First thing first, J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter and I do not own Kidding with Mary Sue.

Second, I'm NOT the author of this fanfic. This fic is originally in Chinese, I contacted the author and I was granted to translate it for the purpose of sharing with the English-speaking community. The translation was corporate by me and my friend Chen. (Original work is called "和玛丽苏开玩笑", which can be found on the Chinese website "jjwxc" by 打酱油而已)

Third, the original work is still IN PROGRESS, I too am waiting for the updates of this fic. The author did promise to finish it with a happy ending. By the way, there is no pairing for the main characters... yet.

This fic is a PARODY. It can be categorized as a modern AU with a background setting around the 2010s according to the content, though the time setting doesn't do much impact and the exact time was not mentioned by the author. It takes place after Harry's first year at Hogwarts, starting with a brief description of Ginny's childhood in the first few chapters then into Ginny's first year.

What if our main character of Kidding with Mary Sue, Ginny Weasley, had a Mary Sue twin sister? Her sister, the OC of this fic, is a Mary Sue. If you're not familiar with this term it means a type of character (most likely female) who is depicted as unrealistically lacking in flaws or weaknesses, and usually liked by every other character in the book. The author's purpose is to view Mary Sue characters from an outsider's, which is Ginny's in this fic, point of view. However, this is not the only purpose or the main message of this fic.

Because of the special setting and the main tone of this fic, half of the characters are going to be a bit OOC, but I promise no bashing on any character or any house.

"To be honest, I'm not against Mary Sue. Actually, I'm not against anything. I approve of everything. Because if something exists, there must be a reason. Things wouldn't be made without a purpose. Therefore, existing is meaning." -Quote from Kidding with Mary Sue.

Now, let the story begin. Enjoy and review!

-Ye

Eggs and Kiwi

The scariest story that Ginny has ever heard was from Ron, on a summer night long long ago.

A pile of eggs is chatting, the first egg said to the second, "Look, the last egg has long hair!" The second said to the third, "Look, the last egg has long hair." Then the third said to the fourth, the fourth said to the fifth, the fifth went ahead and asked, "Hey, why the long hair?" The last egg roared, "I'm a goddamn kiwi!"

Everyone told Ron that the joke was so cold that made them shudder with cold sweat on the forehead. Only Ginny was secretly alarmed, noted in her head that Ron is truly a wise man, otherwise why he could hit the nail on the head, target at the nightmare in Ginny's whole life.

Every evening, Ginny would have a nightmare where someone is pursuing her, she keeps on running and running, until she steps out of the space when she would feel a joint and wake up. Then, absolutely, she will see her twin sister sleeping next to her, which tells her the nightmare won't disappear for now, it will last for years.

Her little sister, Aquamarine Weasley, how horrible this name is!

Every time when talking about the origin of that name, her parents' faces are always beaming with satisfaction.

"Let me tell you guys the story of your birth."

Mother's story has a sentence head, "It was a sunny day, a baby was crying in the ward of St. Mungo's hospital..."

The later part of the story is widely known, the Weasleys finally got their long-expected daughters. It even came with a buy one get one discount, cheap and fine. Mr. Weasley was so happy to hold his little daughter, a name came to his mind like a thunderbolt out of a clear sky.

"Aqua, Aquamarine Weasley."

"Such a beautiful name."

"Yeah, the name just popped up, such a surprise." He laughed, "Molly, I have a hunch, our little daughter will be a great wizard."

Staring at the pink face of the yogi daughter who seemed so hydrated, the mother could not help but gently bit that face.

The little girl seemed to have sensed that someone was holding her, she opened her eyes. That is a pair of eyes with greenish orchid color, with faint emerald light flowing inside. Facing an unfamiliar face, she laughed without fear. The crooked eyebrows and wide smile captured The Weasleys heart at once. She is so lovely.

Actually, the story goes longer, concentrated on the extraordinary points of the little sister. While telling that story, The Weasley would suddenly become literary and eloquent, they would use tons of shocking rhetoric to describe her. Joy is overflowing among the whole family, Ginny is also putting joy on her face, but secretly questioning, didn't she say she will talk about the story about the birth of "you guys"? Where is me?

After a while she came round to the idea, she is in the "guys".

As the saying goes, the winner takes it all, the loser has to fall. If you have a young sister, who loves to listen to the periodic table at one-month-old age, clamors to listen to Das Kapital at three-month-old age, speaks English, Russian, Japanese, French, Chinese, Germany, Italian, and Spanish fluently at one-year-old age, with deep attainment on Latin, you will feel appearing in "guys" is a great honor. At least there is a place for you, much better than "the fall".

Ginny was supposed to be content, but she was ungrateful. The psychological balance broke just a little bit, falling into a slight illness-mirror phobia.

When Ginny was a child, one day her mother announced at the dinner table that she is gonna take the youngest daughter to Diagon Alley. All the brothers peeved and clamored for joining. Hearing the kids' responses, the mother proudly pulled out a sheaf of parchment.

"Aquamarine painted these, we are going to see if we can earn some money."

Everybody passed around the design and was amazed by it.

A few hours later, her parents came home loaded. Dad couldn't wait to tell the youngest daughter's extraordinary performance at Twilfitt and Tatting's. Mum pulled out presents from her pocket for every member of the family. Ginny still remembered that she received a new dress, her little sister handed to her in person. She did not dare to take it but stared blankly at the genius who owns the same face as her until the genius smiled and threw the dress over her shoulder. Ginny shrank, sprung to her feet, rushed into the bathroom, filled a basin of water, and buried her face in it.

Drown yourself drown yourself drown yourself, drown yourself so you do not need to see that smile again.

That splendiferous, content, proud, smashing smile; and above all, a little contempt, like a joke. The smile said, as long as I am happy, you guys will have good days ahead.

Ginny did not successfully drown herself in the end because George wanted to use the bathroom and turn her out. However, the moment she got up, she felt dizzy, and suddenly she recalled something.

I remember I wasn't a twin!

This thought of hers, as menacingly as the name which entered Arthur's head on that sunny day a few years ago seized Ginny and refused to let her go.

I remember... I think I remember...

Ginny thought she remembered something, but this tiny clue is just like a puppy, running around her, teasing her, and when she actually wanted to touch it, it would run away and disappear, only leaving her with a slight mystery. She is afraid of looking in the mirror, she could not stand any reflection of herself.

It was only when she heard Ron's story that she got this clue back. Puppies are born by dogs, kittens are born by cats, kiwis can not hatch from eggs! It is not an elegant deduction, but not crude either. Who the hell is sitting there claiming to be my sister?

For sure she is pretty and clever, but those are not exactly reasons for people's love. Ginny gradually discovered that most people will like and appreciate her naturally just by getting close to her and circled her without knowing it.

For example, when Bill held her, his face showed no affection but a drowsy, drunken dream kind expression. For Ginny, being too close to her sister meant a bout of dizziness.

The drunken dream and dizziness make Ginny terrified, the scariest thing was that everyone let out an incredible gasp while looking at her sister's design, but Ginny only saw a child's doodle.

Is it just me or there's something wrong with all of their eyes?

Ginny was afraid that it's just her.

She grew up dizzy and a little bit scared. Afraid to eat kiwis since then.

Many, many years later, when Ginny felt dizzy, her mind always flew back to that midsummer night, although she could not remember who sat beside her, or whether they had dessert or not, there was just one clear voice.

"I'm a goddamn kiwi!"