Reaching for Love
Chapter 1: Splinters
BELLA
Life splinters, fracturing the fragile balance of your existence. Embedding in tiny crevices you never knew existed. They're impossible to remove without the right aid. No matter how you protect yourself, you'll get a splinter. Heck, you'll probably get more than one. It's inevitable. That's what Jacob Black was — a splinter. One that was hard to remove. He embedded himself deep into my life. Looking back, I believe he targeted me. Saw me as gullible. And I fell for him and his act.
The day I met Jacob, I had just gotten hired at Palisade. The wait staff manager was his uncle, Royce King. It was Royce who introduced us, though he introduced me to many of the wait staff.
My relationship with Jacob was innocent at first. A smile here, a blush there, and the next thing I knew he was asking me out. I accepted. I'll admit I was attracted to Jacob. He was the first guy who didn't treat me like a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. He saw me, or so I thought.
Fast forward two months. My dad was meeting Jacob for the first time. We were all going to have dinner together. Jacob was nervous and when I asked him why, he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I had a feeling Jacob had spoken with my dad and was about to ask me to marry him. It was all an act, a way to lure me into trusting him, loving him.
The morning of the dinner I was in the bathroom, staring at a stick. I hadn't believed it then and I still don't believe it. I was pregnant. Jacob and I had been so careful, always using protection. I was even the pill, not that my dad knew. Heck, I was an adult and he couldn't stop me from filling the prescription. Jacob was my first, pressured me into sleeping with him. I trusted him, even asked him what would happen if I got pregnant. He hadn't answered me.
As I had stared at the stick, I remember thinking what the hell was I going to do and how was I going to tell not only Jacob but my dad. And that was when I found my first splinter.
Jacob arrived early, before Dad was home from the station. My dad was a sheriff working for King County Precinct Three. His shift ended at six o'clock and that meant he was typically home a half hour later unless he had a late collar or a traffic stop and had to fill out paperwork. He hadn't called and it was quarter after six. Dad not being home gave me the opportunity to break the news to Jacob.
"Jacob," I said, after we sat on the couch. I angled myself to face him. "There's something I need to tell you, and I don't know how you're going to take it."
He took hold of my hands, squeezing them. "You can tell me anything, sweetheart."
Taking a deep breath, I released it slowly. "It just we never talked about this."
Jacob freed one of his hands and brushed a lock of hair behind me ear. "Until I know, we can't talk about it."
He was being sweet, a real charmer. That's what drew me in, his charm. "I'm pregnant."
His eyes went wide before narrowing. "Right, Bella. And I suppose next you're going to tell me I'm the baby daddy. We've been using protection. You're on the pill. So forgive me if I don't believe you."
His words hurt. Tears formed and fell down my face. Not his! Hardly. Then it donned on me. Jacob didn't want children. He told me that. I hadn't thought much about it at the time. His next words cut me to the core.
"Charlie, I swear. It can't be mine. I had vasectomy."
Jacob never told me he had a vasectomy, but he and I never talked about the distant future. We only discussed out next get together, or in his words "hook-ups." The next words out of his mouth had me reeling backwards as if he had slapped me hard across the face.
"It has to be the last guy she dated kid."
I hadn't slept with the last guy I dated. Paul didn't want to and said he was waiting until he was married. I respected his choice. When he broke things off with me, it was no big deal. We hung out and talked. We both realized there was no spark between us.
"It can't be Paul's kid," I shouted. "I never slept with him."
Jacob laughed. "So says the pregnant whore." He stood, looking at someone else. "Your daughter is a liar and one that I won't put up with." He glared down at me. "We're over, Bella. I don't want to see you again."
I turned and watched him walk out of the house. It was then I noticed my dad standing in the room. He had his uniform on, gun belt still around his waist. My eyes moved up. He had his arms crossed over his chest. His brown eyes were drawn together, staring hard at me. His lips were in a hard, thin line. I was in trouble.
"Bells," he said softly.
Yep. Definitely in trouble.
"You know my rules. You agreed to follow them when you chose to continued living under my roof after you graduated high school."
I swallowed hard, knowing I had violated the biggest one. What I couldn't recall at the time was the consequence for violating it.
"And you agreed to the penalty."
I nodded, still not recalling what it was.
"You can keep your house key. You will always be welcome here."
My eyes widened. I was being kicked out. Where in the world was I going to go? All my friends were in college. I had very little in my savings account and even less in my checking. My waitressing job didn't pay well and though the tips were good, they weren't enough to live on. And my health insurance was a joke. It was okay for me as I rarely got sick but being pregnant. Oh god. What was I going to do?
"Pack a bag and get out." Dad turned on his heel but stopped before he went into the kitchen. "You have a half hour. When you find a place to live, I'll let you come and get the rest of you belongings."
With tears streaming down my face, I rushed upstairs and grabbed a duffle bag from my closet. I stuffed three days-worth of clothing into it, praying Dad would come to his senses and let me come home.
With fifteen minutes to spare, I slammed the front door closed as I left. Looking up, I saw Dad standing at the window of my bedroom. A stern expression planted on his face. The curtain had fallen back into place a moment before I moved toward my truck. I hopped in and drove away as another splinter embedded itself.
Once I was at the end of the street, I pulled over and called a friend and a fellow waitress.
"Hey, Bella," Angela answered.
"Can I stay the night? My dad kicked me out. I'll explain when I get there."
"Uh… sure. You do remember I'm going out of state tomorrow and won't be back for a week."
Shit! "I remember," I lied. "I just need a place to stay tonight. Once I get my paycheck, I'll find a cheap motel to stay at until I find a place of my own." And who knew if I would be able to afford an apartment. "I'll be at your place in a half hour."
~~~ Reaching for Love ~~~
Angela was appalled when I explained. She cussed not only Jacob out but my dad for a good hour. She wished she wasn't going to visit her parents. If she wasn't she would let me stay for as long as I needed. She even said she would talk to her landlord about subletting her apartment.
It was a night of tears. I loved Jacob. Saw a future with him. But in one fell swoop, he splintered my heart. It's no wonder the next morning was met was a huge headache. Angela made a simple breakfast — cereal. I ate a small bowl, though I had no appetite. When her Uber arrived, I grabbed my duffle bag and walked out with her. After she left, I got into my truck and made the drive to Palisade to pick up my meager paycheck.
Jacob was walking out of the kitchen door with a black trash bag. Crap! I thought he was off. He saw me when he turned to walk back.
"I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again." He crossed his arms and stared at me.
I should have walked away and came back later in the day. "I'm here to pick up my paycheck, unless you're telling me I no longer work here."
He sneered. "I wish you didn't."
I moved toward the kitchen door. Jacob walked faster, passed me, and stopped right in front of the door, barring my way. Royce chose that moment to come out.
"Problem, Jacob?" he asked, placing a hand on his nephew's shoulder.
"Yep. This bitch here thinks she still works here, Uncle. Says I knocked her up and knows she's lying about it."
What! He still thinks I'm lying. Angela and I did a little research. We learned vasectomies can fail. Wasn't he told that before the procedure?
Royce shook his head. "It's frowned upon if employees date but not against the rules. However, I'm going to have to let one of you go so no fights break out in front of customers." He looked at me. "Bella, I'm afraid you're the one. Your last two paychecks will be mailed to you."
Both Jacob and Royce entered the kitchen, the door banging loudly behind them.
I stood there, not able to breathe and not believing what had just happened. I had never been fired. I had quit a job before but only because my grades were suffering and the manager understood. She even gave me a glowing recommendation when I applied for a job at the library.
Another splinter buried itself deep. It seemed like every basic need was taken away from me. A safe place to stay. Food and water.
In a daze, I left and sat on a bench in front of the restaurant. For the millionth time, I asked myself what I was going to do.