Cold. A cold body, pressed against his own. They were on their bed. She was in her gown. Her skin, pale. Just like how pale she was the night that he had rushed her in the Hospital of Trost, after her fight in Utgard Castle. It was morning. He was holding her. Her head was heavy on his chest. Her bare hand was limp, pale and cold around his belly. His eyes snapped open when the idea struck him.
"Nat?"
No response. Maybe she was still sleeping. He cupped her face. Worry twisted upon the muscles of his features. His thumb brushed across her cheek. He looked down. Her lips, a light blue. It terrified him.
"Nat!"
He pressed his fingers on her pulse point in her neck and he waited. He waited, and waited. Nothing. No heartbeat. No pulse beneath her skin. No blood rushed in her veins. She was gone.
He had lost her.
Levi's eyes shot wide open. He jumped on a sitting position on their bed. Sweat ran down his temple. He was breathless. And then the fear struck him. He looked beside him, and she was there. She wasn't pale like she was in that nightmare. Her lips were a lively pink. Her body was covered beneath her gown and their blankets. His hand reached for her own, pressing his thumb over her pulse below her wrist.
He sighed. His heartbeat finally started to slow down. She was alive. She was okay. She was there. Beside him. She was breathing. He couldn't tell how early in the morning it was. The sunlight was still a light blue. The breeze was still freezing cold as it entered through their window. It must have been quite early.
"Levi?"
Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned and looked at her and for once again he forced that dead look on his face. The one that didn't allow anyone to see what he felt. But she could see right through it.
"It's nothing. Go back to sleep," He lied. He allowed himself rest back down. He knew he wasn't fooling her.
"Another nightmare?" Nathalie asked, ignoring completely what he had just said. He expected nothing less from her.
Her fingers found his own. Now her own fingers were warm, and his were cold, unlike his nightmare. He laced their fingers together before he turned and looked at her. Using that look on his face to mask his emotions never worked on her. There was no point. He allowed himself to stare at her with that same terror that he had in his nightmare when he found out she was gone. No. That was just a nightmare. It wasn't true.
Levi only shifted closer to her. His arms slipped around her and he buried his face in her neck. He nuzzled in her warm skin and he closed his eyes. The shocking fears of his nightmare were starting to subside, especially when he pressed his ear on her chest, and her heartbeat was steady and lively beneath. Her hands slipped around him and she found his hair. Her fingers tangled in the raven sweaty hair and she started caressing. She knew how much he liked that. She knew how much he enjoyed it. Nathalie pressed a kiss on her husband's forehead. Then, she pressed another kiss on his temple, and another a little bit lower, between his eyes.
Levi sighed in her skin. He closed his eyes. His fears were far away now. She had him. She was holding him. She was caressing and kissing him. She was alive. "I'm alright, my love," She whispered in his hair and he tried his best to hold back a bitter chuckle.
One look. It was just one look that he had given her, and she already knew what his nightmare was. His arms tightened around her. Fingers were clutching on her clothes. She knew him so well. She loved him so much. She was so perfect. In every way, every aspect, every angle. How could he ever allow himself to let her die? How?! He couldn't lose her. Ever.
"I'm alright-"
"Don't ever do it again. Please," His voice almost cracked. Now his fingers dug even deeper into her skin around her waist. She bit her lip and held back a wince.
She wasn't going to complain. He was only trying to show her how much he needed her. Clutching onto her as if she was going to leave. He had a right to hold her like that. She was leaving him. Not now, not tomorrow, but in a few years. And he thought that she was doing it willingly. Alas, she wasn't. It wasn't under her control. But he didn't know that, and she wasn't planning to tell him. She wanted to leave one last ray of hope for him to grasp onto, even though it was a fake one. She knew this was wrong, but she didn't want him to wallow in despair more than he already was.
His breath brushed shakily across her skin on her chest and he nuzzled into her just a little bit tighter. "You're the only one I've got left,"
His voice, low, and silent. A soft whisper against her chest. For a moment she thought she had just imagined him saying that. But, no, he was clutching onto her like a terrified child. He had told her the exact same thing when Furlan and Isabel died.
"I'm not going anywhere," Nathalie said. She just had to reassure him. She just had to make him feel better. Her own hands tightened around him. Her thumb found his chin, urging him to look up at her. "Now that I figured out this one thing, I'm not going anywhere," She cupped his face. The sorrow and the terror started to subside from those wonderful grey eyes of his.
He leaned in. His eyes rested on her lips. He caught them between his own, soft and slow. The most tender kiss he had given her yet. His tongue moved slow, and soft against her own, allowing her to enjoy the taste of him, just as much as he enjoyed her own. A hand found her cheek. His calloused thumb brushed gently across her face whilst he kissed her.
He had slipped between her legs before she even knew it. She was too absorbed into this wonderful kiss. Into the sweet dance that their tongues were locked in. Her hands slipped around his bare shoulders, tracing the perfect muscles that flexed beneath her fingers. The few scars that she had stitched up for him herself. He let go of her mouth, and he set off to worship the rest of her body.
Levi buried his face in her neck, and he started kissing. Just kisses. No nips, no bites, no suckling. No marks. She was fragile. She was weak. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to break her. Not now. Not in the condition that she was in. He only kissed, and licked the wonderful skin, and listened to her moans. He revelled at her fingers as they caressed soothingly through his hair, through his skin, his back, his chest, his shoulders. She touched him everywhere, and he loved every bit of it.
His Nathalie. So sweet and precious. Kind and loving. He only pulled back to look down at her. Her pupils, dilated. Her pink, wet, soft lips slightly parted. Her hair, a wonderful mess against her pillows that supported her head beneath her. Her chest, overly exposed from her small gown. He dove right in. He pushed the flexy fabric, enough to reveal one of her breasts, and he took it into his mouth. Nathalie gasped. His tongue slid wetly against her nipple and she had to bite her lip to keep back the loud moans and gasps. The more she tried to muffle herself, the more alluring her sounds became.
Levi groaned against her nipple. His teeth sank on her skin a little bit harsher than he intended to and she let out a mewl that made his bulge grow. Fuck. He had no idea whether this was the right time for this. He didn't want to hurt her in any way. He pulled back to look down at her. His hands snuck beneath her gown, and found her soft hips, her waist, her belly. He pressed his forehead against her own, making sure he had her attention.
"I want to take you," He breathed hard against her lips. "Here and now," He didn't wait for an answer. He caught her lower lip between his teeth, pulling on the soft flesh till it was rosy and swollen. "My wife," He mumbled before his tongue penetrated her mouth and met her own. His wife. His one and only. If she died, there would be no one else ever again. He couldn't allow to lose her.
Nathalie hummed against his lips. Her fingers slipped back into his hair. "My husband," She mumbled in his mouth. It made him groan. She pulled back from the kiss. "Take me," She gave him the permission. His eyes almost gleamed with lust. He didn't even bother to undress her, nor himself.
His hand reached down. He pulled his hard erection out of his comfortable sweatpants. His hand reached down between her legs. His fingers snuck beneath the soft fabric of her knickers. Two fingers slipped inside of her easily. Nathalie bit her lip, turning a gasp into a moan. She was already wet. She felt so warm and tight around his fingers. Levi gritted his teeth. He couldn't hold back. He guided himself to her opening. His hard tip pressed against the slick, warm lips of her pussy and he pushed in. Nathalie's lips parted into a silent cry. Her body arched as he filled her with his impossible length.
Her hand reached for her mouth. She bit her fingers and she groaned when he reached all the way in, stretching her tight walls, adjusting her to his size. Levi couldn't hold back a groan either. He leaned in and he buried his face in her neck and he started licking and biting. She was so wet and tight around him. Her body enveloped him just right.
He planted a gentle bite down on her skin and Nathalie muffled a gasp against her hand. "I missed you so much, baby," He mumbled against her neck and he caught her hand and pushed it off of her mouth. He laced their fingers together and he kissed her again. He caught her lips in his own. She barely had the time to acknowledge the fact that he had called her that. His hips started moving.
He pulled all the way out, so that his tip was only inside of her, before he pushed back in. Nathalie whimpered against his mouth. Her wetness allowed him to slip deep, and he did it again. All the way out, and this time he thrust back in with force. She would've cried out if his hand hadn't clamped on her lips.
"Better put that pretty little mouth of yours to use," Levi groaned before he pushed three of his fingers inside her mouth, gagging her effectively. The other hand kept himself up, afraid of crushing her. Her legs tangled around his waist and he started pounding.
He took her rougher than he was intending to, but he couldn't help it. He buried his face back in her neck and he started biting. He couldn't hold back. Not with those sounds that she made as she sucked on his fingers. With every thrust that hit deep into her precious body. She was so beautiful. She was so perfect. He pulled his fingers out of her mouth and he caught her lips again in his own. His thrusts as relentless as ever, hitting on the spongy sensitive flesh inside her.
She gasped against his mouth. "L- Levi, I'm gonna-"
"Do it," He growled against her lips. His hand slipped down and found her clit. Fingers worked on the sensitive spot in maddening circles. He knew he should probably muffle her, but he didn't care. He wanted to hear her. It was still pretty early, and hopefully their brats were sleeping deeply at this hour.
Nathalie's eyes shut tight. Her head rolled back. Her whole body tensed as she came hard around him. Her lips parted in a silent cry. It was his name only that erupted from her lips into a soft whisper. She clenched tightly around his length and Levi had to bury his face in her neck to muffle back a groan. Her slickness coated his cock and his thrusts never faltered. He kept taking her. Fucking her mercilessly through her orgasm. Her eyes widened, her hands reached for her mouth, trying to muffle the sounds that would've woken everybody up. He kept hitting that spot again, and again.
One hand pressed down on the bulge in her belly. "Fuck…" He shouldn't come inside of her. He couldn't risk it. But he wanted to. He wanted it so much. He wanted it while he still had her. She could still die in six years from now. They didn't have time. Levi pressed his forehead against her own. He caught her hand. Their fingers laced around each other's as he pressed her hand on the pillows beside her head. His eyes met her own. He was so close. She was so close as well. Her own hips were lifting up to meet his own. "I wanna come inside of you," He gasped against her lips. His fingers tightened around her own. "Please,"
She cupped his face. She was terrified. What if they had a child now? After this? She didn't want to lose another child. She didn't want to die and leave a child behind. One that she'd never watch grow. It would break her. No. He wasn't going to allow it. But she could tell what he was thinking. They didn't have time. Six years was all they had. Or at least in theory. It was now or never. She nodded. "Yes. Do it, my love,"
He buried his face in her neck and she buried her own face at the crook of his shoulder. Both clutched on each other as they reached their climaxes. He groaned and she gasped. His warmth plunged deep and he took her with a few more sharp thrusts, emptying himself inside of her. It felt so good. Their bodies remained joined and it felt so right for them to be. He caught his breath. Their hearts pounded hard against each other's. His wife. The mother of his children. His everything.
He was bound to her. She was bound to him. They only had each other. It had been like that for as long as he could remember. He caught her lips in his own. He was still holding her hand. Their fingers, still tightly laced around each other's. He loved her. It was so damn much, and so damn tense. It was overwhelming.
Levi broke the kiss to allow her to breathe. She panted against his lips. Her fingers caressed his cheek gently as she stared up at him lovingly. So beautiful and so perfect. And she was his. And he was losing her. He buried his face in her neck. No. She was never going to put herself in danger. He was never going to allow her to. He was never going to lose her. Ever. He tried to ignore the fact, that it was all just a theory. That not recalling any memories and thus expanding her lifespan, was still just a theory. Nothing was sure. He could still be losing her. He clung onto her so tight.
Levi lied back down. His arms remained tight around her, settling her body on top of his own, not once pulling out of her. He didn't want to. Nathalie buried her face in his neck and she started planting soft lazy kisses. "I'm not going anywhere," She mumbled. She reached his chin, pressing soft kisses there. She pecked his lips and then she looked up at her lovely husband. She knew exactly what he was thinking. She didn't want him to wallow in despair. He did not deserve this. They did not deserve this. She cupped his face. "We have all the time in the world,"
He wanted to believe her. He wanted it more than anything. He didn't say anything to argue to that. They both just closed their eyes, and clutched onto each other, for the remainder of the few hours that they had.
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"Nat!"
"Where have you been?!"
"Did you actually spend two days into a lab?!"
"We missed you, don't ever do that again!"
"Please, don't let Captain Levi train us today!"
"I hate to be the one to break the news, but the cake got devoured yesterday,"
"Please, make another cake! Sasha ate it all!"
Nathalie barely had the time to start making tea. The kids rushed in the kitchen, finally dressed and awake from their sleep. She never thought they'd miss her so much. She laughed and she passed her hands around Sasha's and Connie's shoulders who were standing beside her on both sides and she pulled them both in a hug, before she reached for Jean. She pulled him into a hug as well and he almost giggled like an idiot. And then she turned over at Eren, Armin and Mikasa, pulling all three of them into a hug.
"I missed you guys too," Nathalie said giving them all a smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here yesterday. Did the Captain work you out too much?" She turned and reached for the shelves. She lifted up on her tiptoes to grab one more cup, but Jean was tall enough and he grabbed it for her.
"You've no idea," Jean said as he handed her the cup and she gave him a smile.
"Thank you, darling," Nathalie said as she started serving the tea and settling the cups on a tray.
"He didn't let us take ANY breaks!" Jean complained.
"I was so damn hungry and there was no cake left," Sasha complained.
"There was no cake left because YOU ATE IT!" Connie complained.
"I SAID I WAS HUNGRY!"
"You're always hungry," Mikasa commented.
"I know!" Sasha cried out.
"We'll make another cake in the afternoon, I promise," Nathalie gave Sasha a smile and Sasha squealed.
"So, um, Nathalie, when are you and Hange planning to start the hardening experiments with me?" Eren asked.
Nathalie hummed as she carried the tray on the table. "There's just one last thing to do before we proceed to that," She turned at Connie and she pressed a hand on his shoulder. "With your permission, I am going to turn your mom back into a human, today,"
Everybody gasped. Connie's eyes widened. "W- What?!"
"You mean, you figured it out?!" Armin asked surprised.
Nathalie nodded. "That is why I've been missing two days. Now, sit down all of you, I want to explain you guys how it works. If Connie knows how to it works, then he can better understand whether he wants to give me the permission to do it or not," Nathalie said and everybody nodded.
Everybody gathered around the table and Nathalie started explaining over some tea. Levi had left early in the morning to notify Hange, Moblit and Erwin. Nathalie was sure they were all going to gather on Ragako just to see what was going to happen. Nathalie hated having an audience. It was without doubt that she'd start doubting herself once they'd reach Ragako and lay eyes on so many people.
And she was right.
Nathalie heaved in a deep sigh when she laid eyes upon the crowd that had gathered in Ragako when she and her squad unmounted their horses. It wasn't just Commander Erwin. It was Commander Nile, Commander Pyxis, and Premier Zackly, all escorted by their superior officers and soldiers as well. Nathalie started munching on the inside of her cheek. She was either going to ridicule herself, or just prove her worth.
Hange's hand passed around Nathalie's shoulders and the two of them walked towards the Commanders and the Premier. Connie, Sasha, Jean, Eren, Mikasa and Armin hurried over to Connie's home after saluting to the Commanders at first.
"I know you hate having an audience, but they kept insisting on coming to see this," Hange said and she sighed. Moblit and Levi were talking, not further away from the Commanders. They were all dressed in ODM and their green cloaks, except maybe for Commander Pyxis and Premier Zackly who were both wearing their green trench coats.
Nathalie too was dressed in her ODM. Her glasses rested on the bridge of her nose and she bit her tongue a little bit harsher than she was intending to. She sighed heavily. She was sure about this. It was going to work. She just had to keep telling herself that.
"I- It's alright," Nathalie stammered as she walked towards the Commanders with her friend by her side.
"How's your health?" Hange asked. "Levi told me you fucked it up again," She sighed. "When will you learn?!"
Nathalie sighed. "I'm sorry. You know how important this is. I had to figure it out," She said apologetically.
Hange parted her lips to scold her, but they finally reached the three Commanders and the Premier, and the two of them saluted them. "Sirs!"
"I am ready to carry out the experiment," Nathalie said. Her eyes fell on Erwin's and she had no idea why the only person she could look at was him. She stopped thinking about that, and instead she just tried to hide the nervousness.
"Perfect, Lieutenant," Commander Pyxis started. "We wish you good luck," The old man gave her a smile and Nathalie nodded.
"Thank you,"
"If this experiment is carried out successfully, and Mrs. Springer indeed turns back into a human, it will be safe to say that you'll have earned the title of a Doctor," Premier Zackly said and Nathalie's eyes widened.
"I- I- s- sir, I cannot take the same oaths that doctors do-"
"We'll change the oaths then," Darius shrugged.
"Sirs!" The voice of an officer drew their attention. "Everything's ready,"
Nathalie nodded at the four superiors before she set off with Hange. Moblit and Levi followed the two women and they finally reached Mrs. Springer who was still lying, face up, on out used to be Connie's house. Nathalie forgot all about the nervousness when she saw Mrs. Springer. Her honey eyes stared at the people who approached her in utter despair. Connie had a hand on his mother's large forehead. He was talking to her and Nathalie couldn't catch what he was saying. All that she could think about was that she was going to bring that woman back. She was finally going to fulfil her promise to Connie and she was going to bring his mom back.
"You okay?" Levi's voice came from beside her and Nathalie turned and gave her husband a reassuring smile.
"Never been better,"
Levi's lips slightly curled up. She was the only one who could see it. He brought her such relief. Such strength and the only she had to do was see that he was standing beside her.
Nathalie knelt beside Connie. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned and looked at her. He had yet to give her the permission. Connie looked up at her. Eyes filled with sorrow, but determination as well. He nodded.
"Do it," Connie said. "Please, Nat," He turned and looked back at his mother. "Bring her back," His voice almost cracked and Nathalie leaned in and pressed a kiss on his temple.
"I will, darling," She said, and she knew, there was no way she could let herself fail in this. Nathalie turned at Levi and she nodded at him.
Levi turned at their brats. "Connie, Jean, Sasha, stand back," He gave the order.
"Yes, sir!" The kids retreated and the only ones left close were Nathalie, Levi, Hange and Moblit. Levi and Moblit drew out their swords, to engage in combat should anything go wrong. Hange used her ODM and she jumped on top of Mrs. Springer's belly, and she did what she did best.
"Hello, Mrs. Springer!" Hange's hands found her waist. "Lovely day, isn't it? Well, let me tell you! Today, three hundred years ago, a famous politician was beheaded on behalf of the king…"
Moblit groaned. "There she goes again,"
"Your woman's such a nerd," Levi commented as he watched Nathalie slipping beneath Mrs. Springer's nape. The two men approached slightly, making sure they were close enough to take both Hange and Nathalie out of there should anything go wrong.
"Your wife's way more of a nerd than mine," Moblit threw back and Levi had to admit, he did have a point. But Levi was still surprised Moblit hadn't started talking about how Hange wasn't his woman.
Nathalie stabbed the nape as gently as she could with the large needle of the syringe that was fit for titan skin and she started administering the liquid that she had spent two days making. When she was done and she pulled the syringe out, the skin started heating up. Nathalie's eyes widened when the realisation hit her. She slipped away from the nape, fast.
"Hange!"
Hange stopped monologuing and she gasped when Moblit caught her and took her away from there on ODM. Levi caught his wife and maneuvered away from the titan just in time. A large explosion took place, and titan smoke spread all around. Thankfully, no fires and no flames started spreading, it was only just extreme heat.
Levi shielded Nathalie with his body, making sure she was safe. His arms tightened around her, and only when the heat and the smoke started to subside, he allowed her to turn and look at what had happened. They both turned and looked at the spot where the titan was previously resting, but there was no titan anymore. It was only a woman. Connie rushed towards his mother with Jean and Sasha following from behind and he covered his mother right away in his green cloak.
"Connie! Is she alive?" Hange asked and Connie turned and looked at her with tears streaming down his cheeks. He nodded shakily, before he pulled his unconscious mother in his lap. "YES!" Hange threw a fist in the air. "FUCK YEAH! SHE DID IT!" She rushed towards Nathalie who was still shocked, trying to believe that it had actually worked. Nathalie was picked up by Hange before she even knew it. "You crazy ass bitch, you actually did it!"
Levi frowned. "Careful how you address to my wife,"
"Aw, learn how to take a joke, grumpy-pants!" Hange groaned before she let Nathalie down.
"It worked…" Armin's eyes were wide.
"She actually did it…" Eren mumbled.
Nathalie fell on her knees. Her body felt too weak to move. Too numb. She just looked down at her palm where her blood spilled from her nose. It had worked. She tried to smile and laugh and let out exclamations of excitement and surprise. But she could do none of these. Her throat burned. Nathalie looked as more blood spilled down and she started coughing, spitting more and more blood against the palm of her hand. She could no longer breathe. Her chest burned, her headaches returned. There was no room for celebration, so it seemed.
Their squad gathered around her. Hange and Moblit, and Levi started talking to her, but she couldn't catch what they were saying. She felt dizzy. She felt weak. She gave in to the weakness. She passed out. Levi caught her right away. Her head rolled back on his shoulder. He wiped the blood off her face with his handkerchief. His heart pounded fast against his chest. He bit his tongue. Her skin, pale white. It frightened him. He checked her pulse in her neck. She was alive. He sighed heavily and he picked her up. He couldn't answer the questions that his brats were asking. Levi just ignored them and he took her away, towards his horse.
"W- What- What happened?" Commander Pyxis's voice stopped him. Levi turned and looked at the old man. Erwin's eyes were wide with worry as he stared at the woman in Levi's hands.
What was he supposed to answer? Levi looked down at her and the tormented expression on her face, even in her unconscious state. He looked back at the four men.
"It's the price of your success, that she has to pay,"
The only answer that slipped out of his lips. His eyes burned as they found Erwin's, accusing that man for everything. It was still Erwin's orders that had brought to this. They were closer to saving humanity more than ever, but this was the outcome. This was the cost.
"Excuse me," Levi turned around and he mounted his horse, settling her body in front of him before he rode away. He had to get her to bed. She had to lie down.