Hanten World- Reiss Castle, Paradis Island (3 months after The Rumbling)
Armin, Jean and Connie stood in suits in front of the Queen, Historia Reiss, in a room of the Castle.
"As of today, you will be serving as peacemakers between Eldia and the rest of the world…to tell of your experiences within the walls and convince the world that you intend no conflict." Historia addressed them
The others nodded "Yes, my queen."
Historia slightly flushed at this as she waved her hands
"H-Hey! Don't address me like that! You know we're friends, right?"
The three grinned in amusement. She then cleared her throat and continued
"Armin, I expect you to work on the frontline since you're the one who's always been good with words. And…"
Historia's head went slightly low in sorrow
"…and moreover, I think people will listen to you since they believe you were the one who…who killed Eren and stopped the Rumbling."
Armin's head went low at this like Historia. Jean and Connie looked towards him with slight pain in their face.
Historia then asked Armin "H-How's Mikasa doing? All this…it must have hit her the hardest…"
Armin slightly nodded "To be honest, we haven't seen her properly in the last 3 months. All we heard was that she quit the military right after the war and settled in a cabin near the tree where Eren was buried. I visited her once in her house, but we didn't talk much. Although she tried to not reveal it, she was clearly shaken by everything. I…I'm really scared about her…of what she'll do to herself…she was always the one who always worried about Eren the most …"
Historia nodded with her head with her lips pursed "Although she doesn't say it out, she clearly needs our help. That's why I called her today in hopes of making her join you guys, you know just to distract herself from all this… focus on helping people rebuild…She must be arriving soon."
Their heads came up in slight surprise.
"Mikasa's…coming here…?" Connie breathed.
Just then, a servant came into the room
"My Queen, I apologize to interrupt your meeting. I've come to inform that Mikasa Ackermann has arrived at the castle in hopes of meeting you. Should I send her in?"
"Yes. Do send her." Historia said
The servant bowed and left the room.
A few minutes later, Mikasa entered the room.
The people in the room were quite taken aback by the change in her appearance. Her hair grew slightly longer, little shorter than the style she sported during her days in training. She wore a pink shirt and a long red skirt. Her signature scarf was wrapped around her neck. Most importantly, she had become thinner, her arms looked less bulky than her time in the Survey Corps, showing her lack of training and the disappearance of her Ackermann abilities. She looked more like a civilian than a soldier. She had a sad smile in her face and a letter in her hands
"It's been a while, you guys. It's nice to see you again."
Armin and the others gave a slight smile.
Historia then asked "So Mikasa…about that letter…what have you decided?"
"Yes. I'm really thankful for the offer Historia, but I've decided to decline."
"A-Are you sure you don't want to come along, Mikasa?" Jean asked
"Yes. I'm absolutely sure. Don't worry about it."
Historia furrowed her eyes slightly and said "You three, can you leave the two of us alone? You can go home now if you'd like. "
They nodded. Then then left the room, leaving Historia and Mikasa alone. Historia gestured her to sit next to her. She then held her hand with both of hers
"Mikasa…I know it must be really hard for you to take all of this in…I can't even imagine the pain you must feel…but right now… the titans are gone…you can't keep yourself shut off from the world like this… the world is at peace now…and…I want you to be a part of it…"
Mikasa then looked down with a stone face
"I…I just can't…Historia. Right now…I don't want to see the world as it is. I…I don't want to see anything at all. I'm tired of it all…war…peacemaking…Eldian…Marleyan…titans…no titans…I can't deal with it all anymore…I just…want to be left in peace…"
Historia's spirit broke at the sight of her…seeing the strong willed girl who took on any challenge she faced give up like this
"Are you going to stay the rest of your life like this?"
"I…I don't know…Mostly I will…I…I don't think I'll be able to recall this pain and start all over again…I remember…when Trost was attacked, Armin told me that Eren was eaten by a titan…at that moment…I just gave up…I couldn't move forward despite what happened like Eren always did…and I…I…was ready to be eaten…only to try fighting one last time with all I had until Eren saved me."
Historia looked at her as Mikasa lightly smiled at the memory
" Armin's really worried of what you'll do to yourself you know…"
"Trust me I won't kill myself. Eren took billions of lives and his own to ensure that we live on… so that I'd live on. He'd feel guilty if I threw it away for him…he already has a lot of blood on his hands…"
Historia smiled lightly at this. The two went silent for a few seconds. Then Historia asked
"So how is it, living alone in the cottage? "
"It's peaceful and quiet. I raise a few animals: chickens, goats and sheep. I do have to go to Shiganshina for a few stuff, but otherwise, I don't move far from the house."
"Does the loneliness ever get to you sometimes?"
"Yes. There were times when I…had nightmares about the war…and there were times when I…cried myself to sleep. As long as I had Eren, I felt…I could do anything…but now…I feel…so insecure…I can…feel a little of the…scared girl inside me who watched her parents killed before her own eyes. There are times when I feel so guilty and depressed about Eren's death that I…couldn't even eat properly…especially after he showed me the life we could have had in the Paths…"
Historia put her hand on Mikasa's shoulder as slight tears came on Mikasa's eyes
"This world…truly is very cruel. After my parents died, Eren became my family. Ever since then I spent my whole life becoming stronger for him. So that I could protect him…but in the end…"
Her tears began to come out more as she lifted her shivering hands to look at them. She then continued…
"I killed him…with these very hands…"
She then completely broke down. The tears just wouldn't stop. Historia then stood up and hugged Mikasa who sat on the chair. Historia began to cry a few tears as well.
"I…I…never even told him 'I love you' when I had the chance… at least…that may have stopped him…and we could have had the life we wanted…even if it was cut short…"
Historia hugged her tighter as Mikasa cried her heart out
"Why…Why did things have to end this way? Why Eren? Why me?" she gasped out between cries
Historia held Mikasa close to her until she stopped crying, whispering to her that everything will be fine although she knows that for Mikasa, it's something that will never happen.
She then quieted down slowly. She then realized how she broke down in front of Historia
"I…I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that I…!"
Historia shushed her by slightly patting her head. "Don't apologize. Even strong people like you need to break down once in a while…and with what you've gone through…I was surprised that you didn't break down…It's not easy to lose someone you love, let alone kill…"
She simply nodded with her head down, slight tears in her eyes
"Anyway, What do you these days? Surely you must be doing something other than chores. " Historia said to divert the mood
"Y…Yes. After the Rumbling, Kiyomi Azumabito paid me a visit. She asked me if I could take the throne of Hizuru, which I refused. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually I managed to make her agree. However, she asked me to learn about the nation and culture of Hizuru at the very least. I had already disappointed her enough, so I agreed. She's given me a load of books to read " she said with a slight chuckle
"Really? I never knew about the last part. Due to this position, I never really got a chance to go beyond the walls and learn about the world. So…what stuff did she give you? I'm quite curious."
"She gave a few books on Hizuru's past rulers, a few legends and a few books on their religion, it helps me pass the time and… It's helped me…cope a bit…Some legends reminded me of the stories my mother used to tell me when I was a kid…"
"What else did you read?"
"I…I…happened to come across their concept of death first…it was a little…interesting and…complicated."
"I have time. I'm a bit interested."
"Hmm. They say that soon after a soul dies, they stay in this world for a while until they're liberated by a…uh…Shinigami or Death Gods who wear black robes. They're then sent to this place where they're judged. If they're evil, they're sent to Hell where they suffer for eternity. Or else, they're allowed to live in a world just for souls until they're reincarnated. Some souls can even become Shinigami if they can prove themselves worthy."
Historia raised an eyebrow " Wow. That's really interesting… I'm kind of jealous of your lifestyle, to be honest… having all the time in the world…these responsibilities are getting endless…it's good to hear of something else for a change"
Mikasa gave a light smile. She then remembered something
"Speaking of responsibilities, I have another favor to as of you…that's why I've come this far."
"What is it?"
"Could you…Could you erase my name from the soldiers who served during the war? I…I don't to be remembered as a soldier who was a part of the group that was against Eren and eventually killed him in the end."
Historia looked at her for a few seconds and then slowly agreed
"Alright. I'll do it. I'll tell Armin and the others to do the same."
"Thank you, Historia…for everything."
"Don't mention it. You deserve that much."
She then greeted her and left. As she left for her home, a fleeting thought crossed her mind
"I wonder how Eren would look like in black robes…"