The Color of Truth: The Places in Between
Chapter Twenty-Two

During our return trip, Jaxson and I became inseparable. By the time we'd arrived home, I was pretty sure I knew everything there was to know about him. He had told me all about his past, his father, his home of Mordan, the Northern Greens, and the Southern Blues. Although he claimed that at least a third of the southern population was a combination of both, having combined their genetics through marriage over the past decade, his father held a grudge against the North. Secretly, it wasn't their skin color he despised, it was their intellect, which the Prime Minister believed was superior to the South. The North apparently had an excellent university as well as claim to Mordan's most scientific minds.

Jaxson told this story with so much disdain for division and prejudice that the more he told me, the more I liked him. By the time we'd arrived on Dantooine, I wondered exactly what my feelings of admiration had grown into. Could it possibly be love? It was difficult to determine since I'd never experienced the feeling before. Sure, I'd had a childhood crush on Master Qui-Gon, but my Dad had told me that was common amongst Padawans of the opposite gender.

Is that what I was feeling for Jaxson? Admiration with a little hero worship on the side? I wasn't sure and decided to talk to Mom about it once things had settled. I put away the items from my duffel, hung my lightsaber on the hook next to my bed, and went to search her out.

"Mom?" I asked her tentatively, finding her in their bedroom. Sometimes, it was so difficult to read her. She was an expert at hiding her true feelings. Dad had told me once it came from years of maintaining political aloofness. "What do you think about Jaxson?"

I noticed she immediately stopped folding my Dad's laundry before slowly turning to face me. "What I think about him doesn't matter," she expressed kindly. "It's what you think about him that matters."

What a dodge! "Come on," I insisted. "I really want to know." Actually, I trusted her insight and needed her to confirm he was trustworthy. So many beings weren't these days.

"Well," she began slowly, "he's a handsome young man, but I'm afraid he does have a reputation, along with a life sentence."

I warned my eyeballs to stay off the ceiling. Mom really didn't like it whenever I let them roll, which they did of their own free will sometimes.

"He explained all of that."

"And you believe him?" she asked me.

"Yes," I was quick to reply. "His mannerisms are honest and his words rang true. Why do you doubt him?"

Mom sighed and sat down on the nearby bed. I joined her. "In my life, I've come to realize that even the most seemingly honest person may be hiding something. It's often very difficult to tell."

I was afraid she was going to say something like that. Coming from a political background, of course, she felt that way. However, if there was anyone in this galaxy I did trust, it was my parents. They had never proven I should think otherwise.

"But how can I tell? If Jaxson's being honest with me, I mean."

She reached for my hand before explaining and I listened intently. Mom wasn't just the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, she was also very smart. Dad had once told me she was more intelligent than he was, but to keep that our little secret. I had, but his words convinced me to always pay heed to her advice.

"Generally, when it comes to people you don't know, all it takes is time. Time is a valuable asset and will eventually separate the chaff from the fibers. What's left will be the true essence of who that person really is."

"I see," I responded quietly. The trouble was, I didn't want to wait. I wanted to explore my feelings and act upon them right away! I was nearing my seventeenth naming day and I hadn't even been kissed yet. I was hoping Jaxson might be my first.

"Honey, I know how hard it is. When I first met your father I was overwhelmed by my feelings for him, but we had to wait. Four years! It seemed like a lifetime, but I'd do it all over again if it yielded the same result. I would've never believed I could love a man as much as I love your father. Patience often brings great rewards. Be patient, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mom," I told her before hugging her tightly. I appreciated her opinion on the matter but knew I had to ultimately make my own decisions regarding Jaxson.

Later that night as the Jedi sat around the bonfire, we relived some of the more harrowing moments of our adventures. The townspeople who had joined us were hanging on every word. I'd always loved listening to my Dad tell stories. Tonight, however, my mind was distracted. On the edge of the forest was a lone, shadowy figure standing amongst the trees. I could tell by the shape of him that it was Jaxson, and I was prompted by a deep yearning to go to him.

"Why don't you come join us?" I asked as I approached, although I wasn't sure he'd heard me. His expression seemed distant as he gazed toward the heavens.

"Not sure I fit in," he told me softly while staring at the stars. "I'm not one of you and I'm certainly not a Dantoonian. I mean, look at me," he suggested, turning his head while holding out his hands. "I don't see any other Blues here."

"Are you seriously worried about that?" I uttered with a good deal of disbelief. "Nobody here cares about what color your skin is! I mean, look at Quinlan! He's nothing like the rest of us! Does he care? About anything? Absolutely not!" I said with assurance. Sometimes, it seemed like all Quinlan Voss cared about was himself.

"Do you?" he asked me quietly.

My nerves began rattling. I wondered why at first. We had spent the week together on board that ship and had laughed and shared stories like we were the oldest friends. But then, he didn't look at me the way he was now, and he hadn't reached for my hand to hold it either.

"Do I what?" I said, playing dumb.

"Do you care? About me?"

I hadn't expected a moment like this so soon. Mom had told me to be patient, but how could I deny my own feelings? Especially when he was so bluntly asking me what they were? Wasn't honesty more important than patience?

"Of course," I admitted.

Jaxson cocked his head to one side while his thumb was doing miraculous things to the back of my hand. "You say that like you would to an old friend. I was kinda hoping we could be more than that."

While he spoke, he took a couple of steps forward. Each step made my heart beat a little bit faster.

"Yes," I stammered, embarrassed and more than a little nervous. "I mean, of course, that's what I meant. I like you, but more than like you, I really like you, and not like a friend. Don't get me wrong, I do consider you to be a friend…"

I shut myself up before I made a bigger fool of myself than I already had, although Jaxson didn't seem to mind. This entire time, he'd been smiling at me and his straight white teeth were glowing in the moonlight.

Following a quick glance toward the fire, he pulled me toward him and then spun us both in behind the trunk of a nearby tree.

"Your folks are watching," he explained, "and I didn't want them to see me do this."

Before I had a chance to say anything else, his mouth pressed against mine. At first, it was a shock, but then my senses took over and I melted into his arms. His lips were soft though firm, and they moved slowly across mine, only to retreat too soon, which left me leaning forward in pursuit of more.

My exuberance brought out a soft chuckle from his throat while he toyed with a stray strand of dark hair that had fallen across my face.

"You see? That's what kissing someone who is more than a friend feels like."

"I see," I said when actually I didn't see anything. All I knew at the moment was that I wanted another kiss, but my Dad was more than likely growing suspicious and I reluctantly yanked on Jaxson's hand.

"Come, sit by me and listen to the stories. This is my favorite time of the day."

He was still hesitant and his smile turned nervous. "Sure," he announced with a little less skepticism. "Anything you say."