"Oi," The boy approached her. He had a clean handkerchief in his hands. He wiped her tears with the soft fabric and he frowned. "Is crying all you do?" He handed her the piece of cloth before he let out a heavy sigh. "I know a place. Follow me,"
She couldn't believe this. He was actually helping her? That was the most anybody had spoken to her. She couldn't help it. She pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-"
"Shut up, already," The boy said harshly, before he pushed her away till her back crushed against the wall of the building behind her. The air was knocked out of her chest and she almost fell on her bum, but she didn't care. That boy was actually going to help her.
She extended her hand. "I'm Nat," She said with a wide smile on her face, and her eyes shined bright with hope.
It was the first time he had made somebody smile, and quite frankly, he hadn't even tried, if anything, he was trying his best to be rude and get rid of her, yet she was still smiling. What the hell's wrong with that girl?! He shook her hand just to avoid her whining.
"Levi," He said dryly before he turned around. "Follow me,"
He seemed to know his way around the Underground. Nathalie was walking through streets that she had never seen before. Men were all around, staring at her with hungry eyes. Nathalie cowered behind the boy who was still holding his dagger tightly in his hands, making sure that everybody could see it.
They finally reached a building. A man was sitting by the steps, with a bottle of alcohol resting beside him. He was wearing a hat, even though there was no sun in the Underground, and he had a cigar, dancing between his lips. He laughed when he saw them approaching.
"Already bringing girls home, boy?" Levi did not give an answer and the old man was forced to pull his hat away and make the questions himself. He turned at the girl. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
"Nathalie Burgess, sir,"
The man's eyes widened. Fingers clenched around his cigar, smashing it in half. Nathalie was afraid that he was going to beat her. She was used to violence. It was a frequent thing back in her home. But the man did not hit her. He lit another cigar, finally reaching a decision in his mind, and regretting every single bit of it. He was in no mood for babysitting. Becoming somebody's dad was a pain in his ass already with Levi around. But that name… He should probably lift his gun up right now and plant a bullet in her head.
Yes. That's what he should do. His hand reached back for his gun. Fingers fisted around it tightly. Levi got in the way immediately. He pushed Nathalie behind him and he threw a hand protectively in front of her.
"Get out of the way, boy,"
"I did not bring her here for you to kill her," Levi growled.
But then an idea struck Kenny. It would be a shame to kill a Burgess. He couldn't even imagine how much that girl would be worth to the King one day. Not to mention that the girl would wake up one day and know things that the King wasn't telling him. It'd be wiser to use that.
Kenny let go of his gun and he pulled out a smile. "Kill her? What makes you think I'd do that?"
Levi frowned. His shoulders slightly relaxed.
"Welcome to the fam, Nat,"
Six years. He promised himself. Six years he'd give those brats and he'd let them go. He couldn't be anybody's dad. Not with his current profession. And true to himself, he did abandon them in the streets of the Underground six years later. The boy was twelve, and the girl was eleven. He had taught them to survive. They'd be fine making it on their own.
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"NATHALIE!"
The body crushed down on the cart, dead and lifeless. But it wasn't Nathalie's body, nor Jean's. It was the woman's who was holding the gun. She got out of the way, only to reveal Armin with another gun in his hands. He was the one who had shot her and who had saved both their lives.
But three more came from behind. Levi gritted his teeth. "Armin! Jean!" He grabbed Nathalie, and Mikasa grabbed Jean, whilst Sasha grabbed Armin. They pulled them out of the way before the bullets could've hurt them. The three soldiers got on the wagon and drove it away, with Eren and Historia still on top.
Mikasa tried to go after them but Levi stopped her.
"Let them go," Levi ordered. "We're running on fumes,"
Mikasa tried to fight against him. "No!" She shouted. "EREN!"
Armin's hand reached for his mouth. He had just taken a life. He wanted to puke. Nathalie grabbed his hand and led him towards the river. Armin dropped on his knees and started crying and puking his guts out. That's why Nathalie didn't want them to kill. The guilt was always immense. No one can be the same after the first time of taking a life.
Nathalie held his hair back and she knelt beside him. It was her fault. She should've taken that woman out herself. She was just so scared of losing someone. She had lost everyone, and now she couldn't lose anyone else again. Not those kids. Her kids.
"I'm so sorry, Armin," Nathalie said. She took out a handkerchief and she handed it to him. Armin turned and looked at her with tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Was it… the same for you… when you first-"
"Yes," Nathalie cut him before she pulled him into a hug, letting him sob on her shoulder and clutch on her clothes. Her hand found his hair, caressing comfortingly. "That's why I am no doctor… and I can never be,"
That realisation hurt her more than she had realised. She could never be a doctor. She could never take the oath that she'd never take a life. This is a cruel world. She didn't have to keep reminding herself. The cruelty and the violence were everywhere. They were all around them, surrounding them and oppressing them with fear. She wanted to see this end. She wanted to see people grow, and they wouldn't have to ever take a life. And she wanted to atone for taking all these lives by helping this world become a better place. They all fought for that.
"I'm- I'm sorry," Armin whispered against her wettened shoulder and Nathalie held him for a moment more.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," Nathalie said, stroking his back. Hands slightly tightened around him, before she pulled back and wiped his tears with the back of her fingers. "Let's meet up with the others,"
Armin nodded and he stood up to walk back to the street. Nathalie stood up as well but it almost felt like the world around her was spinning. She shut her eyes. Her hand found her forehead. What the hell's wrong with me? Did all that maneuvering caused her to get dizzy? It was possible, but she slipped back to her senses when Armin's hand found her shoulder.
"Are you alright, Nathalie?" The boy asked worriedly.
Nathalie gave him a reassuring smile. "Aw, it's nothing. Probably all that maneuvering got me dizzy," She said and the boy nodded. Part of her screamed danger, but the other part, just tried to ignore it. It's nothing. "C'mon," she gave Armin another smile.
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Nobody could munch on their crackers. They had settled on wooden boxes, that served as benches, that they had found in the abandoned warehouse where they found shelter for the night. They were sitting around a lantern that brought enough light, but there was nothing else to eat but those crackers that the Scouts would normally bring in their Expeditions. They were high calory, and did not need any specific environment to be conserved in.
Still, no one had the appetite to eat after what happened today. Except maybe for Levi. Nathalie couldn't eat her cracker either. It wasn't all that blood and death that had bothered her stomach. She had been puking the crackers out last night and now she felt sick just looking at them. She sighed and she stuffed the cracker back in her bag. What wouldn't I give for a little bit of chocolate right now? Her stomach growled. She hadn't had chocolate for a while. But she wasn't going to complain no matter how much she needed that chocolate right now.
Levi and Nathalie were just so used to that kind of life. It had been their everyday life for so many years. Being on the run, and being forced to kill and do unspeakable things to survive. That had been their life for more than a decade. But the kids were new to this. They were quiet, and their cheery attitude, long gone. There were no jokes to go around. Eren and Historia had been abducted. Mikasa had been a mess.
Nathalie hated that she and Levi were the ones to introduce them into this cruelty. Armin's hand was shaking as he brought the cracker up, to take a bite. His lips wouldn't part. Nathalie's steady hand met Armin's. She stopped the shaky movement of his hand and he turned and looked at her with eyes of terror and disgust, and sorrow. Nathalie pushed his hand down on his lap and she took the cracker from his fingers.
"Best not to eat after vomiting like that," Nathalie said as she tossed the cracker back in her bag.
"What's wrong?" Levi asked, breaking the silence and attracting their attention. "Did all this filth kill your appetite?"
Levi had been shooting Nathalie the I will scold you so fucking bad glare, but he was keeping quiet for now. That was probably because she had risked her life getting in the way to save Jean. Still, Levi would've done the same for Jean and for every single person in his squad. But for a moment he thought he had lost her, and that thought was terrifying.
"No," Armin said. "Jean. There's something I don't understand,"
"What's that?" Jean asked. Equally as shocked as Armin was about today.
"When I turned around and tried to save you, that woman already had her gun to your head. It's… funny. How could I have shot before she did?" Armin asked, even though, he knew the answer.
Jean tensed up. He gritted his teeth. Hands fisted in his lap. The woman didn't want to shoot him, and he didn't want to shoot back. But they were on different sides, and they had to. If only things weren't so fucked up. "I don't know," Jean choked out. Nathalie's hand found his shoulder and she opened her mouth to speak, but Levi spoke first.
"You shot first because she hesitated," He stated. "It's simple,"
"I'm sorry, Armin. I'm sorry Nathalie. You two wouldn't have had to save me if I'd just done my job," Jean gritted his teeth.
"Hey, it's only natural to hesitate at first," Nathalie said but she could tell she wasn't doing a good job at reassuring him.
"I know what it is…" Armin spoke. "…the woman I shot back there… I bet she was a really kind person. She must've been more human that I could ever hope to be. I pulled that trigger so easily… without a thought. I'm-"
"A killer," Levi stated coldly.
Nathalie sighed. She knew Levi was having a hard time being sympathetic with people but "Levi!" she scolded him but he ignored her.
"And now that your hands had been soaked in blood, the person you once were is gone for good," Levi said.
Mikasa gasped. "Why would you say that?!"
"You shouldn't regret it for one second, because if you'd chosen to keep your hands clean, Jean would be a corpse on a cart right now," Levi said and everybody fell quiet. Nathalie chose to let Levi do the talk. "I'll tell you why you pulled the trigger. Because your comrade was about to die. Armin, everyone on our squad survived today, because you got blood on your hands. Thank you,"
"Captain Levi," Jean said shakily. "I- I thought it was wrong for us to fight other humans, sir. I thought it was wrong that you ordered us to do it. I mean… we became soldiers to protect people. But now, I see that I was on the wrong, sir. Next time, I swear, I'll shoot,"
"I never said anything about what was right or wrong," Levi said, and Jean looked at his Captain surprised. "Mine and Nat's moral high-grounds are shot to hell. We've no idea who's in the right at this point,"
Nathalie sighed as she stood up and placed her cup down. He was right, but it was time they changed the subject. "Let's see what dear Mr. Reeves has to say,"
Levi, Nathalie and Mikasa stood up and approached the man that was tied on a pole. Nathalie pulled off the cloth that they had tied around his mouth.
"Mercy! Please! I'm just an old man that used to move cargo, I wouldn't-"
"Dimo Reeves, right?" Levi asked.
"This damn job was forced on us by the Military Police, and now that we've fucked it, they'll plunder the Reeves Company for everything it's worth," Dimo said. "First they'll kill me. Then they'll set up accidents for all my employees, my dumb son too,"
"Boo hoo," Nathalie mocked. "So what? You're just gonna lay down and take it? If I'm correct, you're the reason Trost recovered from that titan attack,"
"Tell me, if your company were to disappear, how many will survive the coming winter?" Levi asked, resting a hand on his waist.
"So, what? You want me to join you?" Dimo asked.
"We just need to know where Eren and Historia are," Levi said. "If you're in contact with the MPs, I think I have a plan,"
"And will you give me your word that the people of Trost won't end up starving to death?" Dimo asked, and Levi knelt down on one knee.
"I can't guarantee it, that said, I believe they'll have a better chance with us than without,"
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"Our situation just got worse!" Hange barged into Erwin's room with Moblit behind her. Her three members had just told her about Kenny and the Reeves Company. "I have three things to report, Commander. First, Eren and Historia have been abducted by the enemy,"
Erwin's eyes widened. He stood up right away. Fists clenched. Heart beat fast. "What about Nathalie?!"
"Nathalie's safe for the time being," Hange said and Erwin's shoulders relaxed slightly. "I'm about to meet Levi and Nat and help them follow a lead that they've got on Historia's and Eren's current whereabouts," Hange said.
"Understood. What else?"
"Nathalie asked Eren to remember a conversation between Ymir and Berthold back when they had him abducted," That insistent headache struck Hange once again. Her hand reached for her forehead and she groaned. "But if this is actually true then- SHIT! Nathalie's theories were correct, I can't fucking believe it. I feel like my head's about to explode. How did she even know that-"
"Are you okay?!" Moblit asked worriedly. His hand found her shoulder and Erwin offered her a glass of water.
"Here,"
Hange snatched the glass off Erwin's hands and she chugged it down her throat. "Nathalie was right. If an unintelligent titan consumes an intelligent titan, then they inherit their abilities and they turn back into a human. That said, unless we recover Eren quickly, he is going to be devoured,"
Erwin gritted his teeth. "Nathalie foretold us all this. You know what to do,"
"And one last thing, Commander," Hange said. "Moblit and I have been checking Nathalie's samples in the labs. We continued her research. I tried the titan spinal fluid onto an almost dead rat, and healed the rat from the brink of death. Of course, the rat didn't turn into a titan because it doesn't have the genes that Nathalie's been talking about,"
"I remember Nathalie wanted to try it on a human subject," Erwin said.
"The MPs won't let me access any prisons to retrieve one, that's why I ran the experiments on rats. I'm positive that if we inject Mrs. Springer with Eren's titan spinal fluid, she will turn back into a human," Hange said.
"That said, if we combine both Eren's titan spinal fluid and a normal titan's spinal fluid, the outcome will be a serum that can heal somebody from the brink of death," Moblit finished for Hange.
Erwin nodded. "Excellent work. We'll make big amounts of that serum for the mission in Shiganshina,"
The others nodded. "Yes, sir!"
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After using Dimo Reeves to lure out in a carriage two MPs from the Interior Squad, they took them further away from the city and into an abandoned cabin in the woods. Levi and Nathalie got right into work. She hadn't tortured somebody in so long. She was going to enjoy this. Levi and Nathalie could be very scary if they wanted to. After all, they have had the best teacher around.
Still, they had taken out all nails, beaten him to near death, and the man wouldn't talk. Nathalie was almost feeling sorry for the guy. But it didn't take long when Hange and Moblit barged in.
"I made it! You guys haven't finished yet, have you?!" Hange cried out as she approached the two and the man who was tied in a chair.
"No," Levi said.
"Haven't even gotten our feet wet," Nathalie said pulling on glove in her hand.
"Sannes!" Hange growled. "I'm only a novice at human torture, but while I like experience, I plan to give this job my all," She grabbed the pincers and went straight for a tooth.
"Hold on! At least, tell me what you want! Who the hell tortures without asking questions!" Sannes cried out and Nathalie realised he was right. They hadn't asked anything.
"Oh shit, did we forget to ask?" Nathalie turned at Levi and he shrugged in response. She grabbed another set of pincers and she pulled out another tooth. "Where's Eren and Historia?!" Nathalie demanded, but the man was too occupied with screaming in pain.
"What do you want with Historia? What is the Reiss family?" Hange asked.
"C'mon! Can't you see that we're in a time crunch here?!" Hange cried out giving him a harsh slap in the face that made Moblit cringe. Whoah.
"What's the deal with the Burgess family anyway?" Levi asked. If anybody knew, it'd be them.
The man's eyes widened. "Burgess…" he turned and looked at Nathalie. "You're… Nathalie Burgess… the Outsider,"
So, her origins really were from outside the walls. She had known it for a while now, but now she was sure.
"How long do you think you'll get to avoid being tortured like this?" Sannes asked turning at Nathalie. "You know things… things he wants to extract from you… they'll try everything to make you talk,"
"I know nothing," Nathalie stood her ground.
"Oh, but you do… can't you see their memories? Your father's memories. Your grandfather's memories… and so on. You know everything, and he needs it," Sannes said before Levi punched him hard in the nose, breaking the bone beneath and the man screamed.
"Who is he?!" Levi growled.
He grasped the man by the shirt. Fingers fisted painfully around the fabric, threatening to rip it off. They'll try everything to make you talk… No. He wasn't going to let anything happen to her. He wasn't going to let anybody lay a finger on her. Levi let go of the man's shirt and he started hitting, and punching, till the man's face was covered in nothing but blood and bruises. It almost felt like forever. Even his knuckles beneath the gloves were starting to hurt. But Levi didn't care.
No one was going to touch Nathalie. No one. He'd track down whoever wanted her, and he'd skin them alive. He'd rip them apart. Nathalie was his and no one else's. He didn't care what they wanted from her. He only cared about her safety. Nathalie grabbed his hand to stop him. He didn't give a fuck whether they needed the man alive to speak.
Still, soft eyes met his own, and hands grabbed his own, letting him know that he had gone too far. He hadn't even realised he was almost breathless from all the punching and kicking.
"We'll call this a break," Levi said coldly, before he shook away Nathalie's hand and he took off his gloves, storming out. Fingers, clenched. No one was going to even lay a finger on Nathalie. He wouldn't allow it.
Hange had a different idea into how to make Sannes speak. The poor man kept talking about how he believed in the peace behind the walls, and his loyalty over the King. He told them about silencing all those people who tried to bring change in this world. Killing them no matter how much they begged, all actions justified just to keep the peace. Nathalie could finally tell why they were so primitive technologically and scientifically. It was because the King had his Interior MP Squad to kill everyone who tried to bring something new to light.
That wasn't peace. That was oppression.
Still, Hange's plan worked. They had the man's subordinate, play the act of the guy who had given in and talked. Then the words slipped right out of Sannes's mouth. Reiss is the true Royal family. It all started to make sense.
"You mean, the rightful heir to the throne is…" Armin tried to say. "…Historia?"
"That's correct," Hange said. "And based on that knowledge, we assume that Eren and Historia have been taken to Lord Reiss," Hange turned at Moblit who took out a sketch that he himself had made.
He unrolled the piece of paper. "That's him,"
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Nathalie remained quiet. She watched Levi as he washed the blood off his gloves from the water they had gathered in a barrel. His knuckles were close to a deep purple colour. Probably from all that punching and hitting and kicking. She had seen Levi hurt somebody that hard before. Sure, he had hurt Eren harder back in that courtroom, but that was all staged. This one… it was pure anger. A part of Levi's that always frightened her. He never let that part of himself out. At least, not when she was around.
But she could tell he was furious. She could tell his teeth were gritted. His hands were rubbing almost harder than needed on the soft fabric of the blood-stained gloves. He had already washed out most of the blood, but he was still rubbing against it. She could tell he was still angry about before. About what the soldier had said. They'll try everything on you to make you talk. And her assumptions were correct. He would have wrecked the small room to pieces if she wasn't there to watch him.
His self-restraint never failed him though. He still had that dead look of boredom on his face, even though she could still tell everything that he was thinking. Nathalie was hesitant. She didn't want to get on his nerves. She didn't want to have him shout at her. What she realised in the end, was that she was slightly scared of him. She had learned dealing with all his attitudes, but this one, she wasn't familiar with.
"Levi-"
"Shut up, Nat,"
Nathalie bit her tongue. He'd never cut her firmly like this. Surely, she loved the harsh, authoritative tone in his voice, but not like this. His hand found the thick, fat wood of the barrel. Fingers clenched around it, snapping the wood to pieces beneath his grasp.
"You stupid fuck," He whispered beneath his breath, and she couldn't tell whether he was addressing to himself or her. But he turned around and looked at her, and before she even knew it, her back crushed against the brick wall, and his hands had trapped her there. "We shouldn't have gotten along this fucking plan. You shouldn't have opened your stupid mouth that day," Levi growled.
She knew what he was talking about. He was talking about a few nights ago, when she asked him to call for Erwin and Hange and tell them all about what she had figured out. It was the night they had come up with the plan that was now in motion. A plan to save everybody.
"If I hadn't, we wouldn't be having this plan-"
"A fucking plan that's going to FUCKING KILL YOU!"
Levi shouted at her unlike no other time. Nathalie took it. She'd take everything he'd throw at her, and in the end, she would know, that he was just worried. He was worried, and it drove him insane, and now he was making her see that one part of himself that he was letting out only when he'd been murdering people in cold blood back in the Underground whenever she wasn't watching.
She couldn't tell how long she remained silent, or how long he stared at her while she tried her best to avoid his gaze. He had scared her. He saw it in the slight way her hands trembled. No. He didn't want this. He didn't mean for this to happen. She was supposed to feel safe around him, not scared. What the hell was wrong with him? Where the hell was his self-restraint? He had just managed to scare the one person he cared about the most.
"I'm sorry," He knew these words weren't enough. They meant nothing.
"It's alright-"
Of course, she'd say that. And she was going to say it again, but he wasn't done. "I'm so sorry," He was just a weak, terrified man who couldn't stand the thought of losing her. That was all that he was. He was nothing more. Levi buried his face in her neck, seeking for comfort. Comfort that only she could provide. His hands slipped around her. Her own hands found his hair. Fingers slipped lazily and soothingly on his tormented head, bringing him nothing but relief while he had done nothing but scare her.
"It's alright, Levi," She pressed a kiss on his temple. His breaths brushed warm against her skin on her neck. Hands tightened around her almost painfully, but she wasn't going to complain. "I know you're worried, and scared-"
"I'm not scared," He cut her. Levi pulled back. Hands cupped her face. "I'm terrified,"
"Well, you shouldn't be, because whatever happens I'll always come back to you," Nathalie said shakily. A tear ran down her cheek and he kissed it away immediately.
"You can't know that," He pressed his forehead against her own.
"I've always been beside you, Levi, I promised you I'll never leave," Nathalie's eyes met his own. She could tell he too had tears that he wasn't letting come down. But she had promised him. She had promised him after the 57th Expedition, where they lost their first squad, he had made her promise him she'd never leave his side. "I promised… I promised I'll never-"
His lips clashed on top of her own, and he stole her breath and the unnecessary words. Yes, she had promised. She had promised she'd let him protect her. She had promised she'd let him take care of her, and hold her, and keep her safe. But he should make her feel safe around him. He should make her able to trust him with no second thoughts.
He kissed her like there was no tomorrow. His tongue dominated against her own and she let him, gladly. She would let him do anything to her if it meant pleasing him. His hands tightened around her again. It almost hurt. Nathalie squirmed in his mouth, but it only made him kiss her harder. His hands were all over her body, clutching on her clothes. Fingers dug harshly enough into the flesh of her hips to leave behind bruises, giving her just the right amount of pain, and pleasure, and love. She didn't care. Love can hurt sometimes. She'd take it all, so long as it was coming from him.
His hand slipped beneath her shirt. He released a breast from her tight bra and he trapped a sensitive nipple between his fingers, pinching hard enough to send another stinging pain. Dammit. She never thought she'd enjoy pain so much. Nathalie gasped. His tongue forced its way down her throat. Her body was knocked harshly against the wall once more. She gasped again. The air, knocked out of her. Her hand reached for him, to sneak beneath his shirt and touch him. He did not allow her. He caught her wrist, pinning her hand on the wall at the level of her head, showing her exactly who was in charge. Showing her that she couldn't move and do and say anything without his permission. It had always been that way. It had always been him the one to guide her, and she had wholeheartedly submitted to him.
He bit harshly down on her lip and Nathalie squirmed. He loved those helpless sounds that were knocked out of her. He loved having her at his mercy. She was his to dominate and kiss and bite and touch. She was all his. He buried his face in her neck and he started biting and feasting on her skin like a wild animal, eliciting gasps and moans that drove him insane. He wanted so much to do to her here and now. He wanted to hear her scream his name. He wanted to make her beg.
He could have had her right there, and he wouldn't care less about the brats listening. They could learn a thing or two or ten. But the loud sound of something breaking came from downstairs. It was either the sound from intruders, or just the brats had gone insane. They pulled back only to stare at each other with knowing looks. They had to check this out.