Draco sat next to Hermione, the silence between them was deafening. That alone unnerved him. The moments there would be silence between them, it was comforting. They had the type of friendship where they really didn't have to say anything sometimes- they understood what the other needed.

As he stared at her, he realized his mother didn't really know Hermione like him. Narcissa always "casually" mentioning how Hermione was doing- noting how impressed she was in Hermione for being calm. What his mother didn't realize was Hermione always carried this air of tranquility. Years of being friends with Potter and Weasley, she had to be the rock in the middle of a storm. You would have to be around Hermione to realize that anxiety plagued her; Hermione's habit of gnawing on her bottom lip, the way her pointer finger would twitch involuntarily, the way she made sure her back was against the wall and her eyes fixated on a door. Draco had come to study her whenever they were around each other. He's come to know her little cues, just as much as Hermione spent studying everyone's behavior.

Her collarbones jutted a little more than usual, his hand twitched, longing to trace the delicate bones. Squeezing his hands to a fist, he cleared his throat, his eyes met hers. Draco's chest hurt, her eyes were dark and glassy already as she stared at him.

"Umm.. I don't know where to begin." A small laugh escaped her. Hermione twiddled with her fingers as Draco realized she was biting the inside of her cheek, he knew sometimes it would be raw by the end of a hard work day.

"How have you been?"

His voice was thick with emotion, Hermione had missed his voice. She missed her friend.

How have you been? It didn't click how much of a loaded question it was until Draco asked. How was she? Everyone had asked her that question constantly: Harry bombarded her with that question persistently, Ron would appear in the floo, Blaise and Pansy would practically knock her door down with food, making sure they fatten her up as Blaise eloquently put it, Luna and Neville would owl her to the point where their owls had made a living in her back porch. She was so annoyed with that question. Hermione became a robot when she answered it; she had become numb to it.

Yet...when Draco asked her, Hermione could only think about how much he was the only person she wanted him to ask her that. She missed him so fucking much, it was sickening. Every time she thought of him, memories of Astoria and Scorpius would flood her mind. Every time she felt the baby move and felt a twinge of excitement, her grief-no, her guilt, was there to extinguish any emotion. She shouldn't be happy or excited. Hermione did the unthinkable of acting on her feelings. She wanted to comfort Draco, let him know she was there for him. She really fucked that up.

A year had passed, almost two, since Astoria and Scorpius died, but she felt no less guilty. Hermione constantly being sick was Astoria cursing her from the grave. Astoria was pregnant with their second baby, another little boy. She had made pregnancy seem so easy, Hermione had thought bitterly one day when her head was inside the porcelain bowl, It was as if Astoria was plucked from The Magical Adventures of Pregnancy and Motherhood magazine.

She opened her mouth to say what she has been accustomed to reply with.

I'm okay.

"The truth," Draco's hand slowly engulfed Hermione's, "Please."

Hermione stared at his hand, pale and strong, years of being an Auror have deeply calloused his hands. Hands that if she remembered quite frankly in Hogwarts were always soft. Turning her palm up to meet his, she relished in the warmth.

"It's been hard honestly. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm constantly sick, can hardly keep anything down. It's such a bitch to get out of bed or do anything mobile, my midwife diagnosed me with symphysis pubis dysfunction. She said it should go away once I deliver but who knows," Hermione barely kept her tears, droplets already slipping as she realized her strength was really really fucking thin, " My body's changing and I want to be happy but I have this overwhelming guilt that just eats at me, Draco. It just eats and eats and eats at me and I don't know how to make it stop. I haven't felt this remorse since the end of the war and I don't mean to cry."

Draco felt his chest tighten as he watched Hermione try to stifle her sobs, pulling her to his chest, he hugged her tightly. Slightly rocking her, he whispered against her hairline.

Everything will be fine.

Draco once had wished in a different timeline he had chosen Hermione, before he proposed to Astoria. He wished he just kissed her in the pub that one fateful night, she was stunning. She kept up with him intellectually, Hermione was never afraid to give him a tongue lashing..

But she backed away from him and Draco had gone home, upset with himself that he didn't follow her. Then, his parents sat him down, it should be time for him to finally get into the proceedings of getting to know Astoria. There wouldn't have been an arranged marriage anymore, but his father wouldn't have approved of anyone else. And at his young age, his Father's approval was what he had longed.

Hermione was sweet to Astoria when they first met, getting to know her and becoming fast friends. Hermione had glanced once in his direction, that stupid tight lip smile being thrown his way.

Draco had noticed the heartbreak in her eyes, the longing, and if only Hermione had noticed his maybe things would've been different.

Everything will be fine.

Time had passed, Auror training had started to make it difficult to gather at the pub those Friday nights. When Draco couldn't make it, overtime was mandatory for his team, Astoria brought Daphne along. Too much alcohol and that ill-fated one night stand with Ron caused them to become parents of twins. Hermione began to date this apprentice of some sort. This boisterous bloke that just made Draco's gears itch to send a sharp silencio curse at him. Their weekly release just began to dwindle down to once a month to not anymore; one bloody rainstorm and a faulty switch box, the place caught in flames.

Astoria and Hermione's blooming friendship allowed Draco to be around Hermione. Being friends was comfort enough for him. After six months of dating, Astoria was pregnant, so a quick and private wedding ensued and his fate was sealed. He gave everything to Astoria and Scorpius. Then fucking Belay. He took everything from him. How they broke through his wards, he didn't know.

Everything will be fine.

He really hoped everything will be fine.

Hey guys!

Before I write/post chapter 13,

I'll be going through the previous chapters and revisiting and fixing some mistakes ! Rereading the story I realized I put 18 weeks instead of 8 weeks when her and Harry went to the blood transplant place lol.

Thank you guys for all the love!!

Enjoy!