After a short break, I'm back with a new chapter. Hope you like it!


Chapter 11: Suffer Through It

"Mary Margaret, close everything, even the entrance! Open only to those we know. If any bastard lurks here, shoot them. Emma, take care of Killian and I'll look around to see if the coast is clear. "

Will acted like a newly minted training officer, his voice authoritative, but Emma had no intention of arguing with him. Mary Margaret merely nodded, indicating that she agreed with the order, and Will slipped out the door into the storm. Mary Margaret slammed the door behind him and began to put the locks on.

The house, like most of the buildings nearby, remained intact, probably because it was a rather sparsely populated area and the residents didn't return to their homes until late in the evening. That was why David had chosen this apartment, and Emma could now see how good that decision had been. It saved their lives today.

She decided it would be best if she took Killian directly to the upstairs bathroom. She put her arm around his waist and lifted his arm so that it was around her neck. They started walking, slowly, at his pace. They made it their way up the stairs relatively quickly and stumbled into the bathroom. Killian lowered himself onto the edge of the bathtub while she retrieved a bandage from the cabinet and two towels with old bloodstains.

Yeah, well, she'd patched David up a few times too. It wasn't her first rodeo.

"Are you completely out of your freaking mind? You could've died!" She couldn't hold back her frustration any longer as she walked up to him.

It seemed so absurd, the way he sat there on the edge of the tub, in the flickering orange light of the ceiling lamp, with blood dripping from his skin.

"It's nothing, Swan. I've had it worse itching my nose with the wrong hand," he replied, looking kind of tired.

She turned up the heater a little, though she doubted Killian was cold at all. "You're crazy," she muttered, shaking her head as she gently reached for his chin and turned his head to the side so she could get a closer look at the wound on his temple. His five o'clock shadow tingled her fingertips.

"A simple thank you would suffice." His lips twisted into a smile and Emma rolled her eyes. She believed he must be feeling better.

"Okay. Thanks. But don't do that again! Look at your hand, too! By the time I'm done picking out the shards itbe will be morning," she grumbled, but she wasn't annoyed by the potential night's work, but by Killian's ability to be completely insane.

As if he didn't care about his life at all.

"Okay, I don't think that needs stitches," she said after cleaning his face. He calmly let her treatment wash over him without making a sound. She could see, however, that he was gritting his teeth as she reached for his wrist.

"They'll come out on their own soon enough," Killian said with a shrug as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

She gave him a withering look and he seemed a little embarrassed.

"Oh, yeah. And in the meantime, you'd be screaming in pain, completely beside yourself. I saw what happened in the car when your body was trying to get rid of the shards. No, don't even try to deny it," she waved him off as he opened his mouth.

She spread one of the towels on his lap. "Now, hold on, this is not going to be pleasant…" she warned, then grabbed the largest shard of glass as carefully as she could and pulled it out with a determined motion.

She could feel his whole body twitch, but only a soft hiss left his lips.

"Is your hand going to be okay? I mean, a human would definitely not be able to use it after that…" She tried to make him talk and distract him so he paid as little attention as possible to what she was doing.

"Sure," he nodded, then glanced down at his hand. "It'll be as good as new in two days at the most."

"Two days?" she asked, puzzled. "But so far your wounds have healed much faster…"

"The healing doesn't always work that well... It's um… periodic," he muttered, wincing again as she plucked out another piece.

In fifteen minutes, she had managed to remove all the shards from his hand. He didn't say a word during the "surgery", but when the bandage was applied around his palm, he let out a barely audible sigh of relief.

"Thank you, love. I'll go down and see if Will is back…"

"We're not done yet," she informed him as she grabbed another towel and reached for his shirt as a matter of course, completely forgetting herself.

"Oh, there's no need, it's really not serious…" He shook his head, almost in fright, and tried to bounce off the edge of the tub, but the result was a painful "oomph".

"I can see that. Don't be such a child, I promise I'll be careful."

"No." His eyes gleamed with horror and his face flushed.

She grinned against her will.

Well, well.

"Are you… seriously shy?" She burst out laughing.

When she noticed Killian's cold and impatient look, her sudden joy evaporated.

"Sorry, I was just surprised," she apologized, and at his grim look she began to wonder why he really didn't want to take his shirt off. "Look, Killian, I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to-"

"It's alright," he waved off her apology. "Just leave that here and I'll take care of the rest." He gestured to the first aid kit next to the sink.

"How? You can't even use your hand. Let me help you," she pleaded softly.

"I'll figure it out," he continued stubbornly.

She couldn't understand why he was so opposed to her help. What does he think is going to happen? That she would run screaming out the door screaming at the sight of a male torso? Come on.

When her eyes fell on his face, she realized it was exactly what he was afraid of, and her cheeks grew hot again. It wasn't nice of her to laugh earlier.

"Arms up! I want to see it," she declared firmly, stepping closer to him.

"Pardon?"

"You heard me," she sighed, reaching for the hem of his shirt and was about to pull it up, but Killian, anticipating her intention, captured her hand.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" He stared at her in shock.

"I'm undressing you," she replied with a sly grin to make him relax and not feel so uncomfortable.

She had to look at the wound, he had already lost a lot of blood. Unfortunately, he wasn't immortal, he couldn't survive everything, even if he sometimes he acted the opposite.

"You know this is sexual harassment, don't you?" he finally smiled. He seemed amused by her impatience. She, on the other hand, was immensely relieved. Sometimes, he really did act like a man-child. It was much better to see him like this than angry and desperate, so she felt better, too.

"So sue me," she played along, letting out a soft laugh. "Now, come on, arms up!"

He grumbled for another half minute, but then, at the sight and knowledge of the amount of blood he had lost, he changed his mind and bitterly raised both his arms — as far as his wounds would allow — and she pulled off the once black, now rather dark red, blood-soaked fabric. She tossed it into the laundry basket, then turned to Killian, and on a sudden impulse, brushed a lock of his dark hair from his forehead.

Looking down, she immediately understood why he protested, but she didn't even flinch when she saw the many scars and scalds tarnishing his lightly sun-kissed skin. It was nowhere near as repulsive as he believed and expressed. He tried to cover a larger scar with a tattoo of a compass, with more or less success. The drawing was beautiful, the motif was adorned with an unknown type of flower, but it still couldn't quite hide what Killian wanted so badly. On the other hand, his upper body was muscular and lean, the dark hair that always peeked out from under his shirt spilling across his chest.

"Beautiful, is it not?" his voice tinged with intense irony.

"I really like the compass. It goes well with your pirate shtick you got going," she replied, pointing to his earring and eyeliner, noticing how his eyes bore into her in amazement. "You look really good," it slipped from her lips before she could even think about what she was saying. She would have liked the ground to just swallow her because she didn't want to let him know that directly. She could feel her cheeks reddening dangerously fast.

"You really don't see…"

"Of course I see them, Killian. But those are just a few scars. Now stop being a child and sit back down. Or if you can stand through it, then by all means."

As she cleaned the wound above his belly button, she felt his eyes boring into her head. She tried to focus on the cut, which, unfortunately, needed stitches. It was long and deep enough, but thankfully free of broken glass. Killian was obviously not concerned about her having to stick a needle into his stomach without anesthesia.

"It wouldn't be the first time. I have had to endure this before," he said with a shrug. "I can suffer through it now, too."

Only a few quiet groans escaped his lips during the entire procedure.

"I think it's done," she announced solemnly after bandaging the remaining minor wounds.

She tossed the two bloody towels into the wash next to his shirt, which he probably wouldn't use again.

When she finished cleaning up, she walked over to the tiny window and glanced out over the city. The rain was tapping rhythmically on the glass, and from here, in this part of town, everything seemed fine. The world showed every sign of being peaceful again, and today's events just seemed improbable, as if it were just a nightmare she had finally woken up from.

She leaned against the cool tiles and turned her head toward Killian. He poked at the bandage on his stomach and managed to put a smile on her face. Few would use the word 'cute' to describe him, but that was the first word that came to mind as she watched him.

After he finished fiddling with the gauze, he lifted his eyes to hers, and after some hesitation, walked slowly over to her, but for some reason she felt that his unusually leisurely pace had nothing to do with his injuries.

"Thank you," he finally blurted out when he had been standing in front of her for a good half minute, and that made her smile.

Was that why he put his body so close to hers? To thank her? Well, not that it bothered her. In fact, his closeness felt frighteningly good. Her fingers reached out to him almost involuntarily, longing for him to embrace her. To kiss her.

She was still scared to death of her own thoughts and feelings, and was half sure that she had just fallen into his trap like a silly little mouse and it would be very painful to get out of it. But for now, she wanted to enjoy the pleasure of this "cheese" and forget about what was probably still waiting for her.

"You're welcome." She couldn't take her eyes off him.

Was it right? Not right? Was it allowed? Or was it forbidden? Honestly, she really didn't care about the answers, she just wanted him, plain and simple. She wanted to live with the knowledge that someone really and truly loved her. A small glimmer of hope lit up in front of her, and that was enough for her to solidify her decision. She trusted Killian. She wanted to trust him. He would never hurt her.

While she had thought that would be the case with every guy in her past, they had all turned out to be major disappointments.

He must have seen the desperate and frightened look on her face. He took a step back, but as if her arm had taken on a life of its own, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

"Swan? Are you all right?" He tried to decipher her thoughts through her eyes, but she wouldn't let him. She closed her eyes and turned her face away from his scrutinizing gaze.

"No. Nothing's all right," she murmured, more to herself, but of course Killian understood her every word crystal clear.

He lifted his hand and gently stroked her face with his thumb, and she let her cheek rest in his palm as her heartbeat quickened.

"You're not afraid of me, are you?"

"Killian, I'm afraid of almost everyone," she admitted, and she thought she had managed to surprise him again with her answer.

"You don't have to be afraid of me," he assured her, and she had to grimace. But for him, she was happy to believe it. Oh, sweet, blissful ignorance.

He put his arms around her waist and hugged her, and she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. His hot breath tickled her skin on the side of her head and she melted completely into the embrace. She lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck, snuggling up to his entire body as her heart tried to burst through her ribs with a furious thump.

"Shh, calm down, lass. It's alright." He stroked her hair and she didn't understand why, but a single tear rolled down her cheek. He was too kind. Until now he had been like a rock, but she had seen the real Killian, and was no longer fooled by the tough and stoic exterior. She could trust him.

"Do you want me to leave?" It wasn't an accusation, just a polite offer. He couldn't decide what would be better for her and he wasn't alone in this dilemma.

"No. Stay." She pressed tighter against him and he stroked her back reassuringly. He lifted his head from her shoulder and leaned over to her again. He pressed an innocent kiss to her lips, hesitant as a teenager on a first date.

Until it became anything but.

Emboldened, he tasted her lips with renewed passion when he saw she didn't protest at all. The softness of his mouth and the gentle advance of his tongue spoke to her, giving him permission and fiercely returning the kiss she so dreaded, yet so longed for.

Gently, she ran her sharpened nails over his back, careful not to break his exposed skin. She could feel the scars beneath her fingers, weaving thickly around his skin. Her heart sank, for he deserved a much better life than his wounds told her.

He took a deep breath, sighed into the kiss, then his lips left hers in favor of the side of her neck. He bit gently into the sensitive, heated skin and kissed her, when the bathroom door suddenly flew wide open.

Killian threw his head back in surprise, and Emma blinked over his shoulder in alarm.

Ruby stood in the doorway with her mouth and eyes wide open. With a similar expression, Eloise stood behind her. Then, within seconds, they thankfully overcame their minor shock. Ruby's mouth twisted into a wide grin, but Eloise just stared rather unkindly at Emma.

"I see you're feeling much better, Killian," Ruby remarked with a mischievous grin. "Emma's first aid skills are spot on, they don't need us here. Come on, Eloise," she chuckled, and then quietly closed the door behind them.

"Great," she muttered dejectedly.

"What's wrong?" He pulled her to his chest again.

"Eloise is going to run straight to David with the news."

"And?" He didn't seem to give the slightest thought to what that meant.

"And David made me promise that I would stay away from you. I guess you know he doesn't like you very much..."

What was the little bitch doing here, anyway?

"Of course I know that. He's already made it perfectly clear and even threatened me," he added. It seemed that David's behavior only amused him. Her, not so much.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I haven't had a chance to. It just happened last night when we came back from the woods. Somehow it got through to him that we were out there together," he replied calmly, David's hostility not troubling him in the slightest.

"But what exactly did he say to you?" She was deeply upset by her brother's behavior. What the hell had he been thinking? Threatening Killian? She couldn't believe it.

"Just the usual thing when one's brother is worried about who his sister is spending her time with. He told me that if I so much as touched you with a finger, I'd surely regret it. That he would beat the crap out of me. Oh, and that he would castrate me. I think that's all of it." he grinned.

"I'll talk to him later. But you should rest now—"

"No, I'm completely fine," he protested, as if he was more afraid of being in bed than David himself. "And I should go anyway—"

"Go? Go where?" she asked, confused.

"I have a few… things to do," he blurted out reluctantly.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not going to tell me what?"

What the hell was so urgent?

"Because I'm not going to," he answered quietly. "Maybe later—"

"Killian, don't do this," she groaned in exasperation. Why was he being so goddamn secretive again?

"Just trust me, love. I promise I won't do anything… wrong."

She turned her head away from him. "Go get some rest in my room, I think the guest room is occupied now. I'm sure you don't want to sleep in the same room with David," she murmured, turning to leave the bathroom. But before she could do that, Killian grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.

"Swan, don't do this. If I could, I would tell you." He held her face between his hands and scanned her face anxiously.

"Okay," she replied softly. "I'm not mad, I'm just… scared." She took his hands and pulled them away from her face. "Take care of yourself!"

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. He stared at her for a while, then she hurried out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her.


Killian didn't come after her, although she stood outside the door for several more minutes. But not a sound came from the room, and she finally made her way down the stairs to meet the other members of their ragtag group. Eloise, as usual, stared at her with a cold expression on her face and the hatred in her eyes didn't subside. Ruby blinked at her in surprise, obviously questioning the absence of Killian beside her. Will, Mary Margaret, and the guy named Arthur lingered under the arch that led to the kitchen while August and David argued heatedly about something.

Emma stood hesitantly at the foot of the stairs for a few seconds, but before she could bring herself to scold her brother and the Elf, David pushed himself off the wall and walked right up to her. He gave her a dagger-like look, but she suspected hers was similar. This time she wasn't impressed by his anger.

"Where is he? Is he in your room?" He tried to march up the stairs beside her, but of course, she wouldn't let him, stepping in front of him and pushing him back to the foot of the stairs.

"Leave him alone! He needs to rest. And by the way, in case you haven't heard, he just saved my life! And Mary Margaret's. And if I remember correctly, he saved your life, too," she growled, apparently loud enough that everyone in the room turned to look at her.

"I don't care! I talked to him and that's not what we agreed on!" David hissed.

"That's not what happened. You threatened him, that doesn't exactly fall under the category of agreement," she raised her voice and her brother became even angrier. The whole thing was turning into a full-blown argument. But it was too late for her to stop herself, David had managed to piss her off irrevocably.

"Don't you realize that I only want what's best for you? That bastard is just taking advantage of you! And I'm going to talk to him now, whether you like it or not! I don't even care if he's dying!" he shouted in her face, pushing past her and striding up the stairs. She stumbled against the banister and almost fell over.

"David! Stop right there!" she shouted after him and hurried up the stairs as well. She took two at a time so she could catch up with him. She almost managed to grab a hold of his sweater, but it slipped from her fingers.

He dashed down the hall, straight to the door leading to her room, and burst through without knocking. He opened his mouth in surprise.

"David!" She was at the end of her patience, his ridiculous behavior had to stop.

"I told you!" David's triumphant grin confused her and she came to a halt.

She stepped up beside him, confused, and a little afraid.

To her surprise, the room was completely empty and the window was wide open. The dark blue muslin curtain was swirled around by the cold, biting wind.

Icy fear coursed through her limbs and she couldn't believe her eyes. He was gone.

"Why are you so surprised about this? I told you he was just a petty—"

"Shut up!" she shook her head and stumbled into the room.

Killian obviously hadn't rested on the bed for even a second, the bedclothes were completely untouched. She walked over to the window and leaned over, but there was no sign of him outside.

"Seriously, Emma, I don't know what you were expecting. I thought you'd be smarter than that. He played the gentleman and you fell into his arms the first chance you got. That's not you." David shook his head and continued to ignore her completely. "I have no idea how he managed to seduce you, but I bet you anything that he was lying through his teeth." Emma tried not to pay attention to David's words, but each sentence reverberated uncomfortably in her head, and she felt like her skull would crack if he kept talking. He didn't seem to care in the least that every single word hurt her physically. She slumped on the bed and buried her face in her hands.

"Did you really think that beast would turn into a lovesick puppy-dog? And now I'm the bad guy for trying to warn you! Now look at you! This is exactly what I was trying to prevent…" David's voice gradually softened and then fell silent.

Emma felt him sit down next to her on the bed. He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away. She was still angry. "Get out! Leave me alone!" She pushed him off the bed and barely waited for him to get to his feet before she shoved him out of the room. Once he was outside, she slammed the door with all her might, and the bang echoed through the empty hallway. She didn't understand what had come over her, she was afraid of herself. She was acting like a crazy person.

She plopped back down on the bed and tried to convince herself of Killian's innocence. He couldn't have tricked her, but… everyone thought she was wrong about him. What if they were right?

She didn't understand herself or what was happening to her. Why was she so upset? Surely he couldn't be that important to her. It didn't make sense that she had gotten caught in this particular trap. There had to be a way out. An escape.

No! Everything was all right! Killian would definitely be back tomorrow, and then she would discuss everything with him. Everything would be fine, she had nothing to worry about!

She took a deep breath and the thought that everything would be settled tomorrow calmed her down.

Her gaze slid to her desk, where at least half a dozen photos adorned her homemade picture frames. Her favorite, however, had been carved by Neal. She knew he had been working on it for over a week, but his hard work had paid off, it had turned out beautifully.

She put her favorite picture of them in it, it fit perfectly in the frame with the tree leaves intertwined. In the picture, they were lying on their backs in the woods behind the house, facing each other. Their heads were side by side and for once, he was the one holding the phone. She was always the one taking pictures like crazy, capturing everything she liked.

She picked up the frame and gently stroked the smooth, cool surface of the glass, and for a moment, the fading, silvery glow of the moon shimmered on the picture. Neal never lied to her, he never hid anything from her.

Her thoughts returned to Killian, she couldn't help but think of him. Had he really lied to her? It didn't make sense, because why would he do that? But then what did he have to hide?

The only thing she was sure of was that David had managed to rattle her again. The thought that Killian might be leading her on hurt like hell, and it settled relentlessly in her mind.

She glanced at the photo again. She missed Neal terribly and the security that only he had given her so far in her life. Guilt also curled in her stomach with renewed force; she felt like she was betraying him. And she felt like she was betraying herself as well, because she had promised never to let anyone near her again. But Killian managed that too; she had undoubtedly fallen in love with something in him.

She hugged the picture to her chest and leaned back on the bed. Joyfully, she surrendered to the sweet, empty nothingness that suddenly weighed on her. She enjoyed the almost intoxicating coolness of the wind caressing her face and every thought slowly left her mind…


She didn't think there was another fool in the house who could wake up at four in the morning and wander into the kitchen, but she was clearly mistaken. August seemed to have been sitting there for a long time when she entered, with only the flickering light of the candle in the center of the table to keep him company. He propped his chin on his palm and stared into the small flame. He didn't even look up when she entered.

She deliberately refrained from greeting him, trudged stubbornly to the refrigerator, grabbing a jug of milk, and took a big gulp.

"What are you doing up so early, Emma? Or did you not go to sleep at all?" August finally looked at her, and his cautious gaze worried her a little. He studied her ruefully.

She was already thinking of a biting retort when he sighed and pulled one of the chairs toward her.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."

That piqued her interest, and she quickly decided she wasn't going to be a jerk this time.

Without saying a word, she walked over to the offered chair and took a seat. She placed the milk in front of her and looked questioningly at August. "So talk."

"It's about Killian," he began with an embarrassed cough. "Over the course of the evening, I have noticed something that I just can't place. You probably already know more about it than I do, and it will no doubt make more sense to you—"

"August, I swear to God…" she warned and he immediately continued.

"I don't know if you know this man, Arthur—"

"No, I don't know him. Can you get to the point?" she interrupted him impatiently. Her nerves were on the verge of snapping.

"All right, I'll tell you. So, the Guild's bounty hunters came up in a conversation. I'm sure you've heard about them."

"Maybe David mentioned them once. They've done spying and assassinations in the past. But I thought their activities were banned years ago. How is that relevant now?" She raised her eyebrow. August's expression wasn't reassuring in the least. He was clearly torn, which was not at all in keeping with his habits, and his always determined actions were evaporating.

"The group of the Bounty Hunters hasn't been disbanded at all, and Arthur is one of them. I was surprised when he told me that. They're not exactly shouting it from the rooftops. But it doesn't matter, it's up to him to decide how much he wants to blab about his own life. But he also told me something much more interesting," August remarked somberly.

"What is it? Please just say what you want to say!"

"So Arthur is working as a spy, infiltrating the Vampires and other creatures. He said the new leader had been chosen before yesterday's disaster, but under somewhat stormy circumstances. The two most likely candidates were someone named Regina and Zelena, Vampire sisters. Which is why it's shocking what happened. Regina killed her sister and declared that anyone who would dare to question her power, would find death. And yesterday's bloodbath was arranged at her request and in her honor," August explained, watching her face carefully, waiting for her reaction like a predator lying in wait for prey, but she was very careful not to twitch a single facial muscle. She didn't want to give anything away, certainly not about Killian's past.

She stared at August impassively. "Yeah? This is all very interesting, but I still don't understand the connection. What does any of this have to do with Killian?"

"Then you know very little about your knight in black armor," he snorted harshly.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered, freezing in her chair. She was beginning to have a very bad feeling.

"Arthur had to spend a lot of time in that filth and mentioned that he saw Killian there an inordinate amount of times, plus he moved in pretty elite circles, so to speak. He seemed to be very good friends with their leader, Regina. However, Killian is not one of the Bounty Hunters of the Guild, at least not as far as Arthur knows. And that's more than suspicious, because usually they know about each other. If you're not a Bounty Hunter, you can't do missions like that at all."

Emma didn't answer, she had no idea what to say. Her mind was completely blank, just staring at August. She seemed unable to digest and comprehend what she had heard the first time.

"It's a lie," she finally whispered. That was the only explanation. Killian would never do such a thing, he was…

"Emma, listen to me! If he really was a spy, he should have reported to the Council that night, along with Arthur and—"

"How do you know he didn't?" she snarled, losing her patience. That was it! That was the solution! Killian worked for the Hunters too, but he just didn't tell anyone he was a spy! A triumphant grin spread across her face. She knew Killian was innocent.

"I know because Arthur returned a few hours ago and the Council hasn't heard from your precious boyfriend in over twenty-four hours."