Next day dawned faster than she expected. She felt rough fingers gently brushing over her exposed shoulder. She was in her white, baggy, sleeveless nightgown. Levi was in comfortable black sweatpants. He needed no shirt to sleep in. Her cheek pressed flat on top of his bare chest, and an arm was thrown across his belly, keeping her body pressed against his own.
Nathalie felt the warmth of his lips as he pressed a kiss on her temple, and his one hand slipped around her waist, sneaking slightly beneath the soft fabric of her gown. Rough fingers blushed gently across her soft skin. She looked so peaceful there, in his arms. Eyes closed. Her face, totally at peace. Her hair, a beautiful, pale-brown mess. Pink lips, pressed together. Soft, and puffy. Perfect. He was going to marry her today. He wanted no huge ceremonies and luxurious buildings. No grand celebrations and no countless guests. He wanted none of these. Just him and her and their brats. He couldn't even begin to imagine how they were going to react when Hange and Moblit were going to show up unannounced.
Levi had told Hange yesterday before he left the Survey Corps HQ. The way Hange screamed in his ear from the excitement, he'd never forget it. Of course, he knew he had to ask Nathalie first, but he never doubted that she'd agree. Still, he couldn't help staring down at her. The blue, early morning light entered through the window. A soft breeze danced with the curtain, and it almost felt like he was living into a dream. Levi couldn't imagine how miserable and depressing his life would be if he had lost her. The night he helplessly watched as Kenny and his soldiers took her away, it was the worst night he could remember living through in that wretched life of his.
They had been through hell, but she was always there to make that hell sometimes even sweeter than paradise. And it felt just like it right now. I love you. I love you so much. Her words from last night will always echo in his mind whenever he'd need to keep himself sane. He had her and their brats to look after. These were his reasons to remain sane into such an insane world.
He was snatched out of his thoughts when she pressed a kiss down on his bare chest. She pressed kisses in his neck, all the way up to his sharp chin, till she found his lips. She was finally awake. She left a peck on his lips and she smiled down at him.
"Good morning," Nathalie said sweetly. A hand slipped away from his chest and cupped his cheek. He smiled up at her as well. His smiles. They suited him so well. He would only smile in front of her like this.
"Good morning, Nat," His hand found her face. A rough thumb caught her cheek and urged her to lean down and finally join their lips into a proper kiss. His tongue slipped right in. He gave her own a gentle swirl that had her humming. Eyes closed. He had never kissed her as soft as this time. Just a tender press of his lips against her own.
The couple about to get married, spent the night before their marriage together. It was probably so damn undignified. Nathalie hadn't even realised she was getting married today to the man who now had her beneath him. His limbs were planted all around her, pressing down with his weight on the mattress. His mouth had let go of her own, and he was now pressing kisses and nips down the smooth skin of her neck.
Her fingers found his hair. She bit her lip when he added another bitemark to her skin. His tongue snaked out, slipping gently around the bite and that's when the realisation actually hit her. Her eyes widened.
"Levi?"
He only hummed in response. His mouth, too busy with kissing her white, soft skin. Hands reached down, pushing her gown up and reaching for her body beneath.
"We're… we're getting married… today,"
He hummed again. He only continued kissing and suckling on her skin. It drove her insane at how good he was at this, but…
"We're getting married!"
At that, he finally lifted his head off of her neck. Eyes met her own. Wet lips parted. "I heard you, I'm not deaf," He said sarcastically.
Nathalie frowned. What's wrong with him?! "Don't you think we should- uh… start… panicking about it?"
"There's no arrangements to make. No stupid guests to welcome. Why should we panic?" Levi raised an eyebrow.
Nathalie realised he was making a pretty good point. "Do the kids know?"
Levi shook his head "They'll find out when Hange and Moblit arrive," He buried his face back in her neck and he lied back down beside her.
He just wanted her to hold him for now, and she did not disappoint. Now his cheek was pressing against her own chest. His nose nuzzled in her skin and his one arm was thrown around her making sure to keep her close. Making sure she wouldn't leave and go anywhere. He knew she'd never leave. But it was just an instinct. Everyone that he had ever loved had died or left. But her. Nathalie. His Nathalie. He'd never allow her to leave. He remembered the night they took her. Never again.
If he had lost her, no one would be holding him now. He'd have no one to clutch onto. No one to caress his hair, and wrap their arms around him. He'd have no one. And the thought of ever even getting married would be long gone for good. But now he had her. She was there. She was holding him. She pressed kisses on his temple and he could do nothing but close his eyes.
His hand slipped on her belly. Fingers slipped beneath her short gown and he touched her skin. He couldn't believe there was life in there a few days back. And that life held a part of his own. But they had now lost it and he never thought the loss of someone he never knew could still hurt so much. Her hand found his own on her belly, and he laced their fingers together.
Nathalie breathed shakily. She could tell what he was thinking. "I- I'm so sorry, Levi," Her voice trembled. She hadn't properly apologised.
Levi lifted his face off her chest and he looked at her. She gave him a bitter smile. Her eyes shined with tears. No… he didn't want to see her cry. He cupped her cheek. "It wasn't your fault, Nat,"
"It was… If I had known… I- If I hadn't given myself in then maybe I wouldn't have… We wouldn't have-"
It was so hard to say it, and he didn't want her to say it. He could tell she wanted this. He could tell he wanted it too. But they could move on. He didn't want to hear her talk about how she had failed about something that really wasn't her fault. His thumb found her lips and he shushed her. Levi leaned closer and he kissed her eyelids, wiping away the tears before they'd get the chance to slip down. He couldn't begin to imagine in how much fear and in how much pain she must've been the day he found her in the hospital.
"It wasn't your fault, you hear me? It was mine. I let you. I let them take you," Levi pressed his forehead against her own. "I didn't protect you like I was supposed to,"
"Stop taking all the blame," Nathalie said. She had figured him out, hadn't she? Of course, she had. She knew him so well. He'd always get the blame so that she wouldn't have to. "I asked you to let me help you carry your burdens, didn't I?"
He bit his tongue. "And I asked you to never leave my side," He buried his face back in her neck and he sighed. "I guess we both break our promises. But after we get married today…" he planted a rough bite in her skin that made her gasp. "…you'll be mine. Mine to command and protect," He licked the new bite and she squirmed at the stinging pain. He looked up at her "You'll only do as I say, understand?"
Oh God, she was going to lose so much of her control in this damned relationship. But so long as it pleased him, it was alright. She was his. His to command and protect. Just as he had said. Possessive bastard. She couldn't believe his possessiveness turned her on. "Yes… yes… yours. I've always had been,"
He smirked. It sounded so perfect coming from her. He should marry her while he still had her. He buried his face back in her neck and he sighed, closing his eyes. He had given it a lot of thought. They should make the best of what they had whilst they still had each other. Who knows what was going to happen in the next Expedition. Levi wasn't particularly fond of Erwin, but the man knew exactly how to strategize and predict, and plan things down to the tiniest detail.
He felt another soft kiss pressed down on his temple. A tender thumb found his cheek. "Stop thinking," She said.
She knew him so well. She could tell from the way he clutched on her. From the way he buried his face in her neck and he shut his eyes, thinking of nothing but the worst outcomes. Levi always overthought everything. He'd always keep quiet because his mind was always so damn loud. But she was always there to remind him that he should just stop overthinking and torturing his mind. What was he going to do without her? No one had her patience. Her kindness. Her tenderness.
"So precious," He whispered against her skin. He pressed another kiss down on her chest that was exposed by her gown. He pressed another kiss and another, and he repeated the same two words again and again. It earned him a giggle that jumped through her chest and echoed sweetly in his ears.
She cupped his face and urged him to look up at her. Magnificent blue eyes caught his own. Lips, only just a few inches apart. A smile spread across her lips. The smile that made his heart flutter. "You're precious to me too, Levi,"
He never thought anybody would ever say that to him. Him. The man everybody was so scared to be around. The most ruthless Captain of the Scouts. So emotionless and heartless. She was the only one who could see right through the act that he put up. He could've caught her lips and he could have had her right there. He'd make her scream and beg and he'd barely care about the brats listening from downstairs. But a knock came on the door.
"Uh, sir, Nat, Section Commander Hange and Moblit are here," Armin's voice came from the outside. Levi groaned in irritation and buried his face in her neck. "Uh, sir, they're talking about a… a wedding?"
"You answer," He mumbled against her skin and Nathalie rolled her eyes. Of course.
"W- We'll be right there, darling!" Nathalie said.
"Okay, we'll wait!" Armin left and Nathalie turned and looked at Levi who just didn't seem to want to get off of her. His face, still in her neck. A hand on her hip. He was in denial, wasn't he? He just wanted to spend an entire day on the bed with her. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is. He frowned. Still, it was his idea to get married today so suddenly.
"You know, I can't get dressed if you're on top of me," Nathalie grinned. Her fingers were still in his hair, caressing soothingly.
He sighed in her neck. "If you keep stroking my hair like that, there's no way I'm getting off of you," He mumbled and she grinned.
A harsh smack landed down on his shoulder and his eyes shot open. It didn't hurt, but it was sudden, and something he definitely did not expect from her. He lifted his face off her neck and he looked down at her in utter confusion.
A mischievous smile spread across her lips. "That seems to have worked,"
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"What do you mean they're getting married?!" Jean's voice came loud from downstairs. "Nat's been talking to us three hours straight about how much of a jerk the Captain can be,"
"Oh? Did she now?" The Captain's voice came from behind. Everybody tensed up and Nathalie chuckled nervously as Levi turned and shot her a glare.
"I… have no idea what Jean's talking about," Nathalie said and Levi sighed.
"Captain!" Connie cried out. "Is it true what the Section Commander's saying?!"
"Wait!" Sasha's eyes widened. She caught Nathalie by her shoulders. "Nathalie! For real? Today?" She gasped. "Is there gonna be food afterwards?!"
"Isn't it kind of… rushed?" Armin asked.
"Relax," Eren placed a hand on Armin's shoulder. "They've known each other for twenty-five years. It's anything but rushed,"
Mikasa nodded. "That's true,"
Nathalie opened her mouth to speak and but Hange cut her. Hange ran towards the couple and pulled them both in a tight, suffocating hug. "OH MY GOD, IT'S HAPPENING!" Her hands only tightened around their necks and for a moment Nathalie couldn't breathe. "It's happening, it's happening, IT'S HAPPENING!"
"Hange! You're gonna choke them both!" Moblit cried out as he rushed towards the three and pulled Hange away. Levi was very close to kneeing Hange in the stomach, but thank goodness Moblit was there to restrain the mad scientist. "Have you no restraint at all?! They need to be actually alive for their wedding,"
"I'M SORRY, IT'S SO… so…" Hange started crying before she pulled Nathalie in a tight hug and sobbed on her shoulder. "I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO! You should've seen how Levi launched on Erwin last night…" she pulled back. "…IT WAS EPIC!"
"Whoah! Whoah! Wait! What did we miss?!" Jean cried out, eyes widened.
"You mean, the Commander and the Captain, they actually-" Eren tried to say only for Connie to cut him.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Levi rubbed his temple. He was already getting a headache. "Connie, quit your blubbering. No one's fighting right now," He groaned in irritation.
"Sasha! Stop eating our breakfast!" Jean cried out as he snatched the girl off the kitchen counter, where there was the bread and a jar of strawberry jam that Nathalie had made a few weeks back.
"I WASN'T EATING!" Sasha cried out incoherently with her mouth full and Armin with Connie started scolding her.
"So, wait, if Nat's getting married, then somebody's gotta walk her down the aisle," Eren said. His hand found his chin.
"And of course, that's gotta be me," Jean said with a smirk.
"As if! If someone's closer to Nat, it's me!" Connie cried out, as he stopped scolding Sasha and focused on the much more pressing matter at hand.
"You two, back off!" Eren growled pointing at his two friends. "I'll walk her down the aisle!"
"No fucking way!"
"Nat likes me more!" Jean cried out.
"Who the fuck ever said that?!" Eren cried out.
Hange, Moblit, Levi and Nathalie just stared as the kids groaned and talked all at once. Armin and Mikasa continued scolding Sasha whilst Eren, Connie and Jean were at each other's throats ready to start fighting and wrecking the kitchen.
Hange cringed. "They're so… chaotic,"
Levi groaned. "Tell me about it," He rubbed his temple once more. "They never listen to me," He tried to hold back another groan of irritation.
"How do you deal with this?!" Moblit asked confusedly.
Still, Nathalie wrapped a white apron around her waist, and approached the kids. She started talking to them and telling them what to do. Hange and Moblit were greatly impressed by the way that Nathalie handled and resolved the chaos.
"I don't. She does," Levi said. A small smirk spread on his lips. What the hell was he going to do without her?
"Alright, Eren, can you take care of the tea for me?" Nathalie said.
"On it!"
"Mikasa, go grab some firewood for the oven," Nathalie said and the girl nodded setting off right away. "Jean, grab two plates,"
"Sure!"
"Sasha," Nathalie turned at the girl who had her face stuffed with another slice of bread. Nathalie laughed and patted the girl's head. "We'll bake some more bread afterwards,"
"Sure thing, Nat!"
"We'll need it if Sasha keeps stuffing her face like that," Connie frowned.
"Hey!" Sasha complained.
"It's alright you two," Nathalie got between them both and she pulled a few teacups from the shelf above them. "Sasha's going to help me out bake some bread afterwards and she's going to make up for it," Nathalie said and Connie's frown disappeared.
He shrugged. "Sounds fair,"
Nathalie gave them both a pat on their heads, and she carried the teacups on a tray towards the table. She looked at Hange, Moblit and Levi who were just staring at her for some reason that she couldn't tell. Nathalie just ignored it.
"Did you guys get some breakfast before coming here?" Nathalie asked turning at Moblit and Hange. Maybe she should add two more cups.
Before Hange and Moblit got to say anything, Levi walked to sit by the head of the table and he spoke. "Come, sit. There's plenty of tea,"
There's no way they could refuse that. Everybody sat around the table. Sasha and Connie began stuffing their faces with slices of bread and strawberry jam. Mikasa brought the big kettle that stored the tea and Nathalie helped her serve it all around the teacups that were spread on the table. They talked for a while. Of course, Levi wasn't the one to speak a lot. He'd just nod and hum in response, or shake his head. Nathalie spoke enough for the two of them.
Hange turned at Moblit who was sitting beside her. She tangled her arm around his own and she pressed some of her weight onto him. "Mobby! Take out the thing,"
Levi raised an eyebrow. "The thing?"
Moblit chuckled as he reached for a pocket on his pants and pulled out a small wooden box. "I took the liberty of becoming your best man," He said with a smile as he opened the box and revealed the two plain, golden engagement rings.
Best man? Levi had to admit. He had no idea how weddings were supposed to be carried out. It wasn't like he had ever thought of getting married. He never even thought he'd find someone so perfect.
Nathalie gasped. "Oh my! You didn't have to!"
"Nonsense," Hange caught Nathalie's hand from across the table. "Did you two think you could get married without rings?"
Hange had a point. This was all too sudden. They had bought no rings. No preparations. Heck, she didn't even know what kind of vows she was going to take. Nathalie suddenly panicked and she turned and looked at Levi as he sipped on his tea, calm as ever. How could he be so fucking calm?!
"Uh…" Nathalie tried to figure something out to say. We are completely unorganised. She fought back the need to groan, but then the door snapped open and somebody walked in.
"Nathalie! Guys!"
Everybody turned and looked at the golden-haired girl. "Historia!"
Mikasa pulled her in a tight hug and Nathalie jumped off her chair and hurried towards the girl. Historia jumped right into Nathalie's arms. She looked good. She was in a white shirt and a black skirt. Her hair, beautifully tucked back in a braid. The kids stood up to welcome their friend.
"How come you're here?" Jean asked confusedly. "Your coronation is tomorrow!"
"Who cares?!" Historia cried out. "I'd never miss this for the world! Good thing the Commander was able to notify me,"
Nathalie tensed up. "T- The Commander…?"
"Sir!" Everybody saluted Erwin as he walked in. Nathalie tensed up. Erwin and Levi were already glaring daggers at each other.
Levi clicked his tongue in displeasure as he let his teacup back down on the table a little bit harsher than he was supposed to. "Great," He said sarcastically. "Here for a rematch?"
Hange snickered leaning closer to Moblit. She brought the cup of her tea close to her lips to hide her smile. "This is gonna be good,"
"Section Commander!" Moblit glared at her.
But much to her disappointment, Erwin only chuckled and raised his hand to stop him. "Levi, please, I'm not here to fight," He said maturely, as always.
Levi scoffed. Bullshit. The bastard was there to ruin their wedding, wasn't he?
Erwin just gave him a smile. "I only brought Historia, and I will be on my way,"
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Nathalie was waiting outside. She knew Levi and the others were all inside the small chapel. Hange and Moblit had insisted they carried out the wedding there. It was just a small, old abandoned building that stood in the wilderness of Wall Rose. The wide, green hills spread all around, and forests were surrounding them. The breeze was cool on her skin even though it was still evening.
Nathalie tried so hard to think of her vows. She had no one to walk her down the aisle. She had no parents, no father, no relative. Kenny was dead, and even if he was alive, he wasn't going to attend such a time-wasting even. She was sure he'd consider it time-wasting. It's Kenny. At least, it was. She couldn't tell why she felt a slight emotion of bitterness spreading across her chest when she remembered the fact that Kenny had died whilst she could have saved him. Maybe she just always hoped that her old man was going to change one day. He too was the only father figure that she had ever had.
However, she couldn't focus on her vows. She could only focus on the fact that Jean, Eren and Connie had offered to actually walk her down the aisle. The three couldn't figure out which one was going to do it, so Nathalie suggested they all do it. She giggled. It brought a smile on her face. She loved those kids. She couldn't imagine what she was going to do if they weren't around. And Hange and Moblit. They were the best friends that she never thought she would ever have. So thoughtful and caring. They were inside the chapel, and she was waiting outside for Jean, Eren and Connie to come out.
Nathalie could do nothing but stare at the bright greenery that spread in front of her. The sun was hot, but the breeze did not let her feel warm enough to be uncomfortable in these clothes. She was in plain clothes actually. Clothes that she never thought she'd wear on her wedding day. It was a white, long-sleeved buttoned shirt that was stuffed in a white skirt. The breeze pushed her hair behind her shoulders and she just stared in the distance until something caught her attention.
It was Erwin. He was supposed to have left, just like he had promised them. His hair seemed messy. He wasn't in the Survey Corp uniform, but he was still wearing that green cloak around him. He was riding on his white horse, and he was riding at her direction. He let the horse nearby. He didn't tie in anywhere. He didn't care. His horse could start riding away for all he cared. He just needed to talk to her. He just needed to see her before this was going to take place. Her wedding to another man. That man wasn't him, and he hated that, but that man could make her happy, and if anything, he was grateful for that.
She was perfect. She wasn't in some expensive, white dress that most young women wore when they'd get married. She wasn't in makeup, nor anything like that. The breeze brushed softly against her pale-brown hair. Bright blue eyes stared back from the lenses of her glasses. Pink, soft lips were slightly parted as she watched him rushing towards her. Erwin didn't know what he was hoping to achieve by being there.
"How did you feel the night of our imprisonment, in our shared cell? How did you feel when I held you?"
That was just a desperate attempt he had made, trying to understand whether she felt something. There must have been something. The way she had clutched on him the day when the guards barged in their cell and took him away and tore them apart. There must have been something. He wasn't trying to break the bond between her and Levi. That was an unbreakable bond that his fancy words could never hope breach. But he just needed to know.
Her eyes met his own as she stared up at him. The breeze penetrated his white shirt, and slightly danced with his green cloak. Erwin dropped on one knee and it caught her by surprise. Nathalie made a step back. She gasped. She expected anything but this.
"Erwin… what are you-"
"I wasn't trying to use you. I'm not trying to get between you and Levi," Erwin admitted as he looked up at her and she bit her tongue. He took her one hand in both his own. "But the night I held you…" He gritted his teeth, trying to think of something to say, but he sighed. He couldn't find the words.
Her small, weak body against his own. His arms around her. They were both in pain that night and it still felt so magnificent. He couldn't even begin to imagine how it'd feel if he held her now. Right now, that neither of them was in pain. That no threats and no fears had emerged just yet.
He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be thinking about this. He shouldn't be trying to steal her from Levi, but, alas, she could be so much to him. She could be that one person who could hold him in the late hours of the night and she could steal his troubles away. He had no one to play that role. He had no one to hold him. He had no one to talk to. All of his previous friends had died. But then it was her. Nathalie. She could be his. She could help him carry the burden of his duties. He could have someone to hold and it just had to be her. He loved her. He did.
And he had figured all these out the night he held her. He never even considered being with someone. The dangers were many. His position could endanger the life of that someone. But she was untouchable. She was so smart, and so strong, and so well trained that her skills surpassed his own in any way. She was so perfect. In any way that he looked at her. She was perfect.
And now he was about to lose that. And he'd be damned if he didn't do anything about it.
Erwin stared at the white skin of her knuckles. His thumb brushed warmly across the back of her palm. "…the night of our imprisonment… did you not feel anything… at all?"
Nathalie shut her eyes and she shook her head. She didn't want to look back in those bright blue eyes. She wanted to pull her hand and look away. Look anywhere but him. "Please, Erwin… don't do this. Please," She caught his hand and urged him to stand back up. Her hands found his shirt, grasping on the piece of clothing in the exact same way she had grasped him the night of their imprisonment. His hands slipped around her waist and she did not push him away, but she did have that guilt in her eyes. It was immense. She gritted her teeth. "Can't you see I'm bound to him? I'm so close to having someone as my own-"
"It could've been me," Erwin leaned down to her.
He pressed his forehead against her own and she didn't know whether she wanted to push him away or just stand there, and allow herself to drown in his eyes. She didn't know what to do. Why is he doing this to me? Nathalie shook her head and tried to look anywhere. Anywhere but him. She couldn't have this. She couldn't fall for him. She couldn't fall for two people at once, she was getting married. Fuck. She was getting married. She couldn't open up like this to anyone else. She just couldn't. It wasn't right.
"I'm sorry, Erwin, I didn't come this far to fall back now,"
Erwin only gave her a painful smile. He caught her chin and he guided her so that he could press a kiss to her forehead, much like he had done a few days back. "I know," He pulled back to look at her. "I trust that he'll make you happy, Nathalie, that's all I wish for you,"
And then, he let go of her and she found her hands still reaching out for him. Why? Why was her heart beating so damn loud? Why didn't she want him to leave? She hated that look on his face. The one of utter defeat. This man had suffered so much. But Levi had suffered so much more, and they both needed someone. They both needed her. She gritted her teeth. She couldn't split herself in two. She would do it, if she could. Erwin mounted his horse and just before he started riding away, she spoke. And she hated herself for that.
"I did feel something…"
Erwin's eyes widened. Fingers clenched tightly around the reins of his horse as he turned and looked at her. She took a moment to speak, and it felt like the longest moment he'd waited for in his life.
"…I was… terrified… that I might lose you," She tried her best to collect her words carefully. As to why she was terrified, she didn't want to think about it. But if that was what he wanted to hear to leave, then she told him and the only response he gave her was a smile before he started riding away. Nathalie just watched him as he vanished in the distance. Hands, cold. She hated herself more than any other time now. Why did she have to say that? Why?! Why did she bring herself so close to hurting Levi? Why did she allow herself to go this far? She jumped at the sound of Connie's voice coming from behind.
"Nat! You ready to go?"
She looked down at her hand that Erwin was previously holding. She was going to put a ring on her finger. She was going to get married and be wholly committed to one and only man. A man that she loved with her whole heart.
But was she ready for that?