The Fallen

Summary – Peeta Mellark is the Winner of the 74th Hunger Games after Katniss Everdeen sacrifices herself to save his life. He soon finds himself in the middle of the rebellion as their beacon of hope, their Mockingjay. But as Peeta will soon discover, not all fallen tributes stay dead.

Disclaimer: These are all Suzanne Collin's toys. They're just in my playground.

A/N: Hello everyone. Welcome to my story The Fallen. This is my very first attempt at writing a Hunger Games fic. In fact, its been quite some time since I've written any fanfiction at all, I think my last one was around 4 years ago.

I started writing this little number about 3 years ago, long before we were treated to the amazing prequel, which I very much enjoyed by the way. I got this idea stuck in my head and I had this strong urge to write it out, this is completely uninfluenced by anything written in the prequel.

I'm at a stage in my life where everything is so very chaotic and due to my last few fics taking such a long while to finish (because, well, life) I vowed not to post any of this until it was near complete. Boy, was I right to hold off. Even though I had a solid outline of how I wanted the plot to go (which has pretty much remained the same) every time I came back to it I found it hard to move forward as I had to re-read through everything again checking for consistencies with my new chapters and then I was forever editing or tweaking what I'd already done. I'm pretty sure I fixed it all, but if I've missed anything, I do apologise it's been tweaked that much and I don't tend to use a beta.

So when we were hit with the Covid19 lockdown, many of us had a lot more time on our hands. This story came back to me it started flowing again and I'm probably 3 quarters of the way through now so I shouldn't have any issues with posting as frequently as I can.

Now, for the especially important part of this authors note as this story comes with a mature warning and a trigger warning:

WARNING: This fanfic is for a more mature audience as the story covers scenes about rape, abuse and their after effects. I've stayed away from going into any real graphic details but there are sections that may be triggering for some people. I will make be adding a warning on the authors notes of any chapters that I believe may be especially triggering for those who may want to skip over it. There are only a few chapters among the 40+ I have currently written up, that will come with these trigger warnings (the first being in Chapter 16) so I promise it won't feel like I'm bashing you over the head with it.

Having said that, if these topics do offend or upset you I recommend that this might not be the story for you and I insist that you stop reading if you are feeling affected by it in any way. I promise that these triggering scenes are not written for any gratuitous violence, sex or shock value, it's all in keeping with the story. I've treated it with the upmost respect and sensitivity to the very best of my understanding on the subject. Apologies in advance if anyone feels that it is in any way inaccurate or disrespectful. That is not my intention at all so if you have any concerns at all please feel free to PM me and I can take your notes on board.

Anyway. Please show me some love if you like my story, throw some constructive criticism my way if you don't, but most importantly I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

I was blinded by the lights of the studio, the roaring cheers of the audience echoed in my ears and yet the sounds and the sights all seemed so far away. They were celebrating a victory, my victory. I should be grateful to be here, thankful to be alive. Anyone else would be after what I just endured but I couldn't, I felt empty. Hollow. She was dead. She was dead because of me.

Caesar Flickerman hushed the audience and sat in the chair besides mine on the stage. He was silent for a moment waiting for the audience to settle and I noticed how he was watching me with a hungry gleam in his eye, I could almost see the cogs turning as he internally worked out how he would spin this interview. "Peeta Mellark, the victor of the 74th Hunger Games," he said finally, this wasn't an exclamation for an applause but was stated as a fact, "how do you feel?" he asked

Now there was a loaded question. How did I feel? Heartbroken, exhausted, angry, devastated. But mostly angry. I didn't say that, instead I said, "I shouldn't be the one sitting in this chair this evening, Caesar."

"Who should be sitting there instead if not you?" he asked as if he didn't already know who I was talking about. He was wanting me to tell the audience, it would get a better reaction I suppose. Caesar didn't get to be the host of the Hunger Games for over 35 years for nothing, but I was too tired to play this game.

"I think you already know the answer to that, Caesar," I say softly, shifting uncomfortably. I haven't been able to properly look him in the eyes or look up at the audience or cameras once.

After experiencing the arena first-hand, the people around me seemed even more barbaric than before. It baffled me how could they allow the Games to continue? Not just allow it but also celebrate it in such extravagant ways. They were celebrating child murder. Her murder.

"Are you talking about our Girl on Fire, Miss Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes," I nodded, "she was supposed to win this. She was supposed to live." I felt that anger bubbling up within me yet again it was such a foreign feeling to me. I've been angry at plenty of things in my past, but this was completely different to anything I've ever felt before. It was unyielding, like a fire raging within me and it took everything I had to try to contain it. I paused. I would not lose my temper here.

I have kept my calm throughout this whole nightmare ordeal and I wasn't going to stop now, but this time, I would not play up to the cameras, there was no need for that anymore I had already won, if you could call this winning. I had made a promise to both myself and Katniss that I would not lose who I am being a part of the games, I would not be a pawn. It was a mantra I kept repeating to myself while I was in the arena and I'm finding that I'm needing to repeat it more and more ever since I got out.

But there was more risk to it than that. Being in the Capitol had given me a glimpse into this world and I knew that they'd make me regret anything I might say live on air that they wouldn't approve of. President Snow ruled with an iron grip, anything he couldn't keep in line wouldn't be tolerated. I could see that much.

Caesar had waited for me to continue. After a beat I regained my composure and continued, "I'm sorry, I'm still struggling to accept my reality right now." I said to explain my momentary silence, "From the very beginning I had planned to die in the arena so I could get her back home to her sister." I turned to look directly into the camera for the first time since I appeared on stage, "Prim, if you're watching, I'm so sorry, I tried to get her home to you. I promise I will look after you and make sure that you and your mom are provided for. Katniss is the only reason I'm still here, I can't ever repay that debt, but I can do this for her at least,"

"Let's take you back to that announcement made in the arena," Caesar quickly changed the subject which made me think I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't care, "when it was announced that there could be two victors from the same District, did you think that you and Katniss would make it out together?"

"We hoped so. I mean we we're counting on it" I said, "I think that both of us believed that we would be the first couple to win the Games, but then Cato…" the events started playing in my head again, I tried to shut it out, "I guess we were expecting too much of a miracle," inhale, exhale

"If Katniss was still with us and could see this now, what would you say to her?" Caesar was hitting all my sore spots tonight, most likely on purpose and all in the name of 'good' tv.

I think my carefully crafted façade might have finally dropped in that moment and my true feelings must have been on display but this time I didn't care who saw it. "Katniss is Dead," my voice sounded eerily calm.

"Humor us," Caesar appeared to be completely unfazed by my comment, but I was pretty sure he knew he was crossing a line with me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the tears. I will not cry for these people, my grief is mine alone and I will not share it with the rest of Panem. But I guess Snow wants me to give them a show, that's why Caesar is pressing me for this.

"I would tell her…" my voice cracked betraying my emotions, I cleared my throat yet again, "I would tell her that she was stupid, that she should have saved herself to get back to her family." I didn't want to admit this much out loud for the camera's but as soon as I started I couldn't stop, my feelings were like a floodgate. Once unleashed the rest just poured out. Oh Caesar, you are good, "Losing her like that was too much to bear. I would have died for her. I love her. Loved her." I corrected myself. I heard the response from the audience, their 'awws' and sniffling. This isn't just a make-believe tragic love story on the TV, this was real life. These people must convince themselves that none of this is actually real. How else would they be able to live with themselves?

"She died saving your life," Caesar said softly to me and then turned to the audience "Let's take a look at that moment, shall we?" it wasn't a question, he gestures to the big screen behind him as the clip begins to roll.

I didn't want to see it or hear it. It played enough times over and over in my head, in my dreams and every time I closed my eyes. It haunted me. I kept going over all the things that I could have done differently so that she would still be alive right now. I daren't close my eyes on the stage so I looked down at my feet, I tried so hard not to look but the sounds triggered my memory and I began to wonder if it happened exactly how I remembered it? Was it worse? My memory was cloudy that night and I was unconscious for part of it. That part of me needed to know so badly, that my traitorous eyes flicked up to the screen.

In the clip Cato has me in a headlock, my attempts to escape his hold were fruitless as I clawed at his arm around my neck. Katniss drew her arrow and Cato laughs, "Shoot me and he goes down with me!"

The camera zooms in on Katniss's face, you could practically see her mind working trying to figure a way out of this for both of us.

I stopped fighting Cato as I was clearly losing consciousness but in the last few seconds before my world went black, I used my finger to draw an X on Cato's hand. I honestly don't know how my brain was able to formulate a plan of any sort in that condition. I was literally hanging onto my consciousness by a thread, it was probably my survival instinct kicking in.

Cato's smile dropped as Katniss's arrow was already flying towards him. I remembered that my plan of action was to nudge him off the edge of the Cornucopia, but Cato pulled even tighter at my throat in those last few seconds before the arrow pierced his hand. When the arrow hit, he released me with a cry that sounded like a wounded animal and instead of fulfilling my plan, my body went limp and I dropped to the cornucopia like a lifeless doll. The next few moments were a a complete mystery to me so reluctantly I watched the screen to see what happened next, filling in the gaps in my memory of that night.

Cato staggered backwards and almost slipped off the side of the Cornucopia right into the pack of mutts below but he quickly regained his footing. He ripped the arrow from his hand he zeroed in on me ready to drive the arrow through my chest.

Katniss screamed my name, she dropped her bow and lunged for him, the arrow flew out of his hand as she pushed him over the edge but Cato had grabbed Katniss's wrist and she went with him. The mutts instantly surrounded the pair and began to maul at them, Katniss, ever the fighter, thrashed against them trying to escape but her attempts were futile. Cato, however had more mutts on him and he was lost somewhere under the pack, his cries of pain echoed around the arena.

The camera cuts to me on the Cornucopia, I lifted my head slowly and looked around scanning for Katniss, when I didn't see her I jumped up despite the pain I recall was rushing through my entire being and ran to the side where I could hear Cato's screams and the Mutts attacking.

"Katniss!" I screamed, I remember trying to work out how best to jump down without being mauled as well, I wouldn't be able to save anyone if I was instantly taken down too, it was too tempting to jump right into the middle of the pack and try to fight them all off but I had to be smarter about it.

I looked around for anything to use, and saw the bow on the Cornucopia and my eyes fell on the arrow Cato dropped and I grabbed them both. I looked down and quickly analysed the situation. There were too many mutts and only one arrow, the bow was solid steel but it wasn't enough to take any of them out with a blow and I wasn't good enough with a bow to pull off a miracle here.

"Peeta…" I heard a whimper of a voice, the camera panned back to Katniss. She was no longer fighting back now and she wasn't screaming like Cato, Katniss would never give anyone the satisfaction of that, but she was whimpering in pain.

"Katniss! Don't worry, I'll get you out of there" I started to climb down, no longer caring what the mutts would do to me.

"Don't," she croaked, "It's too late," I watched the situation playing out on the screen, I remembered exactly what was going through my mind in that moment. Part of me was lying to myself, I tried convincing myself there was still time to save her, that they could fix her up in the Capitol. But the more rational part of me was amazed she was still breathing; I knew she didn't have long.

"Just survive this," she could see that I was at war with myself, but she gazed up at me, her eyes pleading. Her eyes darted to the bow and arrow in my hand, "Please," she choked out in barely a whimper. I knew instantly what she was asking of me. I didn't know if she understood the weight of what she was asking me to do for her.

"Katniss, no," I wept, "We can win this together," I looked around desperately, hoping something would come to the rescue last minute. They had promised two winners from the same District. I prayed that the people of Capitol who had fallen in love with the "Star-crossed lovers" from District Twelve would step in and do something to help. "Haymitch! Please!" I cried out hoping he'd send her a lifeline

"Peeta," I heard her again, she spoke even fainter this time, she was fading, "It's okay,"

"It's not okay," I fell to my knees, my sobs became uncontrollable, "None of this is okay," I say, but I couldn't see her suffering anymore. This is what she wanted; this would be a mercy. That was the moment my heart shattered into a million pieces. The moment I realised there was nothing I could do to save her. My broken heart was evident for all of Panem to see on the screen.

I ignored the reaction in the audience. To them this was entertainment. For me it was very real, I was reliving my worst nightmare.

My eyes flicked to Cato, he looked dead, but his canon hadn't sounded yet. I wished I had a second arrow for him. Despite his awful character, no one deserved to die like this. I drew the arrow in the bow, archery wasn't my strong suit and my hands shook as I pulled the bow back, I took in a shuddering breath, I couldn't believe I had to do this. She nodded slowly giving me encouragement, assuring me this is what she wanted. I could barely see my aim through my tears.

"I love you." I whispered to her as I sent the bow flying into her chest. Her canon sounded. I threw the bow off the edge and screamed and shouted, again I fell to my knees and punched the Cornucopia repeatedly until my knuckles were broken and bloody. When I was too tired to scream anymore, I was overcome with wracking sobs.

I looked down at my knuckles now and there wasn't even a scar. The capitol fixed me up good and proper when I got out, hid away all the blemishes their cruelty caused. All except for my leg which they couldn't save.

The Peeta on the screen was compelled to take one last look at his beloved. I watched as I crawled over to the edge and noticed that the Mutts weren't bothering with her anymore they had all converged-on Cato. I took a gamble and assumed they wouldn't bother with me now seeing as they practically have their winner. Cato's cannon still hadn't sounded yet but by the looks of it, it wouldn't be long, I was shocked he was still alive at this point, he was a tough bastard. I slid down the side of the Cornucopia. Some of the Mutts looked up at me assessing whether or not they should attack but they turned their attention back to Cato.

I knelt down on the ground beside her and closed her eyelids. I placed a kiss on her cheek, which was shockingly cold, and took her hand in mine. "I have never loved anyone the way that I love you," I told her, "Ever since that first day I saw you when we were five years old I knew then that you were it for me, you stole my heart Katniss Everdeen." I looked at the arrow sticking out of her chest, right next to the Mockingjay pin. I removed it and tucked it into my pocket. I was too scared to look at the damaged that the rest of her body sustained. I gently placed a kiss on her forehead, "Please forgive me" I sobbed

I wasn't sure how much time passed when Cato's canon finally sounded. To me it felt like hours but on the clip it was mere seconds. They must have edited it and cut it shorter it couldn't have only been that long, could it? At the time I didn't remember seeing when the mutts disappeared, but the clip shows that a hole had opened up in the earth that they all dived into.

The arena suddenly broke out into daylight. I heard the hovercraft overhead, I kissed Katniss on the forehead once more and moved out of the way as it came for the bodies taking one last look at her before she was taken away.

As the bodies were carried away Claudius Templesmith's voice echoed through the arena "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Peeta Mellark!"

The clip ended and the audience were going wild with applause. "Wasn't that just the most exciting and romantic end to the Hunger Games we've ever seen!" Caesar stood up and bellowed, the audience cheered louder. I didn't want their applause. Romantic? I felt sick. "Don't you all agree?" he claps, "and wasn't Peeta a fantastic contestant?" I snorted at the word contestant and instantly prayed no one picked up on that.

Caesar was once again able to settle his audience and came to site beside me once more to conclude his interview, "So what are your plans now, Peeta Mellark?" He asks me

"I just want to go home," I muttered

"But you're a Star now Peeta! And I bet my hat that you will become most eligible bachelor in all of Panem, the ladies will be lining up at the door," some of the ladies in the audience scream with delight. Caesar, ever the Showman. Always wants to give them more.

"I'm afraid I don't think I could give my heart away to another. That will always belong to Katniss," the audience start gushing again, a chorus of 'aww's' fill the room. I resist glaring at them, getting their pity wasn't my intention, it was to clearly state my disinterest in Caesar's remark.

"Before we go shall we take a look at some of your best bits from the arena?" He asks

"Sure" I say knowing I don't actually have a choice in the matter, the clip rolls and this time I don't watch, my eyes find four familiar pairs of eyes in the audience, those that belong to people that became friends to Katniss and I since the reaping, our mentor Haymitch Abernathy, the District 12 escort Effie Trinket and our stylists and Portia and Cinna in the audience. Effie and Portia were watching the screen completely fixated. Haymitch and Cinna nodded respectfully at me. I was thankful that they were here at least, I didn't feel quite so alone.