A/N:
Thanks for all the support on Chapter 5! Enjoy chapter 6 😊
"He's dead?"
Armin's mouth is grim and firmly set. "We followed the records of anyone who left the city up to a month after the charges. Floch tracked down a person fitting our descriptions and he died two months after."
Eren is still for a moment before letting out a loud exhale of frustration. Immediately, he has a flashback of when they were both 15, struggling to compile the evidence and hitting dead ends repeatedly.
It wasn't like he was expecting this to be easy after six years.
But he refuses to fail this time.
"What about the person who could've tampered with the employment list?"
Armin nods, placing some files onto the desk. "Floch and I are working on it. I'll report back with any news."
Reclining in his seat after grabbing the files, Eren flips through the pages. They detail the background checks of senior members in the Arlert household — anyone who could've tampered with the list. "If they were blackmailed or forced, then there should be a drastic change in their personal lives after the charges. Find anyone who matches this description."
"What if this person is also dead?" Armin asks, concern flitting onto his face.
Letting out another heavy sigh, the prince comments, "It's possible." Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he looks down at the files again, thinking and attempting to figure out the pieces. His brows knit together, forming wrinkles in his forehead.
Suddenly, sitting up in his seat, Eren asks, "How many of these people are still working in your house?"
Pursing his lips in thought, the blond man answers, "Maybe about half?"
Upon hearing his own sentence, Amin's eyes abruptly widen, coming to the same conclusion as the dark-haired prince. "Do you think…" he trails off, looking at Eren with a questioning gaze.
The gears in the dark-haired man's brain turn and churn as he nods furiously. "Yes. It's possible this person is still alive, and that Zeke remains in contact with them. He may have planted someone in your house as a contingent plan — in case they figured out we were closing in on them." A hole forms in the middle of Eren's stomach at the implication.
Armin's eyes flit back and forth, as if connecting everything in his head. Snapping his gaze back to his friend, the strategist asks, "Do you think that's why we failed all those years ago then?"
"It's possible." A darkness falls over Eren as he voices the potential affirmation. However, he takes a deep breath and closes the records with a resounding snap. "Either way, look into everyone on this list and see what you find."
His strategist nods slowly and takes the files. However, Armin doesn't stand up to leave, merely fiddling with the documents on his lap for a second. Knowing that the blond man has something else to say, the prince simply waits.
The lines of Armin's mouth are thin and fixed as he ponders his thoughts. Finally, glancing back to Eren, he says quietly, "I heard Zeke made a move to curry favor with Mikasa."
Eren should honestly be used to the sensation of the little boy's cries and wails by now.
But it never makes the anguish any less potent or intense.
Eren doesn't say anything, opting to continue playing with the pen. Yet, the hold on the object becomes stronger. His movements are jerkier. A more prominent shadow falls over his demeanor. His spine unconsciously shoots up, unable to lean back in his seat anymore. Tiny nails begin driving into his skin, prickling every inch of his body acutely and deeply.
He tried staying away from her, no matter the amount of suffering he knew they were both going through. He tried to mask his desire so that no one would try to use it against him. He tried enclosing himself in ice so that no one would gauge the furnace that seethed in him whenever he thought about Mikasa in sadness or sorrow.
But it still wasn't enough.
Eren failed.
He failed to be her protection against sadness and sorrow.
The little boy rattles the bars, screaming and hollering. A soreness erupts in the back of his neck. Clenching his jaw, the prince only can clutch the pen so vigorously that it may shatter. His features contort, fire smoldering in his forest-green eyes. The teal specks glow brightly with unconcealed violent fury. The veins in his hands contrast with his tan skin, protruding from the blood surging through him.
"Stop looking at that pen like you want to stab someone with it."
Armin's exasperated voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Glancing up at the blond man looking at him with a hint of weary ire filtering through his expression, Eren scowls and responds lowly, "Right now, there's a target in front of me."
Surprisingly, his friend snorts, somehow alleviating the weariness in Armin's face. "Then you lose your best strategist and your position."
Wryly, Eren states, "I can manage." However, his stony tone carries less weight than expected. Unconsciously, his grasp on the object between his fingers slackens.
The tiny gold specks in Armin's eyes gain a delicate, amused twinkle. His shoulders loosen a tad as he asks with snark, "Then, who would be the brains behind this feat we're trying to accomplish?"
Despite himself, one corner of Eren's lips tugs up slightly. Something begins stirring in him, beginning to rise to the surface. The furious shine of the teal specks lessens to something lighter and mistier. "I think you doubt me too much."
Letting out a tiny teasing smile, Armin responds, "Your track record was never very high." The lines on his face sag a bit, mitigating the grim edge that was set on his expression previously.
Inadvertently, the two childhood friends chuckle gingerly. They both slouch into their seats, any pressure in their postures fading briefly. A fleeting hazy, softness overcomes their demeanors, taking away the stress and anxiety from their discussion. Both of their features smoothen a little, making them appear like their youthful age instead of hardened young men.
For a moment, they're not Eldia's strategist or Eldia's Prince: they're little boys who would spend their days playing under the bright, shining sun. They're young teens who mapped out their desires and hopes for this nation. They're idealistic children who thought peace would come easily.
They're naïve boys who thought change could come if they called for it.
And it's then that he's hit with the full strength of a long-repressed nostalgia and wistfulness.
It seems like Armin feels the same way, as the little smile on his face dims. A sudden fatigue overcomes his posture. Looking down at the documents in his hand, his friend asks quietly, "Do you ever think about what we could've done, if we didn't choose to go on this path?"
His world becomes enveloped in darkness and frost.
There was a time when all he thought about was the throne.
Eren thought about it ever since he was old enough to understand that one day, the Empire could be his. He thought about it because he wanted to prove himself to his father. He thought about it because he wanted to rule as a great leader who did all he could for the people and nation.
He thought about it because he wanted to be special.
After the Arlerts' were accused of treason, it only heightened his fiery resolve. He hated how his father was silent during the trial, looking on the investigation dispassionately. Eren hated how he suspected that the Emperor knew that the evidence was tampered with, but still chose to keep Zeke in his favor. He hated how the feeble-minded ministers were swayed so easily, while those who obviously questioned the charges never stepped up purposefully to denounce the results.
Most of all, Eren hated that he was powerless to stop the bright smile disappear from his friend's face as those torturous months went by. He hated that he was helpless to stop his mother from standing by the Arlert's at the expense of her own health. He hated that he couldn't stop the sickness from consuming his mother's life. He hated that no matter how much he tried, he couldn't save a beloved family from falling into ruin while others stepped on them with their filthy, blood-stained shoes.
It was then that Eren refused to be powerless. He refused to be helpless. He refused to be shackled to the sidelines, while his loved ones fell in front of his very eyes.
It was then that he was reminded that every day is a battle. Every day is a step toward meeting another day. Every day is a fight for survival.
Every day is a fight for their freedom — his freedom.
But then there was a time when he truly forgot everything.
Suddenly, Eren sees a long-forgotten dream that illuminates his dark, cold world.
There's a cabin in the high mountains of Hizuru. There'd be a crystal-blue lake nearby that reflected the orange light from the afternoon sun. At night, the stars would twinkle and shine amidst the darkness.
Eren sees Mikasa by his side.
She'd sew and make clothes, her delicate fingers embroidering the fabric skillfully. She'd make tea for him whenever he took a break from hunting, chopping wood and fashioning furniture with his own bare hands. She'd gently caress the petals of a blooming flower in their garden, tending to the plants with great care. She'd look at him with those glittering dark-grey eyes and tender smile, making her look like an angel sent down from the heavens.
There was a time when he never wanted anything more than that peaceful life with her.
But the world that he's living in is cruel.
So, Eren can only lock the little boy in the cage. He can only tuck him away, in a world covered in darkness and desolation. He can only ignore the sound of the clanking bars from the little boy's wrath and bitterness to be set free.
Thus, his features transform back into those of a toughened, young man who's seen his world crash and burn. A shadow falls over him, wiping away any semblance of a young man who misses his sunny youth — scorching any semblance of a boy who wants to stay in this long, beautiful dream.
With steel in his forest-green eyes, the dark-haired prince answers in a dour tone, "It doesn't matter. All we can do is move forward until our enemies are destroyed."
He can only create a new reality where his loved ones are free from suffering. He can only create a new world where he's free from the chains that bind him. He can only create a new world where he's succeeded in fighting against his miserable fate.
It won't be that long dream, but he can create a new reality where Mikasa is by his side.
Because all he can do is fight to avoid submitting to this bitter fate the two of them have.
Armin studies him with an indiscernible expression, hints of various emotions flashing through his blue eyes. His mouth is set in a stiff line. The contours of his face are accentuated by the flickering shadows from the fireside. Soon, Eren sees any trace of the little boy with that awkward bowl cut is also gone — in his place is someone who also wishes to be free from this hell.
Finally, the strategist lets out a sigh. Slowly, Armin stands up with a proper stance, shedding any of the previous lethargy in his aura. Straightening his dark-blue robes and dipping his head in a respectful parting, he moves towards the door.
Yet, at the last moment, he pauses. Raising an eyebrow, Eren wonders what else is on his friend's mind. Rotating his body partially, Armin comments nonchalantly, "The Founding Day is coming up soon. Maybe Mikasa would enjoy seeing the city."
Eren's jaw falls open in shock. But then a searing pang engulfs every part of him, melting the frost that clings to him. Quickly narrowing his eyes, he's about to retort but the blond man's already left the room.
The sensation gets worse the longer he remains in his seat. Inhaling a deep breath and closing his eyes, he tries to reign in the flames that are exploding through the icy prison. However, it doesn't seem to placate them, causing him to grit his teeth.
His first reaction is no: Zeke or someone else could harm her.
But even so. Despite his brother's many faults and ruthlessness, Eren also understands begrudgingly that it wouldn't be smart to try anything until after the appointment.
With annoyance, he suspects Armin already considered this, which is why he brought it up.
Yet, Eren's still hesitant. There are too many what-ifs with Mikasa's safety if she leaves the palace.
He hears the little boy kicking and punching at the bars, screaming that she's not happy.
In that moment, Eren remembers Mikasa's glistening eyes when they explored the streets during the Festival of the Sky Lanterns. He remembers her joy and amazement at the scenery. He remembers the beautiful flush that circulated through her skin as she took in the excitement around her. He remembers how the light shined down on her, giving her a much more ethereal and beautiful glow.
He remembers how beautiful and peaceful she appeared underneath the luminating orange night sky.
The little boy cradles his bruised and battered hands to his chest, wailing that he promised.
Eren lets out a growl, slamming his fist down onto the desk.
Damn.
"My lady, the Founding Day is tomorrow!"
Mikasa shifts her head to gaze at Sasha clapping excitedly. Despite her maid's enthusiasm, she simply arches a brow and continues taking off her earrings mechanically. "The Founding Day? As in the day the Eldian Empire was established?"
Sasha nods enthusiastically. Her eyes are wide and sparkling as she exclaims, "Yes! Would you like to go?"
Pausing for a second, the princess skeptically glances at her maid through the mirror. Even though Sasha looks incredibly eager and fervent, Mikasa isn't sure she shares the same sentiment for a place that isn't her home. "I think it's difficult for me to travel out of the palace."
"We can pretend that you're sick and that no one is to enter your quarters! I can take you through the servant's route that leads outside the palace, and we can go to the celebration," Sasha suggests with a cheerful beam while fluffing the pillows on the bed.
Mikasa takes off her bracelets slowly, putting them gently into her jewelry box. Pursing in her lips, she admits that it's not a bad plan.
But she still hesitates.
"You haven't even seen the city yet! It'll be a breath of fresh air. It might do you well to have a little bit of fun," the brunette servant coaxes, the zeal never leaving her face or voice.
Unsure, Mikasa dons a stoic expression as she begins taking the pins out from her hair.
Nevertheless, as her hand dislodges a light purple flower-shaped pin, she remembers the streets of Hizuru.
She remembers the flowers that were in the last stages of their blooming season at this time of year. She envisions the merchants who traded and sold items. She can smell the mouth-watering food that made her eyes light up with excitement. She hears the laughter of children playing games and flying kites. She imagines the scholars who read poems or played go against one another.
As a result, her throat clogs in rising distress. In that moment, Mikasa can't help but wonder if the streets of Eldia are similar.
"I know you've had a hard time adjusting to Eldia"—the princess halts her movements—"but maybe seeing the city will be rejuvenating," Sasha says gently. Done preparing the bed, she comes up behind her to help take down the elaborate hairstyle.
For a fleeting second, Mikasa feels small and tiny.
She never paid heed to it before, but she knew that people in the palace gossiped about the Hizuran princess who had to leave the palace for the countryside to recover from a fainting spell. While Empress Dina was cordial and compassionate, Mikasa knew that the consorts and princesses feigned their sympathy and good wishes, only to peek at her cloyingly from under their lashes when she turned her back to them.
None of those things hurt her.
But she was still human — meaning there were still moments that it all became too unbearable and burdensome.
Yet, as she glances at Sasha in the mirror, Mikasa sees that the young woman is smiling softly at her. Her touch is calming as she picks out the pins. Most strikingly, her features are round and so genuine. She looks like she sincerely cares about her well-being.
She looks kind and sweet, simply because she is.
In that instant, warmth covers Mikasa, immersing her in a much-needed comfort and making her feel protected. Promptly, an overwhelming surge of emotions engulfs her. It makes her feel like she's finally back under the radiant light of the sun and breathing in the scenic, fresh air. A different feeling makes her throat close. Swallowing unsteadily, she nods.
Sasha's face lights up with delight, causing her to clap in glee. However, in her thrill, a pin in her hand accidentally flies to the opposite end of the room.
Yelping anxiously, her eyes widen in shock. Her face grows bright red. Wringing her fingers momentarily, she finally settles for deeply bowing repeatedly while clamoring, "I'm so, so, so sorry! Please forgive my clumsiness!"
Immediately skedaddling around the bed and to the writing desk, Sasha gets down on her knees to search under the table for the ornament.
Unable to help herself, Mikasa lets out a tiny giggle at the sight. Instantly, however, she stills. Astonished, she can only spin to gape at herself in the mirror.
She can't remember the last time she laughed like that.
"Ow!" Alarmed, the princess shoots up from her seat, craning her neck to see what happened. Nevertheless, that feeling quickly fades and is replaced with trickles of amusement. In her endeavor to find the pin, Sasha bumped her head against the bottom of the desk. Falling back onto the floor, the young woman rubs her head in a comical fashion, whining meekly.
Letting out a small chuckle, she walks across the room to help her clumsy, but sweet, maid.
It's only when she's tucked into bed that she realizes she never felt the weight of the chains for the entire night.
Although bewilderment at first fills her again, small drops of relief soon seep through her, allowing her to rest easily for the first time in so long.
Eren can't repress the frustrated groan that escapes him as he maneuvers through the hordes of people.
The brick streets are littered with glitter and confetti from the parade. Giant banners hang high above them, all of them looming over the people swarming the roads. Stands open for food and drink are crowded with customers. Stalls selling trinkets and ornaments are also busy. Music fills the air amid the loud chatter, the trumpets and clarinets providing a beat for anyone to dance, sing or clap to.
Meanwhile, Sasha is dragging a dazed Mikasa through every stall, yapping away about how "this snack is yummy" or "that food is scrumptious" or — heavens forbid — "that meat is delicious".
Currently, they're at an ice-cream stand and Sasha is excitedly proclaiming that this is one of her favorite foods and that Mikasa has to try it.
He huffs, leaning against a lamp stand some distance away and crossing his arms. He's forgone his royal robes for today and is now simply wearing a collared shirt with a vest, and slacks.
Unable to help it, a little scowl stretches across his face; when he told her maid to take her out to the Founding Day festival, Eren wasn't expecting Sasha to stop them essentially every few minutes to eat something.
While the maid was certainly enjoying her time, he noticed Mikasa seemed a little overwhelmed by the masses of people. She kept on glancing around skittishly at the festivities. Sometimes when her eyes focused on something, they would suddenly glaze over — as if she were recalling a distant memory. She'd only be jolted from her haze when Sasha would catch sight of some food, squeal with fervor and then pull her to the stand.
Furthermore, Mikasa had only opted to take a few bites of everything she ate so far, leaving her maid to gobble up the rest. She'd first examine the food with skeptical eyes and observe Sasha eating it in large bites. Then she'd finally take a little bite of her own. Every time her face would be blank, but he saw the vague disappointment reflected in her dark-grey eyes when it didn't suit her palate.
With a pang, he's also noticed that she's lost some weight since coming here four months ago. Her cheeks are a bit slimmer, and her facial structure is slightly more angular. Her usual bright eyes are plagued by dark circles. Her features are more tired and brittle, like smiling and laughing are no longer emotions that are frequently conveyed on her expression.
The sight only makes the fire torch through the chilly tomb, causing him to grit his jaw and dig his nails into his arms.
"Mikasa, here!" Sasha extends the ice-cream cone to the princess, who's currently looking off-handedly around the streets. Blinking, she swivels around, her gaze falling on the cone. Traces of doubt leak through her face as she studies the unfamiliar food.
"Hurry! It'll melt if you don't eat it soon!" the brunette servant exclaims happily, already gorging hers with gusto with sparkling hazel eyes.
Eren's eye twitches in annoyance. If anything, the maid was enjoying her task a little too much.
"Why is it pink?" Mikasa asks cautiously. Nonetheless, her fingers tentatively reach out to accept the cone.
"It's made from strawberries!" Sasha explains cheerfully. The cream has already gotten everywhere on her mouth.
The prince can't repress another huff of mild irritation, fingers tapping onto his arms in a somewhat agitated manner.
One of Mikasa's brows arches a tad. After watching the brunette in front of her for a few seconds, she hesitantly takes a little bite from her own with a small wrinkle in her forehead.
Yet, Mikasa's eyes instantly widen, astonishment creeping through her expression. Her pink lips part before they lightly smack together. Peering down at her cone, a little blush spreads onto her cheeks as she says incredulously, "It's delicious."
Eren stills.
"Right? I thought you'd like it!" Sasha nods wholeheartedly with a beaming smile. Spinning her head to see where else they could go, she lets out another excited squeak before grabbing Mikasa's hand and tugging her along.
He stands there for a second longer, staring at the spot the two were just in. All previous vexation is wiped away from his demeanor. Inadvertently, the corners of his lips rise. He lets out a half-chuckle, half-sigh, his shoulders suddenly loosening. With an unconscious spring in his step, Eren trails after them with his hands in his pockets.
As he walks through the streets, Eren now takes the time to observe the festivities. When he looks at the people pointing in amazement or excitedly conversing, he remembers the times when he'd sneak out with Armin to explore the streets when they were younger. They'd eat some of the stall food, surprised at how much better it'd be than the food that was served at the palace or at Armin's home.
Sometimes, Eren would spend all his money on the games in the streets, to which Armin would exasperatedly tell him that they were all rigged (he was of course, ignored repeatedly). Sometimes, Eren would get into fights, to which Armin would try to lug him back home desperately. And sometimes, Eren would simply cause mischief in the streets, to which he'd dash away from the scene with Armin screaming at him close behind.
Unknowingly, a real chuckle comes out at the memories. The seething flames die down to serene ones by a cozy hearth. The prickling sensation fades to a dim, pleasant tingle as he absorbs the rays of the afternoon sun. It makes him feel lighter and more relaxed as he catches up to the two young women in the square.
Craning his neck to watch the scene, Eren realizes it's a magic act. The prince scoffs to himself, knowing that it's probably the same tricks they perform every year to scam unknowing bystanders.
However, he peeks at Mikasa and notices that she's silently fixated on the magician's movements while others around her outwardly clap in amazement. Occasionally, her eyes will dart around, prompting the corners of her lips to twitch upward for the briefest second when the magician does something.
Leaning against a pillar, he lets out a tiny, subtle smirk, knowing that she probably also figured out the tricks.
Even so, this is the first time he's seen her come remotely close to being… happy in a long time.
Although Mikasa seems to know that the act is fake, she still appears entranced. While she watches, she slowly continues taking bites from her ice-cream. A little pink gradually grows on her pale face each time the substance smears onto her lips, prompting her to wet them. At times, Mikasa will look down at the cone with the faintest twinkle in her eyes, causing the lines on her face to smoothen.
He can't help but be captivated the more he stares at her.
The more he watches her, the more something soft begins to round out the roughness inside him. The more he watches her, the more the tomb thaws to show a world full of light and solace. The more he watches her, the more the tunnel caves to show a reality of beauty and peace. The more he watches her, the more he feels himself being reeled to shore amid a storming sea.
Unconsciously, he brings himself off the pillar and takes a step closer.
The more he watches her, the more he longs to be closer to her.
Just then, Sasha squeals, pointing to something and pulls her away. Noticeably startled, Mikasa's dark-grey eyes widen as she's dragged away to whatever attraction her maid has spotted next.
Although disgruntled that she was snatched out of his sight yet again, Eren can't find it in himself to be as annoyed as previously.
Pausing by the performers as he strides by them, he begrudgingly reaches into his vest and drops a few coins into the hat placed at the side.
Swiveling his head, he finally spots the two at some stall. Sasha is animatedly pointing and motioning, while Mikasa is just staring with dilated dark-grey eyes and an emotionless, slack face.
Raising an eyebrow, Eren quickly walks toward them.
"These lanterns were imported from Hizuru!"
Eren stops in his tracks.
A banging sounds in his ears from the cage.
"Now that Hizuru has joined the Eldian Empire, trade has been flourishing more than ever between the two nations! It's amazing how different and beautiful the culture is," the merchant gushes as he explains the significance of the lanterns to a few curious customers.
Suddenly, a cold draft eviscerates any semblance of prior warmth. Ice and darkness slither into the world again. Yet, the flames transform from the pleasant ones of a hearth into those of a violent and wrathful inferno. His anchor to shore has been yanked away, leaving him stranded and gasping for air.
"In my many years of business, I've never seen a nation quite like Hizuru. I'm thrilled that globalization has brought us so many new opportunities."
The prince wants to rip that merchant's tongue out.
Snapping his gaze towards Mikasa, Eren stops and feels his heart attempting to hide to stay in the remains of any light and heat.
Her features are completely stoic and deprived of anything close to happiness. There's a discernible tremble in her face. Almost unconsciously, the hand not holding her cone reaches toward her neck, sluggishly massaging the collarbone. Her dark-grey eyes have lost any likeness of a light, a brewing storm swirling and churning in those orbs.
And most of all, her expression becomes hazy again, as if she were sleepwalking and stuck in a dream.
Or nightmare.
The little boy tucks his knees against his chest and wails in anguish.
In that instant, there's the desire to comfort her and never let her go. There's the desire to grab her hand, letting her know that he's here by her side. There's the desire to wrap his arms around her again, protecting and saving her from everything.
There's the desire to be her home again. There's the desire to be her beloved.
Sasha — miraculously — has ceased her chatter and peeks at Mikasa. After studying her with a curious expression, it seems to dawn on her that there's something jarring about this object to the princess.
Nevertheless, the bright smile pops back onto Sasha's face as she starts pulling her to another area — albeit more gently than previous times. "My lady, look over there!"
There's the desire to let the young boy out of the cage.
The dark-haired princess noticeably startles, glancing at her maid in shock. Sasha merely maintains the smile and gives her arm another small tug. Mikasa hesitantly nods, letting herself be guided away.
Yet, she doesn't leave before giving one final look at the lantern. When he catches sight of her face, Eren sees the bitter nostalgia in her eyes. He sees the clarity that filters through the glassiness in her stormy eyes. He sees the coarseness in her features as she wakes up.
He sees the sun fall from her sky in that world, stranding her in this new reality.
Upon that realization, all he feels is himself being burned alive.
There's the desire to carve out his heart and give it to her, so that she knows everything in that world was real.
"Your Highness."
And just like that, he can only ignore the little boy bawling in misery in the bleak cage.
The prince can only school his features and cover himself in frost again. Pivoting to Floch, Eren finds his soldier don a serious, yet enthusiastic expression as he quietly reports, "Armin sent me to call you back. We have news."
Hence, he can only ignore how he instantly longs for the warmth under the sun. He can only ignore the tunnel that forms over him again, surrounding him in dreariness and shadows. He can only ignore the storm that churns and thrashes against him, beating and pummeling him. He can only ignore the fire that consumes every inch of his being.
Eren can only ignore all these things so he can move forward in this reality.
There's the desire to carve out his heart and give it to her, so that she knows she will always be his everything — in whatever reality they live in.
"We found the servant that tampered with the list."
The dark-haired prince's green eyes become even more vibrant and vivid as he greedily grabs the papers to scan the content.
"It was the housekeeper," Armin reports, putting down more files onto the desk. "His daughter has a chronic illness; Zeke gave him money so he could modify the employment list and inform him of our investigation six years ago. Ever since, Zeke's given him payments whenever he requires confidential information."
Eren pauses momentarily, hearing the hints of sadness in his friend's tone. Peering up at him, he sees Armin's features are blank. However, there's a discernible knit in his brow, making him look downtrodden. Traces of unrest linger in his face. The gold flecks in his blue eyes are dull and lifeless.
Lightly running his fingers over the documents, the prince asks gruffly, "Do you pity him?"
"There was no reason to involve him," Armin responds emotionlessly. His blue eyes shift to meet Eren's green ones. "So many people have suffered because of this fight."
Silence fills the room at first. The implication of the words is not lost on Eren.
But this is the reality of the world they live in.
Crossing his legs and reclining in his seat, the prince taps his fingers on his thigh. Once. Twice.
In an equally detached voice, he replies, "Whether through tears, anger, cruelty, compassion or peace, this is what humans are in the end. But no matter what, we need to show our wills to move on."
Glancing back down at the records in his lap, he asks, "So, do we have everything?"
Eren feels the weight of Armin's gaze on him. He hears the little boy fall onto his knees and weep. He feels himself walking on this earth, a path of fire following him and obliterating everything to ashes and dust.
Looking up when he hears nothing, the dark-haired prince merely cocks a brow at his strategist. The blond man continues to stare at him with a mixed expression. Nevertheless, Eren repeats, "Do we have everything?"
He feels himself crawl out from the bottom pits of hell and claw his way up out of the earth.
Biting the inside of his cheek, Armin gradually nods. The defeat and friction in his posture disappears. The ridges of his face become a little more defined. Clasping his hands behind his back, he says, "Yes. the housekeeper agreed to testify in court to atone for his guilt. We have the original employment list that's been tampered with. Floch's already gathering the information needed to bring down Zeke's corrupted supporters."
Eren flips through the pages and can't repress the tiny smile that stretches across his face. "We need to talk to the neutral ministers. The ones who are still uncertain if I'm the best option will support me if I push Zeke into a corner."
It was all perfect. This could be it.
"But there's no concrete link to Zeke in the charges... He could get away with it."
He jolts his head up from the files to meet Armin's solemn blue eyes. Furrowing his brow, the prince asks, "What do you mean?"
"Zeke got his supporters to do the dirty work for him," the strategist responds dryly. "The Minister of Commerce and Trade was the most involved, so there's no solid evidence against him specifically. Based on what we know of Zeke, he probably has contingency plans in place to cut off his supporters in case things got out of hand."
A crease forms in the lines of Armin's face. "And even if we reveal the evidence, it'll be difficult to get the court to willingly open another investigation; Zeke's side will definitely retaliate and tamper with the proof. Moreover, the neutral ministers will be aware of that, like last time, and will be cautious of going through another failed trial."
Eren is silent. He gingerly rubs the edges of the paper, a shadow beginning to fall over his aura. His shoulders become slightly strained. Bringing his finger to his lips, the prince bites his nail unconsciously. His forehead scrunches as his brain works speedily, deliberating on their next step.
But then, he rotates his head to peer at his friend. Slowly, the tension in his shoulders leave. His forehead smoothens out. His hand lowers to simply tap the side of his thigh. Once. Twice.
Suddenly, the shadow in his demeanor simply morphs to become something darker and more ominous. The lines of his face become strangely eager. With a spark in his eyes that makes Armin feel on edge, he merely states, "We'll force the issue to unexpectedly come out again so that Zeke won't have time to manipulate the results."
"How?"
Even though he asks, Armin isn't sure if he really wants to hear the answer upon noticing the teal blue specks in the prince's animated eyes have taken on a sharper glint.
"We'll put on a show."
She's staring outside the window again.
The sun has long set, the blue sky fading into darkness. The flames of the candle by the windowsill flicker, dancing sporadically and casting light shadows. Yet, the entire time, Mikasa is so lost in her own thoughts that she doesn't realize that the wax starts dripping, dimming the light.
Levi wrote to her this afternoon.
He's been in Paradise for the past two months. It's not explicitly said but Mikasa can gather that there's something brewing in the court, officials split between King Reiss and his "friend" (upon reading that word, she immediately knows her cousin outwardly shows disrespect for the man while secretly admiring him), a distinguished and rapidly-ascending-through-the-court war strategist called Erwin Smith.
From the letter, Mikasa understands that Levi is gauging who is willing to go against King Reiss and who isn't, helping him make a move against Paradise.
But the princess is more in a daze because of what she learned this morning during tea.
"I heard King Reiss of Paradise is looking to marry his youngest daughter, Princess Historia, with another foreign prince," one brunette consort reported, peeking under her lashes over the rim of her teacup. Glancing to the woman across from her, Mikasa sees that the voice comes from the Minister of Commerce and Trade's youngest sister, one of the higher-ranked consorts favored by the Emperor in the harem.
The ladies around her ooh-ed and ahh-ed, gossiping about the potential matches that could be made. Mikasa, on the other hand, simply took another sip of her tea and ignored the low chatter around her.
"I heard that the King is only doing this to find allies because the nation's court is split between him and someone named Erwin Smith," a high-ranked blonde consort said, delicately taking a bite from her cake.
A low round of artificial-sounding gasps filled the room.
"Nonetheless, I'm sure King Reiss will try to arrange a match with someone from our family. Isn't that right, Your Majesty?" the consort next to Mikasa pointed out.
The Empress put her cup down before responding with a hint of fatigue in her voice, "Perhaps. Paradise will certainly try to gain favor with Eldia to improve relations."
Noises of agreement sounded around her. "Do you think that your son will get two wives soon?" another consort questioned, giving a little fake smile to Mikasa before looking up at the Empress.
"Well, it's certainly too early to tell, isn't it?" Empress Dina responded, chuckling lightly with an equally feigned smile.
"Princess Mikasa seems to have gotten very lucky though," the Minister of Commerce and Trade's sister commented, her eyes cold yet sly. "I've heard Prince Eren and Prince Zeke have been vying for her affections."
Goosebumps dart up and down on her skin. "I'm not sure what you mean," Mikasa responded, strengthening her hold on the handle of the teacup in hopes to ward off the familiar sensation of a vine slithering around her collarbone.
"Well. I heard both princes visited you when you had your… erm… fainting spell all those months ago." The woman's light-green eyes flashed subtly.
Already, she could feel her throat constricting, blocking her airflow. Nevertheless, the Hizuran princess curved her lips stiltedly and attempted to make her words sound as fluid as possible. "It seems like they've been taught incredible manners from their youth."
The consort's lips turned up in shrewd amusement. "Indeed. But it seems like Prince Eren has truly fallen in love with you, though."
Everything in her body stopped functioning.
"I wonder if it was love at first sight?" The gleam in the brunette's eyes didn't dissolve, only growing more cunning.
The tendrils crushed her in one single move, compressing her trachea until she had the overwhelming urge to simply reach up and tear off the invisible plants.
"After all, why would Prince Eren ruin a perfectly good treaty between Paradise and Hizuru, if he wasn't madly in love with you?" the consort exclaimed, fanning herself exaggeratedly as if she was so touched by the idea.
Upon hearing that, her heart goes lax.
"Oh my! That is so romantic," the blonde consort next to the Minister's sister squealed. Both glanced at one another slyly before turning their gazes toward the Princess of Hizuru.
In some corner of her mind, Mikasa was more surprised that she didn't just drop her tea and spill it everywhere.
"What do you mean?" she finally asked in a raspy voice. Without noticing it, more of the women in the room have begun looking at the interaction with a mix of expressions: intrigue, uncertainty and amusement.
The older woman smirked before morphing her expression into one of utter surprise. "Don't tell me you didn't know! King Reiss originally planned to propose a marriage between you and one of his sons, but Prince Eren instead promised your hand to the future Eldian Crown Prince."
Huffing melodramatically, she continued, "I suppose it's because he thought the court would favor him more if he didn't marry you right away."
Leaning forward, the Minister's sister clapped excitedly. "But never mind that! Now you have to tell us the details of what happened between you and Prince Eren for him to be so obsessed with you."
Mikasa truly thought she would pass out in any second.
At that moment, there was a crash.
Everyone swiveled their head to see Empress Dina on the floor, clutching the tablecloth with one hand. Cutlery and teacups were scattered on the floor. Plates of desserts toppled over, smearing onto her gown.
Meanwhile Queen Dina looked around with unfocused and glazy eyes. Upon closer inspection, Mikasa saw that the Empress had dark circles. Her round features were extremely saggy as if she hadn't slept well. Furthermore, she was extremely pale, even under the color of her makeup, indicating that she was maybe ill. Her muscles were spasming as she tried to get up.
Servants and the women near her rushed to help her stand up. Cries of alarm erupted among everyone.
"Mother, are you feeling all right?" one of the princesses asked with concern etched onto her face.
"Hm?" Immediately, the Empress's eyes gained clarity. They grew wide in shock as they took in the scene before her, accentuating the dark circles on her face. "Oh yes, forgive me! I seem to have lost some sleep these past few weeks."
From there, the conversation redirected: nothing mattered to the women more than making sure the Empress's wellbeing was unharmed and healthy.
But while everyone else clamored over Empress Dina, Mikasa could only remain motionless in her seat, confined and constrained like a bird in a cage.
A migraine bursts forth in her head upon recalling the memory. Cradling her temple, she tries intaking a breath that comes out more as a broken gasp. Her body starts shivering from an unseen chill, causing her to hunch her shoulders to preserve her little body heat. The imaginary vines creep up her body swiftly and quickly. The thorns comb along her skin, making her inadvertently whimper from the pain.
Immediately, Mikasa feels the strands wrap around her throat softly and tenderly. It's as if they want to simply caress and brush against her skin.
But then their hold becomes suffocating and tormenting, ensnaring and trapping her.
She doesn't understand.
Desperate, she massages her neck, hoping it'll open her windpipe. She rubs the skin to the point where it becomes bright red. Beneath her fingers, Mikasa can feel the muscles in her throat constricting and contracting unevenly. Her lungs feel like they've collapsed. The blood rushes briskly through her, going to her head and making her feel dizzy.
Nevertheless, it doesn't work.
Blindly unlocking the latch on the window, she pushes the glass outwards to allow the cool wind to hit her face. Opening her mouth, Mikasa takes large gulps of the air. Her body continues to tremble and convulse. Her hands are gripping the panes so strongly that they might break the wood. Heaving, she feels herself choke on nothing, activating her gag reflex. Moisture comes to her eyes and black spots dance in her vision.
Shakingly, she takes one hand off the window to slowly place it over her chest. Feeling her heart thrash brutally and erratically, Mikasa tries focusing on something to take her mind off the misery her body is undergoing.
Low voices sound in the distance. Craning her head with difficulty, she peeks down at the pavilion.
Abruptly, her breath stutters, causing her to feel even more light-headed.
Eren is talking with a red-haired man. His posture is tall, and he's shed his jacket, leaving him in a vest and collared shirt with trousers.
He's dressed like the same person she first saw two years ago in that tea shop. That person had a friendly appearance with beautiful forest-green eyes. When she was within close distance of him, Mikasa could see the teal-blue specks reflected in them. He had a small, faint splatter of freckles along the bridge of his nose.
Mikasa's body begins to quiver less. She takes in air in more steady gulps. Her breaths come out in longer spurts.
She can't hear their conversation, but she can vaguely discern the keenness that oozes off Eren.
He always was playful and mischievous around her. His cheeky banter never failed to make her giggle and laugh out loud. He listened to her and understood her hopes for her nation. He took the time to get to know her and didn't judge her based on her status.
Mikasa's heart begins to develop a stable rhythm again. Her lungs feel like they're rebuilding themselves. Her vision clears up. Even though she still feels like she's going to throw up, her breathing is slower and longer.
Even in the dark, she can discern the sharpness from his features and the attentiveness when listening to the other man.
He always looked at her like she was an angel that came down from the sky. He always looked at her like she was his everything. He always looked at her like he wanted to protect her and be by her side forever. He always looked at her like she was the light in his world.
Mikasa's grasp on the window slackens. The confinements around her have shrunk. She continues to feel faint but she's almost breathing normally again. One hand continues to rest over her heart gently, feeling the organ thump evenly. Her body feels like it ran up and down a mountain.
The two begin walking farther and farther away the pavilion, away from the window.
Unconsciously, Mikasa raises her hand. Without even realizing it, her fingertips extend toward Eren's figure.
Would he notice her? Would he look back?
And then, she's rammed with what just happened.
Instantly, her heart feels like it's been shattered into a thousand fragments. It feels like it's cracking and fissuring in her chest, tearing her entire being into miniscule pieces. It feels like it's been carved crudely out from her body, only for someone to drive another dagger into it.
Slowly sinking down to the floor, Mikasa folds her knees to her chest and sits there. Her eyes screw shut, features contorted in anguish and suffering. A sting hits the front of her head, prompting her to shove her face between her legs. Digging her fingers into her hair and wrenching strands out from her bun, she rocks back and forth on her bottom, needing to hold onto something in this reality.
"My lady!"
Water builds up in the corner of her vision.
Mikasa looks up to see Sasha staring down at her with anxious and worried hazel eyes. Without saying anything, her maid drops onto her knees. She hoists one of Mikasa's arms onto her shoulder while clutching her by the waist. On unsteady feet, she can already feel her muscles wanting to crumble. After taking a wobbly step forward, her legs feel like jelly about to splatter onto the floor.
Nonetheless, Sasha is strong and merely tightens her hold around Mikasa's waist, putting more of the princess's weight onto her own body.
They sluggishly hobble to her chambers; the entire time, it is a repeat of Mikasa stumbling every few steps while Sasha merely lifts her up again. The brunette servant doesn't say anything the entire time other than a few encouraging words for her to continue treading bit by bit.
Even though all she can experience is her body is ripped apart and repaired, only for the cycle to repeat agonizingly, Mikasa attempts to focus on the soothing sound of Sasha's voice.
After some time, they make it back to her room where Mikasa is laid under the covers. When her head hits the pillow, her eyelids immediately begin to flutter shut.
The last thing she hears is her maid's soft tone saying, "Sleep, I'll be here."
But the tears still don't come out before she falls asleep.
"Have the servants completed everything?" the prince asks a bit impatiently. Despite the lackluster light from the moon and stars, the anticipation is clearly reflected and shining in his teal-blue specks.
"Yes. The maid has just started the next phase of the plan," Floch reports dutifully. The redhead also can't resist the smirk that begins to spread on his angular face.
"Our trails?" Eren questions, tucking his hands into his pockets. The small breeze tickles the tiny baby hair on his forehead. The ends of his rumpled shirt sway lightly with the wind. A fervor, yet ominous aura emanates off him.
"Covered. No one would find out in time. In fact"—Floch shrugs casually, indifferent to who he's currently speaking to—"no one would expect you to do something like this."
Eren cocks an eyebrow, but it carries no real malice. In a simple, factual tone, he states, "That is true."
Floch tilts his head down. However, in an apologetic tone that doesn't sound very apologetic, the lieutenant says, "Forgive me, Your Highness. All I meant was that I admire your determination."
Eren understands the meaning behind those words — they both do.
And like Floch, the Eldian prince understands that for the sake of his freedom, sacrifices must be made, no matter how ruthless or cruel they seem. Eren understands that building a new world means to move on with purpose and decision in his heart. Creating a new world means to not submit to fate — even if he needs to throw himself away.
In the back of his mind, he notes that the clanging of the metal bars in protest and objection.
The little boy screams that he doesn't want to become something monstrous.
But a subtle yet potent friction reverberates off the dark-haired prince, shuddering the cage violently. The pulsation gets larger and more suffocating, gradually aggressively bearing down on the young boy and effectively silencing him.
When the cries dim and fade, Eren merely rotates on his heel to walk away from the pavilion by the Eastern Palace library. Each step he takes becomes heavier and more intimidating, but the redhead behind him only seems to welcome it.
In a steely voice, Eren asks, "Have you finished gathering all the logs of the bribes and corrupted deals Zeke's supporters have made?"
As his subordinate recounts the update of his progress, the air around them somehow becomes hotter, as though something is crawling out from the cleft of the hidden earth to wreak impeding havoc.
The little boy cries that he doesn't want to throw himself away.
The thing is, Eren doesn't want to either.
As she catches sight of the stars twinkling among the dark sky while getting ready for bed, she distantly wonders where the day has gone.
Empress Dina had been feeling restless and ill for the past week, disrupting the morning tea times with the harem and princesses. Although she wished for the Empress's health to quickly recover, it also came as a blessing in disguise: she didn't want to be in the same room as the Minister of Commerce and Trade's sister.
Mikasa doesn't even know why or how the consort knows that information; all she knows is that whenever she remotely recalls what happened during that morning tea-time, her breath and heart give out, sending her plunging into a dark, wretched state of despair.
Therefore, the princess continues her daily activities in a mechanical fashion, vehemently refusing to consider the implications and truth of what she found out last week. Today, she had more time to read over the letters she'd gotten from her family.
But it only left her staring out the west window in a daze as the flames from the candle danced and flickered until they died.
Levi was still in Paradise, trying to make his move. He seemed to have convinced some families in the Paradisian court to go against King Reiss with the help of Erwin Smith.
On the other hands, her parents were not faring well. Hizuru was incurring high costs that outmatched the increase in revenue. The court is in a standstill on whether they should take on more debt or raise taxes. Her nation was still adjusting to the new rule, some welcoming the change and some becoming more and more resistant, proclaiming that the regime was doing more harm than good.
What hurts Mikasa the most, is that they still worry more about her than they do about themselves. She can sense the weariness and weakness dripping from the words, but they brush off her questions about their health. Instead, they continually ask if she's eating and sleeping well. They ask if she's happy there and has made companions.
Hence, she can only force her hand to not tremble as she writes back to them, pouring as much sincerity into her letters so that they can focus more on taking care of themselves and Hizuru, instead of her.
Mindlessly undoing the sash on her nightrobe, Mikasa wonders when she'll be able to see them again.
Perhaps for the wedding.
That thought causes her hands to freeze. A shiver courses through her body, compelling her fingers to delicately tremble. Biting the inside of cheek, she stiffly resumes her motions, ignoring the familiar distinct wriggling sensation that starts making its way through her.
"Get a good night's sleep! We'll be leaving for the villa early in the morning." Sasha's voice breaks her out of her thoughts.
Shifting her gaze, she catches sight of the brunette's bright beam as she prepares the bed. Unconsciously, the corners of Mikasa's lips curl up into a small, genuine smile.
At first, the princess was scared that rumors about her condition in the library last week would disperse throughout the palace. She was scared that more jabs and comments by the other consorts and princesses would be directed towards her. She was scared that other servants would either look at her with pity or interest, wondering when her next breakdown would be.
Mikasa was fearful that the very few people she built companionships with would look at her differently.
Yet, when she woke up the next morning, Sasha simply carried on with her normal duties. She didn't glance at her from the corner of her eye with unabashed curiosity. She didn't touch her like a fragile doll to dress up. She didn't whisper or murmur things behind her back. Her lady-in-waiting didn't even ask about what happened, merely announcing that she would organize a trip to the Royal Villa for the princess to rest for the remainder of the month.
Sasha simply was there for her — a constant anchor in her life here.
Mikasa didn't realize how much she needed that until then. It made her days go by a little easier. It made her days a little warmer. It made her days a little more satisfying and relaxing.
It made her a little safer and sounder.
"But we'll be back in time for Prince Eren's birthday!"
That sentence, however, causes the small smile to slide off her face. A dull ringing sounds in her ears. Swallowing unsteadily, Mikasa inhales a silent deep breath of air to compose herself.
Sasha doesn't notice, crossing over to the desk to place her letters into a closed box. Casually, she comments, "His Highness will be turning 22! I heard the Emperor is making the event a grand celebration."
Mikasa's movements are stilted as she treads to her bed from her vanity. It feels like she's walking delicately and gingerly on ice: one wrong move and she'll drop right into that endless ocean with no light or hope.
"It seems like the Emperor is very pleased about all His Highness's achievements thus far," the brunette servant muses as she cleans up the items and objects left on the dresser.
Rigidly hoisting herself up onto the fluffy mattress, she tries to ignore the way her heart seems like it's been skewered through cleanly and easily. Carefully leaning back against the pillows, Mikasa tries to maneuver herself in a way that won't aggravate the pressure in her chest.
"Although, it seems like not everyone is happy with the attention he's been receiving recently, especially because of the scandal with the Arlerts," Sasha comments flippantly, as if her mouth simply had a mind of its own.
Mikasa halts.
Pivoting her head slowly to Sasha, who is preparing to dim the lights, the princess asks lowly, "What does that mean?" Her brows knit together in question.
Sasha startles and blushes furiously. Clamping a hand to her mouth, she lowers her head and bows. Her bangs fall in front of her hazel eyes as she hurriedly stammers, "For—Forgive me! I didn't mean to gossip and speak ill of him! I just —"
"What kind of scandal happened?" Mikasa asks with a little more force in her voice. The scrunch in her forehead becomes more defined. She sits up against the headrest, ignoring the soreness in her chest.
"I—I was just running my mouth, my lady. I won't ever —"
"Sasha," she interrupts gently. Her dark-grey eyes soften a bit upon seeing her maid's alarm. "I'm not angry."
The lines on her face sag a bit. Mikasa's fists curl into the sheets. Her shoulders inadvertently become more fixed as she asks softly, "I just want to know…"
"My childhood was uneventful; tell me more about yours," he said while resting his chin in his hand and studying her face. Nevertheless, she could see the tension that overtook his form at her question about his youth.
A twang hits the spot between her dark-grey eyes, causing her to inadvertently twitch forward. However, Mikasa disguises the movement quickly by reaching up to delicately pinch the area. Ignoring the brunette maid's questioning look, she merely says, "Please tell me."
Uncertainty filters through her servant's expression. Sasha starts teetering back and forth on her heels nervously while twiddling with her fingers. "Well… I mean—It's all gossip, of course. I think people just made-up stories based on events that did happen, but —"
"Sasha." Her voice is surprisingly firm.
Puffing out her cheeks and wringing her hands, her maid glances to the door and rushes over to close them. Mikasa is now fully sitting up, her heartbeat starting to speed up.
Sasha quickly comes back to her bedside and says quietly, "Well… Lord Arlert's father and grandfather were accused of plotting treason. They were said to have conspired with a group of other ministers to overthrow the Emperor in a coup d'état and put Prince Eren on the throne."
Eyes widening, Mikasa nods delicately, silently urging Sasha to continue. Nevertheless, she begins to stutter again. "But—well—Prince Eren said that—erm—"
Her maid directs her gaze downward and pauses. She glances at the doorway before peering up at the princess hesitantly.
Mikasa only gives her a stern look in response.
Clearing her throat hastily, Sasha leans forward and continues lowly, "His Highness said it was a conspiracy orchestrated by Prince Zeke. His Highness pleaded that his older brother plotted against him and the Arlerts, who were one of the most prominent families in the court, because they chose to support him for Crown Prince."
Eren chuckled wryly before stating, "I don't have the best relationships with my family." Instantly, she sensed the friction emit off him, causing her to reach forward and grab his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.
"But the Emperor still charged the Arlerts with treason. Prince Eren was initially let off because the court determined the scheme was plotted without his knowledge. Lord Arlert's son was also let off because Royal Consort Carla vouched for him."
Gently gnawing on her lip, Sasha states, "She vouched for the entire family actually. Even after the trial outcome, she protested the charges persistently. It got to the point where the Emperor became extremely angry and refused to see her, even when she knelt in front of his quarters day after day."
"I was very close with my mother. Her death was extremely difficult for me." Eren was still as he looked down at the counter. Sadness immediately coursed through Mikasa. She rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, hoping it would assuage him.
Sasha's expression becomes more sympathetic. "Gradually though, the ordeal left a permanent physical toll on her body. Royal Consort Carla became very ill for about four months before she passed away."
Eren chuckled emotionlessly. "I went crazy for a bit. Ended up doing more harm to myself than good though." Although his face became rough, his touch was completely the opposite as he traced soft designs on the back of her palm.
Rocking on her feet, Sasha explains, "But Prince Eren and Lord Armin tried putting together evidence to show that the treason was a plot. However, they failed to win the case, so the King became very angry and put the two under house arrest."
"I wanted more out of my life, so I came to Hizuru to make my own fortune — and I found you," Eren finished lowly as he leaned forward across the counter and planted a poignant, emotional kiss onto her forehead.
"They recently got out about two years ago. And ever since then, it seems like His Highness has had a vendetta against Prince Zeke."
"My angel."
At first, Mikasa only sits there in a lull, absorbing the story.
Then, she recalls the scattered moments of him narrating his childhood to her.
When she heard those words, an overwhelming surge of happiness ran through her, making her tears well up in her sparkling eyes. In that second, Mikasa was so ecstatic that she could know these things about him. Joy rushed through her upon knowing that he trusted her to comfort him, causing her to bring him down to nuzzle his nose with hers.
As Mikasa pressed her lips gently against his, the only thing she could think about was that it made her so delighted to know that she was what he only wanted in life.
It made her so happy to know that she was his everything — just as he was hers.
The irritation between her dark-grey eyes grows more poignant, causing her to flinch gingerly. She can only hunch over with a taut posture and look away from Sasha's gaze. Her maid continues standing by the bed, clasping her hands in front of her with a concerned stare.
"I see."
What else could she say?
Mikasa can only sit there. Mikasa can only clutch even more onto the sheets, needing a physical anchor to avoid drowning meaninglessly in the ruthless sea again. Mikasa can only feel as though someone's dug a hole in her heart, only to leave it empty and void.
She can only think she was truly a fool.
Finally, Sasha breaks the silence. In a hesitant voice, she asks delicately, "Do you… well—um, I mean—do you like His Highness?"
The vicious ocean swallows her whole.
Her room is illuminated in light but everything in her vision becomes black as she's thrust into the seething waves. Her body has no energy to fight for air. Her lungs are already starting to give out on her: breathing is no longer a function she knows how to do. Every limb that she moves is heavy, prompting her to just sink further and further down the vast, endless sea.
Mikasa eventually shifts her eyes to meet Sasha's uncertain hazel ones. Her face is perfectly blank: she's not sure the nerves are working properly to convey any kind of emotion.
But Sasha immediately backtracks and exclaims, "I mean—it's just—he was concerned about you when you initially fainted, and he even told me to take you out for the Founding Day and —"
Immediately the brunette servant's eyes enlarge, and she slaps her hand over her mouth. Looking toward the door, Sasha appears as though she's about to bolt.
The vicious ocean spits her out.
Suddenly, everything works in overdrive.
Mikasa's spine shoots straight up as she throws back the covers. Her lungs are greedily taking in air, the abrupt flow of oxygen immediately going to her head and making her feel dizzy. Her body feels unbelievably light as she crawls across the bed speedily, uncaring about how graceless she looks.
Propping herself onto her knees at the edge of the bed, she grabs Sasha's shoulders with startling urgency and determination. "What do you mean?"
Her maid gapes. Distinct, nonsensical noises come out from the brunette's mouth as she tries to get over her shock. Casting her eyes down onto the floor, a blush begins to grow on Sasha's cheeks as she stammers, "Uh—um—It's just —"
"Sasha, look at me." Visibly gulping, she gradually lifts her hazel orbs to meet Mikasa's dark-grey ones. The brunette lady-in-waiting is clearly afraid of any repercussions, to which the princess loosens her grip a bit. In a soft, but unwavering voice, Mikasa asks, "He asked you to take me out of the palace?"
An even more impossibly bright red floods Sasha's cheeks before she screws her eyes shut, bites her lips and nods hastily.
Fleeting, but incinerating and aching emotions run over her.
"Why?"
"Tell me how to please my most valuable and favorite customer."
Instantly, it feels like a nail has been jammed into her head. She restrains herself from bending over in misery and compels herself to remain upright.
Sasha's face is now essentially a tomato as she shuffles her weight back and forth on her feet. Her unique accent comes out as she stutters, "Well—I mean—I just assumed His Highness—ya know—also had some… er… feelings for you."
Upon hearing that jumbled sentence, it feels like she's been pushed off a cliff.
Strangely, however, time slows down as she blinks. Once. Twice.
At first, the sensation feels like she's floating and soaring up to the sky. Her limbs are weightless as they reach the maximum height of the parabola. Everything feels disassociated as her body begins its downward path. All she can hear is her heart pounding evenly in her ears. The wind and gravity carry her down, almost gently and tenderly.
For some reason, she feels… at peace.
But then suddenly, Mikasa feels everything.
She's plummeting faster and faster down the cliff. Her abdominal area takes the brunt of the force while her back bends uncomfortably. Mikasa's insides feel like they're caving inwards. The wind is whistling in her ears and beating her face. Her heart is now slamming irregularly against her rib cage. Gravity is bearing down on her more and more until she can feel the weight of the fall trample her completely.
Finally, she hits the dreary, cold, bottomless ocean at full power.
Her entire body straightens out upon initial contact with the surface, but the excruciatingly, agonizing pain provokes her to curl up as she sinks beneath the water. Her sense of sight and sound are completely gone. Flailing and thrashing, Mikasa tries reaching upwards. But then the tendrils snake up her legs at rapid speed, pulling her down.
Anxiously, she tries ripping them off, but to no avail. Eventually, they start coiling up to her neck where they begin to press down on her windpipe. Her head is starting to feel faint, but Mikasa still musters up the energy to frantically grab the ones around her throat and yank them off as hard as she can.
It doesn't work.
She claws at them, the slimy substance clinging to her hands.
It still doesn't work.
Scared, angry and frenzied, Mikasa opens her mouth and screams.
Blinking, she's in the palace — away from that miserable world and back in this wretched reality.
Inhaling a rickety breath, she immediately releases Sasha's shoulders.
Her heart briskly rams itself against her chest, prompting one hand to massage the area to calm it down. Another hand goes up to her collarbone, feeling nothing physically around her neck. Nevertheless, the cold asphyxiating sensation still lingers, so Mikasa shakily struggles to rub heat back into her body. Her lungs are on fire, but they eagerly swallow the air.
Strength completely depleted in her body, Mikasa falls onto her butt on top of the soft covers.
"My lady?"
Glancing up, she sees Sasha looking at her with worried and curious eyes. Catching herself in her frenzied motions, Mikasa halts her movements and composes herself. Taking a deep breath, she says, "I'm fine."
Even to her ears, it sounds clearly like a lie.
Sasha doesn't believe her, skepticism trickling through the unease in her hazel eyes. "Are you sure? You seem —"
"I'm fine. It's getting late, we both should head to bed," Mikasa interrupts a bit breathlessly. Hazily, she thinks can still hear the muffled whistling of the wind like her body continues to tumble from the cliff. On quaking arms, she lifts herself up from her butt and scoots herself back underneath the covers.
"You may turn off the lights. Have a good night," she states, giving Sasha a jerky, upward quirk of her lips in a half-hearted attempt to placate her lady-in-waiting.
It obviously doesn't work, seeing as how Sasha's appearance is still confused and now gains hints of worry. Nonetheless, Mikasa simply ignores the compression in her chest and swallows unevenly. Her mouth is extremely dry: in that second, all she wants to do is dry heave onto the floor. Instead, she curbs that desire and merely rolls over onto the soft, plush mattress while draping the quilt over herself.
When she hears no movement from Sasha, Mikasa's about to give a firmer order.
"Please."
Unconsciously, however, what comes out of her mouth is instead a pitiful whisper.
After a moment, she hears the resigned shuffle of feet to the door. Soon, the lights turn off and she's shrouded in darkness.
In that instant, she thinks this will be it.
Mikasa thinks all the tears will come. She thinks all the tears that she couldn't shed over the past year will finally gush out.
This will be the time when all the tears she couldn't shed will overflow, streaming down her cheeks like tiny rivers of anguish. This will be the time when all the tears that wouldn't fall will rise, letting her feel the full weight of the unspeakable hell that she's been living in. This will be the time when all the tears that wouldn't fall will well up, leaving her wailing and howling in her bed.
But nothing comes.
Distantly, Mikasa considers whether she should scratch her eyes out, forcing the liquid to drown her cheeks in both blood and water.
"Eren. Are you sure you want to do this?"
The light gold flecks in Armin's blue eyes are pleading and reflect anxiety. Yet, the dark-haired prince pays minimal heed, continuing to sit in chair and read the papers in his hand.
"Yes. We need to."
The blond man makes a noise in the back of his throat. "No, we don't."
Eren remains in his position. However, Armin sees his hold on the files twitch and tighten the tiniest bit. Sensing an opening, he places his hands on the table and leans forward, putting his weight onto the surface. In a low voice, Armin asks, "Are you sure you don't want to reconsider?"
"There's nothing to reconsider."
At that Eren stands up, also putting his hands onto the desk and hunching over. There are distinct waves of purpose and resolution emanating off his aura.
However, the chilliness and passion in his tone still catches Armin slightly off guard.
"We fight or we die."
Unknowingly, his breath hitches for a second.
Vibrant forest-green eyes carry a fierce determination, transforming into a rapidly growing fire. The contours of Eren's face are sharper and more jagged. The circles under his eyes are even darker. The dim flames by the hearth flicker in the room, casting shadows to make his usually golden tan skin appear burnt. His hair falls loosely around his shoulders, making him look disheveled and chaotic.
In that instant, Armin thinks Eren has been replaced with another person.
Or being.
Stepping closer to him, the dark-haired prince asks in a soft but unwavering voice, "Are you with me or not?"
And just like that, Armin sees the boy that he grew up with.
He sees the boy that he played with in the gardens when they were young. He sees the boy who used to get in trouble because he climbed the giant trees that towered over the walls of the palace, itching to get a glimpse of the city outside of the palace. He sees the boy who used to lie under the trees with him, talking about his hopes of becoming a ruler for the people of the Empire.
He sees the boy who cried for his father and grandfather when they were arrested and dragged out of their home. He sees the boy who knelt in front of his father, face contorted with righteous fury and tears, pleading for the Emperor to see the truth. He sees the boy who begged his mother to not leave him when she took his hand on her deathbed and told him to live a happy life away from the perils of the palace.
Armin sees the boy who resolved to protect his loved ones because he was naturally selfless. He sees the boy who persisted in rising upward in these pits of hell because he believed no one should be deprived of their life in this free world.
And just like that, Armin says, "Yes."
Long A/N:
So, now we know more of Eren and Armin's backstory and motivations. They're planning on doing something and Eren and Floch are ready to go. Eren is also getting a bit deluded and becoming more possessive of Mikasa, who is still miserable. But he still cares for her and wants her to be happy, no matter the cost.
Mikasa is still miserable and *really* doesn't like this catty environment. She also has a brief breakdown because of the Minister of Commerce and Trade's sister and basically relied on her happiest memories to calm herself down, but then she's hit with guilt and grief when she did so. And then when Sasha spills the tea to her, she's beginning to realize that the happiness she once had may not have been so fake as she thought.
Rip to healthy relationships.
In case it wasn't clear, since the knowledge of Mikasa being used in the takeover of Hizuru isn't public knowledge, then the Minister of Commerce and Trade's sister wouldn't have been privy to the details unless someone who was involved in the original plan fed some information to her. You can probably guess who did so to make Mikasa's life harder (*cough* Zeke fed it to the Minister who fed it to his sister *cough*).
Also, I'm not trying to make it seem like the court was incompetent when bringing up Armin and Eren's background. It's more like Zeke held a lot of the power and influence, so even the ministers who didn't agree with the trial outcome couldn't really do anything to speak up and be like "this is sketch", without jeopardizing their own position. But, I'm honestly just making up these political schemes and stuff, so don't take any loopholes/illogical things in my writing seriously. Just know that Eren is about to finally complete his plan 😊
Side note: I also really miss my potato girl huhuh, ugh I love Sasha so much in this story.
Next chapter will hopefully be up soon! Real life is about to take over soon, so I want to get this out asap. So, if anything seems rushed, that's why haha. Until next time, please let me know your thoughts!