SUMMARY: "It's awful," Pansy blurted. Hermione wrinkled her nose. "What is?" "Death Eaters are teachers," Blaise intervened. "For Defense. And our first...our first lesson was..." he swallowed. Draco's eyes met Harry's. "Crucio a first year." His face was cold but Harry saw the pain and fear as clear as day in his eyes. ~ A new take on Deathly Hallows - Draco, Blaise, and Pansy run from Hogwarts, the Dark Lord, their parents, everything and escape to Grimmauld Place where the Golden Trio is already hiding.
TAGS:Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe, Ron Weasley Friendly, Possible OOC like Slytherin Characters, Author tried to stay accurate to characterization & story, Possible Dumbledore Bashing, Potter Anger/Rage, Maybe Black Anger/Rage too?, Hermione ships it, Hermione is a Good Bro, Ron Weasley is a Good Bro, Eventual Apology, Wandless Magic, The Potters are Wizarding Legends, Parselmouth Harry Potter, Self-Deprecating Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy needs a Hug, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Pining, Mutual Pining, Mind Manipulation, Heartache, Insecure Draco Malfoy, (More tags to come with each chapter)
WARNING: *Characters might be OOC but I try to sort out this logical reasoning.* The word count just keeps going up. Also, I started reading bits and pieces of the book which, quite frankly, was a mistake. There's so much information I want to cram in here now but I really can't bc anymore information and I'm just going to forget all of it. Again, I'm going to do my best to keep up with what I write but honestly, I always struggle with that bit so leaving a little note for me and letting me know if something was already talked about or discovered is going to be really helpful.
DISCLAIMER:As much as I do not support JK, I do not own Harry Potter and probably never will :(
LAST CHAPTER : The six visited Godric's Hollow. Pansy explained the Deathly Hallows to Hermione, Ron, and Blaise after discovering the Peverell grave. Harry and Draco were attacked by Nagini. Harry discovers that Voldemort knows where the Elder Wand is - but doesn't know himself.
"How exactly do you feel about Harry, Malfoy?"
The question threw Draco for a loop and he looked up at Weasel with narrowed eyes. They were sitting a few paces just outside the tent in the darkness of night. The two of them were on watch mostly because Potter still couldn't stay awake quite well and was all groggy while Blaise and Hermione started doing more digging as to where the Sword could be and Pansy...well Pansy was just tired.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked Weasel back, a little hotly.
Weasel raised his eyebrows. "Well, Pansy and Hermione seem to think you're in love with him,"
Draco blanched and went white before he could disguise any sort of reaction. And of course Weasel noticed and he went white himself in surprise.
"Oh," he mumbled and Draco stood up abruptly, brushing his pants from the snow.
"For your information, Wease-ly," Draco coughed and cleared his throat. "Potter and I are just friends. And even if I did happen to feel like that -" Draco paused suddenly. He hadn't ever really given this a thought but he remembered the conversation at the Potter house and felt his throat and mouth dry up.
"Well..." Weasel sighed a bit, rubbing his eyes. "You're not really the Malfoy I used to know -"
"Well the Malfoy you used to know didn't have the Dark Lord in his house for a year and half," Draco snapped but then quieted again before sitting down and tucking his knees to his chest. "A lot of things changed...and I meant what I said when I apologized. I really did. I really am sorry Weasley,"
Draco wasn't looking at him but from the low silence, he figured that Weasel was staring at him contemplatively. He shifted a bit under the gaze, feeling only slightly uncomfortable. But he found...with all these apologies, he really did mean it. He really was sorry for everything. And he found himself remembering that statue at the Ministry and the just...sick to his stomach feeling he got.
Apparently I really am a disappointment to my father, he thought bitterly.
"I hope you have changed Malfoy."
Draco startled a bit and looked over his shoulder at Weasel who was still studying him and had a hard, determined look on his face.
"Because if you haven't," he continued. "And you hurt Harry, I will end you."
He gave Draco a long hard look and Draco swallowed a bit. He nodded slightly and muttered, "I'm sure you won't have a chance though...considering Potter wouldn't even dream of being with me."
Weasel snorted. "I wish."
Draco threw him a look, frowning and almost threw out a retort when he thought about every past interaction he had Potter. The looks he would throw at Draco and the talking. The wanting to be friends and the confiding in Draco like they had been friends for years and Draco...felt him start to doubt that belief. Maybe Potter was interested in him like that.
And well, that's where Draco abruptly ended that thought process because he really can't deal with that right now.
So he was actually quite grateful when Weasel's lazy smile turned to one of alertness. "What is that?"
Draco frowned, casting a glance over his shoulder. "What is -?" he froze when he caught sight of what Weasel had been looking at.
A silvery blue misty ball started glowing quite a ways away before it began morphing into a...doe. A silver doe with a blue aura around it. Draco stood slowly, Weasel following his example. They both grabbed a hold of their wands and Weasel started trudging forward, staring at it with curiosity and a determined look that Draco recognized as the 'I'm about to do something dumb' Gryffindor look.
Potter practically wore it all the time.
"What do you think you're doing?" he hissed, jabbing forward to tug Weasel's shoulder to get him to stop.
Weasel shrugged him off and rolled his eyes. "It's fine. That's a patronus and it's Harry's actually."
Draco looked at him sharply, incredulous. "Weasel. Potter is inside. Sleeping. How the hell could that be his patronus?"
Weasel went to open his mouth but then made a soft 'oh' and said, "Right...his is a stag. Antlers," and he mimed antlers on his head.
Draco felt his eye twitch.
"Well then...who is it?" Weasel continued.
Draco threw his hands up. "I don't know! That's why we shouldn't go after it!"
Weasel glanced at him but then back at the patronus and shrugged - fucking shrugged - and started walking towards it slowly, leaves crunching under his feet.
Draco let out a silent growl and mimed throttling Weasel's neck before tromping off after him. Because goddamn it, Draco was not about to let this idiot Gryffindor die. Not because he cared but because he wasn't going to get this deep into this journey with him - or any of them - and have them die. Not today and probably not ever.
Draco caught up fairly easily while Weasel kept following the doe through the forest like a lost puppy. Draco began scanning around, hoping to possibly find the person responsible for the patronus. But it was too bloody dark around them and a Lumos only did so much. The shimmering doe was quite nice for light but it didn't illuminate the entire forest either.
So onward they kept following it. It seemed fairly docile, glancing over to see if it was still following them but didn't attack. All at once it settled over a frozen lake and transformed to its orb state. Weasel finally stopped walking but Draco took a few more paces forward. He frowned.
"Well...I don't think it's from someone who wants to kill us," he announced and Weasel snorted.
"Obviously," the ginger grinned and Draco rolled his eyes before stepping forward more. He nearly slipped on the pond but steadied himself just before he could take an undignified spiral. It didn't stop Weasel from noticing and snorting again.
Draco tossed him a glare but shimmied over to the orb and slowly made a move to grab it when it ducked his grasp and floated through the pond and downward. Draco frowned and knelt down, brushing the snow away and looked down at the spot the orb disappeared down.
His eyebrows knitted together when he noticed something at the bottom glinting at him. "Weasel...what is that?"
He looked up and let out an involuntary snort at the sight of Weasel not just shimmying but waddling his way across the pond like a foal just learning to walk.
Weasel threw him his own glare. "Oh shut up,"
"Of course," Draco grinned. Weasel just rolled his eyes but managed to slip the last step and fall down. Luckily, he fell right next to Draco and the brushed snow. Draco full on laughed at that and Weasel huffed.
He sat up and peered down through the clear area of the pond Draco had cleared away and squinted himself. "A sword?"
Draco peered over his shoulder. "Yes it's very...sword-like," he agreed dryly. "Or is it spear-like? Whichever you prefer I suppose -"
"Malfoy shut up," Weasel breathed, eyes wide all of a sudden. "That's - that's the sword - that's -"
He stood up quickly and nearly threatened to fall over again but didn't, thank Merlin. Draco slid back, watching Weasel with careful eyes. Weasel waved his wand with a whispered, "Diffindo," and the ice slowly began breaking and melting.
"What are you doing?" Draco questioned, feeling his heart rate pick up.
"That's the Sword of Gryffindor," Weasel replied and, to Draco's slight horror, started taking off his shirt.
"Just what are you doing?" Draco spluttered.
"Please, save your ogling for Harry, yeah?" Weasel tossed off his shirt and jacket, giving Draco a look who just spluttered more.
"I will thanks," he snarled. "But I'm not ogling, I am staring in abject horror. There's a difference. Now, what the ruddy hell are you doing?"
"Getting the sword," Weasel shrugged and leaned over the hole before hopping into it with a small bloop.
Draco gaped in disbelief.
"You did not just do that," he squawked and leaned over the hole. "Absolutely no - Weasel! Get back up here you mongering imbecile!"
"Draco?"
Draco lurched, turning to find Potter carefully stepping down into the small grove and onto the pond. He slipped a little bit but began smoothly waddling his way over. Draco swallowed a bit. It was like Potter was gliding across the ice, he did it so smoothly.
"What's happening?" Potter yawned, hands stuffed in his pockets as he scooched over. "Pansy noticed you guys weren't outside and started yelling. We all split up to find you. What happened?"
"A doe appeared," Draco said dryly. "It led us to this pond and now Weasel, like the bloody Gryffindor he is, has just attempted to drown himself in freezing cold water to get the Sword of Gryffindor."
Potter yawned again. "You followed a do -?" His eyes snapped open, green orbs widened. "Wait, he's done what? For what?"
"Weasel...has taken a dip...to get the sword," Draco repeated, pointing to the hole.
Potter gaped. "The sword? The sword?"
Draco threw his arms up. "That's what he said!"
Potter started going a bit faster and slipped down onto the pond. "Well - wait - a doe led you here?"
"A doe patronus," Draco clarified, kneeling down next to Potter.
Potter whipped his head. "A patronus? A doe?"
"Are you hard of hearing or something?" Draco snarled. "Yes, a doe patronus led us to this pond where Weasel spotted the Sword and he's gone to get it." Potter went to say something else when he reared back because the long sharp sword at the bottom cut through the pond water. They both fell back and watched as the sword dipped to the side and slid out onto the ice.
"That's the sword," Potter declared and Draco resisted the urge to strangle him just as Weasel came up, gasping and scrabbling to get out of the water. Potter crawled over and pulled, helping his friend out. "You alright?"
"Peachy," Weasel gasped out. "We have the locket?"
Potter pulled it out from under his shirt.
"Brilliant," Weasel's eyes closed. "D'you reckon we can destroy it now?"
"Probably," Potter nodded.
Draco tightened his jaw. "We should head back first." Potter shook his head.
"We've had this thing with us for too long," he glared. "I want to get rid of it now." He stood up roughly and wandered over to the side near a log while Weasel redressed himself. After Weasel was up and on his feet, him and Draco followed Potter to the edge where he was setting the locket on a log.
"What are you doing?" Draco was getting tired of asking that question.
"I'm setting it up to open it," Potter muttered. "I don't think I can fight it because I have to open it so one of you needs to take the Sword and smash it." he nodded towards the blade which was sitting off to the side.
Draco and Weasel both looked at each other.
Draco sighed loudly and gestured at Weasel. "Well go on then."
For a moment, to Draco's horror, it looked like Weasel might argue. But then he shrugged and stepped forward, grabbing the hilt and twisting it deftly in his hand.
"Whatever is in there," Potter warned. "It's going to put up a fight."
Weasel nodded and Draco stepped back to form a half sort of circle. He raised his wand even though he knew it wasn't going to do any good. Just in case, he reasoned.
"The bit of Riddle that was in that diary tried to kill me." Potter continued and stepped back himself. "Alright...on three. One. Two." Weasel raised the sword over his head, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Draco felt his wand arm shake a bit. "Three." Potter said finally and then he opened his mouth again and a hissing noise came out.
Draco's heart lurched a bit as the hissing and hushed words of nonsense served as a reminder that Potter was in fact, a parselmouth. Forgot about that, he thought wearily and nearly screamed when the locket suddenly flicked open. For a moment, Draco swore he saw an eye but then inky blackness exploded upwards and flared around, forming a hurricane.
It sent them falling backwards and a loud noise came from it, obviously speaking but the words didn't make sense. Draco fell down and scrambled for his fallen wand when he heard Potter yelling. He managed to dig up his wand and he flipped again to see Potter backing into a tree, flinching and gritting his teeth, looking like he was in pain.
Weasel was scrambling farther backwards, reaching towards the sword he dropped while he stared at the black mass in horror. It kept making this hissing noise and then Draco heard Potter call out, "Ron it's lying!" and with a start he realized it was talking.
But why can't I understand it? Draco thought a little helplessly when he heard it.
"Do you really think you can fool them?"
Draco's heart stuttered and his throat closed and he felt his blood go cold. He scrambled back further, knuckles going white as he stared at the mass, wide-eyed.
"I have seen your heart too, Draco Malfoy. I know what you really are. And in the end, they will never trust you."
He stared as the black mass morphed showing Weasel and Hermione and Potter looking at him with disgust in their eyes and Draco felt his heart drop. "No..." he whispered.
"They will never accept you. You will always be the Death Eater that couldn't. The coward who wouldn't fight. No redemption. No trust. No one."
Draco flinched with each word, backing himself against a tree and watched with wide eyes as Weasel screamed and grabbed the sword and ran towards the locket. For a moment, Draco almost believed he was about to kill Potter but then he hit the locket and it screamed.
"You know I'm right!" it screamed at him. "You know I am! You'll never amount to anything! Not against Potter or Weasley or Granger - You are NOTHING -!"
Draco flinched again, backing himself further against the tree as he shook like a leaf. Each word bit into him and the screaming just got louder as the black mass exploded and dissipated into smaller bits that began to float around all three of them. He felt some of it land on his arms and it felt like small bullets; burning his skin and making him recoil and hiss with pain.
He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. It looked like neither Potter nor Weasel had seen him or what he had seen in the mass - they were talking about something else and Draco figured it must have been whatever Weasel saw. He tried to search deeper in himself as everything the voice said would make sense in one way or another.
What if he was faking it? What if he was such a good liar he was lying to himself? And if he wasn't - was he ever going to be like Potter and his friends? The Golden Trio would be the heroes. Him, Pansy, and Blaise would just be the extras. Nothing.
You are nothing.
"Draco?"
Draco's eyes flew open and he instinctively flinched from the hand resting on his shoulder. Potter stepped back a bit, surprised but Draco quickly shook it off and shakily got to his feet. "Right well, we should head back before Pansy and Hermione and Blaise get too worried."
"You saw something, didn't you?" Potter's eyes hardened and Draco froze, back facing Potter as he tried to control his breathing. "Draco...whatever you saw - it was lying to you. It was just trying to -"
"If I saw something," Draco snarled, whirling defensively. "Then trust me when I say it wasn't lying to me." He snapped his mouth shut and glared furiously at Potter and Weasel.
Weasel looked torn between curious and downright murderous. Draco figured that was from the way he was lashing out and he was just protecting his friend but he couldn't care in the moment. His heart was beating emphatically to the point where he could barely hear his thoughts.
Potter was just looking at him, an unreadable but concerned look on his face. "Draco..."
"Let's just head back," Draco snapped and turned on his heel, stomping towards the tent and trying to shake off the sick feeling in his stomach. From the rustling of leaves behind him, Draco pieced together that Potter and Weasel were following after him. He could also pretty much feel the glare from Potter and it made him want to whirl and snap at Potter, maybe duel him or throw a curse to just get him to stop.
I was foolish to think this was a good idea, he thought harshly. It was only a matter of time before the golden trio threw him and his friends out. And if that didn't happen, the world would still hate them. Despise them.
Potter was wrong, he grumbled. The locket didn't lie. He paled a bit. It never lied.
"Where have you been?!" Pansy and Granger were both equally mother-hennish when they came back.
Granger was furious. Her hands were on her hips and Pansy and Blaise were standing behind her looking equally upset. Draco started to march past her but she pushed him back a bit.
"Both of you!" she shouted, waving her hands. "Were just gone! We had no idea where you went - you can't just - just leave like that -"
Draco tried to get past her again, not in the mood for a lecture but Granger pushed him back again and he found himself snarling out, "Would you back off Granger?!"
Granger flinched and her eyes went wide but Draco was so red hot with anger right now that he didn't even care and just pushed her out of the way. Draco wasn't aware of the hushed silence that fell over the group; he was too busy marching into the tent and blindly reaching for his things when Blaise flung the tent door open, seething.
"What, in Salazar's name, happened?" he hissed and Draco bristled before freezing in surprise.
Blaise never got angry easily. He was always cool and collected with only a flash in his eyes showing any bit of emotion. This Blaise had an angry air around him and his eyes were burning. He looked like he was barely holding himself.
Gathering himself, Draco seethed back. "Nothing of your concern,"
"Considering Potter looks ready to murder someone and you called Hermione Granger again, something definitely did happen!" Blaise blew air through his teeth. "I'm almost surprised you didn't call her mudblood again, you've gone back that far!" Draco jolted at that and felt another rising surge of anger.
"I'd never call her that again," he retaliated, snapping his trunk shut.
Blaise startled, the anger draining out of him to be replaced with wide-eyed surprise. "What are you doing? Circe, you're not leaving are you?"
Draco bristled again and thought about retorting something but simply reached for his wand, trying to think of someplace safe. His manor wouldn't work but maybe one of the holiday homes would.
Blaise's eyes widened further. "Draco...don't."
"Why shouldn't I?" Draco hissed, snatching his wand and concentrating when someone knocked it out of his hands. His eyes popped open and he pushed back on the hands, snarling out, "Potter - what are you doing?!"
"What did you see?" he demanded instead and Draco snarled again, stepping back and glaring but refusing to speak. "Draco, please -"
"Why do you care!" he shouted. "There's nothing - there's nothing to talk about! There's nothing to say! Like I said - the locket didn't lie to me -"
"It obviously did if you think you need to leave!" Granger came into the tent, followed by Pansy and Weasel and Draco screamed, throwing his hands up.
"Would you lot give it a rest!" he yelled.
"Not until you tell me -" Potter started.
"Even when all this is over, we won't be hailed as heroes!" Draco roared. "It'll be you - and Weasel - and Granger - the rest of us will be nothing!" He scratched his arm, ripping the shirt upwards where his Dark Mark was. "I'll always be the Death Eater that couldn't - that wouldn't - the pureblood that sided with the light for the fame - the glory! Not because it was right or because it was good, because no one - no one - can trust a Death Eater!"
Draco reeled back, realizing he was crying. He rubbed his eyes and face, turning away from the others, breathing heavily. There. He laid it all out. Told all of them exactly why he was upset. What the locket showed him - what it always showed him.
And it's the truth, he thought bitterly.
"I trust you."
Draco whirled. His eyes narrowed when he saw Potter staring at him with a hard set look on his face. He felt his face twist into a snarl. "Oh I bet you do," he hissed, eyes flashing and Draco really wanted to stop, he wanted to stop talking but he couldn't. "Golden Boy Potter with a savior complex a mile long willing to rehabilitate the -"
"Would you shut up?" Potter interrupted, looking irritated. "It's not about that. You know it isn't."
Draco bared his teeth but didn't say anything, shaking and feeling something crawl under his skin. He was pretty sure he was having some sort of nervous breakdown. He honestly hadn't expected what he saw in that locket to matter this much because he had been doing so good. He thought he was getting along with Potter and Granger and Weasel but...somewhere in the back of his mind, he had always thought it was a ruse.
And now it's come to light.
"Stop calling yourself a Death Eater." Potter continued. "You aren't one. Bellatrix Lestrange is. The Carrows are. You aren't. And don't say that shit that Hermione and Ron and I don't care. We get it okay! We understand what you're risking and we're grateful you're here."
Draco found himself scoffing, wrapping his arms around his chest, wanting to curl into a ball and die. Or better yet, grab his stuff and Disapparate.
Potter was suddenly next to him, gently grabbing his wrist and squeezing it. "I trust you." He repeated and his bright green eyes entrapped Draco's and he felt like he couldn't look away. "I trust you with my life."
"Why?" Draco jerked away, shouting but his voice broke and wobbled.
"Because you've changed," Potter insisted and Draco scoffed. "Or maybe you haven't changed at all! You're just not scared anymore!"
Draco froze and his breath caught while his eyes began to blur. Was that true? Had he always just been scared?
Of what? Draco thought but realized he could come up with a whole list of answers.
Scared of his father's disappointment, scared of his mother and father dying, scared of what the world thought, scared of breaking, scared of dishonoring his family name, scared to be anything but he was taught because he was scared to change after everything he had been, scared that no one would accept him if he turned and changed, scared he would still always and only forever be worth and associated with the Dark Mark and the Dark Lord, that'd he'd never get to be who he wanted to be or who he thinks he is.
"Draco,"
Draco flinched but then there was a hand on his shoulder.
"Please," Potter whispered. "Please don't go."
"I'm not worth it," Draco whispered back, pulling away but Potter grabbed his waist and held him in place.
"Yes you are," he said simply, voice strong. "You are worth it. To me, you are."
A tense silence filled the tent as Draco looked up and stared at Potter's eyes, searching for anything that said he was lying. But Potter looked as genuine as ever, looking at Draco with such a strong emotion he couldn't quite place that it made Draco shiver.
He swallowed harshly. "I'll stay." he murmured and Potter let out a sudden breath of relief.
And then Potter was hugging him.
He froze, not wanting to pull away but not knowing how or if he should hug back. So he looked over Potter's shoulder instead and found that everyone else was looking at them too. He wasn't sure what he had expected but the look of relief on all their faces made him want to cry.
When Potter pulled away, Hermione spoke up. "Bed. All of you. It's been a long...long day. Night. Whatever. I'll keep watch."
"I'll go with you," Pansy coughed, clearing her throat since she sounded a little choked.
"Pansy..." Hermione tried to protest but Pansy waved her off.
"Hermione please, I can't fall asleep right now," she sighed and Hermione hesitated but nodded and they headed outside while Blaise and Weasel both found their bunks.
Potter may have let him out of the hug but he was still hanging onto Draco's hand for dear life like he thought Draco still might leave. But he let Potter lead them to sit down on the bunk and just relax for a bit.
"I know it might not mean much," Potter said quietly after a moment. "But I meant what I said. And...and I know some people might not believe you. Not believe this story if it ever gets out but...but do you really need the whole world to like you?" Potter looked at him and Draco gave a reflexive answer.
"No. Just you."
Potter looked startled and Draco startled himself when he realized it was true. And then Potter gave him a wonderfully shy smile of just pure adoration and happiness.
Draco's lips twitched before forming his own smile.