Chapter XL – Murky Waters

"Look! There!" Lydia exclaimed when her eyes fastened on something down in the shallow swamp.

Some time ago Karnwyr had finally picked up a familiar scent and he started to lead them into another direction altogether. They ran after him until they reached the area somewhat close to Morthal. There they finally found him.

Karnwyr was the first to reach him, but the three women weren't far behind.

Bishop was lying on his back with his torso partially submerged in the swampy water. His head was lying on a small rock at least, so he wasn't in any danger of drowning, but he was only staring into the sky, hyperventilating. He had a nasty gash across his chest and he was dressed only in his trousers and boots, both of which were completely soaked with the thick waters.

"Oh Gods! Bishop!" Aeyrin instantly dropped to her knees into the viscous water and she peered at his wound intently. His eyes met hers and there was a palpable measure of panic in them, or maybe it was relief, she couldn't tell, but he made no movement besides that.

Lydia and Saadia stood a stone's throw away, staring at him in shock.

Aeyrin quickly pressed her hands on the wound on his chest and they lit up with magic instantly. The gash was still burning intensely, but the warmth of her magic made it a little better. He still felt sick to his stomach and if he stopped fighting through it, even for a second, he would definitely throw up yet again for what seemed like a millionth time. He had been running for so long, stopping only to empty the contents of his stomach, but his legs were giving out under him fast. At some point, he just couldn't run anymore. The last thing he managed to do was to position himself onto his back with his head on the rock so that he wouldn't just submerge into the swamp.

Aeyrin made rather short work of his wound. It wasn't even deep. The burning eased a lot, but he still felt so weak and the nausea wouldn't stop. He needed the antidote.

"Bishop?" Aeyrin gave him an uncertain expression. "That… wound wasn't that deep…" Everything was blurry, but he could still see that she raised an eyebrow at him. She was definitely confused about how a meager wound like that could put him in this state. There wasn't even any trace of the gash now.

"Poison," he managed to let the word out, but he had to put in a lot of effort in it so that he wouldn't throw up again.

"What?! 'Poison'?!" Aeyrin's eyes went wide. There were so many poisons out there, all with different effective antidotes, if any! How could they ever find the right one? And Bishop looked really bad. He could barely talk! It could be lethal!

"What… what are we gonna do? We need to find an antidote, but…" she started to blabber frantically, but he actually managed to speak again to interrupt her.

"Death…" he tried to get the word out, only eliciting a horrified gasp from Aeyrin. Fuck, he didn't mean to say that. "Deathbell." Aeyrin let out an exaggerated sigh of relief as he continued. "Troll… fa…" he swallowed the last sound. Aeyrin started to rummage in her pack frantically before she located a small piece of paper and a thin shard of charcoal. He tried to let the words out while she scribbled them down with the paper on her knee. "Blue… dart…" He noticed her nod her head quickly to indicate that she understood. He had that antidote memorized a long time ago. A lot of Thorn's men had. It was for those times when Thorn decided not to bother curing his men if they pissed him off too much. "Crab… chit'n"

"That's all?" she let out another little sigh of relief, although she was hardly calm now. She didn't understand anything – how he got there, where he'd been and who'd done this to him. She had no idea how he knew the ingredients to what she assumed was the antidote and she had no idea if the poison could eventually kill him. But there was nothing to do but to get the things he had listed and to try to do whatever they could.

Bishop nodded slowly. Aeyrin quickly turned towards Saadia and Lydia and outstretched her hand that was clutching the paper towards them. "Get to Morthal. Now. As fast as you can. It's that way," she pointed southeast with her other hand while Lydia snatched the paper from her. "Get the alchemist to mix the antidote for you then run back here." Aeyrin quickly rummaged in her pack again until she located her coin purse and pressed it firmly into Lydia's hand.

"We'll be back as soon as we can," Saadia nodded resolutely.

"Should both of us go? Do you need any help? I don't… what do we do?" Lydia gave Aeyrin a desperate look. She was clearly shaken from the events. This was hardly the pleasant carefree trip that she had in mind.

"Both of you go. Saadia is unarmed. You need to be ready if some beast jumps you," Aeyrin said quickly. "I'll make sure he stays alive until then."

The women didn't hesitate any longer. They quickly turned in the direction of Morthal and started running towards the town, through the swamp.

Aeyrin instantly turned her attention back to Bishop. He was still breathing heavily. She wasn't sure if a healing potion could help, she wasn't sure what exactly was bothering him, but it definitely couldn't hurt. She rummaged in her pack yet again to locate one and she gently pressed the bottle to his lips after uncorking it.

Bishop lifted his head slightly to indicate his willingness to drink. She pressed the bottle more firmly to his lip and tilted it to make him drink. He tried his best, but he was short of breath and some of the liquid spilled around his chin and down his neck. It still felt a little better as some of it went down his throat. At least it might numb his nausea.

The steady intake of liquid became too much at one point and he sputtered some of it, heaving. Aeyrin quickly removed the bottle from him and grabbed his shoulders. She propped him up to a sitting position with a hard yank and she smacked into his back firmly, making his sputter a little more of the liquid. At least he could breathe though.

His breath slowly steadied while she kept holding him up. It seemed easier when he was sitting.

"Better?" she gave him a concerned look. She was still a little blurry, but he could see her worried expression vaguely.

He nodded.

"They'll come back soon. Morthal is really close," she reassured him gently. Her hands still held him firmly up, but her fingers started to dig into his flesh and rub him slowly. Even in this situation, it was so soothing.

"Can you talk?" she asked quietly. Karnwyr was walking around them slowly in the meantime, occasionally pressing his head into Bishop's flank to comfort him with a low whine.

Bishop nodded slowly. He could try.

"Who did this to you? Was it the Guild again?" she wondered while she kept rubbing his shoulders.

He shook his head. He was a little reluctant to tell her now. Not that he was planning to keep this from her, but she was panicked enough as it was. It would be nice to actually wait until she knew that he was alright, but she asked and they were alone at least. He definitely didn't want to drag Lydia and Saadia into this too. But there was no way to avoid dragging Aeyrin into it. He was certainly not going to leave her!

They would just… have to deal with whatever came next.

He had no idea what the Brotherhood's response to this would be, but it would definitely not be pleasant. But there was nothing they could do now. Besides, they could just as well use Aeyrin as some sort of bargaining chip even if the two of them had separated again. Even more easily actually. After all, he had only been caught when he was alone.

"Brotherhood," Bishop let the word out at last.

"What?! What do you mean?! Why?!" Aeyrin gasped in horror. "Is this because of… is this Maven? Does she know?"

Bishop shook his head again. He didn't really have it in him to explain everything. There was only one thing that he managed to say.

"They know."

…

Aeyrin supported the bottle while still holding Bishop up with her other hand.

He drank greedily now when he was more ready for the intake of liquid. He really had to drink all of this down, vile as it was. With every sip, he felt a little better. He knew that the antidote worked fast, but it would do nothing to alleviate his exhaustion.

Lydia and Saadia looked at him intently all the while, but he couldn't really keep watching his surroundings for long. When the antidote was finally all gone, all his will to keep himself steady left him and he slumped limply into Aeyrin's arms. She barely managed to drop the vial before she had to grip him tightly in her embrace to prevent them both from falling back into the murky waters under Bishop's dead weight. He was still conscious and he could hear everyone talking, but he couldn't move anymore. He was so exhausted.

"Do you know what happened? Who did this to him?" Lydia's concerned voice sounded in his ears while Aeyrin started to stroke through his hair in gentle movements.

He managed to shake his head quickly. Or at least he thought that it was quickly. He really hoped that Aeyrin would get the hint.

Aeyrin wasn't sure how to respond to Lydia's question for a while, but then she noticed a subtle movement of Bishop's head that had been dipped into her shoulder. It seemed like he was trying to signal her about something. She could only assume that he didn't want Lydia and Saadia to know. It was reasonable and it was for the best. She had no idea what even happened and what they would have to deal with from now on. There was no reason to drag those two into another one of their messes.

"No… he… he only said that he didn't see who it was," she answered after a while. It was vague enough.

"Do you have any idea who it could have been? Those people from the Thieves Guild maybe?" Saadia asked curiously. Aeyrin kept forgetting just how much these two already knew about all that.

"Maybe… it's possible. They want us both dead," Aeyrin sighed. "But it could be anyone…" She wasn't sure why she started to think about this. She knew who did this, but she still didn't know why. She kept wondering if someone found out about Sibbi, if Bishop was going to be Maven's target now, as well as the target of the Dark Brotherhood. Things had finally been starting to look up a little with Mercer's power waning. She was looking forward so much to the freedom after their talk with Karliah – it sounded like they could finally go almost anywhere without having to watch their backs constantly. That was not going to happen now.

She sorely needed to talk to Bishop, but that was not to be either. Not anytime soon.

"You think it could be someone else? Just how many enemies do you two have?" Saadia's brows shot upwards in both shock and concern.

"I don't even know anymore," Aeyrin answered quietly. She shouldn't let herself drown in these thoughts. There were more immediate things to worry about now.

She slowly let her hand fall from Bishop's hair and she gripped him around his shoulders. He was still completely limp, but she forced him off herself and shook him a little to rile him up. He opened his eyes only very reluctantly.

"Let's get you some rest." When she was fairly certain that he was holding himself up with his own strength, she moved one of her hands from his shoulder to his cheek to stroke over it tenderly. She stood up after a while, still with her hand on his shoulder, until she hooked it under his arm. "Lydia, help me to get him walking. And Saadia, please, find his shirt in his pack. We need to get to Morthal."

"Wouldn't it be easier to camp here? There's a patch of dry land there," Saadia pointed towards a spot of elevated land a little further away from them.

"No… I don't know if it's safe. We need a public place," Aeyrin sighed. At least for tonight until Bishop regained some senses.

"Yeah… I don't think I really feel like camping anymore anyway," Lydia shuddered before she stepped closer to Bishop and grabbed him under the other arm to help Aeyrin hoist him up. He was somewhat heavier with how much his trousers and boots were soaked in the swamp water. And he was especially heavy with how limp he still was.

When he was finally up on his feet, he managed to hold himself up at least a little. He was still conscious, if nothing else. Saadia handed them Bishop's shirt and they managed to dress him into it with some difficulty. At least he was trying to help them along a little.

Aeyrin only nodded resolutely after they were done.

"Let's go. At least we're close."

…

Their stay at the Moorside Inn was a far cry from their celebrations the previous night.

The mood was decidedly somber and Bishop was hard to get to cooperate. Aeyrin needed to at least wash him from the filthy water before she could put him into bed. He forced himself to stay somewhat lucid, but it was like his limbs were made of ectoplasm. He kept stumbling and getting him out of his clothes was uncharacteristically difficult. Usually he didn't need much encouragement to undress.

Finally she managed to get him clean and she dragged him to the room. She led him through the tavern only draped tightly in his old cloak. She was definitely not going to try to dress him in his cleaned wet clothes only to preserve his modesty for a few feet. Besides, the inn was almost empty, as usual.

When they reached the bed, he practically forced himself out of her arms and flopped down to it. She would have put him down herself, but, admittedly, it was much easier this way.

Saadia and Lydia hovered around them all evening. They brought Bishop some food and water, but there was not much to do. Aeyrin didn't need much help in waking him up enough so that she could feed him and make him drink, and other than that, they had to let him rest.

They had asked Aeyrin to come to the common room so that they could talk, but she was adamant about not leaving Bishop's side even for a second. She even worried about falling asleep, but eventually, her own exhaustion caught up with her.

Bishop should be fine after some rest, hopefully.

Then she might finally get some answers.

…

"I just don't understand how you can't even have a theory," Saadia shook her head in confusion while the four of them passed through the snowy pass leading towards Whiterun.

Bishop was still a little groggy, but at least he was conscious and lucid. Saadia and Lydia had been exhausting with their curiosity, but he was tight-lipped. He claimed that it was some cloaked figure and that he regained consciousness in some abandoned cabin while that person was trying to restrain him. They scrapped and he got slashed by some blade with the poison. He managed to wound that person, but not much else. He ran right after that.

Aeyrin knew that this was a lie. Maybe some of it was true, but not all of it. After all, he knew that it was the Brotherhood. He had to have talked to them.

But he obviously didn't want to divulge anything in front of the two women and Aeyrin didn't get a chance to talk to him alone with their constant hovering.

Now they were all on their way back to Whiterun. Lydia and Saadia were headed back home and Bishop and Aeyrin were bound for the meadery.

"No, never seen them before, as far as I can tell," Bishop shrugged. "People have lackeys, you know. Could have been anyone."

"Why didn't they try to kill you?" Saadia scowled.

"They obviously didn't want me dead," Bishop scoffed in response.

"So why the poison?" Lydia gaped at him in confusion.

"Don't know. Desperation? You wanna ask them?" he growled. This was getting tiresome.

"How did you know the ingredients to the antidote?" Lydia asked another question. Fuck, they wouldn't let up.

Aeyrin looked at Bishop curiously. This was one of the questions that she really wanted to know the answer to herself. But she still doubted that Bishop would go into any detail.

"I know my poisons," he shrugged. Predictable…

Bishop stopped in his tracks suddenly, making them all turn to him in confusion.

"The border. We need to get off the trail," he nodded resolutely. None of the others even noticed that they had already reached the border to the Whiterun Hold.

"Do you want us to go with you?" Lydia gave them a concerned look.

"No… You've already helped more than enough," Aeyrin gave her a kind smile. She was all too eager to finally know the truth. Bishop would tell her, right? "You two go home. Thank you, for the celebrations. And… I'm sorry that it ended up this way," she sighed.

Lydia squeezed her shoulder with a regretful smile as she shook her head. "It's not your fault. It was a nice trip, at first at least. Just… be careful, please."

"We will be. And we'll… or I will… we'll see each other soon. Don't worry about us. I'm pretty sure that we've dealt with worse," Aeyrin chuckled weakly. She actually wasn't so sure about that. The Dark Brotherhood was the one threat that she had never wanted to cross paths with. They may have scared her more than those overgrown lizards.

They exchanged more farewells for a while before the two women continued down the path towards the city.

Before they headed out their own way, Aeyrin turned to Bishop sharply.

"Alright. Spill it."

…

It took a long while for Bishop to explain everything that he knew about what had happened to him.

Whatever information he had managed to get from the assassin, however, was not enough to tell them the answer to the most important question of all.

"So… what happens now?" Aeyrin gave him a worried look as they walked across the empty plains towards the meadery. "A-are they… after you now? Do they want you dead? You tried to kill one of them," she bit her lower lip nervously. It was not that she blamed him. She was even a little impressed that he instantly attacked that woman without taking the easy way out and biding his time. She didn't expect him to ever get himself under the thumb of yet another group of vicious killers, but she did expect him to kill some unknown person just to get out of that place alive and to be able to devise a better plan. Not that she would blame him in that case, she wasn't sure what she would do in that situation herself. How did he always find himself in these strange opportunities where murdering someone in cold blood ensured his or her safety? It was getting uncanny.

She was glad that he didn't take the easier road, although the people in that cabin were definitely dead now anyway. But all of this now left them with excruciating uncertainty.

"I don't know. I don't know if they still want me to… join them. That woman mentioned that their numbers weren't great. I… don't exactly know what that means in terms of numbers, but… maybe they still wouldn't risk losing another potential recruit?" he gave her an equally uncertain look.

"Well… she tried to kill you already," Aeyrin scowled.

"Maybe…" Bishop's brows creased as he said the word with a somewhat disturbed tone. "Maybe she knows more than I thought. Maybe she knew that I would be able to cure myself of the poison. I have no idea how much they've learnt when they were… watching." His head instinctively snapped back as he looked over his shoulder. Ever since that cabin, he felt like he was being watched constantly. He really didn't need shit like this to only make his paranoia worse.

"I… I guess," Aeyrin sighed. "I don't even know what to think about that. And I still can't believe that you actually recognized a poison." There could have been hundreds of different poisons in the world as far as she knew. How did he manage to identify that one so quickly? He said that Thorn had used it often, presumably on him too, but still… it was such dumb luck. At least it seemed like it. Maybe it was just a common poison in Skyrim, made from the local ingredients?

"Yeah… kinda stays with you," Bishop scoffed disdainfully.

They stopped for a while as the road near the outskirts became visible in the distance. They should split up at that point – Bishop was much more subtle on his own and she could get to the meadery faster by taking the road.

They still didn't part though. Aeyrin turned towards Bishop, but she didn't meet his gaze. She stared into the ground for a while before she asked the question on her mind nervously.

"So… he's done that to you a lot?"

"Sort of. Not at first," Bishop shrugged. "I knew about the poison and the antidote from the other bandits first. It was a popular… disciplinary method of his and the people kinda wanted everyone to be prepared. Of course, that only meant that they charged insane prices for the antidote when people were at the brink of death," he scoffed. "Anyway… once I started pissing Thorn off… poisoning me became one of his favorite past times. Sometimes I couldn't even afford food for Jules and me because I spent it all on that fucking antidote."

Aeyrin didn't really know what to say to that. She wasn't sure if she should be glad about how open Bishop had become about his past with her ever since the truth about Thorn came out, or whether she should be getting more and more disturbed by all those snippets of his past life that she had been gathering. As awful as her own childhood had been, at the very least she had years of love and comfort at the temple. He had none of that throughout his life. She felt kind of bad for ever feeling sorry for herself for whatever hardship she'd suffered.

"Never thought that kind of shit could come in handy," Bishop smirked, as if he was trying to lighten the mood a little. "Still waiting for the time when the beatings and the torture will become useful."

There was another long while of uncomfortable silence where neither of them spoke, until Bishop let out a deep sigh and looked at Aeyrin with a reassuring expression.

"We can drop this, if you want." It was not like he needed to talk about any of that shit that happened when he was working for Thorn. Surprisingly enough, this wasn't the part that was still haunting him. He'd had enough abuse throughout his life to be able to move on from this shit kind of quickly. Besides, none that could ever measure up to Jules's death. And none of that could ever measure up to Aeyrin getting captured by that freak.

"Do you want to?" she looked at him uncertainly.

Did she want to talk about this? Maybe it was the whole 'misery loves company' thing.

"I don't care. It's been a long time and… I don't mind talking about this. Not with you," he nodded. He certainly wouldn't want to wallow in this shit with anyone else. And Aeyrin at least knew about some of this already. In general, at least. She could have deduced a lot of it herself.

There was a long moment of silence between them again as Aeyrin averted her gaze once more. She was staring into the ground with palpable trepidation, as if she was waging an internal battle between her curiosity and fear of broaching this subject, either for Bishop's sake or for her own. It was obviously not easy for her either to ever think about Thorn and his colorful methods. Bishop wasn't sure whether she needed to or wanted to talk about what happened to her. He didn't really need to talk about what happened to him, but if it helped her move on at least a little, he was willing.

"Why did he do that?" she finally looked at him.

Bishop knew that she was definitely not asking about Thorn's reasons for tormenting him – she knew about those already. Was she looking for some purpose behind their pain? He shouldn't have made that joke about the torture being 'useful'. It wasn't, it would never be and there was really no purpose, no lesson, no rhyme and no reason. It was just a game of a twisted mind.

"Fear and sick pleasure. There's not much else to it. He enjoyed showing anyone that he was capable of making them wish that they were dead. He used it to keep people in line and… well his prisoners were just for fun… I guess," Bishop cringed. "Every single member of his clans got to see the… 'show' when they passed the training. If they passed the training. He wanted to show them what they were in for if they misbehaved. The others… his most loyal men, they usually took over after he got bored." Bishop wasn't sure if knowing the tactics behind Thorn's favorite pastime made Aeyrin feel better or worse. She certainly looked disturbed, but she seemed much less upset than he would have expected.

"What… what did he do to you?" she asked. She wasn't sure if she could ask that. It may have been too much information, although she certainly didn't expect an exact recounting of years of abuse. She wasn't sure what she was actually expecting. She wasn't even sure why she asked. It was… strange. It was strange that it wasn't making her overwhelmingly anxious to talk and to think about this. He spoke so matter-of-factly, as if he was just recounting her with stories from a mission or something. There were the appropriate cringes and looks of disgust at times, but he never paused, never stammered. It seemed like he didn't have a hard time at all, talking about this. She kind of envied him. But… when she thought about it, maybe he was staying this… emotionless for her. It did feel almost comfortingly normal to talk about this.

"A lot… over the years. I'm gonna spare you the details, but the thing is… there's rarely much use for innovation. He beat me, cut me, used those fucking tools of his. Sometimes the poison was involved… it depended on how much I've pissed him off. He didn't usually mutilate the other bandits. It was easier for him to keep us whole. Even cutting off fingers could be bad for archers and mages and shit. He usually reserved that for his prisoners," he sighed. His eyes briefly darted to her ear. She got off so easy. Not that he wasn't glad for that. It was obvious that Thorn really wanted to prolong it with her. It was weird to think of his most twisted plans as… fortunate.

There was another moment of silence as Aeyrin mulled his words over. It was all so surprisingly… calm. As if they were both too numb to it already. It also felt strangely cathartic. And he did have the perfect opportunity to find out what had been bothering him for a while now.

"What about you?"

Aeyrin's eyes went wide at the question, but she quickly composed herself. It was not as if she had anything worse to tell him than what he had just told her. She knew from the start that she had been spared a lot of pain. She couldn't even begin to imagine going through this for as long as he had. But he was still here, and he was still just as willing to defy despots like that, even after all that he'd been through. He'd proved that enough with that assassin. He didn't let the memories and the fear intimidate him. It was admirable. And inspiring. She would be able to do it too.

"I… I don't really… know…" she sighed. Bishop raised his brow at her and she quickly explained. "I mean… I do know… some of it. He… he did that," she gestured vaguely to her ear with an involuntary trembling hand. "He cut me… used those… tools on me. He kept taunting me and… touching me. But… I couldn't take it. The pain… it was too much. And after some time… I… passed out. I… I don't know what he's done to me after that," she lowered her head. She wasn't sure if she should be glad that she didn't remember, or more anxious. Whenever she thought about this, she couldn't stop imagining all the other sick and twisted things that he could have done to her. She wouldn't even be able to tell… after. Her whole body was in so much pain, she didn't even know where it was coming from anymore.

"Oh," Bishop looked at her with surprise. "Nothing."

He sounded so sure. She would really like to believe that. "What? How would you even know?" she scoffed at him. He surely only said it to comfort her.

"Because he never did. He wanted his victims to be conscious. He always wanted them to see what he was doing to them. He didn't know about Karliah's attacks, he was sure that he would have you there for a long time. He wouldn't have done anything to you until you woke up again. Fuck, he would probably even have you healed if you didn't wake soon enough for his liking."

That was… good. That really did comfort her, to an extent. At least she could stop wondering now. Bishop seemed really sure of this, and he would know.

There was another long moment of silence, but, this time, it felt oddly… soothing. It was definitely less uncomfortable now.

Bishop smiled, after a while. He reached out to her and he gently stroked over her cheek, before he moved his fingers over her mangled ear. She couldn't help but lean into his touch.

"We're still here. And his head is probably displayed in the Jarl's throne room now," he smirked somewhat maliciously.

She nodded and she slowly, and still a bit uncertainly, returned his smile. He was right. She wondered if she could have been spared of all the nightmares and anxieties if she had only listened to him and talked about this sooner. But… she wasn't ready. It was probably for the best. She had no illusions about having this talk as some magic cure-all. The memories would surely still haunt her at times. But… she didn't feel bitter about the lies and the betrayals anymore and… talking about this definitely made her feel better about all the pain too.

"You're alright," Bishop's smile didn't disappear for a second. She wasn't even sure whether he was asking her, or telling her.

She nodded. She was, surprisingly enough.

"Good. Then let's go make sure that the other asshole ends up the same way that Thorn did."