Kagome struggles to understand what she's feeling. Layers of emotions, one stacked over the other, war for her attention. There is anger, sadness, confusion, even a slight hint of fear— not of Sesshomaru, but of the unknown, which seems to be a deeper chasm than she thought.
Finally, after several moments of tense silence, she asks, "Could you always talk or is this a new thing?"
"I have rarely found a reason to communicate with those who dwell on land."
"So earlier, when Totosai was yelling at you….?"
Sesshomaru scowls. "That man meddles in affairs that do not require his involvement."
Kagome folds her arms across her chest. "That's not an answer."
"He does not approve of my choices, primarily the ones regarding you."
"Because you're a siren?" Kagome surmises.
His lips twitch. "Among other things."
The cryptic responses are getting annoying. First, Totosai leaves with a vague warning and now Sesshomaru won't give her a straight answer. After the hours she has sacrificed to help him, Kagome feels betrayed. She's fallen behind on her studies Between her coursework and the extra shifts Kagome signed up for, she's barely getting any sleep. Any chance of pursuing a double major has long since passed.
"Do you even want to get out of here?"
He blinks. She can't tell what stuns him more— her tone or her question. It might be a little of both.
When he doesn't answer, anger shifts to the surface. "I thought you were stuck here against your will! I kept your secret. I cooked for you. I did what I could to protect you. I've been trying to get you out of here! And all this time…you've what? Been messing with me?"
His brow furrows. "I do not understand. I have not created a single mess."
Kagome groans and stomps her foot. "It means you've been manipulating me!"
"I do not manipulate," he snarls.
"No? Then what do you call this?" she snaps, gesturing between them.
Sesshomaru stares at her. He doesn't argue but he doesn't try to defend himself either. He stays silent.
Frustrated, Kagome sighs and drops her arms. "Fine." She isn't going to wait around for him to decide what he wants.
There is a mountain of homework waiting for her at home. If Kagome is being honest with herself, she should have started on her Economics report last week. Plus, she has about a week's worth of reading to catch up on. She can't put it off any longer. Especially now that there isn't a reason to.
As she moves to leave, Kagome's gaze falls to the gills on Sesshomaru's torso. The magenta color has turned a violent crimson. She notices the way his chest heaves in short, sporadic pulses.
"Oh no, you don't." Kagome charges forward, using all her weight to shove Sesshomaru into the tank.
She catches him by surprise. His eyes go wide before he rolls over and into the water. The splash resonates against the cold cement walls, then the room goes silent.
Fury burns in her eyes. Kagome refuses to feel bad about her actions. Sesshomaru is the one to blame. He's the one who's been lying to her. He's the one who made her worry, who made her care. She thought he was alone, caught unaware and defenseless in the human world. Turns out, he was just biding his time until…
…what exactly? What's he been waiting for?
"Sesshomaru?"
Kagome waits, hoping he'll resurface, yet she hears no change in the water's rhythmic lapping against the sides of the tank. She scans the tank. There is no sign of alabaster scales or a shifting shadow beneath the surface.
She holds her breath as she leans over the edge. Panic bubbles up in her chest. Her knuckles turn white from how hard she grips the edge. "You're not allowed to die on me, you jerk!"
He rises out of the water. Kagome jolts. Initially, she is surprised, then her faces heats. He surfaces directly beneath her, leaving about a centimeter between their noses.
His webbed hand comes up to cup her cheek. "Kagome."
She means to tell him that she's still mad. She starts to point out that pretending to be hurt so someone brings you bento boxes is considered manipulation. She even considers telling him that playing with her feelings— however misplaced they may be —is cruel. Kagome begins to say all of this.
Until he tilts his face up.
The first brush of his lips against hers is cold. Kagome makes a small, startled sound. Sesshomaru's hand presses against her cheek. He guides her forward. When their lips meet again, she is consumed by heat.
Kagome closes her eyes, sinking into the sensation. It reminds her of floating in a hot spring. Her body is light. The tension in her muscles unravels and everything troubling her slips away. She doesn't think. She only reacts.
There's freedom in the unabashed way Kagome leans into Sesshomaru. Her fingers tangle in the long strands of his silver hair, seeking purchase. It's a desperate sort of clinging, similar to the way a child hugs their favorite toy during a thunderstorm. The vulnerability should scare her— perhaps even more than the siren she's holding onto —yet Kagome isn't afraid.
She doesn't allow herself to consider the consequences. They exist in a place all their own. There are no barriers or reservations. There is no judgment. Everything that happened earlier doesn't matter because here, in this moment, it is just them.
There's a hand on her thigh and another one winding its way around to the base of her skull. Nails scrape along her neck. It's a whisper of a touch, tantalizing in the way it ignites a pulse of heat in her core. She breaks away with a gasp.
Sesshomaru stares at her. His golden eyes are dilated. It's the closest he's been to appearing human. Kagome finds it a bit unnerving.
His hand returns to her cheek. "I gain nothing by hurting you."
She waits to respond until the hammering of her heart quiets. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I grew fond of your visits. You are much more enjoyable company than Totosai."
Kagome restrains herself from smiling. "Is the story about your arm true?"
Sesshomaru nods.
"And you've been here ever since?"
"Yes," he confirms.
"But you can't leave?" Kagome asks. His face darkens. She's hit a nerve. "Sesshomaru?"
"Totosai would prefer if I returned to the sea."
She removes his hand from her face. "I thought you were going to be honest with me."
"Kagome."
It's hard to stay mad when he says her name that way— like he's afraid of disappointing her— like he's afraid of losing her. "Tell me."
"There is a way," Sesshomaru begins. Kagome smiles encouragingly. "However, I am not interested in pursuing that option."
Her smile dissolves into indignation. "Why not?"
"I prefer to remain here."
"Here? In this tank?" She scoffs. "It's a glorified prison."
"Do you know what awaits me in the sea?" he inquires. Kagome shakes her head. "An endless abyss. I have crossed the oceans in search of a purpose. My father told me that I would know when I found one. I raided shipwrecks, discovered new fishing grounds, and battled creatures twice my size. Nothing I did changed how I felt. I was adrift in the darkness with no end in sight."
He pauses, running a hand over his left bicep. "When I lost my arm, I considered it a blessing. I permitted Totosai to bring me here. He made me aware of the risks. I did not care. I have no intention of returning to that life. Nothing is waiting for me out there."
"What about your family?"
Sesshomaru frowns. "My family does not share the same values that yours does, my mother in particular."
"Don't you miss them?"
"No."
Kagome stares, dumbfounded. She didn't expect him to be so callous. Considering how lonely he seemed when she arrived, Kagome thought he'd be eager to return home.
"You are upset," Sesshomaru surmises.
"It's just…when I offered to get you out of here, you seemed happy."
"I enjoy being with you."
Her cheeks color. "Oh."
"Totosai has kept me apprised of this facility's security protocols. I knew it would not be possible for you to overcome them."
"What?" Kagome shrieks. "So you just let me believe I could?"
"I did not wish for you to waste your time on useless pursuits as I have. You were not happy with the path you had chosen. Here, however, you were free to chase your passion. You glowed."
She sighs, dropping her head into her hands. How can she be angry when he says something as genuine as that ?
He places his hand on her knee. "Kagome." She glances up, meeting his eyes. "Totosai was correct. I am a selfish creature. I wanted more time with you and I was willing to do what I could to convince you to stay."
Warmth floods through her. Kagome doesn't feel consumed by it the way she did earlier. This sensation is softer, gentler. Fear skirts along the edge. It reminds her of the ticking clock. She may not know the exact date but Kagome understands they are on borrowed time.
"I don't want anyone to find you. If they find you, they'll take you away. They won't put you back in the ocean. They'll lock you up in a lab or someplace worse!" she cries. "How can you expect me to let that happen to you?"
He purses his lips.
Kagome grabs his hand. "Sesshomaru, if there is a way to keep you safe, you need to tell me. Please. "
"There is a way."
Kagome sees the tension in his shoulders. "Will it hurt you?"
"No."
"Will it hurt someone else?"
Sesshomaru closes his eyes and exhales. He extracts himself from her. " I suppose we will find out. Turn around."
"What?"
He stares at her expectantly.
"Fine," Kagome says, straightening up. She follows his instructions and gives him her back.
Water churns behind her. Kagome listens, trying to picture what he's doing. At first, it sounds like Sesshomaru is swimming in circles. The strokes start out as deliberate actions but they fall out of rhythm. The erratic thrashing worries her. She starts to pivot.
"No."
She flinches and resumes her wait.
The splashing slowly calms. Kagome becomes aware of a new noise. Above the swish of water, she picks up on labored breathing— the kind made with lungs, not gills.
Something hits the side of the tank wall. Kagome fights the impulse to turn around. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When Kagome was little, and Souta got on her nerves, Mama taught her to count numbers in her head. Mama said to focus on breathing, alternating between inhales and exhales until she felt better. She's practiced the technique several times since— for exams, right before she opened her acceptance letter, and now.
Kagome loses herself in the counting. She doesn't hear bare feet slapping against the cement floor. With her eyes closed, Kagome doesn't notice the shadow fall over her. She's completely unaware of his approach until a pair of arms encircle her waist.
She yelps, jumping at the sensation. "What the— Sesshomaru ?" Her eyes go wide. "You're…how are you…why are you naked?"
Kagome squeezes her eyes shut, shoving against his chest as hard as she can.
"Do the fish in the other tanks wear garments like yours?"
"You're not a fish!" she argues, keeping her eyes firmly closed.
"No, I am not," he returns with a chuckle.
"I'm going to toss you into the tank," she says resolutely.
"Again? Why?"
"So you turn back."
"The elements have no power over my kind. Sirens can control their shifting by force of will," Sesshomaru explains.
Forgetting herself, Kagome glances up at him. "Really?"
"Once my kind matures, they are capable of shifting between their true form and a humanoid one."
She studies his face, realizing that the gills are gone. Kagome reaches up and brushes back his wet hair. Sesshomaru's ears no longer extend into elvish points. They are smaller and rounded like hers. Her gaze drops to his torso. The skin is smooth. There are no slits along the sides for breathing. Defined muscles glisten with droplets of water. One drop slithers down his hips toward—
Kagome blushes and looks away.
"Do you prefer my fins to these appendages?" Sesshomaru inquires, a hint of mirth in his tone.
"I'd prefer if you'd put on some clothes!"
She goes over to Totosai's desk. The top is covered with folders and forgotten paperwork but the drawers contain different assets. Energy bars, instant coffee, clean dishes, and even a first aid kit are tucked away. In the bottom drawer is a spare change of clothes.
Kagome always assumed they were for Totosai, in case he stayed overnight at the aquarium conducting research. As she unfolds them, she notes the size. They are much too large for Totosai's frame. Her breath catches. He left them for Sesshomaru.
She glances over her shoulder at the naked man standing at the edge of the tank. Sesshomaru may not believe it, but Totosai does care about him. He's kept the desk stocked with food, clothes, and medicine. He has acted as Sesshomaru's guardian for years, protecting him until he was able to shift.
Totosai risked his career and his standing in the community to keep Sesshomaru a secret. His decision to help the siren is no small undertaking. It's the type of sacrifice a family member takes or a trusted family friend.
Kagome gasps. Suddenly, everything falls into place— Sesshomaru's comment about his father, Totosai's story, and the woman who visited their house.
Sesshomaru approaches her. "What is it?"
"Your mother."
He clenches his jaw. "What of her?"
"I think I met her."