Hange couldn't believe this. It was afternoon, they had just returned to HQ after talking to Keith Shadis. The man had revealed that Grisha Yeager, Eren's father came from the outside, and Hange wasn't surprised. She wanted so much to find her fellow second in command scientist and talk to her about it. Alas, Levi had given the pitiful excuse of "She's taking the day off," and he had refused to give any further information. Hange frowned. Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Hange only hoped that that bastard hadn't done anything to her that left her bedridden for the rest of the day.
She was planning to just break down the door of their room and barge right in, but she didn't really get the time to do that. After returning back to the Survey Corps HQ in Trost, she had noticed Levi heading straight to the Commander's office. He looked furious. She was sure that nothing good was going to result from this.
And she was right.
Now, she was standing with her hands resting on her waist. She was fairly aware of the incessant tapping of her boot on the wooden floor of the kitchen beneath their feet, and she was staring at the two men. She had dragged Erwin and Levi in the kitchen of the Survey Corps HQ, and now they were seated on the kitchen table, glaring daggers at each other whilst they pressed the ice that she had given them on the wounds on their faces. Erwin had a black eye and Levi had a broken tooth. His jaw, radiated with pain and bled and he tried his best not to wince and not to let that glare drop.
They had made a mess of the Commander's office, but the Levi and the Hange Squads were taking care of it now. It was afternoon, and the night would be falling soon. Hange had ordered Moblit to bring two serums that were going to restore Levi's broken tooth, and Erwin's black eye.
Hange groaned as the two men didn't stop glaring daggers at each other. She threw a fist on the table, finally drawing their attention. "What are you two?! Five-year-olds?!" She turned at Erwin. "I get it for Levi to be like this, but you too, Erwin?! You're a forty-year-old man, for God's sake!"
"I- I'm thirty-five-"
"That's IRRELEVANT!" Hange had no trouble shouting at Erwin. He may have been her Commander but she and Erwin had been in the same cadette corps with Mike and Nile and Moblit and so many others. She knew this man ever since he was fifteen. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad Nat's not here to see this," Hange groaned and she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.
"Where is she?! What did you do to her?!" Erwin cried out.
"I did what you failed to do to her last night," Levi threw back.
"Nathalie would never throw herself on me if you hadn't hurt her somehow!" Erwin shouted.
Hange's eyes widened. "She WHAT?!" Suddenly it all started making sense. But the two men ignored her anyway.
"If Nathalie was mine, I'd have treated her far better," Erwin stood up, slamming a hand on the table and Levi jumped on his feet as well, glaring back up at his Commander.
"But she's not yours, is she?" Levi growled.
"If you keep hurting her, then she will no longer be yours either," Erwin growled as well and Levi hated how this man was always right. His ego would never let him admit it.
"ENOUGH!" Hange forced herself between them, and she pushed them both apart, urging them to sit back down to their chairs. "You're fighting like children," She scolded them, and she turned at Erwin. "Nathalie's made her choice -no matter how stupid that choice may be- you should respect that,"
"But he attacked me!" Erwin said pointing his thumb to his chest and turning his attention back at his rival.
Levi's brow twitched anger. "You touched MY WIFE!"
"You didn't have to strike back!" Hange scolded Erwin. She turned at Levi who was about to open his mouth and shout something else, but she cut him. "And you shouldn't have attacked in the first place. Erwin's right. Whatever she did with Erwin, she did it because you pushed her. The Nathalie I know would've never betrayed you without a reason,"
Levi sighed as he passed his tongue around his bleeding tooth, gathering the blood that lingered there. Hange was right. It was his fault, and he was fairly aware of that. But he just couldn't stand and do nothing knowing that Erwin and Nathalie- his Nathalie had done…
Erwin groaned as he set aside his ego, and tried to act like the thirty-five-year-old man that he was. He offered a hand for a handshake towards his comrade. "No hard feelings,"
Levi sighed and shook his Commander's hand. "Yeah, whatever,"
Hange groaned confusedly. "Seriously?! Do you guys hate or love each other?! I don't get it," Before any of them could say a word, Moblit finally walked in and he took out the injections from his bag.
"I got them," He informed them and he set off to inject the two men. They couldn't afford coming like this -bruised and beaten- to that mission.
"Ah, thank God, you're here, Mobby," Hange sighed and she allowed herself to sit down on a chair. A hand reached for her forehead, rubbing gently. "I'm tired of being the only adult in the room,"
Levi and Erwin tried to protest on Hange's comment, but Moblit spoke first. "Hange," Moblit started. "Did you report to the Commander about what Instructor Shadis told us?"
Hange frowned. "No, I was too busy dealing with two five-year-olds,"
"Hange-" Levi growled but she cut him.
"Our previous Commander said he knew Grisha Yeager. Eren's father," Hange started as she turned to Erwin. "He said he showed up one day outside the wall. He didn't have any memory of how he showed up out there, nor any memory of his previous life. Nothing. He only remembered his name, and that he was once a doctor,"
"And there's an even more interesting fact," Moblit started. "I made a small research. Guess who rid us off the plague a few years back. Dr. Grisha Yeager. He used techniques we didn't even know existed," He said.
"Of course, it's all now being taught in the universities, but a few years back, we didn't even know how to deal with the plague," Hange said.
"Which can only mean one thing," Erwin said as he pulled the ice away from his now fully recovered eye. "Grisha Yeager came from the enemy nation, Marley, that Nathalie was talking about,"
Levi nodded. "That's the theory,"
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It almost felt like she had been run over by a carriage. Or smashed by a titan's grip. Close enough. Nathalie winced when she tried to move. She was still on the bed, in her gown, and covered in the blankets. A couple of pillows were settled beneath her waist. She didn't even want to think of why he'd put them there. She only pulled them away, finally allowing her body to lie down normally.
Wherever she traced her skin, whatever moves she made, she winced. Her body felt sore. He had made such a mess of her. She couldn't even think of closing her legs. She was just so sensitive and bruised everywhere. She should probably kill him when he'd get back.
It was the first time he fucked her to oblivion and he didn't hold her afterwards. The bed felt empty and cold. She could tell night had arrived by the dark blue, afternoon light that entered through her window. She had blacked out. And of course, she had. He had wasted her.
Nathalie didn't know what to feel about this. There was no way she was getting out of bed. She couldn't tell whether she could stand at all. She had no idea where he was, and she didn't try to guess. Her body was in pain at the moment. Nathalie just shut her eyes and she buried her face in her pillow. She nuzzled deeper in the warmth of the blankets, and she sighed heavily. She had let him use her, again, and she had done it willingly.
She had accepted it. Let it become as toxic and as unhealthy as it gets. It was the exact thought she had made and she wasn't changing her mind no matter how much pain she was in right now.
"I want to be yours, Levi. It doesn't matter how you'll do it. Steal away my freedom. Treat me like an object. Use me for your pleasure. I don't care. I love you,"
Should she regret those words? She had actually given him the permission to treat her like this. And if she knew him correctly, he was going to show up with a tray and food. Someone would think of it as a sweet and nice gesture, but for Levi, she knew exactly what that meant. He was going to feed her, and take good care of her like a nice little pet that he owned. And then he was going to fuck her and use her again only to remind her of that.
That was it. How the hell did it get to this?! Nathalie buried her face in her pillow. Her hands tightened around the bedsheets that covered her body and she shut her eyes closed. She hadn't realised she was crying until a sob erupted from her throat. She wept silently there, alone in the dark. Why did he have to be like this? Why did she have to be sore all over now?
She couldn't stand up on her own. He'd have to be there to help her. It was as if he had done this on purpose. To show her how much dependent she was on him, that even standing up was impossible for her to do without him.
It was pointless to cry. Levi wasn't going to change, and she couldn't change him. She knew him. She knew him so well to be sure about that. She wiped her tears and she stopped crying. It was pointless indeed. She just had to take it. She was his wife. She had married that man. She didn't have a choice. She just had to take it. That was it. She could. She knew she could. She had been through worse.
She was bound to this man. Her eyes widened when the realisation hit her. Her hand reached down to her belly. Could she have been pregnant? Right now? Was he going to force her into another pregnancy test tomorrow?
She just shut her eyes and held onto her belly. She wanted this. She wanted a little brat that looks like us. Levi wanted it too, but he wanted it for more reasons than one. He wanted to use their little brat to restrain and protect her. Her husband was fucked up but she was still sticking around because she was stupid enough to love him. Stupid enough to be in love with him madly.
The door opened and she tensed up. Her heartbeat quickened to maximum and she immediately wiped all traces of tears. He didn't have to know how much of a mess he had made of her. She could cover those bruises up. She could wipe away her tears and push aside her fears, and she could hide these all behind a bitter smile.
But she failed entirely when he showed up with a tray and whatever food he had placed on top and a glass of water. Nathalie gritted her teeth and she tried to restrain the sting that gathered in her nose and threatened to elicit more tears down her cheeks. Of course. He was only reminding her how well she knew him.
He placed the tray and an oil lamp that brought enough light beside her on the bedside table. Levi sat beside her on the bed. He looked down at his precious wife and his hand reached for her cheek. His thumb brushed across the tender skin and their eyes met. It was only one look that he needed her to give him to say that something was wrong. Very wrong.
His eyes softened. "What is it?"
Nathalie only sighed and she shook her head. "N- Nothing," She caught his hand in her own, supporting it on her cheek. She turned and placed a kiss on his palm. She knew she wasn't fooling him.
Levi pushed aside the bedsheets, revealing her body beneath. He gathered her in his arms and he settled her on his lap. Her feet hung from one side and an arm supported her back as he held her like a baby. His hand reached for her cheek. A rough thumb brushed gently across her skin as he looked down at his lovely wife, studying her face with patience.
"You've been crying?" He asked and he hoped that that wasn't the case.
Worry pooled in his stomach. He could easily tell when she'd cry. His Nathalie could never really hide from him. But he couldn't hide from her either. She did not answer his question. Nathalie only grasped his black jacket and she buried her face in his neck. His hand that supported her legs pushed the gown slightly upwards, revealing the sore bruises that he had given her a few hours back. Nathalie winced. Her body flinched beneath his touch as if she was afraid he was going to hurt her. He hated it.
Levi gritted his teeth in regret. He pressed his forehead on her shoulder and he shut his eyes. His arms tightened around her. He had hurt her, and that realisation just hurt so much. He should've known better than to force so much on her. He should've known how much she could handle.
"I'm so sorry, Nat, you deserve so much better than that," Levi pressed kisses on her bare shoulder.
He found the marks in her neck, her chest. He kissed each and every single one of them. Nathalie sighed. She threw her head back and allowed him more space to kiss her skin. Her fingers found his hair and she started caressing soothingly. Levi sighed in her neck and he pulled back to look up at her.
"Say the word," Levi said. He cupped her face. "After the mission, we'll get a divorce. Erwin can treat you far better than I could ever-"
"No!" Nathalie cried out, and she had no idea where that reaction had come from. She couldn't believe he had just suggested that. Alas, he wanted her to be happy, and he was failing to make her happy. He was failing miserably. She cupped his face, drawing his full attention. "I want you, and you alone, don't you understand?" Why? Why am I being like this? She knew why. She was bound. "I love you, Levi, I married you, it's only you,"
"I'm hurting you, Nat,"
"I don't care-"
"I do," Levi leaned close. The tip of his nose brushed against her own gently. His breath landed down on her lips. "I do, Nat, you no longer have to be-" Before he could say something more, she kissed him.
Just saying those three words wasn't enough to convince him apparently. She just had to show him. She muffled whatever it was that he had to say. She didn't want to hear it and -honestly- he didn't want to say it either. It had taken so much of his courage to suggest this. Something so terrifying as letting her go and letting another man take over. But what was the point of having her trapped with him if she wasn't happy? She kissed him though. His arms only tightened around her, and he couldn't help but kiss her back. His tongue gently brushed against her own. He didn't fight for dominance. He should stop trying to have control over her.
He pulled back to let her breathe. "You'll get your own horse back. You no longer have to ride with me," He said and her eyes widened. "I'll never use you again, and I'll never go rough on you unless you want me to-"
"Levi-"
"You can go wherever you want. You can go spend as much time in the labs as you like. You can go work on your research whenever you want. You can come on all the missions and Expeditions. I won't ever try to stop you ever again. You no longer have to be my Lieutenant. You're skilled enough to be a Section Commander. You're being wasted with me, Nat,"
Levi buried his face in her neck and her hands tightened around his shoulders. He pressed a kiss down on her sensitive skin. That was more than true. He knew why she never chose to be anything more than his Lieutenant. It was because she wanted to be with him. But she didn't have to. His Nathalie was skilled. She was brilliant. She was being wasted with him. She didn't have to walk in his shadow forever.
"I'm so sorry I tried to take all of these from you, baby," Her fingers were so tender in his hair it made him sigh. "I'm so sorry-"
"Levi," She cupped his face, guiding him to look up at her. She giggled and it made his heart flutter just like every other time. "Can't you see that I'm bound to you? I can't leave you, I don't want to. Whatever you do to me, I'll stay, I always have,"
"I want you to be happy-"
"You can make me happy," She buried her face back in his neck. Her nose tickled his skin and she pressed a soft kiss there. "You can,"
His hand found her hair. He caressed gently and he buried his face there, breathing her in. He closed his eyes and he held her tight. He sighed in relief. His Nathalie had chosen him. She had chosen him and she wasn't drawing back. She didn't want to. Such a perfect woman, clinging to somebody so imperfect as him. He couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand why she loved him. But she had always been with him, and he was grateful for that. She had chosen him even though he was not a good choice. No- he was the worst choice.
"You shouldn't have chosen me…" He pressed a kiss on her temple and he shut his eyes, burying his face in her hair. "…but I'm so damn grateful that you did,"