A/N: As the title suggests, the stage is set for a heated exchange between our fav couple.
You taught me to desire.
It had become a habit for Ino to spend her nights with Sai. The evolution of such a habit had been born from her once staying too late at his home. Sai had remarked that she could stay until morning, and the mere suggestion had caused Ino's heart to race while she immediately wondered if he wanted something more from her. Ino had been waiting patiently for such a request though luckily, she never acted on her assumption because, of course, Sai had not intended the double meaning to his words. Some weeks later, when she had enough courage to ask, Sai explained that he had suggested such a thing because he had grown accustomed to their companionship.
Back then, Ino had made excuses because they were friends. However, they were now a couple, so she found it harder and harder to justify Sai's sexual disinterest. Admittedly their romantic relationship was unorthodox though regardless, step by step, Sai had become comfortable and familiar with Ino's closeness, to the point where they now shared the same bed. However, Sai never made an advance, much to Ino's dismay and confusion as she had caught him staring at her female attributes on occasions, so she knew he had awakened enough to notice her. Ino had attempted to encourage Sai into acting, but all to no avail.
Even at this very moment, as Ino approached the bed with her hair loose and delicate nightwear, she was met with the customary look of complete indifference. Sai merely nodded in acknowledgement at the sight of her before returning to the book in his hand. The bitter disappointment turned Ino's insides as she had to control her expressions and bite back her raising words.
Finally, Ino settled into the bed with her back to Sai as she tried to emphasise that she was sulking silently. But, unfortunately, the cue went unnoticed, and she had to admit that any man would probably miss it.
The bed was tight, so soon enough, a much more pressing emotion overtook Ino when she became attuned to Sai's presence, the heat from his side and the touch of his arm at his side. Ino could not help but wonder how it would feel to be held by him. It was something she could only imagine, and in doing so, her eyes fluttered shut. The resulting fantasies were pleasant yet torturous company, and as she slipped into sleep, some lingering thoughts remained.
Why does he not find me attractive? Am I not beautiful enough for him?
~ooOOoo~
Unable to voice her concerns for fear of the answer, Ino let her feelings grow and fester in her heart and mind, and with no outlet, Ino had chosen to drown her sorrows one day after work. She had happened upon the nearest restaurant, which patrons were already pouring into, as apparently, she was not the only one dealing with her emotions in an unhealthy way. Nevertheless, Ino quickly entered, and before sitting, she ordered a few ostumami dishes to disguise her intention to drink only.
The service was prompt, and soon enough, Ino's throat burned from the taste of sake. It was not enough to deter Ino, for she had a goal to forget her troubles. However, Ino rarely partook, so it didn't take long before her senses and judgment grew murky and clouded, so soon enough, she was loudly asking for another drink as the euphoria of intoxication passed into a dizzying drunken haze.
By now, the restaurant had grown busy though the hum of conversation was still not enough to drown out Ino's repeated requests for her next drink, which never came. It made Ino wonder if the waiters were consciously cutting her off, which was likely as she currently worked to keep herself sitting upright, and while fighting gravity, a gentleman came to sit opposite her. Working to keep her focus past her double vision, Ino greeted him. Despite her daze, Ino could still appreciate that the man was conventionally attractive with his dark hair and structured face. His features were familiar to her; however, his dark eyes held more animation, and his skin more colour than she was traditionally used to seeing. The stranger was one of the businessmen that Ino had failed to spot earlier on her entrance to the restaurant. The man regarded Ino with amusement, and she vaguely registered him setting down a half bottle of sake and two small glasses.
"Are you having a hard day?" the man asked then, almost knowingly.
Ino merely nodded and tried to get her words out, "Try months," she managed.
The man nodded in understanding and smiled.
"Would you like company?" he asked, "I too am drinking alone, and when I saw you, I thought it would be less sad if we drank together."
In her subconscious, Ino knew that the stranger's offer should be taken with caution, for he was a man that she did not know, and such behaviour was risky. However, a part of Ino craved his attention, though she hated to admit it. Ino nodded before she could change her mind, and he responded by pouring out the sake.
As Ino concentrated, she slowly realised that she could pretend. Maybe she could live vicariously? When she met the stranger's gaze then, it penetrated and swept over her in a way she recognised. It was a form of overt sexualisation, as he imaged her bare, and Ino felt her insides heat in response. All she wanted was to feel beautiful. To be acknowledged as desirable.
"You would sleep with me, wouldn't you?" Ino asked pointedly then.
The businessman was calm under the sudden question, and though Ino was unsure of his true intention, he came across as one of those ' nice men'.
"I only came to keep you company," he said diplomatically, "And to make sure you were alright."
Ino sat up straighter then and took the drink he set out for her.
The man sensed her annoyance, and his smile had turned into a slight teasing smirk as his eyebrow became cocked. "Was that not the answer you wanted to hear?"
Ino used her hand to hide her mouth as she tipped back the sake. Once finished, she had grown used to the burn and merely set down the glass.
"What do you think?" Ino asked toyingly, facing him then.
There was a sudden tension that settled around the table. For the first time in some time, Ino felt seen. No matter how wrong this was, Ino grew addicted, and she had been craving tangible emotion.
Unbeknownst to Ino, the businessman also wanted to live vicariously, for he was being denied the touch of a woman he truly desired as status was keeping them apart. Soon he was reaching for Ino's hand. Ino's brain warned her against such risk-taking behaviour, yet she found it hard to ignore the attention she so desperately sought. She became raised in her chair and leaned forward, bridging the distance between her and the stranger.
"Ino," came a female voice.
Immediately Ino recognised it, and the tension was cut for her. It was then that Ino came back to her senses as she became sombre for a moment. Then, when falling back in her chair, Ino looked up to find Sakura standing before the table with a disapproving yet gentle look on her face. Ino only now vaguely recollected telling Sakura of her plans.
Sakura turned her attention to the businessman, and it was then that she was reminded of another blonde-haired woman. The one who had been muttering his name - Their hidden love had been revealed to her.
"Rather than being here, you should probably see Maaya," Sakura advised then, "I saw her being admitted again…though she was not my patient, so I feel I can say."
Immediately the man was on his feet, "What happened? Is she alright?" he asked.
Though he didn't even let Sakura answer as he rushed off, grabbing his discarded jacket at his abandoned table before exiting the restaurant.
Sakura sighed at the nature of people, but she could empathise with both his and Ino's yearning for love and attention. Quickly, turning back to her friend, Sakura watched as Ino cushioned the fall of her head with her hands in time as she slumped forward onto the table. Ino was weakly defending her actions to Sakura, who was busy contacting her former teammate.
~ooOOoo~
Sai had been interrupted midway through his painting session by Sakura's call though he couldn't quite admit that he had been distracted long before by Ino's absence.
The night was dark, and some revellers were pouring out of the well-lit restaurant. Sai quickly became distracted when he reached the assigned meeting place, for he was no longer a detached observer. Sai experienced concern at the sight of Ino from her flushed face and lack of balance to her slurred speech.
On his approach, Sakura looked relieved.
"I'm glad you're here," Sakura admitted then, "Sorry. I would have brought her to you, but I have to be somewhere."
Sai shook his head as he took Ino from Sakura and held her upright against his chest. He knew that Sakura had been waiting for a sudden visit from the elusive Sasuke for some months now. However, Sai was also aware that Sakura knew of his views on the man, so she never mentioned his name.
"She is not your responsibility," Sai stated then before turning the conversation back to Ino, "I can take care of her."
Sakura nodded with her pink hair and smiled.
"I know," she answered without a trace of doubt, "Hopefully, Ino will explain things to you when she is able."
The cryptic words made Sai's brows knit together, but before he could ask his former teammate, she disappeared. Therefore Sai was left to weigh up his options with a sigh as Ino's limp body continued to slump forward. She couldn't stand up, so there was no way he would be able to manoeuvre her enough to carry on his back, and the distance from their current location to his house was too far to hold her. Therefore, Sai settled for pulling out a scroll from his pocket and with some skill, he managed to scribble a much-needed tiger. It came to life, and Sai wasted no time lifting Ino to seat her on its back. Sai climbed in behind her and quickly urged the animal forward. After some time of struggling to keep Ino on the animal, he figured that being on the ground had indeed been a safer alternative than drawing a bird.
Ino was close to passing out, though she mumbled a final comment before doing so.
"I'm w-ith a herbi-vore m-an," she whined.
Sai was unsure what Ino was referring to as he couldn't understand the context, for he did eat meat.
~ooOOoo~
Sai had settled for ensuring Ino slept off the effects of her excessive alcohol intake, and he took it upon himself to nurse her back to health. The following evening arrived, and Ino recovered from her queasy stomach and a pounding headache. However, she continuously groaned in response to the ramifications of her choices and had quite an aversion to light, so Sai kept the blinds drawn in his room. Sai couldn't help but be reminded of the undead coming back to life while looking at Ino's wholly dishevelled state.
With his ongoing care, though, the following morning, Ino returned to her former self, and Sai knew because she grew increasingly mortified. He wondered if this was due to fragments of her memory returning or Ino merely imagining the worst-case scenarios of what may have happened in her drunken state. Regardless It was as if Ino was trying to make up for her behaviour as she had made the bed and cooked dinner. However, Sai said nothing and merely went back to their usual dynamics.
Meanwhile, the hazy memories knawed away at Ino, and she squirmed at the realisation that she had been close to cheating as it wasn't a healthy reflection of her relationship with Sai. The harboured secret built pressure within her like a volcano that was doomed to erupt. It was only when the night drew In that Ino could no longer contend with the guilt that she spewed out the drunken event to Sai when they had sat together on the bed.
Sai, who had never expected such a confession, became stuck. Though he remained pensive, there had been a slight twitch to the corner of his left eye, and the micro expression had caused Ino to apologise profusely.
"Do you want to end things between us?" Sai calmly asked though there was a quiver to his voice.
Immediately Ino was on her knees, which caused the mattress to depress. She faced him. "No! I don't want that at all."
Sai tried to ignore that his heart had picked up in beats, "But you wanted to kiss and engage with him, though," he continued.
Ino vigorously shook his head. "I…I wanted it to be you."
It was then that Sai's forehead creased. "Do I not give you what you want?"
Ino smoothed down her nightwear then."You..." She struggled to find the right words to explain, "Don't provide me with the attention that I'm used to."
Sai looked at her thoughtfully as he digested her words. "Could you explain?"
Where to begin? Ino knew that she had been sexualised from a young age. She knew that it was what the world did to girls. There had been various moments in Ino's life where she had experienced the catcalls of men in the street or bold moves to gain her interest, and deep down, Ino couldn't help but admit that some part of her enjoyed the attention.
Sai seemed to see Ino thinking, and so he asked. "Does it validate you?"
Ino was jarred free from her thoughts and found herself stuck in shock at the question. It was not because she had never considered it; rather, it was the uncomfortable truth of having to admit it aloud. Ino did indeed experience a strange sense of validation from such overt appreciation of her beauty. What girl didn't want to feel pretty?
Ino tried to get to the crux of the problem at hand rather than waxing philosophically about the inherent patriarchal values that shaped her worldview.
"It is not about that, though," Ino was quick to add, "Why do you not want to have sex with me when I know you see me as men do."
Sai's calm continence cracked slightly in surprise, and It was a moment before he spoke.
"You are right. I do find you beautiful," Sai assured.
Ino became relieved at the admission, and Sai noted her change in demeanour; therefore, he was somewhat appeased internally.
He continued, "However, you are more than just a beautiful woman."
Despite being warmed to her core and aware that Sai saw her for more than her body, Ino couldn't help but feel dissatisfied.
"I appreciate that," Ino was quick to add before explaining, "But I also want to be desired by you. I have needs… Don't you?"
Sai's expression loosened then, and he appeared slightly apologetic. "I don't think I experience the need for sex like other people do."
Whatever hope was rising in Ino's chest dissipated, "But," she started desperately, "You enjoy physical touch now and emotions."
Sai nodded, "I do."
With growing despair, Ino wondered if she was doomed to a life of frustrated want. Her celibacy had become increasingly laborious and harder to keep through the years of ever-present ache. She had needs not only for sexual gratification but also to experience such a thing with the man she so desperately loved. There could be no other that would fulfil her body and soul.
Ino helplessly let her head bow as she tried to quell her disappointment.
A soft look surfaced through Sai's default neutral expression as his dark eyes regarded her for a moment.
"Maybe, though under the right circumstance, I would feel it," Sai suggested.
Ino's head came up in surprise at Sai's words, and despite growing weary at the rollercoaster, his words offered hope.
Ino mustered enough energy to ask, "What do you mean?"
Sai thought back then while admitting, "I have wanted to have sex."
Ino grew further shocked, "When?" she gasped.
The faintest colour appeared in Sai's cheeks then, and he did not answer immediately. In the resulting quiet, Ino found herself subconsciously leaning towards Sai as her desperate heart craved such information.
"There have been a few times, though I cannot fully remember the circumstances leading up," Sai admitted, "There is one instance though that is ingrained…."
It was utterly exasperating to wait for such a revelation, but Ino bottled up everything and remained still as she waited for Sai to finish.
"It was when you performed your clan technique," Sai explained.
Whatever Ino had expected to hear this was not it.
"What?" she asked, "But you weren't even aware of sexuality as a concept back then."
Sai merely shrugged as he thought back on the events of the land of silence, "True, but I still experienced this overwhelming need which now I understand," he explained.
Ino's eyes grew wide as her irises shook. "Wait," she uttered, "Is that why you excused yourself a little while after everything happened?"
Sai nodded in admission though he never expanded further, whether because of his inability to express himself or that he didn't want to, Ino wasn't sure.
It was then that Sai shuffled back on the bed to lean against the headboard. He caught Ino's gaze then and brushed his fingers against his temples.
"Why don't we test the theory?" he asked in a proposition to the woman who sat on her knees opposite him.
Ino's lips parted in surprise though she did not move because Ino always treated her clan technique carefully, and she did not take it lightly. However, she became wholly captured in the nervous yet anticipatory energy that Sai now exuded. Within his eyes, there was a hint of deeply buried yearning as his posture had subconsciously become unguarded and free as his legs became splayed open and his arms moved to rest on either side of his legs.
Sai continued, "If you want to, that is."
Ino was utterly absorbed in Sai's sudden animation, and it was the most overt interest she had seen him express in some time. However, the lines were becoming blurred, and Ino wondered if Sai's eagerness to re-experience her technique was more significant than her sheer curiosity.
Impossible!
Ino knew she wanted this more, so she subconsciously licked her lips to moisten them. Her Jutsu wasn't a game which she knew…and yet Ino shuffled forward and settled on her knees between Sai's parted legs.
"Just once," she whispered in justification, bringing her hands up as her fingers formed the customary wide diamond shape that held Sai's gaze.
He said nothing but merely nodded, and with this final consent, Ino acted.
"Mind transfer, Jutsu," she muttered under her breath.
It was instant as Ino's unconscious body dropped onto Sai's chest with a thud which neither felt as Sai remained sitting upright. Instead, her spirit and mind entered his, and Ino found herself gasping almost immediately, for the warmth and light that greeted her was altogether overwhelming.
Was this indeed Sai's mind?
It was a stark contrast from the one Ino had inhabited when she had broken Sai out of Gengo's genitsu.
Ino could sense her chakra everywhere, and she wondered then if she was just sensing herself or her chakra was so strongly present in Sai's mind. Regardless Ino was distracted to the point where she nearly ran into the one she was looking to meet.
"Sai," Ino said in utter shock, for she had been prepared to dive into finding his consciousness. She had never expected to see him on the very surface.
Sai lightly smiled then as he met her once more in his mind. "Hello again."
"Hello..." Ino started after some time before stating the obvious, "You were surprisingly easy to find."
Sai's smile grew a touch. "I've been waiting for you, that's why," he simply answered.
Ino's heart sped up in pace, and Sai's eyes reacted to the sensation he experienced.
"Sorry, did I say something wrong?" he asked then.
Nervous laughter followed before Ino shook her head while quietly trying to marshal her reactions as she was now in control of his body.
"No," Ino added quickly, "You just caught me off guard."
Sai nodded then before adding, "It's been a long time, so I assumed that your first emotion would be that you missed me."
The unexpected teasing comment caused Ino to blush. "I did... I do," she stammered to explain.
Despite her silent reprimand, she couldn't control her reactions, but thankfully Sai did not comment and settled for ignoring the frantic heartbeats. In her defence, Sai's consciousness was too free compared to what she was used to in his behaviour in real life.
Sai changed course as he stated, "Well, I'm glad you are here."
Ino nodded awkwardly before asking customarily. "So, how are you?"
There was faint amusement behind his dark eyes as Sai swept his hair back. He decided to play along rather than dive to the core reason why she was here.
"Better than your last visit," Sai made sure to say.
Ino smirked then. "I would say so. Your mind is so bright it's blinding me."
Despite registering that she was joking, Sai remained serious. "I'm happy," he explained.
The direct response was accompanied by a rush of heat that Sai registered and believed was explained by her following words.
"I'm glad," Ino said truthfully with a soft smile.
It was then that Sai moved to sit. "Would you like to know why?" he asked into the ether.
Ino reflexively joined him as she nodded. It was the answer Sai had wanted to hear as he relaxed and went on to lie on his back. Despite being confused, Ino followed suit and lay by his side.
It wasn't long before a flurry of memories circled them both, and Ino understood what was going on. As one memory fleeted into another, Ino was met with many that she was occupied and only now was Ino beginning to know how much time she spent with Sai. Most of his memories were of ones they had shared, from going out to eat to Sai's first attempt to teach her how to draw to moments they had embraced.
So consumed was Ino that she did not notice that Sai was gazing at her from the corners of his eyes to survey her reactions. Sai watched as her face radiated pure and unguarded joy, and he understood then that her fast heart rate and mild heat were associated with pleasant feelings. They had to be, for he was showing her pleasant memories. Sai admitted then that It was indescribable to experience the strength of her emotions as he felt them in his body. His paled in comparison.
Before long, Sai settled to show Ino the memories she undoubtedly wanted to see but never asked. It was then that he remembered moments of him appreciating her beautiful form, and soon enough, he relived the moment of being revived from Gengo's genjistu and the resulting reaction of his body once his tears had faded. Finally, it was sometime after Ino had left him to see Shikamaru, he remembered his body standing at attention. It had been imposing and confusing, but in retrospect, it must have been the remnants of Ino's compassionate touch in his mind that had caused such a response.
The memory faded then as Sai decided that it was enough for one visit for the sheer pounding of Ino's heart became concerning. Sai could almost hear it in his ears. As a result, the pair were left in the empty brightness. A quiet silence soon settled around Ino and Sai, and the longer it drew out, the more tension grew in its place. Sai could not find words due to the heat now coursing through his veins. Ino's feelings had changed, as the heat was altogether fierce and aching. It distracted Sai from the vulnerability that he experienced at being so open with Ino. However, this was soon eclipsed by a need to which he wanted to seek some sort of relief from as the surmounting tension was stretched to breaking point.
It was only the sound of shifting that drew his attention.
Ino had moved onto her side to face him. Their heads were mere inches away.
"Thank you for showing me that," Ino said quietly then, "I appreciate you trusting your mind to me."
Sai moved to lie on his side then before subconsciously reaching out to brush the back of his bent fingers across her cheek. "I trust you with it and more."
Ino took his touch as a sign to shift even closer. She managed a weak smile before she nuzzled into him, and there was a shaky breath against Ino's skin as Sai reciprocated. The pair lay with their eyes closed in the intimacy of their shared state of consciousness. Sai's could not control the way his eyes fluttered between closed lids as he was overcome. Nothing he had shared with her or anyone that came close to her clan technique. It was the sheer warmth of her mental touch, which was both soothing and stoking to Sai's syce. If he had a choice, he would drown in it and remain so but knew it to be impossible.
Sai uttered his next words with a sense of dejection. "Is there anything else you wish to find out?" he asked, "If not, you should get going."
A childish whine of disapproval softly resonated, and when Ino remained unmoving against him, Sai's lips quirked.
Though it did not feel so, Ino knew that she had spent a substantial amount of time in Sai's mind, so the strain would soon become too much; Sai asked the one question she would have dared not unless there was a time constraint.
"How was that experience?" Ino asked in a whisper, "Seeing your body react in such a way?"
Sai, who had been expecting this, still could not find the right words.
"Foreign at the time," he managed to say through an ever-drying mouth, "But natural, I guess."
Ino merely nodded. "Do you feel how I am feeling now?" she asked.
Despite knowing that Ino was prolonging her time, Sai couldn't bear to discourage her and decided to answer her follow-up question. However, he was working hard to breathe past the named feeling.
"Yes, desire," Sai could only whisper, and the following words were strained as he knew all too well, "Will it resolve?"
It was then that Ino's skin took on a bright red as she flushed and her closed eyes screwed up tightly.
"It can," She explained before launching into a justification, "It's not that I want to push you, and you don't have to-"
Sai no longer heard her words, for he was contemplating. Was this the strength of how much she wanted him? Was this what she contended with?
Sai had brought a hand to Ino's cheek then and pressed their foreheads tightly together.
"I would," he eventually cut her off, "To not resolve this would be unbearably cruel to the both of us."
The faintest whimper escaped Ino then before she brought her desperate hands to hold Sai's as she brought her lips to his own.
Though suddenly, there was a rushing sensation.
The next thing Ino knew, she was no longer kissing Sai. Instead, her face was pressed against hot material, which moved in time with a rapidly rising and falling wall. Ino struggled but managed to move her arms in response, and it was then that Ino understood that she was back in her own body.
Had Sai's consciousness overpowered her?!
The utter shock sent Ino desperately pushing herself off Sai's chest, and in her hurry, her hands brushed against something hard. It came to be with all her fumbling; she was nearly sitting in Sai's lap. Ino was about to apologise hurriedly but stopped when her eyes met heated ones. Sai's black eyes were blazing though his face betrayed nothing. Instead, it was the haggard breath issuing from his parted lips and the hardness of his body poking her that left her dizzy.
Having regained control of his body, Sai found the blood pooled at his centre to be completely unbearable. It was made even more tortuous by the soft heat emanating from Ino as she sat astride him. The strain and pressure needed release. There was something to be said for the sensations of being in a physical body. It was evident to Sai that he was being fueled by the afterglow of Ino's consciousness, of which there were remaining traces in his mind.
Sai was grateful because there had been a sense of dread if he had not succeeded in awakening his sexual desire. Not only for the possible implications on his relationship but because he could miss out on another layer of intimacy. Sai would not waste any opportunity to become more bonded with her.
"Sai," Ino called out in almost prayer.
It is what brought him back to see Ino's chest rise and fall rapidly. Her face was completely open, and half-lidded eyes displayed pure desire.
She was likely to apologise, but Sai did not want to hear such a thing. So instead, he desperately reached out to grasp her face and pull her in close- To continue what she started.
"My theory proved true," he managed to say before he sealed their lips together.
There was a resulting moan that sent shivers down Sai's spine, and he knew then that there was no other way he wanted to find relief but how Ino wanted, though he had never experienced it. Sai's hasty hands worked to pull Ino's hair free from its constraints before his fingers became tangled in her golden locks. His hold was unrelenting, and it was to be that Ino's searing hands met his cheeks as she held him tightly in return.
Ino was sure that she would let go before it was time as she was entirely pulled onto Sai's lap. However, when he finally released her, both breathless, Ino took stock of Sai's face craning up at her as she stared down at him. He also looked gone.
"Show me the resolve," Sai breathed harshly.
Ino might have melted completely, and though she worked to pull herself back from the brink. But, instead, she was finding it hard to even concentrate, for what she had wanted for so long was becoming a reality.
"Undress me then," she demanded while reaching to rid Sai of his clothing.
It was to be that at varying points on their shared journey to resolve the pair acknowledged of the other, "You taught me to desire."
The End
A/N: I potentially took a bit of creative liberty with Ino's Mind transfer Jutsu (though I don't feel bad about it).
This is perhaps a more realistic view of Sai's sexuality. He likely would be more on the demisexual spectrum, so I imagine that he would only really engage if he had a strong connection with that person.