Thirty-six… thirty-seven… thirty-eight…

…thirty-nine… Forty.

The lashes came one by one. The questions came loud and demanding. Where's Johannes Burgess and Amelia Ksaver? Her father and her mother. She'd be damned if she knew. What do you know on titan biology? Do you know how to turn titans back into humans? Did you figure it out?! Her lips just wouldn't part and say anything, no matter how harsh the pain was. No matter how much blood was running out of the split skin of her back. Whipping was the kind of torture that they would do to prisoners of high importance. She doubted they'd do it to Erwin.

Nathalie's limp body was thrown on the hard stone floor of her cell. They had dragged her all the way there. There was no way she could walk. Not after all those burn marks and cuts and wounds and bruises. Nathalie stayed on the position that they had thrown her in. Her hands and feet, tied in chains. She couldn't move much anyway. She was too beaten to move. Her whole body ached and bled. Her blood was making a mess on the floor, but she hardly had the energy to care.

She just stared at the iron bars of her cell. Her bruised cheek pressed painfully against the stony floor, but lying on her back wasn't an option. She couldn't even begin to imagine how her back must have looked like.

Nathalie knew this was coming. She knew it when Sannes said this: How long do you think you can avoid being tortured like this? They're going to try everything on you to make you talk. And he was right about his subordinates. It was the Interior Squad that had taken upon themselves to make her speak. No. She gritted her teeth. Fingers fisted in their restraints using the last portions of strength that she had left. She couldn't believe humanity was doing this to her.

She had fought for humanity. She had given it all for humanity. She had risked her life, again and again. She had stayed entire nights awake either in the labs, or dealing with nightmares and the pressure as a Scout. She had lost her friends. She had lost her squad, all for the sake of humanity and for what?! To be tortured like this. To be punished just for trying to help them.

That injustice burned deep within her chest. It felt like a heated blade digging scars into her skin. If she hated her body before, now she wouldn't even dare to look in the mirror. She couldn't even begin to count how many new scars they had given her. But she'd never get to look again in any mirror anyway. She was going to die. After they'd be done trying to make her speak, and they would have nothing else to do, they were going to kill her, and she was never going to see Levi again.

Levi…

Tears were streaming down her cheeks before she even knew it. Levi. She remembered the look in his eyes while he screamed her name. When he told her "You promised!". She'd never forget the betrayal in those grey pupils, filled with tears. She had hurt him. She had broken the promise that he had asked of her to make. She had promised to never leave his side, but she did, and now she was going to die, and he was going to live knowing that it was all his fault.

A sob reached her throat. She didn't want him to live in despair. She didn't want him to live knowing that it was all his fault, but she knew him. She knew him well enough to say, that one day, or night, when he was alone, he was going to stab a knife into his chest, and she was going to be the reason. All that time, all those years they had spent them in each other's side, and now, they were torn apart, and it hurt so damn much, because that wasn't the future that she wanted for him.

She wanted him to find someone that would actually keep their promises. Someone who wasn't going to hurt him as much as she had. Someone better. He never deserved someone so undeserving of him. She wasn't enough. She never had been.

Nathalie wept silently, there, in the dark, wallowing in guilt and self-pity. She was going to be the reason that Levi was going to suffer. She hated herself now more than any other time. What wouldn't she give for the chance for him to hold her just once more? Just once more. She wanted to feel his arms around her. His warmth. His comfort. The safety. The reassurance. She could be slipping down the deepest hole of depression and misery, and self-disgust, but all that he'd have to do was hold her and he'd bring her back up.

But she was never going to be seeing him ever again. Damn me. She gritted her teeth. Damn it all. She had a reason for being here and now. She had at least made sure her kids were going to be safe. They were going to be okay. Levi was going to keep them safe. But she was going to die, and he was going to suffer for that. Maybe she did deserve being beaten up like this after all. She deserved all forty of those lashes. She deserved the new scars dug to her skin by the heated blades of their daggers. The unruly punches and kicks that crushed on her weak body. Yeah. She deserved it all.

"Nathalie?"

That was probably coming from her imagination. She wouldn't be surprised if she was hallucinating. Not with all that blood loss. There was no way this was the Commander's voice, and there was no way the Commander was there. There was no way Erwin was in that very same cell. No. She was alone, and miserable because she deserved to be.

"Nathalie,"

But it came again, and she had to look up to make sure whether her ears were failing her or not. But he was there. Erwin was there, beaten up just as much as she was. His back, against the brick wall. His hands tied in chains, resting in his lap. Missing nails, just like her own. A swollen eye. Bleeding lips. His white shirt, drenched in blood, just like her own.

"C- Commander?"

She couldn't believe it. He was actually there. She didn't know what made her, but she tried to crawl towards him, even though her limbs ached. Her wounds burned. She grunted and struggled, but he helped her. Hands were still tied together, but he passed them around her over her head. Her own hands found his shirt, grasping tightly and dragging herself closer. His arms tightened around her and pulled her up against him with ease.

Nathalie found herself burying her face in his chest. Her fingers clenched around his shirt. Her body, so small in comparison, rested on top of his own. All that Erwin could do was look down at her bleeding back. The flawed skin where her shirt clung on the blood that streamed out. She was weak, and trembling. Her skin, porcelain white from the blood loss. It hurt him more than he had realised.

It was night. It was dark, but the moonlight stole in through the one window in their cell. "T- They've got me, Erwin… I- I'm so sorry," Nathalie wept against his chest and it broke his heart listening to her and watching her. It was all his fault. It was his fault that she was there, hurt and suffering. That she was being chased in the first place.

"No, it's my fault," Erwin said. His hands tightened around her, but careful. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He rested his chin on top of her head and he closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Nathalie,"

"I- It's alright, Erwin, I-"

"I won't let you die," He cut her and she lifted her head up to look at him.

He hated watching her cheeks drenched in tears. Shiny bright blue eyes that matched his own, stared back in question. Her hair, a mess, but her face, beautiful. Breathtaking even beaten up and messed like this. Even when she was crying. He felt a sudden urge to kiss her tears away, but he stopped himself. She wasn't his. No matter how he was holding her now. With her small, weak, trembling body on top of his own, and her face in his chest, and her hands, grasped on his shirt. His own arms, around her. This was just a dream that was going to end really fast. She wasn't his. She could never be.

But he pressed his forehead against her own. His breath brushed warm against her trembling lips. She barely knew what was happening right now. But she had no energy to think. She just listened to him as he spoke. She just listened to the promises that he made. She barely knew why she wasn't pushing him away already. Levi was somewhere suffering right now, and she was allowing this man to hold her. I am going to die anyway.

"I cannot let you die, Nathalie," Erwin drew her attention. If Levi could make her smile, then so be it. He was alright with it. He didn't care about his happiness and his life as much as he cared about her own. All that he had achieved was bring her pain and torture, and maybe even death. Erwin had brought death to a lot of his comrades. But her too? It hurt so damn much. No. He wasn't going to allow it. He was going to bring her back to Levi, and they could be happy, together. "You will go back to him. You'll get to see Levi again. I'll make sure of that," He promised. "Or at least, I'm going to die trying,"

"No!" Nathalie's fingers clenched around his shirt. Eyes widened in terror, and she had no idea why she had reacted that way. Could I… No. She was too tired to think now. Erwin was her Commander. He was important. She just shut her eyes and she buried her face back in his neck and she hated herself for that, but she was so tired. "You're going to live. We're both going to live. We'll make it out of here," She found she was only trying to convince herself, but Erwin still stared wide-eyed down at her.

Does she… No. It was hopeless to think that she could ever… They had more pressing matters at hand. Their torturers would be back in just a few hours. They had to get some rest till then. The body recovers greatly during sleep. He reminded himself.

Erwin rested his cheek back on top of her head and he closed his eyes. "Sleep, Nathalie. You need rest,"

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Next Morning.

Hange had been pacing around. Moblit couldn't tell how long he stared at her as she cursed beneath her breath, and made a few stops to bang her head against the wall of a nearby building. They were hiding in a small street behind a large abandoned building.

Nathalie's going to die… Nathalie's going to die… Nathalie's going to die… Nathalie's going to die… Nathalie's going to FUCKING DIE! "FUCK!" Hange kicked the soil harshly enough to make her leg hurt. She had the rest of her squad, making their preparations for her plan, and the only one there to watch her was Moblit.

"Hange! Try not to be too loud, please!" Moblit reminded her. They were still in hiding. MPs could detect them any moment.

"I don't fucking care! I will split their fucking skulls open if I fucking have to!" Hange growled.

Moblit sighed. "I'm worried about Nathalie too-"

"No, I'm not just worried. I'm driven out of my fucking mind!" Hange growled again as she approached him and grabbed him by the shirt. "Useless! We were so fucking useless, Moblit! Of course, that idiotic bitch was going to give herself in! But what about us?! What did we do, dammit?!"

Nothing. Moblit sighed. He took her hands in his own. Maybe he should have done something. But they weren't prepared for an attack like this. They weren't prepared, they were caught off guard, and acting at the heat of the moment wasn't a good plan either.

"Shit. That wasn't in the plan, Moblit. That wasn't in the plan, if it was, we would've known that we'd be-"

"Hange," Moblit cut her and she finally looked up at him. She had tried to pull away, but his fingers were tight around her wrists, keeping her in place. "We'll save her. Give me the word and I'll go find her," He barely had any idea what he was saying. He barely knew how he'd do that, but he was going to do anything to make Hange fill a little less guilty.

Hange looked up at him, caught by surprise. She wasn't expecting him to suggest that. Still, "No! It's too dangerous to go on your own,"

"The only dangerous thing I see here is leaving you unsupervised," Moblit teased and Hange almost laughed. He felt proud of that.

She groaned and finally pulled her hands away from his. "Alright. Say I give the order. How are you going to do it?"

Moblit took a moment to think. "She's probably in Mitras right now. I bet she's being tortured and kept as a prisoner in the cells of the Interior Police's Headquarters,"

"That's probably correct. How do you plan to get there? Not everybody can pass through the Capital. Especially us. The Scouts are basically considered criminals now," Hange said.

"But if everything goes smoothly with the plan, then the coup will be successful, and all that'd be left to do is to take her out of there," Moblit said.

Hange realised he was right. If she remembered correctly, Erwin was going to be brought in front of the king in just a few hours, to have his last words before his execution. Hange smiled.

"Alright. After Flegel makes those stupid MPs to confess, and after the government is overthrown, we head straight to the Capital,"