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Chapter 97: Where Do I Go From Here?

Normal P.O.V.

Two weeks since the Five Nation's victory in the Fourth Great Shinobi War were quickly approaching. And, although our heroes worked themselves to the bone, relief started to set in when things began to quiet down. At this point, most of the missing shinobi had been found and treated for their injuries. Anyone who did not survive had a letter and one of their momentums sent to their families by a specially formed squad. It was not easy for anyone, but it gave most survivors and the families of the deceased the closure they deserved.

The war was unlike anything that anyone had ever faced. Even the seasoned veterans who fought in the previous war had nothing to compare to the recent one. And, although they had prevailed, no one felt like a victor. At most, some were just glad that they were still alive. The anger, depression, and turmoil left in the war's wake left most with a sense of emptiness and worthlessness. Unfortunately, Karin was one of the shinobi who struggled with these emotions also.

Our young red-haired female fox finished her rounds at the hospital and reported to Sakura on the patients she saw. However, as Karin gave her report, the lack of her typical luster in her voice caught Sakura off guard and greatly worried her.

"And finally, the patient in room 246 seemed to fully recover from his injuries and is ready to return home. Here are the other patients that I felt are ready for discharge but need your signature and approval," Karin sighed as she dumped the pile of patients' charts on Sakura's desk and sat in the chair across the pink-haired bunny.

"Thank you, Karin. If you wait a moment, I will sign off on them, and you can have the nurses deliver them to the patients." Sakura nodded before she started on the pile.

"You're not gonna look over my notes first?"

"Do I need to?" Sakura asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's up to you. I figured you would want to see yourself before putting your name on them. And, if I may be so bold, doesn't Lady Tsunade need to sign off on them? Or is she finally entrusting some of the responsibility to you?" Karin teased with a grin as she leaned back in her chair.

"Surprisingly enough, she made me her second in command right when we returned. I think she finally realized that she can't do her Hokage duties on top of running a large hospital alone. But, of course, we both have Shikamaru to thank for that." Sakura smiled as she returned to the files.

"That deer boy has his hands full with being the advisor to three Hoakges. Lady Tsunade, Kakashi-sama, and Naruto will definitely give him a run for his money."

Both girls chuckled until an awkward silence engulfed the room. As she continued to sign off on the files, Sakura couldn't help but notice the far-off look in her companion's eyes. It didn't take long until the pink-haired girl put her pen down with a sigh and leaned back in her chair.

"Karin, is everything… ok?"

"Hm? Oh, of course! Why would you not think so?"

"It's just that lately you seem… distracted and depressed. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Karin bit her bottom lip nervously and played with the ends of her long red hair before answering, "No. There's nothing wrong with me. Maybe I'm… stressed from all the work from these past two weeks. I'll be fine. I promise."

Sakura concentrated on her friend as she watched her body language. Her expert seafoam green eyes saw every nervous tick and slight agitation. Karin was never known for her poker face. However, Sakura didn't want to pressure her friend into talking if she didn't want to. With a heavy sigh, the pink-haired bunny let the topic go for now in favor of finishing her work.

Her action caused Karin to let out her own sigh as she slumped further into the chair. She knew that Sakura saw that he was lying but was happy that she let it go. Karin was lost in her own thoughts as she stared at her friend. Sakura had been right in her assumption.

Since the war, Karin had trouble focusing on a particular Uchiha feline. Every time she visited her crush and distant cousin, Karin could feel a heavy atmosphere. Sure she knew that Sasuke was her cousin's best friend and cared for him; hell, everyone did in one way or another. But how Sasuke did was closer to how she loved him. She and Sakura talked several times about the topic but never spoke about the possibility that Sasuke was out of their reach in more ways than one.

As Karin looked up at Sakura, she could feel her mouth dry up and a lump form in her chest. The intelligent, talented medical kunoichi became her greatest friends and allies. Since Karin was little, she never really had any female friends, so having Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, and Temari in her life added a quality she never knew she was missing. And, in times like these, maybe leaning on a fellow kunoichi is what she needed.

"Sakura?" she nervously called out, gaining her friend's attention. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course. You know you can always talk to me about anything, Karin." Sakura smiled as she put her pen down and gave her full attention.

Karin nervously swallowed the lump in her throat before she continued. "What do you think of Sasuke-kun and Naruto's relationship?"

The question caught the pink-haired teen off guard, but she quickly recomposed herself, "That's a bit of an odd question. What brought it on?"

Karin bit her lip so hard that she tasted blood in her mouth. Even though she tried to play cool, she miserably failed. "It's just that… when Sasuke-kun and Naruto went with us to revive the late four Hokages, I found out that he and Naruto had been mated all this time, and I never knew. I'm just having a hard time believing any of it."

Sakura sighed at this as she rubbed her temples, "I was afraid this day would come."

"So you knew about this too?! And you didn't tell me?! I thought we were friends?! So what, you purposely hid this information from me to make me look like a fool?!" Karin shouted as tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

"Karin, please calm down. I never meant for things to be this way. And I would never do that to you, so please let me explain!" Sakura shouted back as she waited for her friend to calm down. Once Karin seemed to be listening, Sakura cleared her throat and continued. "I… didn't know either. But, to be honest, I found out during the war too. Ever since we started at the Academy together, I have been in love with Sasuke-kun. He was the coolest, smartest, and most handsome guy in the Academy. I wanted to know everything about him, and I wanted him to know everything about me. Like most girls in our class, I wanted him to see me as an equal and someone he could mate with. We heard rumors that he liked smart, talented girls with long hair. So, I trained and studied as hard as I could while growing my hair out. I knew I had nothing special to offer him then, so I did my best to be everything he wanted so I could stand out among the other girls. Look how well that turned out." Sakura chuckled bitterly.

"What happened? If you were everything that he wanted in a mate, why didn't he choose you?" Karin asked.

"Because none of those things were what Sasuke-kun actually wanted. In fact, looking back on our childhood, I think that all he ever wanted was to be seen as himself. You already know that his older brother Itachi murdered his entire clan when he was young. After that, it was the talk of our village, besides the whispers about Naruto. I remember being a little girl and listening to the adults, and my parents pity him and his situation. Sasuke-kun used to get attention and praise from everyone in the village. He trained to be the best and did everything on his own. I remember being so love-struck that I thought him rude and a loner added to his cool image. I never knew he hated all the attention, pity, and affection. When we became teammates, I learned how lonely he actually was."

Sakura stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing, "Growing up, I had my parents. Unlike Sasuke-kun, I never had any siblings. But, I knew what it was like to be loved and supported by a mother and father. I knew he had his clansmen, but I never knew his relationship with any other. He never talked about his family while we were teammates or during our Academy days. There was so much that I never knew about Sasuke-kun or his clan. All I knew was that I loved him and that hopefully, he would love me back."

"Did you ever tell me how you felt?"

"I did. I told him twice before he left to go with Orochimaru and when he was in prison after Naruto brought him back. However, both times he rejected me. At first, I thought it was because he was either under Orochimaru's jutsu or because he was more focused on getting his revenge on his brother Itachi. Until recently, I thought that he would grow to love me once he got his revenge and learned that I loved him all this time. No matter what his crimes were, I would stick by his side and love him through his darkest moments. It took me a long time to realize that I was wrong in every aspect and that these were just worthless dreams of a love-struck teenage girl."

"Sakura… I'm so sorry to hear that." Karin softly said as she reached across the desk and held her hand.

"It's alright. I've been working on it and trying to cope." She smiled as she squeezed Karin's hand back. "Anyway, it wasn't until the second time I confessed my love for him that I realized he won't love me back. During his imprisonment, I was in charge of caring for him. I remember everyone calling me stupid for not getting over him. Everyone tried to pressure me to move on from him and find someone worthy of my love. I used to get so angry at them because, in my eyes, Sasuke-kun was the only man for me. So, one day while I visited him, I confessed my love for him again. I figured that enough time had passed, and maybe he would learn to accept me and my love. But, in the end, I had my heartbroken."

"What did he say?" Karin asked with worry laced in her voice.

"He basically told me to move on from him. He didn't want me to keep waiting on him when he was never going to love me back. He told me I was confused and only loved him from his looks. He said I knew nothing about his life that warranted my affection. He told me to give up on him. I tried to convince him that he was wrong and that I knew enough about him. I knew some of the crimes he committed and some of his past, so I thought that was enough for us to bond over. I also figured that my love would be enough to fill in the gaps. However, when he told me that he would never return my feelings… I felt my heartbreak in a thousand pieces. It's never easy when someone you've loved for the majority of your life basically told you that your dreams will remain as such."

"Wow. I can't believe that Sasuke-kun flat-out rejected you like that. You're definitely stronger than me. Finding out from other people my Sasuke-kun is mated was heartbreaking enough, but to actually be rejected to my face… I couldn't even imagine. So, how did you learn to get over it?"

"That's the funny thing. I'm not over it." Sakura chuckled darkly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm currently working on moving past this. However, it didn't change that my heart was broken. You and Hinata know better than anyone what it's like to be in love with someone only to find out that they'll never be yours."

"Wait, what does Hinata have to do with this? Don't tell me she was in love with Sasuke-kun too? Man, how many women did he have chasing after him before I came here." Karin groaned as she slammed her head onto the desk.

"Pretty much almost the entire village. Even some of the older girls who graduated in the class before ours had a crush on him. But Hinata was the odd one out. She was in love with Naruto, not Sasuke-kun."

"What?! No way! She was in love with Naruto?!" Karin gasped, causing Sakura to nod.

"Yep. That girl was head over heels in love with that knuckleheaded boy. But, I'm not going to lie, Ino and I weren't quite sure what was going through her head. Naruto wasn't much to look at. Sure he was a cute boy, but not handsome. He wasn't talented, intelligent, caused trouble for everyone, too bold for his own good, goofy, and everything in between. I hated him for a long time. In fact, everyone had. The adults hated him for being the Nine-Tails' Jinchūriki, but they never told us about that. In fact, Lord Third forbid anyone from talking about it in public. The kids in the Academy, especially the girls, hated him because he always picked fights with Sasuke-kun. I also found him annoying because he never knew how to behave and had this ridiculous crush on me. I knew Hinata liked him, so I tried to be rude and force them together. It didn't work, and I didn't care. My mission was Sasuke-kun's heart. Who knew it would backfire so much on my end."

"That's… kind of mean, Sakura."

"I know. Believe me, I'm not proud of the way I treated him all those years ago. I'm just glad that he forgave me, and we're best friends now. It's funny when you think about it. The boy who had a crush on me stole the boy I loved's heart. If that isn't the definition of irony, I don't know what is. But I guess I should have seen it coming if I paid more attention to them."

"Wait a second, you mean they were mated even back then?" Karin gasped.

"I'm not sure when the two of them mated, but I would be willing to bet my life it was during our Team Seven days. I didn't notice at first, but I saw that they grew closer after a while. They challenged each other and worked together. I watched as their powers and strength increased the more they were together. Sure they still bickered and fought, but I think that was just how they communicated. Hell, they still do it now. I won't lie; I also became jealous of everything they would spend time together outside our training and missions. I think, subconsciously, I saw Naruto as a rival. I thought I was being ridiculous, but every time I saw them together after Sasuke-kun refused to spend time with me was gut-wrenching. But, I wouldn't give up, even when Sasuke-kun rejected me the night he left to join Orochimaru."

"Wait, you saw Sasuke-kun before he left?"

Sakura nodded. "Yep. I couldn't sleep for some reason that night and went for a walk. That's when I found him walking towards the gate with a backpack. I tried to stop him before pleading to go with him. However, in the end, he just knocked me out and left. When I woke up, I ran to Naruto and begged him to go after Sasuke-kun. I wasn't strong enough to stop him, but I knew Naruto was. It killed me to know that my love confession and tears weren't enough to keep him in the village and that Naruto was the only one that could save him. But, when they returned, I immediately regretted my decision."

"How so? They obviously came back alive, even though Sasuke-kun didn't return with them."

"Everyone except for Shikamaru came back knocking on death's door." Karin gasped as Sakura sighed. "I… couldn't bear seeing my friends dancing between the world of the living and the world of the dead, especially knowing that I had sent them there. It was… too much to handle at the age of 13."

"But Sakura, that's ridiculous. Sure, you asked Naruto and the others to go after Sasuke-kun, but you didn't know that they would return in that condition. And, it's not like you threatened them if they didn't go. They chose to go. And, if they were mated back then, Naruto would have gone after Sasuke-kun even if you didn't ask him. In fact, if I knew my knuckleheaded cousin, he would have gone alone too."

Sakura chuckled. "Yeah, you're right about that. However, that's not how I saw it. I thought Naruto only did it for me. After all, he promised he would bring him back to me. Little did I know that he was making a promise for himself instead. I never made great decisions when it came to Sasuke-kun or Naruto. I was selfish and ungrateful for the time I spent with them. Even though I had my parents, I felt part of another family. Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei were our parents, while Naruto and Sasuke were almost like brothers. They protected me all the time because I wasn't strong enough. I always had to stand on the sidelines or behind them and watch them get further ahead of me. It sucked. I hated myself. I hated spending more time studying, training, and looking good for a guy who would never love me. I hated myself for neglecting and mistreating another guy who only cared for my well-being no matter how badly I treated him. And, I hated myself for putting Sasuke-kun before everything else, including myself. It was then, in the Forrest of Death during the Chunin Exams, that I cut my hair and decided to keep it short. My short hair signified my promise to get stronger and finally catch up to my comrades."

"But Sakura, you're now one of the strongest kunoichis in all the Five Nations. Honestly, I think you even surpassed Lady Tsunade. So how can you still think that you're weak?"

"Because I'm still selfish. I only promised to get stronger so I wouldn't burden my teammates, especially Sasuke-kun. I thought that if I was stronger, then Naruto wouldn't have to worry about protecting me all the time, and Sasuke-kun would finally think of me as a worthy mate."

"I respect that. No one ever wants to feel like a burden or an unworthy mate. However, the way I see it, it shouldn't matter why you became stronger. After all, you put the work in yourself. You should be proud of your progress, especially since you're a part of the newest generation of Sanin. I know that you may be disappointed that the reason you trained didn't work in your favor, but you still should take pride in your skills and growth. You're definitely doing better than me." Karin said but mumbled the last part.

This caused Sakura to smack her head and sigh. "Karin, I am so sorry. You came for advice about getting over Sasuke-kun, not listening to me go over my past and regrets. I'm sorry, hun."

Karin squeezed her friend's hand and smiled as she shook her head. "No. I think you needed to talk about it too. Besides, I enjoyed learning more about Team Seven. It… makes me feel closer to you guys. Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"Any time. So, what do you plan on doing about your feelings for Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, causing Karin to shrug.

"I don't know yet. But, I know that there is nothing I can do. I mean, once two people are mated, that's usually it, especially for Naruto and Sasuke. Besides, just like he told you, it would be foolish to wait for someone who will never love me back. It just sucks that you have to watch the man you love to be with someone else."

"Don't I know it. Love is a difficult emotion to get over, but a powerful lesson."

"Agreed. I think I'm going to take some time to think things through. I've loved Sasuke-kun for so long. It's going to be hard getting over him so soon. I won't avoid him, but I need to take time to figure my life out. Where to go from here and whatnot." Karin sighed as she looked down, the painful feeling of her heart shattering, and a cold wind filled her chest as she stood up. "I think I'm going to see what the other Taka members are thinking before making my decision."

Sakura nodded her head as she finished signing the last of the patients' charts. "Well, whatever you decide, I hope you stay within the village or at least nearby. I don't want to lose a new girlfriend and great assistant." Sakura winked as she handed the pile over.

A light trace of blush graced the red-haired fox's cheeks as she turned and walked towards the door. But, just before she crossed the threshold, Karin threw a look over her shoulder and smiled. "You know Sakura, I've seen a picture of you with long hair… I think it suits you better." And with that, she walked out of the office with both her and Sakura smiling brightly.

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After Karin dropped off the patients' charts and commanded the nurses to discharge them, she returned to the apartment she shared with Suigetsu and Jugo and stripped out of her black scrubs. Next, she showered, washed her hair, cleaned her glasses, and brushed her teeth. Once she was done and dressed in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts with her hair pulled up in a bun, Karin noticed that her roommates hadn't returned, so she decided to cook dinner.

It was around six o'clock when the two boys entered the apartment. Both toed off their sandals before entering their home. Jugo sighed as he watched Suigetsu throw his tired body onto their couch.

"Gods above, I'm tired as fuck." He groaned into the cushions.

"I would have to agree. Today was an exhausting day." Jugo said as he walked past the couch.

"Welcome back, you two. Rough day?" Karin smirked as she leaned against the kitchen threshold.

"Don't start with me, Karin. I'm not in the mood." Suigestsu growled as he sat up on his elbows.

"Don't worry. I'm not in a great mood either. Dinner is on the stove whenever you guys are ready." She sighed before turning around and going back into the kitchen.

Her attitude caused Suigetsu and Jugo to look at each other in confusion. Then, both boys practically rushed into the kitchen to see the beta fox female sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in her hands.

"What's got you so down?" Suigetsu asked as they sat down.

"Nothing…" she sighed as she adjusted her glasses.

"You sure? You don't… seem like yourself…." He pressed.

"I'm fine. Just drop it, ok?" She glared.

"Is it Sasuke?" Jugo finally spoke, causing Karin to tighten her grip on her cup without saying anything.

"Are you still upset about finding out Sasuke and Naruto were mated? Listen, Karin, if it makes you feel any better~."

"It won't, so don't any anything." She glared harder.

"I was just going to say I was sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"For making fun of you. I know you, and I bicker and tease each other all the time. But I think I went too far that time. We all know that you love Sasuke, and personally, I think it's shitty of him not to tell you. However, we all know Sasuke is a secretive guy and probably had his reasons."

"This is what you consider an apology? Thanks, but no thanks." She sighed as she drank her tea.

"I think what Suigestsu was trying to say is that we understand that you're hurt. Neither he nor I know what it is like to be in love with someone, let alone the pain of losing them that way. But one thing we can say is that we understand." Jugo said.

"Yeah, what the big guy said. We know it can't be easy on ya. Hell, personally, I'd rather be stabbed in the face. But, if you need anything, we've got your back." The shark man smiled, causing Karin to blush.

For a few moments, they quietly sat while Karin continued t sip her tea. She didn't move or say anything as her former teammates got up and did their nightly routine. Both boys showered, brushed their teeth, washed their hair, and got dressed in their pajamas before coming back to eat dinner. Finally, after the three of them sat at the kitchen table and ate dinner, Karin spoke.

"What do you guys plan to do now that the war is over?"

"Hn. I still plan to collect those swords and travel to the Five Nations. But, outside of that, I have no other plans."

"I plan on remaining in the village with Sasuke." Jugo calmly answered.

"You don't want to travel with Suigestsu or try and find your own purpose in life?' Karin asked.

"I have no aspirations of my own. So I decided to dedicate my life to Sasuke in any way he needed me. That is all I want out of life."

"No offense, big guy, but Sasuke is back home with his mate. I'm not sure his alpha will be ok with another alpha male hanging around his omega too much. And besides, who said that Sasuke needs you like that anymore. Have you maybe considered that he might want you to find your own purpose in life?"

"I… never thought of doing anything else…."

"Maybe you can talk with Sasuke-kun and get his advice," Karin suggested as she got up to clean her cup.

"Perhaps. What about you, Karin?"

"Yeah, crazy. What do you plan on doing now, especially since you can't be with Sasuke anymore?" Suigetsu asked, causing Karin to stop in her tracks.

"I…don't know either… I had always had this plan for Sasuke-kun and me to live happily ever after. I never thought I'd find myself in his home village and learning to get over him. I guess I have some thinking to do…."

"Are you going to stay within the village? I mean, you got a pretty good setup here working for that pink-haired bunny and the tyrant Skug Queen. Plus, you finally have some girlfriends to hang out with. They seem to like you and want you to stay. And, I think you might want to also. Outside of gushing over Sasuke, I've never seen you have this much fun or be happier. So, maybe, this is where you belong, eh?"

Karin thought Suigetsu's words over in her head as she washed her cup. Once she felt it was clean enough, Karin dried it and put it away in the cabinet.

"I'm not quite sure what I want to do yet." Karin sighed while gripping the countertop. "But I know that I need to figure some things out."

"I know it will. I don't say this often, but you're pretty smart. You always figure things out. This is no different. Just put the parts of yourself that Sasuke isn't occupied and think about it. Either way, whatever you decide, you're supported." Suigetsu added without looking at her.

His words put a small smile on her face as she turned to head to bed. But, before she left, Karin gave a soft "Thank you." Both boys heard it, but neither said anything back. Instead, they just watched their teammate go to the kitchen as the air around them became lighter.

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Author's Notes:

This is centered around Sakura, Karin, and the rest of Team Taka (minus Sasuke). I like writing chapters where the girls and their insecurities are the centers. Like most people, I didn't like how the creator wrote our heroines, so diving into their insecurities, regrets, and emotions makes them human and more relatable. So what do you guys think? Who is your favorite female character, and why?

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To Be Continued…