stumbling, he found his way back to his apparition point and used it to get back to Malfoy Manor. Home… sweet home….

The once blossoming flower garden bloomed no more. His mother never planted any new flowers or maintained the garden while there were Death Eaters in the house. There had been much more important things to worry about then. She still hadn't done anything since the war had ended - she just wasn't completely the same, anymore, and didn't feel like going outside to garden. Now there was just mud swirling around where the flowers once were.

Draco opened the door and stepped inside the manor, mud dripping all over the floor. "Draco?" his mother called and came around the corner. "Draco! Are you okay? What happened?" She grabbed the boxes of food from him and set them on a table in the drawing room, then quickly hurried back over to him. She wrapped her arms around him and helped him over to a couch in the living room, nevermind that he was dripping with mud. "You're bleeding," Narcissa exclaimed. "Tell me what happened."

"Well - first, I just… fell." Draco didn't know exactly how to explain what had happened. "It was weird - I couldn't control it. I was seeing things... that weren't actually there - they were just - in my mind…." Narcissa nodded. "Then - when I was walking back, I was attacked - by a person who was upset that I had been a Death Eater…. He said - he said... that he was punishing me…." Draco refrained from telling her about what the guy had said about his father's death.

Narcissa gasped, "How could anyone do such a horrible thing!" She threw her arms around him again. "Would you like me to get you a towel?" Draco nodded. Narcissa stood up and left the room, coming back a minute later with a towel. She tossed it onto him, and he could feel that it was nice and warm as he wrapped it around himself. "You don't need to worry about making dinner. I have that covered, and you just need to rest." Draco hadn't even realized until now just how empty his stomach was. "Your father will be home soon." Lucius had gotten out of being sent back to Azkaban by giving information to the Ministry on other Death Eaters who hadn't been caught. Because of the information he gave, they did end up being caught in the end, but Lucius still got a punishment of being sentenced to doing community service work.

At least he's not back in Azkaban.

When Draco heard the door open and a voice grumbling about how annoying it was to work around muggles and do things how they do it, he knew Lucius was home. "Hey, who tracked in all this mud?"

"Something happened to Draco," Narcissa said.

"What do you mean? What happened?" There was obvious panic in his voice.

"He's fine now," Narcissa reassured him. "You can go and talk to him. He's in the living room."

Lucius walked into the room, "So this is where all the mud came from…."

"Sorry…" Draco said.

"Nevermind that…. We can clean it… even if we have to do it the muggle way…." He rolled his eyes. "But… what happened to you?"

"I was attacked. A person was mad about me being a Death Eater who wasn't punished, so he did this to me." Draco explained, but he didn't feel like telling him about the first part of the story, when he fell down on his own. If it was important for him to know, Narcissa would tell him.

Lucius's eyes grew wide, "That's horrendous! How dare someone hurt my son?"

Narcissa walked in with a tray, "Here's your dinner." She handed it to Draco.

"Thanks," he was starving. He dug in, and his parents left the room, Lucius still muttering in anger. Something was still floating in Draco's mind, "My dad was killed in a battle with Death Eaters!" Draco gulped down his water. Why should it matter to me? I wasn't the one who killed him.