Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
A Longitudinal Study
A longitudinal study is a research methodology that examines and correlates specific variables over an extended period of time. Depending on the hypothesis, a longitudinal study can span weeks, months, or even years.
For those curious, I didn't wash the dishes. I never made it back to Shibi's house for dinner. Instead, I wandered the village with no destination in mind; trying to make some sense of this continually evolving and confusing situation I found myself in. As if they could sense the turbulent and slightly volatile thoughts infecting my mood, the villagers of Konoha gave me a wide berth as they passed me in the streets.
Did Shibi even want me? Or had I been pulled into this mess because of Shino? During my aimless trek through Konoha, I encountered only a few ninjas. Or rather, I only encounter a few that I was aware of. Most were chunin and were most likely patrolling the streets to prevent petty crime. Keeping the peace had become a chunin grunt task ever since the Uchiha had fallen and Konoha no longer had a police force. Pity the patrols never extended to my neighborhood. I could feel a few of them eyeing me with their peripherals. It felt like they were aware that I was ditching school. But none of them called me out about it.
As I lazily climbed up the Hokage monument, I asked the question I had been avoiding since this whole ordeal had started. Why hadn't Anzu put up more of a fight? It was a question I didn't want to ponder because I knew the answer. Staring at a panoramic view of the village from the fourth Hokage's head, the sun's position in the sky caught my attention. It was lower than I expected. Meaning I must have been walking longer than I had perceived. Funny; considering that it felt like Shibi had only left me moments ago. The academy had probably already been let out for the day.
Those three questions were the ones that kept circulating in my head as I studied Konoha from a bird's eye view. There were other questions, but those three were the ones that I was unable to brush off. A bit maddening too because none of those questions informed me about what I should do with Shibi's olive branch. And that is what it was. I wasn't happy about joining the ranks of Aburame. I wasn't happy with becoming a shinobi and serving the village. Shibi was unwilling to release me from one of those conditions, but he was giving me an out for the other. As if he was trying to say that while I would be affiliated with the Aburame clan for the rest of my life, I could at least give up one of my burdens.
Since there was no one to hear me, I sighed loudly and ran a hand over my tired face; pulling the skin around my eyes in the process. At least Shibi had given me control of the situation. Control felt nice. It was something I didn't get to experience often but was something I was always grappling for. Even if being allowed this decision felt more like a consolation prize than anything else.
I stayed on top of the Hokage monument long after the scenic view of Konoha became boring. It was dark by the time I started the descent to rejoin the rest of the world. Still lost in the whirlpool all my thinking had created, I was only vaguely surprised Shibi hadn't hunted me down yet. Dinner must have been over by this point. Back on level ground, I thought about going to see Anzu. She would know what to do. And since Shibi wasn't breathing down my neck, this was the perfect time to pay my sister a visit. However; despite thinking that, I couldn't get my feet to move. Anzu would know what to do. She'd tell me that I should do it. Go to that fancy civilian school, leave her behind, trample all over those privileged brats, and grow up to be a happy privileged brat myself. Although… probably not in those words exactly.
My feet started moving on their own accord; weaving me around and through the nighttime crowd of commuting villagers. Except, I didn't walk the familiar path to the red district. Taking a much shorter one, I ended up at the academy. Interestingly, the doors were unlocked. So much for shinobi taking security seriously.
Being unoriginal, I ended up in Iruka-Sensei's classroom. It looked the same as it always did. Even in the dark. Even when it was empty. In the silent refuge of a familiar place, I turned to one consistency in my life. The one thing I could depend on to never change; across circumstances, across identities, across realities. Math. Because no matter who I was or where I was, the value of two or three or four or any number didn't change.
Picking up a piece of chalk Iruka-Sensei had left, I got to work. On the far upper left corner of the blackboard, I wrote, 'age of majority. When Shibi had said it, it had felt like a hint. Maybe one he didn't mean to give me. Or maybe he had. It was hard to tell with personalities like Shibi's.
Age is a term associated with a numerical value expressed through units of time. But it was also subjective to how its value was operationally defined. For example, civilians in the land of fire were considered to be adults when they reached the age of eighteen. But only in a legal sense. Most had to be functioning as an adult by the time they were sixteen; working, contributing to their families, and actually knowing what they wanted to do with their lives. In the shinobi walk of life, you were viewed as an adult the minute you received your headband. It was only fair. They couldn't expect you to kill and die in service to your village without acknowledging that you were capable of taking care of yourself. Of course, it was also necessary. With all shinobi being seen as adults, all shinobi could be held accountable for their actions. Or so was the line of logic. Without a doubt, there would be exceptions to that rule.
Under what I had written, I added my definitions for civilian adulthood and shinobi adulthood. Now, I was ready to add numbers into the mix. Take the civilian path and I would have to be eighteen before I could live my own life. That would mean spending eight years living under Shibi's roof. Longer when I calculated the odds of me being able to find employment right after graduation. That leads to some new questions. With a clan name now attached to my own, would I still be treated like an untouchable? Even with an education, would someone outside of the red district be willing to hire me? How much would I have to rely on the Aburame name in order to succeed? All of that got added to my calculations.
The earliest I could achieve the rank of genin was by the age of twelve. Pre-Uchiha massacre there was a chance I could have excelled and gotten pushed through the academy faster. But after an early graduate had gone on a killing spree, an age requirement in becoming a shinobi was put into place. Besides, I've purposely faded into the background since my third year; always scoring in the average range. And after I had been found out, I had retaliated by failing everything. Even though Iruka-Sensei knew my marks didn't represent what I knew, they wouldn't go away. So, even if early graduation was possible, I wouldn't have the grades to cross the finish line early. That meant two years. Two years of living with Shibi and Shino. Two years before I could make a living. Stay on the path I'm currently on, I wouldn't have to worry about being employable after graduation. As a ninja, a job was promised. But there wouldn't be any options. Not as a genin. I'd have to go where I was told and do as I was ordered. As an unofficial clan kid, was it still likely that I would be assigned to the genin corps? Or were expectations now higher? Of course, there were also issues with the timeline. Being Shibi's bastard and Shino's half-sister; did that mean I was destined to get pulled into all the canonical nonsense if I stayed on this path? Because I really didn't want to be a part of Naruto's story. But, just as I had done from the beginning, I didn't add any of that into my calculations.
I worked my way from the left side of the chalkboard to the right. Not a single inch was spared by the chalk. I showed my work. I graphed what I could. I pulled formulas out of my head that I hadn't thought about in years. My calculations were imperfect. There were many pieces of information that I didn't have. And there were some variables I couldn't assign a numerical value to. But I tried my best. And in the end, my limitations didn't matter.
With my right hand covered in chalk dust, the piece of chalk now resembling a nub rather than a stick, I stepped away from the chalkboard. It looked like a mad scientist had unleashed the contents of her brain on it. Moving to sit in my assigned seat, not bothered by how late it had gotten; I studied my work. The answer was clear. As I had expected it to be ever since leaving that tea house. The part I was stuck on was convincing myself to accept it.
Groaning, I laid down on the bench behind the long desk and covered my eyes with my arm. This way I did have to look at my calculations any longer. I don't want to do this. It was a truth that I repeated in my head over and over again. No matter how much I thought it, it changed nothing. Ironic really. Shibi had given me a choice. But even then, I had no choice at all.
"Aburame", a voice called; pulling at my consciousness. I mumbled something incoherent and refused to open my eyes. "Get up", the voice continued; sounding completely annoyed by my existence. You and me both, buddy. When I still hadn't made any movement, the voice became louder. "Aburame".
"Don't call me that", I complained; opening my eyes when it became apparent that falling back asleep wouldn't be allowed. A few things stood out the moment I began processing visual stimuli. For one, this wasn't Shibi's house or Anzu's apartment. And two, Sasuke Uchiha was looming over me and scowling like I had done something personally offensive to him.
Aware that he had my attention, Sasuke only had four words. "You're in my way". If I still had my notebook, I would have made note of the occasion. Was this the first time Sasuke had ever spoken directly to me? I think it might be…
Sighing, I pulled myself into an upright position; causing my back to face the Uchiha survivor. With blurry eyes, I looked around the classroom; taking in the difference between the academy after hours and the academy in the early daylight. Guess I spent the night here. Rubbing my back as I adjust to seat forward, my eyes roamed over all my work from the night prior. It was still on the blackboard for all the world to see. Right, I thought; yawning obnoxiously. I had made a decision. Damn it.
On my right, Sasuke had taken his seat next to me. His fingers were laced together and his hands were covering his mouth. It seemed that because I was now out of his way, Sasuke was happy to pretend that I wasn't there. Another glance around the classroom revealed that we were the only ones here. "Are you always the first one to arrive?" I asked the boy who probably wished I hadn't said anything. Resting my elbow on the desktop, I used my fist to prop up my head.
…nothing. Not even an indication that he had heard me. Acting like Sasuke's silence gave me permission, I kept talking. "Because it's a bit sad. You should really get a hobby". And…. Nothing. Huh. How much could I get away with saying before Sasuke was provoked into responding?
Before I could test that hypothesis, Iruka-Sensei entered. "Good morning, Sasuke", Iruka-Sensei greeted pleasantly; sounding not at all surprised that he was here. "And… Rion?" Iruka-Sensei paused mid-step. I never elected to stay at the academy longer than I had to, so his shock wasn't misplaced.
"Sensei", I acknowledged; keeping my voice lazy. "I used up all of your chalk".
As there were only so many ways a person can use chalk in a classroom, Iruka-Sensei turned his head in the direction of the blackboard. "I can see that". Iruka-Sensei sounded apprehensive as studied the mess of words, numbers, and symbols I had left on the blackboard. I wonder how much sense he could make out of it.
By the time our classmates had started to file in, Iruka-Sensei had erased last night's endeavors. Though that didn't stop him from sending me suspicious looks when he thought I wouldn't notice. The volume in the classroom slowly increased as more and more people sat at their desks; chatting with neighbors. Other than a nod from Chouji and Shikamaru as they walked past on the way to their seats, I was ignored. That is until Shino entered. He made a beeline for where I was sitting. Completely ignoring my seatmate, Shino announced without preamble, "Father has decided you are grounded. Why? Because you failed to come home last night".
"Oh, no! Not grounded. Anything but that". The only emotion in my voice was sarcastic levity. Something that was not lost on Shino. Evident by the frown he directed at me; taking the extra step to make sure that his mouth was over his collar so I could see it.
In our usual song and dance, a moment was killed with just Shino and I staring at each other. Shino adjusted his glasses before sharing, "I am displeased". What he was displeased about was still unclear. I mean, he had a lot to work with. Maybe he was upset that I had punched him. It was the morning after and it didn't look like Shino was sporting a bruise. So hopefully, he wasn't crying over that. Maybe he was upset that I wasn't taking Shibi seriously. Or maybe it was just because I wasn't living up to his expectations. But it didn't matter. I wasn't going to let any of those reasons be my problem.
Having said his piece… or at least by his terms, Shino moved away. But throughout the morning's instruction, I could feel eyes boring into the back of my head. I never turned around to see who it was; knowing in my gut that the culprit would be brother dearest.
Having made my choice, I had two years to set myself up. Two years to figure out how I was going to avoid what I could and make the most of this stupid situation that is my life. That meant making a lot of changes. Starting with my attitude towards class and school work in general. Luckily that was also the easiest to fix. The difficulty was reimagining how I would operate under my new goal. Because, with the decision I had made last night, I would have to throw out all my old rules. At least, for the time being….
Rule Number 1: Keep Your Head Down
"I'm glad you were able to meet with me for the end-of-the-year parent-teacher conferences, Aburame-san", Iruka-sensei politely as he sat across from Shibi, Shino, and myself. We were in some sort of conference room that I didn't know the academy had. There was a table between us; allowing Iruka-sensei to set down the two thick folders he had brought in with him. It didn't escape my notice that one was fatter than the other. Two guesses whose folder that one belonged to.
"There is no need to thank me", Shibi responded; sitting still and stiffly between Shino and me. "Why? Because it is my duty as their father".
"Uh", Iruka-Sensei stammered as he scratched the scar on his nose. "Right". I'm not sure how long Iruka-Sensei had been Shino's teacher, but it seemed he was still unused to communicating with Shibi. That was something Iruka-Sensei and I had in common. Clearing his throat, Iruka-sensei opened the first folder. The thinner one. "Well, Shino had a good year. He maintained his class ranking as the second-highest performing student". Iruka-Sensei paused in his review of Shino's successes to place an end-of-the-year report card in front of Shibi. Shibi glanced over it without touching it. "There was also a marked improvement in Shino's leadership skills this year". Iruka-sensei's eyes flashed in my direction. "He has deescalated quite a few conflicts between his peers and has found ways to… redirect their energies to more appropriate uses". My lips twitched upward at his wording. Heh, redirect. What a kind way to say that Shino was good at dragging me away before I could pummel Ami and her cronies. "Take the camping trip, for example", Iruka-Sensei refocused on Shibi. "To assess the students' survival skills, they were assigned into teams of three or four and had to work together to find shelter and food for the night. Shino not only led his own team through the assessment but stepped up to guide Rion's team as well".
Embarrassed by the positive praise from his teacher, Shino adjust his glasses. I'm not sure when I started to be able to interpret Shino's emotions from how he moved his glasses, but… I could. A true sign that I had spent way too much time with the boy. Iruka-Sensei kindly left out the reason why my team needed help. But the conference was still young. He may just be biding his time.
"I am pleased", Shibi stated simply. Though, as I have learned from my time living with the man, that was high praise from the Aburame clan head.
"There is room for improvement, of course", Iruka-Sensei continued. "Next year, I would like to see Shino work on building relationships with his peers. While he is able to lead and support them during group assignments, his peers do not know him well enough to do the same".
Shino bowed slightly in his seat. "Thank you for the feedback". Whether he accepted the feedback was unknown.
Nodding his head, Iruka-Sensei moved on; having no qualms with the stoic boy. Closing Shino's file, he moved on to mine. "Rion", Iruka-sensei started out strong when he said my name. But then he paused and sighed deeply. Like he was trying to work out how he wanted to do this. I didn't bother trying to hide my accomplished closed-lip smile. "… We know Rion had a difficult year".
"You can say that again", I muttered under my breath. Shibi adjusted his glasses in a warning for me to mind my manners.
It wasn't just my report card that Iruka-Sensei set in front of Shibi, but also a detailed log of all my graded classwork and homework. "Since there was…. a lot of ups and downs this year, I don't believe Rion's final grades are reflective of her accomplishments". I suppose it was a nice allowance Iruka-Sensei was giving me. Kind of made me feel bad for all the gray hairs I gave him this year. "As you can see, Rion was a solid average student until she became a member of your family". With his index finger, Iruka-Sensei pointed to where there was a steep change in marks; going from a range to 70%-80% score to zeros. Except for one written assignment where I had spelled my name correctly and Iruka-Sensei had given me one point just to get under my skin. "After she…" Iruka-Sensei paused again. "… adapted to the changes, the growth she experienced was substantial".
While most teachers would sound proud of a student who turned their whole year around, Iruka-Sensei sounded annoyed. A fact that only made my smile widen. After the cluster of zeroes, I never got a mark that was under 85%. Anything to do with academics, written work, or logic had full-credit scores. There was more variety in my scores for physical assessments. Like sparring, ninjutsu, genjutsu, and weapon handling. Just because I had been holding back doesn't mean I was perfect. But the part that annoyed Iruka-Sensei was the further proof of just how much I had been withholding. Even though it shouldn't have been surprising.
Iruka-Sensei didn't even bother to bring up my class ranking. With the fluctuations in my marks, I had ended the year somewhere in the middle, but it wasn't worth mentioning. "This year Rion has managed to build and maintain friendships with two of her classmates. Which is not something she had accomplished during her previous years as a student". This time, Iruka-Sensei did sound proud. Enough so that my smile weakened.
I had thought that I would have to grovel and explain myself to regain acceptance with Shikamaru and Chouji. But the day after I had punched Shino, Chouji had another boxed lunch for me and they let me back into their circle without any hoops for me to jump through. I didn't have to explain anything. Not even when I mysteriously started applying myself once more. Kind of made me wonder if I had ever left their circle.
"However," Iruka-Sensei geared up to drop the other shoe. Of course, there was a however. "While Rion is engaging with her peers and participating in class in ways she never has before, most of her interactions have been antagonistic by nature". Shibi adjusted his glasses. Uh-oh. Looks like Shibi was displeased. "Rion's actions speak poorly of her ability to work with others as a team".
Shibi bowed in his chair as Shino had done only moments before. "I apologize on behalf of my daughter". He had done the same when Ami's mother had hunted him down to chew off his ear after I had ripped chunks of Ami's hair off her scalp in an unsanctioned fight.
"Ah, no", Iruka-Sensei interjected with an awkward wave of his hand. I blinked and suddenly, Iruka-Sensei was bowing as well. "I'm the one who should be sorry. As Rion's teacher, I failed to supervise her properly".
"So…", I started out slowly; crossing my arms over my chest. "If both of you are apologizing for the things I did, does that mean I'm guilt-free?"
In response, Shibi reached behind me, placed his hand on the back of my head, and pushed until I was in the same position as him. "Rion apologizes as well", he told Iruka-Sensei. Heh, as if anyone believed him.
Rule Number 2: Don't Stand Out
The second to last year at the academy came with a couple of developments. One was an improvement in my endurance and overall physical strength. Now as a clan kid, training didn't get set aside when summer break started. As such, I learned that Shibi was secretly a beast and by the end of summer I could run faster and punch harder than I ever could before. Another one was a growth spurt. I was officially in that gawky pre-teen phase and Shibi had to buy me new pants with longer hems. I think the same happened to Shino. But with his coat, no one could tell.
However, the worst development was my newly acquired need to wear bras. It was a difficult time for everyone in Shibi's household. Not that I needed it, but Shibi actually gave me permission to visit Anzu so she could take me bra shopping and explain puberty to me.
With these… developments, I had to make a lot of adjustments. To my balance. To my aim… To my posture. But I managed. Couldn't ruin my two-year timeline after all.
Jumping out of range as Kiba tried to sweep my legs, I hopped on my feet until I could redirect my momentum for a forward attack. Kiba saw me coming, but my fist was only inches away from his face before he managed to block me. He aimed a blow for my side. But I was able to block it by raising a leg. From there, the only choice we had was to spring away from each other and regroup. Which we did. From the sidelines, Akamaru barked to cheer on his human partner as the class watched and Iruka-Sensei took notes.
Eyeing each other, we began circling. Kiba kept his balance close to the ground as I kept my feet light. Almost like I was dancing. Kiba's canine teeth were on full display as he grinned. Whenever Kiba was allowed to be aggressive, he shined.
I didn't bother even trying to come up with an offensive move. Kiba lacked patience. He would always strike first. And I wasn't disappointed. One circle later, and Kiba was darting in my direction. Timing it, I jumped into the air before Kiba could make an impact. Twisting, I aimed a kick for his shoulders; planning on knocking him to the ground. I succeeded, but Kiba wasn't out. On the ground, he rolled and gripped my ankle before I had fully landed and could try to pin him. As if my leg was a bat, Kiba swung until my balance was sufficiently screwed and I fell next to him; landing on my back. Always being a quick one, Kiba was on me before I could regain myself. Pinning my arms to my sides with his knees; Kiba used his arms to keep me from using my weight to fight back. "Told you I'd get you back for last time", Kiba teased as Akamaru barked excitedly in the background.
"Uh" I complained as my nose wrinkled. "Kiba, I think you forgot to brush your teeth this morning".
"The match goes to Kiba", Iruka-Sensei announced as the Inuzuka started to blush. "Good effort you two. I liked the hustle", Iruka-Sensei complimented as Kiba pulled the both of us to our feet.
Gone were the days when I refused to fight against the future rookie nine. In fact, I held no scruples about holding back at all. My fellow civilian-born classmates now feared me as I had no problem playing dirty. Or as dirty as Iruka-Sensei would allow me to act. And that incident with Ami and her hair had given me a reputation that had carried over to this school year.
Out of the rookie nine, I now routinely bested Sakura, Naruto, Ino, Shino, Chouji, and Shikamaru. Not that that was a testament to me being stronger or anything. With Naruto, it was the same as it had been last year. He was stronger and faster than me. His stamina was still miles ahead of mine. But he was predictable and didn't plan. Making it easy to take advantage of his mistakes. At least he never accused me of pulling punches again.
Sakura was laughably easy to beat and I was making up for the times I had given her an easy win. But I knew it was short-lived. Post-academy Sakura would probably knock me on my ass. It was the same for Ino. Although, she probably could beat me as we are now. She didn't because she didn't like to appear dirty or sweaty in front of her friends. Meaning there were lines she wasn't willing to cross.
With Shino, there was no question who was stronger. It was more that he was unwilling to fight against me. Some sort of misplaced brotherly loyalty. For Shikamaru and Chouji, it was somewhat similar. For Shikamaru, he just didn't consider me to be worth the effort. Especially because he didn't want to hear me, "whine about it during lunch". Shikamaru's words; not mine. And Chouji, he generally was afraid of hurting me. So, both of my friends tended to forfeit when we were paired. Shame.
The other members of the rookie nine were a bit of a toss-up. Hinata I could sometimes beat if I psyched her out before she gained any footing. And Kiba and I had a decent back and forth. Victory really depended on the day. The only person I hadn't managed to get the best of was Sasuke. Though I considered it to be a win when I managed to land a few blows before he took me out.
It was nice. Even if I never admit it. No one in my class was able to overlook me now. I was more than just the gutter rat.
Rule Number 3: Don't Get Attached
"Hey, Shino?" I asked as I let myself into his bedroom without knocking. Padding across his bedroom floor in my pajamas, I stopped at the edge of his bed. "Are you asleep".
Shino rolled over onto his back and stared up at me without his glasses. It was one of the few times that he didn't wear them. The first time I saw Shino without his glasses, I found it unnerving to be looking into a pair of eyes that matched my own. "No", he answered. "Why? Because you have disturbed me". Despite phrasing it that way, Shino moved over so there was room for me to lie next to him.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" I asked after I had situated myself. Lying side by side, we stared up at his ceiling. Shibi wasn't home to prevent me from stealing Shino's beauty sleep from him.
To celebrate today, he had taken us out for a nice dinner at one of the Akamichi's restaurants. But he got summoned by some unseen force halfway through the meal. Shibi wasn't the only one. Every ninja in the restaurant, chunin and higher, had gotten up and left at the same time. He hadn't come back yet.
"Yes", came Shino's very direct response.
"Who do you think you'll be on a team with?" I asked; avoiding the real reason I had invaded his room.
"I have not thought about it", Shino shared. "Why? Because it will not affect the outcome". I had a hunch of his teammates were going to be. But if Shino wasn't even going to ponder it, why should I ruin the surprise for him?
"I've thought about it", I admitted; knowing that Shino wouldn't ask. "But I'm hoping I'm wrong". As far as I had thought about it, there were only two logical options when it came to where I would be placed on a team. Both were undesirable, but one was more…. Easy to manipulate than the other. We lay in silence for a moment. I wanted Shino to ask me why I was in his room. Why I had woken him up. But I knew he wouldn't. So, I swallowed my nerves and said, "Now that we both have our headbands, I'm going to move out soon".
Silence. I had grown used to silence since adjusting to living amongst the Aburame. But when I had a goal in mind, I found it maddening. "As soon as I get my first payout", I continued. "I found a cheap apartment in an okay part of the village. It's not much. But it's bigger than my last apartment. More than enough room for Anzu and me". Realizing that I was rambling, I tried to reign it back in. "I have to get her out of the red district. You understand that, right?" Silence. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you can visit if you want…. Whenever you want". My voice came out meek. But in front of Shino, I didn't mind.
Silence…. Before a softly whispered, "Thank you".
"Sorry for being a pain in the butt these last couple of years", I whispered; closing my eyes.
When Shibi finally returned home, he found Shino and I fast asleep in Shino's room. What he did or how he felt about it…. I don't know.