The door snapped open and people barged in. Nathalie's body tensed. No, no, no, no… not again. She didn't want to get dragged in the torture room again. She didn't want to go through this all over. Her fingers clenched around Erwin's shirt, clinging onto the only person who could save her. The only person who could keep her safe. Her eyes widened as she met his own. His own eyes widened too. His hands tightened around her. He didn't want to let go of her either.

"Erwin!" She cried out as the soldiers of the Interior Squad tore her away from him and forced them both back on their feet.

No. She realised, she wasn't scared about getting tortured. She was scared about Erwin getting hanged. Her body still ached. Her wounds were still open but the bleeding had stopped. Every move that she made was to her disadvantage, but she didn't care. She didn't care the least. She couldn't let them kill him. She couldn't lose this man. She didn't know why, but… No… Erwin's my Commander. He's important. She tried to fight against her guards as the others dragged Erwin back on his feet, and led him out of the cell. No matter the pain, she fought against the guards that were keeping her restrained. She groaned in pain and frustration.

"NO! Erwin!"

Erwin fought against his own guards, just to approach her. He caught her chin between his fingers. His hands, still tied in front of him, but he gave her a reassuring smile. He pressed a kiss on her forehead that caught her by surprise but strengthened her somehow.

"Everything's going to be okay… we'll make it out of here, Nathalie… you'll make it out of here… I promise-"

"Get moving!" The soldiers kicked him hard in the stomach and Erwin coughed harshly. His whole body folded in pain. Nathalie hated so much watching him in pain, but there was nothing that she could do. She felt useless.

A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched Erwin being dragged out of the cell. No… so, so useless. Before she even knew it, they had dropped her limb body back on the floor and they started punching and kicking. Most kicks landed on her belly, as if on purpose. It brought excruciating pain in her abdomen. Nathalie screamed. Her hands tried to shield her belly, but they kicked her hands away.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Why were they doing this?! They hadn't even asked any questions. What were they trying to achieve by putting her in pain like that? She was lying in a pool of her own blood before she even knew it. The pain in her abdomen, immense. Fingers clutched around the bruised flesh of her lower belly. Her blood, running out and soaking her pants and the floor beneath her. It wasn't supposed to be so much. The pain wasn't supposed to be so much either.

"I think we killed it," One of the guards said to the other. Nathalie couldn't move. She couldn't begin to think what they were talking about. I think we killed it. She was pregnant, wasn't she? The vomiting, the dizziness. She had thought of the possibilities of being pregnant, but she never got the time to check it out. She didn't want to believe it.

And just like that the pain started to subside, replaced by emotional pain instead. Worse than the physical. Far worse. She had been carrying Levi's child all along. They hadn't been careful. They didn't want to be. Or at least, she thought as much. She didn't even try to start crying. Nathalie laughed. She laughed like she hadn't laughed before. A combination of blood and saliva slipped down her lips as she pressed her hands on the floor trying to force her body to stand up, ignoring the blood that covered her waist down. The iron taste of blood had been in her mouth all night.

Crying or laughing no longer made a difference. She had no idea what to think. How to feel. She had no idea whether she should just let herself go insane or stand idle and keep taking it. It was still funny though. She had just lost her child. She had lost all chances of ever seeing Levi again. She had lost her Commander. And all just because she was trying to help humanity. She was so damn stupid for trying.

Trying to save the unsaved. It was hilarious.

"Huh?" The men looked down at her surprised. Having the prisoner to start laughing like this after being beaten up like that, was the last thing that they expected. It was a miracle she had managed to stand up. She kicked the one, harshly enough to make him lose his balance and drop on the floor. The other pulled out a rifle, but Nathalie elbowed him harshly enough to knock a tooth out. She grabbed the rifle with her tied hands, and she planted a bullet in the other man's head.

The other man passed his hand around her neck from behind. Nathalie grunted as she knocked him against the wall with a cry of pain and frustration. She stepped on his foot harshly with her own. She elbowed him hard in the stomach and before he even knew it, she had passed the chains of her hands around his neck. Nathalie groaned as she put all the strength that she had into choking the panicked man to death.

The man gasped for air and dropped to his knees. His hands reached for the chains, trying to pull them off, but her strength greatly overpowered him and she didn't even know why. She didn't fucking care. She was going to kill this man, even if it was the last thing that she was going to do. She straddled him. Her knee pressed against his back. His face pressed against the harsh, stone floor.

"Cowards… you kill an unborn child…" She growled against his ear. His body shook like a helpless fish. She enjoyed every bit of those gasps, and squirming sounds that he made. "…I'll make sure to go to hell… just to watch you burn,"

The man's body stopped shaking, and finally his final breaths were knocked out of him. His muscles loosened. A dead body, limp beneath her. Nathalie fell back. Body rested against the rough brick wall. Her blood had started drying off on the floor. Pain radiated from her abdomen, reminding her what had just happened. It took a moment for her to fully realise it. The blood in her hands, in her thighs, on her clothes. The blood of her child.

She hadn't realised it. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She had lost it. She had lost it from nothing but her sheer stupidity. If she hadn't given herself in that night, that wouldn't be happening now. If she hadn't given in, then a moment would come when she was going to hold her baby in her arms. No. Her kids would be dead if she hadn't. But now, hers and Levi's child was gone, and she was never going to get the chance to hold it, and it was all her fault. If only she knew it. Who am I kidding?! Even if she had known, she would still sacrifice herself and her child for the others. That stupid she was.

Nathalie let out a loud cry of pain and exasperation. Her hands clutched on her belly. The loss, too big to handle. She could handle losing friends, family… even Levi. But this. How could she hope to deal with this? It was her fault.

"I'm so sorry, Levi…" she choked out between sobs. Blood-red hands found her face. Fingers dug in her hair. "…I'm so sorry," she repeated, even though she knew nobody was going to hear her. Nobody was coming to her rescue. Levi wasn't there. She was alone, in a room with two more corpses. Men who had just obeyed orders from their scum superiors. But it was still her fault. She wasn't a mother, but she was failing as one already.

She could never face Levi after this. She wouldn't even tell him. At least, she didn't plan to. But he'd find out. She could never lie to him. She spent the last two days wishing she could be with him, and now she didn't want to. How could she face him now?

Strong arms picked her up and snapped her back to reality. She hadn't realised somebody had unlocked the chains from around her hands and feet. Her wrists burned, but not as much as her belly. Her entire attention focused on the pain. She hadn't even realised Hange was there. She looked up. Moblit was the one holding her. Nathalie felt instant relief washing over her. She closed her eyes. Head rolled back in exhaustion from the blood loss.

"Nat… NAT!" Hange finally drew her attention. "We've got you. Everything's going to be alright. You just need to do me a favour and stay awake! Stay awake, dammit!" Hange shouted alarmed. They were moving now. No- they were running. Hastily. Hange turned at Moblit. Eyes, wide in alarm. "Moblit, we need to take her to a hospital. Fast! She's going to bleed out!"

●▬▬▬▬▬๑۩۞۩๑▬▬▬▬▬●

Same night.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. But he had to lead. He had his brats to take care of. If he didn't keep them safe, then Nathalie giving herself in would have been for nothing. Levi stopped thinking. He had to shut her out. He was never going to see her again. But how does one shut out the most important person in their life?

How?!

Levi stared blankly in the distance. His back against a tree trunk. His brats, all around him, sleeping in their sleeping bags. They had lost their cheery attitude. They'd barely talk, and if they would, it would only be for the sake of discussing their plans of survival. The Scouts were being chased and were on the run, but they found decent cover in the woods outside Stohess.

Those kids from the Military Police. Hitch and Marlow had helped them find a member of the Interior Police. They had tied him to a tree. Levi could beat him just fine with his boots. But he did not forget the conversation that he had with the guy.

"Where did they take Eren, Historia and Nathalie?" Levi asked.

"You bastards… you think you're so brave… that post was kept by recruits. They barely even knew how to wipe their own asses. No one's gonna think you're heroes for beating them down,"

"Yeah, the guilt's tearing me apart," Levi said sarcastically before he stuffed his boot in the man's mouth. "What really gets me is this mouth of yours. I'm gonna suggest that you start talking while you're still able to use it," Levi pulled his foot back, before kicking him hard across the face. He was tired of this. He grabbed the man by the shirt, lifting him up like a feather, and he knocked him hard against the tree. "Nathalie Burgess," He growled. "Where did they take her?!"

The man coughed harshly. "Burgess… the Outsider. She's not meant to be here. She's too dangerous to be allowed to live. My subordinates will have already disposed of her. Even if you find her, it'll only be her corpse-"

The man screamed in pain. Now Levi had him facing the tree trunk, and he had snapped his arm broken. He wasn't going to hold back now. He snapped the wrist broken too and the man screamed again.

"That's right. That's what you get for not answering my question," Levi said. His face, dead as always, but his heart hammered against his chest in a maddening pace. He didn't want to believe she was dead. "Some Scouts' lives are more valuable than others. Only those dumb enough agree to join us," Levi left the man to collapse on his knees. This was getting on his nerves. "Again, where did they take Eren, Historia and Nathalie?!"

"I- I don't know! Nobody told me, I swear! Kenny Ackerman doesn't like to make his business known!"

Levi raised an eyebrow. Ackerman was Mikasa's last name, wasn't it? He wasn't sure he wanted to know how they might be related. All those years, and only now was he learning the man's last name. "Ackerman. I know Kenny. Is that his last name?"

"It is!"

Levi frowned. Kenny Ackerman knew of Nathalie's origins too. He groaned. "He never was one of sharing much information. Not important stuff anyway. But I bet you have a rough idea. You best try to remember," Levi grabbed his other hand.

The man squirmed. "No! Stop-"

"You still have plenty of bones left for me to break,"

"Dammit! Are you insane?!"

That was a funny question. Here he thought Nathalie was insane. After all those years he spent with her, he wouldn't be surprised if he was insane too. "Maybe,"

The man didn't speak anyway. Levi made sure he'd blow his head off when the kids weren't watching. Still, he couldn't forget his words. She's not meant to be here. She's too dangerous to be allowed to live. My subordinates will have already disposed of her. No. His hand found his forehead that burned with pain. He didn't want to think of that. Could she really be dead? Could he have lost her? Just like everyone else?

He couldn't forget her face. The tears that streamed down her cheeks as she shouted his name whilst she was being taken away from him. It had been two days. Two days were enough time to kill her. Levi buried his face in his hands. Just breathing got harder than before. What was he going to do if she was dead? What was he going to do without her?! How could she?! How could she break her promise?! Nathalie never broke her promises. At least, not the ones that he had asked of her to make.

The pain stung in his chest, in his eyes. Tears gathered in his lower eyelids again. There was no point in crying silently there in the dark. There was no point in mourning. He knew this was going to happen one way or another. He knew the day would come when he'd have to lose her, just like he had lost everyone else. He could never have this normality that he longed for. A family. A wife. He wanted to make her his wife. He wanted to have a family with her, in a peaceful world. Their world was anything but peaceful. He couldn't have that. He couldn't have happiness.

Happiness is just not meant for some people. He reminded himself once more and gritted his teeth painfully. Nathalie…

"I love you, Nat,"

"I love you too, Levi,"

No one was ever going to respond the same way. No one would be able to mimic her touch. Her kisses. The soft strokes of her fingers in his hair whenever she'd hold him. He had lost her just like he had lot everyone else. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't even understand how he was keeping that same dead expression on his face. It fooled everyone. The act that he put up, and the mask that had his feelings covered behind, it fooled everyone but her.

She was the only one who knew. And he had lost her, and it was all his fault. He should have fought. He shouldn't just stand and stare at her whilst she threatened to take her life. She wasn't going to do it. Or maybe she was. Sometimes he couldn't tell what she was thinking. She knew him too well, but he could never say the same about her. She was always unpredictable.

He couldn't even understand how he was sitting there, idle. Not doing anything. He had no answers. He had no leads. He had no idea where she was and what was happening to her now. She was being tortured. She was being hanged. It was one or the other. And he was so useless, he couldn't do anything about it. He hated himself at this moment more than ever.

He stopped thinking of these when he heard something. He jumped to his feet. "Get up, we got company," Levi said to the kids, who jumped off their sleep right away. They reached for their rifles but they calmed down when they realised it was Hange and Moblit.

"It's just us," Hange said as she and Moblit lifted their hands in surrender. "Erwin's plan worked. The coup was a success. The government withdrew all charges against the Survey Corps. In short, the Scouts are no longer considered criminals,"

The kids cried out in excitement. They started jumping around and hugging each other screaming happily. It almost made Levi smile. But he turned at Hange, with a look of hope in his eyes.

"What about Nat?!" Levi asked worriedly. "Did you find her? Where is she? Is she okay?!"

Hange and Moblit did not answer his question. They exchanged a look first, but still no one felt like saying it. Levi noticed the hesitation. His heart hammered against his chest. Eyes widened. Levi grabbed Hange by the shirt.

"Tell me, dammit! Is she okay?!" He growled.

Hange still couldn't find the words. She only shook her head, and it drove Levi insane.